scarararo

[scarararo]

masterlist

bluelock rin itoshi - luctatio

aot levi- late nights with levi

jjk yuji- you outshine everything, even the sun at it’s zenith

tr

[scarararo]

itadori yuji | you outshine everything, even the sun at its zenith

jjk fluff , wc : 920

————————————————————————-

itadori yuji never really believed in the fact that fate was set in place. it could always be changed, and that if he worked hard enough, he would change something; anything. which was why he worked so hard at jujutsu high, working tirelessly to learn and grow his knowledge to save others. he who smiled like the world hadn't crushed him yet, he who smiled like his life wasn't a whirlwind ; as if one moment he was a typical high schooler, and the next he was fighting curses.

after all, he wanted to die an honourable death.

which was why he had always believed that his life was too short for something as fragile and delicate as love.

this belief tried to root it's way into itadoris heart, and it did; but that was until you came.

you, who changed how he thought, and how he wanted to grow.

it all begun when u joined shortly after he did, with both of you shadowing maki and yuta in their missions. he admired your courage, the way you flinched when you saw a curse, yet stood your ground and held your weapon high to fight.

more significantly, the more he got to know you, the harder he fell.

you stood by his side, through mission and mission, time and time again. despite the fact that it seemed like the world was trying to break him apart, you were like the glue that held him together- you made him feel like he could still hang on.

it was the little things that you did, which awed him every time.

little things like how you would save the last piece of food for him during dinnertime even though you pretended like you didn’t - and that you were just “full”. little things like how you would always put a blanket on him when he would fall asleep in the dining room. little things that seemed so insignificant, yet they spoke volumes. little banters, late talks at night, studying together, and looking out for each other - he felt complete when he was with you.

————————————————————————-

“yuji, you have to be more careful, you can’t keep going so far out during battle - it’s almost as if you want to get eaten by a curse or something..” you huffed, dabbing antiseptic on his fresh wound after a battle you both had that evening.

“sure, you’re one to talk,” he retorted smugly. “if you hadn’t been so persistent on standing beside me instead of behind me, i would have demolished them in the blink of an eye!” he joked, chuckling to himself.

yuji worried about you. always wanting to protect you from the formidable world of curses that he knew all too well, wanting you to stand behind him so he would be at ease. he couldn’t physically bear to see you get hurt.

you rolled your eyes in response. “i’m not the one who throws myself into battles all day, every day. but i know someone who does…” you snap, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“i can handle it if i get hurt, but you…” he muttered, avoiding your gaze. you saw hesitation in his eyes before he spoke again, gripping his knee before his voiced dropped to something raw and vulnerable. “i don’t want to see you get hurt, i can’t bear to see it..” he trailed off.

silence hung in the air for a few seconds. it stretched between the two of you, unspoken and unbroken. the tension wasn’t thick, nor awkward. it was comforting, it was one that was filled with mutual care, warmth, and love.

you placed the bandages down slowly, looking at him with eyes full of love, placing your hands onto his. he lifted his head, finally meeting your gaze.

“i feel the same way, yuji. whenever i see you return with a new cut or scrape- or something even worse than that, something in me aches.” you begun, rubbing your thumb against his.

“but we can’t protect each other from everything. all we can do is fight for our lives, and live for each other. i want to see our future yuji…” you replied softly, tender voice comforting him like a warm hug.

you squeezed his hands, interlocking fingers with him. “if we live to see each other, thats more than enough for me” you smiled, gently easing the tension in the room.

yuji was never good with these types of flowery, romantic scenarios that seemed so strange and foreign to him. he knew that he shouldn’t promise someone a future, even if he wanted to - because forever was never a guaranteed for him.

however, under the dim light of the medical room, his heart echoed one thing and one thing only, and this, he was sure of.

“i love you, y/n.” he whispered.

your lips parted slightly, surprised that those words came out of his mouth, but then you smiled as you let out a chuckle.

“yuji, you outshine everything, even the sun at it’s zenith”, you said, voice like a gentle sigh.

no one had ever said something like that to him before, no one had ever looked at him the way you did, saw him above fighting, above the curse he had been burdened with, above his inescapable fate.

maybe fate had taken too much from him, but amidst the gentle luminesce from the soft lights, he thought to himself, maybe, just maybe, just this once, it had given him something too.

