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[starlightandpoetry]

I can be your peace

Poem

By Kamry Wilson

We so compatible

We fit like a puzzle

You said you gave up on love

Yet you make me feel so loveable

Let me cover you with my peace

Like a warm blanket in chilled air

Let me cook you a good meal

Then retwist your hair

I said

Let me be your peace

Let me love you

Let me rock your world

Let me shower you with bliss

Let me blow your mind with one kiss

Let me be your girl

Baby

Let’s pray together

Then explore each others dreams

While we lay together

Let’s talk about how love lasts forever

And how while running in the rat race of life we gonna stay together

Let’s just live life together

And at the end of every eve

Let’s embrace each other

Baby

Let me be your peace

When it’s raining

And you need somewhere to be

That’s safe and warm

That will be me

sheltering you from the storm

Babe if you keep loving me

I’ll always be your peace

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Relationship advice for the struggling millennial:

Did You just fart?

“Nobody wants to be 70 and alone”, says Drake in one of his most popular rap songs. Funny how these lyrics are so relatable now for millennials when the generations before us didn’t have such a common fear among the masses. Choosing a mate and growing old together was more normal and common than divorce and single parent households. Slowly through time in especially American culture the decline in lasting relationships has been apparent. Yet everyone deep down wants to find someone to grow old with. One problem our generation has with growing with someone in general is how unglamorous it is. Our world now has a huge increase in plastic surgery, cosmetic enhancements, and even filters and editing software for every picture that has resulted in the overall standard of beauty being more unrealistic with every advancement. This has led to our expectations on a basic human level also being unrealistic and damaging to the intimacy required to have a life long partner. In a world where beauty standards are becoming less and less realistic, it’s important for our partner in life to value the human in us.

Mike awakens on a Saturday morning hoping that if he lays still enough his two boys won’t know he’s awake yet. His wife Jennifer lays beside him seeming to be in a comfortable deep sleep still in dreamland. He turns on his side toward her thinking of how after 10 years of marriage he has never gotten used to the headscarf she wears to bed. He wonders why she has to cover her head to sleep when she’s gonna put on a wig anyway. And man, don’t get him started on those wigs…suddenly Jennifer passes gas in her sleep and it wakes her up. “Did you just fart?!” Mike proclaims! “Oh my God how disgusting!” He jumps out of bed thinking how Jennnifer has gotten too comfortable in their relationship.

Later in the day Mike runs into CVS to grab toilet tissue for the house and finds himself in the same aisle as an elderly couple. Bill raises his eye glasses to read to small print on a pack of depends, “Maximum absorption, fresh protection, Sweetie we’re these the ones your sister told you about?” His wife Sandra waddles over and says, “Yea babe but these are not your size. You need a large, grab me the floral pack in a medium. I’m over here grabbing your foot powder.” Bill sighs and says,” thank you baby, you know I need that foot powder for these alligator feet of mine”. They both chuckle and continue shopping.

On the drive home Mike has a flashback of dating Jennifer and being self-conscious about her seeing his alligator feet. He chuckles to himself and thinks of how to apologize to his dear wife about how he overreacted to her morning gas. He comes home, and right away addresses Jennifer as she’s preparing food in the kitchen. She rolls her eyes in humor and says, “ boy you fart in your sleep more than me.” They have a good laugh and he tells her about the cute elderly couple at the store. He then confesses how nervous he was for his socks to come off when they were dating. She then confesses how nervous she was to sleep in her bonnet their first night together.

In a world where beauty standards are becoming less and less realistic, it’s important for our partner in life to value the human in us. Mike’s love for Jennifer was never necessarily in question, but how much more endearing and practical was Bill and Sandra’s relationship? Indulging in the ever changing fads of beauty is a normal part of living in today’s society, but let’s not forget that when choosing a life long partner, comfort zone barriers should be loosened the older we get in order to embrace the aging process realistically in our relationships. So if you want to move to the next level in becoming more human to your partner, test them by removing a comfort zone of yours and see if they match it.

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Dating Advice for the struggling millennial:

Emotional Transparency

Fear that our partner will reject us. Fear that our partner will judge us. Fear that our partner will leave us. When we are dating someone it’s natural to put our best foot forward, ideally though we want to be valued for being our most authentic selves. However, as the relationship develops what does that truly entail? What can we do early in the relationship to be sure we are accurately communicating our emotions? Do we speak up for ourselves when we’re supposed to? Do we take up the space we really need? Or are we constantly sacrificing our voice and our emotional comfort out of fear of the relationship ending? It’s far more valuable to accept and reveal the true nature of your compatibility with a person early in a relationship than realizing years later that this person isn’t on your same level of emotional maturity. Two possible mistakes we can make when building a new relationship are being insecure about revealing our true emotional nature, and avoiding intimacy because we’ve been so deeply hurt in the past. Emotional transparency early in a relationship can be scary if we are battling with insecurity or difficult if we have not healed from past trauma; but failure to be our most authentic self only does damage to a new relationship.

