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[sebgender]

meant to be , s.g

synopsis - the one where you're in love and satoru doesn't realize until it's too late.

pairings - satoru gojo x fem!reader

contents - ANGST!!! , gojo is an asshole and y/n is too sweet for her own good , mentions of injuries and blood , major character death , prob ooc gojo

w/c - 1.8k

a/n - I got lazy asf at the end and didn't know how to finish this and I just needed it out of my drafts lol. this is kinda buns but I hope you enjoy it anyways!!

masterlist .

There wasn't supposed to be any grade one curses on your mission. You were supposed to get in, exorcise the few grade three curses, and get out. 'You're strong, stronger than most, so why couldn't you beat them?' You thought to yourself as your back pressed into the concrete wall behind you. You had been sitting here for awhile, and the curses were long gone. You had beaten them up pretty badly, but you just weren't strong enough.

'Satoru could beat them, though. He's stronger than you ever will be.' Said that tiny voice in the back of your head, reminding you over and over again of your weakness.

You kept telling yourself that someone would come for you. Someone would realize you hadn't been at the school in awhile. Someone would come and find you. Maybe it was the false hope that was keeping you alive, maybe it was something else, you weren't sure. You were surprised you hadn't bled to death yet. It felt as if you had been staring aimlessly at the ground for days, yet it had probably only been an hour since the curses left you to die.

You felt a presence somewhere in the building and went to get up. Due to your weakened state you were unsure if it was a curse or another jujutsu sorcerer. You had one hand holding your bloody side, and another hand on the wall in a lousy attempt to get yourself off the cold ground. You cursed under your breath as you pushed yourself off the wall, forcing yourself to walk towards the suspicious presence. Your vision was blurry, you were bleeding from multiple places, and needless to say, you were going to need a new uniform if you even got out of here.

Your day was completely and utterly ruined. 'Not that it was going well in the first place.' You thought as you recalled the encounter you had with Satoru just a few hours prior to your mission.

"'Toru–" You happily began, but you were instantly cut off. "Don't call me that." Satoru irritatedly uttered as the two of you walked side by side through the halls. "Gosh, who pissed in your cereal?" You joked, letting out a small laugh as you purposely bumped shoulders with Gojo, making him give you an annoyed glance.

"Anyways, Satoru, I was wondering if you wanted to-" You began again, "No." He cut you off, quickening his pace. "I didn't even get to finish..?" You awkwardly said, your smile starting to disappear from your face. "Y/N, just leave me alone, I can't deal with you today." Satoru said, making you slow your steps. "What?" You frowned, "But we haven't talked all day?" You sadly uttered, bumping shoulders with him again, this time a bit softer.

He brushed you off his shoulder, "We don't have to talk every day." He said, obviously becoming irritated. "But we're best friends, why wouldn't we..?" You trailed off, confusion and sadness washing over you. When he didn't reply, you went to bump his shoulder again, but you were stopped by his infinity. "Why's your infinity on? You never have it up around me." Your frown deepened at the action. Did he really not want you around him that badly?

"I don't like you touching me Y/N, just go somewhere, I'm not in the mood for you right now." Satoru quietly said, "So you have to be in a certain mood to be a good friend?" You asked, growing more upset by the second, "You could just tell me that you're not feeling well and you don't want to talk right now, you don't have to be an asshole about it." You said, stopping in your tracks.

"I'm not feeling well and I don't want to talk to you right now." He said, his words laced with a mix of irritation and sarcasm. "Satoru if you don't want me around you just say that!" You said, making him abruptly turn to look at you. "I don't want you around me! Is it that hard to give me a little bit of space?! You're always right next to me, always bothering me to hang out with you!" Satoru snapped, "Well, did it ever occur to you that I don't want to hang out with you?! That I don't want to talk to you!?" He said, the hands that were once shoved into his pockets now balled up into fists.

Your lips parted in shock, and you stared at him for a few moments. "I didn't realize that was how you felt." You murmured, "I just-" Your voice cracked slightly, "Nevermind, 'm sorry I said anything." You apologized, attempting to blink back the tears that were forming in your eyes. Your shoulders lightly shook as you walked away, and you prayed he didn't notice your sobs. You didn't know why it hurt so much, it wasn't like it was the first time Satoru had said something along those lines to you.

