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Sandor: This is your third time getting into trouble with the Council this year!

Sophie: yeah, so?

Sandor: It's the first of January!!!

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BAN ON CONVERSION PRACTICES IN THE EU. GO SIGN IT. DEADLINE IS FUCKING MAY 17. WE'RE STILL MISSING 800.000 signatures. FUCKING DO IT.

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Heh, liar

Pls don't kill me

fintan are you in love with bronte

no [kills you with fire]

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Sophie: ... and that's my plan

Keefe: ooh, I think there's something there

Mr Forkle, under his breath: yeah, a cease and desist letter from the council.

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My words have been mutilated beyond repair.

I think I now know how John Green felt after the infamous cock monologue.

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I know I haven't been posting as much, because I have recently become invested in a new original project. 😭. It has been taking over my life.

(and the things I've been doing with kotlc are not to be talked about.)

I'm probably going to post some of the art I've done for it on my art blog ( @ezracrow-art ) if you guys are interested.

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Thought I'd reblog this here since it's also fandom related :)

Crowley gives Lord Beelzebub a very thoughtful gift :)

This is a redraw of a little fan comic I made a couple months ago where Crowley, being the demon he is, has gifted Beelzebub a venus fly trap. I absolutely adore Good Omens and Beelzebub, although I don't support Neil Gaiman after the recent allegations.

Hope you guys enjoy! :)

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God dammit I know I wasn't tagged in this but still. Dude. I promise you, NO ONE should want me to write more of my current project.

If you're reading this...

go write three sentences on your current writing project.

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Dude my autism just rediscovered fnaf, so I'm preparing to spend the next week or so in pizzeria hell.

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A little Kenric x Oralie sketch I did a few weeks ago and forgot to post :)

I love them so much lol. One of the only straight ships I actually get excited over.

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"Yolo"

- Fintan Pyren after committing arson, killing a member of the government, and faking his own death

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OK YALL I HVE STARTED PLANNING OUT A FINTANTE WEEK

@fintante-week

its gonna be the 18-24 of may, so please spread the word!!!

i am currently thinking of prompts, so if anyone has any ideas, send them as an ask or dm to either my main (this account) or over to the fintante week account (linked above)

THANKS GUYS AND HAPPY FINTANTE-ING

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Oralie: in your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?

Bronte: hey Kenric, how tall are you?

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Sophie, confused about Elvin food after her first day in the lost cities:

Sophie: *pointing to a random, inedible tree* so how do you cook that?

Fitz: uhh... You don't?

Sophie: *now thoroughly confused* I'm supposed to eat it raw??

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hey so what was that

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They're going to find me they're going to find me they're going to find me and they're going to lock me up help help help

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And now, for The Literature

But first, some notes:

- in this list I will provide the links to the fics as well as a brief description + any content warnings.

- most of these are extremely NSFW, and I will mark them as such

- please bear in mind that some of these I absolutely DO NOT recommend, and that isn't a joke. I'm just compiling these for my (and possibly your) entertainment.

- most if not all are crackfics, but some are genuinely well written. Not all of them are on here for shock value, some just have a strange concept!

- I also haven't read the entirety of some of them, so I may have missed some things.

And now with that out of the way, on to the fics!!

My Immortal:

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/6829556/2

About: (this is not the original fic, just a re-upload!) for the few who don't know the infamy of this fic, it's basically a very poorly written goth Harry Potter au.

NSFW?: it tries to be

Do I recommend it?: it is an experience and that is all I will say.

Content warnings: cutting, mentions of suicide, pedophilia, extreme levels of cringe, goths/emos, my chemical romance

Drapple

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/7340362/1/Drapple

About: I think this one is also pretty well known. Draco Malfoy falls in love with an apple, hilarity ensues.

NSFW?: no

Do I recommend it?: yes

First Encounter

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/3096379/1/First-Encounter

About: another HP fic. The giant squid fucks the Hogwarts castle.

NSFW?: yes, definitely

Do I recommend it: uhhh maybe? If you're in the mood for something really random then yeah I guess. I wasn't too traumatized from it, so do with that what you will.

Content warnings: inanimate objects having sex

Kermit x the Joker

https://www.tumblr.com/the-muppet-joker/779647115628576768/are-you-ready-for-your-hormones-kermit?source=share

About: from Tumblr's very own Muppet Joker, we have a oneshot of kermit x the Joker.

NSFW: yes

Do I recommend: yes. Muppet smut.

Content warnings: Muppet smut

Knuckles Drinks a Pepsi

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12139556/1/Knuckles-Drinks-A-Pepsi

About: exactly what the title says but weirder

NSFW: nah

Do I recommend: yeah, the descriptions are... Interesting

Never Mind The Bollocks, it's Draco/Harry (Shake Your Groove Thing)

https://geoviki.livejournal.com/42826.html

About: a Drarry fic that tries to incorporate all the cliches of that ship and does so brilliantly. As a side note, I almost got a virus on my phone from clicking the wrong link while trying to find this fic.