Most of us consider insecurity in a relationship to be infidelity. Maybe jealousy over your partner or being overly concerned about where their attention lies. What about the kind of insecurity that has to do with you though. Your inner fear of losing your partner may not always come from your partner being stolen. Getting to know your partner in the beginning involves learning how they respond in different circumstances. Likewise the way you respond to different situations should be an opportunity for your partner to learn about you. If you hold back your true feelings they will never know how you feel in certain scenarios, or know how you want them to respond. If you're building a bond with your partner they should know what a bad day at work looks like for you and know how to comfort you. In general they should know how you respond to stress and how you cope. You should also be learning this about them. This can only happen if you remove the fear to openly express your emotions to one another. What does sadness look like? What does anger look like? This is one reason the world of psychology says that arguments can be healthy. Being afraid to argue out of fear of sabotaging the relationship results in you and your partner missing an opportunity to see if you're emotionally compatible. Could your deep fear be unintentionally pushing your partner away? Could you be insecure about saying the wrong thing or making the wrong move yourself? How is that insecurity affecting the intimacy in your relationship? Are you holding back emotional weight that's rightfully due to your partner for the overall success of your relationship…out of insecurity?

Let’s compare this with our possible tendency of intentionally holding back emotional weight from our partner out of what psychology calls Intimacy Avoidance. Avoidance comes out of the deep seeded lack of appreciation for relationships. If we’ve been hurt in the past, having our guard up can be normal; but falling into the cycle of avoiding intimacy can lead to damage in our relationship building skills. You may no longer truly value deep connection. Unfortunately for our partner the relationship is to fit a quota or check off a box. It’s not to truly enjoy the charm that companionship offers. It’s to look normal in society. We may also have an emotional checklist when it comes to daily communication and be overly predictable when it comes to quality time. You may notice you don’t truly have interest in things that have the potential to grow your relationship. Things like reading the same books, discussing your thoughts on T.V shows or movies, or trying to understand your partner's mindset on controversial topics in the community. These basic things build your emotional bond and help you grow together in the everchanging current of life. Failing to navigate life on the same page results in you being left behind in your repetitive cycle of predictability, and the other person eventually completely outgrowing the relationship. This person will definitely not know how to be spontaneously vulnerable because that would require an unrehearsed response. Covering up your deepest self is always the aim. If someone is avoiding intimacy, they’re not really invested in the relationship past the bare minimum that got them there in the first place.

Even though holding back intimacy can stem from two totally different motives, they can look and feel the same to your partner in the beginning and lead to the same harmful ending. Let’s take for example your 1st anniversary. You’ve been with this person one year, building new and exciting bonds as you get to know them. For your first year you want to do something thoughtful and special. You don’t want to spend a lot of money on the gift, instead you want it to be something that will share a part of you with them so that they know how deep your love is. The special day rolls around and the first thing on your mind from the moment you wake up is the excitement of sharing a piece of yourself with this person and taking your relationship to the next level. Finally the time has come to exchange gifts and your partner has totally forgotten about your anniversary all together! In fact they made plans with some work mates and didn’t even plan on eating dinner with you that night. How do you respond? Your feelings are hurt, and rightfully so. You're also angry and confused. How will you communicate your true feelings to your partner? After all, they do deserve to know how you feel. The insecure response is to hide your true pain out of fear. If you're insecure, you won’t share how hurt you are. You’ll cry alone or to someone else and be resentful next time you talk to your partner. How unfair to that person who may have simply needed a reminder and now doesn’t even have the opportunity to right their wrong. Now let’s look at someone who intentionally avoids intimacy in the same senerio. When they find out that their partner totally blew off their special day they too may have feelings of sadness and anger because this gift was something that they had prepared and approved of even with their minimalist standard of connecting. Their response would be to still give you the gift, yet they will withhold how hurt they felt that you forgot. In fact they will have guilt for caring so much, shame for being so open, and the resentment will be as apparent as the thoughtfulness in the gift, which now leaves your partner clueless and confused. Still unfair to the partner who may have needed a reminder and now is left with such a disconnect with the gift giver that righting their wrong is now the furthest thing from their mind.

So what would be an option for a healthier response? A healthier response would be for them to experience your initial response without inhibition. Without any malicious intent, share how you feel without being concerned about how it will make them feel. That is called taking up space. Let them see you cry. Tell them how upset you are. Tell them how confused you are. Own up to how you feel and allow them to match your vulnerablity. How can we ask for someone to show us empathy if our deepest self is a secret? How can they empathize with someone they don’t know? We know our partner will feel bad by seeing that they hurt us. Now this is how you know if the love is there. Do they care? Do they fix it? Do they empathize or discredit your emotions? Based on their reaction, you can now fearlessly take the next step because you know that you were honest. No secret resentment is there moving forward towards growth or a breakup because you told them how you felt out of love and gave them a fair chance towards an honest response. There is freedom in being unapolagetically honest with your partner.

Emotional transparency early in a relationship can be scary if we are battling with insecurity or difficult if we have not healed from past trauma, but failure to be our most authentic self only does damage to a new relationship. If you can’t share your most real and raw self with the person you share a bed with, who can you be yourself with? Holding back emotional intimacy out of insecurity or avoidance is dangerous to any relationship, and unfair to you both.

