sensitivemusings - Tumblr blog

[sensitivemusings]

now that the fall semester is starting back up, who needs tickles to destress

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trap me in a cuddly position and tickle me and tell me how much you love making me happy

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It took me a while to figure out I was demisexual, because I'd always heard it defined as "only experiencing sexual attraction when you've formed a strong emotional bond with someone." But, I discovered last year that that's not the only framework for understanding demisexuality!

Sharing this guide by Rebe Libe as an informational post about demisexuality!

What is demisexuality? What does it mean to be demisexual?

Demisexuals don't experience primary sexual attraction. Primary sexual attraction is based on sight or smell or other instantly available information.

Demisexuals do experience secondary sexual attraction (after knowing more about the person than just their looks). How much demisexuals need to know about said person and for how long they need to know about them for secondary sexual attraction to kick in varies from person to person.

Is it the same for allosexuals?

Allosexuals experience primary sexual attraction but that doesn't mean they want to act on it all the time, it's just a feeling.

They also experience secondary sexual attraction in the sense that they find a person extra attractive if they are attracted for who they are as a person.

Is it the same for asexuals?

Asexuals don't experience primary nor secondary sexual attraction.

Do demisexuals need to have romantic feelings for a person in order to experience sexual attraction towards them?

No, demisexuals don't need to have romantic feelings for a person to be sexually attracted to them.

It is common for both sexual attraction and romantic attraction to be present at the same time, so it can be confused as both needing to be present for secondary sexual attraction to develop but it's not necessary.

Demisexuals can enjoy a person’s presence or be attracted to some of their qualities without having an interest in dating them or building a romantic relationship with them.

Do I have to have a BOND with the person to be attracted to them?

No, attraction for demis can also be one-sided.

You can feel like you know a person and enjoy what they show or share about themselves without personally knowing them that much or at all.

Or course how much demisexuals need to know about a person, before they feel sexually attracted to them, really varies from person to person. There's no specific timeline on how long it takes either.

Can demisexuals be sexually attracted to celebrities or influencers?

Yes, demisexuals can feel attracted to celebrities, it's easy to get to imagine how a person's personality is, without personally getting to know them, with all the info celebrities usually share about their lives in interviews and their own personal plataforms.

That doesn't mean you actually know who they are or if they are being genuine or not, but you can still feel attracted for how you think they are.

Can demisexuals be sexually attracted to fictional characters?

Yes, demisexuals can be attracted to fictional characters, it's also common for demisexuals to be attracted to a character played by an actor but feel no attraction to the actor themself. Demisexuals can also experience sexual attraction towards fictional characters in other media, like books, webcomics, etc.

Can demisexuals have sex with people they aren't sexually attracted to?

Demisexuality is about attraction, NOT action. Demis can definitely have or want sex even without needing to be sexually attracted to the other person.

The same thing happens with asexuals, there are asexuals who enjoy sex for different reasons. They could enjoy the feeling itself, the activity with their partners, etc.

There are also demis who don't desire sex without feeling sexually attracted to the other person. Both things are normal, it more so depends on the person's attitute toward sex.

What are the different attitudes towards sex? (this terminology is also applicable to, and comes from, the wider ace community)

Sex repulsed: Feeling repulsed, uninterested or uncomfortable by the though of engaging in sex. Sex-repulsed aces don't want to engage sexually and that's okay.

Sex-indifferent: No particular feelings toward sex. You might enjoy it but you could also live without it. It could also mean literal "indifference": no positive or negative feelings toward it. Just neutral. Sex indifferent aces might not pursue sex but be okay with engaging.

Sex-favorable: You enjoy sex for multiple reasons and would seek it out (to get or give physical pleasure, as an activity with a partner, etc.). ~~~ Hopefully that was informative! I also want to name that demisexuality is a spectrum. Some demis do need to be deeply bonded and have only experienced sexual attraction a handful of times in their entire lives. I, on the other hand, am at the opposite end of that spectrum and can experience attraction after spending just a few days with someone. What we have in common, though, is that we don't experience primary attraction; most of the time I don't develop romantic or sexual feelings that I want to act on when I first meet someone, even people who I end up being very attracted to.

[sensitivemusings]

agdksga thinking about playful tickles where there’s hands all over you switching from spot to spot so fast that you don’t have a chance to get used to it and are jerking around every which way and just laughing helplessly because your brain is way too scrambled to make it (or want it to) stop

[sensitivemusings]

want big hugs back pats and soft hair stroking but most of all wiggly fingers prodding at my sides and stomach

[sensitivemusings]

Trancelike tummy tickles 😵‍💫🤤

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I want someone to scritch all over my tummy while I just lie down and cuddle with them and melt into a puddle in their arms ❤❤❤

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I love the psychology of using just one finger to tickle the lee.

I mean, it just takes one finger to reduce them to a giggly mess? Just one? How cute.

There's also the aspect that it could be much worse when I start using other fingers: "Aww, but it's just one finger! You can take it. You're so strong after all. Just a bit more, until I start using all my fingers that is."

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squish my face & tell me I’m cute

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they call me the forgetter because i uh

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When lees call you mean or rude, that's just code for "tease and tickle me MORE please."

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something i think ab often is a ler taking their time to see which spots or actions get the best reactions from me. starting at my head and arms and working their way down, just exploring all over with scratches, pokes, squeezes, etc. and commenting things like “oh! that was a big laugh, you must really like that don’t you?” or “that was such a cute giggle, if i tickle you there more i wonder if you’ll do it again!”

[sensitivemusings]

I need someone to tkl my hips and sides until I do those flustered lil leg kickies

[sensitivemusings]

So I just finished one of the most stressful assignments I've ever dealt with, and with 3 hours to spare at that. I think I definitely deserve some snuggles with soft twords maybe

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I love when you threaten someone with tickles and they go in a fit of giggles WHEN YOU’RE NOT EVEN TOUCHING THEM!

AAAUGH IT’S ADORABLE AND MAKES MY HEART MELT!

[sensitivemusings]

Why is being teased so goddamn FUN. That’s it that’s the post. If you know me no you don’t.

[sensitivemusings]

girls like having their tummies tickled (scientifically proven)