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Dr. John Carter of Chicago

On February 14, 2000, you had plans to go out for dinner with your boyfriend, Dr. John Carter. You weren’t a doctor yourself, but you worked at the front desk of the E.R., a job that your boyfriend actually helped you get before he was your boyfriend.

It had been a particularly cold winter’s night in Chicago when you first met Dr. Carter. You were just passing through the city, and stopped to sit on a bench right outside the county hospital. You stared at the building, and thought back to the last time you were in a hospital. You shuddered at the thought.

“Mind if I join you?”

“No,” you answered.

The young man sat next to you, and you noticed that he was wearing a doctor’s coat.

“You work there?” you asked, gesturing to the hospital with your head.

“Yeah, in the E.R.”

“Good for you.”

The doctor laughed at that.

“Thanks.” There was a pause before he asked, “what brings you out here?”

“I was just trying to work up the courage to see if I could go in there.”

“You visiting someone? A patient?”

“Oh no, nothing like that.”

“Oh, are you interviewing for the desk clerk position?”

You stared at the doctor’s face.

“Yes,” you said. “Well, actually I don’t have an interview scheduled, I just heard about the opening. I was going to check it out, but hospital’s make me nervous.”

“Well, why don’t I walk inside with you?”

“Oh, no, you don’t have to do that,” you said.

“It’s no problem. Besides, my break’s almost up anyway, I gotta get back inside.”

He stood up and offered a hand to you.

“I’m John. Dr. Carter.”

You shook his hand and responded with your own name.

You walked inside with John, making idle chit chat along the way. He introduced you to Dr. Weaver, and you set up an interview with her for the following day. You aced the interview and got the job, despite the fact that you don’t actually live in Chicago. However, you had a good feeling about everything, so you extended your stay in your hotel, started apartment hunting, and sent for your things.

Despite your positive outlook on your new lease in life, things got off to a bit of a rocky start at your new job. You met a med student, Lucy Knight, and the two of you were constantly arguing and getting on each other’s nerves. Dr. Carter would often get stuck between your arguments, and because he knew Lucy better than you, he would often take Lucy’s side (or at least that’s how it felt to you). Eventually, despite the great first impression, you started to hate Dr. Carter too.

Much like the events that led you to moving to Chicago, it took an unfortunate turn of events for your relationships with your co-workers to mend. One day, while you were off, you had an unfortunate slip that landed you in the E.R., but as a patient. As fate would have it, Lucy wound up being the one assigned to you. Despite the bad blood between you two, she was very compassionate and understanding in her treatment of you. This made you feel guilty about how strained things were between the two of you, so you made the decision to mend things with her. Following that incident you quickly skyrocketed from enemies to the best of friends. As a result of your relationship with her improving, your relationship with Carter improved as well.

Once you stopped hating John, you quickly began to develop romantic feelings towards him. You didn’t mean for it to happen, but if John was treating a patient in a nearby room with the blinds open, you often found your gaze drifting to him.

“You should ask him out already,” a familiar voice suddenly said.

“What! Who?”

You looked towards the source and saw Lucy flashing you a goofy grin.

“It’s so obvious you like him.”

You debate denying it, but instead you whisper, “Is it?”

“You guys would make a really cute couple.”

Lucy walked off to tend to her own patient before you could respond, and once she was gone you were going to look at Carter again, but when you looked his way again he was facing you, and you two made eye contact. You were embarrassed, but he smiled and waved to you, so you awkwardly did the same and looked away, looking for something productive to do.

The next time you saw Lucy, she was asking you to meet her after your shift at a local restaurant. When you arrived, however, you saw John instead of Lucy. You found out that Lucy had invited him too, and then you both realized that Lucy had no intention of showing up herself. So, you allowed Cupid to work her magic, and the two of you shared what became your first date. It was successful, as you found out that John liked you as well, and ever since then you had become the E.R.’s “it” couple.

“Good morning!” you found yourself saying to practically everyone you saw, even though it was atypical behavior for you.

“Someone’s in a good mood,” Lucy said.

“And good morning to you too! And happy valentine’s day!”

Lucy laughed. “Can you maybe try to not be so happy? Us single people are trying to be miserable.”

“Well, it’s your fault I’m in a fulfilling relationship.”

“Yeah, I know, don’t remind me.”

You smiled as you took your winter wear off and stored it with your purse.

“So you and Carter got any plans for tonight?”

“As a matter of fact, we do. We’re going out for dinner tonight. Got a reservation at that new upscale Italian place.”

“Are you serious?” Lucy asked with a big grin on her face. “That place is supposed to be really nice, tell me you have a nice dress to wear.”

“Obviously,” you said with a grin.

“Hey,” Lucy said, getting serious. She looked around for open ears and then leaned in to you to whisper, “Do you think he’s gonna ask you tonight?”

“Ask me what?”

Lucy gave you a look and then you knew.

“Oh, the big question!”

“I mean, you guys have been together for a while…”

“I-I don’t know. I mean we talked about it, but… I don’t want to get my hopes up in case he doesn’t.”

“Whatcha guys talking about?” Chuny asked. You and Lucy looked at each other and laughed.

“Just my big night planned with John,” you said, “and I believe Lucy was just telling me about a patient she has to go see.”

“Right, I’ll catch up with you later.”

“Try not to kill anyone in your misery!”

You never would have guessed that those would be the last words you ever said to Lucy.

The day progressed like any other day, with the only exception being your jovial mood. Eventually the party in the E.R. got started, and you were deafened by the loud music.

You were all ready to go and had already punched out for the day. You and John had planned to meet at the front desk and were going to leave together, but when he approached you, he was still wearing his doctor’s coat and stethoscope.

“Hey babe,” you said to him as you shared a quick peck. “We gotta be leaving soon if we’re going to make that reservation.”

“I know, I just need to check on Lucy real quick.”

“Uh-oh. Was there a problem?”

“She was having some trouble with a psych patient. She went in a while ago, but she should be out by now. Wait just a sec, I want to make sure everything’s okay.”

“Okay, no worries.”

You waited at the desk and bobbed your head to the blasting music as you mixed with your co-workers. You saw the Valentine’s Day treats put out, and you probably would have snagged a small piece of something, but Lucy got it in your head that John might be proposing to you tonight, and that gave you a nervous stomach. You also were so nervous you had a hard time relaxing.

You sat down, and looked over your work even though you were already clocked out for the day. You tried not to do any of it, but there wasn’t much else to do.

“Don’t you and Carter have plans tonight?” Carol Hathaway asked you over the booming music.

“We do, but he wanted to check on a patient before we left. He said it’d be quick but he’s been in there for a while now. Maybe I should go check.”

You checked the hospital board and went to the room that Lucy’s patient was supposed to be in. When you opened the door, nothing could have prepared you for what you saw.

You ran out of the room screaming, but your cries for help were drowned by the music. You ran for the boombox and yanked the cord out of the wall. Everyone at the party turned to you, and you shouted as loud as you could.

“WE NEED DOCTORS! NOW!”

You ran back to the room, now with a medical entourage hot on your heels, where John and Lucy lay on the floor, bleeding out.

While John and Lucy were fighting for their lives in surgery, you were reduced to a nervous wreck. Not knowing where else to go, you went to your usual spot at the front desk, lost in a stream of prayers and tears. You kept looking back towards where they were being operated on, waiting for someone to come find you and update you on their conditions.

Mark Green and Elizabeth Corday had already left for their own romantic plans, but were rushed back to active duty when news of the incident reached them. When you saw them burst through the doors, you gave them a worried look. Corday didn’t seem to notice, but Mark made brief eye contact with you, and gave you a small nod, as if to reassure you.

“Hey Benton,” a weak John said as his colleague worked on him. “If I don’t make it-”

“That’s enough Carter. I don’t want to hear it.”

“Would you make sure... my girlfriend… gets my valentine’s day present?”

“You’ll be able to give it to her yourself. Just hang on, man.”

“It’s in my locker.”

After long hours, you receive the news that John is going to be just fine, but Lucy didn’t survive. John was only stabbed twice, but Lucy was stabbed several more times, and in critical areas. You worried that she might have made it if you found her sooner, but you were reassured that there was nothing you could have done. Ultimately what mattered is that you found John when you did, as he nearly didn’t make it, and wouldn’t have if he’d been left on the ground for much longer.

When John came out of his surgery, you waited by his side until he woke up.

“Hi John,” you said in a choked up voice. “You really scared me, you know?”

“I did? What-”

He winced in pain as he tried to get up.

“Don’t move,” you said to him as you gently put your hands on him. “Do you remember what happened to you?”

John nodded slowly.

“I was stabbed, I think. Then I went down, and… Lucy. Is she…?”

You started crying and shook your head.

“She didn’t make it, John.”

John closed his eyes and then looked away. You could see that he was starting to cry too. You reached for his hand and squeezed it.

“You’re going to be just fine, though, okay? You’re going to be okay, and they caught the psychopath that did this to you guys. He’s not going anywhere.”

As John proceeded down the road to recovery, he had some difficulties walking again. When he was first able to get out of bed, he had to use crutches, and went through some physical therapy. You still worked your usual shifts, and came by to visit John as often as possible, and if the timing worked out, you were able to help him through his physical therapy.

“I can do this,” you heard John’s voice as you got off the elevator.

“You’ve done enough, maybe you should relax for today.”

“No, I said I can do this, so you should let me do this!”

You braced yourself for what you knew you were walking into, and rounded the corner to see John struggling to keep himself up on a pair of crutches.

“Babe, do you need help?” you asked.

“No, I don’t. I’m just fine on my own, thank you.”

“Well it’s good to see you too,” you said with a scoff.

You followed your wobbly boyfriend back to his hospital room, and when it came time for him to get back in the bed, you tried to help him, but he pushed your arm away when you offered it to him.

“What is your problem, John?”

“My problem is that I’m not a cripple, so I’d really appreciate it if everyone would stop treating me like one.”

“I know that you’ve been through a lot, and I won’t even pretend to understand what you’re going through, because I don’t know, but what I do understand is that it’s been far from easy for you. I love you, and I am here for you to help you through this, whether you want me to or not.”

“Well you don’t have to keep visiting me so often. I’m fine.”

You sit down at the foot of his bed.

“I know you too well to know that you are not fine right now. And because I love you so much, I’m not going to let you push me away from you. If you don’t want me to help you with the physical therapy stuff, okay, I won’t. But I can be an ear for you to talk to. And if there’s anything else you need, you don’t be afraid to ask, okay?”

You grabbed John’s hand again, and squeezed it. He looked at you, smiled, and said “thank you,” in a weak voice.

John’s therapy and recovery progressed smoothly, and before you knew it, he was walking around without the crutches as if he never needed them to begin with.

“Look at you!” you said the first day you saw him without them. “You look like you could dance an actual jig.”

He laughed, swept you up in his arms, pounced on you with a playful kiss, and then said, “I don’t know about that, but what I can do is take you out for a celebratory dinner.”

“Oooh, I like the sound of that.”

That night, just as John promised, the two of you went out to dinner, and the two of you were both in the best of moods, when he got down on one knee besides the table.

“John, what are you-!”

“I love you so much. I don’t know where I’d be right now, without you. When I was fighting for my life, and recovering, I knew I wanted to make it through all that for you. And it was you staying by my side through everything that gave me the strength to be able to do it. Will you make me the happiest guy alive and marry me?”

“Of course! Yes!”

You had to help John back onto his feet, but once you did you let him slip the ring on your finger.

The next few months progress at a whirlwind pace. While John is still recovering from his traumatic experience and juggling his work responsibilities, he is now also trying to plan a wedding with you. You were so happy and so busy looking forward to the wedding, that you didn’t notice the change happening with your fiance. It wasn’t until one day at work, when Mark Greene pulled you aside.

“Are you aware that your fiance has developed a drug problem?”

“What are you talking about, drug problem? Are you seriously suggesting that he’s using? No way. No, John would never, especially not after what happened with Chase.”

“It’s true,” Abby said. “I didn’t want to believe it either, but I saw him inject fentanyl into his wrist.”

You just stared into Abby’s eyes for a few moments without saying anything. It then hit you that she was telling the truth. After all, why would she lie about this? You didn’t know Abby as well as you knew Lucy, but you knew her well enough to know she wasn’t the type to spread lies about this.

“He has been having trouble sleeping, he started smoking, he’s been extra jumpy and his mood’s been… oh God, why didn’t I notice this sooner?”

You put your hand over your mouth. Then when you removed it you added, “if he’s using, then all that makes sense. I thought it was stress, I never thought… I mean, we spend all our free time together, we’re planning a wedding together, so why didn’t I notice?”

“I couldn’t believe it either,” Weaver said gently as she approached you. “We all know John and this is unexpected for him, but we can’t just turn our backs and pretend this isn’t happening. We owe him that much.”

You got together with the other doctors and staged a mini intervention for John. When he was led into the room, the two of you locked eyes, and the look on his face scared you. This was not the John Carter you fell in love with. This was definitely not the John Carter you were planning on marrying. Beyond that, though, you also felt a little guilty that the first time you and John faced this together was in such a public setting.

“This is ridiculous, I don’t have time for this,” John said as he tried to leave.

“John, wait,” you said.

John stopped, looked at you, and then looked at Mark.

“Really? You got her involved in this? This is crazy, you guys know me! I’m not some drug addict, okay?”

“John, would you please just listen to what everyone has to say? Please.”

You choked back tears. You knew that Dr. Greene was about to tell him he had to go to rehab if he wanted to keep his job. You knew it wasn’t your plan, so even though he was your fiance, it wasn’t yours to share.

Your already breaking heart was further jeopardized when John stormed out of the room, declaring he had no intention of going to rehab.

“Carter,” Dr. Greene called.

“I got this,” you said. You followed John out of the room and into the employee lounge.

“Babe,” you said, getting him to stop putting on his winter coat, if only for a moment. “Can you talk to me? What’s going on with you?”

“There’s not much to say that hasn’t already been said. You heard it, they fired me.”

“You know just as well as I do that’s not what happened in there.”

“Do I? I mean everything is ridiculous! So what, that’s it, I’m gone, just because Abby says she saw me inject myself with fentanyl? I mean, that’s crazy! You don’t believe her, right? Right, hon?”

By this point you had followed John out of the ambulance bay, and you were standing right besides Dr. Greene’s van.

“John, get in the van.”

“I don’t believe this,” John said with an amused look on his face as he started to walk away.

“If you walk away, you walk away from everyone at this hospital. Including me.”

John stopped dead in his tracks at this.

“You’d really throw away everything we have together over some bogus accusation? I’m not a user! That’s not me.”

“If that’s what you’re sticking with, then I’ll do it. I’ll call you a liar, because I know you too well to know that is not the truth.”

You got closer to John.

“I didn’t want to lose you when you were attacked, and I don’t want to lose you now, but the person you are now isn’t the person I fell in love with, and you certainly aren’t the person that I want to marry. I just want my John back, not whatever version of you you’ve become.”

John broke down in tears, and you started crying right alongside him. You got him to get in the van, and when you arrived at the airport, you discovered that there was an extra seat available on the plane, so you bought it for yourself and went to Atlanta with him.

When you arrived at the rehab center, John seemed a bit out of it, so you went to check in for him. You got his paperwork on the clipboard and handed it to him. You watched as he tried to fill it out, but he seemed to have difficulties writing.

“This says ninety days,” John said.

“What?”

“This is a three month program,” John said. You looked where he was looking and saw that he was right.

“Babe, I swear I didn’t know, Dr. Greene just said that you needed help and this was the best place.”

You put an arm around him.

“It’s going to be okay, I-”

“This pen doesn’t even work,” John said in frustration as he threw his pen down.

“I’ll get you a new one, okay?”

You kissed the side of his head and picked up the pen from where it landed and walked to the window, where the receptionist was waiting.

“This pen’s dry, do you have another?”

As the receptionist reached for another one, you glanced back at John, realized he wasn’t looking your way, and then you leaned in and said in a lower voice, “I think he’s having withdrawal symptoms, is there something you can give him for that?”

“Once he checks in, we’ll get him anything he needs,” the receptionist dryly responded.

“His hands are cramping up, I think it’s making it hard for him to write. Does he really have to finish this before he gets help? Shouldn’t helping him be the priority?”

“We are helping him. By checking him in,” the receptionist said as she handed you a new pen. “It really will be better for him if he checks himself in.”

You nodded, then returned to your fiance with the new pen.

“I should get going back.”

“What, you don’t want to stay for the show?”

