secndlife

[secndlife]

This is the worst timeline. (x)

[secndlife]

eldest sisters are the backbone of society if you’re an eldest sister i applaud u

[secndlife]

karol!! hi!! i was your little green heart anon from awhile back nice to meet u 🙂‍↕️ but!! i just read your hoshi vday drabble i got the notification but had to put it aside for a bit bc work 😔 BUT when i did get the chance to read u wont believe my face when i saw your note abt baile inolvidable bc by chance i was also listening to it when i was reading it was crazy!! anyways i love your work as always it was such a good little read :D

omg!!!!!!! my shayla!!!!!!!! hi!!!!!!! your asks were everything to me 🥹 anyway !! damn don’t you hate when work gets in the way 🙄 but omg??? the universe was like i’m gonna take care of your experience 😮‍💨 also thank you bestie you’re the best 🥹🫶🏻

[secndlife]

[7:15pm]

Soonyoung’s alone and sad on Valentine's Day.

And it’s all his fault. 

It’s all his fault and he knows it. 

You’re not alone and sad, though. You’re spending Valentine’s Day with someone else when you should be spending it with him. But again, it’s his fault. 

“So…” Your voice is small and hesitant already. You’re not sure how you’re gonna do this.

Soonyoung looks away from the movie to stare at you, eyes as majestic as ever, and a small smile across his lips. His black hair is slightly damp and droplets of sweat are trailing down his torso. His body can never really hide what the two of you do.

When you say nothing, he asks, “Yes?”

You just have to say it. Plain and simple. You’ve known him long enough. You’ve been doing this long enough. It’s time. 

Breathe in, breathe out.

“Valentine’s Day is coming up.” This has to be enough, you can’t bring yourself to continue. You just can’t do it. Soonyoung has to figure out the rest on his own. 

The thing is, he isn’t any good with unspoken words. 

“Oh, yeah.” His eyes are facing front again, “I have a couple’s class to teach until 8:30 that day.” 

You nod. 

You want him to tell you he can still see you after classes. You want him to tell you he wants to spend that day with you. You want him to own up to his feelings, even if he’s not ready to actually call you anything more than a friend. 

Because you know you are. You are more. You feel it in the way he kisses you. In the way he smiles at you. In the way he holds your waist when you’re dancing. In the way he says you’re the best he’s ever had. 

But now you want him to say it with actual words. You want them to roll out of his lips the same way moans were doing not long ago. 

“Do you have plans?” Soonyoung suddenly asks and you’re caught off guard. 

“Not really.”

Silence.

Do it. Do it now. Ask her to spend Valentine’s Day with you. You want it and she wants it too. That’s probably why she’s bringing this up. Just say it. They’re just words. It’s not like you haven’t been showing her in other ways you want that. 

But Soonyoung just can’t do it. 

It’s like he’s paralyzed. By fear, by insecurities, by the weird voice in his head - he’s not even sure what it is. He just can’t do it.

When Soonyoung doesn’t say what you wanna hear, you do your best to hide, but there’s a clear shift in your posture. And it’s so evident that even someone like Soonyoung can pick up on it. And before he realizes it, he’s vomiting words. And they’re all the wrong ones. 

“You can do something if you want to. Don’t let me hold you back.” He’s still not looking at you, but he can feel your eyes on him. “I mean, it’s not like we’re officially dating anyway.” 

“What?” You can’t say anything more than that. Your head is spinning and your mouth feels dry. 

No, Soonyoung. No. Shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up. 

But again, he just can’t do it. 

“Well, we always said this was casual.” 

There was absolutely nothing casual about the two of you. Not anymore. Soonyoung’s in it, and deep. But that’s not the arrangement. That’s not what you both said this thing was gonna be when you first kissed months ago. That’s not what you both said when you kept having sex week after week. He was not supposed to like you this much. He’s not supposed to almost love you like that. 

But he does and he somehow thinks he’s not allowed. Soonyoung thinks he shouldn’t. Not because of you. God, never because of you. But because of him. Because he’s clueless.

And he thinks you deserve more than that. He’s known you for ages and you’re his favorite person. You don’t deserve clueless. You deserve intentional. Regardless of how much he likes you.

So maybe that’s why Soonyoung is doing this now. He’s not sure.  

Clueless.

This did not go as you planned. Awful result. Just awful. You’re at a loss for words so all you do is hum in acknowledgment.

