saenvdcrey

[saenvdcrey]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[saenvdcrey]

kill them with kindness? wrong, eldritch blast

[saenvdcrey]

The love of a man in shambles.

My father — who’s always nowhere to be found when you needed him even when he’s sometimes there, gave me something that is now worn out with a hint of love.

It was my 16th birthday, like any other birthday. I was in my room with Den and Sandra; we were talking about something I don’t remember. I only knew that we were laughing about something silly when he popped up out of nowhere…my father, grinning from ear to ear, was holding a plastic bag. He entered the room and talked to me, saying he has something for me. I was taken aback as he never made an effort to give me anything, especially on my birthday. I received it, opened it, and saw Luffy’s grinning face, and posture when he’s about to use gear 2. I knew it wasn’t a piece of official merch or a brand collab because the watermark was conspicuous; I noticed it immediately. He then told me that he downloaded it from the web, spent some time picking what picture he wanted to use, but because he knew I loved Luffy the most, he chose him. Then he proceeded to a custom apparel printing shop that he found by chance, with him was a gray shirt, he chose the color gray because it was my favorite. I awkwardly accepted it, the thoughtful present of an absent father. I didn’t know how to feel that time, until now, that I’m 23.

There will always be this tidbits moment of his sudden thoughtfulness, so rare that I could count it on my fingers. Like a whim of affection where he thought he’s being a loving parent or somewhat decent. I could see it though even if I don’t want to, the scarce effort of being liked. When he knew he was somewhat estranged to his eldest daughter that he scorned because I’m indignant, and have grievances that no daughter should have to him, at least.

Albeit taxing, the ‘knick-knack of a love’ my father gave, whose uncaring is still a baggage I’m clumsily learning to let go of whilst wearing my worn out printed luffy t-shirt.