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Rotating laios/kabru and kabru/mithrun in my head and wondering if I can get to laios/kabru mithrun...

I like kabru/mithrun mainly because the idea of mithrun realising that he desires something is soooooo fun. Like him just having this little lightbulb moment of 'oh no I want this' and then pursuing it. Particularly if it's a queer relationship, and the reason he's able to get there is that it was a desire so deeply repressed when he was part of actual elf society that he never acknowledged it and so the demon never found it. And then you know once he did realise it was there, he'd pursue it with that super intense single minded focus... Extremely good imo. And kabru would be soooooo twitchy and paranoid about it, wondering what mithrun's angle was and what the consequences would be, so focused on everyone else's feelings that he hardly notices his own.

But then on the other hand laios and kabru... They're narrative foils. They complete each other. Kabru has to learn to eat and understand monsters, and laios has to care about people. They spend the rest of their lives together, king and counsellor. They can each offer the other genuine love and care in a way that both are desperate for and have been denied. Kabru doesn't mind explaining to laios the things he doesn't understand, and conversely laios can help kabru to shed unnecessary social constructs and be more himself. You know that when they start smooching kabru would be like "we have to be careful, this could damage your reputation as king if it gets out" and laios would be like "why? Homosexual behaviour is found in the majority of animal and monster species..." (and then talks for like half an hour before kabru can get him to go back to kissing).

And there's a version of this in my head that makes me think of that incredible sasuke and gaara comic, where laios and mithrun are kabru's boyfriends who are not really friends... Except that they do actually have quite a lot in common and I think if they ever sat down and talked they would get on really well. So over time they probably do all grow closer and maybe eventually mithrun is like damn these new desires keep piling up and we get some good three way smooches.

Do you see my vision???

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drew these instead of finishing bg3 (i don’t want the game to end)

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Me: *bolts awake at 3 AM* BALDUR'S GATE 3 AU WHERE, THROUGH DIMENSIONAL SHENANIGANS, KRATOS ENDS UP OCCUPYING THE ROLE OF TAV!

THINK OF IT! JUST THINK OF IT!

Companion: So any that's how that God/Being of incredible power ruined my life.

Kratos, noted Godslayer, planning how he's going to destroy yet another pantheon for these weird little mortals he's found himself in charge of: Tell me more.

*later*

Gale and Astarion: Becoming a God would fix me, I promise!

Kratos: *knocks their heads together like the Three Stooges* No.

His favorite companion is actually Jaheira because she's one of the only ones who knows how to shut the fuck up and he bonds with her and Minthara over shitty jokes and grunts of displeasure.

Mizora takes one look at him, recognizes that Wyll and Karlach are now hanging with THE KRATOS and hides in the depths of Avernus for the rest of the game.

He is hella distrustful of Selune when Shadowheart starts worshiping her instead of Shar but Dame Aylin seems alright so he's okay with it for now even if he's watching every statue of Selune they pass with a suspicious eye.

Lae'zel is now his daughter. He takes one look at this angry, disagreeable little murder-hobo and immediately starts carrying her around in a baby-backpack even as she tries to bite his face off like a feral racoon.

He's actually hella sympathetic towards Ketheric Thorm because... like... yeah...

His endgame is leading a crusade in Avernus to kill Zariel with Karlach, Wyll, Minthara, Dame Aylin and Isobel with him. And once Zariel is dead, Shar, Mystra, and Vlaakith are next on his list.

DO YOU SEE MY VISION?! DO YOU?! KRATOS BEING THE AWKWARD LEADER OF THESE LITTLE MORTAL FREAKS HE SEES A LITTLE BIT OF HIMSELF IN ALL OF THEM AND DECIDES TO HELP THEM WITH ALL 5 OF HIS B+ PARENTING SKILLS!

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I make no apologies for this nonsense, aka, what if the Baldur's Gate characters ended up in Elden Ring. Mostly this is an exorcism for the two hyperfixations ping-ponging around my head right now.

The fallen leaves tell a story. Six strangers came to our home, across the fog, the Lands Between. In the last days before the Shattering. And live still, in these days of abandonment by the Greater Will, when all that was gold has been tarnished.

Sit with me a while, stranger. I am in addition to being a merchant a collector of tales, and no tale lasts without a listener. And it may be that if you are lucky, or your travels take you far afield, you will chance upon one of the six whose stories I am about to relate.

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More work call doodles (I have longfic brain rot, why do you ask)

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Doodled something while on work calls. This isn't an art blog for obvious reasons, but I couldn't resist. If I'd had an eraser I would have had less problems, but mine has escaped.