Soonyoung tries to think for a second, and he can feel in his heart he’s absolutely ruining everything. 

But he just can’t help it. Maybe it’s for the best.

Clueless.

“Yeah, so you’re free to do whatever. Maybe even go on a date.” You look at your hands and his words feel like a thousand knives being pressed against your skin. “You shouldn’t be alone on Valentine’s Day.”

And so you aren’t alone on Valentine’s Day. But Soonyoung is. 

And all he thinks about is you. 

Soonyoung is alone and sad and he’s about to teach a couple’s class without the best dance partner he’s ever had. 

And it’s all his fault.

a/n: omg hiiiiii! i haven't written anything in ages. i was in fact complaining yesterday to a friend about it lol and then today i woke up and BAILE INoLVIDABLE was stuck in my head and had an epiphany that it's very much a soonyoung song. so then i wrote this. i kinda wanted to write more and give it the happy ending it deserves but i the inspiration is gone (and so is my free time). so maybe some other time. but yes here you have it, angsty soonyoung for vday!!! enjoy!!! mwah!!!

[secndlife]

[7:15pm]

Soonyoung’s alone and sad on Valentine's Day.

And it’s all his fault. 

It’s all his fault and he knows it. 

You’re not alone and sad, though. You’re spending Valentine’s Day with someone else when you should be spending it with him. But again, it’s his fault. 

“So…” Your voice is small and hesitant already. You’re not sure how you’re gonna do this.

Soonyoung looks away from the movie to stare at you, eyes as majestic as ever, and a small smile across his lips. His black hair is slightly damp and droplets of sweat are trailing down his torso. His body can never really hide what the two of you do.

When you say nothing, he asks, “Yes?”

You just have to say it. Plain and simple. You’ve known him long enough. You’ve been doing this long enough. It’s time. 

Breathe in, breathe out.

“Valentine’s Day is coming up.” This has to be enough, you can’t bring yourself to continue. You just can’t do it. Soonyoung has to figure out the rest on his own. 

The thing is, he isn’t any good with unspoken words. 

“Oh, yeah.” His eyes are facing front again, “I have a couple’s class to teach until 8:30 that day.” 

You nod. 

You want him to tell you he can still see you after classes. You want him to tell you he wants to spend that day with you. You want him to own up to his feelings, even if he’s not ready to actually call you anything more than a friend. 

Because you know you are. You are more. You feel it in the way he kisses you. In the way he smiles at you. In the way he holds your waist when you’re dancing. In the way he says you’re the best he’s ever had. 

But now you want him to say it with actual words. You want them to roll out of his lips the same way moans were doing not long ago. 

“Do you have plans?” Soonyoung suddenly asks and you’re caught off guard. 

“Not really.”

Silence.

Do it. Do it now. Ask her to spend Valentine’s Day with you. You want it and she wants it too. That’s probably why she’s bringing this up. Just say it. They’re just words. It’s not like you haven’t been showing her in other ways you want that. 

But Soonyoung just can’t do it. 

It’s like he’s paralyzed. By fear, by insecurities, by the weird voice in his head - he’s not even sure what it is. He just can’t do it.

When Soonyoung doesn’t say what you wanna hear, you do your best to hide, but there’s a clear shift in your posture. And it’s so evident that even someone like Soonyoung can pick up on it. And before he realizes it, he’s vomiting words. And they’re all the wrong ones. 

“You can do something if you want to. Don’t let me hold you back.” He’s still not looking at you, but he can feel your eyes on him. “I mean, it’s not like we’re officially dating anyway.” 

“What?” You can’t say anything more than that. Your head is spinning and your mouth feels dry. 

No, Soonyoung. No. Shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up. 

But again, he just can’t do it. 

“Well, we always said this was casual.” 

There was absolutely nothing casual about the two of you. Not anymore. Soonyoung’s in it, and deep. But that’s not the arrangement. That’s not what you both said this thing was gonna be when you first kissed months ago. That’s not what you both said when you kept having sex week after week. He was not supposed to like you this much. He’s not supposed to almost love you like that. 

But he does and he somehow thinks he’s not allowed. Soonyoung thinks he shouldn’t. Not because of you. God, never because of you. But because of him. Because he’s clueless.

And he thinks you deserve more than that. He’s known you for ages and you’re his favorite person. You don’t deserve clueless. You deserve intentional. Regardless of how much he likes you.

