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silver-quick · 7 years ago

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I can only imagine how difficult a time muggle children from THIS decade would cope if they got their letters. “I’m a wizard, sweet!”

Get to Hogwarts. “Where’s the WIFI?” “Why am I writing this by hand? It’s called a laptop. We should use them. Hell, I could write this essay for Potions on my goddamn phone if you’d let me.” “Moving pictures? yeah they’re called gifs” “You know you we could just skype over the summer, you’d get less ash on your clothes?” “Again, I ask, WHY IS THERE NO INTERNET?” “Wow cool this library is huge..... wait you mean you actually have to LOOK for a specific page in a specific book? WHY?!”

Kids are growing up these days immersed in technology. There’s constant intereaction with technology. Five years after the war is won I imagine Howarts and the wizarding world woud be having a lot of push back and forth between muggle born wizards and purebloods mainly because there’d be students wanting to reconnect with the digital world or wanting to inegrate their work and homes with it. (”it’s 2018 man, I could skype my mom is I was in India, but I cant call her from a LANDLINE from Northern Scotland? She lives in Wales, man, it aint that far.”) I don’t think it’s ever mentioned how the wizarding world does taxes (logically they must) but can you imagine trying to do it without Turbotax? Im sure they could hire accountants, but those are expsenive.

I think I broke Harry Potter

So it’s 3AM and It’s just occurred to me that the most telling scene in the entire Harry Potter franchise is the scene following the announcement of the participants of the Triwizard tournament.

When Harry’s name is pulled out of the cup, literally one of the first things he is asked is “did you ask an older boy to put your name in the cup for you?“ or something to that effect, insinuating that, that was something nobody prepared for and that it was something that totally would have worked if anyone had been smart enough to figure it out.

However, in an earlier scene a student is turned into a hundred year old man when they try to artificially age themselves with a potion and put their name into the cup. Meaning someone trying to dangerously age themselves with potion they aren’t familiar with was something the teachers genuinely considered to be more likely than someone asking for fucking help from another student.

In other words, the wizards in Harry Potter’s world are so reliant on magic that it doesn’t occur to anyone save for people like Harry that asking for help is even an option in a given situation. This explains why wizards are so fucking ass-backwards at everything, they’re so confident that their magic is capable of doing everything for them that it has never occurred to fucking anyone that perhaps asking for help from the muggle world might be of some use.

Think about it, the wizarding world hasn’t changed in hundreds of years while in that same space of time the muggle world has figured out fucking space travel. I know it’s a cliché to say to say someone could have fucking shot Voldemort, but seriously, somebody totally fucking could have, he killed like 50 people, he was effectively a terrorist, if anyone in the wizarding world bothered to ask for help from the muggles instead of just telling them there was an invisible asshole flying around shooting death curses at everyone, they may have been able to help.

Pretty much the only reason Voldermort thinks he’s better than muggles is because he’s able to kill them with impunity using magic, something he’s only able to do so easily because muggles don’t understand what magic is. Voldemort is basically like a fucking disease, he’s an invisible, lurking entity preying on mankind from the shadows like a cowardly piece of shit. You know what else did that? Smallpox and we stomped that to death the second we understood it. That’s the difference between muggles and wizards, when muggles don’t understand something, they figure it out.

And here’s the kicker, the only reason muggles don’t understand magic at all is because the wizarding world deliberately withholds information about it. However, even if the wizarding world kept doing that, it’d only be a matter of time until a muggle figured out what magic was and how to stop or harness it because that’s what humanity does, it pushes past what we think is impossible to see what’s on the other side. We didn’t understand the sun as a species originally and now we use it to power satellites and smartphones.

The wizarding world isn’t a realm of infinite possibilities, it’s a universe of strict limitations where boundaries are never questioned. The muggle world is where the real magic happens. That’s why during the course of the Harry Potter books, which are set between 1991 and 1998, the muggle world (our world) discovered dark matter, cloned a sheep and invented fucking MP3s while the wizarding world were literally paying some dipshit to figure out what the purpose of a rubber duck was.

