sad-dad-askblog

[sad-dad-askblog]

Remus

Note: Still not chapters, just character tidbits. This one can take place anywhere between a year before the story starts to a year after, Remus life is just always like this

Tw: Intrusive thoughts, delusions

Remus moved the pill between his fingers. He was supposed to take a pill every morning. They’d been prescribed to him after a few too many meltdowns in grocery stores and after a few too many teachers had complained to his parents that he never focused in class.

But he knew what the pills really were for. Knew wasn’t the right word. He had theories. 2 theorises to be exact. Theory A: The pills made his brain numb more and more with every morning until he would eventually be so braindead and or brainwashed he would do anything whoever made the pills wanted him to do. Theory B: There were small machines inside the pills. They could hear everything he said, everything he did, Everything he godamn thought.

Or both. It could be both theories at once.

So as any sane person would do he stopped taking them about 3 months ago. He would stand in front of the bathroom mirror every morning and wait until his twin Roman was all done with getting ready and then when he wasn’t looking he would let the pill go down the drain.

This morning after throwing away the pill it was only 15 or so minutes until the bus came. He got dressed without looking in the mirror. For some reason he always felt nauseous if he looked at himself when he wasn’t fully dressed.

Roman pulled in his arm the moment he got downstairs into the kitchen “No time for breakfast you non knightly night owl! We’ll miss the bus! You’ll have to wait till lunch!” He hastily said while dragging him out the door.

There was a short walk until the busstop. Roman didn’t let go of his arm as they walked.

“Is this a no talking day or?” He asked when he noticed the silence.

“Bored ducks easily become cannibals” Remus replied.

“I didn’t ask to know that”

“Bored ducks easily become cannibals” Remus repeated.

“I heard you the first time”

“Bored duc-”

Roman sighed. “If this is your way of saying you want me to ask how you discovered that then sure tell me”

The duke rambled on about his late night wikipedia research on gross animal facts until they’d gone onto the bus. He went dead quiet and looked for their usual seat and when he saw it was empty he breathed out. Not getting the exact same seat every day wouldn't give him a meltdown but it would make him feel uneasy for the rest of the day.

Remus sat the closest to the window and held his backpack close to his chest. He tried to make himself as small as possible as more and more of their classmates got on as well form different busstops. He wanted to set himself on fire and melt his skin off when he saw Roman's friends get on.

A girl, Madison, said something to Roman. He changed seats and she instead sat down next to Remus. 2 of her friends were in the seats behind them.

Madison lightly knocked her shoulder into his "You done anything this weekend?" She asked with a smile. 

Remus held onto his bag so hard he was afraid he would rip it two. He continued to look away from her as he shrugged. 

"Oh come on you must have done something" She moved closer. He could hear a girl behind him agree with Madison "Also its like super rude to not look at me when I'm talking to you. Like do you hate me or something?"

He forced himself to turn his head towards her as he shook his head. 

"So what did you do?"

Remus could hear conversations 4 seats away from them. He could hear the bus window shake behind him. He could feel people looking at him. He continued to keep eye contact. It was too much. It was too many things to take in all at once. He should just answer with another shrug. They would make fun of his answer behind his back later no matter what he said. He should just shru-

"I went out and caught as many bugs as I could and then I released them in my room to do mini experiments of how they would react to different things" He heaved out. He continued rambling about the results of the experiments, he felt more uneasy with each word.

Madison looked at him with slight disgust but let out a small laugh "Oh wow. Sooo interesting. We should totally hang out outside of school some time. Like this satuday at your place. We can get some drinks and you can talk more about-" She was holding herself back from laughter "About your interests"

There was snickering around him. As if just the idea of willingly being around him was a joke. He knew- he was pretty sure- he wasn't sure if she was joking or not. He wished he could tell when someone was joking or not just for once.

"Aren't you gonna answer?" Madison asked. 

Luckily he didn't have to. The bus stopped outside the school. Roman got up and excused himself as he grabbed onto Remus' arm and dragged him with him off the bus.