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companions crying compilation

the more depressing sequel to this. the dialogue labels them as simply 'Sob' and there's 3 variations for everyone, although to me minthara's doesn't really sound like her to me so she might have placeholder audio (or my ears could just be deceiving me)

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by the time I was 10000 words into Watch the stars, that tremble with love I was well into act 2. In this stupid fic, I am on... day 3.

To be fair it's a lot more frontloaded with exposition, and there are a bunch of moving parts I need to set up, and it's not going to play out exactly like a regular playthrough so there's more work to be done on establishing stakes... but still.

I can't tell if it's going to end up getting much much faster once I get that set up out of the way, or if it's going to end up being like 100k lol. And given that I refuse to post these things before they're finished, in case I think of a good idea and need to seed it backwards, idk. It'll be out in like a month, probably.

(For anyone who would like a little tease of the premise, I will say... time loop.)

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I'm plotting a new longfic... save me... (It's more baldur's gate, but I won't say more than that, just in case I run out of steam and it doesn't come to pass)

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A very spicy Tav/Astarion/Halsin fic

Astarion and Tav go to visit Halsin in Reithwin, and see if he's still interested in being part of a relationship a year after the events of the game. They have a straightforward vision of how it will work out, but no one has really reckoned with the potential complications of intimacy, and some unexpected problems arise. - This fic is a sequel to Watch the stars, that tremble with love, the very long fic that I wrote about Tav and Astarion, but it can also be read as a stand-alone, and was written with that in mind. Crucial things that change between the end of the game and the start of this fic are summarised in the notes. - I fully intended it being fluffy pwp when I started, but I can never resist the allure of an emotional complication.

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THE FIC IS COMPLETE

You may click the link to receive a novel length story where Tav is a paladin, everyone has a lot of baggage, and things play out past the end of the game. It features:

a lot of Astarion's siblings,

a quest to figure out how to cure not just Astarion but all 7000 spawn.

an important song and an important poem, but thankfully not recited at length.

a trial by combat,

a lich,

and a happy ending.

Chapter nine is here:

And if you still need persuading, you can have one of my favourite bits from the story:

"I'll be gone for three days, probably. Four at most. I will come back to you." To Astarion's surprise, Tav knelt in front of him, as she had once knelt in front of Lae'zel, over a month ago. As though she were a knight swearing to her lord. "I give you my oath that no matter what happens to me, I will use every ounce of my strength to find you again or die in the attempt. I will not be kept from your side unless I am forced by some power so great that I cannot fight it with wits or sword or holy power. Do not fear for me. Know that I am with you, even in my absence." She reached out, took his hand and kissed it.

"What on earth prompted that? Now I feel more like you're secretly sneaking off to fight a dragon."

"I saw it in a book once, and I've always wanted to do it. I thought it was terribly romantic. And it makes me feel a bit better. Since I really don't want to leave."

"Well it's nice to know that you care. I promise to pine tragically for you in your absence. Gaze longingly out of windows, embroider a tapestry about your exploits, things of that nature."

"You can do whatever you like. Just be here when I get back." She caught his face in both hands and kissed him, and then she went back to the camp, got her pack, and left.

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Chapter 8! The penultimate chapter.

Autumn all the way to Waterdeep - Tav plays her hand - Astarion says no - a recipe for biscuits - a party invitation - leave the most difficult quest until last - the cavern city - Tav's guilt

Tomorrow: Astarion wakes up - words that change someone's life - Astarion thinks about learning to knit - plans for the future - the meaning of a name - the sun rises

Ten nights spent in a city the size of Waterdeep was a pleasing prospect. With nothing to do but wait, Astarion had bountiful opportunities to wheedle Tav into mischief and fun. They went shopping and bought the first new clothes either of them had had in months. Tav would wear an old sack if he let her, and habitually patched and repatched clothes until they were so worn they were practically transparent, and barely fit to be rags. One of his permanent chores was caring for their wardrobes, so he was painfully aware of just how little she minded what she looked like. But Astarion had standards, and no lover of his was going to wander around looking like a ruffian if he could help it. Tav bore it all with her typical good-natured patience, obligingly changing into everything he pressed her to try on. She was particularly suited to high-collared doublets and close-fitting jerkins, clothes that emphasised her height and stature and the length of her legs.

When she was attired to his satisfaction, and he had taken the clothing back to the inn to make minute but critical adjustments - Tav watched over his shoulder with admiring curiosity, and praised the neatness of his stitches - they went to the opera. In fact they went twice, once as paying guests, and then once sneaking in to sit in the rafters, as Astarion had done when he was a spawn.