Wow, I really shouldn’t think about this stuff when it’s like 3AM, it gets kind of dark.

#Harry Potter

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silver-quick · 7 years ago

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Review: The Daughter of The Pirate King

Title: Daughter of the Pirate King

Author: Tricia Levenseller

I joined Owlcrate a couple months back, which is a blind box service where you get some cool nerd shit related to books and also a YA novel included. Which was how I came across DotPK (Daughter of the Pirate King). On the outset, it seems like a very cool and interesting book. It has pirates! And LADY pirates! How could that NOT be interesting? One review on the book adverstised that “we now have a lady jack sparrow on our hands!”

I would argue, not really. Alosa, the titular character (Daughter of the Pirate King), is sent on a mission by her father to steal a map from another pirate Lord. This map is really important because it is one part of three that leads to Isla de Canta, which is famed to be the hiding place of all the gold and riches the mystical and deadly Sirens steal from ships they capsize. But Alosa’s dad only has one piece, the two other pieces were intrusted to two other pirate lines. So the plan is for Alosa to get kidnapped by the other Pirate Lord so she can steal the map. Sounds intesting so far, right? Intially, yeah, definitely, but the whole thing gets very tiring quickly.

Alosa spends most of the book looking for this dumb map. The ship is captained by Pirate Lord Jeskor’s son, Draxen, who acts very much like a cheesy stereotypical pirate; has terrible personal hygiene, is blood thirsty, quick to anger and incredibly misogynistic. Draxen’s first mate is his brother, Riden and the love interst to this story. Riden is the other stereotypical pirate, the heartthrobbing kind. He smirks an awful lot and is pretty. Also has a heart of gold, with a sad back story. These pair of brothers are in charge of the ship after commiting mutiny and murdering their dad (their dad was an kind of an asshole and had it coming). Why does any of this matter? I’m getting to it.

So, even though Alosa is “kidnapped” and being held ransom, it’s all part of the plan. She came prepared and being trapped in a cell doesn’t work when you have lock picks, or just striaght up steal the key. It also helps when your marks are idiots and seriously underestimate you because you’re female and they actually give you all your stuff. So at night, Alosa is talking around looking for a damn map, and during the day Riden is responsible for interrogating Alosa of the location of her dad’s keep, but lets be honest it’s mostly flirting.

And because Alosa can’t find this super well hidden map, she is stuck on this boat until she does. She even has to cement the ruse that she doesn’t want to be there by numerous escape attempts where she lets herself gets caught. Because she’s a bad ass. Or at least that’s what the author keeps telling us.

Alosa does have some amazing skill sets, don’t get me wrong (she can steal, lie, cheat and fight like the best of them, especially after all her training her dad put her through), but... she consistently has to “hold back” because she can’t tip anyone off of how much of a badass she is otherwsie they’ll start wondering why the hell she hasn’t escaped off the boat. Which is annoying, to me , at least. Pretty much every encounter Alosa has is neutered because she can’t go 100%. Why write a character who says she could take on a ship full of pirates and then not deliver on that promise? Would have been way more interesting to read than having Alosa skulk around at night for almost two weeks.

Anyways, because Riden isn’t an idiot and spends the most time with Alosa he clues in, that, hey, this lady is way better at being a pirate than anyone on this boat, she must want something. What’s so valauble that would make her stay? Maybe a map that leads to mountains of gold? Instead of calling her out on it, he just continues to flirt and seduce and make out with Alosa.

Why?

Because Draxen and Riden don’t know where the fuck the map is either. Daddy didn’t trust either of them, apparently, and hid it incredibly well. (And I will grant, it was hidden in a very clever spot, neither of those boys were smart enough to have found it)

When Alosa eventually does find the map, the brothers reveal that’s exactly what they wanted to happen. Alosa has the gall to be offended that Riden tricked her and was distracting her with his pretty face and body. Alosa, honey, you don’t get to be aloof about Riden’s attraction towards you and then turn around and be hurt when it turns out he was playing you like you were playing him. You have been very clear in thebook how you don’t “get” him, that he’s confusing, and also annoying and frsutrating with his arrogance. Yay he’s a good kisser and makes you tingly, you’re seventeen, there’ll be more in your future.