Roman stopped a few meters away from the bus but didn't let go off his twin's arm "Please don't do anything that lands you at the principal again, and the food isn't poisoned I promise" He reminded with a tired tone.

"It's not poisoned Today maybe. You never know. You could just suddenly drop de-" Remus began but was cut off.

"Save it for that day then" Roman patted his shoulder before walking away and joining his friend group, same friend group who was whispering jokes about Remus among themselves.

Remus stared down into the ground as he walked into the school. He went to the third bathroom on the second floor and inspected every wall in detail. If someone had written a message that started with E, S or R he had to slam his head 5 times into the wall or else his dad would die on his way home from work. Thankfully no one had done that this time. He still had a bruise on his forehead from last Friday.

The bell rang so he quickly hurried to class. He sincerely tried to focus but it was so hard when the guy next to him kept drumming his fingers into the table. The teacher's words became a drone as all he could focus on was the guy shifting in his seat and continuing to make sounds. He couldn't even focus on something he wasn't supposed to focus on. Like doodling in his notebook or trying to break his toe or singing all of Beetlejuice inside his head.

He wanted to whisper threats to the guy until he stopped. Or throw his book in his face so he got a noseblood. Or storm out of the room and slam the door so hard it broke. But the last time he'd whispered to the guy to shut the fuck up the guy had told the teacher and it ended up with Remus getting lectured by his mom until he wanted to rip his ears off.

Remus spent the next 3 classes picking at his nails until they were bleeding. The moment it was time for lunch he got out from the classroom as quickly as possible so no one would have the chance to talk to him again.

He put on headphones and tried to block out the sound of all the people around him with weird electronic vampyric music as he entered the cafeteria. Eating lunch wasn't even an option he thought about. He found an empty seat as hidden away as he could and got ready to spend the next hour doodling and being tensed up the entire time just in case he had to quickly escape if someone tried to talk to him again.

The bright lights in the ceiling gave him an headache. He drew small characters being crushed by mallets and nails being pulled out of hands while his thoughts about someone watching him kept pressing on until it felt like his head would implode on itself. Graphic intrusive thoughts made him tense up even more. Graphic in the sense he could see them happening. His dad's neck being snapped as his car crashes. Remus putting a straw down into his vein to suck the blood out. Him kissing his brother.

The last one made him want to rip his tounge out. He logically knew his intrusive thoughts told him things he didn't want to do but even so every time he had any sort of abusive or incestous thoughts he still couldn't help but wonder if deep down he did want it. If he actually was a disgusting gross horrible monster.

Remus realized he couldn't breathe. It felt like oil was filling his throat, shutting it down and making his bones collapse in on themself.

Tears were pressing on just as much as the intrusive thoughts and the paranoia. He got up and threw his things down into his bag. He hit his hands against the sides of his hips as he walked to try and calm down. He felt nauseous. He hated how oversensitive he was. Too many sounds and a few thoughts was all it took.

Roman was sitting with his back turned towards Remus. He was idly listening to the people around him talking. The same people who'd been on the bus earlier. Remus stopped a few steps away from the table. When he tried to say his twin's name nothing came out. He was so panicked he'd gone nonverbal.

 He wanted to poke at Roman's shoulder to get his attention but his body didn’t listen. All he could do was stand frozen and continue to hit himself. A few of the people who could see him had stopped talking. Some where whispering, some giggling. One was mimicking the way he was stimming which made the person look like a waddling penguing. 

Roman turned around to see what it was about. When he saw it was Remus he just looked tired...so tired, like right then and there his brother was nothing but an annoyance. "Rem what is it?" 

He tried to speak but all that came out was a sound from the back of his throat. He hit himself harder to try and make him understand. He usually understood. At least when they were at home.

"Can't you go be weird somewhere else at least" Roman muttered "Please"

Remus forced himself to nod while tears formed in his eyes. He continued to nod as he closed his hands into fists, making his nails pierce through his skin and draw blood, and walked away. He heard laughter as he walked.

