scytheowo

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Bruce dropped him after this btw

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The funny thing about Batman is that despite his secrecy and isolation, he is always that dude with a place.

Need to discuss a mission? Batcave. Need to get your injuries treated? Batcave. Need a gadget or a plane? Batcave. Need a rare antidote to a poison created from a fish that only lives in Cambodian rivers? Batcave, somehow.

Bruce built the Waychtower because he was tired of the “so what’s the move?” question after every mission. The move is not the Batcave get out of my house—

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My favorite dark knight of steel family group hug

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Wonder Woman: I bet you gaslight people.

Batman: Gaslighting isn't a thing, you're crazy to think that it is a thing and everyone agrees.

Wonder Woman: Clark, tell your best friend-

Superman (reading It Ends With Us): Clark isn't in this conversation. He is in the middle of reading his book.

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god forbid a woman have hobbies

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Green Lantern discovered that Robin is the little shiny version of spooky.

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clark kent having to see bruce wayne’s stupid billboards like this in metropolis. send post.

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Gothamites are weirdly proud and protective of their hero so whenever they find out Batman is interested in someone (Clark Kent, another civilian, etc) that person gets special, haphazard protection in Gotham because no one wants to piss off the Bat. Kind of like a Mafia Boss’ wife or girlfriend.

Clark gets escorted through Gotham while there for a piece by two separate (opposing) gangs, an off-duty firefighter, and three old ladies who were “worried” about him being on the streets late at night (read: after 4 pm).

Sure, there’s still people who try to kidnap him. But most nearby Gothamites will be like hey! leave the kid alone, don’t you know who he is?

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Imagine a scenario where Bruce has trust funds set up for all his kids, but they’re not allowed to access them until they’re 30. He makes some long winded spiel about how it’s to teach them responsibility and let them grow on their own yadda yadda yadda, but rly it’s just because he hopes they’ll grow out of their reckless vigilante phases by then (pot meet kettle!) and they won’t spend all the money on gadgets for their night jobs.

And Dick is so convinced he doesn’t even need it. Tells them all he lived in the circus in a trailer the first eight years of his life, he doesn’t need Daddy’s money to survive and thrive.

Then he makes it all of a year in his shitty Blüdhaven apartment and by the time he’s 21 he’s begging Bruce, “Please just give me a cool million so I can buy a house. Please Bruce. Bruce, please. Nothing fancy, just a three bed two bath with a pool! Please Bruce I can’t afford these 6% interest rates I’m gonna have a mortgage the size of France!”

“Do you really need a pool?”

“Swimming laps is part of my training!” Dick argues. “And it’s good for your spine!”

Bruce, already on his phone to go into his banking app to transfer the money over to Dick, but still wanting to give him a hard time because Thats What Dad’s Do, “What happened to I don’t need your money, Bruce and I can live just fine on my own, Bruce and I don’t need you, Bruce? Also, you can just come up here to swim!”

“I need my own space or I will go completely bonkers, Bruce. Please. Please help. I love you, World’s Okay-est Dad. Don’t you love me?”

“That’s a cheap shot and you know it.”

Dick, smiling and batting his eyes.

“You better buy an actual house and not something stupid like an extra Batmobile.”

“What do I look like, Tim?” Dick scoffs. Then he realizes Bruce was joking and didn’t actually know Tim embezzled money from Bruce’s Batarang fund to buy himself and his friends their own Batmobile, and he skedaddles, saying, “Thanks Bruce love you bye!”

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Inspired by the one anon who asked abt fics where Dick turns out to be younger than people think he is and the recs that were given:

What if it’s like a scenario where Dick’s parents / the circus changed his age in documents so he could perform. And his age changed all the time on paper because different countries had different rules, even different cities/counties might not be the same as the one next to it. And so Dick sort of forgets how old he actually is most of the time, he just sticks with whatever his parents last told him.

And he was told he was eight when they were in Gotham. He was just short for his age because he’s a gymnast, that’s what they told anyone who questioned them.

In reality, Dick was five years old.

And by the time he remembered he should probably tell Bruce that, it’s already been too long. It’s several months after Bruce has taken him in, after he already has been Robin, and it just hits him one day that he’s going to be turning six in March. Bruce thinks he’s turning nine.

And Dick gets this horrible terrible no good idea in his head that if Bruce finds out he lied about his age, that Bruce will get rid of him. Won’t want him anymore. Will call him a dirty liar and kick him to the curb.

And Dick can’t lose his new home. He loves Bruce. He loves Alfred. And he loves being Robin. So he keeps it a secret and tries to forget that he’s three years younger than he’s supposed to be.

It’s a damn good thing Dick’s parents were rigorous in his schooling, and by some miracle he tests into the proper grade for his age when Bruce starts him at Gotham Academy. It’s a bumpy start, but it’s easily explained away by the slight language barrier. Dick actually speaks and reads English just fine, he learned it the same time he learned French and Romani and Arabic, but it’s a good excuse for why his penmanship is clumsy and why he starts out just slightly behind his peers.

He puts so much extra effort into his school work that by the time he’s supposed to be 13, it’s recommended he skip a grade. Bruce is so proud. Dick is somehow managing to get by as a ten year old in high school, and he cannot figure out how he’s pulling this shit off. Talk about being a showman, because it feels like he’s playing the world’s most impossible role.

But then something happens when Robin is on a team mission with the young justice season 1 team. Some magic shit. Maybe Klarion does something, maybe it’s like the episode where the adults get separated from the kids, but instead of it being everyone over 18 is separated from everyone under 18, it’s anyone who’s a teenager and up being separated from the kids who are all 12 and under.

And no one can figure out where Robin is. And also Captain Marvel is missing. What the fuck.