Anyways....

Surprise, she’s captured, but she escapes and again has to figure out where the damn map is again before getting off the boat. Riden is having a crissi of conscious because he really digs Alosa, but he’s not cool with her Dad being king and Riden is incredibly loyal to Draxen.

Things *finally* get interesting because both Riden and Alsoa get kidnapped by another pirate: Vordan. This dude is one of the pirate lords that has one third of the map. Now he two pieces. And he has the pirate’s king daughter and leverage over her, because she has squishy feelings for Riden. How does he know that? Because the smooth fucker got himself hired on Draxen’s ship, but was secretly spying and also trying to find the map. Alosa is arguably a great pirate but she is a TERRIBLE ninja. Also, Vordun’s plan is waaaaaaaaay better than Alosa’s, when you think about it. Vordun had free movement on the ship, where Alosa didn’t -- she was limited to when she could sneak out of her cell, and she also had to SNEAKOUT of her cell.

Things get intense when Vordun reveals that he knows about Alosa’s secret ancestry - she’s half siren!! Dun dun DUUUUUUUN!!!! And then things slow right down because Vordun states, yup, we’re going to experiment what you can and cant do as a Siren and it’s gonna be some loooooong weeks. And I’m sitting there going , nooooo, she was hunting for a fucking map for two fucking weeks and now your going to camp out on this island for weeks and torture Riden and experiment with Alosa’s abilities? Dude, you were interesting five minutues ago but now you suuuuuuuuuuck. Can’t you go into shoot out or battle a kraken or something? Also, you doing experiments on Alosa? Turns out it’s old hat for the young lady, because it turns out HER DAD DID THE SAME THING WHEN SHE WAS A FUCKING KID. She has the scars to prove it . Y’all can marinate in that thought for a minute.

Done marinating? Good, we’ll carry on.

So, through the experiments it’s revealed that Alosa can control up to three men with her song- she can also control what they see and hear and smell. When she does the control thing, she needs to recharge via geting splashed with salt water (the sea or ocean) Alosa is a potentially a terryining acid trip if she wants to be. She also has latent empath abilities, and as side effect she can “tap into” what a man most desires. So she’s kinda like Sil from “Species” I guess? Using her powers makes her feel pretty gross and suffer from disassociation when used excessively. Which is I guess why she didn’t use them from the beginning? But if I’m honest would have been way more interesting. Getting captured and then like immediately commandeering the ship that attempted to hold you ranom? That’s bad ass. There was a perfect opportunity to do it too.

They make port and pretty much everyone on Draxen’s ship, the Night Farer heads to the island for shoreleave. Alosa escapes to deliver a message to her dad about the mission and actually comes across some members of her crew that have been following her. The author is very specific in telling us that Alosa trusts her crew and how she picks people of talent. If theyre are as talented as the author wants us to belive, combined with Alosa’s own talent and her very unique skills as a Siren, they could have EASILY captured the Night Farer and Draxen and Riden. It would have been difficult, but if my research is correct (and if Alosa and her three ladies are as talented as we re led to belive ) it would have been doable for them to get Night Farer out to sea so they could search it at thier leisure. They would have only needed to hold the Night Farer, one or two days. It would have been awesome and there would be intriguing conflict and the plot would be moving forward.

Instead we have Alosa whinging about how she can’t be full on badass because it’ll blow her cover, which she still manages to do!