Once he'd left the cafeteria the walk turned into a sprint. His breathing was unsteady even as he pulled up a door that led out of the building. He ran until he got to the edge of the school's area.

His intrusive thoughts started to go on about how he had to leave. He couldn't return to school. He didn't have a choice. If he didn't listen to the thoughts his family would be hurt.

So Remus kept walking. He walked until his feet hurt and he got home. He hid in his room anxious for when his mom would get home. The school must have called. They always did when he disappeared.

Remus spent the hours picking at his skin until he was bleeding so that the people watching him wouldn't want to take his blood samples while he was asleep.

The entrance door slammed open when his mom came home. The house turned cold. Usually it felt warmer when she was there. She was his mom after all. He was supposed to feel safe by her.

Her foosteps echoed through the hallways until it reached outside his door. She stopped and was quiet for a moment before finally saying.

"Remus I shouldn't let you have dinner tonight for this. You can't keep leaving school like this! Your grades are already horrible!...but I love you kiddo. I'll call when dinner is ready. But you better not do this again! I've never gotten a call about your brother! You two already look so similar why couldn't you follow some of his lead!"

It was such a mix of a berating it left him dizzy when she left. It could have been worse.

Everything about him was wrong, Remus thought, he couldn’t even eat like a normal person. He couldn’t stand the sound of other people eating. Couldn’t stand the sensory feeling of potatoes or sauce, or so many other foods that normal people could eat. Couldn’t stand the intrusive thoughts about disgusting things (cum, vomit, animal rests) being in the food. It was so constant he could see the things being on the food. It made him paranoid it actually was in there.

Eventually his dad and Roman came home and eventually it was time for dinner. It was beef with cold potatoes and brown sauce. Remus and Roman sat on one side of the table. Their dad, Patton and their mom, Lillie sat on the other side. 

The thoughts made him sick to the stomach. It felt like he was going to hurl. He stood up so quickly the chair fell down behind him. His breathing was unsteady, like always when he felt pressured to eat.

“I’m not hungry” He heaved out.

He’d only taken a step when his mom grabbed his wrist which instantly forced him to stop. Her fingers could easily wrap around his wrist. “You haven’t taken a single bite! You can’t keep throwing away food like this! I’m the one who pays for it, you do realize that right”

Remus glanced over to his dad who was looking down at his food. He glanced back at his mom and forced his wrist away from her. Everything that had happened today caught in his throat as he hissed out “I don't care! Focus more even more of your concern on Roman and leave me alone! ”

He knew it was a mistake immediately. He ran to his room and locked the door before hiding under the covers. He put his hands over his ears to shut out the banging on the door and lecturing that lasted for over 15 minutes.

He continued to cover his ears even after he heard footsteps disappearing down the hallway. He didn’t want to get up from the bed. He didn’t want to have to be real.

After an hour of trying to make himself as small on the bed as possible until he hopefully fully disappeared a soft knock came on the door. It didn’t make him flinch like the loud ones did. He reluctantly got up.

“Hiya kiddo” Patton pulled him into a short hug when he unlocked the door. 

Remus didn’t reply. He buried himself down under the blanket on his bed again. Patton sat down next to him and patted the vaguely human shaped blanket blob.

“I brought you ice cream! I thought it was better then nothing....I heard...something..happened at school today and ice cream usually cheers me up!”

Remus stuck his hand out and dragged the box of ice cream in under the blanket. Whether he would actually eat it was another question.

Patton sat silent for a while. He fiddled with his hands in his lap while searching for the right words.

“Son you’re perfect as you are. If you’re worrying about your weight I can assur-”

“It’s not an eating disorder thing” Remus cut him off.

Patton was caught off guard. He opened and closed his mouth again before finally responding with “Well if it is you can always come to me for help. Or if it’s some other thing. I’m a good helper!”