Bruce is fucking freaking out because he cannot figure out why Dick isn’t anywhere, why he can’t get ahold of him. He’s convinced Klarion must be holding him hostage or something.

And then you have Dick and Billy saving the day on their side, and Dick convinced him to try to transform into Captain Marvel. Billy doesn’t want to, because he doesn’t want to leave Robin alone if it makes him disappear to, but Dick assures him he’ll be fine, they’ll both be fine.

And then they come up with a plan yadda yadda the world is saved Dick and Billy save the day, the rest of the episode doesn’t matter.

But Batman pulls Robin aside immediately once they’re all back together and asks him what the hell just happened.

And Dick just starts crying. He’s so stressed out. This whole situation was so scary and he wasn’t actually all that confident the plans he’d made would work he only pretended to be so sure of himself so Billy could do his part and not be scared too. And also it’s really fucking stressful being a ten year old in high school. It’s very hard. Dick’s life is very difficult, and now his dad is finding out that he’s not as old as he’s been pretending to be, and everyone else is there and going to find out to, and he’s so overwhelmed.

“I didn’t mean to,” Dick says through full on sobs, and Bruce is so concerned and he’s hugging Dick and trying to calm him down, but Dick has gotten himself all worked up. “They changed my age all the time so I could perform, I’d be six in one city and eight in the next and seven in another and I just I forgot I wasn’t really any of those and then you adopted me and I forgot I wasn’t really eight until it was almost my birthday but it was too late to tell you and you would’ve been so mad and you wouldn’t have wanted me anymore and I didn’t know what to do!”

“Hey hey hey, slow down, slow down,” Bruce tells him, “take a deep breath. You need to breathe, Robin.”

But Dick just falls against Bruce’s shoulder and cries. He doesn’t want Bruce to think his parents were bad parents. Because they weren’t, they were the best. They just had to fudge some things so Dick could perform with them, so he could have fun up in the air with them, lots of people in the circus lie about their age!

“Oh, chum,” Bruce coos, resting his cheek on top of Dick’s head, rubbing his back. “I could never not want you. I love you, it doesn’t matter how old you are.”

“You do now!”

It makes Bruce’s heart shatter into pieces. Because Dick really thinks there was ever a time he didn’t have Bruce wrapped around his little finger, he doesn’t realize that Bruce has loved him from the first moment he wrapped the tiny little acrobat in his coat and carried him away from the puddle of blood he’d been kneeling in.

“I have always loved you,” he whispers. “And I always will. But chum, this is important. I need to know how old you really are.”

Dick sobs into his shoulder one more time before he lets out in a miserable whisper that everyone manages to hear, “Ten.”

And Batman damn near breaks. He lets out a shaky gasp, and his grip tightens on Robin as his knees buckle and he falls to the floor, now holding Robin tightly in his lap.

“You were five?” he asks. “Oh my God, you were five.”

Batman has a breakdown right then and there, but he keeps it very contained. He refuses to let go of Robin, just continues hugging him close and whispering that he loves him, he’s not mad at him, he would never ever get rid of him.

Idk what would happen after this but I know for certain Dick and Billy become bffs.

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The Batfamily is a bickering, dysfunctional family. Which is to say, they spend every day arguing with each other, fighting it out, making death threats, and dramatically going no-contact for weeks.

But if there’s an all-hands incident in Gotham? A galactic invasion? Family emergency? That stops instantly. They become the tightest, most competent, dedicated group of siblings/butler/parents you’ve ever seen.

And it’s terrifying to see.

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The fact that animals that care for their young will sometimes adopt others' lost or orphaned young to raise along their own is just funny to me. I know that it's all hormonal and there's no conscious thought involved in it, but the internal logic of it is so funny.

"Baby = success. More baby = more success. I have one baby and I found four other baby. I have five baby. I am being so fucking successful right now."

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The fact that animals that care for their young will sometimes adopt others' lost or orphaned young to raise along their own is just funny to me. I know that it's all hormonal and there's no conscious thought involved in it, but the internal logic of it is so funny.

"Baby = success. More baby = more success. I have one baby and I found four other baby. I have five baby. I am being so fucking successful right now."

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Random superbat hcs cause why not?

Bruce only tells horrible jokes and Clark finds them unironically hilarious even though everyone around them are cringing.

When bathing together Bruce insists on washing Clark’s hair for him (even though he probably doesn’t even need to) and will do it very agreeably and get soap in Clark’s eye by mistake every time.

They share clothes, even though Clark is a few inches taller and has a bit more weight on him because he is kryptonian, Bruce insists Clark wears his clothes, no matter how tight.

Clark also loves to see Bruce wearing his clothes, but it’s not seen as often. The time ur most likely to spot Bruce in Clark’s clothes is whenever he’s going to sleep or he is sick.

Clark absolutely LOVES the feeling of Bruce’s hands on him, both sexually and non sexually. He’s constantly moving Bruce’s hands into his and he melts every time Bruce will rub his hands over Clark’s back while cuddling.

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Superman says fuck ICE. Be like Superman

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“Dick Grayson is Bruce’s greatest accomplishment” “Nightwing is everything Batman can’t be” “Dick is the best of us”

And. AND. There’s so much of Bruce in Dick, so much of what he could have been without the trauma and self-imposed isolation, that when the JL talks about Nightwing being so good in contrast to Batman, they don’t always realize how much of that goodness is Bruce’s.

Dick stands on his own as a team leader and a kind man, but to say he built himself from the ground up would be a lie. Bruce filled in the cracks around an angry, traumatized child. He gave Dick what he didn’t have. His goodness lives on in Dick because it can’t always live on in him.

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@crowwkui 's butch Bruce Wayne 😋