sanslovesblog

[sanslovesblog]

Did you delete the silver siren song?

Ah yea I did, I really didn’t like the way it turned out. I’ll bring it back as soon as I have more time to get back into writing fics🤍

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I'm happy you still write ❤️

Awwww thank yoouuuu🤍I’ll be writing new fics every 4 months, gotta let the brain rest

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What's the silver siren song?

It’s a hwa fic that I’ll be starting on sometime this year, rn I’m more focused on the current fic atm.

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Will you make a masterpost in the future?

I’m currently working on it rn, it’s in my drafts and I will be posting it soon.

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I can’t be the only one that’s experiencing problems with Instagram🧍🏽‍♀️

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Hi the new chapter of The silver siren song isn't added to your master list 😊

Yes I’m aware of that, I’ll add it😭🤣

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Unraveling Madness: San's Dark Secrets Pt 6

Summary: You're a brilliant psychiatrist, but you were no stranger to internal conflicts. You had accepted the task of treating Choi San, the psychiatric ward's most dangerous patient due to his violent episodes. Despite skepticism from other staff members, you believed that beneath his destructive exterior lay a vulnerable human being, yearning for understanding and acceptance.

Genre: Fluff

Teaser | Master list | Pt. 7

Dr. Y/n took a deep breath before continuing. "Choi San… I want to apologize. Not just for what happened to you, but for how I've handled things since then. I've been so focused on your recovery and your progress that I haven't given enough thought to your feelings. I haven't been the friend that I should have been."

Choi San was taken aback by her words, but he didn't want her to think that he was upset. He took her hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Dr. Y/n, there's no need to apologize. You've done so much for me already, and I know that you're only trying to help. I appreciate everything you've done, and I'm grateful to have you as a friend."

She smiled at him, tears welling up in her eyes. "Thank you, Choi San. I'm glad to hear that. But I still want to be better for you. I want to be the friend that you deserve, one who's there for you not just during the hard times, but also during the good ones."

Choi San leaned in closer, his expression softening. "I would like that, Dr. Y/n. To have a friend who's there for me no matter what." He hesitated for a moment, then continued, "And I hope I can be that friend for you too. You've been through so much, and I want to be there for you whenever you need someone to talk to."

Dr. Y/n smiled warmly, wiping away a tear that had escaped down her cheek. "Thank you, Choi San. I know I can count on you." They sat in silence for a moment, lost in their own thoughts, before Dr. Y/n spoke up again. "So, what do you think about this new idea I had? The experimental therapy?"

Choi San nodded eagerly. "I'd be willing to try anything that could help me regain more of my abilities. You've done so much already, and I trust your judgment." He paused, considering her question. "And… I hope that one day soon, we can try those things together. As friends, I mean."

Dr. Y/n smiled warmly, a hint of blush creeping into her cheeks. "Of course, Choi San. I'd be honored to try those things with you. And I hope that one day, you'll be able to show everyone just how amazing you really are." She paused, her expression turning more serious. "And… thank you for being there for me. For being my friend. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Choi San felt a lump form in his throat as he looked into her eyes. He knew she meant every word, and it meant the world to him. "You're welcome, Dr. Y/n. I feel the same way. You've been through so much, and you've always been there for me. I want to be there for you too, whenever you need me."

Choi San nodded eagerly. "I'd be willing to try anything that could help me regain more of my abilities. You've done so much already, and I trust your judgment." He paused, considering her question. "And... I hope that one day soon, we can try those things together. As friends, I mean."

Dr. Y/n smiled warmly, a hint of blush creeping into her cheeks. "Of course, Choi San. I'd be honored to try those things with you. And I hope that one day, you'll be able to show everyone just how amazing you really are." She paused, her expression turning more serious. "And... thank you for being there for me. For being my friend. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Choi San felt a lump form in his throat as he looked into her eyes. He knew she meant every word, and it meant the world to him. "You're welcome, Dr. Y/n. I feel the same way. You've been through so much, and you've always been there for me. I want to be there for you too, whenever you need me."