“...suuure”

The dad clasped his hands together before getting up “Well I need to be going. I’m meeting up with a colleague. Going for some drinks. Nothing unusual. I should be back before 12, don’t worry”

In an instant Remus was flooded with all the thoughts about his most recent delusion: that his dad was cheating. If he stayed up until 5 am he would eventually come across the word cheating on social media somehow, and movies about cheating kept coming on the tv on the days his dad went to meet a friend. That had to be a sign. It had to mean something.

Remus moved the blanket aside “Are you going to leave us?”

Patton froze for a moment before forcing a chuckle “Kiddo why would I ever do that?”

“To run off with whoever you’re cheating with”

His chuckle turned even more forced “Oh kiddo” He placed his hand on his shoulder “Remember that time you woke us all up at like 3 am because you were so very sure the house was on fire but then it turned out it was just your imagination? This is the same. It’s just a silly lil idea your brain has come up with. I love your mom very much. I would never do anything like that to her! Besides the friend I’m meeting up with is a man so I can’t be cheating! I mean I’m obviously not gay! Hah wouldn’t that be silly Haha”

His son nodded. He wanted to believe it so he convinced himself he did even though his thoughts kept going on about how it wasn’t.

Patton gave him another hug “Goodnight kiddo!” He said before going to cheat on his wife with Remy.

Remus was left in the room. He looked down at the ice cream that had already started to melt. He took a reluctant bite.

[sad-dad-askblog]

Remy doesn't like the name Nico

Patton: "-oh and I have a new coworker at the kindergarden. Nico-"

Remy: "THAT DIRTY MOTHERFUCKER STUPID ASS WHORE FUCKER!"

Bonus:

[sad-dad-askblog]

Who's Thomas in relation to Remy?

Remy: They try to force on a fake smile but it looks more like a grimace “He is- He was...He was my everything. Kind of. I dunno. Like. Like he let me live with him for like a year when I was 16 and got me like a job so I could buy that stupid car and-and we kept contact till I was 18 an-and” Their smile falters “I liked to like see him as kind of my dad...I- I hope he saw me as more than just an annoying leech.....I don't think I would like still be alive if he hadn’t been there” They held onto the sunglasses he’d given them “I miss him”

(Thanks for the ask <3)

[sad-dad-askblog]

Janus

 Note: This is still not chapters, just story tidbits. Tho this also take place around the start of Janus’ story

“Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad” Logan repeated in a monotone tone while poking Janus in the cheek to wake him up.

Janus’ sat up and looked around in panic. His breathing was fast and his hands had moved into fists. When he saw it was just Logan he relaxed.

“Something wrong kiddo?” 

“No. I thought it was a good idea to wake you up so you don’t oversleep for the 58th time. I’ve already woken Viv up so you don’t need to do that. Oh and I’ve already eaten too so no need to make me breakfast” Logan explained.

The 12 year old walked away before Janus had time to reply. Or give him a good morning hug for that matter. Not even a hair ruffle. The dad checked the clock on the wall. 06:55. Five minutes before his alarm was supposed to go off.

The small apartment consisted of a main room which was half living room and half kitchen, a bedroom where the kids slept in a bunkbed and a bathroom. Jan slept on the couch in the main room.

Virgil was sitting by the kitchen table when he walked in. She had her head leaned on her cat stuffie and looked like she was about to fall asleep any moment now. Janus pulled her in a short but loving hug.

“Dad!” She exclaimed.

“How’s my little devil today?” 

“I dreamed super many skeletons where giving me bunch of candy. It was great!!”

“That sounds lovely dear”

He ruffled her messy hair before moving to take out cereal and 2 bowls. He poured up the cereal into a bowl. He stopped and stared at the other one. The one he was supposed to eat from. He was supposed to eat. He was-

He placed the bowl by his daughter along with a glass of water. The other bowl was left in the cabinet.

Instead he went to the bathroom. His dark hair went down his face in curls. He didn’t look in the mirror as he ironed his hair until it was as straight as it could possible be. Unlike him.

