My journal of dreams and the meanings they leave behind. đ¤main account: MidnightDreamer-Poemsđ¤
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"Waiting for the Musical Train"
I dreamt my family was going on a train ride.
I didnât know where or when...
we were all just waiting for it to arrive.
A sign said it would be a two-to-five-hour trip.
I asked my husband if we had time to go back
and gather some blankets and pillows.
So we went home to get some.
The blankets and pillows were dirty,
covered in hair,
but we grabbed them anyway.
When we returned to the train station and waited,
I noticed a sign with headphones and music notes.
My husband told me to look at the notes.
He explained that through the ride,
each bump of the train
would strike a different octave.
He told me to listen.
But I couldnât hear anything,
because we werenât in motion.
While we waited, a fight broke out.
Two old men.
One was trying to be an '80s hair band singer.
He acted completely unhinged.
They tumbled on the ground,
hitting and wrestling.
The psychotic one was naked.
Unfortunately, he won.
The other man was left defeated.
Our train never came.
We just continued to wait.
âđâTranslationâđâ
Theme Overview:
This dream appears to reflect delayed transformation, emotional stagnation, and the discomfort of preparing for a journey that never begins. It carries feelings of anticipation, futility, and chaos lurking beneath the surface of ordinary moments.
Symbol-by-Symbol Interpretation:
1. Waiting for the Train
Trains in dreams often symbolize lifeâs journeys, transitions, or personal growth.
Here, youâre prepared to goâbut the destination is unknown, and the timing unclear.
This suggests a sense of limbo, as if youâre ready for change or forward movement in your life, but something is stalling it.
The train station becomes a metaphor for waiting rooms in your mindâspaces where your hopes, fears, and plans linger, unfulfilled.
2. Going Back for Dirty Blankets and Pillows
Blankets and pillows represent comfort, rest, emotional security.
The fact that they are dirty and covered in hair may reflect unresolved issues or emotional baggage from the pastâthings you still try to hold onto, even knowing theyâre unclean or carry remnants of old experiences.
You bring them anyway, showing both a sense of practicality and the inability to fully cleanse what you carry emotionally.
3. The Music Notes and Octaves
This is a deeply symbolic moment. Music often reflects emotional resonance, harmony, or unseen forces guiding our path.
Your husband tells you that each bump in the train ride plays a different noteâsuggesting that every difficulty in life creates a different emotional tone.
But you canât hear the music, because youâre not moving.
This symbolizes how growth, beauty, and understanding only arrive through experience and motionâbut here, youâre stuck in the silence of waiting.
4. The Fight Between Two Old Men
This strange, theatrical fight might represent clashing inner voices or outdated archetypes.
One man, naked and psychotic, wants to be an â80s rockstarâa symbol of unhinged rebellion or a distorted identity longing for attention or power.
The other man, perhaps more grounded, loses.
This could reflect a part of you feeling defeated by chaos or absurdity, or the way irrational forces can sometimes overpower reason or control in moments of limbo.
5. The Train Never Arrives
The most haunting part of the dream.
You remain stuck in a place of preparation, surrounded by conflict and faded dreams, waiting for movement that never comes.
This could mirror a real-life feeling of being stalledâemotionally, spiritually, creativelyâor feeling like time is passing while you wait for permission to begin.
Core Messages:
You are prepared for somethingâbut the universe is not cooperating.
Emotional baggage is still being carried, even when you recognize its weight.
Art, emotion, and purpose are only awakened by motionâyou may need to take a leap, even before the path is clear.
Not all chaos is yours to solve. Let absurdities fall away.
Closing Reflection:
This dream isnât just about frustration.
Itâs a message: You donât need the perfect train to start moving.
Sometimes the journey begins not when the whistle blows,
but when you choose to walk the tracks yourself.
3/30/25
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"Raining Fire and a Curse"
I dreamt we were loading a bus to nowhere and everywhere
The man who led us was quiet but known,
a guide for the old souls boarding with heavy steps
Then fire bloomed without warning
The bus became a furnace,
but inside, no one knew
Ash and lava fell from the sky
and we could only stand there,
helpless beneath its quiet rage
Later, we stood by another bus
Beside it, a house stood hollow
Smoke-stained and silent,
once home to that same man and his wife
Now she was goneâburned in her sleep
The house became a museum
and a guide spoke softly, like not to wake the ghosts
She said an ember had found its home
behind a picture hanging over the fireplace
A picture of the wife
and when I looked at it
his face would fade over hers
then hers over his
like neither could bear to be remembered alone
I told my cousin about it
She said she had once burned the world by accident
In a fit of grief she struck the ground
and the earth opened its mouth
Flames swallowed eight mothers walking by
and she never understood why
In the last flicker of the dream
I watched a plane drift over the ocean
Its wings calm in the wind
I told my grandmother I wished to fly
not just over lakes, not just over hours
but beyond...
across the endless sea
where sky and water forget they are separate
đâđ Interpretation đâđ
This dream feels like a mythic unfolding of grief, destruction, and transformationâlayered with generational emotion and a deep yearning for transcendence. Here's an interpretation, weaving its symbols and moments into meaning:
The Bus on Fire
The bus represents a collective journeyâperhaps through life, aging, or mortalityâguided by an authority figure or someone representing tradition or leadership. The fire starting unnoticed could symbolize how danger, decay, or death often creeps in quietly while people continue forward, unaware. You witnessing it from the outside might speak to a feeling of being aware of impending loss or destruction while others are blind to itâor a helplessness to stop it.
Ash and Lava Raining from the Sky
This apocalyptic imagery suggests emotional overwhelm, possibly from grief or trauma. Ash is whatâs left when something is gone, while lava is destruction in motion. The sky bringing it down implies a sense of fate or divine reckoningâsomething bigger than you raining its consequences over all.
