softboo

[softboo]

ℳ𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝓯𝓵𝓸𝓸𝓭 𝓶𝔂 𝓮𝔂𝓮𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓵𝓮𝓯𝓽 𝓪𝓼 𝓽𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓼

[softboo]

me too austin. for him and for you lolol

Do you get starstruck ever?

[softboo]

Dude for real though your worth as a human being is not dependent on how productive or “useful” you are. You could do nothing but lay in bed all today and you’d still be worthy of respect and care. Bro you are a living breathing human being and your life has inherent value. Like straight up you don’t have to do something impossible or world changing with your time on earth in order for you to matter. We are all specks of dust in the cosmos and the fact that you exist at all means you are important. Dude you don’t have to earn the right to live bro, like I swear bro, like no cap.

[softboo]

love me, ever so gently - part IV

pairing: austin x reader

summary: you recently moved to a new apartment, making some new eccentric friends along the way. but what you didn't expect was falling in love with a stranger. a stranger you somehow couldn't stop thinking about

words: 4.8k

warnings: depictions of alcohol, certain scenes that pertain to dark themes of domestic abuse in relationships, *minors please don't interact*

author's note: hiii here is the next part of the story... i genuinely have no words to describe how grateful i am that there are people out there who have fallen in love with this story as much as i have. i'm still debating whether or not i'll write more just because i still want to live in this world lol. but thank you so much for all your support. it really means a lot to me and i am forever grateful :3 hope you enjoy <3

previous part

part IV

you groaned as you woke up, yet again, to a blaring headache and the door being pounded on. and you couldn't figure out which one was coming from where. you slowly eased yourself up out of bed, which made you feel even worse, shuffling yourself along for a million years before you answered the door.

"wow... you look like you got hit by a bus again."

george's voice rang in your ears. you could've sworn you had your eyes open, but it felt like they were closed. you tried to glare at him, but everything in your face felt numb. cassandra and evelyn caught up with him and both exchanged a look of concern.

"george, i think we need to talk to her alone."

he glanced over at cassandra and then back to you, the joy in his eyes disappearing for a brief moment. he just nodded in response, obliging without fighting them. you suddenly felt this wave of emptiness as you saw him walk away, whispering to cassandra before leaving.

and a part of you wished you never heard it, but you did.

"get our favorite girl back. i don't see her anymore."

~ ~

the silence hung low between the three of you, as you swirled your spoon meaninglessly in the mug. you glanced down at yourself, feeling as if you've sat here before in this exact situation just a few days ago. but then again, when have they not tried to get you out of your apartment.

"my love, i think it's time for you to move on." cassandra began, her soothing tone compensating for the bluntness of her statement. you just aimlessly nodded to her request, which was something she grew familiar with after the third or fourth day.

your empty promises were piling up and it was only a matter of time before it actually had to have meaning behind it.

"come with us tonight to the movies," evelyn suggested, offering her hand for you to take. "it'll be a great way for you to get your mind off of him."

your heart sunk even deeper when they mentioned him again, that night flooding your thoughts as you were reminded of what was going to happen tomorrow. it was inevitable.

she was inevitable.

"please love, you need to get out of this apartment. you can't just stay here and wait until they come back."

you scoffed at such a thought, thinking of what a sight that would be seeing them come back together from the airport, pretending you were preoccupied with anything else that wasn't him.

evelyn's hand still laid on the table, waiting patiently for you to reconsider the option of coming. of just going with them for once instead of drowning yourself in another day of being alone.

you hesitated for a moment, glancing at cassandra and then to evelyn. the thought of him being reunited with her made your heart sting, but you knew being physically here when they did arrive would ultimately make you feel even worse.

so you took everything in yourself to consider the possibility of actually being okay again.

and you slowly let your hand fall into hers and gave the smallest smile in the world.

"okay. i'll go."

~ ~

"are you ready sweetie?" cassandra called back to you, as the three of them waited outside of your apartment.

you checked your reflection once more, letting your hair flow freely and naturally down to frame your face. and a maroon dress that cassandra and evelyn insisted that you wear.

and for the first time in weeks, you felt beautiful, elegant, and untouchable. like all those days of being alone and rumminating on your feelings dissipated into nothingness behind you.

like heartbreak anniversaries were no longer written on your calendar.

you stepped into some heels before meeting them at the door, blushing immensely as they looked at you.

"there's our favorite girl."

george's voice broke a little as he dramatically wiped his eyes for tears that weren't there yet. cassandra walked towards you, her hands taking yours as she gently caressed your cheek and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

"you look lovely sweetie," her voice giving you a familiar comfort to your heart.

"so do you," you smiled back as you all gazed at everyone's attire.

george insisted on wearing something formal, wanting to make your little outing a special occasion. according to him, it was a great excuse to wear his suit again. and according to cassandra, it was the only suit he owned, which was from their wedding day.

"alright you old folks, let's go!" george bellowed, letting out that same laugh from when you met him for the first time. cassandra smacked him in the arm before he responded with a sweet kiss on her cheek. evelyn offered her arm for you to hold as you all went downstairs.

and you didn't even look at his apartment.

~ ~

"you have everything right?" cassandra asked george, who was very insistant on being responsible for the tickets. the showing was for one of their favorite old hollywood movies, you weren't sure which, but you were as excited as them to see it.

when you all entered the old theater, the employees shot you a complete and utter face of confusion as you all roared into the empty area wearing the most elegant attire. not many people knew of the showing, which was why the entire theater was relatively empty.

as you all settled into your seats, a sudden wave of calmness came over you as it started to sink in that you weren't there to just forget about him. you were there to spend time with your friends as well. their voices echoed in such a big theatre, not even minding the few stares and looks they got from some of the people there.

"george you're stepping on me again."

"can you pass the popcorn please? no, i want the whole bucket."

"evelyn, i can't see anything. what are you pointing at?"

it wasn't long until the lights completely disappeared and you were swallowed by the darkness that surrounded you in the theater, all of you eager and excited for the film to begin.

that calmness and comfort slowly took over and you suddenly felt at ease with being there, with your friends, and the world you were going to enter inside that movie theater.

~ ~

"goodnight everyone!" you echoed from the top of the staircase. you vaguely heard a reply from evelyn who was on the second floor as the other two were already calling it early. you waved frantically at evelyn from the bottom, who mimicked that same overdramatic wave from the movie. you couldn't help but laugh.

