i’m so evil and twisted that a scary pumpkin just looks normal to me
Last active 60 minutes ago
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Text
waiter: how many?
me: i’m eating for two
waiter: oh congratulations! how far along are you?
me: about a year and a half
waiter: …what?
me, patting my abdominal region fondly: yep, she’s goin’ strong.
the tape worm in my intestines: get the fettuccini alfredo
0 notes
Text
me: if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all.
my parrot: caw caw
me:

1 note
·
View note
Text
she fujo on my shi till i yaoi
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
having a lot of fun redrawing memes as tortles
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
can anyone with dentures please take their teeth out and put a lightbulb in their mouth, i wanna know if they can pull the lightbulb back out without it breaking please
0 notes
Text
billford animatic i made to the song 'confrontation'! ^^
59K notes
·
View notes
Text
my dentist said my wisdom teeth were like pearls, my mouth is an oyster
0 notes
Text
I FOGOT GYAT
listen closely , i dont. find sigma skibidi toilet fanum tax rizz language funny, i just think it’s quite skibidi to be a sigma and use my ultra rizz abilities to talk to the youth. do i know what i’m saying? no. seeing the light die in people’s eyes as i say utter brain rot terms gives me a rush of joy comparable to passing an exam with flying colors. yeah… schadenfreude is real and i have it. i’m the all time champ of the international mewing competition, forklift certified. are you sus of me????? i can have you executed because of my connections to high places. i’m aciflany fighting off sleep right now so i don’t know if i’ll even remmebrtberer righting this post. if you kneow me in fella life no you don’t and i will bite you and give you rabies. what’re you gonan do about it?? nothing, i am leagues bette r than you and can crush you like an isngiinsoifiancgt bug. that’s right, you are nothing compared to me and my absolute power, god tried ban ning me from this severe because i was too op for him, called me a fail rper cuz i could dodged all this atatcks. 1v1 me god i’m gonna skib it all i got
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
listen closely , i dont. find sigma skibidi toilet fanum tax rizz language funny, i just think it’s quite skibidi to be a sigma and use my ultra rizz abilities to talk to the youth. do i know what i’m saying? no. seeing the light die in people’s eyes as i say utter brain rot terms gives me a rush of joy comparable to passing an exam with flying colors. yeah… schadenfreude is real and i have it. i’m the all time champ of the international mewing competition, forklift certified. are you sus of me????? i can have you executed because of my connections to high places. i’m aciflany fighting off sleep right now so i don’t know if i’ll even remmebrtberer righting this post. if you kneow me in fella life no you don’t and i will bite you and give you rabies. what’re you gonan do about it?? nothing, i am leagues bette r than you and can crush you like an isngiinsoifiancgt bug. that’s right, you are nothing compared to me and my absolute power, god tried ban ning me from this severe because i was too op for him, called me a fail rper cuz i could dodged all this atatcks. 1v1 me god i’m gonna skib it all i got
#skibidi toilet#rizz#fanum tax#the brainrot is real#brainrot#brian rot#i like making tags#the colors are#so cool#ehe he i’m so among us#orangutans suck#ed sheeran sucks#politics suck#i love cats#cats are the best#i don’t like old people#old people are old#fr#dark humor#sigma
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
anyone else remember this book
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
that one guy who got tons of plastic surgery to look like a cat would’ve thrived if he was sent back in time to ancient Egypt.
1 note
·
View note
Text
For 153 days, we’ve seen Palestinians taking care of not only fellow humans by sharing food with each other, helping save people from under the rubble, carrying random bloody strangers to hospitals, and lending a helping hand at any given, but we’ve also seen them, constantly, taking care of animals during the genocide.
28K notes
·
View notes
Text
jesus christ when he meets raphael ninja turtle: this is where i died
raph: cowabummer
jesus, leading him to a cave: this is where i rose again.
raph: cowabunga!
3 notes
·
View notes