shiro-milo

[shiro-milo]

This is a post to keep track of my favorite jayvik fanficion since my ao3 bookmarks are a mess and hopefully get some quality recs as well!

Contingency Planning by @oodlyenough murdered me and i liked it so much its concerning.

Chrysalis and Window of Opportunity by @oodlyenough

A New Promise by @dis-embarks did the same, thank you 🥲

A lesson in rigor mortis by @orangechickenpillow still missing my heart after this one.

Here At The End Of All Things by queercatfan

I've Been Thinking of All the Little Things That You've Been Missing by @fouroddapples <3

Pygmalion by @twenty-qs 🩵

here is a map (with your name for a capital) by moonliving just 🥲

Run it back by spqr

be, be as you've always been by enbymegumi

Reflection and refraction series by @tryfero

Tastes like resurrection by @sulkybender 😭

disjunction by @nanashi-07

erosion by @nanashi-07

The Dead of Night by @bringthekaos

White lilies by whiskeyuncle ohmygod😭 destroyed in under 1k words

High Hawk Season by JeanLuciferGohard

Bitter practicality by Kaeviat

Cradle to grave by @weatheredlaw

Switchblade by MmPumpkins

[shiro-milo]

🍃 Good Evening Villagers! 🍃

We are very proud to announce a full bundle giveaway! This is completely free so anyone can enter!

If you have already purchased a bundle and win, we will upgrade you to the full bundle and refund you your purchase.

🌼 For Tumblr 🌼

Must be following our page

Reblog this post

Likes dont count towards entry

1 entry per person

Good Luck!

[shiro-milo]

[shiro-milo]

Heart of the young. (1)

I remember this boy in my head. The dark hair was so fluffy and starting to grow out, but he still looked so cute with it. A long time ago, he was my friend he was this clumsy still adorable one everyone knows. Being best friends forever we’ve said, and it felt so right at this point but now surely, he forgot my existence. When we were young he kept sleeping in my place a lot (of times) and whenever we had such a sleepover he told me these stories about how his brother flew to space and fought the aliens up there. It was his favorite thing to do, when he spoke the light in his eyes changed from a strange friendly purple to a very dark one that screamed sadness but pride at the same time. Never really knew his brother neither saw him once but from what he told me about him, this man was a hero, truly. Most of the times I kept clinging to my pillow while he sat comfortable on the blankets, which always turned into the things from his tales, starships and planets for example. Everything was so detailed that I still was amazed by his ability to choose the right words. That’s when I lost myself, I completely lost myself in his stories and his words and I began to fall, to fall for him. Even today nearly 10 years later, I sometimes can see him smiling when I close my eyes, but it always has a bitter taste. He had left me alone, moved away and got out of my reach. The worst, he knew it for months and did not dare to tell me. It was not until he was gone, I realized that I was alone. He was the best but only friend I had at that time. Now it was my turn to find friends, which wasn’t easy for me and still is. It broke my heart and hurt me so bad, but I got my life back together, I was 8 at that point. But yet I wish life had been easier on me.

My parents used to say that dreams can die but I never really wanted to accept that but had to admit he was gone forever. Life is such a beautiful and important gift, but what if I cannot enjoy this? Knowing I might have lost love and cannot get it back. Life isn’t easy I know but what if I lost the only thing that made it worth living? What am I going to do now? I cannot live in my memories but I don’t want to risk a look to the future because what is happening if I don’t like what I see? Without the glimpse of hope to ever find my love, I don’t know how to get through this battle called life. It’s hard enough to be in space now with people I barely know fighting a monster that tries to destroy the whole universe but added to my former problems it’s something I cannot take much longer. My whole life is shaking, and it is about to get worse, I can feel it. What if I die up here? What if I die without saying Goodbye? Because I fucking want to die. Because it’s my time to go. But what if this is the wrong decision I make just because I am lonely? But what if I wasn’t lonely?

When I was with him…

The days come and go by, but nothing is changing. People are still a mystery to me and will ever be even if I try. Hardest to cope with is that everyone and everything is better than me, even that goddamn cow we got at the space mall. It sounds childish I guess but I feel useless as hell and I don’t know what I should do to kill all that spare time I now have got. Cooking with Hunk ended in a big mess, I never really expected it to be different. Shiro doesn’t have the right type of spare time use I am searching for just like our emo guy Keith. Pidge isn’t even talking with me when I asked her to explain me what she was doing so I ended up cleaning cryopods with space uncle Coran. While I tried to bring my thoughts down, he was prating all the time about how he got some damn strips for polishing and his love for Altea and how he misses it now. After hours of endless stories, I gave up and backed up, so I got to my room. Well, I guess it’s save here but I already know it was a big mistake.

