sarcasmdefenseex-blog - Tumblr blog

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🎅

“ Malia! Perfect timing,” Stiles greeted her when she walked in; his arms full with a pile of multi colored lights. “ We’re skipping all other holidays now. Merry-sort of-not yet- Christmas! I need help getting the lights untangled.” 

@facetiious 

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"You should hang out with me later. I'm gonna marathon a bunch of movies." -brokcnstilinski

Stiles threw a grin over his shoulder, turning his body all the way around. The day had been long. Too long. A movie marathon was just what they needed. “ Fine, but I get to pick the first movie. As the older sibling, it’s my birthright. Can’t argue with science, Mikey.”

@brokcnstilinski

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It's way too early for Christmas meme's wtf Stiles?

“ It’s never too early for Christmas! I’m skipping right over two holidays.” 

@scartissueex

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Only going to get to asks rn so- throws a munday pic out here

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Friends who get into trouble sentence starters

“I called someone to bail us out last time. It’s your turn.”

“We probably shouldn’t do this.”

“See you say it’ll be fine? But, something tells me it won’t be.”

“Okay, but they are gonna be so pissed when they see what we did to this place.”

“We probably shouldn’t have tried to surf on the mattress down the stairs..”

“I can’t believe we just prank called him/her. What are we like twelve?”

“Let’s just tell them that the dog did it.”

“I’m picking the lock. But, I just realized that I’m not a detective and this is a hair pin I found in my glovebox.”

“Do you think that alarm means that we’re caught?”

“I’ll fill the bucket with water and you distract him/her while I dump it on their head.”

“This is exactly what we need–a  night out. Let’s go crazy!!”

“Honestly, I think the car looks better after we crashed it.”

“I rang this guy/girls doorbell and ran away really fast??? And they found me.”

“Why is there a giant teddy bear wearing lingerie in my bath tub?”

“Oh my god, why is there an unconscious man/woman on the floor?!”

“We were supposed to be cooking. But, it looks like a murder occurred in here.”

“We broke the window. I think someone is going to notice.”

“I can’t believe we’re trying to climb through a window to get back a pair of your panties/underwear.”

“Shh, they’ll hear us. This is a terrible idea. You are lucky I love you.”

“That cop did not find it as funny as we did.”

“I told you not to hum the law and order theme song while we were being given a speeding ticket!!”

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Send 🎅 to find my muse getting ready for Christmas already

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(Positive Give Away) You're a amazing person like Muse and like Mun. I'm happy to follow you because you make my Tumblr experience better.

Thank you!!

@betaauxyeuxbleu

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@scartissueex

you are tho, can’t deny it

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halloween sentence starters

splattermemes :

Feel free to change pronouns or anything else !

at a haunted house

“This stuff’s for babies.”

“AAAAAHHHHH!”

“Hey, can we…go home? Not that I’m scared.”

“BOO!”

“Wait, are you actually scared?”

“FuCK NO–”

“That makeup is so realistic.”

“I paid $40 so I better die.”

alone

“You should hang out with me later. I’m gonna marathon a bunch of movies.”

“[text] Hey, it’s me. I heard banging noises and I’m terrified. Please save me.”

“Halloween?? With friends?? What friends?”

“[text] I just heard some weird noises. [text] No I’m being serious. [text] I need you ri”

“I’m probably just going to stay up all night so the ghosts don’t kill me.”

“I’ll just be chilling with the monsters under my bed.”

“Maybe I’ll summon a demon so I have someone to hang out with.”

“Do ghosts like Netflix?”

with kids

“Don’t eat all your candy at once!”

“Aw~ I love your costume.”

“And who are you?”

“Look, man. You can’t give toothbrushes to kids on Halloween.”

“Trick or treat!”

“Let me check those before you eat them.”

“UGH, why am I stuck with a bunch of babies?”

“I wish it was socially acceptable for me to trick or treat on my own, but it’s not, so.”

with friends

“We should egg his/her/their house.”

“Help me with my costume!”

“TIME TO GET SPOOKY.”

“Are you just going to wear a T-shirt that says ‘costume’ on it?”

“Should we be drinking this much?”

“The ouija board says you’re a little shit.”

“Let’s tell ghost stories.”

“Time to join the skeleton war, bitches.”

as a flirt

“You look so hot in that.”

“After being freaks, are we gonna get freaky?”

“[jumps into __’s arms out of fear]”

“Your outfit is scary…take it off.”

“I came in here expecting a trick, but you’re a real treat.”

“If I was in a scary movie, I’d want to be trapped with you.”

“You–uh–spooked…my heart.”

“I’d let you haunt me all night long.”

misc.

“Let’s carve a pumpkin!”

“I’d be a witch in another life.”

“I wonder if I still have that ouija board…”

“Do you believe in ghosts?”

“What costume are you wearing?”

“Let’s pull a prank.”

“I hate Halloween.”

“Can you tell me why you have an actual skeleton in your closet?”

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“When I see you, I can decide if I’m angry or aroused.”

“ I’m gonna go with both. Because that expression right there? Can’t pick just one.”

@effymccall

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❝ I bought three bags of Curly Fries the other day and ate them all thinking about you. Just thought you should know that. ❞

“ -And I just want you to know that you’re evil, down to the core, Stu. You could’ve shared at least one bag, asshat.”

@fracturedpneuma

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finally back, sorry for disappearing! I actually changed my url. I wanted something new

used to be: redhoodstile

now: sarcasmdefenseex

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@bansheeshrieks@staticsense@fracturedpneuma@alis-valot-propriis@coffeeenthusedmuses@scartissueex@beaconfated@facetiious@deathsdesiign@bittenrage

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deathsdesiign:

       “eh, debatable. i joke all the time, the dead don’t mind.” he waves it off, shrugging “but i guess it’s a legit question now that i think about it. you’re kind of the only thing with a soul in this building right now.” 

“ the-did you just the dead don’t mind?” he blinks, back tracking to make sure he heard the other right. “ me? what about you? you’re up and walking around. are you telling me you don’t have a soul?”

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For every @ I get, I have to tag someone I love/look up to!

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“When I see you, I ...” finish in my askbox .