You don't remember much after that, aside from the fact that you eyes still hurt from crying and Satoru didn't even try to make sure you were alright. On your way out you saw him playing around with Suguru and Shoko.

You let out a few more curse words before making your way towards the nearest wall. There was no use in checking out whatever or whoever had entered the building, you were going to die anyways. You knew your time would come eventually, but now? You're barely seventeen.

You leaned against the wall for a moment before giving in and sliding down the wall to the ground, your blood leaving a few marks along the way. You had barely felt any of your wounds due to shock, but now that the exhaustion was finally hitting you, your body started to hurt even worse than it had ten minutes ago. It wouldn't be long until you passed out from blood loss and finally met your end, you at least wish you could've gone out in a cool way.

You couldn't help the small cries you let out as you sat there, aching against a cold cement wall in an abandoned building. You're gonna die alone in some random, dirty building. You thought as your warm tears made their way down your battered cheeks. You heard the sound of rushed footsteps, and your immediate reaction was placing a hand over your mouth in a lousy attempt to quiet your sobs.

Your ears were ringing and everything around you was muffled, so you couldn't tell if what was approaching was far away or close to you. Your vision was blurred, and the tears only made it worse. In other words, you could barely see or hear a thing.

A hand abruptly grabbing your shoulder snapped you out of your own thoughts and triggered your fight or flight sense, aptly choosing fight. The hand that was once covering your mouth now clenched and pulled back into a weak fist. "It's me! Y/N, it's me!" A familiar voice said, making you slowly put your fist down.

You went back to your original position against the wall. Your eyes were droopy and you felt like you were going to fall asleep. "No– Y/N, stay awake!" The person said as they took your practically limp body into their arms. A hand reached to your face and began shakily wiping your tears, whispering curses under their breath as they cradled you.

"Satoru.." You mumbled, a weak smile appearing on your face. He perked up at your words, the hand that was wiping your tears now cupping your face. "Yes, it's me- Satoru, your Satoru!" Your Satoru. How you longed for those words to come out of his mouth for years. You know that's not what he means, though. You know he'll never be yours.

"Thought you didn't like me anymore, 'Toru..?" You weakly asked, tears still streaming down your face. "Fuck— I didn't mean that, you know I could never dislike you Y/N." He said, anxiety lacing his words. Your half-lidded eyes gazed at him with nothing but adoration, they always have. "I don't think 'm gonna make it, 'Toru." You tiredly said, offering him another weak grin.

"Don't say that! You can't leave," Satoru said, "You're important to me." A small frown appeared on his face as you let out a dry laugh. How could you be laughing at a time like this? "I don't get it," You began, "You've always said I'm important to you-" You cut yourself off with a cough, pain shooting throughout your entire body. "-But you always make me feel like 'm not worth your time." You said, blinking a few times to try and keep yourself awake.

"C'mon Y/N, none of that matters now," He said, his tone getting a bit louder, "Stop fucking talking and stay awake for me." Satoru pleaded, lightly tapping your face. If he could take back everything he ever did wrong to you, he would. "Satoru?" You asked, your voice cracked, the lump in your throat only growing with the pain in your body.

"I wanna go home, 'Toru." You cried, weakly gripping Satorus uniform. "You will go home. We jus' gotta wait for Kiyotaka to get here, 'nd we'll go home." He said before throwing his head back and biting his lip harshly, blinking back his tears.

Your side was throbbing, every other wound on your body was stinging. You looked sickly and if anybody saw you they'd assume you were a zombie. You and Satoru both knew that you couldn't live through this. "'Toru—" You began, a small hiccup erupting from your throat. "I love you, y'know that, right?" You uttered, licking your lips out of habit.

"I love you too," He admitted back, his cerulean eyes glossed over. "You're not allowed to die on me, Y/N." He frowned, his voice shaking and cracking every few words.

"I have one last request before I go–" You started, biting your lip when Satoru cut you off, "You're not leaving, don't say that!" He harshly said, his grip on your body tightening. "I'm weak, Satoru." You admit as you reach up to cup his face. He's not wearing those stupid glasses. You thought as you caressed his face gently, a smile appearing on your tear stained, battered face.

