shisnhou

[shisnhou]

unholy matrimony

pairing: nanami kento x f! reader

genre: angst

wc: 1.8k

marriage.

many people fantasize about being married.

to many, the idea of marriage is pure bliss. the thought of being together amidst the misunderstandings, pain, and marriage blues. the happiness, the shared home, the matching rings, the memories, creating a family, and the promises of forever regardless every arrow that shoots the heart of the relationship.

and as many wedding vows go, 'to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death. this is my solemn vow.' they entail one of many things, but mainly, to be together and cherish one another regardless of what happens.

but to some, that wasn't the case, and you wish you had found that out sooner. you wish you found out that you were part of the some, and not that many.

marriage is the biggest scam that you fell for in your whole life. the vows, the wedding, the rings, every single bit and piece of it is a horrid scam that you find yourself to be the victim of.

the marriage that lays upon your shoulders isn't bliss and happiness, it is not only a waste of money, yet a waste of life as well.

the marriage that many gush of, the marriage that you once gushed about, has failed you. you aspired to be one of those people who walked down the aisle whilst their partner was crying as they stood by the altar, watching the love of their life walking down the carpeted floor. you once imagined yourself as one of those people who would feel delighted once the ring engulfed your ring finger, you once wished of kissing the one person you love before the eyes of many who bear witness to your love story tying the knot.

but now, the marriage you gushed about is the same marriage you are itching to end.

it no longer makes you happy— being tied down to this 'sacred' bond. the wedding ring hugging your ring finger barely even glimmers, unlike the one that your husband has abandoned on his dresser. rather, it feels heavy.

you thought you'd be all smiles after marrying the love of your life, but you've been crying more than you have been laughing, the tears you spared and still are sparing are not of happiness, rather, of pain and agony. the kisses that you two share send you not butterflies in your stomach, instead pins and needles.

there's no love in your marriage, no love in this 'sacred' bond. it's all pain, sadness, and hurt. you feel mocked every time you see a happy couple holding hands in the street, much like the way the wedding ring that has been collecting dust since your husband has left it on his dresser; he's left it there since your wedding day.

and the mockery becomes even worse when you're around family. the family that were there to witness your 'loving marriage'. the same family you keep lying to about your marriage.

"i can't you believe it. god, no one thought you'd be the first to marry amongst us!" kiki, older cousin screeches. she talks your ear off about your marriage and all that, and you wish you were able to slip away and lay in bed all day.

you hate gatherings like this with a burning passion. to you, it was all bullshit, because half of the time, they were just giving each other backhanded compliments, and now it's become your personal hell because all they do is ask you about your relationship.

"hm, surprise i guess." you mumble, taking a huge sip out of your wine, thinking of an excuse to get out of her as soon as possible.

"not to mention, to a rich and handsome man!" well, you assume that's one of the good things about your husband; that he was rich, tall, and handsome. "how'd you do that?"

"it's a long story." you lie, rolling your eyes to cover the hard glare that's threatening to lay itself upon your cousin just so that she'd shut her running mouth.

"well, you better hold him close. you'll never know what could be goin' on when you aren't home." you hate her, you truly do. it's unbelievable to you, how one could look so nice yet spout the worse kinds of things to someone who didn't even do anything.

"why would she need to hold him down when she's got him at the palm of her hand?" shima, another cousin of yours butts before kiki could say anything more.

"well, y'know how men are, 'ma.." kiki trails, causing you to role your eyes once again.

not that you care. you quit caring not so long ago. caring is a hard job, a job that was fruitless. so, you just quit. not that it matters to anyone anyway, not even to your husband.

it doesn't matter. you barely matter. all that matters it that you keep your husband's perfect image of husband above sea.

"believe me, i know everything that goes down." trying to hold up your facade, you smile, turning your head to the other side, hoping that they wouldn't notice that look on your face. the look that no one else sees. the look that you hide from the world, even from yourself. "everything is all and well."

lie after lie, excuse after excuse.

your mouth runs words. empty words that you wish the people will believe, praying that they don't see through the hollow letters, the broken vows inside the house of lies.

yet as you smile, hoping that they'd stop interrogating you, you come to the realization that there's only so much you can do when he doesn't even try to uphold your marriage's reputation.

"but where is he, though?" kiki's boyfriend— hirugami— asks, wide eyes staring at you. "you said he'd be here. i'd love to talk to him! ask more about the stock market n' all that,"

his words are genuine and you know that he means no harm, however the urge to slap your hand above his mouth is making you itch.

you made nanami promise to make an appearance, and he said he'd try his best to show some face. but hours have passed since the appointed time and all you can do is curse him in your head and wish that his expensive polished shoes hit a brick wall and break.

"busy." is your curt answer, running out of excuses to make. "being a business man really works you up, you know? having to stay in the office—"

before you finish your words, the devil himself appears by the door. your eyes go wide, and unbeknownst to you, a spark of hope glints in your eyes.

"kento," you whisper to yourself, rising quickly to make your way to him. but before you're able to, your aunt is rushing to greet him.

"kento! we're glad you're here." she smiles widely, wrapping her hand around his arm, leading him into the house.

his eyes meet yours. your heart skips a beat. despite convincing yourself that you and him no longer have any kind of ties, your heart never fails to recognize the man you fell in love with, the man who still holds your heart in his hands.

