I want to have conversations with the people I once felt I had a good connection with. I want to keep talking to those who I had been talking to for a while.
idek what I'm saying, I'm just tired. i probably don't even make sense, maybe I'm the asshole who knows
hi hi everyone~ im sorry for not being entirely active for the past week! i've been going out every weekend, resting, and starting the process of doing personal statements for graduate school! i'm always down to chat but sometimes i may not be in the tickle mood so even a regular conversation is fine for me! I don't want tickling to be representing 100% of me as i do still have a life outside of this account. love yall <3
kinda just had a moment where I thought about my first tickle session ever and it was actually like, probably the worst experience. I was 19 at the time so I didn't know any better and didn't know what to do to defend myself.
I was tied down pretty tightly where I was almost immobile, which now I think was uncomfortable for me but I never said anything. some spots he tickled me and it felt fine but the moment he was getting my sides, ribs, and hips, it was over, and not in a good way. I was bruised in those areas and I did let him know. I can't remember if he apologized or not, but I do remember him being like "well you could've said something," but I 100% recall saying here and there "go light go light," indicating that it was starting to hurt more, but he didn't care. Also, he never asked throughout the session if he was going too hard or not, AND HE KNEW I WAS NERVOUS ABOUT THE SESSION.
another thing he did that I didn't like was when he'd tell me "say that I'm the tickle master and I'll release you." to be very honest, I HATE when I'm forced to do something like that. I'm not the type to call my partner daddy or something, so this is already bleh. Mind you, I was 19, and he's close to or in his 30s!
there was then a moment where he worshipped my feet, which I don't care for too much. Since I was trying to let him do his thing, my eyes went to the tv, but he saw that I looked elsewhere and he told me "you should be looking at this instead," indicating that I should be watching him worship my feet.
Now, here comes the best part. he had the videos ready and whatnot within a few months. I did not realize that I had to PAY FOR MY OWN VIDEOS. I asked him if I really had to pay for them, and he responded with something like "well this is how I make money." I was so shocked when my 19 year old self had to pay for these, and tbh, it wasn't like a low price, at least for me. at one point he was telling me along the lines of "I guess I could give you one video for free." Like wdym you guess????
Btw, this first session, some small clips are posted on my page. these were the parts where I actually felt the tickling sensation and wasn't uncomfortable.
Anyways, thank you for reading my rant <3
and I don't plan on working with him anymore (this session was back in the beginning of 2022)
Thinking about pinning a lee's waist against the bed whilst circling my thumbs inside their hip divots, taunting and teasing about how they're not only far too ticklish for their own good, but also too small to escape. I'm really that much bigger and stronger than you, hm?