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© All rights reserved by Quit007 on Deviantart

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Gorgeous hand embroidery

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Rome #2 by Jordi Huisman on Flickr.

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Maureen O’Connor

White Chair

2014

about today’s posts

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Thierry Mugler - Spring 1999 Couture

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23 Layer Chocolate Cake (via Instagram)

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Embroidery Art Process - Fuzzy Moth Thread Painting

Embroidery process of a white ermine moth.

I'm using natural color linen fabric and DMC cotton embroidery floss.

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Women and men who are sexual masochists can only experience an orgasm if they enact a scenario where they are sexually abused.

They are not "embracing a vision of female sexuality as submission". Sex is a biological imperative and they can only experience an orgasm if they enact a scenario where they are sexually abused. This is not a "choice" that they "embrace" any more than being raped was their choice to begin with.

It was also not their choice to become irreversibly mentally damaged. That's what trauma is and most people don't get mental health support in useful time.

If you understand this but are lying anyway just for the sake of being cruel to victims, you are evil. If you are focusing on female victims that makes you an evil misogynist.

If you don't understand why anyone would still want an orgasm even if it's in a masochistic kind of way because for them that's the only way, you're asexual but you nonetheless still feel entitled to judge people with compulsions that you're not in a position to understand. Hence the accusations you often get of either being a virgin or a puritan.

I don't forgive radfems for judging their fellow sisters who, as a result of having been sexually abused since childhood, have been brainwashed and traumatized into only being able to get off through masochism. It's not the victims' fault and it's some kind of hell to be in their place forever. That deserves compassion not condemnation. Especially considering that it exposes them to further rape at the hands of men who are quite literally, not even metaphorically, sadists.

Feminists were supposed to be on the side of women and those who call themselves "radical" in their feminism often radically betray that goal (vide, how they recommend Andrea Dworkin even though in her published work she advocated for incest and bestiality), but then again what's new about women betraying other fellow women? You're not even a disappointment.

(X)

““The first time I was ever raped,” she (Maggie Mayhem) starts, her throat tightening around her words, “it was actually on a date with somebody from my local S/M community.”

The 27-year-old sex educator and fetish model has never before publicly shared the story of her sexual assault, but the purpose of this evening’s event, a “consent culture” fundraiser, is so that she can start telling it, again and again. Her mission, along with fellow activist and sex worker Kitty Stryker, is to raise awareness about what they say is widespread abuse within the BDSM community and a tendency for players to either turn a blind eye or actively cover it up. They’ve developed a workshop meant to combat the problem and want to take it on the road.

We’re talking about real abuse here, not the “consensual non-consent” that the scene is built around, as Mayhem’s story of her first assault makes clear. As an 18-year-old member of a kinky student club at the University of California, Berkeley, Mayhem helped raise money to bring a prominent BDSM educator to campus for a workshop. Afterward, he singled her out for a private “play date” and she was flattered. “I thought this was the best person I could start to learn from,” she says.

The scene that they negotiated was “fantastic,” Mayhem says, but then things took a turn. “I found myself tied up and unable to get away when that individual decided that he was going to have sex with me,” she says, tears welling in her eyes, “even though we’d specifically negotiated against it, even though I was saying that it needed to stop, and even though he was not wearing a condom at the time.”

For the most part, she kept the experience to herself, but on the rare occasions when she did tell people in the community about it, she says, “I got one response … which was people saying [things like], ‘I don’t do drama. This is a respected person in the community. I’m very sorry that you had a miscommunication during your scene that made it not very fun for you, but I don’t want to hear about it.’”

As she pushed deeper into the scene, trying to put this experience behind her, she had countless more encounters where her boundaries were blatantly ignored. As she gained experience, she started to talk more confidently and openly about these experiences – but, again, she got the “I don’t do drama” line. At the same time, she realized that such abuse was prevalent: “It started to look more like a systemic issue,” she says. As Stryker wrote last year in an essay for Good Vibrations magazine, ”I have yet to meet a female submissive who hasn’t had some sort of sexual assault happen to her.””

genuinely, in your position as a 'dom' what gratification could you possibly get from hearing someone say 'no'. even if it is consensual, even if it is cnc, even if it was planned beforehand, how can you be sure that that will not change your perception of the word 'no' in the long run? how can you be sure that it won't negatively affect the person saying no? what is appealing about someone telling you that they don't want to do that with you? how would that not make you feel repulsed or guilty?

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“Killing is not nearly as easy as the innocent believe.”

— J.K. Rowling. (via badger-actual)

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Deleted Tweets that went hard

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A lot of pro-kink/sex positivity/and even LGBT activists pushing for normalizing sex to children and teenagers either don't realize or don't care that exposing kids to sex is a form of child sexual abuse.

I cared for a girl from the ages of 12–14 after she was removed from her mother due to extensive terror and abuse. Her mom was in several open relationships and had zero sexual boundaries with her children. She walked around nude, walked right into the bathroom while they were showering or using the toilet, talking to them about her sex life, answering the phone to talk to her kids while she was actively having sex, etc.

When her kids would act embarrassed or want privacy, she would get outraged and lecture them about how sex was normal, it was fine, sex shaming was bad and inappropriate, etc.

The fact that she was exposing her child to sex showed up in the guardian ad litem report by a woman who worked 17 years as a CPS caseworker and was a practicing therapist prior to becoming a guardian ad litem, and she identified this lack of boundaries for what it was—sexual abuse.

So while I understand that oversheltering kids from sex causes social problems, I do not for one second trust anyone who centers exposing minors to sex as a concentrated social justice effort. Sex education done by trained professionals is fine. Me hearing a they/them with a mic throw on the Jesus camp voice at a Pride event cheering how it's now up to a bunch of adult strangers to "teach" kids about sex since conservatives won't and enthusiastically joke about and describe their kinks to a bunch of minors in the audience is not fine.

I will not forget that little girl saying to me in an emphatic voice "sex was everywhere".

You are part of the problem.

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I don't have to love my enemy.

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I'm encountering problems with the measuring tape.