This langst story is inspired by the song “Heart of the young” by coldrain.

[shiro-milo]

Pic credit to litarnes on instagram!

End the pain, please.

Did you ever felt close to death? I mean like real close not just saying. Because I was, I really was close to lose my mind, my sanity, my life and all of me that was left at this point in my life. To be honest that was not much but so it didn't mean anything anymore to me. Friends who were never there for me, so I wouldn't call them friends, came to light trying to justify their lack of love towards me. Never believed a word, they came for my money and that's it. Even though me and my family owned a lot of money and stuff my life lacked of something, cause money doesn't come from nowhere, you know? Before I was even born my life was all planned out and when I mean before birth take my word, seriously. The problem to the time I came to this world was that my sex did not match the conception my parents made up. A girl was all they wanted, but I had this thing between my thighs and that ruined everything. Being a boy perhaps destroyed my whole life, literally. Being the first born made it even worse, I guess. My little brother by the way didn't had to suffer the way I had to, he is not like me. Well, we kinda look similar but that is just the brown hair and the blue eyes we have in common.

Welcome to my story, the name's Lance and I just survived my second suicide attempt.

Of course being rich has its perks but permanently moving is not one of them. I never liked being the new guy neither was I interested in getting to know others. The people I still called parents at this point were deeply disappointed in me because of my failure to interact and communicate with people. Life of a teenager is usually a great mess but mine was hell: No social life means no friends. No friends means a lot of alone time which resulted in spending time with the people I hate the most: my parents. Even though I was their son there was nothing I could do to satisfy them or make me noticeable as a human being.

I was a teenager who suffered from anxiety and depression for years now.

I was barely a teenager the first time I tried to kill myself.

[shiro-milo]

Pic credit to lightnvng on instagram

Did they even want me? (3)

It was normal that Lance arrived late at dinner, he sometimes skipped it just to avoid the possibility of having a panic attack in front of the others. When he didn't show up the others just waited a bit then totally forget about him.

Hunk cleaned the table after they have finished, Pidge sat on the couch typing something into her laptop and the other four just stood there discussing the next mission. After an hour maybe the all said goodnight except Pidge who didn't even look up from her computer.

While silence took over the castle the quiet noise of dripping water was still there.

Everything was the same over the night until the next morning when the voices of the paladins echoed through the endless corridors of the big castle. When Keith stepped into the kitchen something was missing.

It was so oddly... quiet? Every morning with no exception he was greeted by a bright smiling Lance. Although sometimes it was very annoying he missed it in a strange kind of way.

"Morning Shiro, Pidge." He waved at her but just got a sleepy grun. He greeted Hunk who made breakfast for all of them. Allura and Coran were talking about something in altean so he couldn't understand it. He sat next to Shiro who smiled at him but also looked concerned. "Hey Keith" he greeted the young paladin.

Noticing his questioning glaze he continue to speak. "I saw a puddle on my way through the castle this morning, I wonder where does the water comes from." "A puddle?" "Yes it was in the middle of the corridor. I thought maybe one of the others could tell me something about it but nobody could explain." "Me neither but I'm wondering where Lance is. I didn't even hear him after the last mission yesterday. You know something?"

The black paladin narrowed his eyes still looking at Keith. "No, but I'm pretty sure he's just exhausted and went straight to bed."

With that the conversation was over. When everybody sat down to start breakfast one seat was still empty. "Lance and his beauty routine, he's always late." Pidge sighed and started to eat the food goo Hunk put on their plates.

After a few minutes the door swang open and Lance stepped in. He looked like he hadn't slept a whole week. His hair still wet from sleeping in the shower. He was shaking badly. When he sat down he wrapped his jacket tighter around him. Skeptical Shiro raised an eyebrow as he noticed Lance's wet cloths.

“Hey Lance why are you so wet?" As he touched the blue paladin's hand he flinched. "Buddy, you're freezing, what did you do?"

Minutes of silence went by. Keith knew Lance wasn't going to answer. "Are you okay?" His tone was soft not harsh like usually. Lance looked up in surprise and before somebody could take a breath tears were streaming down his face. The red paladin stared at him and then at Shiro who was as confused as Keith was.