"go to bed already! i want to sleep!" she screamed back at you, flashing a smile at your little figure from above.

you gave her one final goodbye wave for the night, feeling like an entirely new person after spending time with them. you couldn't even stop smiling as you replayed the little remarks all of you made after the movie ended. the way evelyn was so certain of her theory, while george laughed at how the romance didn't make any sense. and cassandra, she fell in love with the film as much as you did.

as you stopped at your floor, your heart dropped from your chest.

austin was there, sitting outside his door like he'd forgotten something. his hair looked disheveled, the blonde messiness matching his loose tie and unbuttoned dress shirt. it was the first time you'd seen him since that night, the memories drowning you in an endless sea.

"hey, are you okay?"

he looked up to find who spoke and you saw those oceans come alive once more, like a second home to your heart. his expression was as shocked and confused as yours, his eyebrows furrowed to try to make sense of you actually being there. after so many days of avoiding him, he had the right to contemplate if your existence was even real to him.

"yeah, i'm okay."

there was an emptiness there and something pulling at your heart. you didn't believe him.

"can i join you?"

"of course," and he moved over for you to sit next to him on the floor. his doormat being a cushion you were both sharing.

"you look nice... did you go somewhere?"

his low tone still sent ocean waves through your body, like he was inviting you all over again. something you convinced yourself for days that you never needed, but somehow he still had a hold on your heart. and you melted right into his hands.

"oh, thank you," your voice merely a whisper in the air, "i came back from the movie theater."

austin looked at you amused, a small smile forming.

"you wore a formal dress to the movies?"

you nodded, "yeah, because i wasn't feeling like myself for the past few days."

it was like you struck a chord in him because he turned to look at you, wanting to figure out what was making you feel that way. but he didn't know how to ask.

"and how do you feel now?"

"better."

something in the way you held yourself in that regard, knowing when to pick yourself back up. he admired that about you, wishing he could maybe do the same.

there was a shared silence between you both before he spoke again.

"do you remember that night... in your apartment?"

you felt everything inside you go numb as he mentioned it. because no matter how long you tried to forget that it happened, he remembered for you.

"yes..."

he let out a soft sigh, as you noticed the way he tensed up a bit. stiffening his stature and playing with the cloth of his dress shirt.

"did you really mean what you said? about my girlfriend..."

you closed your eyes at his statement, the way she still lingered between you two. you mustered up that same strength from before, a lie you repeated to yourself because he wasn't yours to begin with.

"yes, i meant it. she's lucky to have someone like you in her life."

something about you saying it again didn't seem to convince him at all.

"you say that but i don't feel lucky."

you turned to him, looking at his prominent expression of utter defeat. like he'd given up on something. you could see the oceans drying out in his eyes.

"what do you mean?"

and it was like he felt his bruises again, clutching his torso like he was protecting himself. he couldn't look at you.

"austin?"

you saw him soften a bit when he heard your voice, letting it sink in that he was here with you and not her.

you hesitated for a moment, knowing fully well you were going to overstep a boundary and meet him at the bottom of the ocean.

"does she hurt you?"

you felt your heart speed up in anticipation for his answer. he met your gaze for a split second before both of you turned to the elevator, hearing its normal ding.

and out came the last person you wanted to see.

his girlfriend walked out with her long dark red hair flowing effortlessly behind her. she was carrying her bags and screamed when she saw him.

"austin my love!! surprise!! i came back early!!"

a squeal that stung at your ears as she dropped her bags and flung herself into him, ultimately pushing you to the side. she eagerly covered him in messy kisses, like she was marking territory.

like she was marking property.

when she finally let go and austin gave her a weak smile, she eyed you with a suspicious look on her face. that somehow you offended her by merely your presence.

"i didn't realize there was help working late at night."

you clenched your jaw at her sudden assumption of your position. a fire igniting once more inside your chest and you wanted her to walk right through it.

"she's not an employee." austin stated firmly, his face tightening at her insult.

your eyes widened at him and how he held his ground when defending you.

"she's my—"

"well love, whatever she is, she has no purpose in staying here with you. let alone, no reason to be in your life."

she flashed you that creepy little grin that stretched too far on her face, pulling austin closer to her, tightening her grip thinking if she ever gave him a chance to breathe, he'd escape.

"not sure where you belong sweetie, but it's definitely not here."

she purposely shoved you to the side, dragging austin along with her. soon enough, she slammed the door on your face like last time.

and all that was left were her forgotten bags in the hallway, the blinding rage boiling inside of your heart, and the fire that lingered near the ocean.

~ ~

you stared at your ceiling, thoughts racing in your head of what you could've done. what else could you have said. you glanced over at your clock, sighing in disappointment as the numbers barely changed. it was exactly eleven minutes since you last checked, now reading a dreadful 2:16am.

you hated this feeling, of wanting to do something but not being able to. of wanting to save him from something that you knew he had to save himself from. cassandra's words from before rang right in your ears again:

are you doing this because you care about him or because you like him?

did there really have to be a difference?

you felt so frustrated that somehow after two weeks, he still had a space in your heart. no matter how many times you let the alcohol numb you sometimes or how many times you stayed in your apartment watching reruns of your favorite movies and shows.

it all ended the same. your heart was screaming at you for it.

and yet, just when you finally had a chance to drift off into sleep, you heard a noise.

you sat up quickly, facing where the sound came from. you glanced down at the clock, which barely moved, now reading 2:20am. you slowly lowered yourself back to bed dismissing the sound until it repeated again, multiple times.

it was a knock, faint but you knew what you heard.

you slowly got up from your bed, walking slowly to the main door, hearing that faint noise again. there was an occasional loud sound, but the smaller ones were more consistent.

as you slowly approached the door, it was like the stranger on the other side heard your footsteps and for a moment, you heard the sudden weight of something leaning on the door. you froze, but soon enough you heard the faintest voice in the world.

"i don't know if you're awake... but if you are, it's austin."

your eyes widened when you heard his voice, quickly opening the door for him.

and you saw him, dressed entirely in black. his hoodie covering his face a bit and his sweats covered in something that you couldn't really see. his breath stopped for a moment as he saw you, his entire body suddenly relaxing into you. his head falling on your shoulder as if his body was about to give out, his face nuzzling right at your neck.

and you felt this overwhelming wave of warmness hit you, not being able to hide the blush that appeared on your cheeks.