The Burned House and the Picture
The house reflects personal historyâdomestic life, love, and memory. That it too burns, and that the manâs wife dies in the fire, speaks to loss of intimacy, home, or emotional safety. The picture over the fireplace fading between their faces is hauntingâit shows identity melting into grief, the way memories of a person and their partner intertwine so tightly that one cannot be remembered without the other. It may also reflect your thoughts on love, legacy, or how we survive in the memories of those we leave behind.
Your Cousin's Story
Her strange confessionârage causing fire and deathâintroduces guilt and the mystery of unintended consequences. Maybe it reflects buried emotions or ancestral pain, suggesting that strong emotions passed down through generations can leave scars even when we donât understand their origin.
The Plane and the Sea
This final image is peaceful and aching. The plane represents freedom, desire for escape, or the wish to see beyond your current world. The sea is the unconscious, the vast unknown, the sacred unknown. Telling your grandmother you wish to fly over it speaks to your longing for emotional release, for spiritual transcendence, or maybe even to connect with something beyond the painâsomething infinite and clean, where grief no longer holds weight.
Overall:
This dream reads as a poetic elegy to unspoken trauma and inherited sorrow, but it ends with hope. Even after the fire and the ash, you look toward the sea. You dream of flying. Thatâs the soul still reachingâtoward healing, toward understanding, toward peace.
June 14th 2018
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"Ashes and Paper Notes"
I dreamt I wandered through a town of echoes
searching for my friendâs mother
or what was left of her
ashes scattered somewhere I couldn't reach
She had died not long ago
and I missed the chance to say goodbye
I called the silent places
funeral homes with names like endings
but no one knew where she had gone
Then I saw my friend behind a podium
a hush in the air
as she spoke her mother into memory
She held a pinch of ash in trembling fingers
and when the wind came
she let it carry the weight away
Peace settled in my chest
The ashes were hers now
Down cracked sidewalks and hollow alleys
I found Taylor alone, drifting
Her body was thin light
skin like paper
eyes swollen with things she couldnât say
(In waking life she leans on shadows
to dull the pain of her fatherâs death)
In the dream she whispered
that cancer lived inside her
She could barely stand
her breath the softest sound
I found torn magazines
scattered like fallen leaves
On the backs her notes
one said the cancer had stopped
another said it hadnât
Hope and fear pressed side by side
in fading ink.
đâđ Interpretation đâđ
This dream reads like a powerful subconscious processing of grief, helplessness, and emotional distanceâfrom both others and yourself. Here's a thoughtful interpretation, line by line with deeper meaning woven in:
Searching for the ashes
Your attempt to find your friendâs motherâs ashes reflects unresolved feelingsâpossibly guilt or sorrowâfor not being present during a moment of loss. Ashes are symbolic of what remains after transformation or destruction. Not being able to find them might symbolize the search for closure or peace that feels just out of reach.
Your friend behind the podium
Seeing your friend sharing memories shows a moment of quiet acceptance, her being able to let goâliterally, with the ashes in her handâwhile you observe from a distance. This might reflect your feeling of being emotionally on the sidelines, witnessing someone elseâs grief but not fully inside it.
Letting the wind take the ashes
This suggests surrender. The wind symbolizes change, inevitability, or even a spiritual force. The release of ashes brings a sense of calm to youâitâs a turning point in the dream, where ownership of grief is recognized and honored, not chased.
Taylor, sick and wandering
Taylorâs appearance as frail and sickly might mirror your concern for her in real life. But deeper still, she could represent a vulnerable part of yourselfâexhausted by loss, carrying invisible pain, unsure whether healing is happening or if itâs all still there.
Her notes on torn magazine pages
This is powerful. Torn magazines suggest impermanence, fragility, and perhaps a struggle to hold onto clarity. The conflicting messagesâcancer stopped vs still thereâmirror a larger emotional duality: hope vs fear, healing vs deterioration. Maybe youâre holding onto mixed signals from your own life or those around you, not knowing what is truly âgetting better.â
Overall Meaning:
This dream is rich in emotional symbolism. It suggests that you are carrying not only your own grief but also othersââperhaps trying to care for friends who are broken while trying to make sense of your own pain. Thereâs a longing for closure and clarity, and a deep empathy that makes you feel everything at once. The dream shows a soul in transition, moving slowly toward acceptance but still grappling with the weight of not knowing.
June 11th 2018
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"Small Moon Houses, And Growing Skyscrapers"
I was standing high above a strange city,
on the roofs of silver towers that shimmered beneath an unfamiliar sky.
I crouched down, grounding myself in effort,
my legs pressing hard against invisible gravity
as I tried to lift the buildings higher,
to pull their foundations up from the buried dust of a lifeless world.
Beneath the surface,
hidden under layers of lunar soil,
were houses no larger than washing machines.
Metal boxes just big enough to crawl into
and press your body tight
knees against chest
arms wrapping around your own heartbeat
like insulation against the void.
People lived in them.
They folded themselves into those cramped spaces
choosing containment over emptiness,
choosing walls small enough to feel safe.
And then I remembered
we were on the Moon.
This place had no air,
no softness,
no real sky.
And yet
there were storms.
Violent weather moved across the surface
waves crashing in from nowhere
colliding with houses and towers alike
as if the Moon had learned to weep like Earth.
Water rose in great, howling surges
slamming into the fragile machine homes
shaking the skyscrapers from below.
I watched,
silent and still,
as if caught between awe and dread.
I wondered how they survived,
why they chose to stay.
Then I heard a voice
my own voice
but distant and strange
soft with clarity.
Let them choose to stay.
They have the right to live or die on this world
even if it was never made for them.
The dream shifted.
A courtroom appeared,
not built of walls,
but woven from tension and hush.
There had been a man
a rapist
who had violated the women living in the tiny homes.
His crimes whispered through the shadows
but no one dared to speak.