"Have I ever told you how pretty your eyes are, 'Toru?" You say, not failing to catch him off guard even in your last moments. He gives you a nod as he takes one of his hands and places it over your own. "Can you kiss me on the forehead? Like you always do?" You question as you blink away a few tears.

He places a gentle kiss on your forehead, his lips staying for a few moments, before hugging your body closer to him and tucking your head under his own. "Maybe in another life, I can be what you always wanted.." You mutter before closing your eyes. He could feel your body still, and finally let a couple tears run down his face.

It was never meant to be.

© AAJXS

[sebgender]

❝ 𝗔𝗙𝗙𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗧𝗘 — 𝗦𝗔𝗧𝗢𝗥𝗨 ❞

↷ note; thinking bout satoru being clingy after he had a hard day at work <3 just a lil domestic idea i had

↷ tags; gender neutral reader.

the smell of your boyfriend's favorite dish filled the room while you prepared dinner for him in the kitchen. satoru had told you that he would come home soon, though you quickly noticed that the tone of his texts was off. on normal days, he would send you a bunch of chats, telling you about how excited he was to see you again, followed by a couple emoticons and stickers.

this time, he hadn't texted you ever since the morning he left your shared apartment, however the moment he did it was late at night with a simple 'be back home soon'. being the strongest jujutsu sorcerer and a teacher at the same time must take a toll on his body and even though he tends to hide that fact with his cheerful personality, you know that the responsibility was slowly getting to him.

the click of the front door interrupted your train of thoughts and you immediately rushed over to greet the man you had been waiting for. satoru closed the entrance behind him— trying to push out a soft smile on his face once he saw the worry in your eyes. you followed his every move; from the way he hesitantly took off his glasses to the way his feet dragged across the floor to get to you, using all the strength he still had to do so.

the white haired man didn't waste any more time before wordlessly wrapping you into a tight hug, trying to hide his face into the crook of your neck as he swayed both of your bodies back and forth. he hummed in content once he felt your hands carefully stroke the back of his head— handling him with utmost care.

satoru had been craving for your presence and touch ever since he had to head off for work this morning. he truly felt bad about getting up from your comfortable embrace, leaving you all alone in the bedroom as you were still sound asleep. he could only hope that you weren't mad at him for not waking you up to inform you about his departure.

“ah, satoru, wait.” you muttered, realizing that his uniform was probably getting dirty due to the multiple ingredients that got on your apron. “your clothes will get dirty if we hug like this. let me go change—” your words were soon cut off as you suddenly felt satoru's lips on yours. his large hand cupped the side of your face, his thumb caressing your cheek slowly while his other hand held your figure even closer to him.

“mhm, don't care.” your boyfriend mumbled in-between kisses. you could feel his fingers desperately grabbing onto the material of your clothes— tugging at them with every sensual and slow peck. satoru finally detached his lips from yours, only for them to plant a trail of butterfly kisses from your jaw to your neck. “i missed you so much, love.”

you could feel your face warm up due to his husky voice that never failed to make you feel weak in the knees. you had truly missed him as well; yes, you wanted to stay hugging like this at the front door, yet you needed to ensure that he got enough nutrients in for the day. you slowly tried to get the man to budge, gently pulling your head away to look up at him. though, satoru still gave you no room for escape as his hands were firmly pressing your body against his.

“i prepared you your favorite dishes, so how about we go eat them together and then we can continue cuddling afterwards, 'kay?” you offered with a soft smile on your face, your fingers moving some of the strands of his hair to the side. “mm..” your lover hummed in response, clearly not paying attention to anything you had been saying— his blue eyes focusing on every one of your facial features that he loves so much.

“..i take that as a yes.” giggling, you tried to walk towards the kitchen once you somehow got out of his embrace, however satoru was quick to put his arms around your middle again— this time from behind. his hair tickled your neck as he muttered a low 'stay' against your skin. although, his lower body tagged along with obvious resistance.