"i... i didn't know where else to go..."

your breath hitched at the realization. at the worst possible scenario. because everything you were thinking about was true. because it happened. and he was all the proof you needed.

you quickly shut the door behind you as he leaned right up against you. you wanted to be so careful with him, being in such a fragile state. you thought about putting him in your bed, but he couldn't hold himself up much longer and soon enough, he collapsed onto the floor leaning up against the door.

"i'm so sorry for..."

"you don't have to be sorry for anything austin... really. i mean it."

he just nodded, wincing at the minimal movement he made with responding to you.

you sat with him, gently taking his hood off from his face and bracing yourself to see what he had to endure before seeing you.

and you felt the tears come as you saw what was left of him.

his eyes were swollen, bruised. he had cuts all over his face that somehow went down his neck. there were more bruises down his arms and a decent amount of blood coming from each and every little scar that decorated his body.

but what made you feel even worse was the lack of water in his eyes. there were no longer raging oceans swimming with life or the blueness that covered the endless body of water. it was empty. dry. like a desert.

and yet, when he saw you looking at him, truly looking at his scars and still trying to find the beauty in him, he couldn't help but give you the smallest smile in the world. he noticed your eyes water and gently grazed his thumb on your cheek to wipe it away.

"don't cry... i'm going to be okay, i promise."

you wanted to hate him, that somehow even when he's the one holding all these bruises and scars, he still had the strength to comfort you.

but you couldn't hate him. not one little sliver of anything inside of you could hate him.

~ ~

austin woke up slowly, his head pounding in his ears as he rubbed against his temple. he had to blink a few times to realize that he wasn't in his own apartment at all. and somehow he fell asleep on the floor. he tried to get up, but noticed a shadow of someone next to him. and it was you.

and the moment he saw you, everything from last night came rushing through him. the stumbling into your apartment, the way you complimented his cologne, you kicking him out from trying to help you change, and the last thing you said to him before he drifted off to sleep.

"your girlfriend is so unbelievably lucky to have you."

it was something that should've initially made him feel grateful because it was true... wasn't it? so then why did it feel like his chest was suffocating on air?

the memories and the alcohol were mixing together, he couldn't make sense of his emotions. what all of this meant to him.

but what he did know was how much you meant to him. he just couldn't decide where you stood in his life yet.

he found it quite amusing that you wanted him to leave, that you were very adament that he couldn't sleep here. and yet, you collapsed right beside him on the floor.

he checked his phone briefly, a bright 4:32am appeared on the screen. he knew he couldn't stay here, but he also knew it would be rude to leave you on the floor.

and so, he gently crouched down next to you and tucked his arms right under you, lifting you up. making sure your head was leaning on his chest, he slowly walked towards your bed and laid you there under the blankets.

he looked at you for a moment before leaving, letting it sink in that you might not even remember where you fell asleep.

and a part of him hurt when the thought crossed his mind.

~ ~

"george... can i ask you something?" austin began as they finished packing up evelyn's cooking supplies from her latest class. george beamed at him, leaning against the boxes on the counter, waiting patiently for him to continue.

"of course elvis my boy! you can ask me anything!"

he hesitated before speaking, thinking it was too invasive to ask, but he had to know if what he was feeling was normal.

or if he was genuinely crazy.

"how did you know... you wanted to marry cassandra?"

george stared at him, his eyebrows furrowing to a point. the question took him off guard, something he never quite expected from austin, but he couldn't help smiling at the thought of his wife and how they first met.

"well..." his voice drifted to piece together all the right words, "i knew i wanted to be with her for the rest of my life when she took me as i am."

george's loudness became merely a softness when he spoke about cassandra and austin could feel that sense of love radiating off of his friend. george began animating his life with her, the way she always seemed to be there whenever he spoke about his passions, and how cassandra fully accepted him as himself.

"usually, people say they drift apart during a marriage because their partner changed. but for me, i just wanted to be there through every changing moment."

george gave him a warm smile, as his words weighed heavy in austin. he lingered on the thought, the possibility of fully letting himself dive into those waters. letting his heart sink into something completely unfamiliar, knowing somehow, somewhere, you would be there sitting with him right at the bottom.

willingly. voluntarily.

along with something else he wasn't ready to face yet, nor was his heart ready to resurface among calm waters.

"thank you..." austin drifted, his voice shrinking smaller and smaller as it disappeared into the walls of the kitchen. it wasn't long until he pulled george into a warm hug, fully appreciating the story his friend shared.

"anything for my boy, you know that."

george's voice slightly broke, feeling as if austin wasn't being fully honest with him or to himself rather. like there was something else hidden under those waters.

it wasn't long until george broke the kind gesture, holding austin firm right on the shoulders, a reminder of his strength. that there was something in austin that he wasn't yet ready to face.

"you're still going to the movies with us right?"

austin blanked at his question, scrambling for the words to answer. he wasn't sure if he should, but he knew that this was his only chance to see you before she came back into his life tomorrow.

that there was a sliver of a possibility that you would be sitting next to him again.

he let out a soft sigh and smiled.

"of course i am."

~ ~

she pulled austin, hard, her face burning with a fire that dried out the oceans in his eyes.

"and you had the nerve to make plans on the day i was coming back."

"i didn't ask for you to come early."

her emotions were boiling over now as she pushed him against the door, her face contorting into a scowl.

"and what does she even have that i don't? what's wrong with me then?"

she paced around the kitchen now, grabbing whatever glass container they had and throwing it on the ground. each one breaking into tiny little pieces.

and all austin could do was stand near the door and take it.

"tell me what's wrong with me then austin. TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG."

her screams echoed across their apartment, drowning him in an endless noise. he clenched his jaw as he mustered enough energy to say something back. because anything would be better than nothing.

"you never fell in love with me. you fell in love with my name."

she paused, her red hair messily laid behind her. her hand gripping the last few glasses they had left as she aimed it right at austin.

"your name? bullshit, i've been there through everything. you're MY everything. she's NOTHING."

