rotenddecadence

[rotenddecadence]

there is no point in all this. every time I fix my life I return to where I started. as if it is a mockery of fate, teasing me with a chance to become healthy. I will never get what other people get

no sense

[rotenddecadence]

I feel like a stranger everywhere

I want to reset my life so that no one knows me

[rotenddecadence]

The term "body dysmorphia" has gone viral lately. I heard about it back in 2015 and never applied it to myself. Now that I think about it, I realize that it suits me more than ever, lol. Self-diagnoses are bad, but this is my blog and I'm just thinking. I've been running social networks since 2020 and my vision of myself is completely destroyed. My passion for Photoshop has led to the fact that I don't see my real self and my face, I don't understand what it looks like. I don't know how to describe it in words. I miss the life when I created pages just for the sake of fandoms, without posting myself. It (running social networks) acts like an addiction. In reality, I have no friends, but here I can talk even to strangers. No one has ever told me that I'm ugly, but I see everyone judging

I don't know what role €_D played in all this, considering that I hate my face much longer than my body.

[rotenddecadence]

I watched the movie "The Lovely Bones" I remember it was popular on Tumblr when I was a kid. But some year I heard a blogger say that the movie was overrated and not worth watching. And I forgot about it for a long time.

But now.. I can say with confidence: this is one of the BEST I've ever watched. I cried maybe 5 times (damn my sentimentality :D )

[rotenddecadence]

why does my face look so big even though my wɛigh7 hasn't changed

it's not fair

no matter how much weight I lose I still look like a ball

[rotenddecadence]

Why do all the movies about ƐĐ show it so..quickly? Like, they really just show "mm, a girl finds out about losing ₩ɛight somewhere, it drags on, her family gets worried, whoosh-whoosh she realizes it's wrong and gets better"

This is just my case, but in reality, at best, no one gives a shit about you. At worst: everyone jokes about it. Why not show those who never got out of their hell?

Recommend me good films about mental disorders, please. Any. Not documentaries.

[rotenddecadence]

When I think about the beginning of my journey I don't know if it was the right decision

I know I was never chubby, but my body definitely looked swollen

and every time I feel like I don't want to accept the truth that I look better now

[rotenddecadence]

Oh yeah girl, using another person with a disease in the context of "eeew, she looks so awful that I was afraid to be like that" to the general public.

I don't want to be a moralist, but even for me this is too much

right message, wrong text

[rotenddecadence]

world would be a better place if the rest of my body looked as sk1nn7 as my legs

feeling catfish

[rotenddecadence]

Tbh hate how my face and body look bcs of crooked back

[rotenddecadence]