scaryanneee

[scaryanneee]

Lavellan picrew and quiz 🖤

thanks for the tags @widowling @cursedhaglette and @solasisms!! feat. Siona Lavellan's official inquisition-era portrait hehe

i fear literally anyone i could tag in this has already been tagged so

[scaryanneee]

do you think instead of "devil's advocate" as a concept for the dalish, they call it something like "wolf's advocate"

[scaryanneee]

[scaryanneee]

nothing beside remains ch. 12 - reva

the joplin fic i’m cowriting with @cursedhaglette continues on [ao3]

[scaryanneee]

says a lot about a character when there's a whole entire subgenre of fics about him jerking off and then feeling Really Really bad about jerking off

[scaryanneee]

I bet they would’ve mocked him first rather than being surprised.

[scaryanneee]

beta notes for mia in this one included “i’ll kill you” and “you’ve killed me”

new chapter of nothing beside remains - the joplic fic project by @scaryanne and i! we're finally in real solavellan territory people *sets off the air raid sirens*

[scaryanneee]

Nothing Beside Remains - Chapter 10 - a new chapter is up for our project joplin fic project with @scaryanneee !!

what to do about that pesky dread wolf and his dastardly shenanigans! the inquisition gang gathers to discuss and plan their next moves and countermoves

[scaryanneee]

one of the most underrated but brilliant parts of cyberpunk that i have been admiring as i get close to the end of my second playthrough is how v's dissolution into johnny is so innocently integrated into the gameplay as a series of fun silly or mechanically powerful loot drops. on a gameplay level its a fun incentive to do side quests! look! you can get johnny's super powerful and sleek gun! how fun! you can get his unique custom paint job car! how cool! you can get a samurai replica jacket like the one v wore in the game's promotions! how silly! you can find his pants and shoes and glasses and look just like him! how sweet! he gives you his dog tags! you might not think twice about it as the player. it's just a bunch of cosmetic quest rewards, after all. but... in world? on a story level? what does it look like to vic? to misty? when v shows up for some cyberware upgrades driving johnny's car, in johnny's pants, in johnny's jacket, in johnny's glasses, in johnny's shoes, with johnny's gun at their hip and johnny's name around their neck? is that still v in there? do they even know what it looks like? do they even care? is that still v in there? is that still v in there? it seems like just a fun little easter egg but what does it look like to the people who are watching their friend dissolve into someone else in front of their eyes?

[scaryanneee]

imagine being asked to read this

anyway i think i got more followers since the last time i mentioned this! and it is one of the funniest parts of dai, to me. everyone needs to know about the temple(?) jail(?) where solas pretends to be illiterate

"indecipherable" yeah. i'm sure.

[scaryanneee]

adding a lil snippet from the aforementioned fic because this all stemmed from my OBSESSION with solas putting on a fancy little outfit to talk himself up hoping that word gets back to his crush

what a DORK

"i didnt need to try very hard to do a bad french accent" - GDL

anyways this definitely direct quote from tevinter nights features in the latest chapter of the joplin-inspired fic i'm co-writing with @cursedhaglette: nothing beside remains so. go read it hehe :)

[scaryanneee]

"i didnt need to try very hard to do a bad french accent" - GDL

anyways this definitely direct quote from tevinter nights features in the latest chapter of the joplin-inspired fic i'm co-writing with @cursedhaglette: nothing beside remains so. go read it hehe :)

[scaryanneee]

20 Questions, Writing edition

thanks @cursedhaglette and @elf-trash for tagging <3

How many works do you have on AO3? 15

What's your total AO3 word count? 254,244

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Think of Me

Midnight Chimes

One Last Crooked Night

Prodigal Son

Pretty Things (nice, btw. all you freaks out there. i see u.)

What fandoms do you write for? bg3 and dragon age. but hoping to add cyberpunk 2077 and expedition 33 to that list if i ever find the time hehe

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try to! But sometimes I fall behind so sorry if I ever don't! Alas I am a procrastinator in all things. But I absolutely read every single comment and they bring me immense joy <3

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? the answer to this is probably one of my wips which i have already written the ending to... but hmm should i say which one....hmm

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? im a happy ending enjoyer in general but lets say One Last Crooked Night

Do you get hate on fics? Very rarely and only because Siona Lavellan is too mean/has too many opinions about motherhood for some people

Do you write smut? Lol. Lmao, even

Do you write crossovers? No but I've thought about it! Like...somebody needs to put Solas into the world of Clair Obscur. Like he's literally a painter?! Hello!!

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes ugh one time someone just straight up copy/pasted Pretty Things and claimed it as their own

Have you ever had a fic translated? No but I'm open to it if anyone ever wants to!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Currently doing so with my most beloved @cursedhaglette, it's called Nothing Beside Remains and I'm so proud of all we've done so far so go read it!