"(y/n)," your name falls from his lips, and without even realizing it, your feet walks to him, right where he is.

your aunt looks up at him, one brow raised at the sound of your name, as if you were  a stranger and he just called your name out of no where.

"i need to go to my wife first. i need to greet her first." he says, retracting his arm and eyeing your aunt.

your aunt's eyes widen, sheepishly she smiles and lets go while nodding. you smile at her as nanami takes a step closer. for the second time, your eyes meet his. you swallow, looking deeply into his grey eyes and landing on your arms on his broad shoulders.

naturally, his hands move to your waist, causing a shiver to run up your spine.

"kento," you inhale his scent, recognizing the masculine scent of his perfume that you bought him last christmas. "hey."

"hello, wife." his words are sweet, but his face isn't. his lips remain thin and flat, even when his lips come closer, even when they press against yours.

"how was—"

"kento!" hirugami, screams his name walking up to him and slapping his hand on his back causing nanami to jolt and turn his head. hirugami is oblivious to the one sweet moment that he disrupted. but you can't blame him, not when he has not a single clue as to what happens behind closed doors.

"hirugami." nanami sends you one last look before he turns around to meet the man and greet him properly.

internally you sigh, already missing and yearing the feeling of his huge hands around your waist.

"you really have go him wrapped around your finger, huh?" shima teases. "i've never seen a man as tall as him calm down when he sees his wife."

you laugh softly at her words, wishing that what he said was true, despite knowing for a fact that it's the farthest thing from the truth. "well, it's a newly weds thing."

he hands you your glass of wine and you take it from her, but not without clinking it with hers first.

"you're right, you newly weds are truly sweeter than candy." obliviously, he agrees.

as his words leave his lips, you wish that she would never see through your lies. hoping that your lies manifest. that one day, your wishes and prayers will come true.

— — —

"you didn't have to come."

your pointed tone catches nanami's attention.

the night sky is dark and filled with stars. softly, the wind whispers, causing your hair to sway gently to its tune. nanami, despite not being the best at expressing himself, softens his gaze at your beauty, distracting him from the tone of your voice that once caught his attention.

"i promised that i would come." dryly he responds, looking you up and down, studying your being. "so i did. is that wrong?"

"i'm not saying that it was, i was just surprised that you even did." you mutter underneath your breath, masking the underlying pain beneath your stoic answer.

"what did you say?" although he catches your voice, the same does not go for you words. turning his head with the neck of his wine glass between your fingers, his eyes try to catch yours. yet to his dismay, yours focus on the moonlit sky.

"nothing." an exasperated sigh exits your lips. "i said nothing."

a tight lipped smile on your face show up. nanami looks, but solely for mere seconds before a sigh leaves his own lips, albeit not as exasperated as yours. "if you say so." he utters, hands slowly slipping into the pockets of his black slacks.

and just like that silence falls upon you both once again, like it always does after the 300 word counter runs out.

[shisnhou]

yayyyyy welcome back! you’ve been missed. i reread ur angsty kiyoomi and rintaro fic every week for the past two years

yes yes i've found my spark for writing again and it feels good :)

[shisnhou]

unholy matrimony

so.. hi.. after two years of not posting anything, i thought i might as well just post my wips to see if they're worth enough to be let out. this one has been in the works for quite sometime, but i didn't really have the courage to post it until now. hope y'all enjoy!

pairing: nanami kento x f! reader

genre: angst

wc: 1.6k

wedding bells ring, the people sing, and you're sweating.

before you stands the white doors that separates you and your final destiny. the colour white, which is said to represent calmness and pleasure, brings you none of either. the longer your eyes share it's one sided stare down with the colour the more your anxiety seems to grow.

beyond the doors on a raised podium stands your husband to be. the man, who you have sharing the last few years of your life with. the man whose smile seems to brighten up your day. the man who your heart bleeds and yearns for.

the one and only, nanami kento.

your nanami kento stands behind that door. your nanami kento awaits you by the altar. your nanami kento awaits your "yes, i do." to the question that has been begging to be answered.

this is what that you have been dreaming of. this is what your heart has been desiring for for years, yet somehow it is hard to feel the joy it's supposed to be packaged with.

this day should bring you happiness, smiles, and happy tears, yet you cannot be anymore indifferent. the lines on your face represent not joy yet worry. instead of basking in your happiness and being in the wedding-mood, you bask in the dread that seems to slowly take over your body.

in your heart, you laugh, squeal like a child, and gloat like a king who holds the head of his archenemy. but in your mind, the vast plague called 'am i good enough?' spreads, it runs like a rat on steroids, escaping the terrors of a cat.

it dawns upon you, for what seems to be the sixth time since this morning, that whilst you stand in the white gown that you have chosen and wait to wed, that you have never felt more alone in your lifetime than you have right at this very moment.

the thoughts of turning your back and simply running away tries to snag you once again, but the doors begin to open and the blinding lights begins to work.

you realize that the last nails of your coffin are being drilled right before your very eyes.

your eyes look directly at the red carpet that covers the floor— the same colour of the blood that's streaming from your heart. slowly, you raise your eyes. instantly, your eyes search for him. for your husband to be. for your nanami kento.

there he is, standing in all his six foot glory. his hair is parted to the right as it always is. he is as handsome as you remember, even more with his stubble not in sight. his eyes as dark and as tired as ever, his nose just as perfect as you remember, and his lips just as kissable as ever.