I stood with a woman
who looked like Beth from Dog the Bounty Hunter
but she was weary
and her eyes carried a grief I could not name.
She knew the truth
but she wanted to disappear
to return to her machine house
to fold herself small and silent.
I sat beside her
spoke gently
offered her something simple
something absurd.
A new shirt.
Just a shirt.
A soft fabric to remind her
that her body deserved comfort.
She paused
then nodded.
She stood in front of the lawyers
opened her mouth
and told the truth.
Her voice became a key
and the man who had stolen so many
was taken away
locked inside something even smaller than the homes he haunted.
We had won
not for vengeance
but for air
for the right to expand
to grow
to live
in a place that had never been meant for survival.
And somewhere in that strange city
one of the washing machine houses
stood just a little taller than before.
âđâ Interpretation âđâ
This dream, vivid and layered, unfolds like an allegoryâinterweaving power, trauma, survival, and autonomy. Letâs break down the symbolic elements and explore what your subconscious might be communicating.
1. Skyscrapers and Physical Strain
Youâre trying to make skyscrapers grow by physically squatting and lifting their foundations. This symbolizes a desire to elevate structuresâyourself, your beliefs, your worldâbut through personal effort and sacrifice. It suggests that you may be feeling responsible for holding things up that were never meant to be carried alone. The skyscrapers could be your dreams, justice, healing, or your role in supporting others.
2. Tiny Homes like Washing Machines
Beneath the surface are homes just big enough for people to crawl into. These âwashing machine housesâ are a powerful metaphor for compression, repression, and survival. People in your dream are literally folding themselves into small, confined spaces to exist.
This could reflect:
How people shrink themselves to survive abuse or harsh environments
Your awareness of emotional or societal pressure to "fit" into roles that are too small
A memory or commentary on how trauma makes people small to stay safe
3. The Moon and Violent Weather
The Moon is the realm of the subconscious, the feminine, intuition, and emotional tides. To live there suggests youâre in a psychic or emotional space far from earthly logic. Itâs a strange, alien world that still mirrors human chaos.
The violent waves and storms speak to emotional upheaval, trauma resurfacing, or collective danger. These waves crash into fragile homesâindicating that no matter how much people try to protect themselves, the environment is unstable. You, the dreamer, recognize that this is not a safe place to live emotionally or spiritually.
4. The Inner Voice: Let Them Choose
Your inner voice saying âLet them choose to stay. They have the right to live or die on this planetâ is complex and layered. It may represent:
The tension between wanting to rescue others and recognizing their autonomy
A reflection on generational trauma, systemic injustice, or social suffering
Your own boundaries: the understanding that not everyone is ready or willing to leave pain behind
This is a moment of both release and wisdomâa sign of spiritual maturity, knowing that you canât force healing on those who arenât ready.
5. The Trial and the Rapist
This part of the dream is heavy, but incredibly significant. It brings forward themes of justice, advocacy, and speaking truth after violation.
The rapist represents a violator of innocence, safety, and voiceâwhether literal or metaphorical. He lives among the oppressed, shielded by silence. The women are afraid to speak up, reflecting real-world patterns of abuse, fear, and systems that fail survivors.
Your role in building a case, and convincing the woman (who resembles Beth from Dog the Bounty Hunter) to speak, shows your inner strength and commitment to protecting the vulnerable, even when they are afraid to act.
The fact that she is persuaded by something as small and intimate as a shirt symbolizes the power of compassion, comfort, and agency in healing.
Overall Themes:
Carrying the weight of others' healing
The tension between safety and suppression
Justice and the courage to confront what others fear
Autonomy, choice, and the limitations of intervention
Transforming vulnerability into empowerment
Message of the Dream:
You are a protector, a builder, and a witness to both suffering and resilience. You are not here to save everyone, but to stand tall, to plant truth where fear once lived, and to remind others of their powerâeven if it begins with something as small as saying yes to a new shirt.
This dream reflects your deep intuition, your unflinching strength, and your wisdom to know when to help and when to let go.
(Jun 7th 2018)
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"Drowning at the Olympics"
I dreamt the Olympics were unfolding around me
not in a stadium
but in a surreal world where ritual and spectacle melted together.
A young girl raced past
her skin etched with tattoos like forgotten poems
her body made of speed and smoke
running not for victory
but to outrun something unseen.
Nearby, tables gleamed beneath strange light
offering supplements and drinks in elegant glass
wellness lined up like a promise
aloe vera tonics beside something unexpected
an aloe sausage, coiled and glossy like something alien.
My grandmother hovered over the table
eyeing the sausage with suspicion
refusing to eat the thing
even as the health instructor insisted
she could not cleanse herself
without swallowing both.
She muttered about dignity
and I drifted away, unconvinced
that healing required such compromise.
My husband appeared at my side
his hands full of paper tickets
thick and soft, like leaves from a fair that no longer existed.
He gave them to me without a word
as if he knew I would need them
even if I did not yet know why.
There was nothing around us
no booths, no games
only athletes in the middle of their quiet trials
swimmers moving like blades
archers watching the wind
runners disappearing into horizon lines.
To reach our seats
we had to cross water
a still body with the shape of a pool
but the depth of something older
something that remembered.
I still wore my clothes
held my art print in one hand
and the tickets in the other
as though they might dissolve
if I let them fall beneath the surface.
My husband was already across
waving to me
before turning and disappearing through a distant door.
So I stepped in.
The water welcomed me with a hush
a cold hand wrapping around my knees
then my ribs
then my neck.
I lifted the art over my head
raised the tickets high
trying to save the symbols
of beauty and permission.
But the water rose faster than I could rise with it
and then my brother was beside me
his fingers digging into my arms
pulling
panicking
we sank together like heavy prayers.
We screamed without sound
our mouths spilling bubbles
our eyes wide with helplessness
watching the surface flicker with unreachable light.
It was so close
but we could not swim.