But to the actual climax of the book. Vordun is being really shitty about using Riden as leverage (they way they keep cutting him, dude is going to bleed out and die or just get a nasty infection and THEN die). Good thing the whole experiemnt only last like two days, because Riden plays hero and gets Alosa some sea water and she controls the dudes holding them, alloqing thme to escape She goes full siren when she hits the water to swim away and that girl can SWIIIIIIM yo. Alosa takes Riden back to the Night Farer because of his injuries and because she kind of drowns him when their escaping, because her inner Siren doesn’t give a fuck.

SHe gets captured, again, but then her crew comes to her rescue. After they’ve taken the ship, the Pirate King makes an appearance He’s not too pleased, but they gt the map piece and found out that Vordun has spies in the King’s court, soooo he has things to distract him from the fact tht his badass daughter wasn’t really a badass for most of this book.So win for ALosa -- she got the map, didn’t get chewed out by her dad and her boyfriend is healing on her ship. Yay!

Overall, I was disappointed with this book. It had a very interesting premise but it felt flat. For starters let a bad ass character be a bad ass? Alosa’s character seemed really flimsy because for the entire book she’s pretending to be something she’s not. The only true conflict she had to deal with is near the end of the book, which is way to late. The firt two thirds of the book feels like it eists to show us how awesome Alosa is, but it turns oyt she’s not because two different people figure out what she’s doing on the boat and she has no clue that they know.

Another thing, you’re creating a world with pirates, a fictional world, WHY for Star’s sake would you bring stereotypical misogynistic pirate behaviour in your world? It’s boring. It doesn’t add anything. All it does is make Alosa feel more special or rare (which being half siren already does)-- a female pirate in a world of men. It’s lazy.

Also the writing feels weird. I think the author was going for an “old timey” feel, because the strucutre feels very formal but all he does for me is making everything feel very rigid and stitled. It might because it’s also a YA novel and the short sentences remind me of JK rowling’s early work. But I hate the theory tht because something is written for YA tht the sentences and writing has to be kept simple.

#daughter of the pirate king #unpopular opion #probably #books #book review

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silver-quick · 8 years ago

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every time I see more of the ‘ao3 is evil’ crap circulating I think, ‘well, tumblr is evil too and I don’t see you stop using it’

#fanfiction #ao3

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silver-quick · 8 years ago

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STAR WARS WRITING RESOURCES

PLEASE REBLOG AND ADD ANY OTHERS YOU MIGHT KNOW OF <3 <3

WOOKIEEPEDIA. The source of anything and everything you want to know related to Star Wars. Good for fact-checking, character history, or simply killing time. There is also, of course, the official Star Wars Databank! STAR WARS GALAXY MAP. A fantastic project that maps the Star Wars galaxy as we know it. Consider donating ( if you can! ) to help keep the site up and running! Also check out W.R. van Hage’s map and the Star Wars Atlas Online Companion. TIMELINE. While hosted on Wookieepedia, this is nevertheless deserving of its own bullet point. This page provides an approximate timeline with dates of all canon material. You can also filter items, so that it displays only TV episodes, for example, or only books, or only movies! Find the Legends timeline here. STAR WARS SLANG AND PHRASES. A collection I’ve been keeping of phases, slang, idioms, insults, and more from the Star Wars universe. This also contains a glossary of frequently used terms, such as “refresher” in place of “restroom”. Please feel free to use/share!

STAR WARS NAME GENERATOR. This is a fun one AND a life saver. You can generate up to 100 Star Wars-sounding names ( first and last! ) with a click.

OTHER GENERATORS:

Spaceship names as well as spaceship type/models

Earth-like alien planets for any alien planet you don’t have info on

Random landscapes, see above

Technobabble generator for when you need a reason for a red alert

Alien plant/herb/flower name generator. Also: mineral/metal/gemstone names, material names, medication names, and descriptions of alien substances

Scifi tool names for gadgets and gizmos

OTHER WEBSITES:

Jeff Russell’s Starship Dimensions, Dirk Loechel’s Sci-fi Spaceship Size Comparisons, and other Star Wars Deckplans