all his features, you know all of them, memorized them by heart, but even after memorizing and recognizing them after all these years, you don't recognize that person that stands merely a few feet away from you.

you cannot recognize him.

neither does he recognize you.

his beautiful dark eyes stare at you. he stares as though he does not recognize you, despite sharing a bed with him after all these nights.

that's when you're able to tell that he is not the same man as he was years ago. not the same man who you fell in love with. not the kento you've shared all these beautiful memories with.

a single heartbeat echoes from your heart to your ears. you swallow the lump that resides in your throat before carefully, you take a step forward. a step closer to the altar, a step closer to sealing your fate.

with every step you take, you wonder. once again, if it would be too late to grab the train of your dress and run away in your heels. you wonder how they would react, how the tabloids would word your sudden actions, how the people would whisper amongst themselves. but most of all, you wonder how he would react, if he would care, if he would run after you, or if he would simply sigh in relief, go home, and thank his lucky stars that you finally left him alone.

if you could, you would test out which amongst your thought out comes would come true. but it's too late for that, too late to test your luck, for you know that luck has been notoriously known for never being on your side.

thought after thought comes to your mind it distracts your mind, that without even realizing it, you're already there, right before him.

you're right where you once wanted to be, where you've once dreamed to be. you wish you had felt the happiness that the former you would have felt at this very moment. you wish you had felt that triumph instead of the misery that spreads through your veins. the feeling of having done yourself dirty instead of a pleasure courses in you like a bad cold.

your eyes look up, search his for any kind of emotions that he might hold, emotions that you wish you could know so that you'd know where to stand during this event.

yet as nanami nanami holds hands out for you to take it, the feeling his rough skin is the same feeling that his eyes cast.

"hi, kento." you mutter, smiling at him despite your mind's protest.

for a fleeting moment you believe his eyes lit up, but as he merely turns his lips upwards, you firmly tell yourself to snap out of it.

your heart sinks further. the least he could is send you a smile, like he appreciates you marrying him despite the odds that are being stacked before you both like a brick wall. but it must be too much for him, for why would he when this marriage is something he does not want.

the officiant starts his words but you can't concentrate, not when nanami doesn't even look you in the eye, not when he can't even hold you properly, not when he doesn't say anything to assure you.

without even realizing it, the vows come faster than you hoped. finally, it's time to seal your fate– for real.

you wish you had run away when you had the chance.

"do you nanami kento, take Kamo (Y/N), to be your loving wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health—"

"i do." nanami cuts off the officiant before he could finish his words and your heart sinks. you know what comes after those words, it's 'do you promise to love and cherish her until your last days'.

the officiant raises his brows, but proceeds, probably wondering why nanami answered before he finished talking. but he doesn't question it, simply turning to you and repeating what he had said.

"do you Kamo (Y/N), take nanami kento, to be your loving husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health? do promise to love and cherish him, until your last days?"

you chew your lip, looking at nanami with liquid slowly burning your eyes. you hope that he would look at you, that he would smile and tell you that you're making the right thing by marrying him, that you're not making a big mistake.

but he doesn't. he says nothing, simply keeping his eyes at the hands that he is forced to hold in front of a crowd he could care less about.

i don't.

is what you should say. you should confront him right before this very crowd.

but you can't. not when you love him like he's the only thing you've ever known. not when it's him you think about when you feel like drowning. not when it's him you wish to spend the rest of your days with. not when even in your sleep, your hands reach out to hold him.

"i do."

the rings come out as soon as your words leave past your lips. the beautiful matching diamonds make your heart swell. it's the rings you custom designed way before you planned the wedding. you're glad that he agreed to use these, rather than the ones cartier offered him.

"wear these rings as a reminder of the vows you have just taken."

he takes your ring and slides it on your left ring finger and you do the same. the band glistens under the lights and despite all your heavy thoughts, you can't help but smile. they're truly a beauty.

"by the authority vested in me, i now pronounce you as mister and missus nanami." the officiant says, closing his book and taking a step back, smiling at both of you. "you may now kiss the bride!"

the people stand and the applauses make your ears ring. the flashes of the cameras cause your eyes to shut due to its brightness.

"(Y/N)," his honey like voice captures your attention. it's the first thing that he has said to you today.

your open your eyes and see how close he has become. warm hands make their way around your waist, pulling you towards him. your hands wrap around his neck, and it feels like how it was a year ago, when he used to care.

you look deep into his dark eyes, searching for any kind of emotion. but you can't find one, not even disappointment that you were sure you would find. his nose touches yours and your eyes fall close. you feel his breath against your lips. you're tempted to open your eyes, but decide against it.

his lips press against yours, feeling as a warm as they always have been.

you've sealed the deal. finally married to the love of your life. yet instead of being happy. all you can think about is if you made the right decision, or if you just signed your whole life away.

if you enjoyed this, do express your feelings and i will post the rest of the chapters and write it all the way to the end :)

[shisnhou]

astronomy

pairing: nanami kento x f! reader

genre: angst

wc: 1,5k

an: this is the first chapter of the story i will be releasing soon! tell me if you want more :)

marriage.

many people fantasize about being married.

to many, the idea of marriage is pure bliss. the thought of being together amidst the misunderstandings, pain, and marriage blues, the happiness, the shared home, the matching rings, the memories, creating a family, and the promises of forever regardless every arrow that shoots the heart of the relationship.

