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[sizzlyybacon]

CINAR

summary- gross flirty creepy 6th grader

(he said he wanted his gf to have touch recognition undies..)

WE SENT HIM A PIC OF A BIG BOOTY LATINAAA

i accepted his add request on snap and he said send pic bitch so i sent him a picture of a random girl and fiona told him that i was berit and i was 6 ft tall. i said i was a DOMMY MOMMY.

[sizzlyybacon]

MR BEACH YOU WANNABE MAN

HE DID THE SLICKBACK.

HE ALSO SLICK BACKED HIS HAIR FOR HALLOWEEN.

he said it was annoying his wife was from columbia because it meant they had to go there twice a year.

he got hard when he walked by my classmate sitting at my table. (sydnee, yara, euan)

i told he wasn't hip with the kids. he replied "oh really? what do i need to do to be hip with the kids?" i told him he needed to get that skibidi rizz.

he saw my old hydro flask and asked me if i was a #vscogirl, #skskskks

[sizzlyybacon]

bathrooms

someone stuck a bloody pad on the wall.

people throw bloody tampons at each other.

pee is always on the seats.

girls hide and gossip. april glared at me.

people use their phones.

people love rubbing their bodily fluids on the walls.

someone was sent to rehab and kicking out of our school for doing crack/smoking cigarettes/weed in the handicap stall.

the handicap stall broke because kids climbed over so many times.

we hid in the bathroom when ms. jennings chased us.

we did each other's makeup in the bathroom while talking and laughing.

we made friends in the bathroom.

someone drew jojo siwa over the entire door with the lyrics to karma in a bubble next to her.

there are penises drawn all over the walls.

olivia tried to pierce her nose with a thumbtack from the office's bulletin board of summer camps.

there are no more menstrual products.

people gave each other haircuts in the bathroom.

a urinal flooded everywhere in the upstairs boys bathroom.

the upstairs boys bathroom was the place where milo lit a trash can on fire.

everything goes down in the middle school bathrooms.

[sizzlyybacon]

LOLZERS! IM JUST A CLIUMSY LITTLE BEAN!! UWUU!!

i was hiding underneath the board in front of pride store, i got stuck, and then i face planted into the ground the the sign board thingy on top of me 😭

our band substitute put every single percussion instrument away. so i decided to start a scavenger hunt. i was the first to find all the instruments because i opened the storage closet. it was huge in there so we climbed around a bit to explore. soi made an obstacle course where you get up on the bass drum, slide/roll off, climb over the desks, then step anywhere on the conga bridge then jump off into the middle of the broken violin bows onto the old sugar cookie crumbs. i did all of these steps, but when it came to the conga part, i slipped, knocking over all the congas and falling into them.

[sizzlyybacon]

Hot Milk with a side of Cacophony

we had extra hot cocoa powder from our advisory win, we won a door decorating contest so our teacher, ms. goodell, gave us hot cocoa packets and boiled some water. it was really good. but then in band class me and soi were a little bored so we decided to make chocolate milk!!! we got my water bottle, then we found out there wasn't enough water, so i got my pass signed to go to the hall and some more, and then we poured the hot cocoa powder into the water. it tasted HORRIBLE. but we made chocolate milk so we're automatically more successful than everybody else in band. hoo ha! take that!

[sizzlyybacon]

479 SHENANIGANS..

THEIR BUS CRASHED AND HIT A CAR THAT HAD A WOMAN INSIDE... AND THEN SOME KID THREW THE BROOM OUT THE WINDOW ONTO HER CAR..

[sizzlyybacon]

Dante's Tales! (A collection of the most iconic Dante stories.)

dante is basically this super gross, evil, mean, disgusting kid who has NO FUCKING SENSE OF ETHICS. all the teachers defend him even when he's wrong with the excuse, "it's just anger issues, it's not his fault he can't control them!" mf, anger issues are not an excuse to assault your classmates!!??

dante threw a chair at abdullah in period 1 math and abdullah got in trouble. jordan asked him wtf he was doing and why he did it. dante lunged at jordan and hit him. jordan got in trouble. mr. beach yelled at us for bullying dante.

dante got into a fist fight with leo p. in period 2 science because leo made a "mean" joke that wasn't even directed with him. ms. goodell cancelled our break and made every witness step into the hall and tell her about what happened. something i heard from salinger was that dante has had anger issues since KINDERGARTEN.

i asked him why he wasn't doing his summative test in period 1 math and he replied with "i don't wanna," i told him that he really should because we had 10 minutes left of class and this test was worth HALF OF OUR GRADE. he got angry and tried wrapping his charger's cord around my NECK. i shoved him off of me and told the teacher, mr. beach, who replied to me with. "well you're fine, right? so it doesn't matter."