So maybe that’s why Soonyoung is doing this now. He’s not sure.  

Clueless.

This did not go as you planned. Awful result. Just awful. You’re at a loss for words so all you do is hum in acknowledgment.

Soonyoung tries to think for a second, and he can feel in his heart he’s absolutely ruining everything. 

But he just can’t help it. Maybe it’s for the best.

Clueless.

“Yeah, so you’re free to do whatever. Maybe even go on a date.” You look at your hands and his words feel like a thousand knives being pressed against your skin. “You shouldn’t be alone on Valentine’s Day.”

And so you aren’t alone on Valentine’s Day. But Soonyoung is. 

And all he thinks about is you. 

Soonyoung is alone and sad and he’s about to teach a couple’s class without the best dance partner he’s ever had. 

And it’s all his fault.

a/n: omg hiiiiii! i haven't written anything in ages. i was in fact complaining yesterday to a friend about it lol and then today i woke up and BAILE INoLVIDABLE was stuck in my head and had an epiphany that it's very much a soonyoung song. so then i wrote this. i kinda wanted to write more and give it the happy ending it deserves but i the inspiration is gone (and so is my free time). so maybe some other time. but yes here you have it, angsty soonyoung for vday!!! enjoy!!! mwah!!!

[secndlife]

it’s him!!

pairing: seungcheol x female reader

genre: smut, frat boy!seungcheol

summary: seungcheol seemed to have a lot of confidence when he was allowing words to pass through his lips. but could he actually back it up?

word count: 4.2k

warnings: fingering, dirty talking, minor degradation, semi-public sex. 

song

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[secndlife]

this is very much a mmf song mwah 🫶🏻

[secndlife]

idk bro i’m just trying to process the fact that i’ve witnessed svt at lollapalooza with my own two eyes

[secndlife]

"lovie"

tldr: all the ways jeonghan uses your nickname a/n: but mom, i love him. (there is a makeout scene in this...)

pesters: but only in good fun

“lovie,” he coos at you, encouraged by the blush on your cheeks. he could tell by the look in your eyes, you were embarrassed but not upset. you hadn’t thought anything of it when he suggested you wear the green hoodie in your closet to visit him and the members in the practice room. 

“need to let everyone know we’re together?” he couldn’t help but poke fun at you as you walked into the room wearing a matching hoodie to his. you had no knowledge he had even worn the offending garment today. if you had, you wouldn’t be in yours, especially not in front of his members and their staff.  

“i’m pretty sure everyone already knows.” his teasing didn’t let up, even as he wrapped his arms around you, pleased to see you had fallen right into his trap. you faintly heard joshua scoff somewhere behind you, too focused on the man in front of you to really give him any attention, “you guys are gross.” 

whispers: when he wants to check in

“lovie,” his whisper pulls you from your thoughts. “i don’t think that pork will come back to life no matter how hard you stare at it. mingyu grilled it really well.” you rolled your eyes but turned to look at him nonetheless. he looked awfully handsome under the dim light of the bbq restaurant. he always looked handsome, you supposed. 

“are you okay?” he was still whispering. wanted to keep this moment as private as possible so you could speak freely. he knew dinner with his members could be a lot, especially after a long day at work. 

“you can tell me if you want to go. you know i’ll never pass up an opportunity to go home with you.” his eye dropped in a wink, and this time you smiled when you rolled your eyes. going home with him did kind of sound like a good idea…

breathes: in between kisses

“lovie,” it escapes him like a sigh, slipping out between you two in a heated moment. you were on his lap, completely blocking his view of the tv, and in the back of his mind he knows he wanted to see this one but he couldn’t bring himself to care. not with the way he is consumed with the feeling of your weight pressing on him, your warmth almost burning his skin even through layers of clothes. 

when you pull back and look at him, he swears he feels his heart skip a beat. face oily and bare from the skin care you had completed before joining him on the couch for movie night, he’s never thought you more beautiful. he can feel your lip balm on and around his lips, a reminder you’d been there.

“whatever you’re doing, it’s working lovie,” he praises. “you’re practically glowing.” if he thought you were radiant before, you beamed under his praise. the last thing he saw before his eyes closed to continue kissing you was your toothy grin. 

giggles: behind cupped hands

“lovie,” he was snickering when he pulled you into a secluded corner of seungchoel’s apartment. game night was in full swing and you had just started the third round of mafia. while the rest of the members were distracted by mingyu and soonyoung’s bickering, jeonghan whisked you away, his mischievous smirk on his face. 

