she-shall-conquer

[she-shall-conquer]

(Jay Matthews.)

Track’s up. It’s old, it sounds old. Throwback Sunday? 

[she-shall-conquer]

The Controversialism of Inequality

I dream of a day when the church will no longer piggy back on the latest trends. I dream of a time when the church prides itself at being better at Human Resource Management and Leadership than at Marketing. What’s new right? John Donne has been saying this for (literally) centuries! The Bible has been pretty constant about it’s messages regarding the treatment of people, and yet only now is the church getting “woke”? Excuse me if I doubt your intentions… (however necessary and faux-noble). But also, how can you raise the race issue without bringing up the topic of gender? To be clear: Racial Inequality is a REAL issue and should be discussed and I’m glad that the topic is coming up, but why did it take BLM to make it happen? I’m pretty sure (absolutely certain) that the biggest contention of prejudice addressed in the New Testament was, you guessed it, racism… Now if we do the math: The Bible is one of the best selling books of all time, one of the most translated books of all time, and the fact that a vast majority of the colonized world was colonized by “Christian” nations. Therefore, this colonization should prides itself in establishing the least racist places, with the most selfless and loving cultures and have a great deal of generosity with perhaps a slightly lower poverty gap.

Oh, wait…

That’s right, folks, we stuffed up real good on this one… And how I wish we could all return to the genuine authenticity that I read about constantly. It pains me so greatly. Its like reading Narnia and knowing that Narnia exists, so you go to Narnia and it’s Game of Thrones. Man, oh man, the disappointment. This being said, there are a lot of missionaries and missionary schools that have done a world of good, people with pure hearts and altruistic intentions — these have been besmirched and thrown out with the dirty, grimy bathwater of exploitation, greed, and contempt. Furthermore, there are countless arguments, sides to the story, and this is a very real discussion with personal implications that needs to be had amongst brothers and sisters (in Christ) in practice and in community. Just a note — if you want to effectively teach people anything, psychologically, just talking at people is possibly the worst way to do it (just saying); it’s an organizational problem that requires change and development of an entire culture. This is a debate for another day and a more researched perspective/argument.

I believe it’s important to note that Christianity was never meant to be a social revolution, there are no colour codes or banners or marches or slogans. I don’t believe that Christianity supports slavery, I mean William Wilberforce was motivated to end the slave-trade because of his faith, but it speaks about slavery and how to treat your slaves/masters. This might be confusing at first approach. From my understanding what I see is that respect, love, and one’s heart were far more important than moral absolutes, which completely does in my need for justice.

Y'all got any more of that… Captain America?

But the New Testament is also excruciatingly clear about how people in the church should treat each other. If the Body of Christ (the Church) is family, it should be the safest place, it should b the place where you can be most yourself, and where people can be most honest with you about which parts of yourself are good and bad. It’s all part of the constructive learning process. In the New Testament, the bad parts of people were confronted when they were, in no uncertain terms, told to stop being so prejudiced. They were told to stop treating rich people better than poor people, told to stop treating Jews better than non-Jews, even Jesus treated the sinner and saint with the same love and dignity — a little less dignity, but still love, towards the proud and the hypocritical. From these values arose the declaration that in Christ there is no longer man nor woman, slave nor free, Jew nor Gentile. These are arguably the three ‘-isms’ that have wrought the greatest havoc on our current world and society and have been proponents of the greatest evils: racism, sexism, and classism (I see you there, Mr. Marx). Abolished and condemned along with the sins of the world are our prejudices and our shortcomings. But as a Western Charismatic church, I do not believe we have established a church culture that is free of these things, but maybe in our attempt to address the racism in our church culture, these other two will also surface.

Please understand that this piece of writing is not so much about what the practical outworking of it is as much as it is the value structure that influences how we treat people, built into our cognition. If we can work towards addressing that, I believe the practical outworking will follow, or be addressed at a later stage, perhaps by someone else. Inequality, and subsequent abuse, on a broad scale is often the result of an inherent cultural cognition that places features on a value hierarchy: rich are more valuable than poor, white are more valuable than non, men are more valuable than women (as per history’s norm). This is what I would like to address.

Gender inequality is not the “burn your bra” brigade or anything that God-fearing Christians should be afraid of, it’s a commitment to seeing the restoration and empowerment of women — she that gave birth to you. And apparently, I’m not the only one that uses this point — in fact, it wasn’t my point to begin with, it’s the Apostle Paul’s. After the section in 1 Corinthians where he’s done talking about not letting women speak and disrupting everything by asking questions about things they don't know (you know that part where he says they should rather ask the questions at home instead of disrupting the prayer meeting, which really has a lot to do with a lack of education) he speaks about God’s view of women, where there is no hierarchical difference. Woman was made of man, but man is born of a woman. This is gender inequality, where we refuse to see the perspective and heart of God, where God uses people equally, and views people equally — what we ask is that the hierarchy of value be eliminated from, at least, our church culture so that we can start to put an end to the ghastly horrors of violence against women.

Is violence against men a reality? Yes, undoubtedly, yes! But statistics show that a vast majority of victims are female, and of those females, it is more than likely perpetrated by a male. So instead of doing the dumb pretense of guilt thing that we do so often when we finally realize we have been wrong, let us be motivated by guilt (which focuses on others and their suffering) and not shame (which focuses on ourselves). These errors in judgement and culture are pointed out to help us all grow.

The South African news has been rife with stories of rape, murder, abduction, and abuse of women, and these are only a few of the stories. Women in Sub-Saharan African have a 1 in 3 (36.6%) chance of experiencing gender-based violence in their life time, a region with the third highest prevalence in the world. Something has got to give. How can we idly stand by and just send condolences, Facebook-React with a teary face, share, re-tweet, like, or change our profile picture? It’s deeper, friends, far deeper. When will we stop and re-evaluate our culture, our societal norms? How many more of our children, our aunties, our nieces, our students, our girlfriends, our best friends, our dear loved ones must bear the burden of abuse before we start to relook at our culture? If you like me, have stumbled upon the disillusionment of discord, between what you believe, what you read about, compared to what you see in practice, here are a few considerations I humbly ask you to think about, to look into, and to build upon:

Step 1: A Product of Your Society

Research says the relationship between culture and language and cognition is reciprocal, you influence your culture and your culture influences you, and your language shapes your culture and cognition just as your culture shapes your language and your way of thinking. To understand that our value system is a much deeper social construct than our individual upbringing and our own choices and beliefs is a necessity in bringing change. Culture is so very nuanced and so very fundamental to our entire being that we cannot just make a decision to separate it from our way of life, we cannot learn information or even practices that might entirely change the way we think. Even the way we talk influences how we think and therefore what we do, this is why “locker room talk” is a problem, because language shapes culture and cognition and cognition shapes language and culture. I’m not suggesting that we just keep our mouths shut for fear of saying the wrong thing or go on a witch hunt for bad statements, but rather let’s be open to having a brother or sister give helpful, loving feedback on our comments. This can in turn help us to recognize underlying prejudices in our cognition that we were perhaps unaware of. This is not to say that you are not to be held responsible for your prejudices, but let’s all remember that dehumanizing people solves nothing at all. We should all recognise that along with our culture and our upbringing, there are certain values that come along and form apart of our cognitions and processing mechanisms — ones we need to be open to addressing and mending. This is not easy, but if we’re all on the same team of Love, Kindness, and Respect, it makes it a lot easier. This of course, on top of the fact that we are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds?

Step 2: Right/Wrong are Contextual Variables

A team can be a lot more effective when half the team doesn’t have to run with a limp (or a pair of heels/a dress, ya know). It may be crudely comparable to a soccer game where half the team keeps getting carded for using too much of their hips while running, or flicking their hair too inappropriately, or their shorts being too short, or their laces not being long enough, or whatever ridiculous reason is being used for why the other team keeps scoring. The team would (or should) no doubt be up in arms, because of how it hinders their effectiveness to play the game, which is of course the main point. It may also be like saying that certain demographic categories of players may only be in the team as subs, none of them are ever allowed to be in the starting line-up, but they’ll be used if there’s no one else left. This is not a good strategic move to enable the goal to be achieved. And for some real talk, if we had to put all the highest earning players in the starting line up, it might be that we have selected the best players, but why would we make that a rule and sell ourselves short of employing the best strategy of players and placement based on their strengths and ability according to the context? I’ll not insult your intelligence by explaining just how we do exactly this in the church/societal norms. We forget that there is a great deal of contextualization apparent int he Bible. God remains the same, his heart and values remain unchanged, but in certain situations an action is wrong and in other situations it is right. If we look at the Bible purely as a book of moral absolutes of course there will be irreconcilable contradictions.

One of the reasons I dislike personality test is because they always ask for absolutes, of which I have none in my life. There is no one action that I will always take regardless of circumstance. We all have circumstantial decisions and choices we have made dependent on our values and beliefs. Often our values remain unchanged, be it principle based or outcomes based, even though our decisions differ. What am I getting at? We need to mine the various accounts of the God we serve, as well as personally invest time and devotion, to know His heart, and His values (if serving and following Him is something we want to do), and then, with His mercy and guidance, start to evaluate our current practices and see if they really are as Gospel-oriented as we think they are, and if they are in line with His values. In the culture of the time, I understand, let the educated people teach the other people. So in that case, women don’t teach, right? But if the church is family and family is where you should be most yourself, if women can’t lead or teach, how can you substantiate women studying management, or women being CEOs or presidents, or women being lecturers? It’s a cognitive dissonance that needs to be re-evaluated. Perhaps you don't agree with women being in these “secular positions”. Why? Is it possible that where the church has failed to press on with the agenda and has been crippled and sidetracked by secondary issues that the world has caught up? Let us examine our context in light of His Heart.

Step 3: The Talking Listening Cure

I referenced Freud in this step, but it really has nothing to do with him, except for his novel idea of talking through situations and circumstances in order to understand and reach a conclusion. What he really did, was listen. So should we. Of course I don’t know everything and I never will, not even about this particular issue. I do however know that it’s not so much about the philosophy as much as it is about having and acting upon values that will shape my relationships with those around me. We are focused on the goal of love, but how do we love? This is the question we need to be continually asking. To love is to pay attention, to listen, to hear, to move towards understanding and to value (love your neighbor as you love yourself). May we not only learn to listen, but may a deep yearning and desire to listen be born within our hearts and minds, may we be malleable and teachable. Let’s start the conversations in the closets of our homes, leaning in to hear the heart of the Almighty, and looking at the Bible more holistically and in context, never losing sight of the main point: Love, Truth, Light, Hope — Jesus. And then, take it one step at a time, speaking to those closest to you, then slowly broadening the topic to your community. This may help in emphasizing that is not a “Femi-Nazi rampage” but rather an honest questioning of how to love and value others better, from the very core of our hearts and minds, which will then change how we act, what we say, and how we treat those that are ‘different’ to us.

Final Thoughts

We don’t choose these things when we are born, I didn’t decide to be born a woman, or be born with my skin colour, or be born into the social class that I was, but yet, these are things people use to attribute value to me, each with their own measurement sticks (or pencils)… We all do it to a degree, and we all have it done to us to a degree. This is not my plight to be valued or recognized, this is my questioning of our culture and values that ultimately shape how we treat others and how we mistreat others.

You want to know why #MenAreTrash? Not because you as a man are trash, but because societal values and norms more often than not establish a value hierarchy that enables men to abuse women. The concept of a man that is often taught and learned is trash. Yes, it is a generalisation, but that’s kind of how statistics work. For all the things men are allowed to say or do, even with harmless intentions, that shapes culture and in turn shapes other men, that spirals to rape, murder, abuse, that concept of a man is trash. This is a desperate plea for men and women alike to relook at what you do, why you do it, and what your underlying cognitions are — this is a call to re-examination of values, particularly in the church.

I’m not asking us to revolt, I’m asking us to structure our organization, the church, differently, where we remain true to his heart and the call He has placed upon us. I ask that we move towards a church that exemplifies the heart of God, where everyone has equal value and equal ability to contribute, regardless of race, gender, or socio-economic status/class.

I hold no sway in formal church structures, mostly because I’m young, and a woman, and not married to an elder, (give or take) so in the spirit of using what I have to do the best I can, I aim to start exploring this topic in greater detail, through research, through art, and through engagement/conversation.

[she-shall-conquer]

(Jay Matthews.)  

[she-shall-conquer]

(Jay Matthews.)

my memory was jogged and I decided to give this old piece another go.

[she-shall-conquer]

Description on SoundCloud. Channeling my best acoustic Janis Joplin/Yoko Ono.

[she-shall-conquer]

Ideas for the next SCF, titled around this piece...

[she-shall-conquer]

Planted in the Pain

The worst versions of ourselves are created when we hold onto pain. As soon as we hold onto anything, whether it be a person, a memory, pain, or even a dream, we open ourselves up not only for disappointment, but we become conscripts to failure and despair. Time and matter are fluid, constantly changing and shifting in the motion of the universe. Transcendence is our modern “Ecstasie” where we get glimpses into the realm of God, where time does not exist and our lives are no longer measured by the split seconds of actions that we take. Just as we realize that nothing is completely solidified when set course upon the ocean — nothing we stand upon is a solid construct of assurance, but rather a moving, breathing, active part of our lives. In our attempt to make things solidified and predictable, we have brought death upon ourselves. The universe is living, breathing, and moving — and to be honest, that scares us nearly to death. But really, in all the death we have wrought, even the atoms are still active and alive, moving, breathing, swelling, and in constant motion. Even time has lungs that make time a relativity, depending on where you are in the universe. Time is shallow, and is the ultimate straw-man. And like music, no metronome can tame this wild beast that moves in tides and seasons that will not obey our ticking clock constraints. The sooner we learn this, the sooner we live.

Time is like the woman of the Proverbs 31 legend, laughing at the days to come with peace and content in the waxing and waning of joy and security. When we use clocks like metronomes and forget that even those clocks will lose time, we create gaping holes and broad targets where pain can bang its fearless war drums and hand to us our fated blood-debt. Never forget this — pain is wholly unavoidable and entirely necessary, for a beating heart is a bleeding heart and in a world crafted in the midst of grief and joy, our language is formed by the contrast where darkness and light define each other (and we are left to color in the pieces). We need science to tell us that really darkness is the absence of light, but it is not an innate self-discovery, much like we need the Divine to reveal to us that sorrow is a byproduct of the absence of good, and not as we would suppose the shadow of our love.

Pain is really neither a teacher nor a friend — not in the way that we understand it in any case. Our pain is in no way necessary to teach us about life, for this assumes that we learn through personal experience and exploration. This sentiment is not entirely incorrect, but is comprehensively inconclusive. It would take only a cruel hypothetical experiment of having a baby grow up in isolation to teach us exactly this. We were of course born into community, with a need for it and a severe sense of incompletion and a profound lack of happiness without it. When we take this for granted or when we don’t acknowledge, even engage with this, we do ourselves a disservice and become ignorant. One of the biggest schools in psychology discovered this decades ago and has placed it as one of the core tenets of the entire theory — we learn through observation. I would even argue that this is our primary channel of acquiring and assimilating information. When we observe someone going through pain and then positively and proactively engaging with and embracing pain so as to learn and move through it, we are handed a guideline to model after and a manner of processing which we might not otherwise know. When we observe others overcome, we are taught how to survive. When we ourselves go through pain, the outside world will more than likely become avoidant of our unmanageable situation as we stumble about in the cold darkness of our own misfortune. It is this fumbling through our own pain that charts a course of action for others.

The preliminary conclusion, therefore, is that our learning is what we do when we hear the stories of others or watch others go through situations. We learn vicariously and we learn through the example of those whom we watch and those that present themselves and their stories to us; in that we begin to take after those we esteem and those we watch more closely. We can learn lessons well when we learn from the mistakes of others as the entire package comes to us prepared with the lessons marked out — as opposed to us clambering our way through the dark of our pain and our problems. Learning and experience are two very separate things. We can learn without encountering our own sets of experiences, or perhaps having no reference at all, but rather our ability to generalize between situations. We also make the error of believing that experience is equivalent to learning. This is truly the problem with any form of qualification, as it presents opportunity to learn and the facilitation of it but it does not ensure it. Learning is something very different that requires application and integration, as well as a personal commitment to growth and vulnerability (first and foremost with oneself). To learn is to engage and to critically analyze information and one’s own mental constructs — as best one can — in order to grow. Learning in and of itself has its own kind of hardship that requires malleability and keeping oneself from hardening and bitterness. In the words of Brene Brown, we are “Imperfect and wired for struggle, but we are worthy of love and belonging”. Learning provides a challenge, but challenges do not leave scars. Cutting down a tree is different to pruning, yet at the time of the cut they may feel quite the same. We need challenge and difficulty to overcome. Pain is different in that it is intricately linked with grief. So really, there is much to learn from others and in many ways it can prevent our own pain because we get to use the experiences of others. What else are stories good for? What else is art or music good for?

In his review of the Crucibles of Leadership, Calvin’s sentiment is that: “Experience by itself guarantees nothing.“ It identifies that experience is definitely linked to learning, and can be an incredibly effective way to learn when harness in the right way so as to form part of the crucibles of leadership. It speaks of identifying defining moments in one’s life and reflecting on these so as to be able to, as an Aesop’s fable, glean some form of important life-changing insight and knowledge that will shape your character and who you are. I believe this shows that experiences are redeemable and benefit to the character and person that we become, but it goes without saying that experience won’t inadvertently produce it in us — as with most things in life, if depends on our response.

The question asked is this: “Is it possible to harness the power of experience?” This comes down to learning and being able to learn, something which is taught through this book and is seen as paramount. We need to learn to learn in order to respond and adapt as we are required to do in today’s environment. The idea that we aren’t even guaranteed to be able to learn optimally means that there is no way that we can simply expect that experience will help us in a good way. Of course we learn, but that we can learn to learn better means that the learning we do may be unhelpful if not detrimental.

The pain is from the experience, and the true saving grace is that bad experiences are not time wasted, but they can be turned for the good. And we continue to think that experiencing something will make us more knowledgeable or have a greater understanding. In the learning that occurs in spite of our pain, we are taught to see our pain differently — as something transient, and in many cases, the community and society around us unlocks our sense of hope and our understanding of the future Future is also specific to language, time is seen differently depending on where you come from. The future, getting better, and hope, even learning from experience is something into which awe are brought through the function of community. Included in socialization are our stories of gods or heroes, legends and fairy-stories, they’re all part of what teaches us to not give up. Our instinct of survival says: stay away from the dragon, what is it that makes us go out of our way for something not key to our survival in the face of impending doom. What makes us believe that it can be done?

As children it may be very natural to our being to have this hope and child like wonder, and if it is examined with this perspective, where the seeking out of knowledge and hunger for increased ability is profoundly noticeable, it may have an easy explanation. Children see adults that easily do everything they cannot do. How often do children try mimic adult habits? These make for great viral videos, but there is perhaps something more fundamental. Childhood is centered around challenging mastery of tasks that are at the time completely impossible.

If you’re constantly in an environment where almost everyone is functioning at a completely different level to you, of course you might believe in achieving the impossible, because that’s what you’re aiming to do on a daily basis. You don’t magically know language at a certain age — you learn it, much like you learn to read and write, you learn mathematics, and you learn how to see and understand the world.

Now this of course leads to a conclusion of sorts: learning is inseparable from experience. Without information being presented to you, it is impossible to know it (generally speaking). My point, however, is that learning is not the product of your own personal experience, in that experiencing a situation will enable you to have learnt better, and in particular, experiences of pain.

Science has a part to play in this line of thought. Experiments are conducted as a part of the scientific process, but the need for objective and the clarity of understanding and perspective it provides is recognized as key to the scientific process. (While objectivity is impossible, we can make it more objective.) The scientist doesn’t place himself in the experiment to enhance his/her learning, neither does the scientist advise that readers of the study should all “try it at home.” This is not to say that experience is unhelpful or not useful, but it is to suggest that experience is not the gold standard or learning — interaction is. Interaction is how we learn about the world. One could also consider the notion of self-help or recovery groups. They are always lad by soon who is further along in their recovery process, and they facilitate the recovery of the rest of the group. People that have no hope come into a place where there are people that have made it through the difficulty they cannot see beyond, and again like the child, we see an individual surrounded by impossibility, and a space for them to achieve it and grow into what they currently cannot.

Onto pain, which is really the point of this discussion. Pain is what happens in experience and emotional investment and can definitely take its toll on us. When we talk about the emotional or psychological pain that we experience, we talk about “grief” and in more extreme cases, “trauma”. Shepherd and Kuratko define grief as a “negative emotional response to the loss of something important, triggering behavioural, psychological, and physiological symptoms.” Grief can be seen as inherently linked to attachment; because if you don’t care, you don’t feel. If you really like Nutella, and buy a jar of it, when it breaks and falls, you experience far more grief than the person who decided to buy it on a whim, but also, you feel a greater sense of grief or loss if you can’t afford to buy another one till next month. It’s all in the checks and balances of personal investment and attachment.

Creatives are perhaps most at risk for grief experiences, as their personal investment into their art is what people pay for (or don’t pay for, which is why grief might occur). Shephard and Kuratko discuss entrepreneurial innovators and their grief experiences in response to a failed project. The more passionate the innovator about the project (and there for the more personally invested/attached), the greater the grief when the project fails. The logical solution to normalize failure and to not make it such a big deal actually hinders the amount of personal investment and passion the innovator puts into a project.

Let’s pause for a moment and talk about how this links to relationships. If you’ve ever had someone say you’re overreacting, you’re blowing it out of proportion, or that you don’t have a right to feel hurt, you should maybe listen to them, or maybe evaluate your own personal investment and the attachment you have formed to the person as a result of your passion that you have put into building this relationship. On this principle, barring any other complications, the more you have invested into a relationship, the more grievous the loss — and this is why if a person dies, a person that knew them for 2 months might be far more distraught that the friend of 2 years, because time does not always signify investment. The Relational Stock Exchange has its own fluctuations of recessions and booms. How beautiful and rare it is to find someone that hasn’t normalized the failure of friendship in their hearts and minds, that treats every new friend as a valuable investment of time, of listening, of heart, and of soul. It is a truly painful, but equally wonderful thing maintain a softness of heart. To keep it though, you do have to develop a bit of that thick skin, though. As with these innovators, although the pain is greater if it fails, the reward of it being a success, and the integrity of love and passion that is put into it is so very much worth it. What remains is a process of managing and trying to extract useful parts of the experience to learn from — thereby making ourselves more valuable.

Shepherd and Kuratko state that: “The implicit assumption is that learning from failure is automatic and instantaneous, but this is highly unlikely.” In fact, they go as far as to explain how grief hinders learning. From infancy, we are taught and conditioned to deal with pain and grief, we are told to stop crying, to be quiet, to handle it differently. Our ability to learn from grief is mediated by our ability to manage our grief in a positive manner. They find that while grief enhances the significance of an event, such as with crucible events, in that we are aware that these events are important, the grief itself can prevent us from being able to process the information so as to not learn from failure. Loss is often one of the most difficult things for us as humans to cope with, and too often in trauma situations, we forget what happens, or we obsess with trying to establish a narrative which tends to elude us more often than not and leaves us with a big and gaping “Why?”

In this particular article it is suggested that there are two main ways of dealing with grief, one  way focusing on establishing a narrative and letting go of emotional bonds (which can lead to dwelling on more negative thoughts), or distraction from the shortcomings and a proactive approach that suppresses emotions and aims to move forward (which in the moment is okay, but in the future, the psychological and physical problems re-emerge after being suppressed). They suggest switching between these two, so as to not allow nativity to become overbearing and consuming, as well as to prevent complete suppression and ensure a narrative can be established.

Tying the crucibles to this grief exploration, the fundamental necessity of self-awareness is ever-apparent. Without being willing to confront the darkness in us and the pain that we carry, we cannot hope to learn anything. This is a great blow to our protective egoist mechanisms because it requires vulnerability and an admittance of imperfection and insufficiency. We may need to sacrifice our “self-worth” to be able to connect with who we are and what we are going to. When we ignore ourselves or show ourselves into a neatly painted cabinet, we can never truly be at peace with ourselves — and therefore any self-worth we claim to have, is a facade, for no worth is attributed to our true selves.

In conclusion, the experience of pain is not for learning lessons, it’s for knowing ourselves. We discover where we are weak and where we are strong, and it’s in the stripped bare, bottom of the darkest pit, that seeds are planted. These are seeds of hope, seeds of faith, or seeds of distrust — it is these moments that show us what defines us. Our core values and our very essence is revealed like the purifying of gold. However we are also vulnerable in this time, and often when we process in an unhealthy way, the product becomes deeply engrained blemishes and wounds that must be revisited to be healed adequately. The process of pain is a broken yet beautiful one, where we not only persevere and heal, but we get to take others on the journey with us, as the wounded healer.

We don’t learn through pain, but few can learn from it.

Bibliography: Dean A. Shepherd, Donald F. Kuratko (2009) The death of an innovative project: How grief recovery enhances learning, Business Horizons, 52:5, 451-458, ISSN 0007-6813, http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.bushor.2009.04.009. (http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0007681309000615)

James R. Calvin (2012) Crucibles of leadership (how to learn from experience to become a great leader), Community Development, 43:2, 279-281, DOI: 10.1080/15575330.2012.681504

Khalil Gibran, The Prophet.

[she-shall-conquer]

Leadership Blog: A Progression for the Ages

Daft, R. (2017). The Leadership Experience (7th ed.). Boston, MA: Cengage Learning

Sonata form in a piece of classical music has always been a vivid analogy to me. In the Exposition, a theme (a thematic melody) is introduced, a counter theme is then introduced, and then in the Development, the two themes are played off against each other and modulated, changing keys, changing rhythms, but all the while retaining something of the same concept. The Recapitulation is where the two themes are now introduced as a unified whole and all tensions are then resolved. In the same way, I feel that life, and my personal leadership development, is composed of many of these sonata forms.

The Exposition:

In my life, the past forms my Exposition, and it can be easy to get stuck here, but it shouldn't be the main focus. As I've grown up I've been faced with more and more challenges, struggles and temptation to give into the bitter disillusionment with all I've loved and held dear. When it comes to my expectations for University, for the church, and for other workplace relationships to be a certain way and they haven't been. Being an optimist and an idealist, disappointment has hit hard and has been crippling at times, and I've had to scramble for strategies to grow, to survive, and to more forward in my life. Also in this exposition is my understanding of my own ability to cause damage, my own ability for evil, and the hurt I have caused. This is the Me that looks back at me in the mirror, that has taken stock of competencies, dreams, ideas, abilities, flaws, and shortcomings and now stands on the brink of something new. Is there still the possibility for greatness?

The Development:

This is the growth and development phase I am currently in and will hopefully be in for the rest of my life. I want to embody the principles of the learning organisation that is constantly learning, growing, experimenting and is always open to new ideas. I am learning what it means to swallow my pride, as it rears its ugly head to tell me who I should be and what I deserve. I am learning to become an integrated and holistic leader that leads with heart, mind, and spirit. I am embracing and learning what "Flow" means and how to strive towards this glorious transcendence in doing what I know I was made to do. In taking steps towards becoming more self-aware, vulnerable, and honest, I realise my own selfishness and my ability to be cold or harsh and I am on a journey of learning to make my words kinder and my actions more gracious – this, in turn, helping me extend grace to others. In this Leadership Unit, I have been presented with theories and concepts that have in some ways completely revolutionised my way of thinking in a very uncomfortable way such as a relational approach in leadership, and in other circumstances shown me my own shortcomings in moral leadership and followership, and also encouraged me but substantiating and explaining frustrations I've had such as management versus leadership. In my reflections on the past eight weeks, I cannot help but be in awe of the incredible intricacy of the leadership process, but also of the wonderful simplicity that love does indeed underpin all of it.

The Recapitulation:

The kind of leader I become in the future depends on the habits I've put in place in the past – the values I have and decisions I choose. There is no pinnacle or point of "making it", it is always a learning process and a journey towards greater things. In the end, I trust I will hold fast to what I believe in, and so far I have not failed and have not deserted my faith or my sense of justice. I have these lofty ideas of being able to change the world through building communities and building everything on the universal need and craving for love, true Love. "For now these three remain, faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13:13)

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[she-shall-conquer]

Week 7: Everything I’ve been doing wrong my entire life

Daft, R. (2017). The Leadership Experience (7th ed., pp. Chapter 7). Boston, MA: Cengage Learning

Complacency is something that can affect anyone within an organisation. A growing hardness or bitterness on account of

The art of followership on account of disillusionment. It’s a horrible process to go through, when you’ve gone from loving your job to not really feeling like it’s worth your effort and that what ever work you do, no matter how good, will never be good enough and won’t make a difference. We all go through this at some point, and it’s hard to combat. Sometimes we try harder and other times we we blame the leader of the organisation for our lack of interest.

Whether we’ve been hurt, grown bored, or become disillusioned, it is helpful to look at the theories around followership. I know that there is a lot of organisational dissatisfaction that I could’ve spared myself if I had known these followership principles, and furthermore if I had been more selective about the leaders that I involve myself with.

Being in a space where there is not a relationship of mutual respect with your superiors might make following a followership model difficult, but it does’t mean that you as a follower cannot become more self aware and start to embody these principles in whatever measure you can. When we as followers don’t manage up, when we don’t contribute information, add value, take initiative, assist and support,w working towards this relationship of mutual respect and partnership, we end up hurting ourselves and the organisation as a whole. Let not fear rule, but embrace the greatness that comes with  the systems understanding that all employees, managers and subordinates alike are needed for the good and benefit of the company.

Managing Up: it takes a big leader to be able t take input from others, and so understanding a followership framework can empower you as employee and as a manager. Followers are at their best when they can give meaningful input, take initiative, and support leaders. The is a partnership understanding of work and management. Of course it’s easier to have relationship with subordinates because the power rests in your hands, but a successful and effective leader needs to understand that humility is paramount and only to the measure that you submit to authority, can you lead (of course submission in this case being a the evidence of a followership model)

As hard as it is to swallow your pride, growing up is all about learning to work hard and not continue being resentful, but to become more self aware. identify the source of your resentment and then working towards minimising that frustration. If you have boundaries that are being crossed, or unspoken expectations, there will form resentment, and the more self aware tat you can become as a follower, understanding that they dyadic relationship between you and your boss is just a small part in a big organisation to which you both add value (or should aim to add value).

Expectations is an all round problem and in every relationship, the needs of the other person should be stated and known by both parties for success and effectiveness of the relationship.

To make these expectations a little clearer, here is a summary of what leaders want from followers:

Leaders want follower to champion the task at hand, not to overthink or give a million reasons why not, but to engage with what is in front of them and give their best. this includes the initiative and taking ownership of the business.

Leaders value inclusive perspectives, where they understand what part they play in the organisation as a whole and when followers are willing to collaborate with other people and put ego aside.

Leaders value an understanding and integration within the organisation, where followers will apply themselves, take ownership, and be aware of the changes and developments in both internal and external environments of the business.

Leaders also value the self-respect of followers to be continually progressing in their own personal growth and development. This does not mean that the followers are striving to be acceptable to good enough, but rather that they acknowledge that they add value and have potential to add immeasurably more value should they apply themselves and improve their development.

There exists also a paradigm to understand followership, and I’ve found myself in most categories at some point in my life for some reason or another, and finding support for my own feeling in the theory was very reassuring. I have had no problem understanding that organisations require active participation from all members to function effectively. Any brush with university group projects will teach you the value and necessity of active participation. The one thing that t has been a struggle for me more and more is the concept of followers needing to employ critical thinking. I generally find that I think differently to most and that makes it hard in subordinate positions because my understanding of the world is different as well as how my brain works. This means that there will be a task and my understanding of it (as a result of careful deliberation and trying to understand what’s been asked) will and up being completely different from the leaders understanding – this is, of course, resolvable through opening communication channels and getting to know the leader better. However, when this becomes a legitimate problem is when I don’t agree with the actions the leader is taking. This draws into question, again morals and ethics and the courage need to follow them. Also in this predicament is when I think the leader is wrong. I feel like I’ve grown up with a view of authority, where the nature and definition of Authority means that it is always right, always respected and submitted to, and that your personal boundaries are not valid because the leader has control.

There is a lot of freedom and encouragement that I have found in this chapter, as it encourages creativity, innovation, constructive criticism and weighing the impact of decisions from the follower. I think it points out how bad of a follower I have been sometimes, and the unhealthy nature of some of the leaders I’ve interacted with. This is better. It is more inclusive. After being betrayed by previous leaders, it’s been very hard to learn to trust again and to not take on a survivalist mentality with new leaders. Reading through this chapter highlighted to me why I felt hurt, why I was frustrated, and why I’m struggling at the moment.

The solution is first and foremost closely related to humanity and love, where you develop a genuine and authentic concern for another human being, your leader or your subordinate. In this, you start to listen to what they’re saying and become present in the relationship so that it isn’t just a task but a genuine collegial friendship that adds value and meaning to your life. Again, it helps to view in the perspective of love, where you call out the best in leaders and followers and support them to be the best that they can be. You communicate about your feelings, your understanding, and your expectations and you stay open to what is needed and what is being said. Add value where you can, in whatever way you can, and work together for the good of each other and the organisation. You’re going to have this relationship whether you like your boss or not, but you can make it better for yourself by making an effort to understand and build a good healthy relationship of trust and dependability. This also means that sometimes when you’ve tried your best, you need to get up and leave and no longer be apart of something that you can no longer support, such as if your leader takes actions that are directly against your morals. If you stay you will become bitter and resentful and it will cause more damage in the long run.

Always, and in whatever position, seek to empower, to encourage, to upbuild, and to build a culture of love, respect and grace, where everyone feels heard and known, where expectations are spoken and solutions are found together. Stay loyal, and fight for what is right; stay gracious, and keep appealing to people’s better selves.

[she-shall-conquer]

Week 6: The Slippery Slope to the Depths of My Depravity

Scholtz, F. (2017). Leadership principles and practices lecture slides: Week 6. Monash South Africa.

The world doesn't come in black and white, and often our actions and the sum total of our measure is leaning towards one side of the scale, but it is never completely tipped. The unfortunate truth is that one you get hurt or get your finger burnt, you withdraw, like an anemone. When you don’t have social support, and when you don’t make relational engagement a priority, you will always end up compromising people – because you don’t view them as people, they become obstacles, liabilities, dangers, or slave drivers. As you dehumanise them, you become more and more okay with what you’re doing. Often the road to destruction is laced with both good intention and justified reasoning.

It is hard, but also vitally necessary to be able to look yourself in the mirror, to take stock of the destructive habits you have, decisions you’ve made and to first have hope for a better future, and secondly to acknowledge that it is who you are now.

Followership doesn’t work without ownership, and this can be very difficult because sometimes there isn’t space made for adequate ownership.

There exists what is referred to as the “Toxic Triangle”, and I know I must be wary in order to guard against all of these. I know that I have the capacity for great evil and great harm to other people. I know that I can make decisions that could tear people apart, and it is exactly because I am aware of this capacity that I can better combat it. Woe to those that do not acknowledge this, for often you will be most ignorant in the wake of the destruction you have caused. Often times in relationships, our greatest damages are caused when we STOP paying attention, for to love is to pay attention, and when we stop and start focusing on ourselves, we bulldoze over others without realising it. I have been the recipient and probably the perpetrator of this more times than is ever necessary!

1.  Destructive Leadership: being self-centred, using persuasion to manipulate people, embracing an ideology of hate (even self-hate), ignoring bad habits and not embracing constant change and growth. I need to remember that what I do is magnified in my followers (I’ve learnt this the hard way). I can’t make bad decisions, propagate good ones and expect people to make good decisions. I need to let my life be an open book where I can live well, driven by hope and hoy and faithfulness, and make that the culture, not distrust and shifty calculated chess games. I need to set my mind on things above, or else I will lose my mind. I need to speak life and not death

2. Susceptible Followers:

I must be careful to not fall into as affirmation seeking trap because I so badly want to be apart of the in crowd, I need to watch that I maintain boundaries and self-esteem, that I don’t let other’s opinions determine my worth or value, and that I don’t make my able to contribute be the decider of my worthiness. I need to not tear myself down to fit in but remain steadfast in who I am, what I have learnt as well as stick to my morals and maintain my maturity that I have fought for. I do no one favours by playing dumb.

I must be careful to not grow cynical, bitter, hard, or pessimistic, I need to constantly surround myself with people that are dreamers, visionaries, people that are kind and that love compassionately, people that I can learn from, and people that embrace change, challenge and justice for all. I need to constantly re-evaluate and keep my values in check, to make sure that I value that which is good, lovely, upbuilding, and worthy, and that I act in a way that places value on those things. I need to watch what I say and how I say it. I need to watch that I don’t let my worth be derived from what I achieve, or how much people like me. Rather, being valuable as a person comes from how you treat your self and others, and how you follow what you believe in. For at the essence and core of the entire universe lies three things, faith, hope, and love. of which the greatest is love. Love is all that counts at the end of the day.

3. Conducive Environments: I must be on my guard and watch for situations and to the best of my ability walk observantly to watch for how situations of fear, instability, insecurity, threats can devolve the most esteemed of persons into tyrants (including myself). When we become scared or hurt or we feel attacked, we often respond in the worst way. I need to remember to be respectful of culture, all the while not compromising. A life of no compromise in morality and ethics is the most difficult thing, but it's what truly matters at the end of the day. Accountability is also important, so as far as I can, I will ask trusted friends and authorities to proofread, for counsel, for perspective and for an opinion. I want to give people the benefit of the doubt without prompting injustice.  

How to deal with or best avoid Destructive Leadership?

As I’ve noted in posts of the previous weeks, there is often a very valid and understandable reason as to why people are the way they are and why they respond the way they do, but it never excuses wrongdoing. I read a story about 3 boiling pots – inside one was placed an egg, in another a potato, and in the third, coffee beans. Once the water had boiled for a while, a father examined the pots with his miserable daughter.  The egg became hard, the potatoes soft, and the coffee, something completely different. The tough situations in life are trying and difficult and can either make us weak, hard or transform us into something incredible, it’s all about our management of difficulties and how we let them shape us. Read the full story here. 

The best style of leadership is to not have one particular style. There are elements of charismatic leadership where you empower people, where you motivate people to the greater good and inspire people, but it has to also be supplemented with a servant leadership that puts others first, and a moral leadership that acts ethically, as well as authentic leadership, so that you inspire them using your head and your heart. When you compromise or become too stuck in one way and start losing sight of the bigger picture, you falter. When you believe too much in your own ability and forget that the measure of a leader is the legacy the leader leads behind, you don’t embrace good followership principles (and I know I am particularly guilty of becoming frustrated with incompetence) but the truth is, there is depth and value that everyone has to offer. As a leader it is your job to make recognise, acknowledge and make space for people (letting them fail and succeed and celebrating both), never forgetting that you never have all the answers and that as soon as you stop being able to learn from everyone and everything, you forfeit your ability to grow as a person. Live graciously, with an open hand and build community, but a community that can send people out and doesn’t cling or manipulate.

I have been guilty in the past of just keeping quiet when my leaders do and say things that I vehemently disagree with. And when I physically could not stand for what they were saying according to my morals and values, I was chastised for my insubordination and my questioning and contempt for their vile treatment of other people was downplayed and ignored. I was easy then and will no longer be. I am finding better ways to cope with injustice and knowing how and when to speak out.

[she-shall-conquer]

Week 5: Mammon

Daft, R. (2017). The Leadership Experience (7th ed., pp. Chapter 6). Boston, MA: Cengage Learning

When we are ruled, we are swayed, even when we don’t intend to be. That which you value most will consume you and will direct your desires, your actions and your entire life.

I’ve had the unfortunate opportunity of witnessing leaders that used to be incredible and genuine, become swayed by the worries of life and begin to make decisions based on financial profit, when their entire leadership role is devoted to people and finance should really not be anything worth thinking about. Unfortunately because of the failed or unrealised, or a badly thought out vision, and a strong charismatic leadership which had faltered after there had been inadequate foresight, fear took over and a survivalist mentality emerged. This compromised the leadership integrity and perhaps not realising it, an egoist morality was embraced (doing what’s best for me) rationalised in whichever way it had to be to justify decisions made and livelihoods compromised in the process.

There are a couple of Scriptures that come to mind to visually illustrate what I am talking about.

Matthew 6:24 

24 “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

(We can’t kid ourselves, which one of these will save us? Which one is important to us? Which one do we serve and work for, which one keeps us up at night or brings us joy?)

James 1:6-8 

6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

(Doubt and anxiety and fear are all related, and when we doubt, or do not trust God, we become self-seeking and self-preserving and we easily lose sight of love, because love casts out fear)

You see, ethics has to with accepted social norms and can be found on a continuum of sorts, whereas moral systems are more personal and comprehensive, having to do with the core of who you are and what you believe. The relationship between them could be understood as morals being your way of thinking regarding right or wrong and ethics being your actions based on morals and socially accepted norms.

The problem in this situation, I surmise, is that they were completely convinced that they are acting ethically and that their moral compass is still in line, but maybe they have overlooked their blind spots, of their style of leadership, has gotten in the way of them being able to handle any form of upwards management?

In Kantian ethics, we are presented with an outlook that determines that good ethics depends on the heart attitude and that if an action is not well-intended or genuine, it is not ethical. This I feel I would subscribe to – however, we do run the risk of making decisions that are terrible and cause pain, but because we think we are doing the right thing and we are not self-aware enough, or humble enough, we end up acting unethically. There has to be an absolute moral standard such as Utilitarianism suggests, otherwise, we would not be able to have a legal system or protocols, ethics guidelines like the King IV Report (Corporate Governance Guidelines) would be useless. There has to be a crossover and a balance.

Why is ethics desirable? What do we compromise when we embrace unethical means of business? And how on earth do we justify our horrible actions?

Servant leadership falls in the contemporary relational approach to leadership and is currently recognised as a superior style of leadership that often goes hand in hand with moral or ethical leadership. I guess the true definition of good morality has to include the soul-searching that must be done in identifying shortcomings of self and humanity and seeking the light, the good, that which is worthwhile. Ethical practices are desirable because in the long term they build and sustain important business and personal relationships, it builds an atmosphere of love and respect, instead of deceit and distrust. Time and time again, history has shown us the devastating effects of unethical leadership, families, companies, countries, stock markets and the whole financial system across the world is negatively impacted by unethical decisions for short term profit.

Because leaders set the example and the culture for the rest of the company, there truly is something of a Shakespearean justice when unethical leaders get ousted, unethically, by the followers they have modelled this unethical behaviour too.  Honesty, fairness and honouring agreements is important for long term success which is compromised by selfish short-term decisions that are made. A business cannot be run like a transactional machine if the company aims to have any achievements, momentum, or vitally imperative innovation for this current age – this is all compromised, as employees become resentful and distrusting, everyone begins to fend for themselves and lives get destroyed in the balance. In these kinds of situations, it often happens that there is a thinly veiled facade of ethical or moral leadership to those outside or on the good side of the unethical leader and only when conflict arises, when error is exposed, does the unethical leader’s true character become apparent, like a glistening glow only seen in the sunlight so it is with the snake like manipulation that might never confront you to your face but will have no problem whatsoever breaking apart everything that means anything to you to get you to acquiesce, to break, to adhere.

Unethical leaders compromise growth opportunities that come from open door policies and accepting the wonders of good followership. By creating environments of fear, control, and manipulation, they only ever force people to stay until people become strong enough or numb enough or disillusioned enough to leave. A big problem is that often those with no empathy or no ethical standards get into positions where it is expected or required, so that they never have to exhibit the behaviour, but it is assumed because of their title. A priest wouldn’t molest children, right? A mega-pastor would steal money from poor people in big crusades, right? A pastor wouldn’t lie, manipulate and by unethically destructive in response to followers raising concerns about ethical practices, right?

Well. History speaks for itself. It is the situation you never want to be the wiser for…

It starts when no one is looking, or when the person you are dealing with can’t contribute any value to you. As leaders, we need to be careful who we trust and how we trust them. You can trust someone in your unique relationship with them, but you have to understand what they’re saying and where they’re coming from and watch that they do not deceive you with emotional appeals and glistening lies. Good ethics means good business – the truth will defend itself and injustice cannot prevail, God-willing.

One way to side step this entire mess is to embrace the servant leadership approach. When you’re not focused on yourself, but rather on others and a greater good, you don’t have a problem of egoist decision making.

To be honest, I’ve studied psychology, been a part of counselling programs, studied management and even read through the flaws in moral judgements presented by this unit, and I still, for the life  of me, cannot (to the very depths of my being) understand how or why people can act so very terribly towards other people. The problem with that though is that I too cause other people pain, but its in the small things where I know that I have a deep sense of guilt and sorrow for the pain I’ve caused, where other people have justified it to such an extent that they see absolutely nothing wrong with their actions. Either I know a lot of psychopaths, or there must be something that I’m missing. I know it's a gentle winding road of deception. A small blind eye can in time lead to devastating results. Unfortunately trusting someone who is your leader over your own moral judgement will in time lead to your own demise. It’s a catch 22 where you get burnt either way. What do you do?

You have to act with courage, even when it’s tough, even when your reputation gets dragged through the mud again and again and again, even when your closest friends betray you, act with courage and follow the voice of justice and righteousness in your heart. Act in love and be gracious so far as you can. I know what it is to let fear take hold of me, to struggle to trust, to second guess every action because I’ve been hurt so badly. You owe it to yourself and others to heal and to be the leader you never had. Don’t settle. Don’t acquiesce. Don’t ignore your emotions. And in a very different kind of sense where good is light and darkness is wrongdoing, follow the words of Dylan Thomas:

“Do not go gentle into that good night, but rage, rage, against the dying of the light”

Do not fear your mortality, your fallibility, your loneliness, your pain, your abuse, your rejection. Fear does not become you and it is a poison that you drink to comfort you. It is a fair-weather friend that lives to betray you. In grace and humility, you are free to fall and get up again to run towards the glorious vision of community and love. Fear will tempt, but do not let it master you! Keep your boundaries, they will protect you and others! When you don’t act in the face of injustice, you contribute towards it.

[she-shall-conquer]

Week 4: My Head To My Heart

Daft, R. (2017). The Leadership Experience (7th ed., pp. Chapter 5). Boston, MA: Cengage Learning.

“Bring me back

Strong and sweet

Make the dream my reality

Lead me to my heart

Lead me to the beauty that will never fade

I will long to feel its true embrace

Why’s it seem so far

The road from my head to my heart”

– Head To My Heart Elenowen EP

On a day like today, this is what is playing over and over. For someone who is constantly caught up in idealism and beauty and a vision of something greater, it has become all the harder as I have moved through life. The world is unkind to optimists and so my mind has developed all these coping mechanisms and callousness that gets in the way of my freedom to be – my authenticity. The irony being that my head functions better (as do most employees apparently) when my heart is free to be, to export, to dream, and at peace.

From a psychological point of view, different parts of our brain respond to different situations. In order for us to logically think through things, to problem solve and to engage with creativity, we primarily use our prefrontal cortex – the higher order part of our brain. The problem with leading with fear instead love, on a intrapersonal level is that in the presence of fear or stress, the brain interprets it as danger (which is of course and wonderful and beautiful function that protects us against lions and other bad things), where really in a workplace, our lives shouldn’t feel like they’re in danger. In this situation, the brain activates the places that deal with the fear response: the hindbrain has very “primitive” responses and freezes like a deer in the headlights, at which point you no longer can add value to your situation because everything else shuts down; and the amygdala which is responsible for the fight or flight response which may show itself as avoidance or being defensive, in an effort to self-protect and then good ideas cannot arise. On a biological level, your body begins to shut down all process that aren’t deemed necessary for survival, your sympathetic nervous system takes over involuntarily and pumps adrenaline and you can’t think straight. You don’t choose it. It’s your body’s natural reaction to perceived threats when your environment is controlled by stress. This can lead to the cycles in the General Adaptation Syndrome where stress takes over, so you try to combat it by trying harder, and the greater expenditure of scarce resources causes burnout to occur at which point you are completely depleted of resources. This is a vitally important concept to grasp when leading oneself and others – the more grace, kindness and support you extend, the better the quality of the output will be, from a basic level of the brain's functionality.

A fully integrated person requires intrapersonal honesty, being able to sit with your flaws, mistakes and shortcomings, to give yourself space to experience the pain you carry, and know the effect of the pain you cause, and to work on who you are, what kind of person you want to be, and then how to get there. And that is the painful, wonderful, beautiful, fruitful road from your head to your heart.

A good leader needs to lead with the head and the heart. 

What does this mean? Well for the longest while (and my personal frustration with the praise of the Age of Enlightenment) there has been a separation between mind and emotions, where rational thinking and good decisions have been viewed as the product of logical thought and the abandon the emotions – emotions being viewed as terrible things that skew ability to be effective. Of course, the world has realised the error of its ways or has begun to. I have seen so often the damage that is caused from invalidating emotions and shoving them under the rug. Some of our biggest hurts come from situations where we feel that we had no logical reason to be upset and then we don’t deal with it because it’s not allowed to exist. Or we become so emotional that we forget to look at the situation for what it actually is. Neither is correct, an integrated approach uses emotions as the warning light.

I drive a car that is older than I am and technologically very uncomplicated, but for a couple of months, my hand break light was on, even when I was driving. I remember double checking to make sure that my hand break was down – which it was. Some months later I was browsing through my car manual and discovered that this was also the light for my oil – so for months, I had been driving with no oil in my car.

This is the same with our emotions. Too often we ignore them because they’re not supposed or not allowed to exist, or they’re not justified in out books, and really when we ignore them we expose ourselves to detrimental failure and damage. (My car was fine, thank goodness.) Emotions don’t power the car or make the decisions, hey just let us know what’s going on under the hood. If we start paying more attention and becoming more attuned to our emotions and better able to understand why they exist and how to deal with them (using our head and being kind), we grow in maturity and in our own emotional intelligence through understanding. In a leadership context, this is important when a follower makes a mistake or does something wrong. We need to be able to understand why they did what they did, and that requires empathy (which is a whole other debate because it has its own biological origins and individual differences, such as the number of mirror-neurons one possesses) so as to be able to empower them and help them grow into the best version of themselves, but also, we need to be able to acknowledge that what was done was wrong and cannot be excused. In the same way, we should be able to analyse a situation where we feel upset or wronged or mad at someone and ask ourselves if our offence is the product or our own issues, such as a perceived slight or rejection, or whether it was of malicious intent by the other person. In this kind of a situation, emotions might push us towards addressing this injustice, when really there might be no injustice, and so we are confronted with a personal weakness (such as fear of rejection) which we are then empowered to confront and deal with. It is important to be able to validate emotions without skewing the truth: i.e. when my friend made this joke, I felt hurt, but that was not the intention or the reality, my hurt is valid and something I need to deal with, but I do not necessarily need to address my friend about it, because I was the one that took it out of context or too personally. Being hurt by a friend doesn't make the friend bad or a hurtful person and this ties into mental models.

I’ve spoken to many people and picked up on situations where they felt very hurt, which I’ve then brought to their attention. They very quickly explain it away with a: “Ja, but they didn’t mean it.” The head to the heart connection is severed here. The better response is “This really hurt me,  and I know they didn’t mean it, and they are not hurtful people, but my emotion is valid and so is the fact.” We do ourselves no favours by shoving emotions under a rug. And really we begin to function more optimally when we can use all the parts of who we are, our intellect, our hearts, and our souls because all of them make up the core of our being.

When we can tap into all of this and completely throw ourselves into what we’re doing, there becomes this divine ecstasy we experience, where have a feeling of being beyond or outside of oneself, the brief moments of magic where we take complete joy in what we are doing. The feeling that we are doing exactly what we should be doing, that this is what we were meant to do. This is flow. And flow is what we crave in what we do.

St. Irenaeus said it this way “The glory of God is man fully alive.”

Flow is what it is to truly be alive, and for flow, we need to engage with the depths of our being.

We need to engage all our minds ability, to think bigger, to think better. We need to be able to think strategically and calculate, but not lose sight of the grandeur of the bigger picture, there are intricate systems of which we need to be aware and work into, we need to expand beyond what we can see into a global mindset, we need to pay attention to the small details, we need to think critically, functionally, logically, rationally, openly, abstractly, conceptually and not lose sight of the point. We need to be aware of our biases, and the flaws in our thinking, we need to be open to new ideas, new ways of thinking, but hold fast to the values and beliefs that ground us (all the while being open to the definition of what they look like to change) and we need to not be afraid of new ideas and imagination. To not be afraid of leaving the comfort zones for the growth zone, not afraid of failure or risk or the deep end. In an organisation this looks like a learning organisation that is constantly experimenting, learning and growing. All the while never losing the ability to see things for what they are, to stay curious, but to stay grounded – to call things out for what they are and to not be afraid of addressing bad judgements, and incorrect decisions – living sustainably with the future in mind. Responding to situations in the best way determinable, not in a formula. For this, good relationships are needed, which require emotional engagement by being ever-present and ever-ready for change, opportunity, growth individually and in the organisation. Developing a self-discipline that doesn’t waver in the face of the storm.

We need to not deprive ourselves of the gift we have been given in our hearts and minds, being able to call what is good, good, and what is not good, bad – and then to work towards the restoration of all things to that which is good. This is particularly true with emotions. As discussed, feeling bad emotions is not bad, it's the management of emotions (or emotional intelligence) that determines whether it is good or bad. Emotional Intelligence is correlated with better business performance and I don’t think enough organisations know that. Where fear rules, energy is taken up by emotional survival and work is strained and deprived of resources. We need to live with an open hand regarding ourselves and others, prorating relationships for genuine and authentic reasons where although it's hard, we build trusting relationships where we can all work together and depend on each other to contribute to co-motivate, co-empower, co-create, commit and to bring the best of our abilities for the good of the team. As the leaders, we must set the example and serve the team. making necessary sacrifices for the good of everyone, even when it hurts us. Let us never cease to acknowledge the greatness in others, or cease to call it out through encouraging them and loving them for who they truly are and not for who we think they should be.

Jobs are not just jobs, they are opportunities to connect, to build with others and to live out Community in the pursuit of something greater and the full expanse of expression, generously pouring out heart and soul, mutually, into the work being done. This is of course painfully difficult when you invest your entire self and come out short changed, or fail, and it takes courage and bravery to put yourself out there again. Give yourself time, heal, but never become cold or bitter – put yourself back out there, for the sake of your own wellbeing and for the greatness that lies within you. Be vulnerable, for your own sake. Act with integrity and honour, be kind and respectful, even when others are not. Be honest and open, let falsehood and lies stay far from you, and find a place of safety that remains constant been when life is not. Keep learning and keep growing, there is a higher call, a bigger mission, a transcendence which is yours and yours alone to find, where clarity of heart, spirits and mind exists and you are truly free to be all that you were made to be, where you are wholly loved and accepted for all that you are and all that you are not, and where grace and hope and peace are extended to you like shade on a sunny day.

In closing, I recall one story that has stuck with me for a long time. The story is of the sun and the wind that are arguing over who is more powerful. To settle this debate, they spot a man with a coat and make a bet as to who can get him to take it off first. The wind goes first and blows and blows, and as it gets colder and windier, the man clutches on to his jacket all the tighter. Eventually, the sun steps in for his turn. The sun shines, gently and radiantly, and within minutes, it is warm and the man takes off his jacket happily. The morale is this: leading with love instead of fear creates a safe place where people can truly engage with all that they are and the world is the better for it.

There are three quotes that when understood together, sum this up for me in my life:

“The future belongs to those that believe in the beauty of their dreams” – E. Roosevelt

“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” ee cummings

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” C. S. Lewis

So, as Elenowen sings  “One day I will get there.” and all I can do on days like this is make peace with the past, for the friend that it's been and the dreams it's given me, and take one step at a time towards the glorious future that is bursting with life and possibility.

[she-shall-conquer]

Week 3: The Crucibles

Daft, R. (2017). The Leadership Experience (7th ed., pp. Chapter 3-4). Boston, MA: Cengage Learning.

This week’s leadership development theory section included the “crucibles’ theory, a theory positing that there are the certain key or fundamental experiences that shape who you are as a person and what you become as a leader. We then proceeded to depict these experiences – mine, of course, were watercolour paintings. I’ve been thinking about it and while I do believe there are several key events that have shaped my life and define me, my values, my outlook, some of these events were unnecessary. As one of my really good friends once said: “Scars are like calluses, they build up a resistance to the thing that hurts you so that you don’t get cuts and bruises every time you play guitar or scuba dive, but you loose the ability to feel, and it’s uncomfortable to the rest of your skin.” (or something to that extent)

There are a few things I wish someone had taken the time to tell me, words and wisdom people could have spoken that would’ve spared me heartache and confusion, words that I could’ve carried close to my heart. So here’s a letter to my younger self:

Dear  Younger Jay

You’re right, about many things, the questions you’re asking, the things that don’t make sense, just give it 10 years or so, and then people will listen to what you have to say (even though it’s the same thing you’ve been saying for the past 10 years). While it’s wrong, people listen based on the social weight you carry – to be listened to you must be: older, educated, experienced, charismatic, likeable, sociable, married, different, or whatever is though to be socially valuable at that particular arbitrary point in time. You will have to learn a lot more about authority, and just how much of an abusive relationship that can be, maybe, it does depend I guess. It depends on how much you seek affirmation from others and how much you can be secure and healthy in and of yourself. You need to know that often when you start to change and take strides in becoming secure and independent, people often cannot stand it, especially if you’ve been particularly dependent on them – those people will fight tooth and nail to maintain the status quo.

Maybe if you learn to follow your gut and acknowledge your emotions, you can spare yourself the heartbreak of obligation, manipulation, and more. Maybe if you learn not only to have boundaries, but to know the value of what those boundaries are protecting, you will have better standards for yourself than to be the martyr. Maybe if someone had told you a few years earlier that you were an intense and sensitive person, and that those qualities were neither wrong nor overbearing, but rather, that they were beautiful and yours alone to learn and handle and grow into. When you’re constantly told to change who you are, you listen way too often, but really, what people are trying to say is that they don’t know how to respond to you, as often your very self is the elephant in the room. When you accept who you are, you can begin to learn the ins and outs of how you actually work – what your strengths are and what your weaknesses are, and fundamentally, how to relate to the world at large.

You need to protect and guard your heart, you don’t care like other people do, and most often people will not understand your love. Your love is complex and thought-through, and you owe it to yourself and your loved ones to spend it more generously on those that value it because relationships are transactional, and for those that do not value your love, your relationship will be a continual debt to make up for your love’s lack of value. You make your worst decisions when you play the martyr – when you feel that you’re worth nothing so you might as well be useful and expend yourself for someone else sake. Your job is not to be useful, much like you do not keep friends for their usefulness, or because you find that they work hard to add value, but rather for who they are. Be the kind of friend that believes in who they are as being a valuable thing, and be constantly working on that, not on supplementing the deficiencies and needs of others.

Never make big decisions out of obligation or social conformity, no one else sits with the burden of the decisions that you make, even those that try to male yours for you will leave when the road so turns and winds. Your love is a forever love, and you carry people in your heart and take them with you, like a continually extending chain of paper men that you hang up in the spaces where you sleep and think and grow. You’ve done well to learn not to be afraid of connection in a shorter relationship, you don’t shy away from friendship because you are only temporarily in a situation – your love is transcendent, and your heart is something now one can ever take away from you because it’s yours to give.

The road ahead will be tough and challenging and even though you might be mad at the though of this phrase: “embrace the pain”. Be gentle, be kind, be gracious, even with yourself – no, especially with yourself, for when you learn to walk in it, then can you truly extend that shady tree to others for them to find rest in. Embracing the pain mean taking each day as it comes, cry when you’re sad and laugh when you’re happy, but hold on, cling on for all the life left in you till the last bitter drop of the deepest darkest rock bottom of the pit to hope. It is your anchor, much like faith is your compass. Do not be afraid, for fear does not become you, it hides you! In time you will learn that pain is your friend and your teacher, and that a beating heart is a bleeding heart and a breaking heart and that in itself will teach you how to truly love. Respect the process, much as you would ask of anyone else with regards to your own art.

Also, you’re not going to believe me, but you are an adventurer, you love change, you love the unknown. You are a born pioneer and you love pushing the edges of your comfort zone. Take hold of the opportunities that present themselves to you and be brave and full of that wonderful idealistic, optimistic fantasy that truly has shaped who you are. The world is a hard place and will break you down and scar you, but you know the way of the wind and of the sea, you know how to dance over stones and storms. Peace and Abundant life are the trail you are following and you will lose your way, but as ee cummings said “trust you heart if the seas catch fire and live by love though the stars walk backwards. No matter what happens, what you do, what you don’t do – there’s a purpose in pain and a beauty in brokenness, and there will be a weight of glory as a mantle for your shoulders (and sometimes it will be too much to bear). Stay constant like the waves that flow in their own un-metronomed rhythm, but are consistent in their moving tides. Keep coming back to the shore of repentance, of forgiveness, of dreaming, of renewal. You have a song to sing, a poem to write, a story to tell, a song to dance – you have a voice. Don’t settle, stay humble, and if no one else agrees with you, stick to your faith, kid – it’s all you’ve got and only you will answer for it.

[she-shall-conquer]

Week 2: The 4 Eras of Leadership & the Church Tag-a-long

Daft, R. (2017). The Leadership Experience (7th ed., pp. Chapter 2). Boston, MA: Cengage Learning.

At some point in my life, the time might come to nail my “95 Thesis” to the proverbial door of the charismatic church, however, that day is not (I repeat, not) today. Also, it wouldn’t really count for anything because I’m a woman, right? Either way, in any form of organisation, there will always be strengths and flaws. There should also be a goal of maximising strengths and minimising weaknesses. With this understanding, as well as the fact that the church is a form of organisation, for the reasons that it is a collective of people with a common goal or objective – and just like any other company, not everyone completely understands or is working towards this goal or set of goals.

The four era’s of leadership are what was covered this week in the leadership lecture and follow the cultural and societal understanding of what relationships should be in a workplace, which is all very heavily influenced by research being done at the time. I aim to briefly summarise key factors of each era and point out how the church has followed the notion (though in some cases in a delayed fashion) and how the church could benefit from moving along into the current era of leadership as it fits more within the doctrine and values of the Christian faith. As far as organisational experience goes, the church is an organisation where I have been both extremely involved and barely there in all kinds and manner of churches and therefore my experience with it is a resource I can draw upon to reflect on these theories.

Era 1: Maybe He’s Born With It, Maybe It’s Lazy Thinking.

Era 1 is rife with the kind of leadership theories that now circulate amongst the common man, theories that leaders have particular traits (a set of personality characteristics that remain stable over time) that make them good leaders, be it the magnetic personalities, the inspiring orators, the confident or gregarious socialites, the social climbers, or the accolade trophy-hunters. In our own minds, we most likely have reflected on a particular authority in our lives and deemed them a good or bad leader (and perhaps have later on become disillusioned). In terms of singular leaders that have been able to mobilise large groups of people through charismatic tendencies and emotional or moral appeals, one would call to mind the preachers of the 17th through 19th century. Charismatic leaders would include Martin Luther who pioneered the Protestant Reformation, challenging the most powerful organisation of the time (the Roman Catholic Church);  John and Charles Wesley, who traveled around preaching to the masses in the Methodist Revival as well as George Whitfield who lead the Great Revival in America; 19th century had the Third Great Awakening with the likes of D. L. Moody, William Booth, and Charles Spurgeon, all of these men are revered, well-known, and frequently quoted to this day. They lead big movements, where people’s lives were impacted and forever changed.

However in the 20th century moving forward, the dangers of charismatic leadership was evidenced and shocked the masses in cases such as Hitler in Nazi Germany, Stalin in Communist Russia, and all the other tyranny of dictatorship. Mega-churches and celebrity pastors began to spring up, more and more emulating the celebrity lifestyle of Hollywood. More information was accessible which meant that big name preachers hosting evangelist crusades were caught out for scamming their congregants, money scandals were more public, as were moral failures. And while for the most part, there are many mega-churches that are decently run, the great man theory can be traced to the smallest of churches, where the leaders are not to be questioned, but rather their vision is to be championed and followed without question, unfortunately. Another problem is that one of the characteristics believed to be particular leaders was being male, as has been the case for centuries of the Western civilisation’s belief, however as Era 2’s contingency theories so aptly highlight, there may be certain cases in a church context where a woman is the best person to lead, On the surface level, this seems contrary to biblical teachings, but once cultural factors are taken into consideration, as well as context and understanding the heart and nature of decisions made and advice was given, it is not necessarily country to Scriptural Doctrine for women to be in positions of leadership (unless of course, they really aren’t allowed to be as near to God, or hear from Him, or something of that nature). Looking at the theories of good followership, it is easy to see how charismatic leadership without a good understanding of relational  necessity can be a poison of its own – the followers are not encouraged to think critically which already puts the organisation at a disadvantage, as well as that when the leader does make a significant mistake, which will most likely happen, followers, are forced to rationalise or justify the mistake or to come to the conclusion that this pastor is not a leader because he has acted contrary to the characteristics of a leader.

Era 2: Checkboxes and Metal Cages

Era 2 of leadership is comprised of far more precise procedures, where as much as there is talk of people oriented versus task oriented, people, in this era, are a task and must be measured in distance and handled theoretically. The two main themes to emerge from this era are the behaviour theories and the contingency theories. The behaviour theories  are evidenced in such as the Leader-Member Exchange theory (LMX)  where a unique relationship should be created with each follower, where an orientation must be selected between autocratic or democratic, boss-centric or subordinate-centric, as well as the dimensions of fit, where the contingency must be managed by the appropriate style of leadership. The aim of relational engagement is to direct, control and ultimately manage behaviour. What perhaps leaders still do not completely fully comprehend is that there needs to be room for one leader to respond in different styles to different people in different situations. I grew up in a church culture where there was a great deal of encouragement for leaders to form relationships with new members in an effort to reduce church turnover. This included the then innocent “coffee” which has now become a euphemism for rebuke, berating, voicing disapproval. I grew up in an era where welcome teams were sent out and instructed to speak to new people, and as a result, I have found a million and one ways to ask teenagers about school (what are you studying? what is your favourite subject? what is your favourite part about that subject? what do you want to do after school? where have you thought about studying? what extra-murals do you do? what subjects are you going to choose in grade 10?).

Nothing good happens over forced conversation, but the mission or task was relationships, and so structures and systems were established to force relationships, which as can be imagined never became real friendships, as can be imagined. Building relationships is a good thing, but building relationships out of duty or obligation often is more damaging than helpful because there is little to no authenticity or genuine interest in the relationship. In fact, both task-oriented leadership and people oriented leadership are necessary, they’re not opposites, they’re dimensions and each serves their own role in when they are useful. There needs to be a boss-centric approach towards God, and a subordinate-centric approach towards congregants, there needs to be trust built and treatment as equal, as well as a strong focus on the mission and vision of the Christian faith, there needs to be an intentional partnership and a spirit of inclusion. With the LMX theory, there can often become in-groups and out groups, and in church one of the biggest complaints I’ve ever heard in my life is that church is “cliquey”, which is exactly that. There forms a pattern where leaders form close relationships with people that they like and obligatory hierarchical relationships with those that need to be “check on” but aren’t favourable to the leader. Not only is this a terrible leadership practice for the good of the organisation, but it’s also very contrary to what Jesus modelled, where he had the capacity for close relationships with 3 disciples but did not alienate the other 9. His relationship with each was different, but there was no ingroup or outgroup, and all were treated with dignity, respect and value.

The contingency part of Era 2 requires attention to be paid to the situations that are arising and a commitment to addressing the problems and meeting needs in the best way possible, not in the most comfortable way or in the oldest way. Sometimes organisations and even churches need to be restructured or step out in a new area to meet a need or address a problem that is new and unknown territory, such as the Pokemon Go players that went to churches to find virtual Pokemon. Some churches responded to this and offered refreshments, as well as using it as an opportunity to engage with these people that would not normally be at a church. If the chain of the command is too complicated, the bureaucracy can get in the way of necessary decisions being made and contingencies cannot be adequately addressed. The best way to be a contingency adept church is to focus on empowering congregant sand building relationships of trust where anyone can take initiative and receive necessary support because they are a part of a community. The contingency theory places a big emphasis on the situation, and too often churches don’t. Church leaders can be so convinced that their way of running a church is right because it’s the only way they know, and they don’t think to look at possible systemic or structural improvements that can be made to adjust to the environment – this often leading to detrimental situations. It could also mean that in a situation where the pastor is beyond their depth, they can call on the help of another congregant that is better equipped to handle the situation because of personal insight into strengths and weaknesses. This also allows for engagement with congregants on whatever level they are ready to engage in and at whatever maturity they are at. This can become a problem as there are no recruitment procedures or handing in of CVs. There should be a conscious effort from the leadership to find out about new people, to know their life story, and where they’re at, otherwise, the relationship becomes a task and can often lead to acting in a condescending or inappropriate manner. At first, relationships might be more transactional, but a leader should always be willing to learn, even from the least of these.

Era 3: Entropy

Like a ship, the organisation has to sail, and in a time of rapid change and movement, of international crises and disruptions in long-term strategies and understanding of the world, the company can other be viewed as a ship on calm waters where storms occasionally arise at which point steps have to be taken to get back to status quo, or the ship could be on rough and stormy seas, where the organisation has to constantly grow, learn, evolve and re-evaluate. The era saw the emergence of the team leader, or the change leader and influence theory, where it was no longer the job of a leader to manage people within an existing system, but to recreate the system and the culture to best suit the people and achieved intended goals through greater empowerment, diversity, teamwork, and expertise. I remember the drastic culture shock I got when I moved from Cape Town and had to assimilate into the church music band. I had gone from a very autocratic leadership style, where when we arrived two hours before the meeting for practice, we would be handed a list of songs we had never heard before and we would be given specific direction on how to play it. However, the new team was more team-leadership oriented, which was new for me and took a lot of readjustment to get used to. The thing is, team leadership only works when you trust your team members. It is only profitable when you can acknowledge the strengths of your team members and follow them in certain sections. I remember one particular instance where I had to run with a song and I wanted to use a particular musical rhythmic style for it, which the drummer insisted did not exist. It was a very difficult conflict, as I was the most educated musician on the team, and I knew for a fact that it did exist, but the drummer who perhaps had more experience asserted that it did not. This is a small example, but it tends to happen a lot. With a rapidly changing environment, the only way to escape domineering and authoritarian leaders is to trust each other as a team and allow people space to exercise their strengths as it will be of great benefit to everyone in the long run.

Reminiscent of the great man theories is the charismatic leadership that emerged at this point in the influence theories. which as previously discussed is wonderful for mobilising people, but can be detrimental, such as when a pastor makes quick changes between visions and never sees the previous one to completion because it doesn’t work right away, which I have seen with church mission, vision, direction, affiliation, and it means that the church as a whole always comes up short changed because they never give the ideas time to develop into practice and momentum. Team leadership is important and too often in church goes under the guise of team leadership, but in fact becomes a manipulation. With the charismatic (it’s in the name) church’s complete rejection of any of the traditional churches, they believe they have rid themselves of the hypocrisy of religion, when really, as Jesus pointed out, it is a heart issue and not a case of behaviour, but intention. These, of course, are often interrelated, but too often, the self-righteousness, the empty actions, the living behind a facade and putting on a show is still present even in charismatic churches. And the problem when there is this kind of masquerade is that the truth can never be told for what it is, because critical thinking is viewed as insubordination, and pointing out a lack of foresight in the inspiring vision of the charismatic leader results in victimisation, alienation, and excommunication. The danger of influence theories in the same boat as team leadership is that sometimes this charade can occur and practically nothing can be done that will not cause more damage than good. Where there is a team, there must be humility, and those are some of the most beautiful characteristics to see in a church body. We are assured that there will be more and more rapid change, and the only way we as a church can survive that is if we start trusting each other's abilities to contribute and add value.

Era 4: Imagine...

The age of relational leadership theory, on the mutual benefit of both leader and follower based on their relationship and influence on one other, where leadership is a function, not a status. How I long for a church that fully embraces the tenets of this fourth era that really are so in line with their doctrine. I long to see humble leaders become caught up in something greater and beyond themselves and to take others to that river of refreshment and revelation. I long for an era of no mirrors! No place for leaders to catch their own reflection so as to become proud and let power corrupt them. I long for a time where there is the openness to constant experimentation, learning and change in the building process, where rules and control are far from any relationships that take place. Where expectations are those of love, respect, and kindness, where hearts and filled with grace more and more – far beyond rational management or even team leadership. I long for a time when the church will stop breeding emotionally immature people that don’t know how to have boundaries due to the constant rules and expectations that have been set for them and with which they have been threatened. When emotionally mature adults can function, make decisions without constant supervision and conspiracy, but rather that trust is built and fostered, where young people are empowered. I long for the emotional maturity of engaging with people genuinely, of actually supporting them and being there for them when they are going through a difficult time and not just rambling off the quickest google search results for appropriate bible verse, where leaders engage because they truly are interested in building a relationship with you, not because of a formula of people management. I long for a time where there is freedom to make mistakes, confess mistakes, and have a genuine community rally around to assist and support in overtones mutual growth and learning. For a religion that follows a characteristically relational God, that is so deeply and profoundly invested and so intimately connected to our lives, we treat each other so very badly in the church – and maybe that’s because leaders “are never wrong”, or that you have to be of a certain age or status or gender to submit any theory or revelation or question or criticism that is deemed “valid”. I long for the day where I can walk into a new church and find a brother and a sister, on a different road to the same destination as I am, with unity of heart and spirit, and not have to work my way up the church ladder for 5 years before people will take my faith seriously. We need to start viewing people as people, each with their own stories, own struggles and own journeys, all of which are good and beautiful and can be a good part of the community towards a glorious hope. When will be become more inclusive of the family? Imagine a church that places all the measure of its leadership effectiveness on a “relational process that meaningfully engages all participants and enables each person to contribute to achieving the vision”…

[she-shall-conquer]

Me in 30 seconds. Check it out.

[she-shall-conquer]

Week 1: Management vs Leadership: Why University Lecturers are Drastically Failing In the Only Thing They Should Really Be Doing

When I first ever thought of university, what it would be like, and what I would be like in university, I dreamt of it being similar to Mona Lisa Smile, where I would be so thirsty for knowledge that I would read the whole textbook before classes started and I would be able to answer every question the lecturer asked and the lecturer would, in turn, adjust and motivate the class by expounding on this knowledge and creating these deep and profound sessions of learning and growing into the leadership of tomorrow.

Well…

Needless to say, University fell hopelessly short of my grand expectations, and I realised that even the high school I went to had more passionate staff than University – staff that were dedicated to developing young minds and seeing kids excel. My first semester at varsity, I had two very inspiring lecturers, whose classes I cherished, and I had some organised, slightly less exciting lecturers which I felt I could endure. As the year drew on and the following one came around, I began to enjoy lectures less and less – always finding myself with a deep-seated frustration and dissatisfaction in the quality of the classes or rather expectation of the classes.

It was only in the first lecture of my Leadership class that this “clicked” for me and for the first time, I came to a sensible conclusion as to the reason for my severe disappointment. No doubt about it, Management is desperately necessary in order for any organisation to function. However, Management by itself is a dead end of status-quo maintenance; in order for any organisation to dream of any long-term growth and success, Leadership is paramount.

In class these concepts were operationalised through five dimensions, which I will be comparing with through the lens of university lecturing (MLec and an LLec):

Exhibit 1.3 Comparing Management and Leadership

Daft, R. (2017). The Leadership Experience (7th ed., pp. Chapter 1). Boston, MA: Cengage Learning.

Sources: Based on John P. Kotter, A Force for Change: How Leadership Differs from Management (New York: The Free Press, 1990) and ideas in Kevin Cashman, “Lead with Energy,” Leadership Excellence (December 2010), p. 7; Henry Mintzberg, Managing (San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler, 2009); and Mike Maddock, “The One Talent That Makes Good Leaders Great,” Forbes (September 26, 2012), www.forbes.com/sites/mikemaddock/2012/09/26/the-one-talent-that-makes-good-leaders-great/ (accessed March 7, 2013).

1. Direction - where are we going

An MLec will plan well, making sure that all the course material is covered and budgeting enough semester time to the various material to be covered and tasks to be done. Risk minimisation might be done through the quality or quantity of work expected from students so as to optimally test their ability, transfer information, and achieve sure results. This could include a schedule to inundate students with information to ensure the tasks are handed in on time and that the tasks are done correctly. Part of this would be to make sure that as many students as possible pass the course and will be able to continue in the future, the focus on the bottom line or the low hanging fruit might mean that when assignments are marked, the basic rubric and formatting requirements are of equal importance as the actual thinking process and content evident.

An LLec, on the other hand, won’t just plan and budget, but create vision and strategy, through not only meeting the requirements of the course, but as my sociology lecturer said in first year “My job as a lecturer will only be done if you all become better citizens of your society”, vision transcends quarters and requirements, vision has to do with purpose. Strategy takes into account the future of students, being a lecturer that seeks to impart not only for the exam but so that the student will have added tools to their arsenal that will carry them forward in all their future endeavours and thereby add value in whichever context they find themselves. This includes maximising opportunities presented, so that where the students could be introduced to new contexts, ideas, where they have the ability to interact and to engage, as well as applying what they have learnt. There are some lecturers that have made part of their teaching opportunities to engage practically in what is being taught and to sometimes even emulate the real life contexts for which the students are preparing. This means that sometimes risks must be taken and a trust needs to form – although there is potential for disaster, your best students might only rise to the occasion when the stakes are more real, or when you are asking for heart, soul, and deep thought into the research paper, as opposed to churning out a textbook template. The orientation is different, for the LLec keeps their eyes on the horizon using all the knowledge and resources they possess to empower and nurture the growth of the truly bright and insightful students they believe in. Eyes-on-the-horizon stops academics and lecturers from becoming slack or lazy in their jobs and lets them continually apply themselves and seek to better themselves.

2. Alignment – what is most valuable and how should the group of people be organised

Lecturers naturally have a degree of organisation of people as a part of their job descriptions, namely the students and the various tutors. An MLec organises and staffs the classes accordingly, and assigns various tutors to the different classes so as to meet the need. The MLec also directs and controls the students and tutors so as to ensure the various work is covered and learnt, as tested through quizzes, assignments, and the like. Thus structure and order are created in the communication channels (forums, email, cell phones, consultation) and the first point of contact (tutors or directly to lecturers). The course is also structured and ordered according to the academic requirements stipulated, with due dates and extensive learning outcomes which must be achieved. The unit guide and tutorial manuals go to great lengths to ensure that students know how they are to interact within the course, and to what degree they are expected to interact with other students (such as group projects or class discussions, as well as the respective graded weighting on the various activities).

An LLec desires more from students,  focusing on inspiring a culture of learning, of discovery and facilitating an interest through genuine passion. When the subject matter is made tangible, it begins to touch on key values of both the student and the LLec. Flexibility and understanding are the hallmarks of an excellent lecturer, where the priority is on the learning, and not the checkboxes. Learning has to occur beyond the lecture hall, and an LLec will provide opportunities for students to engage, an LLec is open to a degree and can build long lasting relationships with students and hopefully encourage students to build relationships with each other, possibly even bringing in other people so as to expand the network. Learning opportunities are provided at every opportunity possible, so that all the material is structured around the growth of the student, and not just covering the work. This, of course, ensures that long term, the information is hopefully retained and applied.

3. Relationships – the quality and utility of the relationships

Following on from alignment, if one is to view a unit as an organised collection of relationships, an MLec would look purely at the tasks and products, investing time and effort into the work and product of the class, how high the students score and the benefit and outcome for the MLec’s ratings. This may also mean that a quantity over quality approach might be taken, in which the MLec might feel as though they need to herd the students along and exercise the power of their position to ensure that deadlines are met and the content is adequate. The utility of relationships for the MLec is to meet the goals of deadlines and content produced that will satisfy the requirements, and this is done in a hierarchical fashion. (More likely to subscribe to Macgregor’s X)

While the work produced is important and the whole reason for this “organisation”, the LLec goes beyond this, investing in people in order that the quality of work produced is far superior because it contains authenticity. Investing in people over goods ensures that the people producing the goods are better satisfied – a happy and inspired student will produce far better work than a pressured student acting out of obligation. A difficult, but a key factor is using personal influence, this requires trust from both sides of the relationships but will inspire students and give them a line of sight to the eventual purpose of the work they are doing. Personal influence requires a greater level of engagement from the LLec and can be things such as: sharing personal experiences relating to the teaching; paying attention to where the students are at; being humble and down to earth but without trying too hard to be liked or to be a peer.

4. Personal Qualities – the magic formula for truly reaching people

All the qualities the MLec should have are necessary, regardless, but they are not complete or comprehensive enough. Along with the hierarchical approach to relationships comes an emotional distance, which leaves the student unable to ever truly engage with what is being taught. A clear knowledge of what is being taught is necessary, but this is often when MLec’s stop as they don’t go beyond reading academically complex paragraphs and therefore run the risk of alienating the class from the subject material. An expert mind is a wonderful thing to have, but if it is not translatable, it is useless. An MLec can often get caught up in their knowledge and therefore do a lot of talking, which is good in that talking is needed to give instructions and to relay subject material, but again, it runs the risk of assuming that students understand and if they do not, it is their own failure to apply themselves. Conformity is a personal value of the MLec, and while abiding by the rules is not inherently bad, conformity in a learning environment is detrimental to the very object of the experience. Being able to reach students in a way that they can truly understand requires more than just saying facts. In fact, one could go as far as to say that a conformist has no place in the scientific or academic sphere, as the very nature of it requires questioning, open-mindedness, and a desire to learn and grow. Insight into the systems and structures of the university as well as the field of studying is a very helpful quality to have and will be of immense value to the instruction of students, but it is surface level and not enough.

The LLec needs to communicate heart and soul in what they say; anything will be listened to more, understood better, remembered on a deeper level when taught through emotional connection. The LLec that understand this will help to foster an emotional connection between the subject matter and the student which will make their job all the more easier. While adequate knowledge is required, keeping an open mind, paying attention to detail, constantly learning and keeping up with current research as well as being open to the possibility that a student might have some insight and may be a source of learning is one of the most powerful qualities an LLec can ever have. The moment one loses one ability to learn from anything and everything, one ceases to grow. With the relational understanding that the LLec has, there should be open channels of communication created as a good reception and evaluation of (listening to) constant feedback will immensely increase effectiveness and efficiency within the learning process. An LLec has courage, courage to participate in discussion and courage to disagree with what is not right, even if it is the norm – times in history such as when bad leaders have been celebrated or when eugenics was a popular science might not have had as terrible effect if there were more LLecs that taught the theories and had the courage to speak out against them. Conforming hinders critical thinking which is paramount to effectively teaching in a university setting. And as much as the LLec should understand the context of the unit, they should strive to understand themselves and how they work. This insight will ensure that the course is set up so as to maximise strengths and minimise personal weaknesses, thereby enhancing the education experience of LLec and student.

5. Outcomes – what will come of these two approaches

The MLec will maintain stability, as there might be a very predictable trend of the course content produced as well as the marks of the students being similar or averaged over time. the culture of efficiency might mean that more students complete their work and mostly meet the required standards for the course and therefore get through without to much hassle.

The LLec will seek to make an impactful change in the university and in the student’s person. This, of course, requires a personal investment from both sides. The change will be for the good and thereby benefit society as a whole. A culture of agility and integrity will set students ford continue learning and application based on the course/unit, and this being done with a commitment to authenticity and ethical living as learning and academics are not viewed separately or distant from life and living and who they are as people. The LLec inspires the student to be more and to be better.

As a teacher, I know how difficult it is to keep to this all the time, and I do try and I do also need to try harder, but I’m convinced that it comes with practice, applying oneself and staying teachable. Of the lecturers I’ve had that have embodied the archetypal LLec, one quote stands out as profound:

“I have done my job as a lecturer if when you complete this unit, you have become better members of society” (Dr Alex Asakatikpi - Introduction to Sociology)

[she-shall-conquer]

Leadership Principles and Practices

To change the discourse for a while, I’ve decided to make use of this space to document thoughts and questions that are being raised during my taking of a Leadership course, part of which involves a blog (Lord knows why at 3rd year level, however, I am grateful). Over the next few months I will be attempting to document conclusions drawn and thereby document the summation of my learning. 

The learning outcomes are as follows, and if I’m feeling diligent, I will address these at some point to see if I feel I can address these points with depth of insight: 

Critically assess the strengths and weaknesses of major theories of organisational leadership: What has Academia contributed to our understanding of leadership? (leadership as most studied field in academia, because it links with every field)

Formulate a framework of leadership that would help students make sense of their current and future leadership experiences and discern critical lessons drawn: framework is the skeleton, experiences are the flesh (aware of weaknesses)

Develop a higher self awareness of students' own personality, values, attitudes, and styles as well as strengths and weaknesses pertinent to their leadership aspirations – SELF AWARENESS: where do I fit into this, culture, fit, personality, value, attitude, style

Construct a personal leadership philosophy outlining students' convictions on ethical and compassionate leadership and its impacts on in real-world organisational context

Analyse and synthesise crucial roles and positive impact that managers and leaders can make to organisations and their stakeholders.