stars-in-our-skies - Tumblr blog

[stars-in-our-skies]

how do i do this to myself? how do i complain that i can't keep any relationships and then actively avoid even any attempt at keeping them? how am i supposed to find people like me if i don't try, if i can't even open up? how am i supposed to get along with anyone when my standards are so high? how am i supposed to be vulnerable if i can't even show the slightest amount of emotion? i complain about never falling in love and yet i don't even make an attempt at it. i'm resigned to the way i am and yet i want to change but i don't want to put in the effort because that's too "hard" and it "wouldn't matter anyway" and "no one even gets me" but how can i be so sure of that if i've never tried? and here i go again making a pity party.

[stars-in-our-skies]

maybe you are a burden and that's fine. maybe you do suck and that's fine. maybe you're not doing your best and that's fine. maybe you truly are the worst person alive and that's fine. maybe it isn't about what thoughts you have or how good you are with people or if you have sex or if you're into a weird thing or if you feel "wrong" or if you are honestly draining to be around or if you are a massive failure and can't do anything right or how many mood swings you get or if you have a short temper. maybe it's just about being alive for now

[stars-in-our-skies]

it's that topic again. we all know that i hate homestuck and we all know that i'm still facing that same dilemma. as much as i want to leave it behind i can't. it's my baby. i enjoy it, but i do not enjoy the fans, i do not enjoy the creator(s) and i do not enjoy what it has become. but it's mine. it has always been my most important story, my favorite, even with all of [motions to everything] that going on.

and i keep going back and forth on it. is it better to leave homestuck behind? let it die, the jkr way? or is it better to rebel? to keep enjoying it in spite of the creators, to push them out of our space?

the latter obviously doesn't work in the case of something like harry potter, not when it's a huge franchise, and it doesn't work if you keep buying merch. which is why hp is still doing good despite its awful fucking creator. but homestuck isn't like that. it's not a huge mainstream success and it doesn't rely on merch. or, it doesn't anymore. homestuck relies on the fanbase to keep it alive. at the same time, they apparently have a patreon (??? why???) and they're still selling games to support the team -- friendsim, hiveswap, whatever. i don't keep up with it.

so the clear answer is that, if we want [motions to everything] THAT to stop, we can't support it financially. and if we spread our fanworks -- cosplay, fanart, fanfiction-- we're essentially advertising ourselves to other people and getting them interested, right? which is free publicity. but on the other hand, why should we have to hide our love for our series? the real one. i did not sink the past decade of my life into enjoying this comic just for it to spit in my face like that.

i talk about it because i care, but it does hurt me. maybe it's because it hurts me that i care. like i don't want the series to stop having fans, the fans are what makes homestuck important. but i don't want it to exist in this form. problem is… it already does. it's dead and it's attracting flies. but i'm still here. now what? do we give up? i can't move on, but i can't keep doing this.

[stars-in-our-skies]

Apologies for the delay. Initially I was going to message everyone individually, but realized it would be quicker to just tag them in this post instead. So:

@theconstellarium @gipzisays209 @pierz @starfallsystemsblog @sirenium @pluralpolls @introject-confessions @gateway-2000

^ (If you're one of those people and you've already seen this post, my apologies for tagging!)

I'm not quite sure if tagging still works when the OP of a post is blocked and they're tagged in it… I assume they can still see the post? If it doesn't work I can resort to dms if necessary. Anyway, these blogs don't exist anymore, or I couldn't find them. They've probably changed their URLs:

dr-gearz thelunastusco t4tdog problemaddtic shadowstarlightwitch homestuck-tech-psy-fan gentlewonderssys fightinggod03 closeted-punk

Lastly, I can't tag the-dreamworld-system or nightfallsystem. I'm not sure why, but they probably have us blocked since I know their blogs exist, and if that's the case I respect that. Similarly, I'm not tagging rjalker, emojis-are-cool, or paxislandsystem. We fall under their DNIs of "no proship" and regardless of the situation, we don't really feel comfortable confronting them personally in case things escalate. But if anyone wants to let those people know somehow, I'd encourage it.

Hey, tagging everybody on this list because a member of a hate group known to be pro-harassment is creating a "blocklist" that just puts targets on y'all's backs. If used as intended, it might actually be helpful, but... well, if I ask how many of you have been personally victimized by Regina George anti-endos, we're gonna get the whole bleachers raising their hands. Because this is a safety issue, anyone can send this to anyone on this list I may have blocked. If you see this and want me to take you off my version, note that you'll still be on the antis one but I am happy to do so, and you may also block evade to do so as again, it is a matter of safety.

Sideblogs named not included, but I'll put an astrix by those that have multiple sideblogs listed. The blog doing this is "endo blocklist" if you want to be able to block them yourselves.