What's your all-time favourite ship? Solavellan wahhhhh i love pain

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? way back in the day (2 years ago) I originally pictured Wildheart as a multichapter fic because I love hellspawn as a semi-rare pair.. but the wips are wayyyy too numerous for that at this point tbh

What are your writing strengths? Pain and smut and not in that order

What are your writing weaknesses? in my own estimation probably plot. like pacing, etc. because im an impatient bitch

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic? i've only ever done it with elven (lol) and that shit is hard idk that i have a shareable opinion beyond that

First fandom you wrote for? bg3 - because i, too, am baby

Favourite fic you've ever written? i love all my children equally (except for job) but i am especially proud of walk you to the shore i guess bc it feels like a culmination of a lot of the themes i've played around with in fics for a while but distilled into a one-shot

tagging @widowling @luzial @sandetigerrr and the rest of you have already been tagged in this for sure lol

[scaryanneee]

one thing i was thinking about with solas is: his actions, as compared to his actual stated goals, are often really unhinged and impulsive. and he's presumably self-aware enough to know that it's happening, and trying to compensate whenever he can?

like ok. going through his timeline, he's introduced when he kills felassan. given how he's not otherwise prone to killing people mid-explanation, and felassan is his Beloved Rebellion Era Bestie, i would assume it was a "i need to get this over with now, or i'll lose my nerve and not be able to do it at all" type of situation. but that's my personal headcanon on how to make it fit with his personality later, it may also have been a "the writers didn't actually decide on what his vibes were yet" situation.

regardless, he wakes up slightly before dai. his entire plan is: step one, don't waste time messing around and getting attached to cringe fail mortals like felassan did. step two, get the orb unlocked, tear the veil and reset everything.

after about a year, even before making friends with anyone, he's wandering off in the hinterlands to go help out refugees, for absolutely no benefit to him or his mission. step one of his plan has immediately failed! even on low approval, when he ends up perhaps not seeing them as real "people", he STILL does this.

then, he's presumably pining over a romanced lavellan for [some indeterminate amount of time]. bc by the time they make any attempt to kiss him, he's already on the "this person has changed my entire life and worldview" mindset, and impulsively starts making out with them. this dude is technically a millennia-old, seasoned military/insurgency/fade expert, in his home realm of the fade. he's been lying by omission 24/7 for the entire time he's been awake, caused the breach and corypheus to be a problem, and believes he's on a mission that has to be done to save the world, and that he'll have to eventually kill everyone that he's spoken to since waking up. and he got so blindsided by a overture of affection that he straight up forgot what he was supposed to be doing.

then, the wisdom spirit dies, and he has a strong enough grief-stricken reaction that he admits to almost quitting the entire inquisition. which is fine if he was actually just a normal apostate who got sad and wanted to leave! but as far as solas knows, leaving would mean giving up on getting his orb back, and thus... dooming the whole world. so even considering doing that indicates that his decision making is in Complete Shambles.

then, he kisses lavellan 1 (one) more time, and declares that he's fallen in love. with one of the cringe fail mortals that he did not see as people a year ago, and killed felassan for being too optimistic about. eventually, decides to tell them the truth, gets cold feet, then considers Giving Up On Everything just to be with them - again, risking dooming the whole world for this, as far as he knows, which is wild? he panics, corrects the lapse in judgement, dumps them halfway through his own explanation of the truth that he initiated, and then... still can't actually do the logical thing of just going "yeah it's over. i never cared. get over it," which would arguably be less confusing and painful for them. instead he keeps going "ough... you saw more than most... what we had WAS real 🥺" up to the last moment. which is also very cruel, from lavellan's perspective! and presumably solas is aware of how miserable this makes both of them, but is still unable to summon the willpower to just lie to cut things off more cleanly.

then, regardless of relationship, he goes out of his way to rescue the inquisitor from the anchor, and gives them an overview of his plans and lets them live. which makes sense, if it's a high approval/romanced inquisitor and he genuinely cares about them/thinks they can prove him wrong.

but, on a low approval, he's just... accepting a chance that they come back later and kill him? while he's on a mission that he thinks only he can do, and considers to be vital to the survival of his people? he killed felassan mid-sentence for mild disagreement, but is like "oh well... i'll just accept the risk of this annoying, barely-sapient chantry stooge assassinating me and stopping my plans 😌" a few years later? that's unhinged? whether it's out of guilt for lying, or just disliking his own plan and kind of wanting to be stopped, this is a BIZARRE thing to do when he believes the stakes are that high.

in conclusion, i think solas is technically a competent schemer, but at heart, he is very cringe fail. and that's important.

[scaryanneee]

morning coffee thoughts

i'm thinking about this narrative of bullying, and like i don't want to start a fight with OP or any of the people that are talking about this because that's not what i'm here for, i've been on this website since 2011 and i did my time in the trenches of horseblr tyvm. but i've been chewing on it because fandom history is rly interesting to me and it's fascinating to see watch how the historiography of how we talk about fandom events morphs with time and perspective.

just as like, a sidebar/tangent, i've been doxxed multiple times (for... i guess... being in the horse fandom...? lmao) and ik for a fact that it doesn't feel good. last time, i had to get my lawyer involved after i got doxxed on tumblr dot com and had multiple IRL people try to slap me with bogus lawsuits. and the time before that i was targeted for something I didn't even do, bc I interacted with a blog and a Big Name Blogger with like 10s of thousands of followers used an IP trace on me and sicced their followership on me. idk horse people are a special breed of insane, if you're not into horses, i suggest: don't. haha. but like... to some degree i'm sitting here like… i might suggest people grow a thicker skin if they want to be in these kinds of online spaces. but that's almost beside the point.