đâ Interpretation âđ
Symbolic Interpretation:
1. The Tattooed Girl Running
She may represent your inner fireâcreative, determined, unbothered by rules. Tattoos are marks of memory, rebellion, or expression. She's your instinct running free, untamed by expectations.
2. The Detox Dispute
Your grandmother's resistance to the aloe drink and sausage combo symbolizes resistance to healing that comes with discomfort. The health instructor insists on wholeness, on taking the good with the unpleasant. This moment questions: Can we heal if weâre only willing to accept half the process?
3. Tickets from Your Husband
Tickets suggest permission, opportunity, or access. Him giving you the tickets quietly hints at trust or responsibilityâhe believes in your journey, but leaves the crossing to you. There's a deep emotional undertone here about partnership and individual struggle.
4. The Water Crossing
Water always symbolizes emotion, the unconscious, and transformation. You're dressed in everyday clothes, not prepared for the crossing. You're trying to carry what mattersâyour art, your permission (the tickets)âbut the emotional depth becomes too much. Itâs a test of endurance and letting go.
5. Drowning with Your Brother
This part is powerful. You and your brother sinking together shows how shared fear or panic can overwhelm, even if the surface (hope, clarity, breath) is visible. Thereâs a message here about mutual struggle and entanglementâhow we sometimes pull each other down unintentionally, even when trying to help.
Core Themes:
Carrying too much while trying to survive
Resistance to full transformation
Unseen emotional pressure
The weight of saving others while needing saving
Art and meaning trying to stay afloat
(June 6th 2018)
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"Exercising, and Mobsters On My Bed"
I found myself running laps inside the house
not from ghosts or deadlines
but for the noble cause of shedding ten, maybe fifteen pounds.
My friends drifted around doorways like concerned librarians
whispering their disappointment
as if I'd just vowed to toss out all the good cheese.
Their silence was theatrical
like I'd offended an unspoken pact
to age gracefully with snacks.
The kitchen was a construction zone of broken promises.
Tiles half-laid, grout abandoned mid-thought
like the previous homeowners had gone out for caulk
and never returned.
I skipped around the uneven floor
feeling oddly athletic
for someone dodging a home improvement graveyard.
I paused at the window
where daylight draped itself across the glass like a sleepy cat.
Outside, ten trees stood in potted purgatory.
One was tropical, with drama in its leaves
clearly not from around here.
The others were spruce, stoic
patiently enduring their fate like polite guests
waiting for someone to offer them permanent soil.
I got the sense I'd promised them a home
then promptly forgotten
a metaphor that felt a little too on the nose.
Returning to the living room
I walked into a mob movie.
My bed had become a boardroom for suited men
arguing in hushed threats
as if HBO had set up shop in my personal sanctuary.
I froze.
This wasnât in the floor plan.
And then I saw her
my Bearded Dragon, cornered
trapped between Italian leather shoes
and bad intentions.
Her little mouth opened
a scream only I could hear.
She ran to me
her claws tapping like impatient castanets
and hurled herself into my hands
like a lizard version of a dramatic faint.
She crawled up my arm, trembling.
Thatâs when I noticed
she was tiny
not just smaller
but weirdly fun-sized
like someone had left her in the dryer too long.
I held her close
partly relieved
partly wondering if Iâd missed something vital
like feeding her
or perhaps months of emotional attention.
She stared at me like a disappointed aunt.
And suddenly
in a room full of mobsters and potted plants
I realized something deeper than any fitness goal
Maybe the remodeling wasnât just in the kitchen
Maybe I had a few unfinished corners of my own.
đâ Interpretation âđ
Yes, this dream is surreal, humorous, and symbolically richâlayered with themes of self-image, unfinished personal growth, protection, and inner tension. Letâs break it down:
1. Running to Lose Weight
You begin by exercising with a clear goalâlosing 10 to 15 pounds. This could be literal, but in dream language, it often symbolizes a desire to shed emotional weight, self-doubt, pressure, or expectations. The fact that your friends seem disappointed may reflect an inner conflict:
Are you changing something about yourself that others have grown comfortable with?
Are you afraid of losing something essential in the process of trying to âfixâ yourself?
Thereâs a quiet suggestion here: what are you trying to lose, and why does it make others uneasy?
2. The Unfinished Kitchen Tiles
The kitchen is the heart of nourishmentâemotional and physical. The unfinished remodeling speaks to areas of your life or identity that were started but never completed. This could relate to healing, self-work, creativity, or even domestic roles. You're running laps in a house that isnât fully settled, which suggests you're moving through life while still mid-construction, still trying to figure things out beneath the surface.
3. Trees in Pots
The trees are a beautiful symbolârooted things that havenât yet been planted. Ten of them, all waiting. One tropical, the others spruce.
The tropical tree represents something rare or exotic in youâcreative passion, emotional depth, or a part of your identity that doesnât âfitâ where it is now.
The spruce trees are steadier, protective, reliable. They may symbolize traditional roles or values, the parts of you that are grounded but still not fully rooted.
Altogether, they suggest growth thatâs been pausedâdreams, plans, or parts of your soul waiting for space to thrive.
4. Mobsters in the Bedroom
This is a stark, strange intrusionâsymbols of threat, control, and power taking up space on your bed, which represents intimacy, rest, and emotional safety.
These mobsters could be:
Internalized stress, negative thoughts, or unhealthy coping mechanisms
Outside forces (family pressure, fear, judgment) disrupting your peace
Conflicting voices inside you, demanding or threatening your calm
You're not their targetâbut your safe space is compromised.
5. The Bearded Dragon
Sheâs small, vulnerable, and corneredâyet she recognizes you and runs to you with trust and urgency. She symbolizes:
A fragile part of you youâre afraid might be getting hurt in the chaos
A deep intuition, instinct, or inner truth seeking protection
Even your creativity or passion for life thatâs been shrinking, neglected, or overlooked
Her being smaller than usual is powerful. It suggests that this part of you is still alive but diminished. She needs your attention. She needs you to remember her, care for her, claim her again.