They sat in silence for a moment, lost in their own thoughts, before Dr. Y/n spoke up again. "So, what do you think we should do to prepare for this experimental therapy? Should we start looking into it together? Maybe even discuss it with the other doctors here?"

Choi San nodded thoughtfully. "I think that would be a good idea. It'd be nice to have someone who knows my situation as well as you leading the charge. And I appreciate your willingness to discuss it with the other doctors. It shows that you really care about my recovery." He paused, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Maybe we could even sneak out of here and have an adventure while we're at it."

Dr. Y/n laughed softly, a genuine sound that Choi San found incredibly endearing. "You really think we could get away with that, Choi San?" She teased. "But I suppose if we're careful, we could sneak out for a short while. There's a nice park nearby where we could go for a walk and talk about our plans."

Choi San grinned back at her. "Oh, I'm sure we could manage it. We're both pretty clever, after all." He took a deep breath, looking around them.

@skzline | @janetsarttrove | @vampzity | @xoxkii | @idfkeddieishot | @evidive

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Unraveling Madness: San's Dark Secrets Pt. 5

Summary: You're a brilliant psychiatrist, but you were no stranger to internal conflicts. You had accepted the task of treating Choi San, the psychiatric ward's most dangerous patient due to his violent episodes. Despite skepticism from other staff members, you believed that beneath his destructive exterior lay a vulnerable human being, yearning for understanding and acceptance.

Teaser | Master list | Pt 6

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting an ethereal glow over the city, Choi San found himself once again in his favorite spot within the lush gardens of the local park. His heart was lighter than it had been in weeks, as he anticipated the arrival of his dear friend, Dr. Y/n. The gentle rustle of leaves and the occasional chirp of birds provided a soothing soundtrack to their conversations, creating a serene oasis amidst the hustle and bustle of city life.

Dr. Y/n, looking as radiant as ever, arrived a few moments later, your steps light and your expression bright. You took a seat beside Choi San, their shoulders gently touching as they leaned against the comforting embrace of a large tree. "So," you began, your voice soft and gentle, "how have you been feeling?"

Choi San took a deep breath, savoring the familiar scent of your perfume, before exhaling slowly. "Better, actually. The physical therapy is going well, and I'm starting to regain some strength in my hands." He glanced at you, hoping his words would convey the depth of his gratitude for all you had done.

You beamed beamed with pride. "I'm so glad to hear that! Your progress has been remarkable, Choi San. You should be proud of yourself." You reached over and gently squeezed his hand, your touch sending a warmth coursing through his veins.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence, content to simply enjoy each other's company in the peaceful surroundings. As they sat there, Choi San couldn't help but wonder about the future. He knew that the road to recovery would be long and arduous, but he also knew that he wouldn't be alone on that journey. You had promised to be by his side every step of the way, and he trusted your implicitly.

Dr. Y/n seemed to sense his thoughts, as you gently squeezed his hand again. "You know," you began, your voice thoughtful, "I've been thinking… there are a few things we could try to help with the recovery process, outside of the normal therapies. Some experimental techniques that have shown promising results. Would you be interested in exploring those options with me?"

Choi San looked up at you, hope flickering in his eyes. "Of course, Dr. Y/n. Anything that could help me regain more of my abilities, I'm willing to try." He paused, then added, "And thank you. For always going above and beyond for me."

Dr. Y/n smiled warmly, your eyes twinkling with kindness. "You're welcome, Choi San. It's not a problem. You know I'm here for you, and I'll do whatever I can to help you reach your full potential." You paused, considering your next words carefully. "I've been thinking… there's something else I'd like to discuss with you. Something that's been on my mind a lot lately."

Choi San felt a knot form in his stomach. He knew that look in your eye. It was the same one you got when you were about to say something important, something that needed to be said. He steeled himself, preparing for whatever you might say next.