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I love you because you have heart. Whether it’s loving or fighting, working or praying, you do everything with heart. Fearlessly you are guided by love and passion, carrying self-respect as a crown with character as a solid foundation. Sometimes your heart cries out in anger, yet at the core the love is still there. Often misunderstood, it’s a charm I too wear proudly. You healed me so I too can be a leader of freedom in a modest world where riches are hard to come by but with gratitude we are filled up with the love of one another. Someone to smile at, a hand to hold, a love to call my own. My Sagittarius King ♐️

[starlightandpoetry]

Lost…

My skin feels cold and damp.

The forest air fills my lungs as I awaken from sleep of I’m not sure how long.

The sky is grey and there is a misty rain leaving the sky landing on my body as barely rain. The last thing I remember was preparing for a journey. And boy was I prepared. I packed everything I needed in a backpack I remember having that isn’t here now. I had mountain boots that were water proof that now are not on my feet. I packed soup to warm by a fire and a flashlight in case it got dark. Yet here I am in the cold, dark forest naked and alone with nothing I came with. WasI robbed? Was I raped? Did I fall and hit my head and forget who I was. I lost my map on where to go. I barely remember the purpose of the journey. I must find my way back to my things, so I can find shelter.

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Embracing the creative process

You saw me crying

But then you saw me thinking

You saw me crying

But then you saw me praying

You saw me crying

But then you saw me walking

Sometimes I walked far distances

Sometimes while I was walking

You saw raindrops wash my hair

You’ve seen me cry

And you’ve seen me grow

I’ve seen you cry

Then I saw you thinking

I’ve seen you cry

Then I saw you praying

I saw you cry

Then I saw you dancing

And sometimes we traveled far

Just to dance

Sometimes we danced so long we had to carry our shoes and walk barefoot to the car

I was there when you were crying and you were there when I was crying to

And because of you I know not to ever be ashamed of the pain I carry

To never erase my pain

But to paint my canvas with it

You saw me crying

Now you see me writing

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Thank God for this pen

And for my beautiful mind

Even when I carry darkness

I am still moved to be kind

I am thankful for my savior complex that moves me to share my poetry

And for being saved even when I’ve removed myself from God’s grace

I don’t need to be saved

I never asked to be rescued

Thought I found a fellow messenger to teach the youth with me

Instead he was just using me

I’m not materialistic but I have pride in my hard work

What handouts?

Where?

I’m self-made like the soap my mom makes herself

I share my secrets like gifts

To help you manage your stress

When one bill is paid

The next one is due

You pay until you die

Your never through

Ain’t no giving up

Failure is a choice

I am never defeated

Success is my only option

Not for instagram or Facebook or threads

But for my peace of mind

At the end of my day

When I’m laying down my head

I believed who you were when you showed me the first time

I’m disappointed not surprised

This ain’t my first time

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Your pretty like your mom

Wow honey

Your pretty just like your mom

Really?

Because she’s beautiful like butterflies

All in one place

At the same time

Full of all the color and life it takes to make the world work

She’s beautiful and strong

Like a palm tree that sways in the California breeze yet still survives the storm

She’s beautiful and educated

Like Beyoncé writing Lemonade

She’s beautiful and cool

Like Mary J Bilge always being a blonde and singing with sunglasses on

She’s beautiful and wise

Like Queen Easter approaching the throne with discernment

She’s beautiful and bold

Like the color green that covers the earth and feeds our bodies

She’s beautiful and Sassy

Like Natalie Cole singing her Daddy’s songs for the world to hear and appreciate

She’s beautiful and patient

Like a Lion hunting for her prey

She is beautiful and delicate

Like a red rose with dew drops on its pedals in the morning sun after summer rain

She is the breathe of life in your lungs

She is the the spirit of all of those who came before her

She is solid

She is proud

She is Beautiful

So If I’m pretty like her

That means I’m beautiful too

Dedicated to my beautiful mother, all 4 of my grandmothers, and all the aunties I look like and the ones I don’t ❤️

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Affirmation Poem

I am strong

But I have limitations

I am beautiful

But I am not perfect

I am wise

But I have a lot to learn

I am at Peace

But I have Bad Days

I am creative

But I am simple too

I am a fighter

But I do fall

I am a fighter

but I do fail

I am a fighter

But I do cry

I carry my own load

But every night I do pray

I am Courageous

But sometimes I am afraid

I am healthy

But I get sick

I am a good reader

But sometimes I am confused

I love helping helping people

But sometimes I am used

I love to be in love

But sometimes I am toxic and I abuse

I am very kind

But sometimes I do get upset

I have people I call friends

That sometimes I can’t trust

I love my family

But sometimes I need to be alone

I love myself

But sometimes I just feel like a hot mess

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To begin to create an experience as an artist. I put myself there and close my eyes. I breathe the air. Smell the smells. Hear the sounds. And feel the ground beneath me as I stand. Once I open my eyes I then see how to make my original vision come to life in that space.

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