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guys if i don't get the honey chipotle fried mozzarella from chilis i'm gonna FREAK

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not to say that i can't do this, i just don't exercise my free will correctly

sometimes i wish i could shoot boba out of a straw at people like a blowdart

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sometimes i wish i could shoot boba out of a straw at people like a blowdart

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*watching someone shake ferociously from a panic attack* what’s shakin bacon

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laser hair removal surgery but I’m strapped down to the table like a secrets agent who’s about to meet their untimely demise

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TF2 SEVENTH COMIC DROP OMGGGGG!!!!!

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I need her carnally

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sigh I love my friends. yes I will watch you when you’re intoxicated. yes I will explain the movie that we’re watching to you. yes I will get your drink and make you food. yes I will put you to bed and find relaxing music to help you sleep. sobriety and the satisfaction of seeing a room full of well fed and snoozing friends is a joy like no other

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IM GOING TO RIP MY HAIR OUT!!!!!

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I’m completely blazed rn and I found this template from @berserkerzodd so enjoy my brain at it’s purest form

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🎃👻🦇 Red Riding Hood and Big Bad Wolf are out for trick or treat season !!

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should i keep writing for sabes? im gonna be so fr it would be hella inconsistent but if that's what the people want it's what the people get

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Victoria pulled an autistic gf

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hey… so… I got bored and i wrote an itty bitty drabble that came to my mind..

it’s basically a fem!Sabretooth x regenerative/healing factor mutant!reader. I tried to keep it gender neutral ishhh

you have been warned!! never posting my writing and there’s cannibalism!!

“Motherfucker…” I winced weakly. When we started, my knuckles had gone white from gripping the table I was strewn across. But now, I felt too woozy to even move. My fingers had gone numb, every receptor in my body now focused on the woman tearing into my chest cavity. 

My vision was fuzzy, and to be frank, I could barely see her. She appeared to be more of a blurry shape, but the searing pain that would run through every vein kept me awake. Said white hot agony would intermingle with dull throbbing, interchanging at an unpredictable rate. I could barely make out the scene of my innards sprawled out on the surface beneath me. It had been freezing when I first laid upon it, but it easily warmed up. Or, it was still cold, and I just couldn’t feel it. My blood was warm, possibly warm enough to engulf my body in a blanket of heat. 

I could see Sabretooth’s body hunched over my own, hands and mouth beyond occupied. From what I could make out of her face, her mouth was covered in blood. My blood. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t at least a little attractive. What was possibly more attractive, was the fact that she had my stomach in her mouth, tearing into it with pearly white teeth. I could feel the initial pinpricks, then the sinking of each canine. The worst part was the tear, despite it only happening for a few seconds. I watched the movement of her throat, mesmerized by the simple motion of her swallowing. I couldn’t tell if I was even blinking, I could’ve been staring. 

“You’re like a vulture,” I managed to quip, earning a deep chuckle from her. I loved her laugh. I loved a lot of things about her. I want to say she loved me too- but I could never be sure. She never said it to me, but I could feel it. She finally met my eyes, wiping her mouth and swallowing the last chunks of meat in her mouth. 

“And you, a rotting cow carcass on the savanna.” She purred, the vibrations of her throat gently rattling my exposed bones. I could already feel my liver starting to replenish itself, much like the rest of my body. Healing never hurt, but it occasionally it could sometimes sentence me to more cannibalistic suffering. Not that I’d ever fight her off for it. Was it painful to be ripped apart, and re-ripped apart, only for my organs to be devoured by a beast? Absolutely. It never got easier. But was it even more pleasurable to watch the satisfaction in her eyes, purely from all of my bloodshed? .. Yeah. It’s good enough for me. She might as well be going down on me. Give that it’s my intestines instead of my nethers, but I’ll take what I can get. 

Besides, when I heal, I might get a reward. It’s always 50/50. But she seems to be in a good mood, so I can only cross my fingers that it won’t be another night of altruism. I could hear the clicking of my ribs snapping back into place, as my vision slowly came back into focus. I couldn’t yet sit up on my own, so she sat me up, a rough hand supporting my spine. 

“Thank you, darlin’,” She spoke lowly, one of her claws trailing up each bump in my invertebrate. “You’re too sweet to me.” Sabretooth brought a hand to my cheek, gingerly caressing it with her thumb. Then, with a talon-like claw, dragged a clean slice through my face. Blood slowly babbled up, a single droplet spilling from the slit. She wiped it, bringing it to her tongue and licking it off. “Once you heal, I’ll make sure to take real good care of ya.”

What a woman..

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I don’t CARE that she’s a cannibal!! i have TWO kidneys for a REASON!!

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THIS IS LITERALLY EVERYTHING IVE EVER DREAMED ABOUT. THANK YOU SO MUCH I OWE YOU MY LIFE

butch wolverine this, butch wolverine that.

WHERE is butch SABRETOOTH?? Don't get me wrong, I love every fem Logan I find. but WHERE is my fem Victor?? fanfic writers and artists I BEG of you to hear my plea

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I think this is my favorite Sabretooth and Mystique moment in the comics ever. And one of my favorite spy fiction moments.