Taking a break after this is posted

@skzline | @janetsarttrove | @vampzity | @xoxkii | @idfkeddieishot | @evidive

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Unraveling Madness: San's Dark Secrets Pt. 4

Summary: You're a brilliant psychiatrist, but you were no stranger to internal conflicts. You had accepted the task of treating Choi San, the psychiatric ward's most dangerous patient due to his violent episodes. Despite skepticism from other staff members, you believed that beneath his destructive exterior lay a vulnerable human being, yearning for understanding and acceptance.

Trigger warning: death

Teaser | Master list | Pt 5

Throughout his tale, Choi San's voice grew steadier, his eyes beginning to lose their haunted expression. There was a sense of catharsis in finally sharing these long-buried memories, as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. You listened intently, offering occasional words of understanding and empathy, allowing him to take the lead in the conversation.

As the session drew to a close, Choi San felt a newfound sense of hope beginning to stir within him. He told you about how, as a young boy, he had been forced to watch his parents being brutally murdered by a group of thugs. They had been after something valuable that his father had hidden in their home. In a desperate attempt the father tried protecting the valuable that was hidden while Choi San's mother protected him, she had sent him out to play with a neighbor's child, not realizing it would be the last time he ever saw her. The memory still haunted him to this day, the sound of their screams echoing in his ears like a macabre lullaby.

You listened intently, your expression one of both empathy and horror. You nodded along as he spoke, understanding all too well the depths of trauma he had experienced. As he finished recounting the harrowing tale, you reached out and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Choi San," you began, your voice gentle but firm, "I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you must have gone through. It's incredible that you've managed to survive this far, let alone find the strength to share your story with me today." Your words brought a small, yet genuine, smile to his lips. "You are incredibly strong, and I am so proud of you."

You paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I want you to know that I am here for you, Choi San. Whatever you need, I will do everything in my power to help you heal from this. We will face your demons together, and we will overcome them." Her words filled him with a newfound sense of hope, and for the first time in a long while, he felt truly heard and understood. The weight of his past began to lift from his shoulders, replaced by a sense of lightness and relief. He felt lighter, more at peace with himself. He knew that the road ahead would still be long and difficult, but he no longer felt alone. The darkness that had once consumed him was beginning to recede, making way for a brighter future.

As the session came to a close, Choi San thanked you for your patience, understanding, and support. He left your office with a newfound determination to confront his demons head-on and begin the process of healing. Over the next few weeks, he continued to make progress in therapy, learning healthy coping mechanisms and developing a stronger sense of self. The nightmares became less frequent, and the voices in his head grew quieter.

One day, as they were discussing his progress, Choi San felt compelled to share something else with you. He told you about the guilt he carried, the belief that if he had been a better son, a stronger boy, his mother might still be alive. You listened intently, offering words of reassurance and perspective. You reminded him that he was only a child at the time, and that his mothers' love for him could never have been diminished by the actions of others.

Over time, Choi San began to see things differently. He started to understand that his mother would never have wanted him to live a life defined by the pain of her loss. He realized that he had spent so much of his life trying to be the perfect son, the perfect survivor, that he had forgotten who he truly was beneath all the trauma. With your support, he started to embrace his own identity, to find joy in the small moments of life that had once eluded him.

@skzline | @janetsarttrove | @vampzity | @xoxkii | @idfkeddieishot | @evidive

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Unraveling Madness: San's Dark Secrets Pt. 3

Summary: You're a brilliant psychiatrist, but you were no stranger to internal conflicts. You had accepted the task of treating Choi San, the psychiatric ward's most dangerous patient due to his violent episodes. Despite skepticism from other staff members, you believed that beneath his destructive exterior lay a vulnerable human being, yearning for understanding and acceptance.

Trigger warning: mentions of su1cide

Teaser | Master list | Pt 4

Choi San leaned forward, his elbows digging into the soft cushion of the couch. His eyes were distant, lost in a memory so vivid that it seemed as though he was reliving it all over again. His voice was barely above a whisper as he continued to share the horrific abuse caused by his father. He spoke of the nights he would wake up to the sound of his father's fists pounding against his mother's fragile body, the muffled screams that would echo through the halls of their once-peaceful home. He remembered the look of terror in his mother's eyes as she tried to shield him from the onslaught, the taste of blood in his mouth from the times he had been forced to defend himself against his own parent.