and as many wedding vows go, 'to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death. this is my solemn vow.' they entail one of many things, but mainly, to be together and cherish one another regardless of what happens.

but to some, that wasn't the case, and you wish you found out sooner, you wish you found out that you were part of the some, and not that many.

marriage is the biggest scam that you fell for in your whole life. the vows, the wedding, the rings, every single bit and piece of it is a horrid scam that you find yourself to be the victim of.

the marriage that lays upon your shoulders isn't bliss and happiness, it isn't nothing but a waste of money, yet a waste of life as well.

the marriage that many gush of, the marriage that you once gushed about, has failed you. you aspired to be one of those people who walked down the aisle whilst their partner was crying as they stood by the altar, watching the love of their life walking down the carpeted floor. you once imagined yourself as one of those people who would feel delighted once the ring engulfed your ring finger, you once wished of kissing the one person you love before the eyes of many who bear witness to your love story tying the knot.

but now, the marriage you gushed about is the same marriage you are itching to end.

it no longer makes you happy— being tied down to this 'sacred' bond. the wedding ring hugging your ring finger barely even glimmers, unlike the one that your husband has abandoned on his dresser. rather, it feels heavy.

you thought you'd be all smiles after marrying the love of your life, but you've been crying more than you have been laughing, the tears you spared and still are sparing are not of happiness, rather, of pain and agony. the kisses that you two share send you not butterflies in your stomach, instead pins and needles.

there‘s no love in your marriage, no love in this 'sacred' bond. it‘s all pain, sadness, and hurt. you feel mocked every time you see a happy couple holding hands in the street, much like the way the wedding ring that has been collecting dust since your husband has left it on his dresser; he‘s left it there since your wedding day.

and the mockery becomes even worse when you're around family. the family that were there to witness your 'loving marriage'. the same family you keep lying to about your marriage.

"i can‘t you believe it. god, no one thought you‘d be the first to marry amongst us!" kiki, older cousin screeches. she talks your ear off about your marriage and all that, and you wish you were able to slip away and lay in bed all day.

you hate gatherings like this with a burning passion. to you, it was all bullshit, because half of the time, they were just giving each other backhanded compliments, and now it's become your personal hell because all they do is ask you about your relationship.

"hm, surprise i guess." you mumble, taking a huge sip out of your wine, thinking of an excuse to get out of her as soon as possible.

"not to mention, to a rich and handsome man!" well, you assume that‘s one of the good things about your husband; that he was rich, tall, and handsome. "how‘d you do that?"

"it‘s a long story." you lie, rolling your eyes to cover the hard glare that‘s threatening to lay itself upon your cousin just so that she‘d shut her running mouth.

"well, you better hold him close. you‘ll never know what could be goin' on when you aren‘t home." you hate her, you truly do. it‘s unbelievable to you, how one could look so nice yet spout the worse kinds of things to someone who didn‘t even do anything.

"why would she need to hold him down when she's got him at the palm of her hand?" shima, another cousin of yours butts before kiki could say anything more.

"well, y'know how men are, ma.." kiki trails, causing you to role your eyes once again.

not that you care. you quit caring not so long ago. caring is a hard job, a job that was fruitless. so, you just quit. not that it matters to anyone anyway, not even to your husband.

it doesn‘t matter. you barely matter. all that matters it that you keep your husband's perfect image of husband above sea.

"believe me, i know everything that goes down." trying to hold up your facade, you smile, turning your head to the other side, hoping that they wouldn't notice that look on your face. the look that no one else sees. the look that you hide from the world, even from yourself. "everything is all and well."

lie after lie, excuse after excuse.

your mouth runs words. empty words that you wish the people will believe, praying that they don't see through the hollow letters, the broken vows inside the house of lies.

yet as you smile, hoping that they'd stop interrogating you, you come to the realization that there's only so much you can do when he doesn't even try to uphold your marriage's reputation.

"but where is he, though?" kiki's boyfriend— hirugami— asks, wide eyes staring at you. "you said he'd be here. i'd love to talk to him! ask more about the stock market n' all that,"

his words are genuine and you know that he means no harm, however the urge to slap your hand above his mouth is making you itch.

you made nanami promise to make an appearance, and he said he'd try his best to show some face. but hours have passed since the appointed time and all you can do is curse him in your head and wish that his expensive polished shoes hit a brick wall and break.

"busy." is your curt answer, running out of excuses to make. "being a business man really works you up, you know? having to stay in the office—"

before you finish your words, the devil himself appears by the door. your eyes go wide, and unbeknownst to you, a spark of hope glints in your eyes.

"kento," you whisper to yourself, rising quickly to make your way to him. but before you're able to, your aunt is rushing to greet him.

"kento! we're glad you're here." she smiles widely, wrapping her hand around his arm, leading him into the house.

his eyes meet yours. your heart skips a beat. despite convincing yourself that you and him no longer have any kind of ties, your heart never fails to recognize the man you fell in love with, the man who still holds your heart in his hands.

"(y/n)," your name falls from his lips, and without even realizing it, your feet walks to him, right where he is.

your aunt looks up at him, one brow raised at the sound of your name, as if you were a stranger and he just called your name out of no where.

"i need to go to my wife first. i need to greet her first." he says, retracting his arm and eyeing your aunt.

your aunt's eyes widen, sheepishly she smiles and lets go while nodding. you smile at her as nanami takes a step closer. for the second time, your eyes meet his. you swallow, looking deeply into his grey eyes and landing on your arms on his broad shoulders.

naturally, his hands move to your waist, causing a shiver to run up your spine.