Janus looked up into the mirror and nearly screamed. In the reflection of the mirror he could see The dark figure standing behind him. It’s eyes were glowing a burning purple. He turned around but there was nothing behind him. It was only in the reflection.

He took a deep breathe and tried to ignore it. He took his pyjama shirt off and picked up his usual black t-shirt he wore to work. The figure leaned closer. It didn’t say anything and yet

“I know” Janus mumbled. 

He dropped the shirt and looked at himself in the mirror. At the spots of white on his otherwise dark skin. The ribs that could barely even be seen through all the fat. The disgusting burn scar going over his cheek.

“I know” He repeated. 

“Know what?” Virgil asked suddenly. She’d sneaked up to scare him.

He nearly flinched but put on a fake smile instead “Nothing dear”

He took on his work clothes before helping her brush her teeth and help her get into her overalls. He tried to ignore the dark figure staring at him. 

Logan was already waiting by the door with his backpack when they came out from the bathroom. Janus tried to tie Virgil’s shoes but he kept losing his grip.

“Dad your hands are shaking again” Logan said.

“I’m okay” Janus lied.

“But-”

“It’s nothing you should worry about. It’s one of those adult problems” He managed to tie the shoelaces. He stood up and patted his son’s shoulder “Keep Viv safe please. I don’t think I have time to come pick you up either so could you make sure she gets home safely too?”

“Of course”

After some hugs and goodbyes Janus went towards the bus-stop while his kids went to school. He saw the figure sitting next to him in the reflection of the bus window. It moved it’s cold clammy finger over his burn scar. He had to hold himself back from getting off the bus immediately.

He got to the grocery store he worked at. He’d been restocking shelves for an hour when one of his coworkers leaned against the wall beside him.

“Done anything this weekend?” He (Rhys) asked with a smile.

“Ah yes. I took a lil trip to Scotland and defeated the Loch ness monster” Janus rolled his eyes “What do you think I did? Work obviously”

He chuckled “Jeez do you never get any breaks. I for one went to a concert. Thanks for asking. Are you gonna be free soon or?”

“Free from the burden that is life? Never. Free from work? On Sunday” Janus fumbled after the next can of soup to place on the shelf.

Rhys held the can out to him. Their hands meet for a moment as Janus took it from him. “How about going out for dinner on that Sunday? I’m kinda tired of only ever hanging out with you during work y’know”

A light blush spread across Janus’ cheeks. He looked him up and down. He was a year or two older than him, tall, green eyes, perfect legs. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t spent entire coffee breaks daydreaming about him.

“I-”

Janus froze. In the reflection of the glass he could see the figure standing far away. Its purple eyes stared at them.

“I-I- I’m sorry but if I wanted to be bored to death I would rather stay home and watch paint dry” Janus lied in a forced icy tone “Now can you please just go do your job and annoy someone else”

Rhys tried to search for something to say. Janus glared at him until he gave up and left. The figure had disappeared. He let out a sigh and ignored how disappointed he felt. The figure being gone was all that mattered. 

He worked for another 7 hours. When he left he felt exhausted down to his bones. His stomach kept rumbling but he ignored it. His ribs had started to hurt from hunger again. He took the bus to his other job. A pizza place. He was the one who drove out pizzas to people on a moped.

After 2 hours of driving back and forth he felt so lightheaded he nearly drove into a lamppost. He turned to the left and managed to stop right before crashing into a wall.

He sat down on the side of the pavement and took a few deep breaths. On the other side of the street was a corner shop. He knew he should eat. He wanted to.

The dark figure watched him from the shop’s window. Janus hid his face in his hands. “I know” He mumbled. He knew it was selfish to spend money on food for himself when he barely had any money to spare to begin with. Even eating was selfish because that food could go to his kids instead, who needed it much more than he ever would. 

He knew he couldn’t do it. He got back on the moped and continued with the rest of his shift. 