The more Choi San spoke, the more emotion welled up inside of him, threatening to spill over at any moment. Tears began to stream down his cheeks, leaving trails of glistening wetness on his face. He fought back the sobs that threatened to rack his body, determined not to break down in front of Dr. Y/n. You sat there, silently listening, your eyes never leaving his face, offering him a level of understanding and empathy that he had never experienced before.

As the memories poured forth, Choi San found himself reliving not only the physical abuse but also the emotional torment his father had inflicted upon him. He spoke of the countless times his father had belittled and humiliated him in front of his friends and classmates, of the way he had made him feel like nothing more than a worthless piece of garbage. The pain in his voice was palpable, each word cutting deeper into your heart.

You listened intently, your gaze never wavering from his face, your features etched with a mixture of anger, sadness, and understanding. Choi San could see that you were struggling to hold back your own emotions, but you remained steadfast in your role as his therapist, offering him the support and empathy he so desperately needed.

"I can't even begin to imagine what it must have been like for you, Choi San," you finally said, your voice gentle but firm. "It's clear that your father's abuse went far beyond just physical violence. He systematically destroyed your self-esteem and sense of worth, making you feel like you were worthless." Your words seemed to cut through the haze of pain that had settled around him, and for a moment, he felt a spark of anger ignite within him.

Choi San nodded, wiping away the remaining tears from his cheeks. He took a deep breath, trying to steady his racing thoughts. "Yeah," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "He did everything he could to make me feel like I didn't belong anywhere. Like I was nothing. But the worst part wasn't just the abuse itself… it was the way everyone else treated me afterward. They'd see the bruises and know what had happened, but no one ever did anything to help."

You leaned forward, your expression filled with compassion and understanding. "I can only imagine how isolating that must have been for you, Choi San. It's not uncommon for children in situations like yours to feel like they're the only ones going through something like this. But you're not alone. You don't have to go through this alone."

Your words resonated deeply within him, offering a glimmer of hope in the midst of the darkness. Choi San looked down at his hands, clenched into fists, before slowly relaxing them. He took a deep breath, steadying himself as he continued to share his story. "There were times when I thought about killing myself," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "I thought it would be better for everyone if I just wasn't around anymore."

Your expression turned grave. "I'm glad you didn't take that step, Choi San. It's not your fault what happened to you. You didn't deserve any of it. And you don't deserve to suffer anymore." You paused, considering your next words carefully. "Do you think there's any chance your father could change? That he might realize the harm he's caused and try to make amends?"

Choi San snorted derisively. "No, I don't. Even now, he thinks he's the victim in all this. He never takes responsibility for his actions." He sighed heavily. "I just wish I could forget all of it. Make it all go away."

You listened intently, nodding your understanding. "I can imagine how difficult it must be for you to carry those memories around, Choi San. It's natural to want to forget such horrific experiences. But trying to forget them doesn't mean they'll disappear. In fact, it can sometimes make the pain worse, as if they're haunting you."

You paused, considering your next words carefully. "What if, instead of trying to forget, we focused on processing those memories in a healthy way? On turning them into something that can empower you, rather than hold you back?" You leaned forward, meeting his gaze with a mixture of determination and compassion. "I believe that you have the strength within you to confront your past and come out the other side stronger than ever before."

Choi San felt a spark of hope flicker within him at your words. He hadn't realized until now how much he had been longing for a way to move past the pain and the shame. Your offer felt like a lifeline, a chance to finally break free from the darkness that had consumed him for so long.

@skzline | @janetsarttrove | @vampzity | @xoxkii | @idfkeddieishot

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Why no more fanfics?

Hm well I haven’t made one in three years so I kinda lost my spark, and I’m also not proud of the one I have atm. Others like it so as long as they’re happy with it I’m cool with it ig🤷🏽‍♀️

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Your story is really good!

