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#Insanity Day One Ze mantra for the day...I hate you Mr. T WEIGHT: 219.2 lbs MEASUREMENTS: Upper Arms: Right: 14" Left: 15" Boobs: 46 1/8" Chest: 41 1/2" Stomach: 48" Thighs: 28" Calves: 16" #Insanityfittest Results Switchkicks 20 Power jacks 20 Power knees 3 Power jumps 6 Globe jumps 6 Suicide jumps 10 Pushup jacks 0 (and im not ashamed) Low plank obliques 18

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So as I'm reading all this info all I can hear in my head is the hook of Kanye West & Jay-Z's nigga$ in paris with Kanye saying "That shit cray" over and over lol

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Yep, I've decided on a work regimen that has the potential to either render me awesome (Fuck that I'm ALWAYS awesome) or cause me to accidentally commit suicide-by-workout.

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Welcome. You get to witness my Meltdown Monday mental diarrhea every week.  Why? Because Mondays suck and I'd rather just get all the crappy thoughts and bad juju out on Monday so the next 6 days of the week are just full of WIN.

These posts are weird, rant-y, random as heck and just whatever comes to my mind at the time. Just full on inside the mind of crazy folks. These won't happen often but its nice just to purge all the BS in your mind so you can work on a nice clean slate the rest of the week.

So, um guys, I totally effed up Day 1 of my #weightstalkers regimen and the day has just been the pits. You know what fitness programs don't take into account?

Aunt-Fucking-Flow.

I'm bloated and retaining more water than the effing Hoover Dam, I'm cranky and in pain. And I want zero shits to do with a fucking carrot. I want tacos damnit!!

Add to that my seemingly fruitless search for a job (...any job!) and stockpiling bills and its just a fucking recipe for a PMS meltdown. And the day started off so well...but that's where I'm at right now melt-fucking-down.

I hope I'll be better at this making-myself-a-better-person ish tomorrow. I'm going to make me some effing tacos. 

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DIY Weight Stalkers: The Prep

I know after my last post you're feeling a little...overwhelmed...

At the very least I know I was/am/is/are...whatever. But honestly, I 'm really hoping its not. So I CHOOSE to believe this is a piece of cake. Really, its just a counting game. I like games. Games are fun...unless you're playing Monopoly and in that case shit can get real pretty quickly.

(This actually happened the last time I played Monoply with family.)

So here's what I'm doing to prep before I officially launch this thing on my life:

1.Create a Journal. I can't afford a fancy schmancy food journal and I crave things that look a bit more zazzy than a wide ruled notebook so I designed my own. Some people use an excel spreadsheet to track their progress and some use apps but I'm a note taker. I need to write things out the old fashioned way, I'm old skool like that.

I've actually created a 4 week version of my 12 week journal for you to download for FREE ((CLICK TO DOWNLOAD 4 WEEK JOURNAL))

2. Weigh in & Take Body Measurements ( Upper Arms, Bust, Hips, Waist , Thighs, Calves). In the spirit of keeping it real I'll post these along with the obligatory "before" photo.

3. Pick a fitness regimen AND STICK WITH IT (I'm thinking maybe insanity but I still have that old version of P90-ahem before it was P90X- that I haven't completed after having it for almost 6 years)

4. Meal Plan. This is pretty damn important. I'm not really into diet restrictions which is why I chose this program in the first place. I love sweets and carbs and all that other bad for you crap but I need to learn a bit of self-control when it comes to them and to eat more good things (i.e. Power Foods).

You can actually find good Weight Watchers recipes all over the internet. Pinterest is actually a great place to find a whole array of them. You could also check your local library for any Weight Watchers magazines or cookbooks. You don't need to spend any money to find the info you need to make delicious and healthy meals for you and your family.

5.  Get in the mindset that THIS is for YOU. And YOU DESERVE THIS. You deserve at what's at the end of the tunnel. Make a choice. Make a change. Make yourself. NOW.

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DIY Weight Stalkers: The Basics

Weight Watchers isn't rocket science but it does involve a bit of math and a lot of tenacity. And if you're like me where  math is not your strongest subject that's where a good ol (free!) app comes in.

With the WW PointsPlus system basically deals with points. Having them, using them, earning them; its a game people. A game in which if you win you'll be a totally healthier version of yourself. I don't know about you but that's a game I need to win. Its just a fancy calorie counting game peeps.

1. Everything you eat or drink has a point value and that point value is based on a food's nutritional value. Things that are taken into account are: fiber, fat, carbs, and protein.

2. PointsPlus LOVES Power Foods

Powerfoods include: fruits, veggies, whole grains, non-processed foods, lean proteins (Source)

The goal here is to eat as many foods within your daily limit that's high in fiber/protein and low in fat/carbs. Oh, and fruits and veggies (not including starches and avocados...which is a total wtf) have an awesome point value of 0!