When he finally got home it was already dark outside. He’d barely had time to take his jacket off when Virgil ran up and hugged him....hugged his legs at least. She wasn’t very tall yet.

“Pizza?” She asked while looking up at him with puppy eyes.

“No pizza”

“But you work at pizza store!!! You should get pizza!” She pouted like she did every time she got reminded of the cold hard truth of no pizza.

“Dad” Logan interrupted “I did the dishes so you don’t need to worry about them filling the sink anymore. Me and Viv have already eaten, I made dinner, but there’s leftovers”

“I wish the world worked like that kiddo”

"We'll get pizza next time or else I will curse them with curses! Several curses!"

The figure stared at him from a picture on the wall.  “Thanks but I’m not really hungry” Janus lied.

“Dad” He said it in a nearly begging tone. They both knew he knew.

“...I guess I can make place for a bit more food” He patted Logan on the shoulder “Thanks. I don’t know what I would do without my little helper”

Virgil babbled on about what she’d done in kindergarden the entire time he ate. His burn scar ached like it was fresh again and the figure watched on from every reflection he could see.

Once he’d finished the meal Virgil made him agree on watching a movie. She skipped over to the couch with an excited smile. Janus stood up and looked at Logan who was trying to focus on his homework. He’d skipped 2 grades so he was already in grade 9. 

He put his hand on Lo’s shoulder “I hope you know you don’t need to do all those chores. It’s not like I can't just do the dishes and cook and everything once I come home from work”

“I know. I want to do them” Logan replied without taking his eyes off his paper.

“Dear don’t overwork yourself please” He pressed a kiss to his hair.

Logan let out a monotone gasp “I would never”

He ruffled his hair again before going over to the couch. Virgil climbed into his lap and hugged him the moment he sat down.

“So my little devil what are we watching?”

“Litol shop of horror! Lo said it was super famous horror movie”

“You sure you’re old enough to watch that? We can watch Hocus pocus again” Janus suggested.

“No!! Hocus pocus is for babies! I am 5 entire years!”

He chuckled “Sure kiddo”

10 minutes into the movie Janus fell asleep. He woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare. A blanket had been laid over him and Virgil was cuddled up next to him. Quiet snores were coming from her.

The dark figure was watching them from the reflection on the turned off tv. Janus moved his arms around Virgil and hoped more than anything that she wasn’t seeing the figure too.

[sad-dad-askblog]

Patton

Note: This isn’t a first chapter or anything, It’s just a story bit focused on a specific character......Tho this does happen to take place right at the start of the story.

Words: 1278

Patton stopped the car in the motel’s parking lot. He gripped onto the steering wheel so hard his knuckles whitened. It was 12 pm. He should have stayed home. Guilt was already eating him up. It always did.

Still he got out and went into the dimly lit reception. A lady was sitting behind the desk reading a magazine. He knocked on the desk to get her attention.

“The usual?” She asked while barely looking up from the magazine.

“The usual please”

She handed over the key to room 84 at the same time he handed over the 25 dollars for a one nights stay. He twirled the key between his fingers. He’d lost count of how many times he’d held it by now.

The room was as cheap looking as usual. There was a bed, a nightstand and a small bathroom. Nothing more. (One time he’d found a rat sleeping in the shower, he’d taken it home to Remus).

The bathroom mirror was dirty as he looked into it. He combed through his hair with his fingers and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. He took off his wedding ring and looked at it for a moment before hiding it deep down in his pant’s pocket.

Patton pointed at his reflection “Listen buddy! what you’re doing is wrong! What you’re thinking is wrong too! It’s immoral and shameful an-and dirty and horribly unkind to everyone around you! And you should feel guilty! You should feel awful!”

He let out a sigh while looking away from the mirror “I already do” He mumbled.

He went back out into the main room and sat down on the edge of the bed. He searched up pictures of undressed women on his phone. It was a sort of ritual he had before every meet up. Even when he went to gay bars he stayed in his car to look at it for a while before going in.