Star Wars Post

Star Wars News Net

TheForce.net

#writing #writing resources #star wars

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silver-quick · 8 years ago

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Resources For Describing Emotion

Emotions

Without Making Your Character Feel Too Self Aware

Showing Emotion Without Telling About It

Emotions Associated With Body Language

Telling Readers What The Character Doesn’t Want To Show

Hiding Emotions

Expressing Cardinal Emotions: Masculine vs. Feminine

Writing Extreme Emotion Without Melodrama

Specific Emotions

Conveying Shock

Conveying Embarrassment

Conveying Disappointment

Conveying Love/Attraction

Conveying Annoyance

Conveying Relief

Conveying Uncertainty

Conveying Impatience

Conveying Shame

Conveying Resentment

Conveying Panic

Conveying Guilt

Conveying Desperation

Conveying Sarcasm & Verbal Disrespect

Conveying Confusion

Conveying Stubbornness

Conveying Frustration

Conveying Indifference

Conveying Indignation

Conveying Confidence & Pride

Conveying Smugness

Conveying Enthusiasm

Conveying Curiosity

Conveying Hopefulness

Conveying Unease

Conveying Reluctance

Conveying Worry

Conveying Humility & Meekness

Conveying Happiness & Joy

Conveying Amusement

Conveying Disgust

Conveying Resignation

Conveying Jealousy

Conveying Anticipation

Conveying Contentment

Conveying Defeat

Conveying Excitement

Conveying Fear

Conveying Hatred

Conveying Hurt

Conveying Being Overwhelmed

Conveying Sadness & Grief

Conveying Satisfaction

Conveying Somberness

Conveying Sympathy & Empathy

Conveying Wariness

Conveying Defensiveness

Conveying Desire

Conveying Doubt

Conveying Energy

Conveying Exhaustion

Conveying Hunger

Conveying Loneliness

Conveying Physical Pain

Emotional Wounds

A Role Model Who Disappoints

A Sibling’s Betrayal

A Speech Impediment

Becoming a Caregiver at an Early Age

Being Bullied

Being Fired or Laid Off

Being Held Captive

Being Mugged

Being Publicly Humiliated

Being Raised by Neglectful Parents

Being Raised by Overprotective Parents

Being So Beautiful It’s All People See

Being the Victim of a Vicious Rumor

Being Stalked

Being Trapped in a Collapsed Building

Being Unfairly Blamed For The Death of Another

Childhood Sexual Abuse (by a family member or known person)

Discovering One’s Parent is a Monster

Discovering One’s Sibling was Abused

Experiencing a Miscarriage or Stillbirth

Failing At School

Failing To Do The Right Thing

Financial Ruin Due To A Spouse’s Irresponsibility

Finding Out One’s Child Was Abused

Finding Out One Was Adopted

Getting Lost In a Natural Environment

Growing Up In A Cult

Growing Up in a Dangerous Neighborhood

Growing Up In Foster Care

Growing Up In The Public Eye

Growing Up In The Shadow of a Successful Sibling

Growing Up with a Sibling Who Has a Chronic Disability or Illness

Having Parents Who Favored One Child Over Another

Having To Kill Another Person To Survive

Infertility

Infidelity (emotional or physical)