[scarararo]

luctatio // blue lock itoshi rin

luctatio - an effort; a struggle

angst! where rin leaves reader for blue lock

wc: 2066 words

you and rin were childhood friends.

both of you had never spent much of your lives apart from each other; you grew up side by side, matured together, and experienced practically everything together- including your first love.

there was no way he didnt like you. everyone could tell at first sight that he was head over heels when it came to you. no, this isnt a case of unrequited love. you did indeed love him back, so much that you would go to unworldly extends to see him smile. and by that, you truly you meant anything.

the progression of your relationship, the bond you both had from the start, the moment you both realised that you were meant to be ; never had the connection faltered. it had never made you doubt the fact that he was your undeniable significant other, your missing piece.

you would give the world up for him. he would give the world up for you. but of course, whats life without the brutality of it? well, after all, the universe did give up on the both of you.

————————————————————————-

you stood up from the couch upon hearing the doorbell of your house ring with a simultaneous notification from your phone that a parcel had arrived.

“rin!” you call, hoping that he heard you despite the earbuds in his ears.

“hm?” he responded, peeking out from behind the doorframe of the guest room in your family home (it was practically his room, considering how often he would come over)

“come here,” you gestured excitedly, patting the seat beside you, signalling for him to take a seat.

he ambled over with the smile you know all too well, quickly inquiring, “whats up?”

upon sitting down, you eagerly questioned, “rinnie, what’s different about me today?” , a smile on your face.

“you smell different,” he replied quickly, as if it was his second instinct.

beaming, you smiled happily, validating his response with an enthusiastic nod, as you begun to blabber on about your new perfume that you just received, and how you got it for a good price. this went on, with rin by your side, looking at you with eyes full of love. he watched you maunder, looking at you like you had hung the sky in the stars- you had been there for him through everything, and he was bounded by a love that felt unbreakable.

he knows you best, and you know him best. maybe it was his sharp eye, but he could always tell when you were different - even down to the way you lugged your soft toy around your house.

there was once ; you hark back to the time he realised you were carrying the bear plushie (which you named hazel, and proclaimed was your child) by it’s arm instead of its usual neck. when rin noticed, he asked about it, but it wasn’t until his 5th attempt that you spilt the beans. you hadn’t noticed that there was a hole at the side of hazel’s body, and she had lost too much stuffing for her to be comfortable to hold by the neck any further, which was why you begrudgingly and unwillingly switched to lugging her by her arm.

and to that, rin simply nodded in response, acknowledging it and quickly returned to watching the soccer match on television.

the very next day, it was to your surprise that when you came home from after school activities, and on your bed laid hazel; slightly unshapely stuffed with a flower patch sewed messily on top the hole that once gushed out all of hazel’s stuffings.

gasping, you giggled to yourself upon seeing the note that was left beside hazel. it read in rin’s uniform handwriting , “i tried my best. i learnt it last night so it’s lukewarm at most. i hope it’s to your liking. let me know if i can do better, i’m off to practice. see you tonight”

despite the cold weather outside, your heart felt and overwhelming warmth, one that wouldn’t be comparable to a hot chocolate on a cold winter night, or one that came from getting a scholarship- it was different. it was the taste of love.

the next day, you devised a plan to attack him with a flurry of thank you hugs.

its safe to say he wasn’t fazed, he called it, as he wld say. yet a smile crept up onto his face while you weren’t looking, expeditiously wiping it away before you could see it.

too bad he doesn’t know you felt his cheekbones rise, and you smirk to yourself, vowing to keep this a secret that he’ll never know.

————————————————————————-

years flew by, with this being the usual way of life for the both of you.

that was until rin hit the age of 16, when a letter appeared in the mail. a letter that came from the japanese football association.

that was the pinnacle, the twist- of your love life.

the love you both once knew, the once reassuring smile that you once knew, the once warmth that he provided: eventually all faded away, and in its place, stood a seemingly unforgiving, stoic, unrecognisable, cold figure of a man. not the man you knew, but a man.

