smiggles-88 - Tumblr blog

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ever since i was a little one i knew i wanted to idolize killers and get banned on social media

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I find it upsetting how sexually focused necrophilia spaces are. I say the phrase "necrophilia space" a bit loosely, seeing as there are really only a small handful of people who occasionally post about it on here, but I digress. All content about it is about sexual contact with the dead. I find it saddening. I understand that for the majority of people with attraction toward the dead, it is little more than a fetish. I can not help but feel out of place due to that fact. I experience attraction toward the dead as a part of my overall orientation, no different to my interest in the living. Meaning that, yes, I do have a sexual interest in the dead, but my feelings of romance and affection toward them far outweigh that aspect. I wish that there were others who saw the dead the way that I do, as equal to the living. As beings to love and care for. Why do they no longer deserve to be appreciated after their passing? I just can not understand it. I do not see why I am strange for my love. How can it be wrong for love and connection to transcend life? To care for those who can not give you anything in return is sweet, in my opinion. What about that deserves to be met with disgust?

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Am I the only one who fantasizes about finding someone else's dumped murder victim?

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I got bored so I decided to draw this screenshot from me and my friend playing roblox, as his character is eric, and mine is Adam, I thought it would be funny to draw, if you want to request me to draw anything then feel free too, I enjoy art and I'll draw much of anything

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Gawd, I need more Adam Lanza friends. Wanna be ma friend¿ I love your blog 🫂🫂

yes of course, message me and i will give you my email address so we can go back and forth

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Ranting

Self destruction follows me like a stray dog, but there's something all to common between the two; I would never try to destroy or get rid of a stray animal, nor would I with my own selfish actions, no matter how many people ask and beg me to stop with any of the thing's I do to harm myself I will never stop because I am selfish, I am aware it hurts them, I just do not care, I never did and nothing will change, I find a home in my own pain, why would I trade that for people that don't matter, for people who will leave? My home will never leave me, my thoughts will never leave, my views and philosophies wont ever leave. I can sit at my home knowing happily that I am alone and always will be, no matter how many people claim to be my friends, and even if I do care about them I will never give up what makes me comfortable. My own sadness, my LSD, my razors, my scale, my own thoughts and voices in my head. All of which make me comfortable, so why is that different than if someone is comfortable being all happy go lucky and drowning out their problems with parties and mindless rambling to a person with a note pad and a deadpanned expression? (or if they want to be some hero it would be an overly sympathetic one, which is arguably more irritating)

In my eyes it isn't, and I'm tired of people telling me that with medication and some therapy I will be 'fixed'. There is nothing to fucking fix, did they ever think of that as an option, no, no they did not as they only care about being up another level on the bull shit social hierarchy that people care so much about when the truth is, it doesn't matter, were all going to die someday, why wallow and dwell on what other people find enjoyment in? It's ridiculous. Anyhow, that's it for my rant today, maybe I'll post more things like this, I'm not sure yet…

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Horray for America, I love school shootings.

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Another post/comment from Adam

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Growing up with aspd i knew id get in trouble for hurting or scaring people so i settled for just being really gross just to disgust them and see their reactions

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I am just baffled..

Adam Lanza Document titled Me

-PRape Honestly, doctors touching my penis when I was a child was worse than it would be if I consented to an adult in a loving relationship with them. I don't see how I and every child was not raped by doctors: We did not consent to it. We only did it because our parents made us. Which is another point: If we as a society taught children that they are independent of their parents and that they should not blindly follow them, they would not be abused by their parents in the way they often are. (Tie this into the "Adults enjoy subjugating children" argument?) Why does "medicinal practice" change the nature of it? An adult touched my genitals when I didn't want them to. Because it "had" to be done and because my parents allowed it fundamentally changes the nature of it? 1.) Why would I be upset over this? Perhaps it because I personally think that the entire notion of "power" and "authority" is pathetic, so I don't feel as if I was "manipulated" (even though by definition, I was; it's just that I don't apply the societal meaning to it). 2.) Why is it okay for a parent to "allow" an adult to touch a child, if they are demonstratably capable of applying reason, just because they're the child's parent? A child should belong to theirself. I was coerced by an adult into having my penis stroked. This is by definition rape. This happens to virtually every child. Yet everyone thinks there is nothing wrong with this? It should be up to the child to decide if it is right or wrong. I was molested at least a dozen times by a few different adults when I was a child. It wasn't my decision at all: I was coerced into it. They felt me all over my body, and it usually culminated in the fondling of my penis. What do each of the adults have in common? They were doctors, and each of them were sanctioned by my parents to do it. This happens to virtually every child without their input into the matter: Their parents sanction it. And yet, virtually none of these children grow up feeling traumatized by the experience. How can we reconcile this extreme dissonance? Virtually every child's genitals are fondled without their decision in the matter, but when a child deliberately wants to engage in sexual activity with an adult, it becomes traumatic (whether or not they are even cognizant of the "trauma")? I'm not saying that this is wrong. A child should decide for themself whether they want to allow a doctor to fondle their penis instead of being coerced by their parents into having it done. It must be because the victims of rape are coerced by their society into believing that what they experienced is an irrevocable evil and a lifelong trauma. And maybe it is to some individuals! How can we reconcile the fact that virtually every child has been raped and everyone's indifference to it, with the notion that rape is something traumatizing?

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What Adam wore during the shooting (he also wore a vest, but I don't have the picture of it)

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Adam lanza's guns

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Weight loss pt 2

133-129lbs (haven't been on here in a while and forgot to update! i need to buy a new scale mines not working well at the moment, weekly updates will be posted soon)

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weight loss

lost maybe 4-5 lbs, 137-132/133 (keeps changing)

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Richard Trenton Chase

This is a newer topic/person, but I've been reading into Richard Chase lately and if you guys know anything regarding him, or have anything "rare" or unknown by most I'd love to be educated on him

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Hybristophilia

I'm not really one to post like this so it's kind of odd for me, but I've been an Adam Lanza fan for around 3 years now, I've always felt attraction to him, yea, but I was more focused (and still am) on finding out more information about him, but I never rea.ly put it into perspective fully, that I've never been in a relationship without feeling some guilt, to be clear I don't like them anyway, so that could be why but it wouldn't explain guilt, my friends have explained it as me being 'in love' with Adam, and I usually deny it because I don't want to be seen as one of those annoying fans, it's hard to explain them, but if you've been in the TCC you know what I'm on about. Anyway, another thing is that I've always agreed with most his views, even before knowing about him, and after, even when I found out about how he thinks and such it just ended up bending them slightly, it's hard to explain and I feel like I'm rambling, anyway, I'll end this here.

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adam lanza's car

adams car + license plate im on a role today, 3 or 4 posts in one day