Losing a Limb

Losing a Loved One To A Random Act of Violence

Making a Very Public Mistake

Overly Critical or Strict Parents

Physical Disfigurement

Rejection By One’s Peers

Telling The Truth But Not Being Believed

The Death of a Child On One’s Watch

Victimization via Identity Theft

Watching A Loved One Die

Wrongful Imprisonment

Spending Time In Jail

Suffering From a Learning Disability

Motivation

Achieving Spiritual Enlightenment

Avoiding Certain Death

Avoiding Financial Ruin

Beating a Diagnosis or Condition

Being Acknowledged and Appreciated by Family

Being a Leader of Others

Being the Best At Something

Caring for an Aging Parent

Carrying on a Legacy

Catching The Bad Guy or Girl

Coming To Grips With Mental Illness

Discovering One’s True Self

Escaping a Dangerous Life one Doesn’t Want

Escaping a Killer

Escaping a Widespread Disaster

Escaping Confinement

Escaping Homelessness

Escaping Invaders

Finding Friendship or Companionship

Finding a Lifelong Partner

Having a Child

Helping a Loved One See They Are Hurting Themselves and Others

Obtaining Shelter From The Elements

Overcoming Abuse and Learning To Trust

Overcoming Addiction

Protecting One’s Home or Property

Pursuing Justice For Oneself or Others

Realizing a Dream

Reconciling with an Estranged Family Member

Rescuing a Loved One From a Captor

Restoring A Name or Reputation

Righting a Deep Wrong

Seeking Out One’s Biological Roots

Stopping an Event From Happening

Trying Again When One Has Previously Failed

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silver-quick · 8 years ago

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Resources For Describing Characters

Physical Appearance

Arms

Athletic Build

Back

Butts

Cheeks

Chest

Chins

Curvy Build

Ears

Eyebrows

Eyes

Faces

Facial Hair

Feet

Fingernails

Fingers

Hair

Hands

Head

Hips

Jaws

Knees

Legs

Lips

Muscular Build

Neck

Noses

Shoulders

Slender Build

Sickly Build

Skin

Stocky Build

Stomach

Teeth

Toenails

Toes

Underweight Build

Character Traits

Affectionate

Ambitious

Bossy

Brave

Calm

Cautious

Charismatic

Clever

Conceited

Courageous

Creative

Critical

Curious

Determined

Diplomatic

Dishonest

Disorganized

Eccentric

Excitable

Friendly

Funny

Generous

Glamorous

Guarded

Honest

Impulsive

Independent

Intelligent

Just

Kind

Loyal

Manipulative

Mature

Modest

Mysterious

Naïve

Optimistic

Prejudiced

Persistent

Proper

Responsible

Sensitive

Sentimental

Serious

Shy

Reckless

Stingy

Stubborn

Talented

Thoughtful

Thrifty

Visionary

Wise

Witty

Worry Wart

Wounded

Talents & Skills

A Knack for Languages

A Knack for Making Money

A Way with Animals

Archery

Astral Projection

Astrological Divination

Baking

Basic First Aid

Blending In

Carpentry

Charm

ESP (Clairvoyance)

Empathy

Enhanced Hearing

Enhanced Sense of Smell

Enhanced Taste Buds

Farming

Fishing

Foraging

Gaining the Trust of Others

Gaming

Gardening

Good Listening Skills

Haggling

Herbalism

Hospitality

Hot-Wiring a Car

High Pain Tolerance

Knife Throwing

Knowledge of Explosives

Lip-Reading

Lying

Making People Laugh

Mechanically Inclined

Mentalism

Mimicking

Multitasking

Musicality

Organization

Parkour

Photographic Memory

Predicting the Weather

Promotion

Psychokinesis

Reading People

Regeneration

Repurposing

Sculpting

Self-Defense

Sewing

Sharpshooting

Sleight-of-Hand

Strategic Thinking

Strong Breath Control

Super Strength

Survival Skills

Swift-footedness

Talking With The Dead

Throwing One’s Voice

Whittling

Wilderness Navigation

Wrestling

Elemental Abilities

Miscellaneous

Voices

Voice Types

Speech Patterns

Speech Impediment

List of Character Flaws

List of Archetypes

Hairstyles

Describing Body Types & How They Move Around

Secrets To Give Your Character

Support Wordsnstuff!

Request A Writing Help Post/Themed Playlist/Writing Tips!

Send Me Poetry To Feature On Our Instagram!

Receive Updates & Participate In Polls On Our Twitter!

Like us and share on Facebook!

Read More On Our Masterlist & See our Frequently Asked Questions!

Tag What You Want Me To See With #wordsnstuff!

Participate in monthly writing challenges!

#writing #writing resources

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