"but you don't know anything about me."

and he knew he struck a chord when her eyes began to water. she screamed at him again, a high pitched screech that killed his ears. she threw something else at him, but it didn't matter. he wasn't looking anymore.

she approached him now, holding whatever else she could find to use against him.

"and what makes you say that austin?"

she scrambled to find anything as leverage to use against him, to show she still had power over him.

but she didn't.

"because you never chose me. and i will always choose her."

~ ~

you gently pressed the wet towel against his forehead, soaking up whatever was left of his scars. he closed his eyes to your touch, letting you take control of everything. your legs tangled into each other as you sat together on your bed.

there was something so natural with the way you took care of him, bandaging his wounds, and icing the bruises on his skin.

like you'd been doing this for years.

and he would let you do it forever if he could.

"austin?"

"yes?" his eyes fluttered open to your voice.

"you're not going back there with her right...?" your voice merely just a whisper, feeling as if your words were passing a boundary.

a boundary that you didn't know no longer existed.

he shook his head no, smiling weakly, still trying to remain strong in front of you.

"then stay with me."

your heart speaking faster than your mind could catch up and you panicked at the words. you were so preoccupied by how embarrassed you felt that you didn't notice how red austin had gotten as well.

"i mean... you can sleep on the bed and i can take the couch," you quickly corrected yourself and austin let out a small laugh. something you haven't heard in weeks.

"it's okay, i can take the couch. this is your apartment after all."

there was a calm silence between you two, as you slowly finished placing the last bandage on, pressing the adhesive gently on his skin. and as you leaned back to fully look at him, you could still see the marks that she left behind on him, even when you tried to cover it.

she still lingered in the air between you.

and because of that, your eyes began to water again.

austin quickly reacted, seeing the way you moved away from him. like you were afraid to break him.

"what's wrong?" his voice wavering as you searched through everything to find the right things to say. to find anything to say.

"i just... i don't understand people who hurt people, especially when it's someone like you."

the way you reacted swelled something in his heart and all he could think about was finding a way to comfort you. to take your pain away.

and so, he pulled you towards him, where you were tangled up into each other again. pain shot down through his body at the effort, but he didn't care. he just wanted to ease your pain.

his hand reached your cheek, gently placing a strand of hair behind your ear. and he leaned in to take away the distance between you two, as his lips met yours.

and he kissed you.

the kiss was so soft, so comforting. and you melted right into him like your heart had always wanted to for all those months, since the first time you met him.

he pulled you closer to him, as if there was even a sliver of something keeping you two from being together. he held your face in his hands, easing himself into you gently.

he was so afraid to hurt you, but there was something about the way you explored him, the fragility of your touch against his skin. it felt so unfamiliar yet comforting to his heart.

and yet, it broke yours.

he let himself get lost in you, the warmness surrounding him as you caught every little drop of water from falling into the abyss at the bottom.

the way your fingertips grazed each and every little scar, every bruise, like you were reassuring him. acknowledging its presence but knowing, it would never define him.

you slowly let go, fully gazing into his eyes and seeing those oceans coming alive again, just by the way he was looking back at you. and you saw something that you only wished to see months ago.

love.

his fingers wiped the remaining tears from your cheeks as yours just traced little circles around his, ending right at his lips again. your bodies tangled into each other once more, as you played with his hair.

he closed his eyes again to your touch and you saw him smile.

and it was one of the most beautiful things you've ever seen.

he gently caressed your cheek, gazing at you like he was afraid to lose you. like he was afraid to forget you.

"stay with me... please."

his voice wavered, as if he doubted that your heart would ever let you leave him.

"always."

[softboo]

He looks GLORIOUS with the facial hair... I just. I JUST

[softboo]

PUT ME IN COACH. PUT ME INTO THE FIGHT PLEASE

AUSTIN BUTLER Dune (2024) • Behind the scenes dir. Denis Villeneuve

[softboo]

I'm literally in love with your 'love me, ever so gently' series! Please never stop writing! ❤️❤️❤️

okay i just want to take a moment to appreciate you for supporting me because wow🥺❤️ i'm so in awe that you like my story. like wow?? an actual human being likes my story?? you fell in love with these characters as much as i have??

i just want to say thank you, truly from like the bottom of my heart because messages like this really help with bringing me back so i am extremely grateful

also i'm still struggling on the ending and whether it needs an epilogue but we'll see when i enter back into that world again. i'm planning on having the next part in by hopefullyyy later this week AHH but yeah

also you're so sweet i'm literally going to cry in a corner

okay bye

i hope you have a wonderful day night week month life wherever you are☺️💕

[softboo]

hi my lovies c:

i'm back.

well... kinda lol.

it's been a really bad month for me in regards to like personal issues, family stuff, and work. it's been a blur of just really unfortunate things happening all at the same time.

and with that, i haven't written since the last time i was on here which was april i believe? (that was so long ago omg...) but i'm slowly trying to resurface from the mental drowning that happened in may lol.

i found all the story ideas i made 2 months ago when i was super depressed that my first story was ending (which i will be posting the next part later this week heh). i tried writing an epilogue but not sure if it was needed... we'll see how i feel after part 4 comes out since it's been so long since i've placed myself in that world again.

but it really is funny how movies and tv shows bring you back to being creative because i finally got the chance to watch the boys in the boat last weekend and i felt all warm and fuzzy and inspired because the story is so beautiful??

and i'm finally sitting down to watch masters of the air after all these months of avoiding it because i know damn well austin and callum will pull me deeper into a hole that i'm already living in

but yeah... in conclusion heh. i miss writing. i miss people. and i miss reading fics. so i'm here

it's probably going to take me a bit to get back into that headspace of writing but i'll get there lol

i hope all of you guys have been doing well, truly. life is hard but i think what matters is that we keep going and we keep trying

sending love always <3

[softboo]

i'm in this picture and i don't like it lmfaoo

literally all of my story ideas have one specific scene and i feel like i'm trying to just wiggle woggle my way there

Edit Note: I'm really amazed by how much love this post got. Guess it just shows we're all in the same boat. Never give up writing! ❤️

Edit Note 2: I can't believe this has reached 3000 notes. Been on tumblr for almost ten years (different account) and nothing like this has ever happened before. Thank you! 😊

[softboo]

– Audrey Hepburn

[softboo]

the fact that i'm no longer the same age as the protagonists of novels and films i once connected to is so heartbreaking. there was a time when I looked forward to turning their age. i did. and i also outgrew them. i continue to age, but they don't; never will. the immortality of fiction is beautiful, but cruel.