“John…”

“But if you’re going back to Chicago, would you mind sending me some clothes? Or do they issue prison gear here?”

You let out a sigh.

“I know this sucks, and I can’t say that I’m envious of you, but I will send you whatever you want, and I’m going to call you and visit you as often as they’ll let me.”

You gave John a kiss, then looked him in the eyes and said, “No matter how long it takes, I will wait for you. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

You started to walk away, and before you left the building you turned around and said, “Just focus on getting better!”

As soon as you heard the front doors close behind you, you started to cry.

In the three months that John spent in rehab, you talked almost every day. Unfortunately you weren’t able to visit him at all though. They did allow you to send care packages for him, and in your phone conversations he confirmed receiving every one.

When his three months were up, a doctor at the rehab center went to get Dr. John Carter.

“Your ninety days are up. Come on, you’ve got someone waiting for you.”

John was led down to the lobby, and as soon as he got there, he spotted you. You both donned big smiles upon seeing each other for the first time in three months. You were so giddy and excited that you couldn’t help yourself from running up to him and grabbing him in a big bear hug. He was so happy that he dropped his personal effects and hugged you right back. When you pulled away from the hug, you caught each other in a long kiss.

“I missed you so much,” you said.

“Oh, it’s so good to see you baby,” he said.

You walked out to your rental car, and you started driving.

“So I have a confession to make,” you said.

“What’s that?”

“Our flight for Chicago doesn’t leave for a few more hours, and I might have looked into something else we can do in the meantime, while we’re here in Atlanta together.”

“And what’d you have in mind?”

“What if, before we got on that plane, we got married?”

There was a silence before John said, “What, are you serious?”

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about everything, about us, these last few months, and I don’t need to get married to you in some fancy, big, over the top church wedding, or whatever your grandparents had in mind. All I want is to be married to you. And if it’ll make her happy, we can still go through the song and the dance of the ceremony I guess, but I don’t want any of that. I just want you.”

“And you’re sure? You absolutely mean it?”

“Yes. I don’t want to put you through the stress of wedding planning on top of everything you already have to juggle, and I want to be able to support you not as your fiance, but as your wife.”

“Okay then.”

“Really?”

“Let’s get married.”

“I’m glad you said that because we’re already on our way to the chapel.”

“You were that sure I was going to go along with it, huh?”

“Less confident and more hopeful.”

You arrived at the chapel and got checked in for your impromptu wedding ceremony.

“Wait just one sec, okay hon?”

“Yeah, sure.”

John disappeared into the bathroom, but took some of his personal items with him. When he came back out, several minutes later, the beard he had grown in rehab was gone.

“What happened to my Joey Fatone?”

“Joey Fatone? You think that beard made me look like Joey Fatone?”

“What, you mean the NSYNC is not what you were going for?”

John laughed, and then said, “Well I thought you might want a picture to commemorate this big day of ours, and I wanted to look my best for you.”

“Aw, you are the sweetest guy,” you said as you wrapped your arms around John’s neck. As you went in for a kiss, you were interrupted by the officiant loudly clearing his throat.

You back off from John long enough for the ceremony to be conducted, and you were officially married! You left the chapel with your commemorative photo, and got on the plane as originally planned.

You and John rode back to Chicago in first class, sitting side by side, with your hands clasped practically the entire ride back.

“I can’t believe we just did that,” John said. “Did we really just get married? Are we married now?”

You gave your new husband a goofy smile. “Yeah. We are. And we did,” you said dreamily.

“There’s just one thing we’re missing,” John said.

“And what’s that?”

“We forgot to consummate the marriage.”

You playfully push John away from you.

“Is that all you men think about?”

John laughed, but then you let your gaze wander to the airplane bathroom. You looked back at John.

“You wanna join the mile high club?”

He looked away with an embarrassed smirk.

About ten minutes later, the two of you opened up the lavatory doors to a sneering flight attendant.

“Really, Dr. Carter,” she said before she walked away.

“What was her problem?” John asked you quietly once she was far enough away.

“She was probably just jealous. Probably sucks to fly so much and not get into such an exclusive club.”

John laughed at that as the two of you returned to your seats, hand in hand.

By the time you arrived in Chicago, it was nighttime. You had left your car at the airport when you first flew out to meet Carter, so the two of you were able to get back in and drive away.

“Since we gotta drive past the hospital to go back to your place, you want to stop by? See anybody? Share the exciting news?”

“Nah, I’m pretty beat. As fun as joining the mile high club was, I think I’d rather just get into bed with my wife and consummate our marriage properly.”

“Ooh, I like the sound of that. Okay, no county it is. Oh!”

“What is it? You alright?”

“No, I’m fine, really. It’s just… I put a lot of thought into asking you to marry me while we were still in Atlanta, but in all this time I didn’t consider where we were going to live! Now that we’re married, it doesn’t really make sense for us to live apart. There shouldn’t be a your place and a my place anymore, just an our place.”

“You know what, you’re right,” John said. “And since I live with my grandparents, how about for now I move in with you? And your place can be our place.”

You smiled. “You got yourself a deal.”

You went by his grandparents’ house first.

“Should I come in with you?”

“Nah, I’ll be quick. You can keep the car warm.”

“Shouldn’t we go in and, you know? Tell them the good news.”

“They’ll be asleep, it’s late. We can tell them later.”

“Okay.”

After John gathered his essentials and got back in your car, you drove to your apartment and went straight for the bedroom. John immediately started undressing, but before you did the same, you went into your dresser and pulled out a box.

“What’s that?”

“The rings. I got them while you were in Atlanta.” You opened the box, and pulled out the gold band you had bought to be John’s wedding ring. “In my first marriage, it was my responsibility to buy the rings, so I thought I’d just do that again here. I got you a gold band because I always thought that gold looked better than platinum, plus my first husband wore a platinum ring so I wanted you to be different, and -”

“Honey?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s perfect.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

Carter took the ring from you, slipped it on his finger, and then held it up for you to see.

“Fits like a glove.”

You then began to kiss, and before you knew it you were in the bed with your new husband.

Life begins to adapt to your new normal. When you first return to work, you tell everyone with a goofy expression that you and John got married and he was your husband now. Everyone gives their congratulations.

Meanwhile, John attends AA meetings and gets moved into your new apartment, only for the two of you to realize it isn’t really big enough for two, so you move into a condo together. Once he is able to return to work, he is bogged down by several restrictions imposed on him by Greene and Weaver, but he is able to overcome them and eventually his job duties start to go back to what they were before.

One morning, you wake up to an empty condo, as your husband is already at the hospital for his shift. You have the day off today, so you looked forward to a day of cleaning and reading. As you start your day, however, you feel yourself overwhelmed by a wave of nausea. You also can’t help but notice that your period is late.

“Huh…”

You head out to the local drug store and buy yourself a pregnancy test. As you begin to think that you and John are on your way to becoming parents, you get giddy and excited. As a result of that, you can’t resist swinging by county to look for John.

“Hey honey,” he says when he spots you. You approach each other and share a peck. “What brings you by here? This is a nice surprise.”

“I just thought that you might want to have lunch with me. Are you free?”

“Well, if you can wait twenty minutes or so, I can be.”

“I think I can. Meet me at Doc Magoo’s?”

“You got it.”

You kissed again before he headed off to see a patient and you went across the street. You locked down a table at the restaurant and while waiting, you slipped into the women’s room with the pregnancy test. You walked back to your table with the test, and your heart sank when the result came in - negative. You weren’t pregnant after all.

You weren’t trying to get pregnant, but you were really heartbroken to see that you weren’t. You were indifferent to the idea of having kids and didn’t think John was ready to become a father, but you were still disappointed.

You sat there, staring at the test when John walked in.

“Hey, you okay? What do you have there?”

John looked over your hands and sees for himself, while you remain silent.

“That’s a pregnancy test. A negative pregnancy test.”

John looks back at your face and says, “If you want a baby, we can start trying for one.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. We can even start tonight if that’s what you want.”

You wiped a tear away from your face, put the pregnancy test in your purse, and reached for John’s hands.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.”

You don’t spend much time trying before you find yourself hurling in a trash can behind the desk at work.

“Are you all right?” a concerned Dr. Weaver asked.

“Yeah, I think so. By any chance do we have any pregnancy tests I could use? You can take it out of my paycheck.”

“Why don’t you come with me to curtain three?”

Weaver gave you a cup to pee in and you obliged.

“Okay, I’m going to have to run a pregnancy test on this, I’ll be back in just a moment with the results.”

“All right, and Dr. Weaver?”

“Yes?”

“If you run into John out there, there’s no reason to hide any of this from him.”

“Okay,” Weaver said with a smile.

Weaver took your sample to be tested, and was on her way back to you with the result when a trauma came in that needed her immediate attention. Lucky for her, she spotted Carter walking down the hallway.

“Carter, I gotta take this. Can you give the patient in curtain three the result of her test please?”

“Sure thing,” Carter said as he took the chart from Weaver. As he walked towards you, he looked at the chart and saw that the chart showed a positive result on a pregnancy test. When he looked at the top of the chart for the name, he froze when he saw it was you. He double checked the test result, and then your name again. Once it sunk in, he practically sprinted the rest of the way, and flung the door open when he arrived there.

“John!” you said in surprise. “I told Dr. Weaver she could tell you, but I didn’t mean for her to hand me off to you.”

John wore a big smile as he held up the chart.

“What?” you asked, smiling also.

“This chart says you're pregnant,” he said.

You looked at John, surprised.

“Really? I am? For real this time?”

“Yeah… you really are.”

You got off the bed and ran up to your husband, and embraced him.

“We did it,” you said.

“God, I love you so much,” he said.

Your pregnancy was progressing well, but only a couple of weeks after you two received the news, you found out that John broke his sobriety by taking two Vicodin. He immediately threw them back up, but that didn’t change the fact that he took them.

“I don’t understand why you would do something like that, John,” you said through tears. “We have both risked so much for you to get another chance you were lucky to have, and now you’re jeopardizing this for what? A quick high?”

“I honestly don’t even know why I did it, I really don’t,” John said.

You started to leave, but stopped when you heard John say, “Please don’t go.”

You faced him and your expression softened.

“You mean everything to me,” John started, his voice breaking. “I love you so much, and I’m already crazy about that little jellybean in your belly.”

You laughed slightly at that.

“Ever since we found out, the baby is the first thing I think about when I wake up, the last thing I think about before I go to bed, and I think about them all day. Most of the time I’m really excited and I can’t wait to meet them, but then there are other times when I get really scared, that I’m not going to be a good enough father. I was just in rehab, and that’s not the example I want to set for our child.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay babe,” you said, trying to comfort him. “I’m scared about being a mom, but nobody’s perfect either. Everyone makes mistakes. Sure, you were in rehab, but the point of that isn’t that you had a problem, but that you made a sacrifice to fix a problem not because you wanted to, but because you understood that you needed to. And that is the greatest example I could ever think of.”

John smiled, and then the two of you shared a kiss.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you too.”

Unfortunately, you two would not have the chance to become parents to your unborn baby.

You and John had agreed that you wanted to find out the sex of your baby. You thought it would be fun to find out the gender by yourself, and surprise him with it. You secretly made yourself an OB appointment at the hospital, but the appointment did not go as you planned. When the ultrasound was done, they saw that the baby was a boy, but he was not alive. There was no heartbeat. You broke down and started crying uncontrollably.

“Is there someone we can call for you?”

“My husband. He works in the ER. Dr. John Carter.”

Down in the E.R., it was Randi who took the call from OB.

“Dr. Carter, they need you up in OB.”

“OB? What for?”

“They said your wife’s up there.”

“Is she okay?”

“I don’t know. They just said you need to get up there.”

Before long you saw your worried husband through the window of your room.

“Hey, they told me you were up here, is everything okay?”

You shook your head and told him, “I lost the baby, John.”

You started crying again and he sat down next to you so he could hold you.

“I’m so sorry,” you said.

“Hey, it’s okay. This wasn’t your fault. These things just happen.”

“No, but it is. It is my fault. I was supposed to carry him, help him grow until he was ready.”

“He?”

You nodded. “They said… that the baby was going to be a boy. Our little boy… and he’s…”

John held you as you cried, and kept reassuring you that the baby’s death wasn’t your fault.

Losing your baby made you depressed. A few nights later, when John tried to have intimate relations with you, you refused, saying you weren’t in the mood. John was supportive and let the issue drop, hoping you would initiate when you were ready. However, days turned into weeks which turned into months and John was starting to get frustrated.

“Hey Abby, you got a second?”

“Sure John, what’s up?”

“It’s about my wife.”

“Is she okay?”

“Not really. She’s just been really depressed lately.”

“Well that’s to be expected. I mean, she did lose her baby - your baby.”

“I know, but it’s been months and she doesn’t seem like she’s getting any better. Everything I try just doesn’t seem to work, she doesn’t care about anything, and I’m honestly starting to lose it.”

Abby hesitated before she said, “I think I might be able to help.”

After Abby left Carter’s presence, she walked over to you at the reception desk.

“Hey,” she said with a smile.

“Hi,” you said dryly.

“So I was thinking that it’s been a while since you, me, John and Luka all did something together.”

“Like a double date?”

“Yeah, exactly!”

“I’m sorry Abby, but when have the four of us ever been together like that?”

“And that is exactly my point! We should do something!”

“I… don’t know Abby.”

“All right, then let’s forget the men, just you and me.”

“Abby.”

“Don’t do it for you, do it for me. Please.”

You looked into Abby’s eyes and saw that her cheerfulness had faded.

“Okay. Okay, yeah, sure. And we can involve the guys too.”

“Great!”

You and Abby made plans for you and John to entertain her and Luka that very night. You had all gone out to eat prior and wound up back at your condo for drinks.

You had a state-of-the-art stereo system hooked up to your TV set. Luke noticed it first and started asking about it, which prompted John to show it off.

“What! That is so cool!” a drunk Abby proclaimed as you and her staggered over to where the designated drivers were. “Let me try!”

Abby tried to adjust the stereo system, but started turning the wrong dials.

“That’s. Not. Right!” you added. “It’s like this, watch,” you said, slurring your words. Despite how intoxicated you were, you were able to do what Abby couldn’t successfully. “I can’t believe you tried it like this!”

You and Abby both got lost in an uproar of uncontrollable laughter, leaving Luka and John to watch.

“Maybe it’s time I got her to bed,” Luka said.

“Yeah, maybe,” John laughed.

As Luka helped Abby out the door, John came over to you.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drunk like this.”

You gave an exaggerated shrug. “I’ve never lost a baby before, so there’s that! I mean, I’m supposed to be pregnant right now, but I’m not! Whoops!”

“I think we should get you to bed too.”

“But I’m not sleepy.”

“Doctor’s orders.”

“Oh, I get it, it’s a sex thing! Okay!”

You then started to undress yourself.

“I think you should sober up a bit first.”

“Aw, come on… Dr. Cutie! Don’t you wanna, baby?”

“Oh believe me I do, but I don’t think you’ll be happy with either one of us if we do it now.”

“Suit yourself, but I don’t know how you’re gonna put another baby in me if we don’t do it!”

“Okay, we are not having this conversation while you’re drunk.”

“Whatever, man! I don’t need you! I’ll make my… own…”

You then passed out in your bed and John rolled you over onto your side, just to be safe.

The next morning when you sobered up, you rubbed your head.

“John…? John?”

“Hey, you’re awake!”

You put your hands over your ears and winced as he came into the room.

“I’m sorry. I don’t remember what happened exactly. I think I overdid it.”

“I’ll say. What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I was at the bar, alone with Abby while you and Dr. Kovac were parking your cars, and we got really… real with each other, and we just kept drinking. Dinner’s kind of a blur but I remember going back to our place, and I think I remember Abby talking to a robot, but that can’t be right.”

John laughed at that. “If by robot, you mean our stereo system?”

“Oh no, she must have overdone it too. Did she and Luka make it back okay?”

“As far as I know.”

You got out of bed and staggered into the kitchen, where you saw breakfast already cooked and served up on an untouched plate.

“I made you breakfast. And coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.”

“You’re a saint,” you said. “I think I’m probably gonna need more than coffee though. I don’t think I’ve ever drank that much in my life, I’m probably gonna need one of those home remedies.”

John shook his head as he drank his own cup of coffee.

“Those are terrible. Trust me, you’re better off with an extra cup of coffee.”

“Is that your medical opinion?”

“It’s my official order… as Dr. Cutie.”

You nearly did a spit take at that.

“Did I call you that last night?”

