shizyle - Tumblr blog

[shizyle]

some twitter drdt drabbles but this for the tumblr ppl without twitter 😈

[shizyle]

oh shit i forgot to post this one here

[shizyle]

[inhale]

THE MOOON WILL SING A SONG FOR MEEE I LOVED YOU LIKE THE SUN

BORE THE SHADOWS THAT YOU MADE WITH NO LIGHT OF MY OWNNNNN

I SHINE ONLY WITH THE LIGHT YOU GAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEE-

[shizyle]

An Attempt at Analyzing David Chiem’s Motivations

and a bunch of other stuff that got in there somehow

Ch2 Ep12 spoilers ahead! (And spoilers for the Literature Girl Insane MV picture if you haven’t seen it already)

So, Ch2 Ep12 changed some things about my perception of David. I was under the impression that the way he was acting in the trial was because of a self destructive breakdown, but the latest episode reveals that he’s making an attempt at altruism.

But I still think he’s having a self destructive breakdown. The end result is still the same—he dies, he ruins his public image. This is still, objectively, self destructive behavior. He just has a motivation to make it “worth it” now.

I believe David wants to be a good person. He just doesn’t know how to be one. He feels like he may never be one. Xander is that good person David wishes he was, so he’s dedicating himself to following what Xander would do. If Xander was good, he can also be good by following his example. (I made a theory about something like this a while back, go read my David Chiem and colors analysis if you’re curious)

So let’s return to that picture of David holding Xander’s jacket, with the context of this episode.

First of all, the “you” in these quotes is most definitely Xander.

1. I became a villain in pursuit of your dream.

We know what this means. David acted up during the trials to look guiltier so that the trial would end up with a misvote. He’s actively trying to end the lives of everyone there because of what Xander tried and failed to do in Chapter 1. But what I’m curious about is what Xander’s “dream” really was. He never said anything about wanting to end the killing game by dying. The only thing he tried to do was kill Teruko.

David pauses before stating that his motive was to end the killing game by eliminating the entertainment value. His expression is also pretty suspicious. It sounds like something he made up on the spot. And if he wanted to end the killing game by not being entertaining, why did he go against everyone’s plan of doing nothing and killing no one? Why did he fan the flames by telling everyone to admit their secrets? The conflict that stemmed from his actions was what made the second chapter entertaining to begin with. So I don’t think this truly was his motive for trying to get everyone killed. I think he was following in Xander’s footsteps. He’s trying to kill Teruko.

We all remember the secret David got, right?

I think most of us agree that him saying this was Xander’s secret was a lie. He waited until everyone was done talking so he could make sure no one had Xander’s actual secret, and then he pinned it on him. He also has an extremely high opinion of Xander and gets upset when people slander him, so I don’t think there’s any way he would admit to this being Xander’s secret unless it wasn’t actually Xander’s secret. I think he’s saying it’s Xander because he feels comfortable using his name for his goals, since they’re “partners in crime” in his mind. That secret is definitely Teruko’s.

I think when Xander initially attempted to kill Teruko, David was conflicted about how to feel. But once he got Teruko’s secret, it made sense. Xander was a hero and Teruko was a villain, and David had to do what Xander couldn’t. His ploy to get everyone killed is so Teruko has to be killed alongside them.

That’s my theory, anyway. I could be wrong, especially considering David could’ve tried to kill Teruko with his own hands if he really did want her dead. But it’s also possible he didn’t do that because he knew she would have survived it somehow.

2. I threw away my humanity for an ideal that I couldn’t understand.

What’s interesting to me here is the use of the word “couldn’t”. It’s not that he “didn’t” understand Xander’s ideals. It’s that he “couldn’t”, because he doesn’t understand Xander’s altruism. Every time he talks about his motivations in this episode, it’s about Xander. He even frames the moral dilemma of killing everyone there for the greater good from Xander’s perspective—16 lives, which was how many there were when Xander attempted murder, rather than 13, which is how many there are as David is saying this.

David doesn’t know how to be a good person. He believes Xander is the only good person he’s ever known, so he’s blindly following what “Xander would do” in hopes of doing something good.

This is especially interesting to me because becoming a good person has been a theme this whole chapter. Arei used Eden as a reference for what a good person looked like as well. But that’s an essay for another time!

3. But I don’t regret it. To “regret” is to imply that I could have done anything else.

I’m pretty sure the only thing keeping David going is Xander’s legacy. He doesn’t have much faith in himself as a person, so it’s either give up or give everything to the ideals of the man he believed in.

This line makes it pretty evident to me that even though he’s acting like he knows what he’s doing, he still feels lost. But at the same time, when you’re lost in a maze, the only thing you can do is follow the path ahead of you.

4. I never told you, but the truth is, I wasn’t capable of ever becoming human in the first place.

The idea of being human is present in a lot of things relating to David’s character. This 4th quote in particular seems to be a response to this line by Xander, from their “role models” conversation.