"kento," you inhale his scent, recognizing the masculine scent of his perfume that you bought him last christmas. "hey."

"hello, wife." his words are sweet, but his face isn't. his lips remain thin and flat, even when his lips come closer, even when they press against yours.

"how was—"

"kento!" hirugami, screams his name walking up to him and slapping his hand on his back causing nanami to jolt and turn his head. hirugami is oblivious to the one sweet moment that he disrupted. but you can't blame him, not when he has not a single clue as to what happens behind closed doors.

"hirugami." nanami sends you one last look before he turns around to meet the man and greet him properly.

internally you sigh, already missing and yearing the feeling of his huge hands around your waist.

"you really have go him wrapped around your finger, huh?" shima teases. "i've never seen a man as tall as him calm down when he sees his wife."

you laugh softly at her words, wishing that what she said was true, despite knowing for a fact that it's the farthest thing from the truth. "well, it's a newly weds thing."

she hands you your glass of wine and you take it from her, but not without clinking it with hers first.

"you're right, you newly weds are truly sweeter than candy." obliviously, she agrees.

as her words leave her lips, you wish that she would never see through your lies. hoping that your lies manifest. that one day, your wishes and prayers will come true.

yes, this is very much inspired by conan gray's song astronomy.

[shisnhou]

kill gojo

pairing: gojo x gn! reader

cw: toxic exes, toxic relationship, unhealthy obsession with one another, hints at cheating, do tell me if a missed any!

wc: 1.08

you're at the brink of your sanity.

and it's all because of your ex boyfriend who is insane himself.

you two have been broken up for eight months— nearly nine. the break up was not your idea. if anything, it was one thing you didn't even think about. you were more than ready to kill for him, to be his ride or die, to be everything and anything he wanted you to be. you used to have an obssesion with having him in your hands and any kind of separation made your heart beat in worry.

when you two broke up, it felt like you were going to split the world in half. the insanity was getting inside your head, the break up felt like the end of the world. you still chased after him since he was everything you knew and you had, but he threw you away and simply looked at you with disgusted eyes before he slamed the doors before your very eyes.

but after a few weeks of words from getou and a load of night outs with shoko, you brought yourself back in no time. you healed and forgot, you forgave for some reason despite holding every single grudge against him and his girls, and now you are thriving in a better environment.

the break up scarred you badly and you want nothing but to be free from all that hurt and anger.

you truly thought you could leave and make him a mere fragment of your memory.

that's laughable, gojo says.

"what the fuck, gojo?" you screech, kicking the door of his expensive sports car, denting the metal with your shoes. but gojo could care less about the dent, he can get his car repaired tomorrow, buy a new one even. the only thing he's thinking about is why you're so pissed at him. "why would you fucking punch him like that?" 

gojo zones out for a second. he looks at the dent and forgets that you are trying to lecture him about punching your excuse of a date- which he thinks is pointless. why would you argue with him when all he did was do the right thing? 

the right thing? what is it? oh, it's not a big deal. he just punched your date in the face because the man placed his hand around your waist without asking which caught you off guard. not that it made you felt uncomfortable, you were just surprised, you actually liked it, but gojo thought thinks that it's a mortal sin for another man to touch you, so he sent the man a punch to the face.

"he touched you." he deadpans, holding an expression that will make you lose your mind.

"okay, so what if he did? what does that have to do with anything?" you roll your eyes digging your nails into your scalp and trying to scratch the unscratchable itch inside your brain that's caused by your ex that's standing before you.

he does this all the time and you wish that you could just catch a breath.

"you're fucking insane." you mutter underneath your breath.

gojo laughs at that. he looks at you with his blue eyes piercing deep into your own, causing a shiver down your spine. "i can't believe that you're the one saying that." he smirks, brows raising, finger moving to tip your chin. "you were chasing me around nine months ago, hunting down girls i went around with, even after we broke up."

you scoff, wrapping your hand around his wrist and bringing it down. "i did." you proudly say. "you know why? because i didn't understand why we even broke up in the first place. i did nothing. infact, i did everything you wanted me to do, so imagine what position i was in when you abruptly left with a fucking text talking about how i'm too much for you." 

he says nothing back, simply watching you point all the arrows at him. it's clear to him that you want nothing to do with him anymore, but god that's too hard for him to bear.

truth be told, gojo doesn't even know why he broke up in the first place. he though  you were too much for him, but now that he's the one chasing you around after months after the break up, he wonders if was clinically insane.

"well, that was in the past. i'm here now! i'm here, right in-front of you." he opens his arms wide, as if to engulf you in a hug. to his dismay, you simply glare at him, unimpressed by his act. 

gojo heaves a deep sigh, putting his hands back down. "look, i know i made a grave mistake by breaking up with you. that was uncalled for. we both didn't need that." the glimmer in his eyes make you want to believe him, but you mentally shake your head, refusing to fall for his act. "being far away from you was a pain and i admit having you chase me around sucked. yet when you stopped chasing after me, i felt like i lost a piece of me—"

at that sentence you moved away from him, taking a step back and showing him your disgusted expression. "i can't fucking believe you. you fucking disgust me." you seethe, glowering at him and shaking your head. "i thought that you maybe changed, and you did, but for the worse. god, gojo, i really thought we could make ammends, but you make me want to walk away and forget you forever."

at your words gojo's brows furrow. you say nothing else, simply turning your back and walking away. but before you're able to walk a mere step away, he grabs your wrist. you're forced to halt, preparing a rally of words to tell him. but your literacy slips away when your eyes meet his dangerous ones.