John nodded with a big smile on his face, and you hid your face in your hands.

“Please tell me it was not in front of Abby and Luka.”

“No no, they had already left by then.”

“Oh thank God,” you said as you lowered your face to your kitchen counter. You then lifted it up and asked John, “What else did I say last night?”

“You tried to have sex with me.”

“I did?”

“And when I refused, you said something about making another baby by yourself before you passed out.”

“I did, huh?”

“What did you and Abby talk about, anyway?”

The truth was, Abby had come clean to you about an abortion she had while she was still married to her ex-husband. Abby felt that her mother forced her to get the abortion, but otherwise she would have wanted the baby. You didn’t think that was information Abby offered up easily; you assumed she only told you because you lost your own baby. Hell, Luka might not have even known.

“She just said how sorry she was, about me losing the baby.”

“Is that it?”

“John, I know that these past few months can’t have been any easier for you then they have been for me. I was around the same point in my pregnancy as Dr. Corday and my due date was only two weeks after hers. Every time I see her, and her belly, I can’t help but think, that should be me. I should be there with her, but I’m not. Her baby gets to live and ours died before he even got the chance to be born, and I just don’t know how to reconcile that with myself. I want to be happy for them, because they’re my friends, but I’m just so bitter. Why me? Why us? Why our baby?”

You started crying and John came around the counter to hug you.

“I’m tired of feeling like this, and I know that if we get pregnant again, it’s not going to make this go away, it’s not going to fix anything. But I want to start trying again.”

“Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

You nodded. “Yeah… Yeah, I think I am. Are you?”

John just smiled, and then the two of you shared a kiss. As you kissed you tried to remove John’s bathrobe, but he stopped you.

“As much as I’d love to, right now, we are both on at 11 today, and we need to get going.”

“But I’ve kept you waiting so long…”

“Which is why I think I can survive another shift before we do that. I mean, don’t you want our first time in a while to be special?”

You smiled. “That is kind of romantic of you, and I am kind of a sucker for romance.”

“Plus if you get pregnant again, do you really want to have to tell our kid we made them in a pre-work quickie?”

You froze at that.

“I’m sorry, but we’re planning on telling our kid how they were conceived? I don’t even know how I was conceived, and I like it that way.”

“Which is exactly why it’ll be such a great deterrent for our future kid.”

You gave John a playful shove as you returned to your breakfast.

“I’m not even pregnant yet and you’re already planning on how to parent a teenager.”

John shrugs as he starts eating himself. “I’ve seen enough kids with STD’s in the ER for a lifetime.”

After getting off that day’s shift, John tries to take you out for a nice dinner before you go home.

“Are you sure? I mean, aren’t you anxious for the main event?”

“Well you said it yourself, you’re a sucker for romance! I thought you might want to be, I dunno, wined and dined first.”

“Oh no, not after last night. I was actually thinking about just going straight home, maybe get some takeout after? But if you really want a fancy candlelit dinner-”

“No. No, straight home’s fine with me.”

As promised, your version of the night is exactly how it played out.

You and Carter started trying again, but it took longer to get pregnant this time around. Whenever you felt disheartened by that, you tried to convince yourself that you weren’t as willing as you were before, and since Carter made Chief Resident, he had more responsibilities which meant longer hours, which meant both less free time, and less energy to expend during the free time he did have.

Before you could get pregnant again, you received word that John’s grandfather passed away. You attended the funeral and got a rare sighting of John’s parents.

“I should go check on Gamma,” John said, trying to get away.

“If you want to help your grandmother, you’ll be a good host in her stead. There’s a senator here that you should introduce yourself to.”

“Mom, she just lost her husband.”

“It’s okay,” you said, lightly resting your hand on John’s arm. “I’ll go.” You shot daggers at your mother-in-law before you turned and went looking for her.

As you searched the ridiculously large house, you were surprised to hear swearing coming from the garage in a familiar voice.

“Mrs. Carter?” you called out.

“Oh, it’s you dear,” she said. “I can’t get this car to start.”

“Well, I don’t know much about cars, but I can try.”

“Where’s John? Isn’t he with you?”

“No. Well I mean he’s here at the wake, but your daughter-in-law thought it was his job to entertain?”

Mrs. Carter scoffed at that.

“I don’t know why I ever let my son marry that insufferable woman.”

You let a slight laugh escape at the sheer surprise of hearing that.

“Well, I admit she’s no walk in the park, but I for one am happy they got married. But then again, I am a little biased.”

“Yes, John is a wonderful man. You two are very lucky to have each other.”

Mrs. Carter looked like she was about to cry, so you reached over and squeezed her hand.

“Did you know that John isn’t my first husband?”

“Yes, I believe John mentioned that.”

“Did he ever tell you what happened? Why I’m not married to that man anymore?”

“I don’t think he told me the reason for your divorce, no.”

You gave a small smile at that.

“No, Mrs. Carter… I’m not divorced.”

You looked into Mrs. Carter’s eyes until her confusion morphed into understanding.

“He was only three years older than John is now. A genetic condition; most people with it die in their thirties. He told me about it when we first started dating, so I knew what I was getting into, but I was young, in love, and hopelessly optimistic about the advances they were making in medicine. He was on multiple medications to manage the symptoms, but eventually… his heart just stopped. I had to sign a DNR on him so they didn’t even try to bring him back once he went.

“But one good thing came out of that is that his death started the chain of events that lead me to meeting your grandson, and it all seems worth it to me now.”

Mrs. Carter scoffed at that.

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do dear, but I think I’m a little old to be looking for my one true love. My John was my soulmate.”

“I know, please don’t get the wrong idea, Mrs. Carter, but-”

“Gamma.”

“I’m sorry?”

“You don’t need to call me Mrs. Carter when you’re a Mrs. Carter yourself. You’re my grandson’s wife, not his teenage girlfriend. And you’re practically my own granddaughter, so if Gamma is good enough for him, I think it’ll do nicely for you.”

“Wow, that’s… I mean, are you sure? It’s okay… Gamma?”

You hated the way it sounded coming from you, but it made her smile.

“You’re part of the family now. Of course it’s all right.”

“Okay. Okay, wow, thanks.”

Gamma then took a bottle of wine from the car floor.

“We were saving this for our 60th wedding anniversary, but he missed it by a year. We shouldn’t let it go to waste.”

“Oh no, I can’t.”

“You’re not pregnant, are you?”

“No, I just meant that maybe you could save it for another occasion. I mean, it seems like a waste to share it with me.”

“I insist, from one widow to another.”

You smiled. “Should we get glasses first?”

“Like I said, you’re family. We can share the bottle.”

“Gamma! Are you sure? I mean, I kiss your grandson with this mouth.”

“I’ve already lost my husband. What else do I have to lose?”

You laughed, and then indulged your husband’s grandmother. It was fun until she finally got her husband’s car started, and she opened the garage door.

“What are we going to do now, ride off into the sunset?”

“You bet we are.”

Gamma drove off, and you wanted to stop her, but at the same time you were afraid to stop her. You knew that you did some embarrassing things when your first husband died, and you were thankful that your family just gave you space to do what you needed to do. You drove past the people there for the wake, including your husband, who spotted the two of you in the convertible.

One evening, you found yourself walking into the hospital when you and John didn’t have synced up schedules. Dr. Weaver of course knew that you two were married, and whenever you could you advocated for the two of you having the same shifts, but it didn’t always work out that way.

You were just starting, but John had already been there for hours. You didn’t see him right away, so you clocked in and went straight to work. After working for about ten minutes, you saw him walk by with a distressed look on his face. He didn’t even notice you.

“Babe,” you called out, getting his attention, “is everything okay?”

“No… it’s Gamma.”

“Gamma? What’s going on, what happened?”

“Her driver brought her in, said she fainted.”

“Do you know why yet?”

“No not yet. Everything I check seems normal, which-”

“Is both good and bad. I may not be a doctor, but I’ve worked here long enough to get the basics. Plus being married to a doctor also helps.”

John gave a weak smile at that, but you could see that he was barely keeping it together.

“Is she still here?”

“Yeah, but she’s getting restless, she wants to leave.”

“I’ll go talk to her.”

You went to where Gamma was being kept. When she saw you walk into the room she smiled and called you by name.

“Hi Gamma, John told me you fainted.”

“He’s exaggerating. I may have gotten a little faint but I never lost consciousness.”

“I see. Well, John’s just worried about you, you know. He already lost his grandfather, and before that he lost a brother… and a son… and I think he’s just worried about losing you too. We both are.”

“I’m just fine. In my day it was perfectly normal for a lady to swoon.”

“When my first husband died, I wanted to join him. I mean, I never made any attempts to; I never even had any serious plans to. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about it. And I know that I gave up on everything in my life because I was so depressed I didn’t care. I quit the job I had at the time, I hardly got out of bed or ate anything. And the things I used to love brought me no joy at all. There were some days when I’d go to bed at night and I’d think, if I never woke up again, that it wouldn’t be so bad. And then when I did wake up, I would just lie there for hours, because I couldn’t find a reason to get out of bed.”

“Why are you telling me all this?”

“Because I’ve been where you are, and I want you to know that I understand what you’re going through, and that it’s normal. And I’ve also been where John is too. I was a hypochondriac about everyone around me after he died, because I thought, if I could lose him, I could lose anyone at any time. I don’t want to see him scared anymore than I’m sure you would, so I guess this is just a really roundabout way for me to ask you to take care of yourself? I’m glad I didn’t die with my first husband, and I lived so that I could meet John. So if you don’t want to take care of yourself for you, would you do it for those of us that care about you?”

John’s grandmother smiled and put her hand on the side of your face.

“I’m so thankful that my grandson found you. You are such an angel.”

You blushed at that.

“So you’ll do it?”

“I suppose I can. But only if I can get out of this place.”

John wasn’t happy about Gamma leaving before he could finish running the full list of tests he wanted, but you told him she agreed to take care of herself.

“Yeah right. I have a feeling that if she doesn’t take me seriously, she’s not going to listen to you either.”

You shrugged at that. “I may not wear the stethoscope in the family, but we have a special bond.”

“What, did you have a heart-to-heart with her, woman-to-woman?”

“It was more like widow-to-widow, but I was referring to our shared interest in you.”

“Me? What have I got to do with this?”

“I told her that if she won’t take care of herself for herself, she should do it so you don’t have to lose another grandparent so soon.”

“You said that to her?”

“Not exactly in those words, but basically, yeah.”

“Well, I guess time will tell.” John then walked away to resume his job and you got back to yours.

Some days later, you took a home pregnancy test at the hospital during your break, and to your delight it came back positive. You were so excited you wanted nothing more than to tell John immediately, but when you came out of the bathroom, you saw Gamma being wheeled in on a gurney, with John at her side.

“Gamma!”

You instantly lost your smile and ran over to follow. She said your name when she saw you.

“What happened? Are you okay?”

“She was walking to the table for breakfast and she collapsed. Her butler called it in,” John answered.

“I’m fine, really! None of this is necessary.”

John ended up sending her up to one of the upper floors to have some tests run on her. When John came back down to the E.R., you asked him how she was.

“It looks like she has a degenerative condition. Once diagnosed, most patients don’t live more than ten years.”

“Oh God, John I’m so sorry,” you said as you embraced him. “I’m guessing you’re getting her started on some sort of treatment for this?”

“I’m trying, but she’s still not taking any of this seriously. She thinks ten years is plenty of time and she just wants to go home.”

“Still?”

“I guess your bond with her wasn’t as strong as you thought, huh?”

“I’m going to go talk to her.”

“Again?”

“I have another angle to try.”

“All right, well, tell her I said hi,” John said before he kissed you and went back to the ER.

You went up and found Gamma’s room and went inside.

“Did John send you?”

“No, I came of my own volition. He actually didn’t see the point. He seems to think that if he can’t get you to do what he wants, it’s pointless for me to even try.”

“Well I have known John a lot longer than you.”

“True.”

You sat down in a chair next to her bed.

“I thought you promised me that you were going to take better care of yourself.”

“I was. I don’t know why I fainted.”

“But you could tell me why you raised such a fuss when they brought you in. And why you’re in such a hurry even though John wants you to stay longer.”

“Well I have given some thought to what you said, which is why I didn’t want to worry John.”

“Uh-huh. Well if you’re not in here, especially if you leave on your terms instead of his, he’s just going to worry about you, probably more so than if you stay here.”

“Well, I don’t see why it’s such a big deal. I wasn’t even planning on living another ten years anyhow.”

You looked down, considered your next words, and then spoke slowly.

“Do you remember how the last time we talked, I told you that I didn’t take very good care of myself when I became a widow, but I’m glad I lived so I could meet John?”

“I recall that sentiment.”

“Well, now I’m asking you, if you want to be around to meet your great-grandchild?”

Gamma gave you a serious look. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, congratulations, dear!”

“Thank you,” you said before you hugged her.

“But if you’re expecting, why didn’t John say anything to me when we were talking before?”

“Because John doesn’t know yet. I actually just found out today and I haven’t had a chance to tell him yet. So if you could do me another favor, and not tell him until I get the chance to, I’d appreciate it.”

“Of course, dear.”

Gamma agreed to stay longer, but neither you nor her told John about the pregnancy. He was preoccupied with worrying about Gamma, and you didn’t want to overload him. Even though you wanted him to know, you kept it to yourself until you could find the right time.

Before you have the chance to tell John the news, you find him on the floor, hiding behind the reception desk on the phone. Concerned, you get closer and realize the scared look on his face. He glances over at you and makes eye contact, but continues his conversation. You only hear his side of the conversation, but you know he’s talking to Gamma.

“Gamma?” you mouth to him. He nods. You stay by his side until he hangs up the phone in frustration.

“She called me from her car. I told her that she shouldn’t be driving, and she told me she’s already been driving for the past two hours.”

“Two hours? Where’s she even going?”

“She’s not going anywhere. She says she’s doing it just to prove to me that she can.”

You shook your head. “I swear, it’s like she’s become an entirely different person since your grandfather.” You then hesitated, and saw how distressed John was, so you sat next to him and put your hand on his leg.

“We could always call the police.”

“I’m not calling the police on Gamma.”

You looked at his face, and it drove you mad that you couldn’t tell him you were pregnant. You wanted to desperately, but you knew it wasn’t the right time.

Alders wound up bringing Gamma in later that night. She had hit a dog in the road and hurt her head. John went up with her to get a CAT scan, and when she came out of the imaging machine, she was delirious.

“Call your grandfather, have him come pick me up right away.”

“Grandpa’s not here, Gamma.”

“Well call him.”

“Grandpa’s dead.”

“Right, yes, of course. How’s your wife John?”

“She’s fine.”

“How far along is she?”

“In what?”

“She’s pregnant, isn’t she?”

“No, she lost the baby.”

“Again? Oh dear, I’m so sorry John.”

“Again? What do you mean again? She’s only been pregnant once.”

“But, she told me she was pregnant.”

“When was this?”

“The last time I was in the hospital. She said I was going to be a great-grandmother.”

“She told you this?”

“Yes, I’m sure of it. And she told me not to tell you until she told you herself. She did tell you, didn’t she?”

“No. No, she didn’t.”

Once John made sure that his grandmother was going to be okay, he went looking for you immediately.

“How’s Gamma doing?”

“She’s going to be here for a few days, but she’ll be okay.”

“That’s a relief.”

“She got confused, though.”

“Oh no, what happened?”

“It was less about what happened, and more about what she said.”

“Like?”

“She said you were pregnant.”

“Really.”

John nodded. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

You froze as you tried to figure out how to tell him.

“You’re not denying it,” John said.

“I was going to wait until we were sure your grandmother was going to be okay. It didn’t seem right to spring it on you while you were going through what you were going through with her.”

“So you’re really pregnant,” John said with a smile.

“Yeah. Yeah, I really am.”

“Did you tell anyone else?”

“No. Not unless you count the OB office. I already made an appointment.”

“Wow… I-I can’t believe it. I can’t believe you would tell my grandmother before me.”

“I didn’t want to, but I thought I was helping her! She seemed so excited, I thought maybe wanting to meet her great-grandchild might want her to - wait, you’re smiling! You’re not mad! Why didn’t you let me think you were mad about this!”

“Because you’re so cute when you get all worked up.”

You pouted at him, but that only made him laugh.

“You do realize you’re proving my point, right?”

You two quietly celebrated the pregnancy, and kept the news of your baby secret for a while. You were still afraid you could have another miscarriage, and you didn’t want to have to go through all the sympathy again if you lost this baby too.