David is also associated with the book No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai through the Literature Girl Insane MV. No Longer Human is about a man that feels so detached from other people that it’s like he’s not even one of them. To fit in, he pretends to be what they expect him to be, but he never truly feels connected to them.

“Mine has been a life of much shame. I can’t even guess myself what it must be to live the life of a human being.”

I think it’s safe to guess that David feels a similar way.

David is disoriented by normal human interaction. The ways in which he interacts with people are entirely based on their perception of him. He’s an upstanding role model when that’s what they expect, and a callous villain once they accuse him of murder. He acts that way to further his goals, sure, but it’s still isolating. As he says, his relationships are fake, because he himself is a fake person.

He feels like he fundamentally lacks what other humans have. This could mean a whole slew of things, but I think the most relevant one right now is ideals. David doesn’t have ideals of his own in the way Xander does. Xander believes in fighting for what’s right. David is so disconnected from other people that he doesn’t even know what “right” is.

The line where Xander calls David “human” is in the context that David isn’t a perfect role model. It’s interesting that he seems to be arguing against that. Not because he’s perfect. It seems to me like he’s saying “I am not, and never will be, like you.”

And of course, the “I never told you” is because Xander is dead. He never got to know David’s true self.

5. So in the end, you are always—

I genuinely have no idea what this means. If somebody has even the smallest clue…my ask box is open. Please.

Conclusion

Is killing the entire cast really something Xander would do? Who knows! But David sure seems to think so, and he’s apparently the one who knows Xander the best. Nevertheless, it’s leading to a lot of interesting conflict.

I also want to note that I might be making it sound like David has low self esteem. I don’t mean that. Very little has been confirmed about David’s inner psyche. But here’s my interpretation, for fun’s sake:

David has a low opinion of himself, but he also has an ego. When you think of yourself as fundamentally different from other people, that can lead to you developing a sense of superiority over it. Like you’re the only one in the world with some knowledge others don’t have. This is a mindset people with depression can easily develop. Teruko acts this way as well, a little bit. She literally calls herself a main character. David also calls himself a main character in his MV, alongside Xander.

He also doesn’t seem to respect Hu’s opinion, judging by this sprite. It’s like him and Xander are the only ones who know what has to be done, and everyone else just doesn’t understand.

But he still has low self esteem. He sees Xander as someone who is just better than him, and thinks he’s too bad of a person to improve. People can think they’re worse and better than others at the same time. It’s very interesting. But again, that’s just my interpretation, going off of vibes more than anything else.

I’ll also mention here that I think David knew Xander from news articles before the killing game started. Xander was an activist. David might’ve seen some of the things he did, like the Chariton case, on the news at some point. He might have admired him for it.

That’s all for today. They are very intriguing to me. I will be back later about non-Xanvid things.

[shizyle]

it's been a hot minute (year) since i drew drdt again. ....

...heh omg i would luv 2see pregame xanvid

[shizyle]

chat I should be called apollo with my gift of the prophecy

I rewatched drdt chapter 1 trial and never realized David was defending Xander with his whole life LMAO. His doubts and sayings that Xander would never kill anyone. I genuinely think David cared for him at some point lol or it was probably just part of his facade.

But anyhow I do believe and i swear in my corpse that David did care for him like I DONT have the evidences but !!!!!!! You should trust me🙏🙏

[shizyle]

I've got my eye on you.

Day 9 - Charles, Veronika, and David

[shizyle]

Man. I really thought I'd be able to form the rest of my thoughts on this episode before yapping away to tumblr, but my fucking god this scene. THIS SCENE. This scene just perfectly exemplifies the key difference between Teruko and David so so well. They are both bitter, broken pessimists to their very core and being, but the difference between the two of them is that David is still trying to cling onto hope. He believes wholeheartedly that the world cannot change, but he wants to believe it can so badly. He wants to believe he can change so badly, that he is willing to dig his claws as deep as he can muster into into anything that can provide him with that hope. That is why he clings so fucking hard and obsesses over the idealized version of Xander in his head to an almost possessive degree. Xander, to him, is proof that he can become a good person, that he can change. Teruko gave up on being a good person the moment the killing game confirmed to her that she is fated to suffer. She gave up on having hope the moment the ones she considered her friends nearly sent her to the grave. And because of this, she cannot under any circumstances understand why David clings so hard to the idea that Xander was a good person. She will never understand him, just like he will never understand her.

[shizyle]

I got you a gift.

[shizyle]

[shizyle]

my fav trio

original

[shizyle]

I think Abt this fic all the time

marigolds spoilers!

haru knows something...

[shizyle]

[shizyle]

Is your ship really all that great if they haven’t single-handedly ended fascism

[shizyle]

"if it kills me, it kills me" he's so metal i love him

[shizyle]

Rereading the sea of monsters and I had forgotten that Beckendorf was the first person in Camp half-blood that didn't treat Tyson like a freak and spent time with him and I can't imagine how sad Tyson was when he died shut up

[shizyle]

tis the season of snow (and harveston sledaton!!!!)

this event was so fun to read ohhh me and the randomest dudes goin on a sledaton together