“can you keep a secret?” he was talking in hushed tones, hiding his mouth behind his hands to avoid prying eyes. when you nodded in confirmation, he leaned impossibly closer, breath tickling your ear. 

“i’m the mafia.” it took everything in you to keep your face neutral. you didn’t want to blow him in after he spilled such a big secret. it warmed your heart that he trusted you enough to tell you his role in the game. “if you tell anyone, i’ll kill you next.” 

scrawls: on a post-it

“lovie,” the note brought heat to your cheeks. you really hoped your coworker at the desk across from yours didn’t notice. when had he even slipped this in? you packed your own lunch and he wasn’t even awake when you left for your shift this morning, still snuggled beneath your comforter when you pulled your shoes on and headed out the door. 

“i miss you. hope you’re having a good day!” his neat handwriting brought a smile to your face. this wasn’t the first time he had snuck a note into your lunchbox, but he didn’t do it often so this was really a treat. and on a friday, too! what a great way to end the week. 

“i can’t wait to spend the weekend with you.” you shared the sentiment. looking forward to a free weekend with no plans or schedules. free to rot in your bed for the next two days with your beloved. “love you!” 

[secndlife]

i’m craving a good fic read soooooo bad like those 50k monsters that you spend the whole night reading and when you finish there’s a massive whole in your chest and you wonder if life is even worth living anymore

[secndlife]

fuck the neighbors

[secndlife]

pairing: soonyoung x female reader

genre: fluff, smut, very little angst

summary: when you met soonyoung, you thought he was probably one of the most annoying people you had ever encountered. the more you found yourself wrapped up in him, that thought didn’t really change. he was still annoying. annoyingly cute, annoyingly charming, and annoyingly exciting. and, before you realized, you were annoyingly in love.

word count: 33.2k (read on browser or desktop. mobile will kill you)

warnings: blowjob, fingering, face fucking, dirty talk, mutual masturbation, unprotected sex, hair pulling, creampie, mentions of role-playing.

playlist

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[secndlife]

📁

The curtains in Seungcheol’s room sucked, you discovered. You had no idea what time it actually was, but probably early, considering the sun had started to peek through his room not long ago. You couldn’t sleep through it. 

It was your first time there, at least in the morning. You probably had been there before during a party or two, but just because Seungcheol had been trying to get you for a while now. So he found stupid reasons to get you in his room, but it never resulted in anything. There was a lot of flirting involved for a considerable amount of time. It was just one of those things that were bound to happen, you guessed. One way or another. One day or another.

Last week, you gave in. You two did things in a closet. A closet, out of all places. He didn’t want to go further out of fear he wouldn’t get to do anything afterward, though. He liked you too much for that. 

Last night, he gave in. And he did many more things to you. So many things. Things you didn’t think you’d let anyone do to you. But it’s Seungcheol. And he turned out to be pretty irresistible. With him, you’d try anything, you discovered.  

When you were done, your shared regret was not giving in earlier. You wondered, again, why did it take you so long. It was just probably because you both enjoyed the chasing game a bit too much.

As if he could sense you were awake, Seungcheol woke up, too. Maybe it was the sun. 

“Hi.” His tone was low. Borderline shy.

You giggled before turning around to face him, “Hi.” 

His eyes were puffy, and his cheeks were painted red. Seungcheol was breathtaking, especially under the annoying morning light. 

“Did you have fun last night?” He smiled, dimples proudly showing. His fingers were by your arm, aimlessly roaming against your skin. You felt goosebumps coming. 

You smiled back. “Yeah. A lot of fun.” 

He nodded, the two of you falling in comfortable silence. 

You brushed his raven hair out of his face, and he hummed at your touch. “You should buy better curtains, though.”

Seungcheol didn’t get it. “What? Why?”

“Because I can’t sleep through the sun,” you explained, eyes locked on his and a cheeky grin across your lips.

He looked puzzled. Endearing. Seungcheol kept waiting for an explanation that never came. All you did was smile at him. It kind of made him dizzy. After a second or two, he got it. 

“Does this mean you’ll be in my bed in the morning more often?”