Thank youu🤍🤍as soon as I finish all 5 chapters, I’m not posting anymore fanfics.

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Unraveling Madness: San's Dark Secrets Pt. 2

Summary: You're a brilliant psychiatrist, but you were no stranger to internal conflicts. You had accepted the task of treating Choi San, the psychiatric ward's most dangerous patient due to his violent episodes. Despite skepticism from other staff members, you believed that beneath his destructive exterior lay a vulnerable human being, yearning for understanding and acceptance.

Trigger warning: mentions of harming others, self harm, trauma

Teaser | Master list | Part 3

As Dr. Y/n entered the therapy room, she noticed Choi San sitting in one of the armchairs, his gaze fixed on the door. The air was heavy with anticipation, and she knew that today would be different. She closed the door behind her, the sound echoing through the room like a silent declaration of intent.

"Today, we're going to talk about something new," she began, taking a seat opposite him. "We're going to explore your past traumas, the events that shaped you into the person you are today."

Choi San stared at her, his face a stoic mask hiding his innermost feelings. "Why do you care so much? Everyone else has given up on me. Why should you be any different?"

Dr. Y/n paused, considering her response carefully. "Because I believe there's more to you than just the violence. I see a complex individual struggling to cope with their past." She paused, allowing her words to sink in. "It's my hope that together, we can uncover the root causes of your pain and find a way to heal them."

Choi San studied her carefully, his expression guarded but hinting at vulnerability. "You really think you can make a difference?" He asked quietly, his voice barely audible.

"Yes," she replied firmly, her resolve unwavering.

"I truly believe that we can make a difference in your life. But it all depends on you – whether you're willing to trust me enough to share your deepest fears and pains."

Choi San watched her closely, his eyes tracing every subtle movement of her face. There was something in her gaze that resonated within him, stirring long-dormant feelings of connection and understanding. It wasn't pity or sympathy he saw reflected in her eyes, but genuine empathy and a desire to help. And somehow, that small glimmer of hope reassured him that perhaps things could change.

You continued to delve deeper int Choi San's childhood, hoping to uncover more about the root causes of his violent behavior. "What's your relationship with your parents?" You asked him. Choi San hesitated for a moment before describing his father as a strict and demanding man who expected nothing short of perfection from him. "My father would often physically abuse me if I didn't meet his standards, leaving me with bruises and scars" he said looking down, clenching his fists as his voice cracks with emotion.

Despite this, Choi San still felt a sense of loyalty and duty towards his father, as if he were the only one who truly understood him. As the sessions progressed, you began to see a pattern in the way Choi San dealt with his emotions. He would internalize his pain and anger, often taking it out on himself in the form of self-harm. "Instead of harming yourself, let's try a different approach" you added. You decided to approach the subject differently. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of his past, you encouraged Choi San to express his emotions through art therapy.

You gave him a set of paints, canvas, and other art supplies, and asked him to create something that represented how he felt inside. At first, Choi San was skeptical, but as he began to paint, he found himself pouring all of his anger and sadness onto the canvas. The more he painted, the more cathartic the experience became.

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Will unraveling madness have 5 chapters or do you plan more? 😊

Maybe idk yet but after 5 I’ll think about posting more parts to the story

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Unraveling Madness: San’s Dark Secrets Pt. 1

Summary: You're a brilliant psychiatrist, but you were no stranger to internal conflicts. You had accepted the task of treating Choi San, the psychiatric ward's most dangerous patient due to his violent episodes. Despite skepticism from other staff members, you believed that beneath his destructive exterior lay a vulnerable human being, yearning for understanding and acceptance.

Genre: fluff

Trigger warning: childhood trauma

Teaser | Master list | Pt. 2

You arrived at the psychiatric ward, greeted by an eerie silence that felt heavy with secrets. The hallway stretched like a tunnel into an unknown realm, lined with closed doors hiding patients behind them. Each door represented a story of tormented souls trapped within their own minds. Your destination was Room 312. 