[softboo]

so um... i'm like nearing the end of my first austin fic and i've never been so sad about it. a few days ago, i literally took a sad nap for three hours because i was so depressed that i would be leaving the story.

i even tried to convince my friend if i could squeeze in another part just for closure of the characters. but honestly it's a disguise to have closure for myself lol.

but is that normal to be so connected to a story as a writer? i haven't written fics in a long time... and now thanks to austin butler, i'm having emotional attachments to characters i made up...

is that weird?

i even tried to compensate my sadness by making up more story ideas but i still feel sad about it... idk anyways

i do want to say thank you to everyone who has read the story and supported it. like it genuinely means the world to me seeing other people love what i write. like :( thank you :(

and i am so nervous that these new stories won't live up to the first

but yeah... hope you guys are doing okay though. because i clearly am not lmfaoo

[softboo]

smol baby being held by a smaller baby :c

Austin Butler : The Kitten Interview.

[softboo]

love me, ever so gently - part III

pairing: austin x reader

summary: you recently moved to a new apartment, making some new eccentric friends along the way. but what you didn't expect was falling in love with a stranger. a stranger you somehow couldn't stop thinking about

words: 2.3k

warning: depictions of alcohol, dark themes of domestic abuse in relationships, *minors please don't interact*

author's note: hii here's part III of the story!! this one was a lot of fun to make omg and it wasn't even supposed to go this way at all... it kinda just happened lmfaoo. i'm already writing the next part heh. but yeah, it truly means the world to me that you guys read these stories. like it really warms my heart, so thank you. hope you enjoy <3

previous part // next part

part III

"he's being abused cassie," you wanted to be straightforward on the topic, especially with how delicate the issue was. you thought she would say something, but she paused. like the weight of your words were slowly sinking in. the realization and the possibility landing right in front of her.

you were just afraid she wouldn't see it.

and she didn't.

"sweetie, what makes you say that? he seems fine."

for the past few weeks, austin started attending more events. the cooking class being one of his favorites. you no longer sat with him anymore, feeling awkward every time you spoke to each other. the silence became so deafening that you soon changed partners. but a part of you always seemed to wonder how he was doing. if he had any new bruises. if he was still healing from past injuries. if his pain was still there.

and if he was genuinely okay.

from someone who knew nothing, like the rest of your friends, he seemed to be doing amazing. and he was pretty good at keeping that front up.

maybe he found a way to put his guard up even more after you.

you all were spending dinner in the kitchen; evelyn taking her proper position as cook, insisting on making everything by scratch. it took a long time to convince her that george was there to help and when she did accept, he never left her side. making sure she had every ingredient ready.

he genuinely looked like he was a cook working for the head chef, but you and cassandra both knew he was mainly doing it for the food.

"i promise you cassie, he's not okay."

"if he wasn't okay dear, then why is he coming here to spend dinner with us?"

your eyes widened at the news, which made cassandra smile.

"you invited him?" panic started to rise up to your throat, "but why?"

"george invited him because his girlfriend is out of town for two weeks. he's going to be alone and no one deserves to be alone at a time like this."

you gritted your teeth, the thought of seeing him again after so long and now he was spending dinner with your friends made you feel slightly uncomfortable by the idea. not because you didn't want to see him, but moreso because your heart was so desperate to talk to him again.

"cassie, his girlfriend is the problem. he's probably so excited that she's gone, which is why he's attending more events."

"my love, listen to me." she took your hands from across the table, eyeing you with such intent and comfort that she let out a sigh.

"you know why i don't believe you?"

your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, not knowing where she was going with this.

"because i know how you feel about him," she waited for your reaction, but all you did was blink at her. "let's say this is true, the girlfriend is an abuser, then what?"

"then we help him right?"

"sure dear, but you need to ask yourself if you're doing that because you care about him or because you like him."

you bit your lip. why did there have to be a difference? you can care about someone right?

"and if it's the latter, you need to wait and see if he'll reach out to you. because again, he is taken."

that last part stung because it was true. some little part of your heart thought that maybe, just maybe, if he left his girlfriend, you could come in and be everything he deserved.

but it wasn't that easy. and he wasn't single.

"elvis my boy!! elvis is in the building!!" george exclaimed as austin arrived, wearing a black suit blazer. his blonde hair was styled in a way that looked messy, but accentuated his curls. and his eyes had oceans again, overflowing with life.

but what got you was his smile. he looked genuinely happy, embracing george into a tight hug. something george wasn't used to since he was always the one initiating, but he was all for it.

and for the first time, you doubted yourself and your theory. maybe cassandra was right.

maybe he really was okay.

austin went around to evelyn, who soon grew fond of him as her little cooking mentee. austin learning dinner dishes to desserts from all the classes he attended.

"the food smells lovely evelyn," his lower tone enveloped your heart and you hated how much he really did affect you. evelyn thanked him for his kind compliment.

"austin come and sit, the table is already made." cassandra offered the chair next to you and you panicked once more.

"hi again," his voice was smooth as he maneuvered his way around you to sit at the chair on your left. something about his tone and the way he held himself now felt like he was a stranger to you. like the guy you met before wasn't him at all.

or maybe a part of you saw him as broken and thought that you could be the one to fix him.

but your heart still stuck to that possibility. that this was all a front somehow. but you had no real reason to follow that thought. all you had was that pull on your heart.

"i like your suit," you gave him a weak smile as he thanked you kindly, pressing against the little wrinkled areas and loosening his jacket and tie.

"i just came back from dropping my girlfriend off at the airport so... i'm all yours for two weeks." he exclaimed, leaning back in his chair. your heart fluttered when he said that, but you knew it wasn't what he really meant.

evelyn and george placed the food on the table, a beautiful dinner feast for all of you. cassandra followed suit with the rest of the desserts as george popped up from his chair, running to get something.

"we forgot the wine!" he screamed from the hallway, hobbling back with two bottles. he eagerly poured an outrageous amount of wine in everyone's glass, left standing to offer a toast.

"to our new friend elvis," his toothy grin wide and proud as everyone raised their glass too. austin getting flustered as he tried to turn down the compliment, but evelyn insisted.