————————————————————————-

the day and the week that he received the letter was clearly etched into your mind. across the span of that week, you had realised that he was slowly progressively getting more and more distant with you. he would go out daily, and you knew it wasn’t his daily runs or practices - they wouldn’t take that long. he had stopped updating you entirely, and the distance between you both grew.

he would go home later than usual, and woke up before the sun rose. you barely got the chance to see him; lest talk to him about it. furthermore, the text messages you sent were all reciprocated with dry, uninterested replies.

on one hand you wanted to push and ask him for it, or maybe his brother for a valid explanation for rin’s actions. however, this time, it was something different. you know it. it wasn’t something resolvable through a talk, otherwise, rin would have talked it out long ago. the sensation and emotions that resided were too foreign; you were perplexed - unsure of your next step, and hence you decided to wait it out. invariably, time will heal all, won’t it?

————————————————————————-

eventually the talk did come around.

rin asked you to meet at a cafe that you both often, and upon seeing him, your felt your heartstrings tighten, almost about to snap- like a fraying string under pressure. he was dressed in his usual clothes, the sweater you love on the man you love.

he nodded at you, signalling for you to take a seat. he had ordered you a cup of your comfort drink, awaiting on the circular table.

he heaved a sigh, a sigh you knew carried so much weight, and so much regret, guilt, frustration and resolve. you were already aware of the letter he had received, and he decided not to beat around the bush. taking a sip of his drink, he begun.

“blue lock…it isn’t just a normal camp.”, his gentle gaze that once dawned upon you, was now replaced by one that could pierce through rock. “it’s a battlefield; survival of the fittest. it’s where we have to prove ourselves- to shine out above the rest and destroy them, and if you get distracted for just a second, there will be no excuses, no second chances. i-”

he paused. each sentence he said out was equivalent to glass shards being stabbed into his heart- it felt like it was bleeding. his jaw taut and tight, he swallowed the lump in his throat, persisting on to finish his sentence. “it’s where i have to be to reach the top. you know the relationship my brother and i have better than anyone else….it’s…inevitable. if i don’t do this, i’ll never be enough- not for myself, and not for anyone…” his voice crescendoed to a silence, awaiting your response.

he could hear his heartbeat in his ears, seeing you in such a state of hurt, he wished, so hard, how he could just swallow all his words back in.

after a few seconds of profound silence which felt like minutes, rin cleared his throat in attempt to break the stale silence.

meanwhile,you held back your tears that were threatening to spew out, your nails digging into your skin in attempt to control your tears. you press your lips together to prevent them from quivering. you weren’t selfish; you thought to yourself. you were worried you would say something that would hurt him more, you wanted to protect you both.

you felt like you couldn’t comprehend whatever he was saying, it felt like a nightmare you once had, that manifested itself in reality. the weight of his sentences felt like they were wringing your heart out like a wet cloth, leaving you crushed. your stomach coiled in on yourself, the tension thick and awkward.

“you’re really leaving?” you muster out, voice shaky and in denial. “why does blue lock mean leaving everything behind…even me?”

your words softened his heart, you could tell from his expression, tightness in his eyebrows rose in surrender, yet his demeanour remained indifferent. with the ice in his heart evident, he retorted coldly, “i’m not in a place to give you all of myself- my goal doesn’t leave room for anyone else. not even you.”

silence on your end spurred him to try justify his actions even further, despite the air getting ostensibly thicker and harder to inhale.

“blue lock is everything i’ve worked for. everything ive built myself to be, and-”

at that moment, your heart broke, all of your self restraint to try to be selfless and think for him shattered. your morals clashing headfirst with your desires. you longed for him, and you were willing to fight for him, protecting the fire that once shone strongly between the two of you; now reduced to smouldering ash. the words you said next tumbled out of your mouth, with no prior thinking.

“and me?” you pressed, different emotions overwhelming you like a wave. you leaned in closer, tears streaming down like waterfalls. “are we not worth fighting for? it hurts rin…it really hurts..”

rin gritted his teeth, tears pricking the corners of his eyes, “it hurts me too - and i know it’ll hurt me more knowing that i can’t be by your side…” he trailed off, “i know my brother would do the same in this situation, he-”

before he could finish his sentence, the air around you turned sharped to inhale, and his words reverberated in your head like an echo chamber. you knew that this was everything rin had worked for ,you’ve seen him grow and strive towards that goal for years now, you knew how much it mattered. your head pulsed, thoughts at war with each other, as a dull ache bloomed, the sheer weight of your spiralling thoughts pressing against your head cavity- unrelenting and overwhelming.

however, in the deep recesses of your aching heart, you knew one thing; and that was that you would respect rin’s decision, even if it means hurting yourself- even if it meant going against everything you’ve wished for for the future.