again, in period 1 math, dante started JERKING OFF next to colton. (he sits at my table) we were all super uncomfortable and grossed out. he started grabbing our stuff and rubbing it down his pants. he stuck EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. HIS. FINGERS. in his nose and wiped boogers and sick drippy snot all over our table.

he broke multiple glass beakers in ms. goodell's science classroom during period 2 science because she asked him to stop leaning on his chair.

idk what it was but he chased harlan and etienne in p4 band and p3 p.e.

dante threw his whole ass TROMBONE at me when i said "get back to work blud!!"

crown jewel on top, we were getting our music for band. jack was talking with his friend and said, "imagine not getting the stegosaurus part!" as a joke. apparently, dante didn't get it either because he got really mad and ran after jack. he CHOKED him in his seat. jack was turning more purple than his shirt and the teacher did nothing. everyone was screaming for help and that's when mr. van bebber SLOWLY walked up to them and tried to pull dante off, using no effort. while jack was gasping for air, mr. van bebber threw everyone off by LAUGHING. "Boy, Dante sure is strong! Don't mess with him, even I had a hard time pulling him off."

[sizzlyybacon]

let it burn let it burn

MORE FIREEE 🔥🔥

this happened the day after the axe incident but i had no motivation to write it so here u guys go now 💗💗

it was passing period and for some reason one particular spot in the hall just completely REEKED of smoke. we didn't think much of it because.. middle school. EVERYBODY is vaping in there. (gotta love destroying ur lungs at age 11-14 😘😘) well, after passing period was over, everybody went to their 3rd period, (it was thursday block day meaning we have periods 1, 3, and 5, for 2 hours each), mine being world language. in the middle of class when we were playing that goofy game where you describe a drawing and ur friend tries to draw it the same way, the fire alarm just started BLARING. on the way out the smoke smell was even worse than before. when we were outside in the field my classmate and friend miles came running up to me and said, "i know what happened! someone lit the boy's bathroom trash can on fire!!" no way was he telling the truth. it was probably a false alarm again. like 30 minutes later so much smoke just ROSE from our building. it was dumping. kids were cheering, "HELL YEAHH!!!!! LET'S BURN THIS MF DOWN!!!!! FUCK SCHOOL!! FUCK MS. JENNINGS!!!" and then when THREE. i repeat THREE firetrucks came over, a collective boo just rang out across the crowd 💀 after putting the fire out, everybody was allowed back inside. we all covered our noses with our shirts because y'know we didn't want to inhale burning matter. (well, some kids didn't). we went back to our advisories and i just sat eating spicy chips with my friends imani, avery, yara, anami, and elise. ms. goodell, my advisory teacher, handed us a bunch of other snacks while we gossiped about who we thought it was. (it WAS actually true that someone set the trash can on fire.) then that's when we heard over the intercom, "MILO ______! COME TO THE OFFICE!" and he was suspended for a week.

[sizzlyybacon]

this school man 💀

the fire alarm went off and everybody stood outside in the cold for 40+ minutes while the firetruck came, turned out some kid named marcos put a rubber band around the top of some axe body spray and let it loose in the boy's bathroom. the smoke detector went off since axe has chemicals in it that mimic smoke. aaaaaand then the fire alarm went off.

[sizzlyybacon]

failed griddy

i went to the bathroom and as im coming back elise is outside the library door waiting for me. preston is getting water from the water fountain a couple feet infront of us. "pookie! come here!" she shouts to me, earning a side eye from preston. i walk over and as preston is leaving i shout "hit the griddy!!!" i get hit with the most disgusted side eye. ok bro ok

[sizzlyybacon]

fine white powders

me soi and euan crushed up sugar cookies and sold them to ezra 💀 some eighth graders on the bus threw a bag of pink powder at me and my friend... 😬

destined gave us a tray of sugar that used to be filled with marshmallows, elise snorted the sugar and ate the half eaten marshmallow that a 7th grader gave us 🤢

[sizzlyybacon]

rip tristan's eyes...

long story short tristan put like 10 pumps of hand sanitizer in his eyes as a "joke" because elise was doing cringy tiktok dances, he had to go to the hospital

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rip soren's head...