You didn’t tell anyone at County, but you did tell your family. While you were still in your first trimester, you learned that, for the first time in nine years, John’s parents would be joining you for Christmas.

“I still can’t believe it,” John said as the two of you sat down at Doc Magoo’s.

“Do you think it’s because of the baby or Gamma’s hip?”

John let out a long breath and said, “Both?”

Your father-in-law arrived first and said that your mother-in-law wouldn’t be joining you until later. You and John were going to meet his father for lunch after he got in, but when you were getting ready to leave, you couldn’t seem to get away from the bathroom.

“You okay?” John asked when you finally came out.

“Yes and no. It’s just morning sickness, but it’s morning sickness. I think maybe you should just go ahead without me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I mean, it might be nice for the two of you to spend some quality time together, one-on-one.”

John looked at you while he thought about it.

“Are you sure you’re gonna be all right?”

“I’m pregnant, not dying. I’m sure.”

John still seemed uneasy about it, so you added, “If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll let you take my temperature.”

With that, John was convinced. He went to meet his dad alone while you called out sick from the E.R..

“I thought your wife was going to join us,” Mr. Carter said.

“Ah, she wasn’t feeling too good. Pregnancy stuff.”

Mr. Carter got a wistful look in his eye.

“I can hardly believe my son’s about to become a father.”

“I know. I’m still having a hard time accepting it myself, sometimes.”

“You’re gonna be a great father, John.”

“Thanks,” John said. “To be honest with you, I’m terrified.”

“It’ll pass,” Mr. Carter said. “I was a nervous wreck when your mother told me she was pregnant.”

“Were you really?”

“Oh, absolutely. But… you turned out great,” Mr. Carter said. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks. You might be the only one who feels that way.”

“Maybe your mother and grandmother don’t say it much, but they still think it.”

“Speaking of Mom, what sort of business is keeping her in December, anyway?”

Mr. Carter dropped the bombshell that he had left his wife and the two were getting a divorce.

“That’s too freaky,” you said as you rubbed your stomach. “My parents called it quits after thirty years too. Although it was my mom’s call, and there was another man.”

“And the worst of it is, my dad says I inspired him to leave her.”

“You’re kidding! Why on earth would he think that?”

“I may have said something to him at my grandpa’s wake.”

“Oh John… well it can’t be your fault.”

“I know it’s not.”

“Whatever you said, I’m sure he’s just twisting your words.”

“I told him that if my mom wanted to be miserable, that’s fine, but he shouldn’t let her make him miserable too.”

“And his solution was to leave her?” You shook your head.

“So now both our parents have gotten divorced, huh?” you said.

“It looks that way, yeah.”

“You don’t think… you and I will ever…?”

“No. No, of course not,” John said as he pulled you into a hug. “We’re not like them. Besides, even if we do… we’ve got to at least wait until this one leaves the nest.” John rested his hand on your belly as he said this.

“And don’t forget their younger sibling.”

“You haven’t even had this kid yet and you’re already planning your future pregnancies?”

“Is that a problem?”

John just looked at you and smiled.

The following month, John’s mother did turn up, out of the blue and unannounced. Despite your father-in-law no longer being around, she decided she was going to stay with John’s grandmother. As a result, she was always over there whenever John paid his grandmother a visit. She even started visiting him at work. Eventually, tensions rose to a fever pitch.

“I don’t understand what you’re doing,” John said to her. “You weren’t around for me before, and now what? You just show up and think you can make up for Bobby by helping this kid? Or are you here because of your grandchild?”

“John…”

“You think you can be a good grandmother when you couldn’t even be my mother? Bobby died and I lost my mom. You don’t get to just show up and try again on my kid, or some dying orphan.”

John and his mother wound up tending to a dying leukemia kid, while down in the E.R., you noticed the breakfast spread on the reception counter, and your stomach started churning.

“You had a bagel yet?” Dr. Lewis asked as she walked up to grab herself one.

“No…” you moaned as you rubbed your stomach.

“Are you all right?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve just been feeling a little nauseous.”

You looked up at Dr. Lewis’s face and nearly gave yourself a heart attack when you realized she was studying you.

“Have you put on a little weight?”

“Oh, um, I don’t know, maybe a little.”

“Specifically in…” Dr. Lewis motioned to her own stomach.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Dr. Lewis let the matter drop, but walked away with a smile on her face. Later, you came to consider your aversion to the bagels a blessing when your indulgent colleagues began to drop like flies all around you, leaving you and some random temp they found who-knows-where to run the E.R. desk.

“You sure you should be putting all this stress on yourself?” Dr. Lewis asked you weakly as she leaned on the counter for support. “Given your condition.”

“I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

Dr. Lewis shot you a look, so you quickly came around the counter and whispered, “Did John tell you?”

“No. I’m a doctor, remember?”

“Would you please just not tell anyone? I don’t want to have to go through all the sympathies again if I don’t have this baby.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, I guess you were away when it happened. I was pregnant before, but I lost the baby while I was still in my first trimester.”

“Oh no, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Thanks.”

Your gaze wandered over to Mark as he worked on a patient in a nearby room.

“My baby would’ve only been a couple of weeks younger than Dr. Greene’s. It’s been hard watching their child grow up while mine couldn’t, but now… hard to believe all of this is happening. I’m having another one, and God forbid little Ella doesn’t pull through.”

“She’ll be okay,” Susan said. “She has to be.”

Dr. Lewis walked away and then you were approached by Dr. Chen.

“So how far along are you?”

“Seriously? You know too? Is it that obvious?”

Dr. Chen gave you an innocent look and said, “Carter told me.”

“Oh did he now?” Dr. Chen held up her hands in surrender.

When you next saw John, it was when him and his mother finally came down from helping the orphan with leukemia. You clocked out once the E.R. calmed down, and left the hospital with your husband and his mother.

“So Dr. Chen knows I’m pregnant.”

“Does she?”

“Don’t act so surprised, she told me you told her.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. We were talking about her kid and it just sort of slipped out.”

“Dr. Lewis knows too.”

“You told her?” John asked, sounding amused.

“No,” you said. “She figured it out. I tried to deny it but she wouldn’t leave it alone, so I had to come clean and ask her not to tell anyone. Did you tell Dr. Chen not to tell anyone too?”

“Of course, but-”

“But what?”

“You work with doctors and nurses. Susan’s probably not even the first to figure it out, just the first one to say something to you about it.”

You thought about that and let out a long breath.

“Maybe we don’t have to hide it,” you started slowly, “but I don’t think we need to go out of our way to announce it, either.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, if we’re this bad at hiding it, we might as well not hide it. But I mean it! No going out of your way to tell anyone, just if someone asks, don’t say no.”

John laughed at that. Then it hit you.

“Abby knows too, doesn’t she?”

John agreed to your plan, and even though you didn’t announce it, everyone found out pretty quickly.

When it came time for you to give birth, you were at home, but John was working. John was away from the hospital, as there was a casualty event that required a doctor on site. He was in an ambulance on route to the event when you called him on his cell phone.

“This is Dr. Carter.”

“John…”

“Hey honey, are you alright? Is everything okay?”

“I think it’s starting. Can you come home and get me? I think I need to go to the hospital.”

“Right, okay, I’ll uh, be there as soon as I can.”

“Oh God, are you in surgery?”

“I’m on my way to an accident.”

“You’re in an ambulance? Why?”

“They needed a doctor, and - look, just let me check out these guys and I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Okay… ah!”

“Hon?”

“Contractions are getting closer together. I don’t want a home birth, but if you don’t get here soon we may not have a choice.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there as fast I can, okay? Just keep breathing.”

After Carter hung up the phone, he slipped it into his front pocket.

“Everything okay, Dr. Carter?”

“No. My wife’s in labor.”

“How many does that make for you?” the paramedic asked.

“It’s our first.”

“What are you doing in this ambulance then?”

Carter and the others checked out all the people in the car accident, but no one was seriously injured enough to have to be taken back to County. John then convinced the other paramedics to go by your place to get you.

“Honey?!” John called as he burst through your door.

“In here!” you called from your bedroom.

“I’m gonna check how far along you are now, okay?”

You nodded while working on your breathing as Carter helped you out of your pants to check.

“You are already up to a six, we better get you moving.”

As if on cue, two paramedics then came into your condo with a gurney.

“You brought the ambulance with you?!”

“Well you needed me. I wasn’t going to leave you here by yourself while I go get the car.”

“What about the people from the accident?”

“Just a few minor bumps and bruises,” John said as he helped you onto the gurney.

“You ready to go have this baby?” John asked you as you were wheeled out.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Hey,” John said as he gave your arm a supportive squeeze. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He leaned forward and kissed you, and then helped you time your contractions on his watch. It seemed like the ambulance ride was long, and the ride up to OB was long, but then it all seemed so short once you were checked in and your labor was officially underway.

“Remember, just breathe,” John said as he guided you through the breaths. You were frustrated, but were helpless to do anything but breathe alongside him.

“Come on honey, you can do it.”

“You’re almost there, Mrs. Carter, let’s just have one more big push with the next one, you ready?”

“No.”

“Yes you are,” John said. “You got this, hon.”

When the next contraction came, you screamed as you pushed like you had never pushed before. Soon your efforts were rewarded by the sound of a newborn’s cries filling the air.

“Congratulations, it’s a boy!” the doctor cried out.

“You hear that, honey? You did it!” John said. You looked at his face and saw he looked ready to cry.

The doctor laid your son on your chest, and your heart melted.

“Oh hi, little guy, hi,” you said as you kissed his forehead. “John, look at him.”

“I see him. Hi big guy! It’s me, your dad.”

The doctor’s took him away to clean him up and make sure he was okay, which he was.

“You did amazing,” John said to you.

“For a while there I kind of just felt like I was along for the ride. A very painful ride, but a ride nonetheless.”

“Well it was all worth it,” John said. “Now that the ride is over,” John said with a laugh, “we get to get up in the middle of the night, change diapers, say good-bye to any plans unless we get a sitter involved first.”

“Yeah, but that’ll all be worth it when we’re old and decrepit and they’re taking care of us and changing our diapers.”

John then left you to get some rest while he went to go check in on your son, who you named Jacob.

One day, while Jacob was still very young, the unthinkable happened. While John was working a shift in the E.R., you went out with Jacob. You crossed paths with a deranged man with a gun. You were able to tuck Jacob away where he wouldn’t be hurt, but before you could get to safety, you were shot in the right shoulder. You went down and the assailant fled the scene.

You were lying on the ground, conscious, but you couldn’t move or say anything. You heard Jacob screaming his head off, but you couldn’t get to him. You didn’t lose consciousness but when the paramedics arrived you couldn’t respond to anything they said or asked you.

“My son…” was all you could say. Luckily the sound of Jacob’s cries led them to him, and they brought him into the ambulance with you.

“She looks kind of familiar, like I’ve seen her somewhere before, but I can’t place her,” one of the paramedics said. The other paramedic pulled your wallet out of your purse and looked at your ID.

“Oh God.”

“What is it?”

“This is Dr. Carter’s wife.”

“What? Are you sure?”

The paramedic handed your wallet off to their partner, and they saw not only the last name “Carter” on your driver’s license, but a picture you had in there of John holding Jacob.

“County, do you copy, this is unit 11.”

“We’re here, unit 11, go ahead,” Haleh answered.

“We are on route, ETA is about ten minutes, GSW, we believe she’s one of yours.”

“One of ours?”

The paramedic said your name and Haleh froze.

“What about her son? Was he with her?”

“We’ve got him. Not so much as a hair out of place. Is Dr. Carter there?”

At the time, John was in the lounge, preparing to take off for the day. He had stopped to have idle chit chat with Dr. Lewis when Dr. Chen burst into the room, catching the other two’s attention.

“John, you’ve got to get out here.”

“Nope! Sorry Deb, I’ve got plans with the missus.”

“Well I think your plans are cancelled.”

“Deb! No!”

“Your wife’s on her way here. GSW.”

It took Carter a second to process what his colleague was telling him.

“What!?”

Carter ran out of the lounge and straight to the ambulance bay with Dr. Chen.

“What about Jacob? Is he okay? Was he with her?”

“They have him, he’s fine.”

“Who the hell shot her? Did they catch the guy yet?”

“I don’t know, Carter.”

“Is she responsive? Where was she shot?”

“They said she’s conscious but unresponsive. Single gunshot to the right shoulder.”

“Oh God… how could this happen?”

When the ambulance pulled in, Carter was already pulling at the ambulance doors before the rig even came to a complete stop. He called out your name and kept up with the gurney as they rolled you into the hospital.

“John…?”

“It’s me, honey, don’t worry, everything’s gonna be just fine.”

“What happened?”

“Someone… someone shot you.”

“Oh…”

You started to drift, but John brought you back by roughly grabbing you.

“Stay with me, hon! Don’t go to sleep! You gotta stay with me, baby!”

Your gurney pushed through a prepped operating theatre and the other doctors and nurses immediately got to work helping you out.

“Don’t give her any penicillin, she’s allergic to it!”

“We got her Carter,” Dr. Weaver said. However, Carter kept working on you as if she hadn’t said anything. “John, she’s your wife, you should leave her to us.”

“No. No, I can’t leave her, Kerry!” John shouted as he started to cry.

“You got someone else who needs you.”

Kerry looked over through the windows of the room’s doors at the paramedic who was holding Jacob.

“We’ve got her, Carter,” Luka added. “Go be with your son.”

John looked at his baby boy and he knew they were right. He wanted to work on you until you were stable, but at the same time he couldn’t leave his son alone. He left the room, took Jacob from the paramedic, and sat down with him. When you were okay, he brought him in to see you.

“Oh, thank God you’re okay, baby,” you said to Jacob.

“You really scared us, you know,” John said.

You kept your eyes on Jacob and started crying. “I just heard shouting, and I didn’t know what to do, I was so scared, and then I heard the gun, and then I felt it, and I just couldn’t move, and-”

“Hey. Shh, it’s okay,” John said as he stroked your hair with his free hand. “You’re okay now.”

While you were on the mend, John had to step up to take care of Jacob. His mom stuck around to help; John refused her at first but eventually succumbed when treating you, caring for him, and tending to his usual job duties just wore him down.

After you were discharged from the hospital, you wound up wearing a sling for a while because you took the bullet in your shoulder. It was tough, trying to be a mother and a wife while down an arm and trying to recover from a traumatic experience, but luckily Weaver was very understanding and gave you plenty of time off from work.

Time flew by once the sling came off, and before you knew it, Jacob was already taking his first steps.

“You getting this, babe?” you asked your husband while your son staggered across the floor.

“Yup,” John said as he powered up his video camera. “Jacob! Come to daddy, Jacob!”

Jacob gave the camera a gummy smile as he stumbled over towards his father. As he did this, you got up and ran to the bathroom, where you vomited.

“Hon, you okay?” John asked from the other side of the door, the camera still rolling. When you came out and saw the camera lens, you nearly jumped.

“Please tell me you weren’t recording me just now.”

John turned off the camera and let it drop to his side.

“Don’t worry, I’ll delete it. Sorry, I got so used to it I forgot about it.”

“Uh-huh.”

“But seriously though, you okay?”

“In a manner of speaking,” you said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know for certain, but there’s a chance I could be pregnant.”

You didn’t have any home pregnancy tests on hand, so you loaded Jacob up into your car and drove to the nearest convenience store to pick one up. You then went to a local diner, and while John got Jacob situated in a booster seat, you took the test in the bathroom. It made you think about that negative test you took at Doc Magoo’s, and how crazy everything has been since then. How was it that you might already be pregnant for a third time since then?

You joined your husband and son while you waited for the results to come back. Jacob innocently cooed while you and John held hands, watching the result screen with bated breaths. Finally, the result came in: positive! Jacob was about to become a big brother.

Ultrasounds revealed that the baby on the way was a girl. While your due date with your daughter was approaching, you and John had a hard time figuring out what to name her. You had both agreed on “Jacob” for your son so quickly, you were a little worried that it was taking so long to land on a girl name for your daughter.

You sat at your usual spot at the reception desk and poured through a baby book.

“You think I could get something with better back support? This chair isn’t really pregger-friendly,” you said to Dr. Weaver as she walked past.

“You think you could actually do your job while you’re here?” she said.

You put the baby book back in your purse, and then looked at one of the charts you needed to catalogue. When you saw the patient’s name, you froze.

“Huh.”

Dr. Carter ended up being the physician that tended to the patient in question.

“Let’s see… Cassandra. That’s a nice name, I might have to steal it,” John said as he walked into the room.