"walk away and forget forever? you can't do that." he darkly whispers, smiling as if his intentions were innocent. "you can't have anyone else. i might love seeing you smile, but if it's with someone else it's going to be a problem. any other man with you is going to be a problem. a very big problem." 

the hold on your wrist becomes loose, but in return, his hand cups your cheek and forces proximity between you both. "i'm a mature man, but you drive me insane. if any other man tries to have you they can't.. because if i can't have you, nobody can."

this is not made to fantasize toxic relationship in any way shape or form. if you or someone you know needs help getting away from a toxic relationship, please contact local authorities.

[shisnhou]

sorry for the inactivity, school was hectic. i‘ll get back on writing :)

[shisnhou]

Nah bro but fr ?? Pacific Punch ??? I just tried and there's too many flavors to process. Jfc. But judging for how sweet it is. Kinda makes sense you like it.

-May

pacific punch is just perfection

[shisnhou]

can I js say the way u write angst always makes me speechless like it genuinely makes me sad💀

from the very bottom of my heart, i love this compliment

[shisnhou]

“one more love song” with nanami isn’t gender neutral if the reader is addressed as a “miss”

i‘m sorry this is an honest mistake. i didn‘t proofread my work. i‘ve corrected it and read through it. thank you for bringing this up to me

[shisnhou]

very suggestive content!

under the influence

it‘s a chilly evening. the wind is whispering its nightly lullaby, while the stars are slowly lighting up the city. you‘re standing in the balcony, glass of wine in hand, whereas your boyfriend has his usual cigar between his lips.

you‘ve always wondered what the smoke would taste like on your lips. although you aren‘t one for smoking, your curiosity just tends to pique a lot.

so you tend to turn to your boyfriend, geto suguru, and ask him all the things you‘re curious about his habit.

"babe," you turn to him, quirking a brow as you eye the lit stick between his lips. "do your lungs not burn after taking a drag?"

geto looks at you, then back down at his stick before he puffs out a white fog. "not really. i‘ve gotten used to it." he hums, taking your wine glass and drinking from it. "why?"

you hum in return, shrugging your shoulders as you look far into the distance. "seeing you smoking has got me intrigued. i‘ve never smoked before, nor have i ever tried it."

this isn‘t new information to him. he already knows that you‘ve not once touched a lit cigarette in your life. he isn‘t against it, in fact, he finds it bewildering that someone like you—who‘s not into smoke— is someone with him—who‘s never seen without the cancer stick hanging between his lips—.

"well, if you‘re so curious," lowly, he reaches in for his pocket and grabs the last stick he has. you eye him and smile. "here."

you shake your head and place his hand back into his pocket. "that‘s your last stick."

geto simply shrugs his shoulder and looks at you with a lazy smile. "if it‘s for you, i don‘t mind."

you can‘t help but roll your eyes at him, chuckling as you take a sip of your wine. "thank you, but i‘m not into it. i just wanted to try and feel what the smoke is like when it‘s in me for once in my life."

at your words an idea pops into your boyfriend‘s head. "yeah? you want to try what it‘s like?" he asks, intrigued but also almost eagerly.

"mhm, kinda."

his smile becomes wider at that.

geto tips your chin, forcing your eyes and his to meet. he smiles lazily and inches closer to your face. "you sure you want to try it?" he asks.

you have no idea what he‘s about to do, but you figure it must be one of his stupid yet hot ideas. as much as you know that he could be doing one of the dumbest things ever, you‘re still going to fall through with it; because it‘s him, your boyfriend, the love of your life, geto suguru.

you nod and he smiles once again, bending down and whispering into your ear. "close your eyes," he says in a husky voice.

you do as told, quietly listening to whatever is happening. all you hear is him taking one long exhale before his lips are pressed against yours.

geto‘s deft fingers are holding your cheeks softly to open your mouth as he passes something on to you. you moan lowly, feeling his tongue wrapping around yours before he pulls back and smirks at you.

"exhale, baby." is his order. you follow strictly and blow out the smoke from your mouth. white fog fills the air as he watches you with hazed eyes. he licks his lips and takes a short drag from his stick before he nears you and slowly blows near your face.

through the fog, you see his eyes clouding with lust as he holds you close to him. "how did that feel? good?"

you‘ve truly never been one for smoking, but god forbid would you be on your knees just to do that again.

[shisnhou]

— my hero academia [ii]

: this is my second masterlist as tumblr does have a limit. go check out my first one for more work of mine

- fluff

[more on my first m.list!]

- angst

july, hawks

- headcannons

[more on my first m.list!]

- drabbles

kiss me more, dabi

shisnhou‘s directory, requests

[shisnhou]

i did not know that you‘re only limited to a hundred links per post. this is news to me. i will be making a new mha masterlist, please stay tuned.

[shisnhou]

kiss me more

dabi looks at you begrudgingly. well, not in a hostile manner, just more of the squinted eyes and tightened lips manner.

"why the fuck do you keep doing that with your lips?" the villain asks, demandingly. for longer than a minutes, his eyes have been darted on the pout of your glistening lips.

