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speedhump3000 · 2 months

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For those of you who may think I'm bluffing, here's bilbo baggins and Freddy fazbear and the goal was to make them kiss.

Don't come at me, this was a request and it sparked this whole blog experiment. None of my shit is meant to be taken seriously.

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Bilbo baggins quietly snuck through the darkened halls. He wasn't sure what sort of darkened halls they were. The last time he had snuck so carefully and fearfully through something else's home it was a dragon and he had nearly been barbecued. Now he had fell through a terrible magical pool and gone to somewhere else… sometime else.

He had by some miracle been able to read the language of this world, but he didn't understand the words. What was a Freddy Fazbear and why was it so popular? He had landed outside a building dedicated to the creature. There was no other shelter and the night was dark and raining…

Bilbo nearly jumped out of his skin when the lights appeared so suddenly with music. He scrambled behind a table as the huge, 9 foot tall mechanical beasts sprang to life.

He stayed behind the table, watching curiously…

—--

Freddy sprang to life once more. The spirit of the child long since faded and gone, leaving behind a living robot. The emotions, the despair, the bleeding of human emotion kept the living metal alive after the spirit faded and gone.

And so when Freddy awoke again after too long of a sleep, he stomped slowly down from the stage…

The slow plodding steps shook the floor, shaking dust down from the surroundings. Who was it that disturbed his slumber? And how did they find such a lonely and desolate place?

Freddy nearly missed him. But there was a small person. Adult likely, but very small… small but grown and innocent to where he was. The emotions he sent out had some fear but more curiosity.

—--

Bilbo saw this huge creature… but he wasn't as big as a dragon. He was strange and metallic and furred… and curious. Such a strange being…

Bilbo stood before the huge creature who shook the building and stared down at him.

He decided to be brave. He had stood against the dragon of the lonely mountain. He had survived the war that followed.

He reached up and touched the beast.

“Who and what are you? Why are you in this dusty and lonely place when you have such lights and music and joy?”

The beast, this Freddy that the building seemed to be dedicated to, leaned down and studied Bilbo carefully. It seemed to hold a strange emotion in its eyes.

Freddy looked where Bilbo was touching, and Bilbo only then noticed where in the Beast he was touching. Being he was a hobbit and this humanoid beast was so much taller, he was touching the Beasts nether region.

Blushing suddenly he withdraws his hand. Freddy seemed to go back to studying Bilbo…

—-

Freddy got more emotion from the small man. Heat and embarrassment. And something within Freddy stirred that had never stirred before the fading of the old murdered soul. Also a heat and curiosity…

He leaned down. The small man fell backwards, being startled. But Freddy moved more slowly, and tried to appear less threatening. He wanted to understand what he was feeling. And he could feel the emotions from the small man.

He leaned in carefully and made sure to be gentle…

—-

Bilbo had no idea how and why this occurred…. Yet it was. It has been decades since he had any such contact… and he found he missed it. Though this was sudden and strange, the lips somewhat furred and cold… but he could feel almost a warm breath. A gentler heat than the dragon but a stronger heat than a man. Like the breath of hell, yet tempting enough to endure the alien sensation. He decided to let the magic go where it would. And he would follow it. Certainly this would be a better experience than those dreadfully long and deadly adventures…

#crack #crackship #bad writing #fanfic #fanfiction #bilbo baggins #freddy fazbear #kiss

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