we were in library, there's this little shelf on a wall that has a heater connected to the back of it and there's a beanbag to the side of it. elise invented a game where you put a book on one side of the beanbag and jump on the other side with your knees and the goal is to make the book land on the shelf right side up. she got it perfectly the first time and then mr. brickett walked over, "oh lord, what are you doing now.. do you even have books checked out...??" "no but watch this!" elise positions the book and jumps. the book flies smack into her face. he rolls his eyes, "whatever.." as he walks away we hear him mutter "dumb dumb dummy dumb dumb..." we're cackling our heads off already but then soren decides to try. she jumps down to far forward and slams her head into the CONCRETE wall, gets smacked in the face by the book, falls over, and the book lands on her face. (again...) suraya comes rushing over "OMG SOREN ARE YOU OK!?!?!" soren is dying of laughter

[sizzlyybacon]

this was the flask...... 😭 (below it is the clipboard)

[sizzlyybacon]

trey's backpack part 2

he crouches to put his music folder in his backpack and sees that his papers and everything else is fingered through and open. somehow he just shrugs it off, closes it, and puts it on. i'm panicking because he's giving me the side eye while setting the percussion instruments back up. austin, the percussionist to the far left of me, previously to the left of soi is giving me the "uh oh.." smile and euan is smirking and laughing. my friends are giving me terrified looks. eventually trey and the other percussionists leave and i let out a big sigh of relief. i stand up because mr. van bebber is instructing us to play and that's when i notice every drum they touched is completely soaked. what the actual hell.

[sizzlyybacon]

trey's backpack part 1

we were in band class with a substitute who didn't speak much english, because of this she didn't take attendance. a ton of kids sat where they weren't supposed to, including my friend elise who pulled up in the percussion section to the right to me. my other friend soi was to the left of me. my friend euan was in front of me. we were chilling when suddenly we noticed a backpack with a tutta bella hat attached to it. we left it alone at first and continued talking. the sub got angry and said in broken english "me cut you up if you keep speak. you go to corners." (i'll split you all up if you keep talking and you'll all go to different corners of the room.) i sat up straight, "my greatest apologies, fine madam. we shall be good children from now on. thank you for being such an attentive and responsible teacher." i said, earning a laugh from everybody. after she walks away we can't control the impulsive thoughts and we bolt to the backpack dragging it over to our seats. we open it and read the laptop. (every laptop has a name tag on it) to find out who it belongs to. it's one of the percussionists from the other band, travis, who goes by trey. i was the only one who recognized the name. this was because me and my friend miracle saw him on the halloween dance. we were going up to people screaming at them to rate her nails. (pieces of tape stuck onto her nails, her costume was a basic white girl, she had an oversized tee, shorts so short you couldn't see them, a hydro flask, lip gloss, and way too much mascara which we helped her to apply.) trey was one of the kids we went up to. we found him accidentally because we found a giant tootsie roll on the ground that we started running towards, and he slid in and grabbed it first. she grabbed him by the shirt and screamed at him to rate her nails. he shrieked and started running. after chasing him down he started fake crying and handed over the tootsie roll to us, but that wasn't what we were asking for. he gave up and said "they're ugly, 0/10!" she SCREAMED and grabbed him. after screaming in his face for a solid minute she let him go. (back to the real story now) i laughed and we looked through the other stuff. it was relatively normal (except for the fact that the entire backpack was sticky and smelled terrible..), a mychron stopwatch, a clipboard that opened up to store other papers that we'd look at later, his laptop, his laptop case, full of trash, and 5 decks of disney villain cards, not gonna question that. but then we stumbled upon the last thing. a FLASK. like the ALCOHOL FLASKS. we opened it and it smelled like wine. the flask was completely covered in this weird clear sticky goo. that was all over our hands now. eughhhhh. it was only 1/4 full meaning either that was the reason behind the sticky stinky backpack or he had chugged 3/4 of it. either way its a yikes. we went through his weird clipboard storage thing to find a paper with his grades printed on it. all ies. (an ie is the same as an f in my school) the rest were music sheets and pieces of paper with weird scribbles and dicks drawn all over them. i'm not gonna judge you man. the teacher comes up and asks us what we're doing. i tell her the backpack belongs to my "brother" and he asked me to get something from it for him. it backfired on her for not doing attendance because she couldn't see that me and trey's last names aren't the same, then, elise suddenly says "imagine he comes in and sees us with his backpack." and of course, the door bursts open. our band teacher mr. van bebber is back from the field trip with the rest of the intermediate band. with trey RIGHT behind him. he looked at us since we're right across from the door but thankfully not at the bag. elise shoves everything back in and tosses the bag without closing it to the side and runs back to the french horn section ditching me and soi. soi runs the bag back to the corner to its original pose. she dips and runs to the timpani. i can't mess with it anymore because trey is too close.

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END OF SEMESTER WAS THURSDAY LAST WEEK