Overall Message
This dream is a layered self-portrait of a woman in the middle of deep transformation. Youâre:
Trying to change or lighten some part of yourself
Confronting whatâs been left unfinished
Holding space for dreams you havenât yet planted
Realizing that external chaos has crowded out parts of your soul that need safety, gentleness, and nurturing
And in the end, youâre being called back by the very part of yourself youâve been too busy to notice.
Itâs a dream of reckoning, humor, and reclamation.
Something sacred is still alive in you. Itâs small nowâbut it remembers who you are.
(June 3rd 2018)
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"The Unclaimed Dog"
I dreamt of a house that breathed like an old soul,
tucked behind tall wooden fences
that groaned and swayed in the wind
like aging trees trying to remember their roots.
Inside that hushed sanctuary, I lived with my husband and daughter.
We moved through quiet rituals,
our days held gently, like bird bones wrapped in silk.
One late afternoon, we stood on the back porch
as golden light poured through the slats of the fence,
cutting the air into slow-moving ribbons.
The world felt distant beyond the barrier,
soft and blurred, like a memory half-forgotten.
A neighbor stepped out from the shadow of the house,
his expression tender, almost reverent.
He asked if we had seen a small white puppy,
one that had slipped into the world unclaimed.
I paused.
In the amber of memory, I saw it
a pale flash of fur darting past the hedges days ago
a flicker of life full of urgency and aimless joy.
I had watched it pass
assuming it belonged to someone
that it had a name, a place,
a hand waiting to scoop it up and carry it home.
So I let it go
believing that it knew where it was going.
Later, a group of children wandered up the path,
their voices breathless and thin,
woven with the kind of worry that only innocence can hold.
Have you seen it, they asked
and I felt a tremor move through me.
I said no
but mentioned the wild kudzu behind the church
where vines swallowed stone and secrets alike.
A place where things could disappear
and never be seen again.
The children exchanged glances
and in their silence, I began to feel it too.
The slow spread of unease
like dusk creeping into a quiet room.
Their fear clung to me
and somewhere deep inside
regret bloomed like a bruise.
Time slipped forward
each moment folding into the next like soft fabric.
The search became a low hum beneath the dream
a sound you donât hear so much as feel
in the hollow of your chest.
I stood once more on the porch
watching the wind stir the grass like a whisper.
And then I saw it
the fence, our line of safety
leaning, breaking, surrendering.
I called to my husband.
He came and lifted the sagging wood
his hands careful
as if lifting a veil or a buried truth.
Beyond it, the world waited
vast and open
and somehow lonelier than before.
As twilight descended
the neighbor returned
his face radiant with joy
as though he had plucked a miracle from the mouth of loss.
In his arms was the dog.
But it was no longer a puppy.
It had grown tall and elegant
its coat a river of white curls
its eyes unknowable, ancient
carrying the kind of silence that speaks of miles traveled
and names forgotten.
We rushed to greet it
our hearts swelling with wonder.
But it didnât reach for us.
It stood with quiet dignity
like something sacred that could not be held.
No child came to claim it.
No hand extended.
It stood in the space between belonging and wildness.
We told the man we couldnât take it.
We said the words softly
as if afraid of breaking something delicate.
We didnât have the room.
We didnât have the right.
And so the dog turned
without hesitation
and disappeared into the soft dark
unfenced
unburdened
free.
âđâ Interpretation âđâ
Of course, Shonna. Let's explore the symbolism and emotional tone of the dream you described (the one with the white puppy growing into a poodle and returning, only to leave again). Here's a deeper interpretation:
1. The House and the Tall Wooden Fences
The home represents your inner worldâyour family, your creative space, your sanctuary. The tall fences suggest boundaries youâve built to protect your peace or privacy, possibly emotional defenses or protective instincts as a mother and partner. But those boundaries arenât impenetrableâthey begin to fall later in the dream, which is significant.
2. The White Puppy
White often symbolizes purity, potential, innocence, or something spiritually significant. The puppy could represent:
A lost part of yourselfâsomething from your past (childhood, motherhood, your artistic self) that was overlooked or let go.
A dream or responsibility you once saw but didnât claim, assuming it would find its own way.
Even an unspoken grief or emotional thread that slipped past your awareness.
You saw it, but didnât go after itâthis suggests a moment of quiet regret or missed opportunity. It wasnât negligence, it was trustâor a gentle detachment.
3. The Communityâs Concern
The children and the neighbor may symbolize aspects of your conscience or external reflections of your inner concern. The more they searched, the more worried you became. It shows a ripple effectâhow one intuitive nudge can awaken a deeper emotional truth.
You point toward kudzu, a plant known for overtaking and concealing what lies beneath. This may symbolize a fear of losing something precious to neglect, time, or overwhelming emotion.
4. The Fence Falling
A broken or falling fence signifies a shift in your boundariesâsomething is being revealed. It could mean:
Youâre opening up emotionally in a way you havenât before.
A truth youâve kept behind closed gates is emerging.
You're ready to confront something youâve hidden from, possibly related to change, aging, or roles evolving within your family or your identity.
5. The Grown Poodle
The puppyâs return as a full-grown poodle is profound. It has matured. It is elegant, beautiful, but no longer what it once was. This transformation represents:
Timeâhow it changes our relationships, our dreams, our needs.
Evolutionâof responsibilities, identities, or emotional needs you once dismissed.
A deep recognition that some things, even if they return, cannot be held the same way.
Your joy in seeing the dog is real, but so is the sadness that you canât keep it. Itâs a moment of graceful surrender.
6. Letting It Go
You had the chance to take it in, but the moment had passed. You no longer had spaceâphysically, emotionally, or spiritually.