What should we do?, Keith formed with his lips. Shiro stood up and patted Lance on the back. He wondered as the blue paladin stood up and ran away. Nobody spoke a word. The silence was so thick you could cut it with a knife. "I'm going to check on him" Shiro left before somebody else could say something.

When he reached Lances room he knocked a few times but stopped as he heard some sobs. He continued walking down the corridor and found Lance curled up on the floor. "Lance! Come on buddy, you need to change your cloths." He kneeled down next to sobbing paladin.

"Shhh..." he began to rub the other paladin's back. "It's okay. Just let it out." After a few minutes Lance calmed down a bit so he could look up to his friend.

Suddenly Shiro felt arms around his torso. Lance hugged him.

The black paladin still rubbed his back but stopped to hug him tight. "What is it, Lance? You can tell me everything." The Cuban boy didn't answer but Shiro knew what he meant. They sat there silent for another few minutes until Shiro noticed how regular and steady the breathing of the Cuban boy was.

He felt asleep. Carefully he picked him up and took him in his room so he could get the rest he desperately needed.

[shiro-milo]

Did they even want me? (2)

He took a look at the clock and saw it was close to diner time. Not good, when he wouldn't show up at diner someone will come to see if he's alright.

He brought his knees to his chest to calm himself down and pretend someone was hugging him, but it didn't worked out the way he wanted it to do. His heart was beating hard inside his chest.

Getting faster with every breath he took.

It was so painful to breath.

Just sitting here hurts.

"I can't breath. I can't move. Help me... It's so hard...."

He was cut off by his sobs, but he put his pillow over his face to cover it up. Now it sounded dulled. But the pillow wasn't a good idea cause it just made worse. He couldn't breath regular anyways but now...

"Breath! Just fucking breath!" Lance cried out in pain.

He rolled over the floor groaning in pain. He laid there for another few minutes trying to catch his breath again. When he realized it didn't helped Lance forced himself in a sitting position. His breathing still irregular Lance moved in the direction of the bathroom. Every time he got a panic attack and nothing helped he went to shower and just waited till it got better.

He crawled into the shower and turned the water on. It felt down on his head making now all of his cloths wet but Lance didn't care anyways. Trying to calm himself down he sat there for over five minutes without any results. His heart still beaten painfully hard in his chest and his breathing didn't changed very much.

It was so much pain he couldn't take anymore.

Usually he would pretend to be okay but now his limit was reached. It was too much for him to take. Even though the pain was all over his body he closed his blue eyes and relaxed as much as he could. Now he was sitting on the ground leaning his back against the wall, the water still running down its way over his body. He didn't change the temperature so it was still cold.

Just to warm himself a little bit he wrapped his arms around his torso. It didn't help but at this point he didn't care either. Lance was so exhausted that he just drifted into the dreamland where happy memories were waiting for him.

Now that the stress overwhelmed him every muscle in his body relaxed and he felt to sleep in the shower. Forgetting about everything. Even if his dream wasn't as happy as he had hoped, it was so much better then reality. Lance actually enjoyed these dreams cause he could leave the real world and live in an imaginary world where so many things were different.

[shiro-milo]

Did they even want me? (1)

                 

Pic Credit to litarnes on instagram

It was a day like every other one.

Hunk was cooking in the kitchen, Keith was training since the morning. Pidge was as always on her laptop searching for hints for Matt and her father. Shiro and Allura were in the control room making some new plans for the mission. Coran was cleaning the cryo pods after they needed to be used after the last mission.

But Lance, oh Lance, he didn't know what to do with his life. He sat in his room staring at the wall. The last mission went down hill.

He fucked up everything. The others got out alive and almost uninjured, but Lance, he almost died. And it wasn't even a hard mission, just basic stuff. He fucked it up again. The longer he stared at the wall the harder it got to hold back the tears.

Slowly but sure his vision began to become blur. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve but then it didn't worked anymore, too many tears. They all run down his cheeks, wet his shirt. A sob escaped his throat but it wasn't that loud, so nobody heard him. As fast as he could he put his hands over his mouth to silence the new one's coming up his throat.

He sat there silent and sobbing, for him it felt like hours but it was just about ten minutes. Now all over his shirt were the wet points from his tears. He didn't noticed that he was shaking until he watched his hands. But that wasn't everything. He could feel it coming. His lungs started to tighten.

