solaceofthemartyr - Tumblr blog

[solaceofthemartyr]

Let them thunder, for I am lightening

The noises aren't burdens they are merely cheers, revolutionary taunts in recognition of my fears,

the light I shine will always erupt the envy nature of their jeers, for I am a capability acknowledged as their unreachable tier. I won't let them rewrite the qualifications of my heart, so to confuse the path from which orginated my spark. Don't try making me comfortable in your dark, I see how you attempt twisting my luminance into seeping blood for a shark. My acceptance of a whole is how I continue fighting, my acknowledgement of a holistic perception prevents feelings so tightening, their noise wants me tunnelvisioned perceiving life as a tightrope so frightening, but I won't forget all that only describes them as thunder to my lightning.

[solaceofthemartyr]

Even though it may not be understood now, I feel someday it will:

The only trick of friendship, I think, is to find people who are better than you are-not smarter, not cooler, but kinder, and more generous, and more forgiving-and then to appreciate them for what they can teach you, and to try to listen to them when they tell you something about yourself, no matter how bad-or good-it might be, and to trust them, which is the

hardest thing of all. But the best, as well." "...things get broken, and sometimes they get repaired, and in most cases, you realize that no matter what gets damaged, life rearranges itself to compensate for your loss, sometimes wonderfully." You were treated horribly. You came out on the other end. You were always you. But what was happiness but an extravagance, an impossible state to maintain, partly because it was so difficult to articulate?

[solaceofthemartyr]

😢Resonating

[solaceofthemartyr]

The ABC's of life

•Avoid negative sources, people, places, and things of bad habit. •Believe in yourself always. •Consider things from every angle •Don't give up, give in or let anything keep you down. •Enjoy life today. Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow never comes. •Family and friends are hidden treasures, connect with them to enjoy the riches. •Give more than you plan to give each day. •Hang on to your goals. •Ignore the negativity. •Just do it. •Keep on trying, no matter how hard it seems it will get easier. •Love yourself first and most, love your God always. •Make it happen. •Never let them know your worries. •Open your eyes and see more than what's around you. •Practice makes perfect. •Quitters never win, and winners never quit. •Read, study, and learn about everything important to you. •Stop procrastinating. •Take control and responsibility of your actions and responses. •Understand yourself first in order to better understand others. •Visualize it. •Want it more than anything. •X marks the spot you already left in the world. •You are unique of all God's grace. and no one can replace you.

•Zero in on your target and go for it.

[solaceofthemartyr]

Dear women

As a man, I write to you from a place of deep respect and profound humility. Raised by a single mother, a pillar of strength, resilience, and love, and as a brother of unrelated younger sisters who are still family, my life has been profoundly shaped by indomitable spirit of women. To the sisters, mothers, grandmothers, and aunts who embody the essence of womanhood through every fiber of their being, I extend my admiration and gratitude.

In a world teeming with voices and opinions, the clarity and purity of what it truly means to be a woman often seems overshadowed. Yet, it is undeniable the strength, resilience, and nurturing spirit you possess have been the bedrock of societies, the backbone of families, and the guiding light for generations.

Womanhood is not merely a label; it is a legacy. It is carried in the stories of struggle and triumph told by our grandmothers, in the silent sacrifices of mothers who put their dreams on hold so others can build theirs, and in the fierce independence of sisters and aunts who shatter glass ceilings and forge new paths.

This letter is not an attempt to fefine or confine your experience but rather acknowledge and celebrate it. In the tapestry of humanity, your threads are woven with gold shining with the wisdom of the ages, the courage of warriors, and the heart of nurturers. You embody the complexity and beauty of life itself, bringing forth life, nurturing it, and protecting it with a ferocity and love that knows no bounds.

To every woman who had ever felt unseen or undervalued, know that your essence is recognized. Your battles, both public and private, have not gone unnoticed. Your achievements, whether celebrated or silent, have not been forgotten.

This is a tribute to you, the women who navigate the complexities of existence with grace, who fight battles both big and small for the sake of those you love, and who continue to inspire with your ability to rise, time and again, from the ashes of adversity.

As a I may never fully comprehend the depth of your experience, but I dtsnd in awe of your strength and your softness. your resilience and your vulnerability all of which make you indescribably magnificent.

And on behalf of all men, to any woman I may have harmed, knowingly or unknowingly, through action or inaction, through words or silence- I extend my sincere apologies. It is a reflection of my own feelings and not a measure of your worth. And on behalf of myself in acknowledging my missteps, I commit to listening more, learning more, and doing better. For it is through understanding and respect that we can all move forward together, stronger and more unified in our shared human journey.