“just one bite then? please?” you stopped in your tracks, trying to convince the sorcerer to eat his meal instead of brushing it off every time he comes home from a hard day at work. it wasn't the first time it happened; him clinging onto you and persuading you into cuddling with him in your room until you both fall asleep. well, it was also partially your fault for being unable to say no to that irresistible charm of his.

satoru stared up at you through his eyelashes— arms still not letting you go anywhere around the kitchen. his eyes then flickered to the dishes you had placed on the counter top. he could feel his heart rate pick up just at the sight of the multiple plates sitting on the surface, knowing that you put time and effort into making this just for him; how could he ever refuse your offer?

a loving smile tugged at his lips before turning to face you again. “deal. but..” you tilted your head once you heard the conjunction at the end, anticipating what he was about to add to the deal when all of a sudden you felt yourself getting lifted up. satoru swiftly plopped down on the chair near the counter while pulling you into his lap— never once letting his hands leaving your body. “..i want you to feed me.”

you opened your mouth to agree to his condition, yet your boyfriend had quickly concluded that you would refuse. “pretty please?” satoru repeatedly fluttered his eyelashes, a pout forming on his lips. you could only giggle at his playful actions and immediately reached your arm out to pour some soup into his bowl. “alright, alright.”

a mischievous grin appeared on the man's face once you agreed and he continued to rest his chin on the dip of your shoulder, looking up at you with nothing but love in his eyes.

little did you know that feeding him his meals was quite the chore; he had to pause to give you a kiss on the cheek with every bite of his food, thanking you for your hard work and whispering a few 'love you's in between, which went on until late at night.

just what would he do without you by his side.

[sebgender]

my tears ricochet - Taylor Swift

inspired by heystrawbs on tiktok !!!!

[sebgender]

i wrote a zuo ran/male reader oneshot on ao3😵please kudos, share, and give feedback!

lovedrunk by sebgender - 未定事件簿 | Tears of Themis (Video Game) https://archiveofourown.org/works/37220305 via @ao3org

[sebgender]

this is a diluc and kaeya angst fic! i would like to point out that their bond is 100% familial and platonic! (i Do Not support kae!uc whatsoever)

i posted this on wattpad and ao3 (@sebgender) and if you would like, you can follow me on twitter (@sebgender) as well!

i did not have anyone read this over so i apologize if there are any spelling or grammatical errors. i hope you enjoy!

—————————

gods.

kaeya has never had a strong belief in the gods. despite growing up in mondstadt, where they worshipped barbatos, he couldn't help but feel out of place. but who could he blame? born in khaenri'ah, a place without any deities who watched over the people, of course he would be skeptical of these so-called seven archons.

.................

it was the day aether and all the acquaintances he made while traveling teyvat would confront his sister and the rest of the abyss order. it had been gloomy since the morning, dark clouds looming in the sky.

aether had gone off to confront lumine personally, while the rest of them stayed back to fend off the mages and its subordinates. the knights of favonius were present as well. the acting grandmaster and captains leading groups out to fight, barbara and the other sisters on the side, healing and tending to the injured.

rain started to fall and things quickly became chaotic. the stream of enemies seemed never ending. more and more knights running out of energy and getting injured. kaeya's ears rang as he fought, becoming less and less aware of his surroundings. kneeling by one of the trees, a voice called out to him.

"big brother kaeya!! kaeyaaa!!!"

he whipped his head around to see klee sprinting towards him. even klee, the effervescent spark knight, seemed to lack her usual upbeat smile. her small legs carried her as fast as they could. his breath hitched. this was the first time he'd ever seen the girl so...shaken up? he couldn't tell if it was tears or rain that streamed down her face.

"klee? what's wrong? are you alright?"

she was crying. as she got closer, her sobs became more audible.

"we have to go!! he needs help!! he's hurt!"

she tugged at him, urging him to get up quickly. grabbing hold of his hands, she ran, pulling him back towards the direction she came from.

"klee, who's hurt? you have to tell me so i know"

she started crying harder, her grip on his hand tightening.

"aether's sister hurt him."

his eye widened before taking klee into his arms and taking off.

"klee, where is he?!"

"he's near the winery! master jean told me to go look for you."

"is jean with him?"