It was getting harder to breath.

His breathing began to speed up. Now he slipped down to the ground leaning his back against his bed. With shaking hands he grabbed his shirt tight. The tears were still streaming down his face, his breathing was fluttering that were the symptoms of a panic attack.

No, not now.

Not... now please that's everything he didn't need after what happened on the mission.

Because of him Keith and Pidge almost died. At the last moment he had realized and jumped to take the bullets. With a groan he fell to the ground nearly unnoticed by the others. They only heard the dull impact and when he cried out in pain.

Part 2: https://shiro-milo.tumblr.com/post/187235172137/did-they-even-want-me-2

[shiro-milo]

Yaoi/BL Master Lists

Remark: 

Master list of all current AVAILABLE recommendations 

Organized alphabetically for each section

Some recommendations are old and not updated (will update when I have the free time)

List will be frequently updated with new incoming asks/recs

Inform me if any of the links does not work

Other than that, Happy yaoi-ing! 

✩°｡･⋆ Favourites ⋆･｡°✩

FAVOURITE AUTHORS

FAVOURITE MANGAS (includes yaoi/BL mangas for beginners)

FAVOURITE MANHUAS/MANHWAS/WEBCOMICS

FAVOURITE OMEGAVERSE (denoted with a [***])

FAVOURITE ONE SHOTS

FAVOURITE SEQUELS WITH SIDE CHARACTER RELATIONSHIPS

FAVOURITE YAOI/BL ANIME

✩°｡･⋆ General ⋆･｡°✩

AFTERCARE/CUDDLING

AMNESIA (memory loss)

ANGST

ARABIAN NIGHTS

AVOIDANCE (runs away from responsibilities)

BDSM

BLACKMAIL

BROTHER COMPLEX (bro-con)

CHEATING/HAVING AN AFFAIR

CHRISTMAS

COMEDY

CROSS DRESSING (includes lingerie)

CRYBABY (emotional, sensitive, always crying etc.)

DEPRESSION/MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES

DISABILITY (deaf, blind, paralyzed etc.)

DOMESTIC & CHILDREN (family, married, kids, single parent etc.)

DRUGS USE & ALCOHOLS

FLORISTS (flower themed)

FUDANSHI

GOOD DRAWINGS/ART

HEARTBREAKING PLOTS

HOLDING BACK (sexual urges)

HUGE MISUNDERSTANDINGS (almost lead to break up)

LIGHT-HAIRED CHARACTERS (both MCs are light haired)

MANHUAS/MANHWAS

MURDER

OMEGAVERSE (mpreg)

OTAKU/GAMER

PORN ACTORS

RAPE/NON-CON

REJECTION (uke rejects seme)

REVERSE ROLE (seke)

ROYALTY/PRINCES

SAD ENDINGS 

SEXUAL ASSAULTS (seme saves uke from harassment)

SLOW BURNS 

STEP-BROTHERS

STORIES WITH WELL-WRITTEN FEMALE

SUICIDAL

TAN CHARACTERS

TATTOOS

TIME SKIPS (with physical growth spurt)

TOYS & BONDAGES

TRADITIONAL/HISTORICAL/PRIEST (theme, settings, occupation etc.)

UNREQUITED LOVE 

VIRGINS

WET DREAMS

YAKUZA

YANDERE

✩°｡･⋆ Fetishes/Kinks/Foreplays ⋆･｡°✩

69 POSITION 

BATH/SHOWER/ONSEN/OCEAN/WATER SEX

BITING

BLOWJOBS

CAUGHT HAVING SEX

DRUNK/SLEEP SEX (having sex when one or both partner is asleep/drunk)

DRY HUMPING

FETISHES/KINKS (general)

FORCED SEX (seme feels guilty, remorseful afterwards)

INVERTED NIPPLES

LINGERIE 

MASTURBATION

MULTIPLE SEX POSITIONS (seme makes uke do all sorts of positions)

NIPPLE PLAY

OMORAISHI (pee desperation/humiliation)

PHONE SEX

RIMMING (ass eating)

ROUGH SEX

SPANKING

TEASING

THREESOMES

WALL/PUBLIC SEX 

✩°｡･⋆ Hardcore/Smutty ⋆･｡°✩

HUGE DICKS

PORN WITH PLOT

PORN WITHOUT PLOT

PASSIONATE LOVE MAKING

UNCENSORED DICKS

✩°｡･⋆ Long Series ⋆･｡°✩

COMPLETED MANGAS (at least 12+ chapters)

