scottyfck

[scottyfck]

The next time I intend to make you laugh I'm gonna push a kid over in front of you.

Oh that one’s a classic. Gets me every time.

[scottyfck]

Really? I was expecting something like children falling over.

You’re right actually. Not a lot. No sense of humor.

[scottyfck]

Well what do you find funny then?

Puns are not humor.

[scottyfck]

You need a much better sense of humour.

Funny like the deaths of all your loved ones.

[scottyfck]

Excuse you, my jokes are funny.

I would rather you shoot me in the face than keep talking.

[scottyfck]

What does Batman like with his drink? Just ice. Get it? Like justice!

Do you want me to stab you?

[scottyfck]

A man walks into a bar and asks for helicopter flavoured chips. The bartender says "sorry, we've only got plain."

If you ever repeat that again I may have to stab something in the face.

[scottyfck]

Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.

[scottyfck]

Yeah, that sounds about right. My organ are probably dust. Shouldn't be long until my outsides are affected. Yeah, sounds fair. We officially have dibs. Yes, and it better be made out of solid gold or we're gonna have a problem.

 Where do you think you’re at now? Judging from how long we’ve been here, I’d say you’re at a solid 30%. But that’s hardly fair. What if it happens to me and I don’t make the transition either? I say it should be the Scott-Rhodes Memorial Building. They can erect a monument in our memories, too.

[scottyfck]

At least the floor that my room is on.

To do how much?

[scottyfck]

I have no idea but I guess we'll find out soon. If I don't make the transition, please call this the Jessica Scott Memorial Building.

That actually sounds terrifying. What would the 10% be? Would you have, like, a human head and a dust body? 

[scottyfck]

Hm, 40 dollars.

How much?

[scottyfck]

I'll pay you.

Then don’t. Even if we’re living here for the rest of our lives I’m not going to.

[scottyfck]

Right? I'm not really into this dark and gloomy atmosphere.

Eh, fair enough. I’m just ready to get into a cleaner, more…equipped living situation.

[scottyfck]

I've never heard of them, tell me more.

You know, there’s a thing called a ladder. Or a step stool. But no, those don’t help you reach higher places at all.

[scottyfck]

See, that's the thing - I don't want to.

You can do it if you want.

[scottyfck]

I wish we had a maid.

I don’t think anyone’s in the mood to clean.