“fine then go,” you mustered, voice trembling and afraid, yet with a strong, stable note of finality. each word quivering with agony you were trying so hard to suppress.

“go ahead and leave me behind. leave us behind. leave everything you’ve ever known behind. i hope it’s worth it rin, i hope blue lock gives you what you want, because i won’t, and i can’t be here to cheer you on like how i used to.” swallowing hard, you continued, clenching your fist so hard, your nails dug crescents into your palms. yet, you were determined to get what you wanted to say out of you, before you couldn’t hold back your tears anymore.

“i wish you all the best, rin.”, your voice cracked on the last word, your mind running wild with emotions and thoughts that were jumbled, incomprehensible. you wanted to say more, your heart yearned to say more, but the lump in your throat stopped you.

the note of finality hung in the air, vulnerable and raw, with two fractured souls so far yet so close, leaving both your chests hollow and empty, as if a part of you had been ripped out, and shredded into pieces, forever unable to be reannealed.

————————————————————————-

through your tear tainted vision, you could feel rin’s gaze on you, his usual sharp glare tainted by something he refused to let himself acknowledge. he nodded, “thank you, y/n, for everything.”, his voice was low, hesitant even. he was afraid to say more, he couldn’t trust his heart to hold it’s ground.

he gets up from the table, the chair screeching against the floor, as he grabbed his coat and his duffel. tearing his gaze away from you, he turned around, as though each of his heartstrings snapped one by one with each step he took away from you. away from the life he was leaving behind. he didn’t turn back- not even once, because he knew, that if he did, he would falter, and his heart would waver at the sight of you in tears.

rin walked away, seemingly indifferent to your cries. he stepped out of the cafe door, into the world of blue lock, his heart burning with every step; yet his resolve burned hotter. he knew how much he had to sacrifice for this dream- it was his destined path, even if he knew he had to walk it alone.

as he left you in the cafe, obsolete and numb, feeling all different kinds of emotions you couldn’t quite put into words, you buried your face impossibly further into your palms, as you glanced at the seat he was in moments before. reality sunk in, he was gone - really gone, and you knew, that no amount of wishing would ever bring him back to you.

that was it.

this was it.

he was gone.

at the end of the day, you both knew, a shared past wouldn’t mean a shared future. it was simply a fragment of the past, a chance of fate that you both met, that this would be and had to be the way life went. your fate was determined from the start, there was no hope, no point in fighting for the both of you.

you were the sun while he was the moon. both close enough to reside in the same sky, yet following such different paths. however, once in a blue moon, just once; both of you had aligned in sync, before nature had to pull you both apart, leaving you both only with the shared memories you both had. the fleeting times of the youth.

[scarararo]

late nights with levi ackerman 🌙

the subtle aura of the moon, with the twinkling of the stars and the quiet of the night; it was a common scene for both you and levi. in the comfort of your shared home, one that you both had once longed and yearned for, with the same unbreakable love that once bound the two of you. even though years have passed since the attack of the titans, leaving levi permanently injured -yet you stuck with him through it all, offering your shoulder and your presence whenever he needed someone to alleviate his burdens.

the effects of the rumbling never really died down, and the both of you still carried the ubiquitous burden of the regrets of the unrelentingly deaths of both your comrades and the titans.

staring at the moon that shone ever more so brightly whenever levi was beside you, you let out a sigh, a sigh that you believed for a second, could take away all the burdens you both carry.

“do you ever feel like its too much for you to handle? the burden and all…” you mumble softly, voice barely above a whisper, close to to being covered by the subtle hum of the night.

levi slowly turns his head to the side, ruminating for some time before smiling to himself, “mhmm, but when youre with me, i feel like i can reach anything, even the stars up there”

his hand brushes against yours, and he doesnt let go. you watch the stars and the clouds floating around like little bubbles in the night sky, while he watches you, seemingly as if youve hung the stars in the night sky, all just for him.

after all, in the tranquil peace of the night, in his heart, it was just the both of you, right here, right now