FLUFFY SHOUNEN AI

GOOD GRAPHICS & PLOT (at least 10+ chapters)

MATURE & SMUTTY (at least 10+ chapters)

✩°｡･⋆ Relationships ⋆･｡°✩

ABUSIVE LOVERS

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS

DAMAGED SEME X COMFORTING UKE

EX-LOVERS/BOYFRIENDS (reunion)

FATHER FIGURE (foster father, adopted son, not blood related)

LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP

MANLY COUPLE 

MASTER X PET/SERVANT/SLAVE/DADDY KINK

MARRIED COUPLE

NO HOMO (straight X straight)

OLDER/GROWN UP COUPLE (age late 20s - 30s)

POLICE X YAKUZA

PUPPY LOVE (young love)

TEACHER X STUDENT

✩°｡･⋆ Height/Age/Size Difference ⋆･｡°✩

SHORTER UKE/TALLER SEME

SHORTER SEME/TALLER UKE

OLDER SEME/YOUNGER UKE

YOUNGER SEME/OLDER UKE

✩°｡･⋆ Seme 【Specified】⋆･｡°✩

BADASS SEME

BEARDED SEME

BIG & SCARY BUT ACTUALLY CUTE & GENTLE SEME

BULLY SEME (seme likes to tease uke a lot)

DOMINANT & COMFORTING SEME

DUMB & BIG SEME

FOREIGN SEME

HANDSOME SEME (good looking)

HIGH SEX DRIVE SEME (seme keeps going even when uke exhausted)

HOT & DANGEROUS SEME

INDIFFERENT SEME (cute ‘shiny’ uke) 

LONG HAIRED SEME

LOVING/CARING SEME

OBSESSIVE SEME (attention-seeking)

POSSESSIVE SEME

PRETTY SEME (effeminate, uke-like, androgynous etc.)

QUIET/SERIOUS/PRIM/PROPER/INDIFFERENT SEME

SEME GETS FORCED 

STRAIGHT SEME

✩°｡･⋆ Uke 【Specified】⋆･｡°✩

BADASS UKE

BEARDED UKE

‘BEING BULLIED FOR BEING GAY’ UKE

BLACK HAIRED ASSHOLE UKE

CHUBBY UKE

CONFIDENT UKE

DRUNK UKE (gets sexier/forgets memory when drunk) 

FEMININE UKE

IN-DENIAL UKE (uke constantly in denial but end up falling in love with seme)

INSECURE UKE

LONG HAIRED UKE

NEKO UKE (anything related to cat)

MEGANE UKE (glasses-wearing uke)

POKER FACE UKE (mistaken identity)

RECKLESS UKE (always in danger and worries seme)

TSUNDERE UKE

SEDUCTIVE UKE (uke seduces reluctant seme)

SHY & QUIET UKE

SLUTTY UKE

STRAIGHT HOMOPHOBIC UKE

SWEET, INNOCENT & CHEERFUL UKE

✩°｡･⋆ Fantasy ⋆･｡°✩

DEMON & ANGELS

DRAGONS

ELVES

GHOSTS

INCUBUS

MERMAN

SUPERNATURAL MIXTURES ( vampires, werewolves, ghost, demons, dragons, wizards etc.)

VAMPIRES

✩°｡･⋆ Fluff ⋆･｡°✩

CUTE ART/GRAPHICS

LOVEY DOVEY (early confession)

LOVEY DOVEY PART 2 (possessive seme)

SHOUNEN AI (less intense sex etc.)

SOFTCORE

✩°｡･⋆ Doujinshi ⋆･｡°✩ 

HAIKYUU!! (HQ)

KUROKO NO BASUKE (KNB)

[shiro-milo]

Photography Tricks Anyone Can Do.

[shiro-milo]

oh my gdO CAN YOU DRAW GODZILLA MOMMA CARRYING LIKE A HUNDRED LIZARD BABIES ON HER BACK FOR TAKE YOUR CHILD (lizard) TO WORK DAY

oh SHOOT well i cant swing 100 but how bout

[shiro-milo]

Can you please reblog if your blog is a safe place for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, asexual, aromantic, pansexual, non binary, demisexual or any other kind of queer or questioning people? Because mine is.