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sc0w0ps · 8 months ago
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NCT Jaehyun: Before You Go
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Characters: NCT Jaehyun, Y/N Premise: (angst) Jaehyun and Y/N's relationship becomes a precious memory. Song Choice: 'Soft Spot (acoustic ver.)' by Keshi / 'La La Lost You (acoustic ver.)' by NIKI Word Count: 1.4k
The sky was dimming, casting a muted light over the park as you waited on that familiar bench. And then, you felt it—a gentle tap on your shoulder, a sensation that made your heart thud just as it used to. You knew it was Jaehyun even before turning, but you couldn’t help glancing away, letting yourself savour that thrill a moment longer. When you finally looked at him, he had that same mischievous grin you remembered, handing you your favourite can of coffee with a smirk. "I still remember," he said, his voice soft but teasing.
“And I still remember you owe me a few sodas,” you shot back, rolling your eyes with a laugh that was both familiar and painfully nostalgic.
“Jinx,” he joked, his gaze softening as he watched you take a sip. “But I guess caffeine suits you better these days, huh?”
"Thanks. It’s been... a week." You exhaled, surprised at how quickly he could get you to relax after such a long day, such a long year. His presence felt grounding, but it also reminded you of everything that had shifted since high school, how easily time could drift two people apart. You both began attending different universities, then he dropped out and began living life vicariously. With differing lifestyles, the distance was overshadowed what was left of the relationship.
He listened with his usual attentiveness as you filled him in on work, nodding, his arm resting just behind you. “It must be exhausting, juggling all of that, dealing with hundreds of people."
“It is. Sometimes it feels like that’s all there is—work.” You felt an edge of bitterness creeping in, and you swallowed it down, looking away from his gaze. "But enough about me. What about you?"
For a moment, his face turned distant. "I actually start my master’s program soon," he said quietly, watching your reaction.
The words stung. You had been there with him for every past milestone— high school graduation, entrance exams, the small triumphs. But this one, you had missed. “You graduated?” you forced a smile, even though his words left a hollowness in your chest. "That’s... amazing, Jaehyun. Really.”
He looked away with an unreadable expression. “Yeah, I thought about inviting you, but I didn’t want to add to your stress.” His words were light, but his eyes betrayed a sadness you hadn’t expected. The distance between you both, built by missed messages, missed moments, felt so palpable now.
A few people passed by—couples with their fingers interlocked, laughing, some with families in tow. You felt a pang of longing, a fleeting wish that this—being next to Jaehyun, sipping coffee and watching life move around you—could be a regular scene in your life.
Then, with a deep breath, Jaehyun’s tone changed, and his words tightened around you. “Actually… my family and I are moving overseas tonight.” His voice faltered, eyes searching yours as if waiting for a reaction.
You froze. Tonight. That was why he’d come, why he’d suddenly asked to meet for a bit. You swallowed, masking the ache in your chest. “So this... this is goodbye?”
He nodded, and the heaviness between you grew. “Yeah,” he murmured, his gaze steady on you. “I wanted to tell you in person. I wasn’t sure when I’d have the chance again.”
A chill settled over the park, though you weren’t sure if it was the night air or his words that left you cold. You could hear the edge of regret in his voice, but he kept his expression stoic, betraying nothing.
He continued, barely above a whisper. “You know, sometimes I wonder…” He hesitated, but something in his expression softened, like he was finally shedding the armour he’d worn all evening. “Maybe it was right people, wrong time?”
You let out a strained laugh, trying to keep your composure. “Right people, wrong time... wrong people, right time,” you murmured, feeling the weight of each word. “In the end, it’s still not right. A positive and a negative is still a negative.”
He chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the familiar mathematical metaphor. “Still the clever girl I remember,” he murmured, a hint of tenderness in his gaze. But this time, there was a faint hint of something affectionate behind it, something he hadn’t let you see before. “You haven’t changed.”
You both lapsed into a comfortable silence, exchanging quiet smiles and laughter, sidestepping the truths you both felt but couldn’t voice. You wanted to reach for his hand, to tell him to stay, but the rational part of you held back. And you knew he felt the same.
Finally, the minutes ticked down, and the time came. He gave you a wistful smile, a small bow, and whispered, “Thank you for today. For everything. You know, I’ve always had a soft spot for you.”
You felt your throat tighten, the words you’d been holding back bubbling up despite yourself. “I’ve always rooted for you. I always will.”
He swallowed, his gaze lingering on you with a rare softness. “And I’ll be waiting, Y/N. Always.” His voice cracked, and you watched as he walked away, his figure becoming smaller and smaller until it disappeared from view.
In another life, he would have waited outside your office to walk you home, folding laundry with you and picking out old movies to watch together. The two of you could have built a world of shared routines, small comforts, and promises fulfilled. But life hadn’t granted you that.
You bit down on your lip, struggling to hold back the tears that blurred your vision. It was so tempting to call him back, to shout after him and confess everything you had kept hidden. But what good would it do now?
Just as you looked up, you saw his silhouette pause in the distance. Jaehyun turned, meeting your gaze across the park, and lifted his hand in one last, tender wave. You mirrored it, offering him the only goodbye you had the strength to give, letting him slip away.
As Jaehyun’s silhouette dissolved into the sea of strangers, a bittersweet ache settled deep within you, as if he had taken a piece of your heart with him. In your mind, you conjured visions of what might have been if life had let you be together. In that alternate world, he would be waiting for you each evening after work, pulling you close, his presence softening the edges of a hard day. You’d find joy in the mundane—sifting through grocery aisles for late-night snacks, folding shared laundry, laughing together at the smallest things, feeling like the world had condensed to just the two of you. There would be no more barriers, no more missed opportunities. Just you and him, growing together, moving through life more than friends, as partners, as confidants.
But you blinked, and the fantasy dissipated, leaving you alone in the park with nothing but an empty coffee can and the ache of reality. A final gust of wind swept through the park, rustling the leaves and sending a shiver down your spine. The air was sharper, colder. You wrapped your arms around yourself, feeling the chill set in as the truth settled: he was gone, and no wishful thinking could change that.
Maybe that was the cruel irony of life—the endless “what-ifs” weighed down by the relentless “what is.” You could keep dreaming of a world where everything aligned, but the truth was that you were standing here alone, watching the shadows of those dreams pass like the fleeting clouds above. Jaehyun was a chapter that had closed, yet it felt like the book had ended too soon. And yet, what could you do but keep walking forward, carrying his memory like a quiet echo?
You hugged yourself tighter and began taking your leave, feeling both the weight and warmth of a love that had never truly come to fruition. Maybe, in another life, the pieces would fit. But for now, you would keep the memory of Jaehyun tucked away, the cherished fragment of who you once were, the relics of your first love, and the reminder of a romance that might have been. You are where you need to be.
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