"and to my first cooking mentee, who i am so proud of," evelyn added, squeezing austin's cheeks. he laughed and you weren't sure why that sound hurt you.

you were the last to raise your glass as everyone cheered.

something about him being a part of the group should be celebrated, but you didn't know why it felt so painful. why him being a part of your life was hurting you.

or why him being happy killed you.

maybe because you wanted to be a part of that in his life, but knowing you couldn't be.

by the time you were done flooding yourself with all your conflicting thoughts, the dinner ended and all that was left was the chocolate cake in the center of the table. and you, picking at the icing with your fork.

you didn't remember anyone saying goodbye though, which made you feel even worse. you weren't exactly sure how much wine you drank either, considering your glass was empty. but you could've sworn it was full just a few minutes ago.

and then you saw him, coming back to your table. his blazer long gone and just his white dress shirt underneath. he looked disheveled but in a good way. something that showed he had a good time with his friends, which he did. he just wasn't sure if he remembered all of it.

"you want to bring the cake upstairs?" his voice felt like a blanket around you.

you looked at him with such confusion because... why would a kitchen have an upstairs?

"upstairs? why am i going upstairs?"

"because you need to go to bed."

"but i don't want to go to your apartment."

and his cheeks flushed red at your firm decision, feeling suddenly embarrassed for what you assumed. he did offer his arms for you to hold onto though, but you were hesitant to take it.

"i'm taking you back to your bed."

you sat there quietly, like you were debating whether or not to trust him. but you couldn't feel your legs so you had no other choice. and he smiled at you as you sat there and contemplated.

it wasn't long until he made the first move, wrapping his arm around your waist to hold you up while the other hand made sure you draped your arm around his shoulder. it felt like you were floating off the ground, either you were so far gone now or he was a lot taller than you thought.

when you reached the elevator, he struggled with keeping you upright, multiple failed attempts along the way of you falling forward, which made him almost lose his balance. it was like trying to walk without knowing where to go and not feeling the ground beneath you.

austin finally made it to your door as he tried to fumble through your bag for your key, while you nodded off for a split second. he kept one hand on your head, placing you as close to his chest as possible so you wouldn't fall over again, which made you blush immensely. your arms limply fell around his neck and he didn't mind at all, not even reacting to the way you fit right into the crook of his neck. your face surrounded by the smell of his cologne and little wavy pieces of his hair. you wished you could stay here forever.

"you smell really nice austin..." your words slurring with wine in your breathe. "can i have your cologne?"

"of course you can."

he couldn't help but laugh, which felt like a sympathy in your ears.

he finally found your key, opening the door for you. he slowly let you move first as he followed suit, trying to hold on to the sliver of soberness he had left in him.

it wasn't until you saw your living room that you excitedly left the comfort of his arms and screamed at your furniture.

"oh my gosh... YOU HAVE THE SAME APARTMENT AS ME!!" you squealed, turning back around to pull him into a hug, almost knocking him back outside. he held you for a moment, convincing himself that this was the alcohol talking.

this was just the wine.

"we're in your apartment love," he remarked and you let go all of a sudden and he felt the emptiness with it.

"oh."

your voice sounded so heartbroken that he almost felt bad for smiling at you.

"then why are you in my apartment?"

"because i need to make sure you get to bed okay." the alcohol still wavering a bit in his balance as he tried to maneuver you towards what he assumed was your bedroom. and he assumed correctly.

"i can do it on my own." you protested, finding your bed covers. you felt the softness of your blanket before you collapsed onto the bed, letting out a long awaited sigh. your eyes closed as you tried to ignore him. him and your overly excited heart.

"do you want to change first?"

you perked your head up and suddenly felt the room spinning. you were adament in saying yes, but you couldn't move your legs again.

"go away. i can do it by myself." you whined, slowly getting up and then collapsing on the floor, giggling.

austin just looked at you, holding in a laugh. you tried to push him out of your room and it actually worked, but only because he fell over outside.

"and you stay outside until i'm done." you ordered, your voice stern but slurred.

getting dressed drunk was probably one of the most difficult tasks you had to do at this very moment. and you haven't drank like this since college so you were mixing which part of your shirt was meant for your arm and your head.

by the time you finally had yourself dressed, you opened the door to see austin lying on the ground. his eyes closed, sound asleep.

"austin..." you whispered, crouching over him. the alcohol making you see double for a moment before using the floor to ground you. "austin, you can't sleep here."

he fluttered his eyes open as he gazed back at you. oceans engulfing you in endless waves. his hair all messy now as he just looked at you with such intrigue. it was so inviting.

he was so inviting.

you could've done anything, but you couldn't. you knew you couldn't.

but he was just laying there, gazing up at you like he's never seen you before. like he was seeing you for the first time all over again.

you wanted to caress his cheek, play with his hair, tell him he could stay.

but you couldn't.

it broke your heart that you couldn't have him. that he was with someone else.

you mustered enough courage, enough strength for the both of you, and whispered ever so softly to him.

"thank you for taking care of me..." your words blending into each other, feeling as if you were so far away from him.

and without thinking, you let your hand fall on his cheek, moving the little strands of hair that fell onto his face. like it was something natural that you've done for years.

and he closed his eyes to your touch.

you started to tear up, pulling everything you had left in you just to smile at him. that somehow he needed reassurance for your heartbreak.

"your girlfriend is so unbelievably lucky to have you austin," your voice breaking at the end, wanting to so desperately do something. do anything.

but all you did was collapse on the floor next to him, your body feeling limp from all the alcohol. he hardly moved from where he was, your words sinking slowly into his chest.

the weight of everything settling into him.

and for the first time, you were the reason why his oceans went dry.

[softboo]

born to write the beginning and ending, forced to write the middle part.

[softboo]

A couple of fairy I spotted, near the abondaned cottage I'm staying. I didn't had my camera on me so this is my artistic rendition of the encounter.