"doing what?" you raise a brow, lips however, still unmoving; much to dabi‘s irritation.

he clicks his tongue and gives up on telling you what he sees. if you‘re willing to act stupid, then so be it. "this shit." he places his finger just centimetres away from the glossed lip you tut out. "what the fuck is that all about."

there, he finally notices.

you‘ve been purposely pouting your lips out for hours, and after the third mark your rather coolly boyfriend has noticed.

"i have no clue as to what you‘re talking about." however, you pretend not to know what he‘s talking about.

dabi‘s brows furrow at that. begrudgingly, he puts down his finger to his side and gives you a suspicious look. he‘s not convinced with your act, with you, everything always has an ulterior motive.

and just as he suspected, you do in face have an ulterior motive.

lately, your boyfriend hasn‘t been home much. dabi‘s always out working, or whatever the fuck he‘s doing out there. for days without an end, you‘re often left home to your own devices. and as you‘re left to handle yourself, you find yourself missing your mischievous boyfriend. most especially, you miss his thin lips against yours.

you painfully miss the way he teases you with kisses that just feel like playing with fire. his lips on yours always feels so good, so good that sometimes you wish breathing wasn‘t such a big deal so that he wouldn‘t have to get back up to catch his breath.

"yeah, this act isn‘t impressing me princess. what d‘ya want?" he leans close to you, his finger tips holding your jaw up. "i don‘t have all day."

"nothing," you prod further with the act, but tutting your lips out just a little more; accentuating your glossed lips even more. "what do you want?"

dabi snickers. he bends down jus above you, enough that his lips near yours. with your now near leveled places, you‘re able to breathe in his familiar scent and feel the situation escalate. this is what you have been waiting for ages, for his lips to finally hit yours.

"i don‘t want nothin‘, pretty. what do you want?" he answers your question with a question of his own. "why‘re you bein' all pouty and shit? d‘ya want something to buy?"

you roll your eyes at him. sometimes, you do hate your boyfriend. though he can be sweet, he can also be clueless; as much as he is mean. you had thought pushing buttons might lead him on, but you overestimated him and now he‘s just confused.

"y'know what, nevermind." you sigh, wrapping your hand around his wrist and pushing it to his chest. "you‘re oblivious." you mutter, losing hope.

dabi looks at you with now a pout of his own. he watches you retreat and take your phone into your hands. he still stands there, looking at you with a face more confused than earlier.

he loves you of course, but he sometimes just doesn’t understand what goes inside your pretty little mind. more often than not, he just finds himself sighing and trying to figure out what you mean.

as he turns around and retreats, thinking about what you could have wanted. but as he is just about to leave the room, he suddenly hears something from your phone.

"here‘s the best lipgloss that pouts your lips and make you look as kissable as possible!"

what?

oh..

oh.

a lightbulb lights up inside his head. in a split second, he‘s flipping his head and caging you down. you watch with a bored expression, seeing him smirk. you cock a brow, but before you realize it, he‘s grabbing your phone out of your hands and kissing you.

your eyes widen in surprise, but they quickly flutter close as you wrap your hands around his nape.

it‘s a deep passionate kiss. his tongue moving slow against yours. lips move in perfect sync. it‘s a needy lock of lips, he‘s teasing your lower lip as he runs a hand through your hair. he savours your taste as if it were a full course meal from a michelin star restaurant.

"baby," he breaks the kiss slowly. his lips are still up against yours, his breathing slow as he speaks. "y‘know, you can just always ask me to kiss you. you don‘t have to play so unfair."

you know you can. but where is the fun in that? more so now that you know, that just being pouty and mean can make him act like a starved man. so maybe, being nice is out of the table.

[shisnhou]

R your requests still open ? Can I ask for something inspired by Those Eyes by New West ? Or Atlantis by Seafret ? ( Unfortunately I can't pick a mood, sorry) w Hitoshi or Megumi or anyone you vibe with. ( It's totally fine if you don't feel like it, or even don't want to!)

Loved ur writing btw !

atlantis

pairing: fushiguro megumi x gn! reader

genre: angst, hurt/no comfort

cw: implied death. heartbreak. possible mistakes

wc: 0.9k

an: finally, i written it :) i hope you enjoy! also very sorry for the wait :(

love is a fraud. 

that’s one thing fushiguro megumi stands by. 

he believes it’s the biggest scam that the human race falls for. he firmly believes that there is no truth in love, that love does not last forever. whatever everybody else says, he will stand by his words and say with a stern voice that love is all a lie.

wherever he looks, he sees people in love and he can’t help but think when these people will break-up and curse at each other. he wonders how much longer until they’re suddenly taken or ripped apart from each other.

call him bitter, call him spiteful, he could give less of a shit. no one will ever be able to change his mind. 