NSFW: yeah... Not nearly as bad as some of the other stuff though.

Do I recommend: yes absolutely! Crackfic at its finest

The Milk Fic

https://www.wattpad.com/353617364-the-original-milk-fic-the-milk-fic

About: oh god do I have to? A Ryden fic with a milk enema. One of the most disturbing things I have ever read. I couldn't even make it through the whole fic.

NSFW: YES

Do I recommend: no

Content warnings: just don't, it's disturbing

The Ballad of Elmer Fudd and Grilled Cheese

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/6963740/1/The-Ballad-of-Elmer-Fudd-and-Grilled-Cheese

About: once again, exactly what it sounds like from the title.

NSFW: yes

Do I recommend: if you're looking through this list I assume you want something weird, so I guess?

Content warnings: grilled cheese being violated, grilled cheese kink, written like how Elmer Fudd talks

Waiting for You to Start

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63223780

About: a disturbing Duolingo owl fic.

NSFW: no

Do I recommend: yeah.

Content warnings: Duolingo, stalking, threatening nature, did you do your Spanish lesson today?

Destibagel

https://archive.transformativeworks.org/works/1747241/chapters/3732644

About: Destiel bagel au. I believe it's pretty well known.

NSFW: yes

Do I recommend: in terms of weirdness without being super traumatic, yes.

Content warnings: bagels fucking, destiel

The Sussy Banana

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44358337

About: the pink among us x bob the minion.

NSFW: yes

Do I recommend: yeah?

Content warnings: violence, minion speak

Dazai x cake pop!!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49315693?view_adult=true

About: once again, what the title says

NSFW: yes

Do I recommend: to be completely honest I don't recommend most of these, but this is pretty short.

Content warnings: food fucking

I Just Wanna

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34500007?view_adult=true

About: Draco Malfoy x Elmo. It is just as weird as it sounds.

NSFW: yes

Do I recommend: it is an experience

Content warnings: puppet fucking, weird anatomy, Elmo

My Brother in Christ

https://archiveofourown.org/works/39030420

About: Jesus Christ x Larry the cucumber.

NSFW: yes

Do I recommend: *sighs*

Content warnings: Bible fanfic, character death

Make America Green Again

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5870761/chapters/13531180#workskin

About: Trump x Shrek

NSFW: yes

Do I recommend: yeah kinda

Content warnings: Donald Trump

Made a Deal Without Looking at the Fine Print

https://archiveofourown.org/series/819081

About: (a series of oneshots.) a girl made a deal with Satan and they become friends. Nothing strange about it except for the concept.

NSFW: no

Do I recommend: yes! It's actually really cute.

A Different Love

https://www.wattpad.com/902143775-a-different-love-mafia-elmo-x-reader-chappy-one

About: Elmo x reader, mafia au.

NSFW: I don't think so? I mean, I still wouldn't show it at my workplace though.

Do I recommend: it's fine. Not the weirdest but still kinda funny

Content warnings: mafia, cheating, murder

Duo x reader mafia au

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50212570/chapters/126817546

About: the title says it all. But also there is Sans and Harry Styles.

NSFW: yes

Do I recommend: yeah honestly it's weird as fuck

Content warnings: Duolingo, mafia, Harry styles

la petite mort

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23236681

About: Barbie x Dracula. A crackfic taken very seriously and done very well.

NSFW: nah

Do I recommend: absolutely yes

Content warnings: blood drinking, character death, emotional impact from a crackfic

Wonkula: a Willy Wonka x Count Chocula Romance

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/14333675/1

About: once again, what the title says. This one is complicated because some of it is kinda racist? But the other stuff had me literally crying with laughter?

NSFW: yes very

Do I recommend: like I mentioned above, it's complicated. It's done very well but some things are really icky.

Content warnings: racism, underage bride, you will never be able to see chocolate the same way again, also your childhood will be ruined

Just the Way I'm Not

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2208000/chapters/4839126

About: a wannabe My Immortal, but with lord of the rings as well. High school au

NSFW: more so than my immortal

Do I recommend: maybe?

Content warnings: teenage pregnancy, cringe, many many many misspellings

That's all for now, but don't worry! I will be back with more, mark my words.

An Announcement:

I have made it my new mission to compile a list of the strangest and/or most cursed fanfictions known to humanity. (The list is already well under way, and I will post it once I have a sufficient amount, although I will be adding to it even after that.) If anyone has any suggestions, PLEASE send them to me (i am a glutton for punishment) and I will review and add them to my master list.

(if, at any point, you hear sounds of screaming, crying, throwing up and manic laughter, don't worry, that is just the madness descending upon me.)