“Sorry?”

“No, I should apologize. I can see how that might sound strange. My wife and I are expecting a little girl next month, and we still haven’t figured out a name for her. But I like yours… Cassandra.”

After Carter got through with the patient, he came to where you were working and leaned on the counter.

“So I just finished with a patient.”

“Oh? And how’d it go?”

“Pretty well, I’d say. She had the nicest name.”

“Was it Cassandra?”

“Yeah, how’d you-?”

“I’m the one who filed her chart. I really liked it too and was hoping to bring it up with you when I had the chance.”

“Sounds like we’re on the same page then, huh?”

“So I guess her name’s gonna be Cassandra then. I love it. It makes her sound like a princess,” you said as you looked down at your large belly.

“Well that’s what makes it so perfect, because our little girl is a princess,” John said as he came around the counter and placed his hand on your belly. You two then shared a kiss before John had to get back to work.

Unlike Jacob, Cassandra came before you had the chance to go on maternity leave. John was in surgery in the ER while you were sitting at the desk, when out of nowhere your water broke.

“Is that…?” Randi started.

“Yeah. I think I’d better get upstairs.”

Randi helped you to a wheelchair. Meanwhile, John happened to look up from his patient and saw what was happening with you, and called out your name without thinking. This caught the attention of Dr. Kovac, who looked up and saw what John was seeing.

“Go Carter,” he said.

“You sure?”

“I’ve got it covered, you’ve got someplace more important to be,” he said.

John withdrew his hands and quickly discarded his surgical garb. He ran out of the room and after you.

“Are you okay? What’s going on?” he asked.

“My water broke.”

“Already? But you’re not due for two more weeks.”

“Well, tell that to Cassandra.”

“Who’s Cassandra?” Randi asked.

“Our daughter. Her name’s Cassandra,” you said.

“That’s really cute.”

“Thanks,” you and John both said at the same time.

John took you up and your delivery progressed much faster than it had with Jacob. Before you knew it, the delivery room was filled with the sound of a crying baby.

“Hi Cassandra,” you said when you saw her in person for the first time.

Jacob had been in the hospital’s day care center at the time, so John went to go get him after he saw that you and your new daughter were doing just fine.

“You know who this is, Jacob? This is your sister. Her name’s Cassandra. She’s the reason why mommy’s tummy was so big.”

“Hi,” Jacob said. You both smiled at him.

You and John were happy with your two kids. Of course your condo wasn’t practical for raising children, so you two bought a house for your family. It had five bedrooms - one bedroom for each kid, a guest room, and a home office.

Life with two kids and a doctor for a husband definitely wore you down, but in the best possible way. You were sad when Jacob started kindergarten, but you began to really appreciate only having to take care of Cassandra during the day. You actually were ready to celebrate when it was Cassandra’s turn to start kindergarten, but in the days leading up to that event, you got a surprise.

“John. Babe,” you said as you came out of the bathroom.

“What is it?”

“Remember how I said when Cassandra starts school, I won’t have any kids to look after anymore?”

“I recall.”

“That might not be necessarily true anymore.”

“Why? You pregnant?”

You opened your fingers to reveal the pregnancy test you had in your hands.

“Afraid so.”

You gave birth to another son, and you named this one Ezekiel. You were so overwhelmed by the added work you had with your surprise baby that you made sure to get your tubes tied as soon as your gynecologist gave you the go ahead. You also made the decision that you would quit your job to be a stay at home mom. While John missed not having you around at the hospital, he supported your decision. After all, coming home to his wife and three kids after a long day of surgeries and death was always something for him to look forward to, no matter how many days went by.

One day, on his way home from work, John bought you a bouquet of flowers and a heart-shaped box of chocolates.

“Babe! What is all this?” you asked when you saw what he was carrying.

“I wanted you to know how much I love you, and how happy it makes me knowing that I get to come home to this beautiful family. I appreciate you and all that you do for me. And also it’s Valentine’s Day.”

“Is it really? Gosh, I get so caught up with the kids that I can’t remember the days unless I have to drive someone somewhere at some point.” You kissed your husband and fished a vase for the flowers out from under the kitchen sink.

“Thank you, babe, I love these,” you said as you hugged him. Jacob then started to pull at his father’s clothes.

“How come mommy gets all the candy?”

“Because mommy is my valentine,” John said. “But who said she’s getting all the candy?”

John then pulled out three small boxes of hard candy hearts and gave one to each of his kids.

“Thanks daddy!” Cassandra said.

“You’re welcome, princess.”

“But don’t eat those until after you’ve had your dinner!” you called out to your kids as they ran off with the boxes. You then caught John staring into your eyes.

“What?” you asked with a smile.

“I seriously cannot say how much I really appreciate and love you. You know that, right?”

You smiled. “It’s still nice to hear you try,” you said cutely as you went to embrace him again.

John gave a lighthearted laugh, and then said, “I always knew, even before I met you, that I wanted a family, but what I could never anticipate, is how much I would love you all. You, Jacob, Cassandra, Ezekiel… I remember what my life was like, before you were all in it. It wasn’t bad, but I realize now how empty it was. Having you and our little munchkins gives me a reason to wake up in the morning, practice medicine, and come home. I love you so much. Thank you for being my wife, and the mother of my children. Really.”

You pulled away from John to look him in the eye and you started crying.

“You rescued me in more ways than I can count. And it’s not like I could have had these kids without you.”

You hugged again, and the world melted away around you. Your kids started fighting over something or another, but you didn’t pay them any mind. All that mattered was that you and John Carter were made for each other, and nothing was going to tear you apart.

THE END

[shadytreeangelfarm-blog]

Team Barclay (A Star Trek: The Next Generation/Voyager Fanfiction)

You are an engineering ensign with a specialty in holographic technology. When you were assigned to Enterprise, you mostly kept to yourself, but your attention would always be grabbed by a certain lieutenant who also worked in Enterprise’s engineering section, a certain Lt. Reginald Barclay, or “Reg” as his friends called him.

One day in engineering, you overheard Lt. Barclay talking to Lt. Commander La Forge about an ingenious solution Barclay had come up with, and you found yourself paying more attention to eavesdropping on their conversation, rather than focusing on your own work.

When La Forge walked away, you saw your opportunity to move over next to Barclay and peek at his work.

“Ensign!” he cried out as he nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Is it true? Can you really re-align the graviton emitters to emulate the effect of a polaron burst?”

“Oh, well, I mean, in theory, I suppose, I mean we can’t say for sure until w-we try it.”

“That’s so cool! How did you come up with the idea?”

“Oh, well I-I-I-”

“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t be bugging you with stuff like this while you’re trying to work. I just-”

“No!”

You looked at Barclay, unsure of how to react to his outburst.

“I-I’m sorry ensign, it’s just, besides Geordi, no one’s really been interested in my work before.”

“Is this your first brilliant idea or am I the only one who knows a genius when I see one?”

Barclay stared at you with wide eyes, clearly unsure of how to respond to your question.

Realizing that Barclay was frozen, you spoke up.

“I should let you get back to work.”

You turned and started heading back towards your station.

“The holodeck!”

You stopped and turned around.

“The holodeck?”

“That’s where I came up with the idea. I was running a program and it just sort of… came to me.”

Barclay gave you a nervous smile and you nodded.

“What kind of program?”

“Oh, well it’s sort of, um, it’s a kind of, uh…”

“It was a private program. I get it. I’ve indulged in a few holodeck programs like that myself. Say no more.”

You then returned to your work station and worked the rest of your shift without exchanging another word with Barclay. You thought about maybe saying something to him on your way out of engineering and back to your quarters, but he was already gone by your quitting time.

A few days went by, and you found that when you were in engineering at the same time as Barclay, the two of you would steal glances at each other, and you would both quickly look away flustered whenever you would make eye contact. This behavior didn’t go unnoticed by a certain Lt. Commander.

“Mind if I sit here?”

You looked up from your meal and saw Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge standing next to your table with a tray of food in hand.

“Sir!” you blurted out through a mouth full of food as you stood while trying to cover your mouth.

“At ease, Ensign.”

You sat back down.

“Well?”

You realized he’d ask you a question you never answered.

“Yes! I mean, yes you can sit here, so no I don’t mind!”

La Forge sat down across from you and you kept eating, but you were very tense and could only eat small bites of food at a time.

“I have a favor to ask, Ensign. And I want to make this clear. If you don’t feel comfortable doing what I’m about to ask you, you don’t have to. It’s not an order.”

“O-Okay. Sure. Um, what is it?”

“I’m worried about another one of the engineers under me. I think you know him, Lt. Barclay.”

You nearly choked on your tea at the mention of the unexpected name.

“What’s wrong with him, is he okay?”

“Physically, yes. But… he seems kind of lonely.”

“Lonely?”

“He’s always spending his free time in the holodecks, alone, and I think it would benefit him to have a real person to spend time with, whether it’s in or out of the holodeck.”

“Okay…”

“I’ve been reviewing your background and I see that you specialize in holographic technologic, which I know is something Reg is equally passionate about.

“I think the two of you could both benefit from getting to spend some time with each other outside of your regular duties. Knowing Reg though, he’s very shy, and I don’t think he’d ever feel comfortable asking you to the holodeck, but I know you designed some holodeck programs yourself, so if you have one you wouldn’t mind running with Reg, do you think you could ask him to spend time with you there?”

You sat there in silence for a few seconds. You started running different programs you were familiar with in your head, trying to think of a suitable one to share with Barclay.

“Yes. I’ll do it. I’ll ask him, anyway.”

Geordi smiled, and then the two of you spent the rest of your meal making small talk.

The next day, when you reported to engineering for your shift, you saw that Lt. Barclay was already there, hard at work.

“Good morning, lieutenant,” you said to him, stopping right next to his work station.

“E-ensign! G-g-good morning.”

“So I was thinking about what you said the other day, a-about the holodeck. Um, I hope this doesn’t seem improper or out of line, but I have this new program that I’ve been wanting to try out, but it’s designed for two people as opposed to just one. I don’t really know anyone else on Enterprise that well, and since you also seem to like the holodeck I was wondering if maybe you, um, would want to uh, run the program with me?”

“Oh, su-sure.”

“Really?! Great! Cool!”

You started to walk away before realizing you left out an important detail, and you had to double back.

“How about tonight? I already have one reserved starting at 1830.”

“Which holodeck?”

“The third one. Oh, and you can wear whatever you like. I’ll be going in street clothes but you can wear your uniform if that makes you more comfortable.”

“I-I’ll probably change, if you are.”

“Great! I’ll see you then!”

You worked the rest of your shift, and when it ended, you saw Barclay was already gone. You only got off thirty minutes before your reservation started, so you went to your quarters to change, and then hurried off to the holodeck to find Barclay already waiting for you outside, wearing civilian clothes.

You loaded the program and the two of you headed inside.

“So… what kind of p-program is this?”

“It’s a location-driven program, set in Europe. I’ve never been to that part of Earth so I always wanted to explore it. But I always found exploration to be kind of dull when you do it by yourself, and generating a hologram to accompany you is never the same as walking through it with an actual person.”

“O-oh, right, of course.”

You smiled. “You don’t agree, do you?”

“Well, I-I-I-”

“That’s okay lieutenant, you don’t have to agree with me. People are allowed to have differing opinions.”

“Right. Of course.”

You took Lt. Barclay’s hand in your own, and he looked down at the hands with a panicked look.

“I-I’m sorry, that was presumptuous-”

“No, i-it’s okay.”

The two of you walked through the candlelight gardens of Europe, and were both dazzled by a fireworks display. By the time your holodeck time was up, you felt a profound connection to Lt. Barclay, and you hoped he felt it too. Moving forward, the two of you would look back at this moment as your first date.

After dating Barclay, or “Reggie” as you called him, for over a year, you walked into engineering for one of your shifts like it was any other day.

“Good morning!” Reggie called to you when you entered his line of sight.

“And good morning to you too, Reggie.”

Ever since you started dating, Reggie was always happy to see you each morning when you both worked in engineering, but he was unusually chipper today.

“I’ve got a surprise for you,” he said, walking over to your station.

“Oh?”

“I’ve been working on a special program, and it’s finally ready.”

“Ooo, so when do I get to see this special program?”

“I was thinking tonight, if that’s all right.”

“Tonight works. When do you have a reservation for?”

“1900 hours, holodeck 1.”

“Sounds perfect. What should I wear?”

“It’s a formal wear program.”

“What, seriously? You mean I get to wear a sparkly dress and do my hair all fancy and non-regulation-like?”

Reggie gave out a lighthearted laugh.

“Yes, I thought you might like it.”

“But those types of programs aren’t really your style, I thought?”

“But you like them, so I thought-”

“Say no more,” you said, realizing your boyfriend was getting jittery and nervous. “I’ll meet you outside holodeck 1 at 1900 hours.”

You smiled at each other, forcing yourselves to not share a kiss while in uniform and on duty.

When the time came, you met Reggie outside of holodeck 1, and gasped when you saw him. There he was, standing in a tuxedo with a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

“For M’lady,” he said. “You look lovely.”

“You look handsome. Thank you Reggie.���

Reggie loaded his holodeck program, and escorted you inside by the arm. You had to gasp again when the holodeck doors opened and inside you saw a ballroom, where dozens upon dozens of holographic couples were dancing with masquerade masks on.

“Reggie, this is amazing! And you created this all by yourself?”

“Well, I may have had a little help from Lt. Commander La Forge.”

“Really Reggie, did you go through all this trouble, just for my sake? No, I don’t believe it, there has to be another reason you made this program, you’re just showing it to me, right?”

“No, I-I made this for you. Just for you.”

You felt so happy that you started to cry. Reggie noticed and wiped the tear away from your eye.

“Reggie, I love you.”

“And I love you. So much.”

The two of you kissed and then Reggie had the computer generate masquerade masks onto each of your faces and the two of you danced. Sure, Reggie was a little clumsy and awkward, but he still did surprisingly well.

After you two danced until you were both out of breath, he led you to a chair and sat you down.

“This was really fun, Reggie. Thank you.”

“Computer, load chapter 2.”

You gave Reggie a puzzled look as your surroundings disappeared and were replaced by a moonlit lakeside, and the chair beneath you was replaced by a painted white park bench, adorned with pink roses.

“Reggie…”

A holographic band played slow and romantic music in the grass nearby, and Reggie got down on one knee in front of you.

“This past year has been the best year of my life, and I have you to thank for that. You are the most incredible person I have ever known, and getting to know you has been a privilege and an honor. I would love if you would do me the honor of becoming my wife.”

“Reggie!”

Reggie reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small black box, and opened it in front of you.

“[Your Full Name], will you marry me?”

“Reggie! Yes! Yes, of course!”

You quickly plucked the ring out of the box, slipped it onto your finger, and practically pounced on Reggie with a passionate kiss.

The two of you were quickly married after that. You had a simple ceremony aboard the Enterprise in the ship’s mess hall. You were both given leave for your honeymoon by Captain Picard, but you two didn’t take one step off Enterprise, choosing instead to spend your honeymoon in one of the ship’s holodecks. After your honeymoon, you moved into shared quarters, and aside from the fact the two of you were now married, it was business as usual.

Two years into your marriage, you received temporary reassignment to another starship, Voyager, which was preparing to embark on a mission to capture a group of rebels known as the Maquis.

You returned to your quarters after receiving your orders, and found your husband there.

“Welcome home, my love,” he said to you as he approached you and kissed you. He then realized you were silent and not smiling. “What’s wrong? Has something happened?”

“I’m being temporarily reassigned. To another starship. We’ll be rendezvousing with them in two days.”

“For how long?”

“Only a week.”

“A whole week?”

When you realized your husband was just as distressed about this as you were, you gave a lighthearted smile.

“This is why I love you,” you said. “You see a week apart as an eternity too, don’t you? So when I treat it like it’s forever, you won’t think I’m being ridiculous.”

“I… don’t suppose I get to come with you?”

“I’m afraid not. Apparently Starfleet Headquarters thinks we can survive apart for that long.”

“I don’t think I’ll make it. I’ll have Dr. Crusher write a note that says it’s medically important that I have to go with you.”

“Reggie…”

“Or better yet, I’ll have her write you a note that excuses you.”

You kissed Reggie and then wrapped your arms around his neck and stared up into his eyes.

“I can’t say I like this idea any better than you do, but I think we can survive a week apart. Besides, think of how… grateful... I’ll be to be back by your side at the end of that week.”

“Oh really? And just… how grateful would that be?”