Letting it go wasnât rejection.
It was an acknowledgment:
This no longer belongs to me.
Or maybe⌠it never did.
Overall Meaning
This dream speaks to longing, change, and the bittersweet nature of memory. It could be reflecting something youâve releasedâa creative path, a version of motherhood, a spiritual calling, a loss that still walks beside you in dreams. It reminds you that sometimes, beauty returns just to remind you of what once wasâand itâs okay to honor it without needing to possess it again.
Itâs a dream of maturity, grace, and release.
(March 27th 2025)
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"Ferris Wheels Made of Birds"
I dreamt of wheels
vast, living wheels
woven from wings and feathers
from hundreds, thousands of birds
stacked in perfect, impossible harmony.
Each bird took its place
beak to wing, claw to spine
forming circles that rose
like Ferris wheels spun by sky.
They moved in silence
each motion deliberate
and when complete
you could no longer see the birds at all
only the structure, the shape
as if nature herself had masked them
in their unity.
One towered above the skyline
larger than any skyscraper
rolling gently across water
just outside the cityâs breath.
They didnât sink
they floated
gliding forward like ancient machines
built not from metal
but from instinct and trust.
I watched from afar
a quiet witness to this miracle of survival.
Then a voice
soft, steady, feminine
broke into the dream
not mine
but older
a middle-aged woman speaking with calm clarity:
âThis is how they survive.â
And I believed her.
âđâ Interpretation âđâ
This dream is deeply surreal and rich with symbolic meaning, a blend of natural mystery and subconscious wisdom. Hereâs an interpretation that explores its layers:
1. Birds Forming Wheels: The Power of Collective Unity
Birds typically symbolize freedom, thought, and spiritual perspective. In this dream, they come together in structured formation, sacrificing their individual form to create something enormous and powerful. The "wheels" they form are not just shapesâthey're mechanisms of movement and transformation.
This could reflect how you or others around you are adapting through unity, support, or shared resilience.
The birds must align perfectly, a symbol of precision, order, or even sacrifice to become something greater.
2. Disappearing Identity: Becoming the Whole
Once the birds are arranged, they lose their individual appearanceâthey become something else entirely.
This speaks to identity dissolution for the sake of survival or transformation.
It may reflect a part of your life where you feel your individuality has blurredâmaybe in relationships, caregiving, creative collaboration, or trauma recovery.
3. Rolling Over Water: Transformation Beyond the Known
Water often represents the unconscious, emotion, and mystery.
These wheels moving across water suggest emotional navigation, perhaps an ability to cross into unknown or overwhelming territory through adaptive strength.
It could be your psyche showing you a new way to move through emotions or the worldânot by resisting, but by assembling and rolling with grace.
4. Voice of the Woman: Intuition or Ancestral Wisdom
The mysterious middle-aged womanâs voice feels like a guideâperhaps your inner wisdom, a maternal ancestor, or the archetype of the feminine seer.
Her calm explanationââThis is how they surviveââis profound. It reveals that what youâre seeing is not just beauty, but instinctual adaptation, a strategy passed down through time.
It may be a message to trust your own transformation, especially when it requires becoming part of something larger than yourself.
Overall Meaning
This dream reflects the tension between individual identity and collective purpose, between instinct and intention, and between stillness and motion.
You are witnessing a form of survival that is both elegant and humblingâone where unity creates strength, and form dissolves into function. Itâs a sacred reminder that change sometimes means becoming unrecognizable, but not less meaningful.
Would you like a visual piece to go with this interpretation? It would make a hauntingly beautiful painting or poem.
(May 31st 2018)
#dream journey#dream interpretation#dream journal#lucid dreaming#sad poem#spilled thoughts#spilled ink#writeblr#reading#my writing#dream#dream situation#surreal#surrelism
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"Stalked By Wild Animals"
Jeremiah and I drove through soft dusk,
riding in the truck toward the store.
I told him I wished weâd taken the car...
its quiet hum, the comfort of its cushions,
the way it held silence like a kindness.
He parked fast,
erratic,
at the far edge of the lot...
no other cars in sight, just a long stretch of nothing.
Then he was gone,
slipping out and walking away
too quickly to notice
that I couldnât follow.
Something was wrong.
The air felt electric.
I twisted toward the door,
but there it was...
a bobcat, lean and circling,
eyes like gold coins spun in tension.
I tried to yell.
Tried to warn him as it passed behind his shadow,
but he was already too far,
already fading into the horizon of his own pace.
I waited.
Held my breath like a fragile offering.
Then slowly, I tried again.
The door creaked open...
and just below,
a white wolf waited.
Full-grown, silent,
its coat like snow under moonlight,
its eyesâpiercing, glacial blue.
It growled low and ancient,
so I shut the door,
sealed myself inside a shell of breath and glass.
It paced.
It watched.
Never blinking,
never turning away.
I was seen...utterly and completely.
When it finally walked off,
relief poured into me like warm rain.
I looked down.
Beside me...food, small comfort.
A soft distraction.
Then...
scratching, soft and eager.
At the edge of the door,
little paws....
tiny wolf pups, wriggling in,
drawn to the scent of survival.
I fed them.
Threw bits of snack to the floor like crumbs of mercy,
and they scattered back into the wild.
But my breath caught...
because I knew
the mother would come back.
And this time,
she would not come quietly.
âđâ Interpretation âđâ
This dream is rich with symbolism, primal emotion, and deep layers of relationship dynamics, vulnerability, and instinct. Here's a multifaceted interpretation:
1. The Journey with Jeremiah
Riding to the store suggests an ordinary taskâsomething routine. But wishing you had taken the car for comfort could reflect a longing for emotional security, predictability, or softnessâsomething more nurturing than what youâre currently experiencing. Jeremiah's erratic parking and sudden departure without noticing your situation may symbolize feelings of being unseen, unsupported, or emotionally abandonedâeven if unintentionally.