"master jean had to go get healed by barbara."

kaeya's patience was running thin. he was about to question her again but was cut off by a loud clap of thunder. running as fast as he could, he could make out three standing figures in front of the winery. there were knights scattered around. kaeya couldn't tell whether they were injured or dead. klee started to squirm in his arms as she tried to release herself.

klee let out a blood curdling scream and kaeya watched as the blonde figure sunk her blade straight through the shoulder of a read head.

"DON'T HURT HIM!!!!!"

klee sprinted towards them. aether limped, almost falling, and grabbed the girl and pushed her head into the crook of his neck. klee has been assigned to fend off hilichurls but now has witnessed diluc being injured. she should have never been put on the field today.

"KLEE YOU HAVE TO CALM DOWN!!" aether yelled.

"THAT LADY IS HURTING HIM!! MAMA SAID I HAVE TO PROTECT THE PEOPLE I LOVE. I HAVE TO HELP LIKE MAMA SAID!!"

klee was having a full on breakdown now; she sobbed and screamed while lashing around in aether's hold trying to get him to let go. diluc didn't as much as let out a wince before trying to raise his claymore again. it seemed that diluc had gotten to aether before kaeya and klee did. lumine was quick to pull out her sword, blood splattering on the ground. kaeya was stuck in his place.

move.

move!

WHY AREN'T YOU MOVING?! HELP HIM!!

his mind cleared as he saw klee rip from aether's grasp and run towards lumine.

"KLEE NO!!! LUMINE DON'T HURT HER!!!!" screamed aether.

kaeya sprinted after her and managed to grab her before she was in range of lumine's blade.

"klee, let big brother kaeya take care of this, okay? i need you to take aether to barbara. can you do that for me?"

she sniffled before nodding and running back towards the traveler. turning back towards lumine, his face dropped, not an ounce of emotion could be seen.

"kaeya. i'm surprised that you'd go to such lengths to protect the ones against you. have you forgotten who you are?"

"i could ask you the same. who do you think you are swinging your blade at a child?!"

"i wasn't going to hurt her. i was going to use the butt of my blade to knock her out at most. i still have morals."

"it sure doesn't seem like it. i told you that i no longer associate myself with the likes of you or khaenri'ah, for a mater of fact. i grew up here and i will protect it."

"kaeya, i thought we could work this out. we could have gotten revenge together. don't you want that? or would you rather stay stuck in a place, surrounded by the people who worship the same gods who never cared about you!?"

"if they didn't care about me, they wouldn't have saved me!! this is not a matter of my faith in the gods but me wanting to protect the place and people i love!"

"fine. then i'll just end you now."

lumine charged at him, kaeya quick to dodge. the two went at it for sometime, diluc long forgotten about by lumine. the pyro wielder kneeled, holding his wound as he watched the two fight. it was obvious that both were running out of stamina. at some point, kaeya's eyepatch has fallen off as well. his eyes were unfocused as he tried to play offense, but it wasn't enough.

time had suddenly slowed as kaeya watched her blade come closer and closer towards his heart. had he been quicker on his feet, maybe he could've helped more people. but of course, it no longer mattered. he was about to die. his eyes subconsciously closed, his body inviting the blade to end him — yet it never came.

seconds passed before he opened his eyes. diluc stood in front of him and as kaeya looked down, he saw the sword come out the other end.

"di...luc?"

as if on que, the man fell to his knees. his hands still firmly held the blade where he grabbed as lumine changed directions and stabbed him through his abdomen. the rain poured harder and lumine started making her retreat.

it was all making sense as he gripped his sword and started to charge towards the girl but a hand wrapped around his ankle, preventing him from going further.

"...it's not worth it. you'll get hurt."

"diluc, lay down, quick. we have to stop the bleeding. you'll be fine."

kaeya stumbled over his words as he layed diluc down on the wet grass. he took off his cape and pressed it against his wound.

"i'm sorry."

kaeya eyes snapped up to diluc's face.

"what are you apologizing for, you idiot...?just....shut up and save your breath. i don't know what nonsense you're spewing but now is not the time."