You laughed and then whispered in his ear, “Why don’t I show you?”

You and Barclay went to your bed, and you showed him exactly what he could expect in a week’s time. Then, when the time came, you said good-bye to your husband to join the crew of the starship Voyager. Lo and behold, you would wind up being gone for a lot longer than just one week.

As the time you were supposed to be returning to Enterprise approached, Captain Jean-Luc Picard got a disturbing communique from Starfleet Headquarters, and called Counselor Troi into his ready room to help him break the news to Lt. Barclay.

“I don’t know how to tell you this, lieutenant, but we’ve just received news about Voyager.”

“Voyager? M-my wife was on that ship.”

“Yes, we’re aware. Voyager… has been declared missing.”

“Missing? Missing, what does that mean? How-how does a starship with over one hundred people go missing?”

“We don’t know. They’ve launched a search, and examined the location of Voyager’s last known position. So far they haven’t found any evidence that Voyager’s been destroyed.”

“Oh God…”

“There’s also no trace of the Maquis ship that Voyager was sent to apprehend. Needless to say, we will not be able to rendezvous with Ensign Barclay as we originally intended. I’m sorry.”

“I know this is a lot to process, Reg. If you ever need someone to talk to-”

“I shouldn’t have let her go.”

“Reg, you had no way of knowing this would happen. What happened to Voyager could have just as easily happened to Enterprise. You can’t blame yourself.”

“I didn’t want her to go, but I was too afraid to ask her to stay here.”

Reggie started to cry, so Troi delicately placed a hand on his back and said, “why don’t we go to my office and talk more about this there?”

Over the next few years, Reggie had a difficult time. After months of searching with nothing to show for it, Starfleet called off the search for Voyager, and declared everyone on board dead, including you. Since there was no evidence Voyager had been destroyed, Reggie clinged onto hope that you were still alive, somewhere, and he would see you again. Meanwhile, your family held a funeral for you that Reggie attended, and at Counselor Troi’s urgings he also attended a memorial service Starfleet held for all of Voyager’s crew. Reggie tried to hold on to the idea that you were still alive, as if it were a life preserver keeping him afloat, but the longer that Voyager remained missing without a trace, the harder it became for Reggie to keep clinging onto that hope.

Meanwhile, you were doing well for yourself on Voyager. You missed your husband terribly and wanted nothing more than to return to the alpha quadrant to be reunited with him, but at the same time you were finding it hard not to enjoy the unique opportunities being stranded in the delta quadrant afforded you. You got to work on developing new holo-novels for the crew, which were widely enjoyed. You also fell back on some old medical training from your academy days, as you originally planned to be a nurse before falling in love with holographic technology, and got to help the doctor out in sick bay. Spending all that time with him also opened your mind to the possibilities of what you could do with holograms. It also benefited him because if he ever had a malfunction, his acting nurse was also an engineer who could get on the problem right away.

Finally, after years of being stranded, Voyager came across an array that allowed them to send the doctor to the alpha quadrant.

“Incoming transmission from Earth for Lieutenant Barclay,” Enterprise’s computer rang out. Barclay, who had been asleep, stirred himself awake, and sat down at the computer in his quarters with bleary eyes.

“Patch it through,” he said before he yawned. When Barclay saw a Starfleet admiral on the other side, he quickly straightened himself up. “Admiral!”

“At ease, lieutenant. I’m here because I’ve been given the task of spreading the good news to the families of Voyager’s crew.”

“Good news? A-about Voyager?”

“We’ve just received word from them, that they’re alive and well. Quite some ways away, I’m afraid, and I can’t promise you that your wife is still alive as we don’t know what sort of casualties Voyager has taken, but I’ve been asked to notify all the families, and let them know that we’re planning to transmit them letters from home, and I want to know if I can count on your contribution.”

“Yes. Yes, of course! I’ll get started on it right away!”

Deanna Troi was just getting ready to turn in for the evening when someone rang her office door.

“Come in!”

As soon as the words began to leave Troi’s mouth, Lt. Barclay bursted through the door with the largest smile Troi had seen on him since his wife went missing years ago.

“You seem to be in a good mood, Reg,” she said, reflecting his smile back at him.

“I am in the best of good moods, Counselor. I just received the most amazing news from Starfleet Headquarters!”

“Oh?”

“It’s Voyager! They found Voyager!”

“Reg, that’s amazing! I hadn’t heard the news!”

“They said that they don’t know yet how many casualties Voyager has suffered, so there might still be a chance that my wife is dead after all… but they found Voyager, and they’re collecting letters from all the crew’s family and they’re going to send them to Voyager.”

“That’s really fantastic news. Do you know what you’re going to say in yours?”

“I’ve done better than that, Counselor. I’ve already sent my letter.”

“I hope she gets to read it. I’m sure after being separated from you for such a long time, she’ll be glad to hear from you.”

“I hope so, too. Well, anyway, I didn’t want to disturb you, I was just so excited I felt like I needed to tell somebody.”

“And I’m glad you know I’m here for the good, not just the bad.”

You were eating your replicated macaroni and cheese in Voyager’s mess hall when Neelix walked in, carrying a large box.

“All right everyone, I have more letters!” he announced.

You gulped and listened to the names Neelix called out until you heard yours. You immediately jumped up from your seat and grabbed the padd Neelix held out to you, and sure enough, it was a letter from your Reggie.

You took it back to your seat and didn’t know what to do. You hadn’t finished your food and you wanted to, but you also wanted to read the letter right away, but felt like you should do that from the privacy of your own quarters. After all, you had no idea what your husband was going to say, and what sort of outward reaction you might have to reading his words.

You sat the padd down next to your food and quickly started scarfing it down while stealing glances at the letter, despite your best efforts to save it until you could return to your quarters.

Dear [Your First Name],

They say that they don’t know who on Voyager’s crew is still alive, so I don’t know if this letter will reach you, but I really hope it does.

You grabbed your two padds, the one you brought to the mess hall with you and the one Neelix just gave you, and carried them with you to the replicator to recycle your dishes. You then left the mess hall and proceeded to the turbo lift.

The last few years have been difficult to say the least. Oh, baby, I miss you so much. I always believed that you were still alive, somewhere, and I hope that we’ll be able to see each other again. Starfleet declared you dead, you know. And we had a funeral for you.

You felt tears well up and you had to force your gaze away from the padd. When the turbolift reached its destination, you stepped off and went into your quarters, and sat down on your bed to finish the letter.

Your mom and dad were both there, together in the same room, if you can believe it. Your mother was crying and your dad actually put his arm around her to comfort her. You would have been touched to see it. I wanted to take a picture for you but I was afraid someone might see me. I’m sorry.

That made you laugh.

I’ve dealt with loneliness, before you came into my life, but nothing compared to the loneliness that I felt after you were lost. I miss being able to hold you in my arms, the smell of your hair after a sonic shower, the way “I love you” sounds in your voice, and so much more. So much.

They say you’re in the Delta Quadrant, and that even if you are alive, I may never see you again. I can’t believe that’s true. If there is anything that I can do to bring you back home to me, baby, believe it, I’m going to do it.

There’s so much I want to say to you but they’re limiting how long these letters are. I’m hoping we get to talk to each other again soon. I love you so much.

Love, Your Reggie

You hugged the padd close to your chest after you finished reading the letter, and proceeded to re-read it many more times over the course of Voyager’s journey.

While you were continuing your life on Voyager with a new boost to your moral and renewed vigor, Barclay had worked his way into Project Pathfinder, a group of Starfleet on Earth dedicated to finding Voyager the shortest route home possible.

While working round the clock and spending as little time at his new apartment on Earth as possible, Barclay wound up creating a new holodeck program to run at the lab’s holodeck. There, he recreated Voyager as he knew it to be, with a hologram of his beloved wife as well.

“I missed you so much, Reggie,” the hologram of you said to Reggie.

“And I missed you, too,” he said, hugging the hologram tightly. Reggie and the hologram of you then went into holographic recreations of your old quarters from Enterprise, and got into the bed together. The two of them then began to engage in foreplay, but Reggie broke himself away from the hologram and instructed the computer to delete your character.

“It’s just not the same…” he whispered to himself before leaving the quarters to rejoin the other holographic crewmates. He then restored your hologram, but kept the physical contact to merely touching.

“Reg, I think you need some time off,” his boss at Pathfinder wound up telling him one day.

“Sir, with all due respect-”

“I think you’re getting too close to Voyager, and you’re losing perspective.”

“M-my wife is on that ship, and I promised her-”

“That is exactly my point, Reg. I think you’re too obsessed with getting Voyager home to see straight. Personally, I can’t say I blame you. If it were my wife on that ship, I’d be desperate to get her home too, but that doesn’t change the fact that you can’t be objective. I tried to give you some leniency because I felt sympathy for your circumstances, but it seems to me like you’ve abused that privilege.”

“Sir, I promise you, everything I do in the holodeck is for Voyager.”

“Is that right? Reg, I’m sorry, but I’ve already made up my mind. As of this moment, you are no longer part of the Pathfinder project, and I’m restricting your access to this lab.”

“No, please sir, I-”

“Come on Reg… don’t make me call security.”

A devastated Reginald Barclay left the lab, and returned to his apartment, where he was visited by Deanna Troi.

“Deanna! Thank you so much for coming, I’m sorry to disrupt your shore leave with Commander Riker.”

“Nonsense! Will doesn’t mind. So how are things going? I have a feeling you didn’t call me here just to catch up.”

“No… oh it’s terrible Deanna. I’ve become obsessed with Voyager.”

“Obsessed? What makes you choose that word?”

“My commanding officer used it when he took me off the Pathfinder Project.”

“He removed you? Why? Doesn’t he know there’s no one more invested in getting Voyager home than you?”

“Oh he knows, and according to him, that’s exactly what the problem is.”

“Why don’t you tell me exactly what happened?”

Reg took a deep breath before he told Troi about looking for a way to at least communicate with Voyager, but then his boss didn’t like the idea because it was purely theoretical. He then went over his boss’s head to propose the idea to an admiral, who also happened to be the father of Voyager’s helmsman.

“Did you at least apologize to him for embarrassing him in front of the admiral?”

“Well no. I might have gone into the holodeck, and ran the Voyager simulation.”

“Oh Reg…”

“Now I know what you’re thinking, Counselor, and this wasn’t a relapse of my holo addiction.”

“Then what was it?”

“When I lost my wife to the Delta Quadrant, and then I heard that she had been found, I wanted nothing more than to do everything in my power to help that effort, to hurry and bring her home. I was so focused on that goal that I left Enterprise to join the Pathfinder Project. But we’ve made no real progress and my ideas aren’t given the time of day, so it’s starting to feel like instead of getting closer to my wife, I just walked away from my friends - my family - on Enterprise. So instead of gaining back what I lost, I-I lost even more.”

“Life is full of calculated choices, and there will always be risks involved. We’re only human, we can’t always know what the best choice is. We just have to make the ones we believe are right and hope for the best outcome.”

“I suppose you’re right, as usual.”

“So. What happened after the briefing with Admiral Paris?”

“I went to his office and tried to propose my idea directly to the admiral. He said he would review it.”

“That’s great!”

“No, it’s not great! That’s just what admirals say to get rid of someone, politely. He had no intention of reviewing my plan.”

“I’m sorry, Reg.”

“I’m sure he told my boss because that’s why I got removed from the project.”

Reg’s face contorted as he began to cry.

“Hey, it’s all right, Reg.”

“No, it’s not all right. I sent a letter to her and I promised her that I would do everything in my power to bring her home, but I made a mistake and now there’s nothing I can do.”

“Now I have a hard time believing that!” Troi said. “Even if you got removed from Pathfinder, I believe that you can still put your ideas to good use.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so.”

Unbeknownst to Counselor Troi, her words inspired Reg to take action that very night, after she left his apartment. Reg used his technical know-how to hack his way into the Pathfinder lab, and put his plan into action anyway. Unfortunately, his boss was made aware of Barclay’s break-in, and sent security officers to stop Reg. He had to duck into his holographic simulation of Voyager to shake them long enough for the Midas Array to open up a micro wormhole, and get a transmission through to Voyager.

Meanwhile, on that ship that Barclay was desperate to contact, you found yourself in an unusual circumstance that required you to be on the bridge. Lt. Torres, your commanding officer aboard Voyager, had assigned you to upgrade the bridge’s systems, and as serendipity would have it, you happened to choose this exact moment to complete those upgrades.

“Captain, I’m receiving a transmission,” Kim said. “It’s from Starfleet.”

Your ears perked up at the sound of that last word.

“Well, let’s hear it, Mr. Kim,” Captain Janeway said.

When you heard that transmission, it was even more wonderful than you could have imagined. You never would have guessed, but that transmission was coming from none other than your own husband.

“This is Lieutenant Reginald Barclay. Come in, Voyager.”

“Lieutenant Barclay?” Captain Janeway asked as she looked at you.

“That’s my husband! My Reggie…”

“Open a channel,” Captain Janeway commanded. Kim did as asked.

“Lieutenant Barclay, this is Captain Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager. Are you receiving this? I repeat, are you receiving this?”

Back on Earth, just as Barclay had been apprehended and was about to be escorted off the premises of the Pathfinder Project, everyone froze when they heard Janeway’s response to Barclay’s illicit transmission.

“Well, Mr. Barclay? I believe that’s for you.”

Reg gulped and said, “Voyager, this is Lt. Barclay. We hear you. A-are you all right?”

“We’re doing better now that we’ve heard from you! I have someone here who has a few words she’d like to say.”

Janeway turned to look at you.

“Me?” you mouthed to the captain. She nodded and gestured for you to speak.

“Hello? Reggie?”

When Lt. Barclay heard his wife’s voice over the speakers, a wave of relief washed over him. He was so moved by those simple words that he nearly broke down into tears, but he composed himself so he could speak.

“Hi baby. It’s so good to hear your voice.”

“It’s good to hear yours, too.”

“There’s so much… catching up we have to do, but we don’t have a lot of time, and there’s someone else here who wants to say a few things.”

“Reggie!”

You paused just long enough to make sure you had his attention, but not long enough for him to say anything.

“I love you.”

“I love you too. So much.”

You felt tears well up in your eyes as you could hear that your husband was choking up as he said those last words.

The next person to talk from Earth was Admiral Paris, your Lt. Paris’s father. He spoke to Janeway instead of his son, and you didn’t hear what any of them said. You zoned out, replaying your short but sweet conversation that you just had with your husband. You couldn’t even resume the work you were doing before his transmission came through, you just sort of sat down on the steps of the ship and kept replaying that conversation, trying to picture what he must of looked like when he said what he said, and heard what you said.

After the transmission ended, Reggie was satisfied with hearing you say, “I love you,” and was ready to face whatever punishment was going to befall him. He could survive off those simple three words, spoken in the voice of the woman of his dreams, for him and him alone, but lucky for him he didn’t need to worry about that. His methods weren’t exactly commendable, but he impressed his boss enough to have him reinstated on the Pathfinder Project.

You returned to reality when the Captain approached you where you were sitting, but instead of demanding you move or get back to work, as you feared she might, she was wearing a smile, and asked you to join her in the mess hall for a little celebration.

You and the rest of the Voyager crew gathered around the Captain as she announced that you had just made successful contact with Earth.

“And we all have a certain ensign’s husband to thank,” she said with a smile as she looked right at you.

“To Lieutenant Reginald Barclay!” you cried happily as you lifted the champagne glass you held in your hand.

“I want to hear all about this Reginald Barclay,” Captain Janeway said.

“I was pouring through his medical record, and I saw that he’s been treated for-”

“Doctor!” you cried out, cutting him off. “With all due respect, I believe that the Captain was asking me.”

You then spent that night telling your Voyager crewmates all about your husband, from stories you’d heard about him from before you two met, to your whole romance, and everything of interest he’d been up to in the years of your marriage before your reassignment to Voyager.

As time went on, you and Barclay exchanged letters to each other whenever you could. When the doctor had Voyager send him to Jupiter Station to cure Dr. Zimmerman, he and Barclay talked about you. The doctor informed him of how you were doing, and what a fantastic job you were doing filling the roles of nurse, engineer, and holo novelist. When the doctor returned and you heard that he had spent some time with your husband, you asked him about how he was, and the doctor told him he was doing well for himself, but still missed you terribly.

When a datastream from Earth was missed one month, you feared the worst. However, when you received it the following month, and it turned out to be a hologram of your husband, you understood. You were happy to see him, but were a little put off by how different he was from the Reginald Barclay you remembered.

