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Samba's OFMD BTS Cat Improv video with transcript

Scene begins in the middle of an ongoing discussion of Zheng's fighting skills being similar to that of a cat

Stede: ...cat

Ed: Just a cat. She looked just like a cat.

Stede: Feline.

Ed: But not a lazy cat. (dramatic pause)

Stede: An attacker cat.

Ed (says sagely): A motivated cat.

Stede (repeats himself because he likes how it sounds): An attacker cat!

Ed (eager to spin the story to incorporate Stede's idea): Uh, eh, it was...it was a cat attack!

Stede: Ooh yeah! And we were there, too.

Ed (adamantly agreeing): And we saw it.

Stede: We were part of it.

Ed: I was part of it. We were-

Stede: We were like...

Ed: -we were also like cats!

Stede (whispers in awe imagining them as cats): Yeah!

Ed: It was like three stealthy cats.

Stede (nods in agreement with his smart bf): That's right!

Ed (loving his bf's hype): Like three humans who had skinned some cats.

Ed (ADHD mode activated): You know there are many ways to skin a cat. You can start at the head and you just peel from the nose all the way down. Or start at the ass and (gestures as if he were skinning a cat) whip it back like that!

Spanish Jackie/Leslie: Jesus wept.

Ed: It was like three cats had been skinned and we just leapt into their bodies, zipped it up...(train of thought switching tracks)...uhhhm-

Stede (trying to figure out what track they're on): It was cat skins.

Ed: -It was actually the other way around. It was like three cats killed some humans and then-

Stede (loyally agreeing with his bf): That's true. It was the opposite.

Ed: -skinned them. So like three cats had sk...caught some humans, skinned them, and then wore their skins-

Stede (quietly pushing his imagination to the limits): Yeah.

Ed: -as little suits.

Stede (proudly agreeing with his bf): Take that humans! Cats are back!

Ed (needing to emphasize the size of said cats): But they're in the big cats!

Stede (happily reiterating Ed's added detail): Yeah, big cats are back!

Ed (switching tracks again into unknown territory): Or it was like a bunch of...it was way bigger than a normal cat. It was like all of us and we are full...are filled with cats! (abruptly ends his brainstorm and silently rests his hand on his hip)

Stede (proudly standing by his bf, nodding, though he's not sure how he feels about being filled with cats): *buffering silence*

*random meow*

Swede (unsure if he's in the gravy basket because of all the poison he drank): Are you sure I'm not dead?

Spanish Jackie (tired): Yeah. Yeah.

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The Terror X In the hall of the mountain king

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Honestly it’s insane that we haven’t talked about this.

ok but lowkey I think we need to talk more about how Izzy had a whip on his belt in early s2… like,, I don’t actually have any constructive thoughts about it I just think we should Discuss.

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Hey Steddyhands fans! Do you like fics with complicated feelings? Angst? Hurt/comfort? Emotionally-heavy smut? Explosions? Psychological trauma? You may enjoy my Canon-Divergence AU series The Depths.

This series began as a fill for an “Izzy gets kidnapped” prompt on the Our Flag Means Kink meme and grew into…a lot more than that. Part 1 is finished, Part 2 is at 5 chapters so far. That’s over 150,000 cumulative words of our three favorite pirates trying (sometimes successfully) to figure out their feelings, with lots more to come!

I don’t normally do self-promo on this blog, but writing long fics is hard and knowing people are enjoying the story is the best motivation there is. If you want to say hi or ask a question, my ask box and comments section are open.

🩵💜🖤

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I just saw a take that said “people only like Steddyhands because they can’t handle Izzy not being the protagonist,” and buddy, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I like Steddyhands because imagining the three of them making out makes my dick hard 😂. Like I wish I put that much critical thinking into the things I find hot, it would have saved me a lot of drama in my 20s.

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File name: izzy-approves-most-sexily.gif

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saw someone say that they block "ageless blogs" and for a moment i imagined, like, cthulhu having a tumblr

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Sneak peek of my pieces for @becausethenightzine an Ed/Stede nsfw zine, coming soon 👀💜🍆

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I feel like it’s important to define “ship” here. When I say “I ship him with Anne and Mary,” I don’t mean “I think that would be a good/healthy/functional relationship,” I mean “I am dead certain that in canon they all hooked up and Anne and Mary were definitely part of one of the three crews who mutinied on him all in the same year. These incidents are possibly related but maybe not.”

[Credit for picture of fiction's nastiest boy here.]

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The Kraken 🐙

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[More shots below]

Without the red lighting + 2 close ups since I’m proud of the detail:

(Nearly a month of work and now I can finally take a peaceful nap, hooray.)

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you know it's your blood that i bleed

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We often treat commenting and kudosing as transactional, but I’d like to propose a different perspective.

A fandom is like a community garden; the plants and trees are fanworks, the paths and benches are structures like ao3 and kinkmemes and themed weeks or months. Comments, and kudos? Those are fertiliser. You don’t necessarily see them at work, but they make the trees grow stronger and the flowers bloom brighter. When you comment on a fic or piece of fanart, you are nourishing our shared garden and helping to make the soil fertile for future works.

I want commenters to feel proud of that contribution. Whether you turn up with a wheelbarrow of the stuff to tip on your favourite flowerbed or just drop a heart emoji in the donations box, you are helping to make the soil richer, the garden more beautiful.

And you know what? Sometimes you need to just sit in the garden without feeling obliged to do anything to maintain it. That’s okay. It’s your garden too! As an author, I don’t want people coming to my stories with a sense of obligation; I want them to be able to enjoy them and be restored by them. If they don’t have the energy to comment right now, that’s okay.

But a comment isn’t the price of an entry ticket to someone else’s garden; it’s an investment in your garden, in your community. You won’t always see it bear fruit, won’t always know what part of the whole it helped grow. But you can know what you put in, and feel proud of being part of the team nourishing and maintaining this wonderful space we all share.

And whatever you do, please—don’t litter.

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OFMD textposts

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I’ve taken some edibles and I don’t know how to create this on the computer. Is this anything?

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Hornigold’s Boys: