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Enlightenment must come little by little - otherwise it would overwhelm. - Idries Shah

via KushandWizdom (via kushandwizdom)

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Officially freaking out

Imagining all that could possibly go wrong, hurting your own self, messing your own head. Crying the tears which literally fry your eyes all the while hurting those you love the most, resonating negativity all around. Knowing what you are thinking, what you are fearing probably on the correct lines, something to be concerned about but not worth going bonkers over! You do it any way. You freak out. You try being sane. You try to remain calm. Think. In your mind theres a on repeat loop: extrapolating every feasible scenario to go extremely wrong. Loop after loop, this incessant feeling of despair just clouds you into a deep deep depression. You probably need someone to help you pull out of your messy head, your deep dark thoughts. You need support, you need a hand, but this ever growing despair swallows you and turns you into a victim! Victim, who is not just crying for the choices they made, the repercussions they will have to face but also because no one understands them. And why should they understand?? Why should anyone hold a victim's hand when they are acting like a dragon throwing fire balls and showing off ugly fangs?? When you actually need someone to pull you close and hug you tight and no matter how cliche it sounds makes you feel everything will be all right, thats when you act up like a jerk busy being freaking out, being a drama king or a queen..shrugging off any help from any sort of well wisher!! If only the well wishers know better about the person who's officially freaking out.

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Of instigations and persuasions!

Problem with someone instigating you to follow a path is probably that even though you agree with it, see the logic behind their way of thinking, it boomerangs back to you hurting your head over and over again. Till the time you acknowledge the path is not what you wanted to do in the first place!

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As a small child, I felt in my heart two contradictory feelings, the horror of life and the ecstasy of life.

Charles Baudelaire (via quotemadness)

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Taking one for the team! Always!

When you are always taking one for the team, its high time to realize there is, in fact no team!!!

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Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

(via thegoodquoteco)

More Good Quotes here

(via kushandwizdom)

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Ah i wish..

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Unperturbed.

There’s a numbness surrounding the unusual happy feeling which should rather make me want to jump up high and touch the sky. Things are falling in to places. Are there any further hurdles? Yes. Unfathomable and uncountable as of now. But I simply don’t care. I am certainly not basking in the glory of my success. Its like my skin, the emotional skin in me has grown impermeable to any issue which should actually be very disconcerting!!  I wonder if this is some sort of happy coma: which is blocking away any/all bad thoughts or events being thrown at me. Not being perturbed. 

Everything will sort out on its own. For the first time in my life. I believe in that.

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More inspiring quotes here

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Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.

J.D. Salinger (via quotemadness)

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Pondering success stories: whats needed to be succesful?

We all have some we look up to: for guidance, support or simply inspiration. It has everything to do with how their achievements however small or big are advertised. The advertisements of them and their achievements make them what they are for us. Be it anyone: Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Kejriwal, Kiran Bedi. They don’t do things thinking what they do will make them outshine others. They didn’t usually take up a task simply because they were supposed to pick it up and be relegated for rest of their lives or even after. They did whatever it was they were doing and put in wholeheartedly all the hard work and perseverance that was required, without giving much thought of what the outcome would be.

What makes them different from the rest of us?

Picking up some issue close to their heart, something that the believed in: getting independent India, rehabilitation of harijans(shudras), helping humans(hunger,poverty, abuse, disease), fighting for women rights and powers independently(within and outside the system), changing the politics. Working selflessly in achieving towards these issues. Failing yet standing up again and working all over again.

These success stories, n in numbers, these people relegated as successful are simply one us with same hopes and dreams. As much as their hard work and perseverance to achieve something is to be believed, I feel luck should be accredited as well. After all sometimes, we do everything right and yet we fail while sometimes even after committing the worst of mistakes we pass with flying colors. And lets not forget passing every bank paper or scoring less than 2k rank in AIEEE( Indian engg. Common entrance test) is not a success story. Nor is getting into IIT or MIT or Harvard a big deal if you belong to a family with nobel laureates. Long story short, to be successful not just your vision, dogged efforts and resilience is needed. Luck as well as a place where your efforts are relegated as success is needed. We are no different than Gandhi or Kejriwal or Mother Tresa. We need a platform which desperately needs someone with our vision. Which needs our story to be a success story.

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You do. Even if people tell you otherwise.

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Is rapist the only perpetrator?

The so called *objectionable documentary* film on the rapist jailed in Tihar, seems so stupid. I mean hell, not just “Indian men” but “women” are raised with such mindsets. We ourselves feel it was our mistake somehow if we gave men an opportunity to abuse us. We are taught that way. We are groomed that way. Its better to be safe than sorry they teach us. Because in our nation, its better to side with the perpetrator than the victim. For God forbid, if some lady does report being sexually molested or harassed or raped, the first thing that comes to our dirty Indian minds is she might have provoked it, she asked for it. Be wary of this girl/lady: she could possible malign our names as well, she accused him(criminal), she could do it to us. She has a loose character. We want the victim to hide in shame, we want the perpetrators to go free and mock the sanctity of the court and the laws. Never do we shame the rapist. The idea around the documentary is so silly, why? Because come on, WE ALL THINK THE SAME. Some dumb jerks get the opportunity to do those things and hide them well, while others who don’t as such commit the crime become party to it by victimizing the victim and not punishing the perpetrator. We do what we can do best, we turn a blind eye to it, or slut-shame the victim.

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Solitary success or failure

Make it or break it. Lose it or win. Nobody gives a damn. Efforts, trials and tribulations are all for you. They are your gift. A reminder of having tried; success or failure don't matter much. Success will make you either want to strive for newer goals but might make you look back in reverence of the effort that you put it. No one, I repeat no one can know how much a win or loss mean to you. No one will no the tension, the anxiety. For we don't usually express as much as we feel in our head, the tumultuous tension, the trepedition of the result. No one can share with us. They can be with us, but not feel the pain of failure for us nor the joy of success as much as we do.

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When you are tired fighting. Fighting the pressure inside, the atmosphere outside. Surrendering to forget the pain, the questions, the what ifs and what nots, on whats going to happen next...surrendering to a book, going in a new world woven by the author's pen. Forgetting your own doubts and focussing on the author's story telling. Such a relief. A beautiful surrender. So what if its only temporary. Before you start thinking again!

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Start

Start of my blogging it is. Anonymous or not is something I am not sure of as of yet. But that’s something I will delve upon in some later post.

Coming straight to the point, hi guys, this is me. Well a friendly, not your neighbourhood blogger, unsure about declaring who she is (apparently ready to share that she’s a she and not an “it” or a “he”). And when I say friendly, think of me as this chirpy chubby tweety, who makes friends very easily (at least all my friends say so) and can make the most recluse talk to me if not like me. 

Honestly, being talkative and a extrovert doesn’t necessarily help you pour out everything. Sometimes the person you are talking to isn’t a great listener or doesn’t agree with you while some do listen and unfortunately fail to get you. And its painful. Excruciating at times, the feeling of not being able to express. Its where writing helps. Tongue can slip, mind can go numb while speaking, but the pen or the keyboard doesn’t falter often because you get to write and rewrite your thoughts till you get the final draft.

Being obnoxiously bothered by the demon of lethargy, it took me months to think of a name for the blog. So a fair warning, I do tend to overdo things and also tend to take abrupt sabbaticals. 

Well, now you know me, an extrovert and overenthusiastic blogger I will be. So, Happy Reading! :) :)