2. The Bobcat & The Wolf: Threats of the Unspoken
Wild animals in dreams often represent instinct, danger, or repressed emotion.
The bobcat, elusive and circling, could symbolize a subtle threatâsomething stalking you emotionally or mentally, perhaps anxiety, trauma, or a feeling of being hunted by a force you canât fully name.
The white wolf is powerful. It faces you head-on, growls, and commands your submission. Its white fur and piercing blue eyes speak of purity, cold truth, and the primal. It might represent pain, truth, or even your own wild, wounded selfâuncompromising and fierce. The fact that it never looks away suggests that this is something that must be faced.
3. Being Trapped & Watched
Youâre inside the truckâcontained, immobilized, vulnerableâwhile the wolf circles and watches. This reflects a feeling of being trapped by circumstance, emotion, or illness, unable to move without risk. Being watched so directly implies a confrontation with something undeniable: your fear, your intuition, your past, or a truth about your current life.
4. The Wolf Pups & the Shift in Tone
When the pups sneak in to eat your food, there's a sudden tenderness. These small beings, vulnerable and hungry, represent innocence, need, or even parts of yourself that are trying to survive quietly. You show compassionâyou feed them. But with compassion comes consequence.
You suddenly remember the mother. And this is key:
> With every act of care, there may come a reckoning.
5. The Final Knowing: "She will not come quietly."
This is perhaps the most haunting line. The mother wolf isnât just a literal threat. She could be:
Your own fierce protection of your inner world.
A consequence youâre bracing forâemotional, relational, or physical.
A trauma response rising after vulnerability.
Even death/rebirth symbolismâthe divine feminine in her most feral form.
You know sheâs coming back. Thatâs wisdom. And dread. And strength.
Overall Meaning:
This dream feels like a reflection of your current emotional state: being alone in a moment of danger, abandoned in a place of inner conflict, facing something wild and necessary, and fearing the backlash of tenderness.
Itâs also deeply symbolic of transformation: you're trapped in a moment between action and surrender, where instinct, protection, and truth swirl around you like predators and messengers.
(May 4th 2018)
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đ˘ Nightmare đ˘
"Shot In The Head"
For reasons I couldnât name,
I was running...
not alone,
but with a man I didnât know,
bonded by a crime I couldnât recall,
but heavy enough to drag eternity behind us.
Five cop cars circled like vultures
around the house we escaped...
a quiet trap waiting to snap.
They saw me flee, saw the fear burning through me.
The first cruiser screeched to a halt.
I turned to them, breathless, trembling,
and begged:
âShoot me in the head.â
They paused.
Their eyes flickered with confusion,
but the one in the passenger seat,
with something wild in his gaze,
answered my plea without a word.
The gun sang.
The dream went black.
Then...
I was awake,
but not quite alive.
In a dim, quiet room,
the man from the chase was beside me.
I found a mirror.
What stared back wasnât a face...
it was a mask, grotesque and bloated,
as if stitched by the hands of fate itself.
From the nape of my neck
to the crown of my skull,
a wound split me open...
stitched down the middle like a terrible rebirth,
carving a path between my eyes
where the bullet must have kissed me.
I told him,
âAt least the swelling in my eyes is going down.â
He looked at me gently and said,
âThatâs okay. Donât worry.
Youâll be dead soon.â
âđâ Interpretation âđâ
Given that you experience seizures, migraines, and eye swelling, this dream may be deeply entangled with both physical sensations and emotional processing. Hereâs a layered interpretation that weaves together neurological, symbolic, and emotional insights:
Physical Interpretation (Seizure or Migraine Aura-Linked)
Dreams during or just before/after seizures or migraine auras can be intensely vivid, fragmented, or emotionally extreme. The swollen face, distorted identity, and blacking out could reflect:
Sensory distortionâcommon during seizures or migraines (especially hemiplegic or complex migraines).
Loss of control or ego dissolutionâfeeling like your body or identity is no longer âyou.â
Pain processingâyour brain attempting to make sense of or translate real physical discomfort (like eye swelling or head pressure) into dream imagery.
The stitched wound from neck to head could be your brain mapping pain onto symbolic injury. A seizure or aura may have been happening while you were dreaming or falling into REM.
Symbolic / Emotional Interpretation
Being Chased / Life Sentence:
Youâre running from something that feels inescapableâperhaps your chronic symptoms, your trauma, or even shame/guilt that doesnât have a clear source. The âlife sentenceâ could represent the ongoing nature of illness, emotional burdens, or a fear of being permanently altered.
Begging to be Shot:
This is incredibly intenseâand deeply symbolic. It doesnât necessarily reflect a literal death wish, but possibly:
A desperate need for release from suffering.
A desire to end an emotional or physical cycle you feel trapped in.
The wish to reset, to be reborn, to obliterate the pain.
The Shooting & Darkness:
Being shot, then entering blackness, may represent a complete ego or consciousness breakâpossibly the dream version of losing awareness during a seizure. It could also symbolize transformation: death of one self, awakening into another.
Swollen Mask & Stitched Head:
This feels like the physical pain of migraines or eye swelling interpreted through dream logic. It also symbolizes identity distortionâhow chronic pain or trauma can make us feel like weâre wearing a body that isnât ours anymore.
âYouâll be dead soon.â
This chilling line may not be about literal deathâit could mean:
âThe pain will pass.â
âThis version of you is dissolving.â
Or, from a dream-voice of surrender: Let go.
Overall Message:
This dream seems like a convergence of your physical condition and emotional landscape. Itâs not just a reflection of symptomsâitâs your psyche processing the weight of living with a body and mind that betray you at times. It also touches a nerve of transformation: the death of suffering, the hope for peace, even if part of you has to be torn open to get there.
(April 16th 2018)
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"The Wooden Clubhouse In The Tsunami"
Tina and I spoke without words,
our voices threading through the quiet folds of sleep.