“No offense,” the doctor said to you after holographic Reg left sick bay with the doctor’s mobile emitter, “but there is something I really don’t like about that hologram.”

“It’s not just you. That hologram may look and sound like my Reggie, but it sure doesn’t act like the real McCoy.”

As it turned out, Reggie’s hologram was meant to be sent the prior month, but had been intercepted by a Ferengi ship that reprogrammed it, and waited a month to send it in place of the Pathfinder Project’s intended transmission for that month. Much to Reggie’s embarrassment, he had accidentally leaked this information to a Dabo girl who had posed as Reggie’s friendly new neighbor. He was embarrassed about how this might look, especially since he was a married man with a wife stranded on the opposite side of the galaxy, so he begged everyone involved with the debacle to keep it on the down low. Voyager’s crew would never know why the holographic Reggie would go on to betray Voyager and attempt to kill them all, but luckily they figured out what the hologram was up to in time to foil his plans, and then deactivate him indefinitely.

“Do you have any idea what could have caused your husband’s hologram to behave the way it did?”

“No,” you truthfully told Captain Janeway. “I can assure you that Reggie - Lt. Barclay would never have programmed that hologram to do that.”

“Your husband’s integrity isn’t in question here, Ensign. I’m just curious, is all.”

“I know, Captain. I’ve been pouring over it myself and the only answers that make sense to me are that Lt. Barclay programmed it to get Voyager home, but something went wrong in its programming to make it not realize that the method it proposed was hazardous to the crew, or…”

“Or?”

“Or someone who wanted to harm Voyager found out about my husband somehow, and sent us a hologram of him as a way to trick us.”

“But who would have enough knowledge of your husband and our situation, and the know how to pull something like this off, and has the grudge to want to?”

“That’s why I’m leaning towards my first theory, Captain. My husband is good and knows his way around a hologram, but he isn’t perfect. Plus, when it comes to me, I’m a little ashamed to admit I tend to cloud his judgement. Knowing him, it’s possible that he rushed to get that hologram programmed in time to be sent as the datastream, and didn’t take the time to carefully review its subroutines. Or he worked such late hours that his sleep deprivation prevented him from catching mistakes a well-rested Barclay would have no trouble compensating for.”

“Well, hopefully you can give him a stern talking to the next time you get the chance.”

You smiled. “I certainly shall.”

Soon enough, you and the rest of Voyager’s crew got to draw lots in order to determine the order that everyone got to have video calls with loved ones from home. When your turn came, you reported to Astrometrics, and felt your heart beating so fast, it was ready to burst out of your chest.

When Reggie’s face appeared on the view screen, you felt butterflies in your stomach and your face went flush. As soon as you both saw each other, you both got wide smiles and were so happy that you wanted to cry, even though a single word hadn’t been spoken between the two of you.

Though the two of you didn’t have a lot of time, you made the most of every second. He told you about the new apartment, and how he saved all of your belongings for you, and everything was all set up for you to come home any day now, though there was still no plan of getting you home any faster than going through the long way. You told him about the holo novels you’d written and your experiences working in sick bay. You also answered the questions he had about things on Voyager, like what Neelix was like, how the Maquis had integrated themselves into the Starfleet crew, etc. etc.

When Seven of Nine warned you that your time was about to expire, the two of you quickly exchanged “I love you”s as your good-byes.

You walked out of astrometrics that day with a skip in your step, and found that every night, until you arrived back at Earth, you played that video conversation in your head as you drifted off to sleep.

When Voyager did arrive back on Earth, and you realized that it had happened - and happened for real - you became a hyperactive nervous wreck. You were going to finally see your husband again, after being separated for seven long years! Luckily your captain took Starfleet protocols very seriously, so at least you knew that if you had to wear your uniform at touchdown, what to wear would be one less thing to worry about.

You packed up your things in a small backpack, recycling everything into the replicator that you felt you didn’t need. After all, you didn’t want something as annoying as a suitcase to get in the way of your special reunion.

You gathered with everyone you had spent the last seven years getting to know in Voyager’s cargo bay, and when they opened the doors, you were greeted with a huge crowd of people, confetti, balloons, streamers, and a roar of applause.

You immediately started scanning the faces of all the people gathered until you spotted him - your husband, Lt. Reginald Barclay.

“Reggie!” you cried out. At the sound of his name, he turned to you and put on the biggest smile. You ran to him and the two of you embraced and held each other tighter than you had ever held each other before. Once you pulled away from each other, you then shared a passionate kiss, and then embraced again.

“Oh, Reggie, I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, no baby, you have nothing to be sorry about.”

“When I left, I only meant to be gone for seven days, not seven years.”

You started to cry and Reggie held you close and let you cry into his shirt. You were so excited to be back together that you skipped all the “Welcome Home, Voyager!” celebrations and ceremonies, and let Reggie take you straight back to your new apartment, where you were finally able to show him how grateful you were to be back together with him, and you were very grateful.

After your ordeal on Voyager, you two vowed to each other that you would be staying on Earth - permanently - but if for some reason either of you were asked to go off world, you would go together, or resign your starfleet commissions - just in case.

Not long after your big reunion with Reggie, you started feeling a little sick, so you had him go with you to a certain doctor’s office.

“Well there’s no need to worry,” Voyager’s EMH said after examining you. “You aren’t sick. Though you should avoid strenuous activities and be more conscious of what you eat for the next eight months.”

“I don’t understand,” Reg said.

“The two of you are about to become parents. Congratulations.”

“Parents? You mean… I-I-I’m going to be a f-father?”

“That’s usually how it works, yes.”

You had been feeling overjoyed and content since the doctor shared the news with you, but when you looked at Reggie he seemed… odd. At least, he certainly wasn’t smiling.

“Reggie, are you okay?”

“Hmm? Me? Oh, I-I’m fine, really. I’m not freaking out.”

“Are you sure? Cause it kind of looks like you are.”

You then looked at the doctor and thanked him, before you and Reggie left his new Earth office together.

“Reggie… I thought we talked about this. Aren’t you happy? Excited? Why do you seem so devastated?”

“No, of course I’m happy, baby. Really, I am. I’m just caught off guard.”

“You seem like something else is bothering you. Something beyond just being surprised.”

Barclay let out a sigh and said, “I guess this happened a little fast.”

“I know I’ve barely been back, but we have been married for nine years now. Don’t you think it’s time we started having our family?”

“That may be, but we’ve only been together for two of those years.”

You scoffed. “You make it seem like it’s my fault that I was stranded in the delta quadrant.”

“You didn’t have to accept that reassignment to Voyager.”

You started crying.

“Oh, no baby, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“I have been dreaming of this day since I was a little girl. And if what happened to Voyager had never happened, or if I’d simply just not been on that ship when it got stranded, then we probably would have kids by now, plural. I know we weren’t exactly trying for this yet, and I can understand that you want to spend some time together, just the two of us, now that we finally can be together, but I thought this would be a cause for celebration. So why does it sound like we’re fighting?”

“Oh baby, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel like that,” he said as he pulled you in close for an embrace. “I’m happy about the baby. Honestly. I mean, I am a little worried about being a dad, I’m not exactly the best role model for a child, but I am going to love that little guy or girl so much, they are going to get spoiled rotten.”

You laughed at that, and then affectionately leaned into your husband’s chest. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The months went by, and before you knew it, you were going into labor. When the labor started, your husband was at work, so you had to call him.

“Is everything all right?” he asked.

“It’s time. Meet me at Starfleet Medical.”

“Oh! Now? Okay, I-I-I’m on my way!”

You gave birth to a baby girl that the two of you named Lily.

“Oh, she’s perfect,” Reggie said when he saw her in person for the first time.

“She is.”

When Lily was about 15 months old, you walked out of the bathroom in your home to see your husband, immersed in playing with your daughter by lightly tossing her up in the air.

“You’re really good at that.”

“It’s all i-in the wrist,” he said with a smile.

“No, I mean… being a father.”

Reggie held your daughter and looked you in the eyes. “You really think so?”

“I do. In fact, I’m so impressed with your performance, that I’m giving you a promotion.”

“A-a promotion?”

“From father of one to father of two.”

You watched emotions flicker across your husband’s face as the news sank in.

“Are you s-serious?”

“As a Vulcan,” you said as you pulled the positive pregnancy test out of your pocket, and showed it to Reggie.

“Another baby!” Reggie cried out. “Oh baby, this is wonderful news!”

Reggie walked over to you and kissed you on the forehead.

“You mean that? Cause I think I’m freaking out a little bit. I was so excited for Lily, and I love her with all my heart, but taking care of her has been more… taxing… than I realized it would be. I’m not sure I can handle another baby on top of the one we already have.”

“Well you-you’re not doing this alone,” Reggie said.

You looked at him and smiled.

“I don’t deserve you.”

Some time after your newest baby bump came in, your family got to star in a viral video of your own making. Well - it went viral in your social circle, anyway.

You were sitting next to your daughter, and she was right besides your pregnant belly.

“Who’s in there?” Reggie asked her.

“Baby!” she cried out happily.

“That’s right! What else?”

Lily gave her father a blank stare with her mouth hanging open.

“Is the baby… your sister?” he asked.

“No! My brother!”

“That’s right! That’s your baby brother!”

What the video didn’t capture was the affectionate way Reggie rested his hand on your stomach afterwards, and the loving look the two of you shared.

“Oh, that is so cute!” Admiral Janeway had gushed after Reggie proudly showed it to her at work the next day. “Congratulations Reg, you’ve got a beautiful family.”

“Thank you, Admiral.”

You and Reggie had discussed the family you wanted, and decided that you would stop after your second child was born. Reggie was supposed to get a vasectomy, but when the day of his appointment came, he chickened out and didn’t go. He also chickened out of telling you he didn’t go through with the procedure, and lo and behold, you wound up getting pregnant a third time.

“I am so sorry,” Reggie said in the doctor’s office.

“You don’t have to apologize. It may not be what we planned for, but I’m warming up to the idea of having a third child.”

“You’re sure you’re not mad?”

“What kind of a mother would I be if I got mad at my child for existing?”

Reggie smiled and said, “I am the one who doesn’t deserve you.”

You shook your head. Over the past decade plus, how many times had you and your husband said that to each other?

The doctor came into the office and waved his tricorder across your abdomen.

“Well, it looks like your suspicions were correct,” he said. “You are, indeed, pregnant.”

“I thought as much,” you said, looking at your husband.

“I can’t believe we’re having another child,” Reggie said.

“Not quite,” the doctor said.

“What does that mean, not quite?” Reggie asked.

“You're not having another child, singular. It’s twins. Congratulations.”

“Twins?!” you and Reggie both blurted out in unison.

You never imagined that you would someday have as many as four children. If someone had found you as a cadet and told you how your life would turn out, you probably would have found that more surprising than getting stranded in the Delta Quadrant for seven years.

Even though things didn’t exactly go the way you planned, when you look at your husband, and your four kids, you know that you wouldn’t change a thing.

THE END

[shadytreeangelfarm-blog]

And So It Goes (An Orville Fanfiction)

It seemed like a day like any other. You weren’t much for socializing, and preferred to spend your off duty hours in your quarters with a good book, but for whatever reason, tonight felt different. Even though it wasn’t your usual style, you felt like going to the mess hall, sitting at the bar, and having a drink. You’ve wanted to drink before, but you usually order it from your replicator.

“Ah hell. I probably should go out more anyway.”

You decided to let the feeling control you, and you went out to the mess hall. When you arrived at the bar, you were surprised to find a certain someone already there, drinking alone with only the bartender for company.

Oh you’ve got to be kidding me… of all the rotten luck…

“Good evening, Captain,” you said to the lonely drinker.

“Hello Lieutenant,” he said with a long face.

You stood still, staring at the captain, having an internal panic attack.

I can’t believe it! Of all days to come have a drink at the bar, the captain has to be here! What am I supposed to do now?! Do I join him and talk to him? He looks down… but what if he wanted to be alone? Would I just be annoying him? I can’t pester my captain like that, especially during his off hours!

But then again… what if this is the reason I came out here tonight? What if I was called by a higher power to help the captain through whatever it is he’s going through? After all, if he really wanted to be alone, he’d be in his quarters, not at the bar, right?

You took a subtle deep breath, and then approached the seat next to the captain.

“Is it all right if I join you, sir?”

Captain Mercer nodded in response, so you quickly took a seat and ordered your favorite drink. You felt tense and played with your hands, hoping that the bartender would make your cocktail as quickly as possible so you’d have something to do. While you were waiting, you bravely turned to face the Captain.

“I know that I’m just a lieutenant serving under you, and you and I don’t know each other outside of work, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I don’t have a lot of friends, so if you ever needed a confidant, I could be that for you, if you want, and if there aren’t any Union regulations against that sort of thing.”

The bartender served your drink, and you drank from it greedily while inwardly cringing.

“I appreciate the thought lieutenant, but I’m fine.”

You were so embarrassed, you were ready to chug the rest of your drink and retreat back into your quarters, but before you could he added:

“And just for the record, you aren’t just any lieutenant. You’re a valued member of my crew.”

“Thank you Captain.”

“And if you ever need anyone to come talk to, as your captain my door is always open.”

“Thank you sir, I appreciate it.”

“If you want any friends, I could help you with that too.”

“Oh God, no sir, thank you, but I don’t think my captain arranging me play dates is going to get me any friends.”

The captain laughed at that remark.

“That wasn’t what I had in mind, but actually I was thinking, more like a party.”

“A party? For what?”

“I don’t know, just a party for the sake of there being a party.”

“Oh.”

“What, you don’t like it?”

“Oh no sir, it’s not that, it’s just usually when we have a party it’s someone’s birthday or someone’s going away forever or indefinitely or something like that. But you’re the captain, so if you want to have a Tuesday party just cause it’s Tuesday I don’t see why we can’t.”

The Captain smiled.

“Tuesday. That should give me enough time. Lieutenant, let me invite you first to the Orville’s first annual Tuesday party.”

You smiled and watched the captain leave the mess hall with a renewed mood.You smiled. You can’t say a random party for no reason was exactly your idea of a good time, but it was fulfilling to know that instead of reading the next chapter of Taliesin, you helped someone out. And the fact that that person was your captain was like an added bonus. You finished your drink with a smile on your face, and whistled on the way back to your quarters.

You didn’t speak to the captain like that again until the day of the Tuesday party, which was about a week later since your conversation occurred on a Wednesday. You did see the captain once in the hallway, and in passing you two smiled at each other. You wanted to say something like, Looking forward to Tuesday!, but you weren’t able to work up the nerve.

When the time of the party came, you attended.

“Hey! Lieutenant!” the captain said as soon as he saw you come into the mess hall. “Thanks again for giving me this idea, it’s turning out to be really fun.”

You looked closely at the captain’s facial expression, and it seemed to you like he was faking his enthusiasm.

Oh no… this party was supposed to cheer him up, but it doesn’t seem like it’s doing that at all…

“You did a really good job setting this up, Captain,” you said. “I think I might just make a new friend tonight.”

You took a sip of the cocktail you picked up on your way in, and surveyed the room. That’s when you noticed Bortis (yes, Bortis) doing karaoke on a machine in the corner of the room.

“What’s the rules with the karaoke machine?”

The captain raised his eyebrows at you. “What… you sing?”

“Not often, only when I have liquid courage,” you said, lifting up the glass in your hand.

“All right, well just head on over, sign up with your song choice, and they’ll call you over when it’s your turn.”

“If you’ll excuse me, then.”

You walked over to the karaoke sign ups, and put your name down for a song you wanted to dedicate to your captain. You only waited through a couple more people after Bortis before it was your turn. When you got on stage, you looked at the partygoers and spotted Captain Mercer, who was looking right at you.

“I’d like to dedicate this song… to a new friend!”

The song you chose started playing. When prompted, you began to sing.

“You’re having a hard time and lately you don’t feel so good/

You’re getting a bad reputation in your neighborhood.”

You looked up from the screen and saw the captain watching you with a big grin on his face. You were trying to focus on not screwing up the lyrics to your chosen song, so you tried to look away from him and keep your eyes off of him. It also seemed to you like he was laughing? You knew you didn’t have a great singing voice, but was it that bad? Or was it the song choice?

After the song was over, you replaced the microphone and stepped off the stage. You went straight for Ed, as if you were drawn to him.

“Billy Joel,” he said with a big grin on his face.

“Billy Joel!” you said with delighted surprise. “Yeah! I - wow, I didn’t think you would know that song. I didn’t think anyone on this ship would know that song.”