[softboo]

love me, ever so gently - part II

pairing: austin x reader

summary: you recently moved to a new apartment, making some new eccentric friends along the way. but what you didn't expect was falling in love with a stranger. a stranger you somehow couldn't stop thinking about

words: 2.8k

warnings: more hints of domestic abuse, dark themes in relationships

author's note: soo i made a part II and i made it so quickly that it kinda blended into part III. i also want to say thank you to everyone who read part I because my heart melted. like i was already excited when it hit more than zero lol. but wow thank you so much!! it truly means the world :3 i hope you like this next part heh c:

previous part // next part

part II

you piled the books onto the cart, the last group needed for organizing before the store closed. today was pretty slow as customers came and went, but your thoughts were somewhere else. on someone else rather.

it's been almost a week since the fair and this stranger was eating away in your head. maybe some part of you wished you would see him again. but what were the odds of that happening? the days started to blend into each other and you were so afraid that if you stopped thinking about him, just even for a little bit, the memory would disappear.

the more time that passed, the less you thought he would show up again.

but you missed seeing him. you wished for anything just to talk to him just a little bit longer than the last. you felt crazy for feeling so attached to him, but there was something so pulling about him. the way he would listen to you talk about the stories you loved and hated. the way his eyes would just gaze right through you, like you were someone he had missed seeing.

oceans filled your head, the calm waters flowing through your heart. but knowing it was going to disappear just as quickly as it came.

because he was only temporary. the waters weren't yours to stay in.

the backdoor swung open and you heard george hobbling over at you, almost tipping you both off balance as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder.

"look who it is! my favorite girl!" he smiled, completely disrupting your last task before you had to close the store. he flashed a toothy grin as cassandra appeared right behind him.

"george please, you're going to fall on the poor girl." her tone annoyed, but with a hint of concern. "do me a favor and go to the storage room to get the books for the events before i throw something at you."

she shot him a glare before he waved goodbye to the both of you. cassandra came towards you, picking up a few of the novels on the cart to help you finish.

"you're still thinking about him, dear?"

you quickly turned your head to look at her, eyes widening at the sudden accusation.

"how did—?"

"sweetie, it's written all over your face. and you've had that same expression since the fair. i'm not clueless."

you gave her a weak smile, confirming exactly what she thought. you couldn't look at her now though, feeling as if she could see right through you if you did.

"am i crazy cassie?"

she let out a small chuckle, settling the last book down on its appropriate shelf. she shook her head.

"no, you're just being young. and there's nothing wrong with that." she reassured you, not realizing that she completely finished organizing the rest of your books.

"if he ever decides to show up again, then you'll have another chance with him. if not, then you learn to move on."

that last sentence was something a part of you didn't really want to accept. your heart was still holding on to that possibility. but the more days that passed since the fair, the more you wavered on your certainty.

~ ~

"there's only two new neighbors cassie... why did we make three welcome gifts?" evelyn stated, all four of you were now squeezed into your apartment, staring at the gifts on the kitchen counter.

"because the other one is for our favorite girl!" george exclaimed, jumping up to give you the last gift. cassandra swatted at his arm, glaring at him.

"you ruined the surprise." cassandra remarked, as you gave them a weak smile.

it's been almost a month now and the thought of you ever seeing him again was fading even more. you reassured them that you appreciated the surprise anyway and george pulled you into a hug.

"if i only knew it was for her, i would've baked more cookies." evelyn stated, but you truly did appreciate the gesture regardless. they all knew something was wrong for awhile, but cassandra was the only one that knew why.

"it's okay, thank you. really. i love the gift."

cassandra caressed your cheek again as evelyn added, "if anything, i can bake more tonight and stop by to drop them off."

you smiled and nodded. "i would love that."

evelyn gave you a warm smile with her rosy little cheeks. she loved cooking for all of you, even remembering the first time she gave you your personal welcome gift when you moved in. and you remember it vividly because george ate half of those cookies.

"alright let's go drop off these gifts," cassandra stated, "george and i will go downstairs. you two will go to the one across the hall."

you all held your respective gifts and walked to where you needed to go. you and evelyn approached the apartment, evelyn knocking on the door as you held onto the gift.

you could even smell the cookies inside as it fogged a bit of the plastic, knowing how much hard work evelyn put in them. george made the little welcome sign, cassandra wrote the card with all the events planned for the year, and you placed two books. each from the ones that the store no longer needed.

it took a while for someone to answer, evelyn had to knock a few times but soon enough, the door swung open and suddenly something caught in your throat.

there she was. the same dark haired woman from a month ago. you couldn't believe it, the fact that she was your new neighbor. the fact that you saw her a month later instead of him.

and the fact that she stood there, her eyes in flames as you both somehow were at fault for knocking on her door.

"how can i help you?"

her tone was dark, it almost felt like she spat at you. evelyn noticed the slight negative connotation in her voice and opened her mouth to speak, but you came in first.

"we just wanted to drop off a gift to welcome you to the building." you gritted through a fake smile and evelyn saw you tense up. she just couldn't figure out if it was from annoyance or something else.

"oh how thoughtful," her voice was so empty. there was nothing behind it other than wanting to push you both out of her apartment.

"we also added a list of events that happen in the building like a cooking class, taught by—"

"my boyfriend and i are not interested thank you."

she cut you off again and you felt that spark of a flame growing right inside your heart.

"i'll take the gift though," and the woman snatched the beautiful piece from your hands. "austin loves this kind of thing."

she gave you a big toothy grin, something that vaguely made you uneasy but also reminded you of a poorly painted clown. she didn't even say thank you before shutting the door on your faces.

you couldn't even fathom any words, just blankly stared at the closed door. you glanced over at evelyn who was as shocked as you, opening her mouth to speak.

"what a bitch."

~ ~

your mind was racing as you ate your dinner, your favorite tv show playing in the background. the thought of austin's girlfriend being your new neighbor placed a sour taste in your mouth. like you couldn't catch a breathe as the whole situation wrapped around your throat. you had no idea if austin was living with her, but if he was, you weren't sure if you could face him with her breathing down your neck.

or if she'd even allow him to be in the same vicinity as anyone else but her.

the things you saw during the fair flashed in your head, the bruise on his hand. the tight grip of her arm around his. you shook your head, doubting that that possibility could be even true.

but if it was...? you weren't sure how you would react.

a sudden knock on your door broke you from your thoughts as you slowly got up from your chair to check who it was. as you looked through the peephole, you didn't see anyone.

you hesitated for a moment before opening the door, to find something that shattered your heart into a million pieces.

your welcome gift was staring back at you from the floor. the plastic wrap was ruined and the sign was ripped. the card splattered with wine stains and the cookies looked like they were stepped on. the only thing that was missing were the books and the event page.

you had no idea what to do, all of your hard work. everyone's hard work was ruined. a kind gesture completely taken advantage of and it was fueling your hatred even more.

you tossed it to the side, gently placing as much of the gift together as you could before closing the door. you wondered if austin took those missing things. if he knew how badly his girlfriend was treating other people and if he was even aware of the hold she had on him.

maybe that part of you was right.