"Isn't it marvellous?" he said to her as they were leaving. "People in operas are always killing each other, dying stupidly for love, or making absolute fools of themselves. It's the full breadth of the human experience."

"It was very good," Tav said sincerely. "Although if I had been in Yosara's place, I would have married Caseon instead of pining after Derwil."

"Tav," Astarion said, appalled. "You don't have an ounce of romance in your whole body."

"I'm lucky that my heart is my own," Tav said, "but she was in a position where the lives and happiness of many people would have been served by agreeing to the marriage. It just seems irresponsible to not even acknowledge that."

"You're doing it again," Astarion said. "I am going to have to stitch 'don't set yourself on fire to keep other people warm' on all your clothing, so that you read it regularly. Maybe then it will finally sink into that skull of yours."

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Chapter seven! The final third begins

46k out of 60k posted, hell yeah.

Featuring:

A trial is held - the cruelty of mercy - the saddest song Tav knows - a god with common sense? - someone else arrives - Astarion takes notes

Tomorrow:

Autumn all the way to Waterdeep - Tav plays her hand - Astarion says no - a recipe for biscuits - a party invitation - leave the most difficult quest until last - the cavern city - Tav's guilt

"Regret, darker than a moonless night. Tar-black poison, life swallower. The red corona of a never-ending eclipse." The voice cracked, broke, stopped. An indrawn breath. "Folly of my days, the deaths on the hill. My young men and their horses, bleeding into the green grass. The countless lives blotted out. No more will Aldrea ring with music. The lute strings have all snapped, the reeds of the pipes are broken. Only the wind makes noise in the streets now. The gold coins I hoarded shine endlessly, but no one spends them."

Tav's voice broke off again. Astarion reached the crest of the hill and saw her. She was sitting as she had sat the night they'd had the fight in the Underdark, her legs tucked under her, her back straight, her hands in her lap. A posture of meditation and penance. He could not see her face clearly, but he did not need to.

Quietly, he sat down. He wasn't sure if she'd seen him or not. If she had, she gave no sign of it. She kept singing, not sweetly but as clearly as she could, stopping when she needed to draw breath, and then continuing. The song was a lament, and each syllable was drawn out as long as possible, rising slowly and falling lowly. It was ugly, and it was very beautiful.

He wasn't sure how long he sat listening to her. By the time she was done, his muscles were cramped and sore, and hers must have been more so, because she wobbled when she moved.

"That song," she said hoarsely, "is called the Weeping of the King of Aldrea. It was written after he sent the men of the city to die in a pointless war. It is the saddest song I know."

"It would be easier to hate you," Astarion said thoughtfully, "if you weren't always so hard on yourself."

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CHAPTER 6, IS HERE

Thank god I wrote this ahead of time because I am the most tired tonight, just posting was almost beyond me.

Featuring:

Tav goes on a solo mission - the delights of sibling bonding time - the stone skipping queen - a knife to the guts - the woman with four wives - a feast without food - Astarion has opinions on poetry

Tomorrow:

A trial is held - the cruelty of mercy - the saddest song Tav knows - a god with common sense? - someone else arrives - Astarion takes notes

"And you know," Astarion said at last, "if you want to keep destroying yourself, brother dearest, that's fine by me. But you should at least know what the other choices you have are."

"I hate you, Astarion," Petras said heavily. "I think I always will. It's been too long, and there's too much bad blood. I hate that no one will ever know me as well as you do."

"Isn't that charming? We feel exactly the same! This must be the deep sibling connection I've heard people talk about."

Petras snorted. "Whatever I do next, it won't be because of you. I want you to know that now."

"I'll embroider it onto my next handkerchief. I'm going to need a new one, since I had to use my current one to clean up these scratches you gave me."

Astarion stood up, brushed himself off, and walked away with his heart light. It felt good to know that he didn't have to wallow in sticky sentimentality to get his point across. There was something so refreshing about a good, old-fashioned, spiteful grudge. Tav wouldn't understand, he knew, but he thought he'd tell Shadowheart about it whenever they saw her again.