“What, are you kidding me? Billy Joel is only one of the greatest human singers to ever live.”

“Wait wait wait, did you say human? Isn’t he, like, one of the greatest singers to live, period?”

The next thing you knew, you were in Captain Mercer’s quarters.

The next day, you found yourself walking into the captain’s office.

“Hey,” he said with a big smile. “I was just thinking about stopping by your quarters after my shift. I had a great time last night.”

“Me too,” you said, though you weren’t smiling.

“Is… everything okay?”

“I need to know something. I need to know what last night was to you.”

“What do you mean?”

You hesitated as you thought about how to proceed. You chose your words carefully.

“I am not the kind of girl who can just hook up with someone for the physical parts. I have a big heart, that’s been broken and re-glued together. It’s fragile, so if I’m going to be with someone, it needs to be something meaningful. I know that’s a lot to put on someone who I’m just getting to know, so if you want nothing more to do with me, I get it. We can move on as if last night never happened. Because if you’re just going to break my heart, then I’d rather you just do it now because the longer you wait the more it’s going to hurt.”

You were sobbing by the time you finished your little speech.

“Whoa, hey, hey, easy,” Captain Mercer said as he came around his desk to be right next to you. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ve… been hurt pretty badly too. I mean I don’t know what exactly you’ve been through, but I’ve gone to a pretty dark place too. So I get it. I can’t say I’m exactly ready to propose marriage, if that’s what you’re looking for, but I do know that I really like you, and I’d like to keep seeing you.”

You smiled as your tears turned into laughter.

“I’d like that too.”

After your romantic relationship with Captain Mercer went public, you noticed that your crewmates started to treat you differently. Some, who never noticed you before, went out of their way to be nice to you. Others, who also never noticed you before, would be cold and just plain rude to you. It never bothered you, because you were falling more and more in love with Ed Mercer every day.

After about two years together, you went out on an away mission to an unfamiliar planet. When you ran into an unexpected hiccup, you found a viewscreen and used it to call the Orville. When your ship answered your hail, you found yourself face to face with your boyfriend.

“[Your First Name], what’s going on? Are you all right?” he asked.

“Well, as it turns out there’s a group of indigineous individuals here that have found my location, and aren’t exactly super friendly. I’m sort of away from my shuttle, and there’s a lot of them, so I don’t think I can actually make it back without being detected by them.”

“Just stay where you are. I’m sending a team down to the surface to help you get out of there. Tallah!”

“Sir, our orders…”

You saw Ed’s jaw clench as he tightened his hands into fists.

“Okay, so I’m not sending a team down to the surface, but I will get you out of there.”

“It’s okay, Ed,” you said with a forced smile. “It’s like Billy Joel said, only the good die young. I may be young, but I am bad to the bone, so I’ll be fine.”

“You are a lot of things, but bad to the bone is definitely not one of them,” Ed responded.

“Ed, I-”

Before you could get the next two words out, the transmission went dead. You were taken as prisoner by the aliens you had warned the Orville about. They threw you in a cage with iron bars, directly over a patch of dirt in some dark cave.

You leaned against the bars, hugging your knees close to your chest. Your mind started to race. What were these aliens going to do to you? What were their intentions? Their ultimate goal? Would you ever see Ed again? Were you going to die in this miserable place? What would that do to Ed? Would he be able to recover your body? Would he be able to move on, find happiness with someone else?

These questions continued to race in your mind, until you snapped out of it by the sound of approaching footsteps. You looked up to see what was happening, and you were shocked to see the aliens were leading a prisoner to you, but it wasn’t just any prisoner - it was Ed! Your Ed, Ed Mercer, captain of the starship Orville!

“Ed!” you called out as you instantly sprang up to your feet. The aliens opened the cage door, pushed Ed in, closed it, and then disappeared again. You ran up to him and put your arms around him.

“What are you doing here?” you asked.

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m here to save you.”

You scoffed, and then kissed him.

“Well, I want to say, at least you tried, but if I’m going to die, I don’t want you to die with me…”

“Hey. We are not going to die, all right?”

“But I thought the Orville had orders from Union Command that we are not to engage these aliens. Isn’t that why you couldn’t send Talla and a team? And why you ended up coming here alone, you sweet idiot?”

Ed chuckled at that, and then he leaned his forehead against yours and said, “this wouldn’t be the first time the Orville has gone against the wishes of Union Command. Besides, we can probably find a way out of here ourselves.”

Ed pushed himself away from you and went to the bars surrounding the two of you. He looked around for a while, but eventually found no way out.

“All right, looks like we’re stuck in here until somebody saves us,” Ed said, sitting down next to where you were. “Unless you’ve got a plan on how we’re going to bust out here, since you’re so bad to the bone.”

You buried your own face in embarrassment.

“Oh no, you’re not going to let me live that down, are you?”

“Why did you say that anyway?”

“I thought that those were going to be my last words! I wanted to say something, I don’t know, cool, I guess. And you shouldn’t be judging me! You once told me that when you thought you were going to die, you exclaimed, I’m going to the bathroom to read!”

“As I explained to both you and Kelly, those were Elvis’s last words, okay? At least it was actually last words, not Billy Joel lyrics. If you really died and that was the last thing I heard you say, Billy Joel would have been ruined, okay? You would have ruined Billy Joel for me forever, so...”

You reached over to Ed’s hand and gave it a tight squeeze.

“I was trying to say something else, before the message got cut off. So technically those were going to be my last words, if that helps.”

“What were you trying to say?”

“I love you.”

Ed smiled and kissed you.

“I love you too.”

You then spent the remainder of your shared time in captivity trying to pass the time however you could think of. Eventually, you started thinking about things you would do when you were able to return to the Orville.

“When I get back to the Orville, I’m going to go to a replicator, and order a slice of pumpkin pie with whipped cream, and a glass of 2% milk.”

“Really?”

“Judge me all you want, that isn’t going to make me love pumpkin any less.”

“No, it’s not that. I’m surprised that you’d limit yourself to one slice. I thought you’d order the whole pie.”

You laughed at that. “Maybe I shouldn’t even bother with the crust and just order a can of pumpkin filling. With whipped cream! Can’t forget the whipped cream.”

You smiled and still let small chuckles escape from you. You looked over at Ed and saw he had a serious look in his eyes, but he was still smiling.

“When I get back to the Orville, I want us to get married.”

You instantly stopped chuckling.

“What?”

“Hold on. I can’t do this without a ring.”

“Are you serious?”

Ed got up from the ground and started to look around.

“There’s got to be something around here… like a rusted out loop or something.”

“Ed, I don’t want to wear something sharp that’ll probably barely fit me and give me tetanus or some alien version of it. If you want to give me a ring, there’s no rush.”

“All right. Yeah, no no, it was a dumb idea anyway. But at least I can do this part right.”

You had risen to your feet, so Ed got down on one knee and took your hand in his.

“[Your Name], will you marry me?”

“Yes!”

The two of you sealed the deal with a kiss, and the remainder of your time in captivity didn’t seem so bad. Eventually the two of you were rescued and brought back aboard the Orville. You didn’t share the news of your engagement until after Ed could get a proper engagement ring (he insisted on it), and he had made arrangements for an admiral to come aboard the ship and do the honors.

After you were married, Ed tried to carry you across the threshold, but either you were too heavy or he wasn’t that strong. Let’s go with the second one.

You got into a shuttle that had the words “Just Married” written on the back and flew off to a nearby resort planet to have your honeymoon.

“I wonder if the Orville’s doing all right?” Ed randomly wondered aloud one day.

“I’m sure they’re fine. I mean, I know you’re the glue that holds that place together, but I think they can manage without you for a few days.”

Little did you know then, but as you would later learn, at that exact moment the ship was under fire from the Kaylon, but they survived, got the necessary repairs done, and no one was critically injured, so once you made it back after the honeymoon, neither of you were any the wiser until Ed read Kelly’s report of the incident.

From that day forward, Ed’s quarters became your quarters. Your crewmates had been treating you differently after you started dating Ed, but they changed once again once you were officially his wife. All of a sudden, the kiss-ups were becoming more aggressive, and the cold shoulder types weren’t being cold anymore; they joined team kiss up.

After about three months of marriage, you went into sick bay following a bout of nausea. You were surprised to learn from Dr. Finn that you were pregnant, as this was not something that you had planned. You headed back to your quarters, and waited for your husband to join you when he got off duty for the day. You had been sitting in a chair by the door when he came in.

“Hey,” he said affectionately when he saw you. He came up to you and gave you a quick peck on the forehead before then turning his back to you to remove his uniform.

“You missed a classic Bortis moment on the bridge. Speaking of which I have got to have another talk with Gordon about this. He-”

He stopped himself after he turned around and saw the long look on your face.

“What’s going on? Is everything okay?” he asked, crouching down next to where you were sitting with the front of his uniform unzipped.

“I’m pregnant, Ed.”

Ed gave you a shocked look before he said, “What pregnant, like… with a baby?”

You gave a slight smile. “That’s generally how it goes, yeah.”

“Oh wow.”

“Yeah… oops, right?”

“I mean, I know we didn’t plan on this,” Ed said as he grabbed your hands in his, “but I’m really excited about this.”

“Really? You mean that?”

“Of course I do. Honey, you’ve made me the happiest guy in the whole universe. And the fact that you’re gonna have my baby just makes me love you even more. And I cannot wait to meet that little guy or girl.”

“Oh thank God, I really thought you were gonna freak out on me!”

You embraced Ed and he hugged you tightly.

“Oh crap, I’m not hurting the baby, am I?” he asked as he quickly pulled away from you.

“No, I don’t think you can squish the baby with a hug. Unless you’re maybe Isaac or Talla. I mean if you couldn’t even carry me over the threshold-”

“All right, you made your point.”

The two of you then silently looked at each other.

“A baby, huh?” he asked.

“A baby,” you repeated with a big smile. You then shared a kiss with your husband.

In the days of your pregnancy, Ed was very doting and caring of you. You also caught him freaking out about becoming a dad, so you did your best to try to calm him. As you would later learn, he also had these freaking out moments when you weren’t around, and Kelly also helped put his fears to rest.

On the day you were supposed to find out the gender of your baby, you had Ed meet you in sick bay for the ultrasound.

“All right, there is your baby,” Dr. Finn said as she glided the scanner over your belly.

“Oh wow,” you said. It was your first time seeing your baby.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” Ed asked. If you weren’t so enamored with your baby, you might have picked up on Ed’s suspicious behavior.

“Well I don’t see a penis, so it looks like your baby is a girl, Captain.”

“Crap, that means I owe Gordon time off.”

You looked at Ed with an icy stare, and Dr. Finn joined you.

“Really Ed?” you asked. “You made a bet with Gordon about the baby’s gender, and that’s all you’re thinking about right now? Whether you won or lost your bet?”

“Hold on just a minute…” Dr. Finn said.

“What is it? Did you find the penis?”

“No, but I did find something.”

“What is it? Is everything okay?” you asked.

“Oh no, everything’s all right, but…”

“But?” Ed asked.

“It’s another baby. You two are having twins.”

“Twins?” Ed asked.

“I-I don’t believe it. I mean, I only have one set of twins in my family, but I always thought they were twins because of their other family.”

“It might be my fault then. They run in my family,” Ed said.

“I never knew that,” you said.

Ed just shrugged and said, “it never came up.” He then turned to Dr. Finn and asked, “what about the other one? Is there a penis on that one?”

You shot Ed another glare and he just shrugged with a semi-guilty look on his face.

“No, it looks like twin girls.”

“I think that means I owe Gordon double time off.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose. Was this really the man you were about to have children with?

Your pregnancy proceeded normally. You took maternity leave once you started getting close to your due date, but you insisted that Ed continue on with his duties as normal.

On the day you went into labor, the Orville was under attack. You had been taking it easy in your quarters when the ship began to quiver around you. You did your best to protect your unborn daughters from getting banged around, but as you were doing so, your water broke.

“Oh no…”

Assuming that your husband was busy being the captain, you decided not to call him. Instead, you made your way over to sick bay by yourself. You struggled to get there, so two of your fellow crew members who saw you in the halls helped you there.

“Are you all right?!” Dr. Finn asked as she quickly rushed to your side.

“My water broke…”

“Okay, don’t worry. Just hop on the biobed and we’ll take a look, all right?”

“With all due respect doctor, I’m nine months pregnant with twins. I don’t think I can do any hopping.”

The two good samaritans who helped you to sick bay also stuck around long enough to help you up onto one of the biobeds.

“Are they going to be okay? Am I in labor?” you asked the doctor.

“It looks like it, yes. But you’re going to be in labor for a while longer, and I am in the middle of a triage crisis.”

Dr. Finn started to walk away.

“No, please!”

Despite your cries, Dr. Finn left you to treat some crewmates who were critically wounded. You wanted her to stay with you, but you knew that the doctor was making the right call.

“Do you want us to call the captain for you?” one of your crewmates asked.

“No. The doctor said I’m going to be in labor for a while and he shouldn’t be distracted. As long as he’s here for the birth.”

Once things calmed down a bit and the other patients were out of the woods, Dr. Finn came to check on you.

“How are you doing?”

“Oh, just super,” you said while cringing.

“It looks like your babies are going to start coming soon. Where’s your husband?”

“I haven’t called him yet. I thought he might be needed on the bridge.”

While the triage patients were okay, the Orville still wasn’t quite in the clear.

“Captain Mercer to Sick Bay,” your husband’s voice rang out over the intercom.

“Speak of the devil,” you heard Dr. Finn mutter to herself.

“This is Dr. Finn, go ahead captain.”

“How are things going down there? Any casualties?”

“No, captain, but I think you’d better come down here as soon as you get the chance.”

“Is everything all right?”

“It’s one of the patients. Your wife’s gone into labor.”

There was a pause before a frantic sounding Ed said, “I’m on my way!”

The next thing you knew, in what seemed like an impossibly fast amount of time, Ed had appeared in the sick bay. It was almost scary how his face just suddenly appeared over you.

“I’m here. It’s okay. Are you okay? Is she okay?”

“Don’t worry, captain, she’s just experiencing normal labor pains.”

“Emphasis on the pain part,” you said.

“Okay, well, wh-what can I do?”

“There’s not much you can do. Just be there for moral support.”

“Moral support. Right. Okay, I can do that.”

Once you were fully dilated, Dr. Finn coached you through your pushing. Once the first baby started to crown, Ed took one look at the action, and fainted.

“Ed!”

“Don’t worry about him, just keep pushing!”

“But he’s gonna miss it, I mean, is he even okay?”

“He’s going to be just fine, I promise. He’ll probably come back to any moment now.”

“No, we have to wait for him.”

“You can’t wait, this is happening now, whether you want it to or not.”

Dr. Finn then signaled for one of her nurses to give Mercer a stimulant to revive him. He came to, just in time to see your first baby emerge.

“Here’s the first one,” Dr. Finn said as she brought the baby to you and rested her on your chest.

“Oh! Oh, hi, little one,” you said.

“Captain, so good of you to join us,” Dr. Finn said. “If you’re feeling up to it, there’s an umbilical cord here that needs cutting.”

Ed, still reeling from everything, slowly rose up from the ground and cut the cord. Then, you delivered your second baby, and repeated the process. Ed looked like he wanted to pass out, but he was able to stay conscious.

Once the babies were both being dressed by Dr. Finn, Ed slumped into a nearby chair.

“Boy, I am exhausted,” he said.

You shot him icy daggers.

“You’re exhausted?”

“Well, no I mean, I didn’t just have two babies, but I was on the bridge, and there were these aliens that were firing us, and-”

“Relax my love, I’m just giving you a hard time.”

Now it was his turn to glare at you.

“All right, here they are!” Dr. Finn said as she rejoined the two of you with one baby in her arms, and the other in the arms of a nurse. You took Dr. Finn’s and the nurse handed theirs off to Ed.

“Wow, would you look at em?” Ed said as he walked over to your bedside.

“I know. They’re so perfect.”

The two of you were in awe of your new baby daughters for a while, just staring without saying a word. After you both had enough time to recuperate from the experience and the ship was officially out of danger, you had a steady stream of crewmates coming to meet the captain’s new baby girls.

It was a joy to watch your girls grow up. They were fraternal, but even if they had been identical, you two would have not had any trouble telling them apart. The first one born essentially grew up to be the female version of her father. The younger twin was basically your own clone. She looked enough like Ed, but she acted exactly like you. The two of you couldn’t be happier.

END