secretlifeofgirl - Tumblr blog

[secretlifeofgirl]

details

[secretlifeofgirl]

January 5th, 2021

As a women I am constantly told to look at my body. To examine it be ashamed if it is not perfect. I got tired of worrying how my body looked in 2020. I chose not to care. It was fine, I of course still had those days when I felt down and sad about it but who does not. Today something clicked.

I realized I wanted to not care about my body, but be healthy. I feel when it comes to health, especially with girls, we are told health is defined by how we look. I disagree, I feel health is defied by how we treat ourselves. A number on a scale should not define if I am healthy or not. I will not let that define my health. I will treat myself right mentally and physically. I have started to work out again, and I meal plan, only dinner making sure I am eating one proper meal a day. I have not figured out how to incorporate lunch and breakfast. I am not allowing the scale to be apart of this adventure. I feel that it will only make me worry now. I have seen that scale ruin so many people. Me included for a bit, but I gave up on myself last year and I will not again. If this works out, great! If not so be it.

[secretlifeofgirl]

Stomachs of the Renaissance

[secretlifeofgirl]

All About Wicker, 1978

[secretlifeofgirl]

To really be centered and to really work well and to think about the kinds of things that I need to think about, I need to spend large amounts of time alone.

-Donna Tartt

[secretlifeofgirl]

Tik Tok “Celebrities”

Covid is a very serious matter, and I have no followers at the moment so it is not like this really matters, but if I did have followers and I did promote my life, I feel as though I would not promote me going out everyday. It is ridiculous millions are dying and these “celebs” get tested and go out. Testing is to make sure that though who are trying to help other, front-line workers, can do their job. NOT for these self-proclaimed influencers can go out and have fun. I hope they know getting a COVID test does not prevent them from getting COVID. It in fact spreads very fast, but at least they are having fun.

[secretlifeofgirl]

The Apotheosis of Hercules, ceiling painting by François Lemoyne.

Palace of Versailles  (ph. Adrianna Geo).

[secretlifeofgirl]

January 4th, 2021

I woke up late yet again. My family constantly brings me down, no mater what I say or do I simply can not win. They constantly make me feel like I am in a losing battle. A battle that has been attempted so many times. One that I simply can not give up on, when it has been over for years. 

I chose not to attend university this semester. Covid makes it risky and though my mom and I do not get along I can not help but worry for her if I had to leave university and visit her again. I wish my mom took better care of herself, I wish she had realized what she was doing to not only her life but everyone around her by not taking care of herself. Now I am stuck in a sad home where no one really seems to care for anyone. Sometimes I want to run away and go somewhere but I am broke and I have work in the morning so I don't so I stay. I take it.

My semester starts at the end of this week, on Monday so I guess it is next week. I’m not too worried about it, it is online I feel pretty comfortable online so that's a good. I hope whoever sees this knows that I am sending good energy to them and they’re up and coming semesters and that all goes well.