Maybe this time he would see the pictures and react in the right way. Maybe this time he would have magically stopped being wrong. Maybe this time he would be able go come home again and everything would be like it was supposed to be.

Suddenly the door opened and Remy entered. Patton yelped and quickly shut his phone off. They sent him a smile while leaning on the door in a very very extra way.

“Sup old man” They took off their sunglasses and closed the door behind them “Sorry I’m like late. I was too busy being popular and loved by like everyone!”

“It’s okay. You’re always late”

“The best bitch always comes like last......That’s what she said. Or me said. Probably. I’m like a genius!”

They took off their leather jacket while walking up to him. They sat down so they were straddling his lap and leaned their arms on his shoulders. He moved an arm around their waist to keep them close.

“You look grumpier than usual today. Something fucked up happened? Backproblems? Old people have problems with their backs I know that”

“I’m 34 not 50″ Patton muttered.

“Ehh same difference....It’s the kids isn’t it? It’s always the kids”

“How many times do I have to tell you to not bring up my kiddos. I would like to keep that side of my life separated from this” He replied in a tired tone.

They ignored what he said “You said they were 14? 15? Yeah it’s time for problems. I remembeing being 15″ They let out a forced chuckle “Wish I didn’t!”

Patton put his finger over their mouth “Shh. No more talking” He moved his hand to caress their chin and moved into a kiss.

He closed his eyes and melted into it. Getting to be with (someone adjacent to) another man was the only thing in his entire life that made him feel something positive aside from being with his kids. 

Instead of the mind numbing guilt he felt free. He forgot what he was doing was wrong and shameful. He felt.....happy....For once completely happy.

His hand moved up under their shirt. He could feel every single one of their ribs. His dad senses kicked the fuck in.

“You should eat more” He mumbled out against their lips.

“It’s fine”

“I can bu-”

Remy leaned back and looked at him “You said no talking right? So like shut your mouth. It aint important”

They pushed him down so he was laying with his back on the bed. They kissed him and he accepted. He hadn’t really wanted to bring real emotions into their conversations anyway.

-

45 minutes later Remy laid cuddled up next to Patton. They were lazily pressing kisses to his cheek. He checked the watch on his wrist. It was past 1:30 am.

“I should go. I have work in the morning” Patton excused while moving to sit up.

Remy lightly pushed on his shoulders to make him lay down again “So do I” 

He grabbed their wrists and moved them aside “I should rephrase that. I want to go because we’re done and there’s no other reason for me to say”

Their stomach dropped in an instant “But like you can’t go home yet. You’re like all sweaty and ehh stuff. Your wife is gonna notice. We can shower together? It’ll be like tots warm and cuddly”

He moved over to the edge of the bed and put his socks on “No one should be awake when I get home” He lied. At least his wife wouldn’t be “I’ll shower there”

“But....But...But Patty I’ve heard about this like high school comedy movie y’know like mean girls but not mean girls. We can watch it? Like now? Together? On this bed?....I mean I was gonna watch it with some of my Many Many friends but you’re like an old man so you could like learn more from watching it! It’ll be great!”

He got up and took on the rests of his clothes “I only ever watch teen movies with my kiddo on Saturday movie nights. It’s tradition sorry”

Remy moved the blanket so it hid their chest “.....We can just like chat. I dunno that much about you. You know like nothing ‘bout me. Don’t you wanna know something?”

Patton went over to them and looked directly into their eyes “Remy, The only things I Need to know about you is your age, telephone number and that you’re great in bed”

They sunk in on themself. They looked away and nodded. Patton took the keys and dropped them on the bed in front of them.

“Stay as long as you want. I’ve already paid. All you need to do is-”

“Return the key. I know. The usual” Remy sighed.

He leaned their chin up and gave them a long last kiss. One last taste of freedom. One last moment of not being buried under shame.

“I’ll message you in 2 weeks or so” Patton stated. He didn’t look at Remy again before leaving the room.

