shit-the-gorillaz-never-said - Tumblr blog

[shit-the-gorillaz-never-said]

2D: Wait, so it's all Robert Smith?

Russel: Always has been.

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Noodle: sometimes, when something bad happens, i like to play music to calm people down.

Russel, sighing: what is it this time?

Noodle, standing up and strumming her guitar frantically: ♪ 2D AND I SET THE KITCHEN ON FIRE ♪

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Russel: have you guys seen Murdoc? i can't find him anywhere.

Noodle: don't worry, i got this. hey, 2D?

2D: yeah?

Noodle: say something.

2D: like what?

Noodle: anything will do. anything that's going on inside that head of yours right now.

2D: well, i was just thinking; trains are basically sideways elevators—

Murdoc, from across the house: EXCUSE ME, WHAT THE FUCK?

Noodle: he's in the bathroom.

Russel: i— thanks?

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Russell: Murdoc y'all need to sit your ass down and eat a fuckin snickers.

Murdoc: And why the hell would i do that?!

Russell: Because your being a lil bitch cause your ass is hungry

*Murdoc then eats a Snickers bar and is a decent human being the end*

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russel: how are y-

noodle: we did a buzzfeed quiz! “which std are you? find out with ten simple questions”

russel:

noodle: I got crabs! 2-D: I’m herpes! ace: gonorrhea!

russel: wait what about murdoc?

noodle:

ace: he got “all of the above”

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We're alive and would love some suggestions, or shit, someone draw some fanart! Or if you have, tag it! Love to see artistic renderings of shit Gorillaz 100% actually said

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Coronavirus P.S.A.!

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Murdoc, upset: I hate you with every inch of my being.

2D, boldly: That’s not a lot of inches.

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“I’m a disastard. Disaster Bastard.”

— - Murdoc 

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“Trust me, Murdoc, given the legal opportunity, I will kill you.”

-Noodle

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“Sure, I made mistakes when I was younger. But now that I’m older I’ve learned how to make different, often far more serious mistakes.”

- Murdoc

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"'It’s time to forget the mistakes of the past and start making the mistakes of the future!'"

-Murdoc Niccals

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-Murdoc enters the studio, last-

Russel: This is an environment of welcoming, and you should just get the hell outta here.

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With your help kids (submissions and requests), we can bring this blog back from the half-dead

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2-D: you know, it takes a lot of effort for me to appear this fabulous

noodle (tying 2-D’s shoelaces): yeah, my effort

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2D: “I don’t know what’s around the corner. My mum taught me that.”

Interviewer: “How’d she teach you that?”

2D: “She said Stuart you never know what’s around the corner.”

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I have to wear a new T-shirt every night. I throw them into the audience. One day I’m going to go around the world and reclaim all my T-shirts.

2D