Somewhere between thought and memory,
I asked her if she remembered the wooden playhouse
we built once, long ago, on a beach washed in golden dusk.
She said yes...it was still there.
I returned, barefoot in a fading dream,
and there it stood: weathered but waiting,
a ghost of laughter etched into the grain of its walls.
But behind it, the sea began to rise.
A great wave...slow, ancient, inevitable...
gathered in the distance, whispering of endings.
I knew it would fall.
I stood still as the tide swallowed the shore.
Yet when the wave reached me,
its strength was gentler than I feared.
So I loosened my grip on everything I thought I was,
and let the water take me...
not as a victim,
but as something lighter,
adrift in the rhythm of surrender.
âđâ Interpretation âđâ
1. Subconscious Conversation with Tina:
Speaking with Tina in a dreamâwithout physical wordsâhints at a bond that transcends time and distance. She's a thread to your past, your origins, perhaps even your first experiences of joy, imagination, and safety. The subconscious setting suggests that this isn't just about herâitâs about what she represents: your childhood self, your first memories of connection, play, and emotional innocence.
2. The Wooden Playhouse:
A playhouse built on the beach is a sacred creationâchildhood magic made real. That it still exists in the dream suggests that your inner child, your creativity, or the purity of that time hasnât been lost. Itâs still waiting for you. But because it's on a beachâalways shifting, always in motionâitâs also fragile, temporary. The memory or emotional space can't last forever in the same form.
3. The Tsunami:
This is the intrusion of life, change, or grief into that safe place. The tsunami may represent the moment you realized innocence fades. It could also symbolize something that threatened your sense of selfâtrauma, time, or loss. But you see it coming. You donât run. Thereâs awareness and a kind of mournful acceptance.
4. The Waves Arenât as Strong as You Thought:
This is the heart of the dreamâyour fear, your emotional anticipation of being overwhelmed, wasnât entirely true. The memories, the changes, the griefâthey hurt, but they donât break you. There's healing here. Youâre stronger now, or maybe softer in the right way. You no longer fight the current.
5. Letting Go and Drifting:
You surrender to your own emotional tide. Rather than resisting change or loss, youâre ready to trust itâto follow where your heart, your memory, or lifeâs rhythm takes you. Drifting isnât aimless hereâitâs spiritual. Itâs peace after storm. Letting go of what was, while still honoring it.
Overall Meaning:
This dream is about returning to your rootsâemotional, creative, spiritualâand realizing how far youâve come. Tina is a mirror, a guide into the past. The playhouse is the sanctuary of your inner child. The tsunami is the inevitable change you feared. But now, youâre ready to surrenderânot to be lost, but to evolve.
It feels like your soul is gently reminding you: You can visit the past without needing to stay there. What you built then still lives in you, even as the tides rise and fall.
(April 8th 2018)
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"Puerto Rican Hurricane"
I dreamt of a hurricane unraveling Puerto Rico...
a furious spiral tearing at the edges of the map.
From the sky, I watched the land break apart,
islands drifting like forgotten memories into the sea.
My grandmother's voice rose like static through the wind,
âThey have Black in their blood,â she said...
a phrase heavy with shadow and silence.
I answered softly,
âWhat you call Black is not what they areâ
they carry the drumbeats of distant tribes,
roots older than borders, deeper than skin.â
And in that moment,
as the storm pulled coastlines into the deep,
I saw the past and present collide...
a reckoning of blood, of belonging,
of the stories we inherit and the ones we refuse.
âđâ Interpretation âđâ
That's a vivid and layered dream, and it sounds emotionally and symbolically charged. Hereâs an interpretation that might resonate with you:
1. The Hurricane and Puerto Rico: The hurricane often symbolizes emotional turmoil, transformation, or chaos. Seeing it hit Puerto Rico, a place rich in culture and history but also impacted by colonialism and natural disasters, may point to collective trauma, displacement, or personal associations with identity and heritage. Looking at the country from above suggests a detached perspectiveâperhaps you're trying to understand something from a broader, more reflective place in your life.
2. Land Breaking Apart: Land drifting into the ocean might symbolize fragmentationâwhether itâs cultural, familial, or personal. This could reflect a sense of something precious or rooted being lost, or the disconnection you may feel between your values and those of older generations (like your grandmother's remark).
3. The Grandmother's Racist Comment: Her comment may represent outdated or harmful generational beliefsâpossibly things you've heard or had to confront in waking life. This element of the dream brings attention to internalized or inherited prejudices, and your refusal to accept them shows growth and a conscious rejection of ignorance.
4. Your Response: You mention tribalism and differentiate between African heritage and African American experience. This is powerfulâit shows your awareness of cultural nuance, identity, and history. It could symbolize a desire to reclaim or clarify truth, especially in the face of distortion or oversimplification.
Altogether, the dream feels like a confrontation with inherited beliefs, an exploration of identity, and an emotional reckoning with lossâboth cultural and personal. The hurricane clears and destroys, but it also makes way for rebuilding. Maybe this dream is asking: What outdated structures in your life or lineage need to be swept away? And what new truths are you ready to stand for?
(March 27th, 2018)
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âđWelcome to My Dream Journalđâ
I've kept a dream journal for over 20+ years. Every night, I drift into vivid, cosmic dreams... filled with emotion, mystery, and symbols that stay with me long after waking.
Some dreams are heartfelt visits from relatives and family that have passed away, and other's are surreal or symbolic.
This blog is a place to capture those dreams before they fade...written out in detail, interpreted through Dream Journaling Apps, and explored with curiosity. I often look up their meanings, draw connections to life, and let them guide my inner work.
Some dreams inspire paintings or unfold into poems. Others hold healing messages that I uncover piece by piece. Through this space, I honor my dreamworld as a sacred part of my creativity and growth. âď¸đ¤âď¸
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