We, as men, must strive to create a safer world that honors, respects, and uplifts you, rather than one that disempowers or diminishes your incredible worth. This means standing against injustices, speaking out against violence and discrimination, and working diligently to dismantle the system and behaviors that have historically undernined womans rights and freedoms. It is our responsibility to ensure that the world we share is one where women are not only safe but celebrated for the incredible human beings that you are.

Thank you for being the carrie 10/10 of life, the custodians of compassion, and the architects of a better world. Your influence has been a guiding light of my journey. and for that, I am eternally grateful.

With the utmost respect and admiration, ~That one guy who tries too hard

(A man who was raised by a queen and hopes to walks beside goddesses, committed to making the world a place that honors you rightfully)

[solaceofthemartyr]

Dear human

You've got it wrong. You didn't come here to master unconditional love. That is where you came from and will return. You came here to love personal love. Universal love. Messy love. Sweaty love. Crazy love. Broken love. Whole love. Infused with divinity. Lived through the grace of stumbling. Demonstrated through the beauty of. Messing up. Often. You didn't come here to be perfect. You already are. You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous. And then to rise again into remembering. But unconditional love? Stop telling that story. Love, in truth, doesn't NEED any other adjectives. It doesn't require modifiers. It doesn't require the condition of perfection. It only asks that you show up. And do your best. That you stay present and feel fully. That you shine and fly and laugh and cry and hurt and heal and fall and get back up and play and work and live and die as YOU. It's enough. It's plenty.

[solaceofthemartyr]

It's not that I don't understand, it's that long ago I stopped caring for the sake of others in order to maintain my own sake, that of an individual.

It's not that I don't understand, it's that long ago I stopped caring for the sake of others in order to maintain my own sake, that of an individual.

I've found a liberating position as a person living this life. And that is I sort of gave up on the human race, and gave up on the "American dream" and cultural and nature, and decided that I didn't care about the outcome. And that has given me a lot of freedom from sort of a distant platform to be sort of amused. To watch the whole thing with a combination of wonder and pity. Over a long time throughout the years, even since I was a kid, I've tried putting that into words without fully realizing that was the outcome in both mind and heart I had reached. Since I was young, I stopped having an emotional stake as to whether or not this experiment with human beings worked, I have long truly stopped caring. I have loved people as I met them one by one. People are wonderful as individuals. You see the whole universe in their eyes of you just look carefully. But as soon as they begin to group, soon as they begin to clot. When there are five of them, or ten, even in groups small as two, they begin to change. They sacrifice the beauty of the individual for the sake of the group. Since I was I kid, I decided it was all in the control of groups, whether it's business, religion, political people or what. And I long ago distanced myself from wishing for a good outcome. Let it do what it's going to do, and I'll enjoy it as entertainment. Shrug it off as best I can, not take it personally, and though I do not accept it, I expect it.

It took me a long time to understand that not everyone is capable of critical thought. It's not that they refuse to critically consider issues, they simply can't. Their brain is not built that way. But now that I do understand this, it's improved my quality of life. I recognize pretty quickly now whether or not you're even capable of critically engaging a subject as opposed to screaming your preset knee jerk position.

I have more preferable ways to feel about things to think about, and things to think about ways I feel

[solaceofthemartyr]

Word of advice

People who immediately respond to your text are not desperate. People who immediately answer your call are not desperate. People who are always there for you when you need them are not always jobless or even free. Maybe they understand how it feels to be ignored. Maybe they know what it feels like to be left alone. Because maybe they were left alone when they needed someone. Maybe they love you. Maybe they made you their priority. Stop taking us for granted, please. Never lose us, we are the true values of life.

[solaceofthemartyr]

For all of the self sabotagers in relationships.

When you're use to unhealthy relationships:

Stability feels uncertain Peace feels boring calm feels like something is missing Kindness feels like there's no spark.

NOW. You can choose to consciously appreciate the stability, peace, calm and kindness until it becomes your new healthy habit. OR 🚫☢️☣️❌️🚩🚩🚩❗️❗️❗️☠️ You can allow old habit to cause you to self sabotage and create drama just so things feel normal again😕

Choose wisely😐

[solaceofthemartyr]

Just came across this page, watched a couple of videos and the energy it sent through me…. Feels shocking🤯 I had NO IDEA such thinking and acknowledgement actually existed🤯 I feel like a new spark of hope for the human race just ignited within me🤯🤯

[solaceofthemartyr]

I was unintentionally toxic to some for the same reason I was a blessing to others, and that is people are so use to others being indirect and phony that clear , direct communication appears aggressive. And so some I healed, others I hurt. I'm willing to admit that I wasn't always correct. I am an overly emotional unemotional clingy but distant private person who likes to overshare my mental health issues at any moment. There's a difference between a person who by making a mistake, and a person who hurts you by continuing a pattern. Mistakes can be forgiven, patterns should be broken. Though others in their own ways have pointed out I am nowhere near up to preferred standards, I acknowledge I am only human and so am ever a work in progress. Most people don't want to be part of the process, they just want to be part of the outcome. But the process is where you figure out who is worth being part of the outcome.