~ ~

you sat in your assigned seat, the second table from the center. evelyn was busy up in the front, preparing her demonstration table full of ingredients. the kitchen right behind her with all the other food items needed for their meal. you could see how nervous she was with the way she kept fidgeting the same utensils and pans, making sure it was facing a certain way.

george appeared from the kitchen entrance, carrying supply bags out so it was easier for the class to get what they needed. he was beyond ecstatic for this as he was not only going to see a huge turnout of people again, but he was excited for the secret batch of food evelyn promised she would make for them when this was over.

you noticed cassandra passing through, a sign up sheet in her hand and you noticed a compile of names, each having their own seat and assigned table.

"so why can't i look at the list of names?" you asked her when she passed your table. all she did was smile as she handed you your name tag.

"cassie, he's not going to come." you remarked and she shook her head at your negativity.

you weren't able to tell anyone about your suspicious, thinking it probably wasn't your place to begin with. it wasn't until evelyn talked about "the dark red haired bitch from 4B" that cassandra started to connect the dots.

you just weren't sure if they were connecting all the dots.

weeks passed since the incident and each passing event with him not being present made it harder to stop thinking about him. even so when he would put his name and not show up.

this was yet, another one of those times, which was why you were doubting cassandra's optimism.

"we'll see. you never know dear," she let out a soft smile, "but if he does, give him his name tag for me?"

she handed you the tag with austin written on it, just like she did for all the other events. and yet each time, your heart skyrocketed in hopes that he was actually going to show up.

soon enough, the class started and evelyn began her introduction. the turnout was quite a lot; families, some friend groups, a few couples, an empty table in the back, and you.

with one empty seat next to yours.

~ ~

you were halfway through rolling the dough when you heard the main entrance door open. you didn't really have time to look because your stupid dough wasn't flat enough.

but it wasn't until you heard the footsteps and the water that followed suit from the rain that your now empty seat was occupied.

and your heart stopped.

"hi i'm so sorry i'm late. i'm usually not like this," his voice wavered, he sounded so flustered and embarrassed. so different from when you first met him.

you finally had the courage to look at him and you saw those same calm waters in his eyes, except they weren't as blue anymore. it was muted, like a greyness overshadowing its true color.

he had a hat on that covered his wavy blonde hair and some kind of shadow near his eyes, but he no longer had a mask and you could've sworn you heard your heart beating against your ears.

you were so overwhelmed by who he actually was that no words came out so you could respond to him. a part of you was so grateful he didn't see you as he was so preoccupied with his mistake of being late.

and when he finally settled into his seat and placed his things down, he looked at the nametag you placed on his side of the table. he quickly pinned it on his sweater to hopefully catch up on what he missed.

"i'm austin," he introduced himself, hoping you would say something to him. anything.

"hi."

your voice was so meek compared to his, even when he was the one all flustered.

"how much did i miss?" his was soft, and somehow sounded like he was comforting you.

"oh um... just the mixing part. i have the dough ready, but i can't seem to..."

you stopped as you noticed yourself ramble, completely avoiding his gaze as you looked right at the roller and your very stubborn piece of dough.

you heard him chuckle and it made your heart flutter slightly.

"can i?"

you just nodded as he placed the dough in front of him, taking the roller to knead the whole piece out. it wasn't long until he flattened it to the perfect shape that he gave you a small smile. he even followed the next few instructions from evelyn, placing the dough into a pie crust pan.

"have you cooked before?" you asked him, as he noticed the way you looked extremely impressed. and something about your expression made him flustered all over again.

"not really, but i do love cooking. i even thought about becoming a chef."

"really?"

"yeah," he let out the softest little laugh, pressing against the dough to form the crust, "that's why i moved here. i wanted to take a break for awhile and learn about the things i love to do... like cooking."

"you live here?"

a part of you wished he wasn't going to say it, but you already knew his answer.

"yeah on the 4th floor, apartment 4B."

and your heart sank to the ground.

"do you live around the area too?" he asked curiously and you nodded absentmindedly.

"yeah, i think we're neighbors. i'm 4A."

and you could've sworn you saw the blueness come back in those storm covered oceans.

"really?"

"yeah..." you hesitated for a moment, debating whether or not you should say the next part, "my friend and i actually dropped off a welcome gift for you."

and the blueness left as fast as it came.

you bit your lip, scared he might react a certain way. you started to doubt yourself. what if he was the one that ruined the gift, not the girlfriend.

he paused for a moment, going quiet as he finished mending the dough in place.

and you panicked.

"i totally understand if you didn't like the gift."

"no i liked it... i liked it a lot actually."

there was something hanging in the air now and you felt this immense guilt that you ruined the whole thing. you've thought about meeting him again for months and now that the chance arose itself, it felt like you were sabatoging everything you ever wanted.

"whenever you're both done filling your pie and adding the top crust, you can go to the kitchen and place it in the oven," evelyn instructed, smiling at the both of you as she passed your table. she cut the tension between you two for just a moment before it all came crashing back again.

you filled the pie pan and topped everything with another dough crust. the silence wrapped around you two as you finished the pie completely.

"i'll put it in the oven," austin offered, but as he got up, he winced in pain, clutching at his torso.

and that was all the confirmation you needed.

"let me, it's okay."

you took the pie from him, his body settling down on the seat again. he seemed so exhausted all of a sudden, like he no longer had the energy to put up a front anymore.

and it killed you on the inside that you had to sit there and watch.

when you came back from the kitchen, you noticed he took off his hat to fix his hair.

and that's when you saw his eyes. just above his eyebrow was a bruise and few cuts, a small bandaid on his upper temple, right where the brim of the hat would be.

but what broke your heart was the way he no longer had those lights in his eyes anymore. he rubbed his face for just a moment and you saw something else stain his hands.

it was makeup.