He got back in his car. He sunk his forhead against the steering wheel. Misery rose up into his throat until he felt nauseous. The coming weeks seemed so devoid of emotions aside from shame he didn’t want to live through them. He just wanted to not feel empty all the time,

At least he had his kids. At least if he got to be with them he could get through it. 

All he had to do was drive home like usual. Kiss his wife in the morning like usual. Go to work like usual. Try to get through dinner without Remus storming away from the table like usual. Help Roman down from another panic attack like usual. Lay down in bed and ignore the thoughts in his head desperately yearning for the person laying next to him to be a man like usual.

Patton took a deep breath and started the car.

[sad-dad-askblog]

You're not a stupid bitch Remy!! And it's not okay!! I understand that you may feel like you don't have any other options right now or that you can handle it but it's not okay. And you can ask for help! I hope stuff gets better soon.

Remy: "Eyy gals there's like no need to be this serious 'bout it. Like it was a few times, a few bruises, it's-"

They let up into a forced smile while trying to come up something to say. They weren't used to people caring like this. They felt the same kind of unsure feeling they had felt when they first met Patton. When Thomas....

"Seriously I told the guy to fuck off. I left. I maybe had like a... tiny flashb- panic. But it's fine now. I'll probs never see him or any of the other assholes again. I don't need otha options, I like my job thank you. Besides who would I ask for help? Patton?? Heh fucking hell.....like he would ever care"

[sad-dad-askblog]

Remy: "Well gal sometimes when you work at a zoo the tigers eat ya. And sometimes someone decides to choke the life outa you without asking 'bout it first. And like you just gotta live with that 'cause most of the time it's nice and there aint many choices"

Who gave Remy the bruise?

Remy: "A client at work. I don't like remember his name. It happens. It's like tots fine. I'm too classy to cry over some bruise. Who like does that. I don't. Totally do not. No ma'am"

[sad-dad-askblog]

Remy: "It's happened before and It'll probs happen again. I'll survive. I've survived worse. So it's like tots okay. Comes with being a stupid bitcc I guess"

Who gave Remy the bruise?

Remy: "A client at work. I don't like remember his name. It happens. It's like tots fine. I'm too classy to cry over some bruise. Who like does that. I don't. Totally do not. No ma'am"

[sad-dad-askblog]

Just to be clear this blog is open for asks 24/7. The art and stuff is just there to provide story bits so it's easier to like ask stuff.

[sad-dad-askblog]

How is everyone?

I'm doing good if you're all wondering.

Janus: *Screaming in the background, hawks are stealing children, the house is on fire* "Everything is fine (:"

Patton: I am...alive......ehhh :D I'm glad you're doing good :D Let's not focus on me. Haha I'm a mess :D :D :D

Remy: "Girl it's winter and cold as fuck. I deserve better than this. Nice you're doing good I guess, I aint.

Roman: "!!!!!The cute guy in class smiled at me today!!!!!"

Remus: "Vlad the impaler used to impale people on poles by their asses and then eat lunch under them. I'm feeling like one of the anus impaled people"

Logan: "I am attempting to find red food coloring and failing miserably. Do not ask why. I am doing adequately horribly."

Virgil: "I'mma make fake blood an throw it at dad when he comes home. Lo is helping. C: dont tell dad. It great surprise!"

[sad-dad-askblog]

Who gave Remy the bruise?

Remy: "A client at work. I don't like remember his name. It happens. It's like tots fine. I'm too classy to cry over some bruise. Who like does that. I don't. Totally do not. No ma'am"

[sad-dad-askblog]

'Bad day'

Patton: "Do you want to talk about it?" He couldn't take his eyes off of the layers of purple and blue, nearly black, that made up the bruise around their neck.

Remy: "It's Fine! It's normal" their voice was still hoarse from the....the....they didn't even want to think about it.

[sad-dad-askblog]

The design for Remy in the Sad Dad AU!