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everything is a horse if you are wrong about what things are

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Tomato soup cake.

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if i was a cat would you pspspss at me be honest

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It was a pizza that made me emotional upon seeing it. I got a refund.

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"Amulets shouldn't seeth with rage" "jewelry actually should not talk at ALL" quit being such a fucking hater oh my god

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people who learned about greek mythology due reasons that DONT involve having read percy jackson at 12 freak me out, like what the FUCK was going on in your life that you found out that zeus turned into a pigeon to woo his wife like HOW

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Who should I draw with the 22 macaroni pizza to express the sheer amount of emotions I am currently processing

KAKASHI

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the writer’s urge to ask your friends “do you wanna see a little somethin’ i’ve been working on?” when the little somethin’ you’ve been working on is 800 words and ends in the middle of a sentence

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Thinking about that bridgerton line “you are the bane of my existence, and the object of all my desires” but madatobi. Their exact dynamic fr

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writing historical fiction is like: yes i can write a beautiful scene with longing glances but FIRST i must know how people brushed their teeth in 1814

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So I've got this friend whose nervous because she's trans and dating this guy who she hasn't told yet because they've only been on a two dates. For this story let's call the friend Jane and the guy she was dating Jason. Happy ending don't worry.

So I tell Jane to bring her boy over to a bbq I'm having and she can tell him she's trans at my place surrounded by queer and trans people who love her and will support her if he ends up being awful.

She waits till the end of the bbq to tell him the news, by which point the rest of us have learned that Jason is a kind, friendly, empathetic, hard working, dummy. So we sit down, all of us a little worried about this gym bro's reaction when she tells him she's trans, and that she understands if he doesn't want to keep dating her it's no big deal.

He's baffled, so we explain what trans is, and after the disclosure that she hasn't had bottom surgery yet...

"Oh you have a dick?"

"... yeah."

He look's around at the room full of people with baited breath, his clearly a little afraid girl friend says

"Oooohhhh! I get it! You think- don't worry Babe! Watch this!"

And ya'll this man jumps up, runs into the kitchen and returns with one of the bratwurst we had for grilling and proceeds to tilt his head back, put it down his throat, hold it in his mouth for a moment, and spit it up without even a whisper of a gag and then looks around at the group absolutely beaming with pride.

My mans saw his worried girlfriend and her support network and thought to him self "Oh they don't think I can't please my girl, but I'll show them!"

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Taxi driver Madara🚕 | Naruto shitpost

original video under the cut

naruto characters, subtitles and audio not mine

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do you guys wanna see the most perfectest png of my cat

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by age 40 every warlord should have

4-5 trusted generals

a kind of useless emperor to be nominally loyal to

obsessively devoted relationship with an advisor

at least one strategically useful territory you repeatedly lose and recapture and at this point it just feels like a personal vendetta and everyone is begging you to cut your losses and move on but how could you move on from something you’ve pumped so much of your own blood into?

ominous relative

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why are dudes in fanfic always getting hit with freight train orgasms. why not an orient express orgasm, classy and romantic. where are the shinkansen train orgasms? his orgasm hit him like the TGV atlantique breaking the passenger rail speed record. like the shanghai maglev, his orgasm was a feat of engineering but something of a commercial disappointment.