Your heart pounded in your chest as you entered the room, the dim lights casting sinister shadows across the sterile walls. You took a deep breath, steadying yourself against the palpable tension that hung heavy in the air. As you approached Choi San, sitting slouched in his chair, you couldn't help but notice the haunted look in his eyes—a reflection of the torment he endured.

"Choi San," you began softly, trying to maintain a calm demeanor despite the storm brewing inside you. "My name is y/n, and I'm here to help you."

He stared back at you, his gaze cold and unwavering. "Why should I trust you?" His voice was low, laced with bitterness. "Everyone else has failed me."

You paused before responding, weighing your words carefully. "Because I believe in you, Choi San. I see potential beneath the chaos, I can help you." you said with reassurance in your voice.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his voice barely audible as he replied, "Help me? No one can help me." You could sense the pain etched deeply into his psyche, and it tugged at your own heartstrings.

"I understand that things have been tough for you," you began gently, "but we're going to work together to make things better." Choi San stared blankly ahead, neither denying nor accepting your words. You decided to take a different approach—one that might open him up to sharing his experiences. "What's the first memory that comes to mind when you think about why you ended up here?"

A torrent of words burst forth from Choi San, his voice rising in desperation.

"I remember a night, so dark and cold, my hands trembling as I held the knife," he whispered, his voice cracking with emotion. "It was supposed to be a release, a way out of the pain I felt inside. But instead, something else took over me."

You listened intently, feeling the weight of his burden. "That 'something else'," you responded thoughtfully, "isn't just a product of your mind. It's a manifestation of all the hurt and anger bottled up inside you.

You reached out, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. He recoiled slightly, but allowed your touch to soothe him.

"It all spiraled out of control," he continued, "The voices grew louder, urging me to harm those who mocked me. I didn't mean to hurt anyone, but the whispers wouldn't stop." You listened intently, empathizing with his plight. "And now, everyone sees me as a danger," he lamented, his voice choked with emotion.

You removed your hand, leaning back in your chair. "Choi San, let's try something new today," you suggested, your tone soothing yet assertive.

In that moment, you realized that beneath his hardened exterior, Choi San was just a frightened young man longing for compassion and understanding. "It's okay," you murmured, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly. "We'll get through this together."

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Unraveling Madness: San's Dark Secrets

[Master list]

Pairing: psych patient|choi san x psychiatrist|reader

Summary: You're a brilliant psychiatrist, but you were no stranger to internal conflicts. You had accepted the task of treating Choi San, the psychiatric ward's most dangerous patient due to his violent episodes. Despite skepticism from other staff members, you believed that beneath his destructive exterior lay a vulnerable human being, yearning for understanding and acceptance.

Status: ongoing

Genre: Fluff

Trigger warning: childhood trauma, mentions of su1cide and death

Teaser

Master list

Part 1

Part 2:

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

More coming soon…

If you'd like to be on my tag list please let me know!

@skzline | @janetsarttrove | @vampzity | @xoxkii

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Unraveling Madness: San's Dark Secrets [Teaser]

No other psych ward wanted him until he was sent to the Horizon Psychiatric Hospital, the doctor gave you this case only because the other staff were too afraid of him. "Y/n you will be taking on the case of Choi San." said Dr. Jung as he gave you Choi San's files. You looked through them and was shocked, he's been to more than one hospital in less than a month.

" I'll do my best Dr. Jung" you said with an unsure look on your face.

You were a seasoned psychiatrist, but the prospect of meeting Choi San sent shivers down your spine. Despite your extensive experience, you knew that he would be the most challenging patient you had ever encountered. "Hello, Choi San," you said softly, taking a cautious step further into the room.

He turned around, his deep brown eyes scanning you up and down before locking into your gaze. "I've heard about you, Doctor," he muttered coldly, his voice laced with sarcasm.

The air crackled with tension, and you could feel the palpable unease that radiated off him like a tangible force. It was as if he was daring you to cross the invisible line that separated your worlds.