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Chapter 5 is posted and I am free from canon :3

Featuring:

Into the underdark - Tav tells a story - oak trees and ivy - what it means to want something - Tav gets a new name - Astarion isn't a bard, but it doesn't really matter - unexpected hospitality

Tomorrow

Tav goes on a solo mission - the delights of sibling bonding time - the stone skipping queen - a knife to the guts - the woman with four wives - a feast without food - Astarion has opinions on poetry

It was strange, Astarion thought, travelling without a world-ending crisis hanging over their heads. The time between the crash of the nautiloid and the death of the Netherbrain had been so frantic, so intense, that it had felt totally disconnected from his old life. But he was beginning to realise that his confinement in Baldur's Gate, under Cazador's thumb, was actually finished. He was free.

For Tav, this was a return to what she'd always been doing. For him, it was totally new. He was glad to have her there, but he sometimes wished she was a little more out of her element. Just so that the disparity between them would be less severe. In some ways, she behaved as though she were travelling alone. It wasn't that she was cold, or unresponsive, but she didn't expect anything of him. If he didn't actively pitch in, she would make the camp, light the fire, prepare her food, clean up, offer him blood, all without asking for or expecting help. And he couldn't even pick a fight with her about it. She was grateful whenever he did help, said thank you, and praised his skills. She just didn't rely on him.

No wonder she'd become their leader so naturally. On top of her charisma, she had the quality of being entirely self-contained. Somewhere inside her there was an endless well of fuel, a furnace that rivalled poor Karlach's heart, only Tav's was made of oaths and endurance and discipline. She's like an oak tree, Astarion thought rather bitterly, splendid and solitary and perfectly fine alone. And I'm like ivy, clinging to her and feeding off her and weighing her down. It was an ugly thought, but he couldn't stop himself from feeling it. It ate at him, and as the days went by and they delved deeper into the Underdark, the weight of it only grew heavier.

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Chapter 4 arrives

Featuring:

A cold and holy fury - I never saw a man who looked so wistfully at the day (Astarion is Oscar Wilde coded) - waiting in hope or fear - the limits of what can be done - a picnic and a fight - the hourglass runs out of sand - plans for the future

Tomorrow:

Into the underdark - Tav tells a story - oak trees and ivy - what it means to want something - Tav gets a new name - Astarion isn't a bard, but it doesn't really matter - unexpected hospitality

They crept back to the inn in the early morning, and got a few hours sleep, and then trouble woke them up. Trouble was called Orin, and she shattered any mote of peace they might have had. Suddenly they were on the clock. Lae'zel had been taken, without any of them even noticing.

The woman who had loved Astarion so open-heartedly last night, who had kissed every scar on his back and bowed before him as if he were an altar to her goddess, disappeared. Eilistraee's paladin took her place. They made plans hastily, and then it was off to the Steel Watch Foundry. That was hell, and worse than hell was Gortash, and worse than Gortash was the conversation Tav and Karlach had over his corpse. Astarion wanted to be angry at Karlach, for making Tav agonise over what was right in a way he had never seen, and he couldn't be, because he found he loved Karlach too much to be anything other than grief-stricken. There was no good choice for her, no good choice for any of them. And there was no time.

Tav made the journey down to the temple of murder and killed Orin's grandfather, the famous Bhaalspawn Sarevok, with absolutely no compunction. Then she cleaved a bloody path to Orin herself, and laid her to waste too.

Astarion knew it was costing her. He could see the shadows under her eyes deepening, the tension in her muscles knotting. He told her to stop giving him blood, and she refused. The oaths she had bound herself with were on fire, burning her up in their holy flame.

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Chapter 3 is up

Including:

- A dream of gold and green and blue - acceptable levels of neck trauma - what goodness is - the limits of truth - paladins have bad taste - clerics make the worst enemies

Tomorrow:

A clean and holy fury - I never saw a man who looked so wistfully at the sky (Astarion is Oscar Wilde coded) - waiting in hope or fear - even paladins have limits - a picnic and a fight - the hourglass runs out of sand - plans for the future

He watched her leave, and wondered when he'd started to find her beautiful. Not a conventional beauty. Affection had not made him that foolish. But like a storm-swept sea or a towering mountain, you couldn't look at her without being awed.

It slipped out the next morning. She came over to update him on their plans for the day - rescuing Jaheira's friend Minsc was next on the agenda - and he said "Hello, beautiful," without really thinking about it. To his surprise, she blushed.

"You don't need to charm me with false flattery," she said. "I know you like me well enough."

"False? Darling, you wound me. Is it so impossible that I might appreciate your looks?"

She hesitated a moment, then squared her shoulders as she replied. "No, you're right. I have no reason to doubt you, and it's rude of me to impugn your honour without cause. I just don't typically think of myself that way."

"Well now you can start," Astarion said, more amused by how effective sincerity was as an argument tactic than anything else. He'd have to remember that for the future.