‘but how can you say so?’ is a question megumi often hears when someone hears about his belief. ‘how can you say that love is the biggest fraud? have you ever been in love yourself? it’s blissful!’ is what they would say, and to that megumi would always scoff.

of course. why would he say it was a scam if he hasn’t been in-love himself?

once upon a time, fushiguro was a man deep in love. once upon a time, fushiguro was a man who believed love was the greatest feeling a human could ever feel. 

once upon a time there was a different definition of love in megumi’s life. once upon a time, the definition of love was you. 

in your eyes he found the look of love. in your arms, he felt love when you held him. in the bond you shared, he found himself a home that he had never had before. 

when you sweetly called him “megs,” or “gumi” god, did it feel so good to him. it felt like he finally had the love that he had deserved. the love that he had yearned for so long. 

love changed his whole being and everything that he once believed in. 

he loved the mornings, although he hated when the sun peeped into the room, because he loved the way you would be so deep in sleep but you’d still be clinging on to him. he loved the smell of coffee, although he hated its bitter taste, because you would always brew yourself one to start your day. he loved the rush of sharing the bathroom, although he hated cramped spaces, because being with you always made him feel a bit brighter. 

every time you two went out, he always left his hand open just for you to take anytime you wanted, even though he wasn’t a fan of pda. megumi would always be two steps behind you wherever you went, just to see your expression when you started to wonder where he was and smile when you saw him just behind you. anytime you two were in an enclosed space, he would bring your hand to his chest and make you feel the beating of his heart with a soft kiss to the back of your hand just so that you’re able to feel how happy he is to be with you. 

he always made it a point to show you the little things that only you were able to do to him because he loved you so much. and he was convinced you were the one for him every time you held him a little closer, cupped his face in your warm palms, and whispered, "I love you so much,gumi." 

he was so sure that the ground of your love was as strong as diamonds. he was always so sure that the ground underneath you both would never break. 

but suddenly, the grounds of his once stable love was hit by a massive earthquake. the strings that once bound you two were suddenly cut and he didn’t even know. the love you had made over hard ground suddenly sank deep into the pit of nothingness. 

one night, megumi suddenly received a call. one night suddenly megumi ran outside without a single thought in his head. one sight megumi saw his future fall down the drain. that one night, megumi lost the home and the love that he thought would be forever. 

that night, megumi knew his love was gone when he saw your body covered with a white linen stained with red blood. and along with the red blood stains, also bled the love that you also held for him. 

everything was a blur, and the last thing he remembered hearing was the ringing of his ears. the ringing of his ears was the faint sound of your voice when you called him mere minutes before you were gone without him even knowing. your sweet voice that sweetly told him, "i love you, Megumi Fushiguro, until the end of my life. I will always love you." 

he hadn’t known you meant it literally. 

since that day, megumi started to believe that love was a big fat fraud, a scam that had caught him with his guard down. it was all so good in the beginning, but it had abruptly ended without his knowledge. everything he had known, everything he had had, everything he loved was suddenly gone and he wasn’t even prepared. 

he still firmly believes that love is an artifice sculpted so perfectly, that even the most intelligent of them all would fall for it. love is nothing but a lie that captures people in its grasp and drops them from the high ground it holds for its own pleasure. 

love is a lie. a lie that caught fushiguro megumi a long time ago. 

[shisnhou]

That July story is soooo good pls I loved every bit of it been a good while since I read good angst I loved it

i‘m glad you enjoyed it!

[shisnhou]

do you allow translations?

unfortunately not, i‘m sorry :(

[shisnhou]

until i found you

fushiguro megumi is not a romantic for sure. he is not the kind to walk with a skip in his steps, not the kind to giggle, not the kind to smile at mundane things.

so why the hell is he acting so different now?

as megumi lies in his bed, one phone in one hand the other over his lips, he awaits your text. underneath the hand, he has the most idiotic smile on his face and he doesn‘t even realize it. although his cheeks are as red as tomatoes and his ears are hotter than lava.

as the grey bubble with three dots appear, his mind runs and he feels impatience course through his veins. he‘s never been like this before, never felt this before. never in his life has he ever felt impatience while waiting for a text. and now here he is, feeling his mind question why it‘s taking you so long to text back.

his brows furrow deeply when the three dots disappear. his lips turn into an adorable pout as his fingers move and hover over the call symbol. however, you beat him to it.

giddily, he rolls over, pressing his back directly against the soft mattress of his bed. his lips return to it‘s curved form as he looks at the nickname he set for you on his phone 'ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭*ꨄ︎' before quickly swiping the answer button.

"hey there," your voice sends a shiver down his spine in the best way possible. "gumi?" even the sound of his name leaving past your lips has got his heart running insanely fast. he truly has the hots for you.

"‘m here," he has to clear his throat right there, afraid his voice might crack and give away the fact that he‘s grinning like an idiot with his feet bent; nearly raised off the bed. "why‘d you call?"

he hears you snort on the other side of the phone, shuffling. "can i not miss my own boyfriend?" you roll your eyes, although your lips are widely spread just like his.

at your words megumi‘s mind screams 'eureka!' his eyes turn to slits as he places his phone over his heart that beats for you. he silently giggles and laughs; hand shadowing the stupid smile on his lips. while his feet are suddenly up the air, kicking in a silly manner.

"‘gumi? you still there?" his nickname is once again uttered, and he feels blessed by the gods. your mere voice sends him to the skies, making him yearn for your presence beside him right this instant.

"‘course, yeah, 'm always here." he speaks quick like an idiot, disguising the fact that he feels like a stupid teenager talking to their crush over the phone.

"can you just stay on the phone and talk about your day? 'm really tired. i just wanna sleep and listen to you." fushiguro megumi still cannot contain himself as he practically dies and falls on the floor; his joy unable to contain itself.

"yeah, okay." he smiles, laying on the floor before continuing and speaking of his day— which was spent just thinking about you. the grin he holds never leaves his face, instead it becomes bigger as he imagines your sleepy face.

he just feels content, like a young teen in love, even though you two have been together for the last two years.