[secndlife]

🧍📂

“I’m home,” Soonyoung announced, voice clearly tired from his daily activities. Thursdays were always, always packed. All he wanted was to take a shower, eat something tasty and curl up against you on the couch. But no, he couldn’t. He couldn’t because he had to do the fucking laundry.

God, Soonyoung hated laundry days. He hated it more than any other chore. You didn’t particularly like it either, so the two of you alternated weeks. This was his week and he hated it. He’d do the dishes and vacuum and mop a hundred times if that meant he could get away with the separating and the hanging and the folding.

When he dropped his belongings by the kitchen counter, he noticed the light in the laundry room was on. Weird. 

He walked toward the source of light and found you surrounded by his dancing and home clothes. They all seemed clean from the gentle smell of softener that filled his senses.

“Hi baby,” you said, eyes never moving from the shirt you were folding.

Soonyoung furrowed his eyebrows, “Isn’t it my turn to do laundry?” 

You nodded, “It is.” 

“Then why are you doing it?” He questioned, moving closer to you and placing a kiss on the back of your exposed neck.

“Because I know you hate it.” Simple.

He giggled, “You don’t like it either.” 

Your hands stopped working on his tiger-printed shirt while you turned around to face him. Soonyoung would always manage to take your breath away from how handsome he was. “I don’t like it. You hate it.”

He smiled. Big, bright. Your favorite smile. 

And then, he thought that maybe the small things meant more than he had ever considered. These small, theoretically insignificant gestures that, if he looked close enough, would show him one of the many ways love can be expressed.

Soonyoung knew he loved you at all times. Early morning to late night. Spring to winter. Monday to Sunday. 

But now, when he caught you doing something he was supposed to do, something you don’t really like doing yourself, he figured he loved you more on Thursdays than on any other day.

[secndlife]

i miss writing :/

[secndlife]

📂

“I have something for you,” Chan said, sitting down on your couch. 

It was funny how the place felt like home for him, even though he had been there about ten times. He secretly hoped he’d get to be there more and more and more.

A smile took over your features instantly. “Really?” The tone in your voice made his heart beat faster. He absolutely loved making you smile.

He mirrored your expression, “Yeah.” 

Chan let out a breath. He was nervous. It was a silly gift, thinking about it. It didn’t cost him thousands. Still. The meaning behind it. He liked to think he knew you well enough to know you wouldn’t perceive it as something possessive. As something demeaning. Because it wasn’t. At least not for him. 

Still.

When Chan bought it, it was on a whim. Like those things you do in a courageous outburst. Like those things you do when you don’t have the time to think much about it, otherwise, you just wouldn’t. 

Much like the first time he asked you out almost three months ago. 

You watched him while he removed a black velvet box from the pocket in his jeans. You furrowed your eyebrows at him, “Are you gonna propose?” The teasing in your voice made it clear you didn’t actually think he was about to do that, but he almost exploded when your words reached his ears.

“What? No!” Not yet. One day, maybe.

You bumped him with your shoulders, “I’m just joking.”

Chan giggled, doing his best to hide his nervousness. Instead of responding, he just handed you the box that felt weirdly heavy in his hands but seemed to be featherweight for you.

“Thank you,” you told him, even before opening it. All he did was smile at you. Small, shy. Still mesmerizing. 

Chan carefully studied your reaction while you stared at the necklace and the shiny pendant. After a couple of seconds, you stared back at him, “‘C’ as in Chan?” There it was. The teasing tone again. 

The insecurity in his chest clouded all the reassurance he had ever felt in terms of thinking he knew you. He did, right? You liked it?

Chan scratched the back of his neck, “Uh, yeah. I mean.” He sighed. “Yeah.” When you didn’t react, he felt like he had to keep talking, “If you don’t like it I can—”

You smiled. Taunting. His favorite, most days. “Do you think I didn’t like it?”

No. Don’t fake it. Admit it. Admit you think you know her, stupid. And that you think she does like it.

You kept looking at him, and he found the courage he was looking for right in your eyes. “I think you do.” 

Your smile grew ten times. One for each one of his visits. You nodded, “I love it.”

Wearing his initial on a chain around your neck felt effortless. And that was because he knew you. This was all that was. Him showing that he did know you. Not a testament of ownership, but of familiarity. 

Chan knew you. And he knew he was your favorite. 

He smiled back, confidence making its way back into his bloodstreams, “I knew it.”