skyadel

[skyadel]

The Boy Behind the Armor

My big boy dreams big,

My big boy bets everything.

My big boy gives the sweetest kisses,

But leaves a bitter sting.

My big boy doesn’t love his coily hair—

So I’ll love it for him, with a mother’s flair.

My big boy holds a gun with ease,

But in his eyes I see confined tears.

He knows his tanks, his rifles, drills,

But can’t tell how unconditional love feels.

He wears six golden stars with pride,

Lined like constellations on either side.

Soldiers lift their hands in salute—

But I know where he fractures mute.

He likes when I hum him lullabies:

Do Do Sol Sol La La Sol.

My big boy plays with fire—

Do Do Sol Sol La La Sol.

Hell is not a lovely place for your soul.

Hold my hand—I’ll guide you home.

My big boy takes, but never gives.

I want him to smile, to love, to live.

He fell out of love—but it’s okay.

I hold no grudge. I hope he finds his way.

You told me at thirty, you’d have life figured out.

But baby—

All that glitters is not gold.

You’re capable—of that, I have no doubt.

But life doesn’t unfold at your command,

The way I once gave in with no demand.

I’m an Atlantean, drifting below.

You wear your armor around your heart.

Love may cut—but steel cuts through.

If you had dared to lay it down,

I’d trade a lung so you don’t drown.

I’d teach you how to breathe below—

But love, you never let me show.

All the lovable parts of you, you never saw.

You never believed any I love you I ever said.

Because you never loved yourself.

As truthful as I was to you,

I was deceitful in your eye.

You weren’t drowning—you were falling,

And I couldn’t fly.

And now—

No matter how much I’ve loved you,

I’m only as little as twenty and two.

I can’t be your salvation.

I’m just a young child of the ocean.

With your heart of steel—

The tide line is where it ends.

In a deep blue embrace, I heal.

You knew how to bend, not how to tend.

Farewell.

You could only be my big boy—

But I need a man, a partner, a friend.

To be his little girl—his peace, his phoenix flame,

A mother, a lover—and for him to love me the same.

I no longer feel pain when hearing your name.

You shattered me, but now I’m whole—

Ready for love,

Ready to give my all

To the one who’s deemed worthy.

You spared me no mercy—

So I grant you no more warmth.

I used to walk, bowed by love’s weight.

Now I rise, spine straight,

Head high in my own dawnlight.

And you won’t be the one

I kiss good night—

Not the hush in my lullaby.

You wanted to fly

With no wings,

and a heart as heavy

as mourning the lost.

But I’m too young to die.

If you say jump i won’t say how high

I could only reach so far

Not as far as my name imply

You won’t be the fire

I welcome under the sheets.

The one who stays will lie

Chest to chest with me—

Lullabies pulsing in our heartbeats.

And we’ll be weightless in the sea.

It aches that it had to end this way,

But peace begins where you could not stay.

You were my storm—

He’ll be my light of day.

[skyadel]

sky adel - forget me not

Staring at a stone.

All that's left is bone.

Can't see you at the moon

or the stars.

Yeah, all that's left are scars.

No memories...

Frozen heart.

Dozen blue Scorpion Grasses.

I love it, but how would you know?

Left them on the stone.

I thought, behind you, I'd feel warm.

All that's left is bone -

no! I'm what's left of you.

...

I heard stories about a guy

who dies at the end

won't we all ?

He chose to fail his class and repeat the year

to try harder to become an engineer.

He had a dream and took a leap of faith,

then found his place

and graduated college,

i was told he was a sucker for knowledge.

found a woman to carry his children

then bury his dead body

after a birthday party.

Yeah, it was my birthday party.

I was four the first time I felt sore.

i got into the Same college.

Growing up, I was a sucker for knowledge, curious.

how hideous was it !?

To be a part of a missing puzzle.

...

how far is the sky !?

And how tall am I?

Too high, too high for me!

My body is too heavy to fly,

but someday I'll die

and lose all this weight,

and that day I know I won't be alone; you'll wait... I know you'll be waiting.

Let's meet at the stone,

till then I'll keep smiling.

I have your smile, so I'll keep smiling.

I'll keep shining;

maybe you'll spot my s.o.s light

and visit my dreams at night,

tell me what heaven is like.

it's not about heaven.

It's about your voice;

I wanna know what it's like.

mom says you have a soft tone.

You are not gone for good.

you didn't miss my childhood.

You were here all along.

now I feel your soul -

Not angry anymore... I'm not angry anymore.

I'm not feeling sore.

you're here, and I know

the love of a child can conquer death.

the sand can take what belongs to it

but I'll never forget.

[skyadel]

sky adel - childhood

1 2 3 they don't like me

4 5 6 hold the knife and don't resist

7 8 9 there is no point in tryin-

10 11 12 go kill yourself

I'm leaving this world with a stone with a name

I'm leaving just like I came

nothing will remain of me

maybe I'll be a fertilizer for a tree

I believe in God

I don't believe in destiny

I've done nothing

just keep giving up

keep giving up

I'm partially a human

I'm hardly alive

I see my blood covering my hand

from the cuts I made

I don't understand

why I do this

in my life

nothing goes as planned

so I stopped planning & as so I'm ruining it all

life doesn't have mercy

for those who fall

but what makes it worthy to stand?

she should have done

and he should have stayed

but he is gone and her love is too late

no one takes responsibility

of my insanity

I was an odd kid

needed more effort to communicate with

instead, I was Marginalized

didn't realized it till I became a teenage

my anger was kept in a cage

so, I was a troubled teen

with a wide imagination to lean on

now, they want me awake

now, they want me to communicate

what part of ‘it's too late’ you don't understand?

I was collapsing and you stood still

I'm going through hell every night my insecurity gets too loud

my thoughts are taking over me

and if I shut them out it gets too lonely

my life became pointless

I'm getting my ashes from the flames

I don't remember ever being a whole

always felt like a Lost soul

thought a Prince will come waving his sword fighting my monsters

it's just stories we are told

I'm trying to hold on to hope

trying to cope

just throw me a rope

I can't fix me by myself

I won't ask for help, so text me when you are free

[skyadel]

~sky adel~