[solaceofthemartyr]

Story of my life

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CwIflABMV7Z/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

[solaceofthemartyr]

No rest from the wicked

It's night like this that I can tell when my mental health is declining. When I won't sleep. I can be easily woken, but it's when nothing wakes me and I'm up on my own, when I've only had a couple of hours and don't want to sleep. When the words come to mind while staring outward "If I had someplace to go right now, I would".. I just realized that one of my suicide plans is actually very close financially 🤔 I would tell therapists along the years that I never attempted suicide because I didn't have the wanted means to. That yes, I did have a plan, but not the funds🤦🏿‍♂️ See, first I don't want to be found, as well would prefer it be painless. Soooooo, I was thinking getting some drugs, not sure what type, gonna ask around about what can keep you going yet not aware. Then, I need a place to disappear. So, I was considering a swamp, because people can go missing in those all the time, right? So! Ummm, passport for plane, ticket to a place with a large easy access swamp with like gators, ya know for body disposal. And DRUGS! Pills🤔 Ok, so the idea is to acquire the drugs after getting off the plane... OH! And, ummm scuba gear!! Just the tank and goggles though. Head to a swamp, take a bunch of drugs, put on gear, walk into swamp 😌 Lol, reach the bottom before being eaten perhaps and just walk. Drugs kick in and my mind is gone, no pain, as I either drown or do whatever to end up eaten and disappeared 😌 Ooooo, this is.. What month is this. September? October, November, December 🤔 I COULD BE GONE BEFORE NEXT YEAR🤯😮 .....🥲😌, I'm a genius🙃

[solaceofthemartyr]

How to try sleeping the day away *UNHEALTHY MENTAL WARNING*

It's not about focusing on the negative, it's more so about reflecting on the missing positive. Now.. There will ALWAYS be those who say to focus on what has helped them, and that is no different than unsolicited advice. Some people calm from smoking, and others cough and feel ill from the smoke. Same as how some people feel better going for a walk, and others feel like slitting their own throats just from the sight of a couple having together.. Because they feel hey will never have that again.

SO. It begins with reflecting on YOUR felt reasons for wanting to do things, and why you feel you can not enjoy those things, hence why you do not.

It's not about feeling hurt, it's about acknowledging the empty, and attempting to live with it. One day at a time. Not hope, hope hurts too much. The ups and downs. Not hope. Just a line. Just a straight line. Day to day.

Actually.. I'm awake so.. This obviously won't help at all.

[solaceofthemartyr]

True love is a Debauchery tea party:

Side by side,

He loves fighting with her back to back against all in their way.

Ride or die,

while hand in hand no force can permanently take them away.

Misunderstandings in their language is a daily class, and though they fall behind in sessions it's still just show up to pass.

Is it arguing if it's because with eachother they're comfortable enough to sass?

Is it actually work if supporting eachother is the priority task?

Relationships are ten percent luck

Twenty percent heal💝

Fifteen percent concentrated power of will

Five percent push

Fifty percent shove

And one hundred percent reason we keep falling in love❤

With not without,

is how they go about to face their misguided ways.

Without a doubt,

with her is the only place he's felt safe to stay.

May their patience be the principle overseeing the teachers, that teach them their intentions to understand actions are acts of love meant to reach them. They're not at war with eachother but what toxically plagues at them deeper. While striving to remember while they can't control how their opposition opposes, that they can still control their demeanor❣

Relationships are ten percent luck

Twenty percent heal💝

Fifteen percent concentrated power of will

Five percent push

Fifty percent shove

And one hundred percent reason we keep falling in love❤

💐🌸🌺🌹

[solaceofthemartyr]

If you can't say you like what you like, don't you think it might be the world and not you that's wrong? https://www.instagram.com/p/CMGH4aigq0p/?igshid=13ueyzxz2yh7z

[solaceofthemartyr]

If it's within your grasp, if you know where it is and who it's with, then you should run to it, grasp it and never let it go.🦥 https://www.instagram.com/p/CMFh5LYA8A0/?igshid=1v4zzodxslam6