3. Understanding the point system can seem overwhelming, trust me I know. But its a lot easier to crack the WW code with online and mobile apps. It just makes the whole process so much easier to stick with.

But here's how the point system breaks down:

 ~ You have a daily limit of food points based on your current weight & height, and gender. The goal here is to NOT GO OVER YOUR DAILY LIMIT. Staying at or under your limit means you're losing weight.

~ In addition to your daily limit you also get an extra WEEKLY do-what-you-want 49 Points to use as you please. You don't have to use them all but its nice to know that they're there in the event of some awesome confection you treat yourself to for...you know...existing or something. Or hell maybe you had a nice glass or two of wine (go ahead you deserve it!)

~ Figuring out your daily limit is simple, just use this ((Calculator)).    *Loud whispers* Psst, mine's 35.

Of course you could also purchase a weight watchers calculator online if you want to be all fancy with it but eh, I'm trying to save money not spend it if I don't have to.

~ To caluculate your food points I recommend either:

This website: Online Food Calculator

Or

These mobile apps: WWDiary (my personal FREE choice), WWP Calculator & Tracker (FREE),  WW Tools Free (for those who use the metric system), Pts Plus Weight Diary ($1.99 but its definitely on my to-buy-eventually list, the food scanner makes it so worth it), Value Diary Plus Watchers Wgt ($2.49 another tracker/calculator with a food scanner)

4. Keeping track of all your points can sound pretty daunting and to be honest that's not for everyone but again, apps help do all that work for you. But if you're one who needs to write things down and journal (like me!)  then write them out in a special notebook specifically for your fitness/food. And I mean write out EVERYTHING hunty, its a total pain in the ass in the beginning but once you get into the swing of things it'll be a breeze (or at least that's what I'm telling myself ha!)

5. Ze "Good Health" Guidelines are pretty self explanatory...

6. BE ACTIVE!  When you are active beyond your normal activity level you EARN what's called "Activity Points" which can be converted into PointsPlus food points. For each activity point earned you get one more point towards your DAILY food limit. It doesn't have to be anything strenuous it could just be you cleaning your house. Just don't sit on your butt all day.

You can either use one of the previously mentioned mobile apps or use this online ((Activity Calculator))

7.  The whole premise of why I think this program is always voted the most effective is the support system in its group meetings. The meetings help keep you on track. You can do this by asking your friends and family members to stay on you like white on rice on a white paper plate in a snow storm. Share your story, post progress reports, join an online weight loss group, start a blog (*ahem*). Whatever it takes to make sure you stay on track to weighing in every week and keeping up with the program.

Ok so those are basics, as I experience everything for myself I'm sure they'll be more in-depth knowledge and a few printables because I'm a wee bit printable cray cray.

So what do you think? Is it something you think you can do and keep up with? Or is it too complicated?

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DIY Weight Stalkers (Intro)

Weight Stalkers is for those who hate diets. And here in America they're a dime a dozen. There's always some new diet pill, or exercise craze or weird food diet that makes no effing sense (Lemonade Diet anyone?) and I like food too much to do something too extreme. Don't get me wrong, I really don't eat much junk food there are a few vices that I don't think I'll ever give up like Tacos.

              (In case you're wondering the answer is always "YES!")

And donuts, and wine (seriously, this single mom here needs her occasional wine). So after a bit of research I discovered that weight watchers would be the best thing for me. But seeing as how I live on a lean budget doesn't really leave me room to pay for the weekly/monthly memberships.

But never fear because I realized I could totally DIY the shit of this thing!

  Hence, Weight Stalkers. Its everything that's Weight Watchers just without eating the shitty fake food, constant bombardment of their products, and physical meeting space...right now that's the only downside; because I think the meetings themselves are helpful. But we've got facebook groups, and google hangouts and forums and stuff now so if anyone wants to start a little online meeting with me feel free to let me know. We can cheer each other on or help each other avoid the caloric apocalypse when we have a particularly bad day.

But anywho, that's what I'm doing; ghetto Weight Watchers PointsPlus® program. I'll walk you through the steps and even include a free 4 week Self+Made Weight Stalkers journal! So for the next few days I will go over the PointsPlus basics as well as keep up a daily blog on my progress. My goal is to try this for 12 weeks, just in time for the xmas eats right?

Disclaimer: I fully support the Weight Watchers program when it comes to providing people necessary tools, support and accountability for their own weight loss. If you feel you need those things more then I highly recommend that you go out and pay for the program but I'm a DIY kinda gal and, well, if its cheaper or free to do on my own then that's just how I roll.