What I think is really funny about this is that these insistences of "don't bully" I'm seeing fundamentally do boil down to tone policing. like i don't condone doxxing, that's not acceptable, and ive said before that i don't see the point in going directly to the devs to tell them they fucked up, particular because a/ none of them work on dragon age anymore and b/ fandom is for FANS and this a FAN dialogue first and foremost, why drag the creators into this???

but "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" is golden rule of kindergarten levels of rationale that just prioritizes being nice and palatable over having, like, opinions, including negative ones. "bullying = saying things I don’t like," i guess; well and like, "saying things in a way that i dislike." bc i've been watching this latest Happening TM happen in real time and i have such a different perspective than some of the posts i've been seeing, where if the interaction one blogger had with the poll op was anything to go by, that blogger calmly and politely pointing out that the poll was biased was something OP was initially receptive to. that wasn't a targeted harassment campaign, that was people having a disagreement and discussing that, which is what discourse is supposed to be about.

and ikarons literally just said the same thing as the other blogger but with satire, so i'm forced to conclude that it's not the actual content, but the delivery. and the delivery was intentionally not starting a dialogue with the OP, it was intentionally a joke made on the blog without tagging anyone or even alluding to what the reference was. you had to know what was being referenced to understand it. so a bunch of people going "oh lol yeah i get it" is like. none of these people were even engaging with the OP. nobody was targeting OP. it wasn't ABOUT OP. It was about the content of the poll. that multiple people came to the same conclusion about the subjectivities is not indicative of some hateful discord cabal or whatever, sometimes people just disagree and sometimes more than one person disagrees.

and people are taking it personally because* ??? conflating output with self? idk something about consumerism/consumption ID and mirror reflection of production ID, wrapped up in respectability and civility politics that prioritize niceness, and when you violate this unspoken rule, you're being rude and uncouth. and if you're not abiding by these rules you're scum, your're cowardly, you're toxic, etc etc etc. this isn't inherent to the social contract!! you're holding people to a social contract that we're not even agreeing on!! and this is where i get lost with "fandom etiquette" personally because there's like, so many rules that are applied in spaces that are straight up just arbitrary and made up. it's one thing if there's like, a forum with a moderator team and the expectations are clearly laid out, but even that has a level of subjectivity.

(nb: i am given to understand the the poll OP has experienced harassment for several months leading up to this, but idk anything about that; i'm sure that is also influencing the reaction, but i worry that there's an inappropriate conflation and flattening of experiences happening where these experiences are all being lumped together under a very vague "fandom bad, do better" message that I don't think is particularly useful. I've already seen another flattening of experiences where people who use leftist analysis are conflated with someone who is utilizing it but is also a TERF, and i think there's something dangerous here about the knee-jerk dismissal of the rhetoric of TERFs as wholesale ignorant or stupid that underestimates them and their capacity for intelligence.)

but also.. i think the people have aligned with this anti-bullying narrative are themselves engaging in targeted harassment. and i'm not sure what that says about them off the cuff but I can't help but notice it and pause. like what's the goal here, ultimately, at the end of the day? us vs them in group/out group rhetoric? teaching some people a lesson? reconciliation but only with people who say and believe the right rights?

i also think i'm not on board with calling this kind of harassment bullying because I think bullying is very specifically related to, like, the kinds of power dynamics and harrassment that kids experience in school environments where they're trapped because of legal mandates. there's a term called "concept creep" re: the broadening of language/terms that sorta dilutes the impact and meaning of them. like the way people will talk about being gaslit, or narcissism, or the cycles of violence, or trauma bonding. or, ironically, fascism.

if you're into video essays but this lady kinda talks about it while specifically digging into how therapy speak has been co-opted -- https://youtu.be/_eB0cmzLe6k

anyway i gotta go to a six hour drive, but it's just. thoughts.

[scaryanneee]

in an awesome world we would have gotten a version of corypheus where his existential terror of inhabiting a godless universe being his primary motivation for trying to ascend to godhood was actually played up and utilized to draw a thematic link between him, the inquisitor, solas, and andraste. we could have had a game where faith and fear being two sides of the same coin was a major motif and not just vaguely relegated to that one quest with the spiders. we could have had a protagonist who just might have to grapple with their role in a religion that has historically been used as a tool for oppression and genocide and whether that can be reconciled with their own moral convictions. we could have had bisexual blackwall. it could have been awesome.

[scaryanneee]

What is the old Dalish curse? May the Dread Wolf take you. And so he did.