"there's no need for all the effort. i won't make it."

kaeya ignored the redhead and continued applying pressure to the wound while looking around for anyone who could possibly heal diluc. both his shoulder and abdomen were causing him to loose blood at a rapid pace. the grass he laid on was dyed a dark crimson.

diluc shook his head. it was futile, his efforts would be in vain. in around 5 to 10 minutes, he would die from blood loss. no words were exchanged, both men too scared to break the seemingly fragile silence.

"......why would you do that?"

diluc grunted in response rather than replying with words. kaeya gripped the fabric he held to diluc's abdomen even harder.

"...you fucking saved me. why?"

"because."

"because what?! what are doing protecting the same person who betrayed you, diluc?!"

"kaeya, i don't care about that anymore!! i haven't cared for years. i saved you because you are worthy of being saved!!"

silence again. it was deafening.

"you can't."

"huh?"

"you're not allowed to leave again. he said you have to stay with me, no matter what.."

at that moment, the red head laughed a genuine laugh. kaeya looked at him like he was crazy.

"you know, i never left in the first place. i've always been here. whether you wanted to take advantage of that, was up to you."

"don't give me that bullshit!! you left mondstadt for 3 years without your goddamned vision and we had no contact! i had no idea if you would even come back."

"but i did, didn't i?"

"it doesn't matter! you were surviving off the same delusion that killed your father! you could've been next!"

"our."

kaeya was dumbfounded. was diluc listening to a word he said? his answers were short, not making any sort of sense to blue haired man.

"he was our father, not just mine."

"is this really our biggest problem at hand?!"

"yes. you know how much he loved you. he cared for you as much as he cared for me. he is our father, it doesn't matter if you acknowledge it or not."

before kaeya could retort, diluc spoke again.

"he loved when you referred to him as your father. i remember the first day you showed up at the winery, looking confused as ever. he crouched down in front of me and asked me if i wanted a brother. he was willing to take you in from the very start."

kaeya had nothing to say as diluc's breathing became increasingly labored. yet, instead of taking it easy, he insisted on continuing his story.

"even when he saw you standing there, watching as he took his last breath, he didn't hate you. he never could. he told me to stay with you. selfishly, i left for three years but i came back....because i knew that's what he would have wanted."

"....why are you telling me this now?"

diluc's face had gone even more pale, sweat dripping down his face despite the cold rain. he wheezed and coughed as he spoke.

"to remind you that even though you're witnessing this exact scene again, you are not to blame. dad doesn't blame you, and neither do i."

"blame me for what? what scene? diluc, you're gonna make it. you aren't gonna die in the same place as crepus." kaeya laughed nervously.

surely it wasn't happening right? surely barbara would come running down here any second and heal diluc and they would go back to their daily bantering at the tavern. everything would go back to normal!

"no matter what you decide to do, please don't sell the winery."

"stop...stop! what are you saying right now?!"

kaeya became frantic once again, shouting out for help, only halting as he felt a hand fall on top of his own. kaeya's body temperature is always lower than others due to his cryo vision, but even with his pyro vision, diluc's hand felt colder than kaeya's.

"you have to keep going, alright?"

kaeya looked down at diluc, eyes filling with tears that he has not shed in quite a few years.

"kae......"

diluc's eyes conveyed everything single thing he could've possibly wanted to say in his last moments. so even with his limited words, he wanted to at least say something. so, with a smile and his last breath, he repeated the same words he told kaeya all those years ago.

"even if you don't think so, you were — and always will be — the best older brother i could have ever wished for."

as diluc's eyes closed, kaeya could hear the footsteps of knights behind him and his name being called out.

kaeya!

kaeya!

"KAEYA!!"

kaeya shook his head and rapidly blinked as he finally came back to reality.

"you were spacing out again and i still have some paperwork to do. i'm not trying to rush you but...."

"ah, so sorry jean. i...uh. i came to ask if i could change some of my info that is currently in the files?"

"oh? what would you like changed?"

kaeya's eyes dropped down to the now unlit pyro vision hanging next to his own.

"i think i want to change my last name... back to ragnvindr."

.................

but even with his little belief in the gods, kaeya found himself praying to them everyday — begging them to give him his little brother back. whispering apologies to the wind that he hoped barbatos would carry to diluc.