@abyssal-system

@agentgreenbean

@anendoandfriendo

@batm0th

@chocobarsys

@closeted-punk

@curiousitycollective

@daydreamers-sys *

@dialtownsys *

@dogboysora

@draco-system

@dreambound-ring

@sophieinwonderland *

@eliias-bouchard

@emojis-are-cool

@endogenichaven

@endonp-no-d

@fightinggod03

@fowlsys

@funnierasafictive

@funnier-as-a-system

@gateway-2000

@gracien-system

@gentlewonderssys

@homestuck-tech-psy-fan

@hourglasssys

@hyenacackle

@introject-confessions

@introject-culture-is

@isappho

@jadeitis

@lorisystem

@metafarers

@monopool-system (is this supposed to be @moonpool-system ?)

@morcialists

@nightfallsystem *

@nonlibidoist-culture-is

@none-gender-left-man

@paracosmic-gt

@paxislandsystem

@plural-culture-ic (maybe @plural-culture-is ?)

@ponderouswhims

@positively-plural

@pluralpolls

@pluralprompts

@problemaddtic

@queermetalgremlin

@rookie-captain-friska

@rosegroup

@rjalker

@shadowstarlightwitch

@sirenium

@starfallsystemsblog *

@stars-in-our-skies

@starznvoidz

@syscourse101

@syscoursebot

@syscourser

@sysmedhater

@symmetrysys

@syssettings

@system-comforts

@systematic-hyyydromatic

@t4tdog

@tscs-plural-advocacy-blog

@the-astral-arbour

@the-amethyst-system

@the-amethyst-system

@the-dreamworld-system

@theluminolussystem

@thelunastusco

@theweebsystem

@urfavisplural

@pierz

@dr-gearz

Hang on, ran out of mentions, I'll reblog to add more

[stars-in-our-skies]

Oh, awesome! I know we've really made it when we get put on a dubious blocklist. I'm sure they're veeeerrryyy "anti-harassment" and totally AREN'T using this as an excuse to easily find us and invade our inboxes with threats. (/s)

The only good news is that it doesn't seem like this blog posts or updates consistently and they have a low amount of notes. Which still isn't great, because as long as the blog is up we continue to be easy targets for harassment, but at least they don't seem to have a huge following.

If you're one of the people on their list, you can report their blog to Tumblr staff for targeted harassment with a link to the post they made with your URL in it. (If you're not, you might still be able to report them.) I'm not sure anything will be done because staff is notoriously incompetent, but it's worth a shot anyway.

And as a side note, while I don't doubt their claim that they have experienced harassment at the hands of endos (it happens, internet discourse sucks and people on this site can be cruel) I must remind those in the back that it's more likely that endogenic systems and supporters become the victims of harassment due to blogs like this one and certain subreddits (you know which.) If they claim to be truly 'anti-harassment', the least they can do is NOT INTERACT WITH OR NAME US as it puts us more in harms way. And afaik none of us on this list have done anything to deserve that aside from simply existing. I know personally we've never interacted with anti-endos on posts they've created because we don't believe in starting discourse for the sake of it, and I can't recall any times we've responded to them on our own original posts even though that would be totally acceptable.

Regardless, thanks so much OP for tagging us, we appreciate the heads-up. Sorry about all this mess.

Hey, tagging everybody on this list because a member of a hate group known to be pro-harassment is creating a "blocklist" that just puts targets on y'all's backs. If used as intended, it might actually be helpful, but... well, if I ask how many of you have been personally victimized by Regina George anti-endos, we're gonna get the whole bleachers raising their hands. Because this is a safety issue, anyone can send this to anyone on this list I may have blocked. If you see this and want me to take you off my version, note that you'll still be on the antis one but I am happy to do so, and you may also block evade to do so as again, it is a matter of safety.

Sideblogs named not included, but I'll put an astrix by those that have multiple sideblogs listed. The blog doing this is "endo blocklist" if you want to be able to block them yourselves.

@abyssal-system

@agentgreenbean

@anendoandfriendo

@batm0th

@chocobarsys

@closeted-punk

@curiousitycollective

@daydreamers-sys *

@dialtownsys *

@dogboysora

@draco-system

@dreambound-ring

@sophieinwonderland *

@eliias-bouchard

@emojis-are-cool

@endogenichaven

@endonp-no-d

@fightinggod03

@fowlsys

@funnierasafictive

@funnier-as-a-system

@gateway-2000

@gracien-system

@gentlewonderssys

@homestuck-tech-psy-fan

@hourglasssys

@hyenacackle

@introject-confessions

@introject-culture-is

@isappho

@jadeitis

@lorisystem

@metafarers

@monopool-system (is this supposed to be @moonpool-system ?)

@morcialists

@nightfallsystem *

@nonlibidoist-culture-is

@none-gender-left-man

@paracosmic-gt

@paxislandsystem

@plural-culture-ic (maybe @plural-culture-is ?)

@ponderouswhims

@positively-plural

@pluralpolls

@pluralprompts

@problemaddtic

@queermetalgremlin

@rookie-captain-friska

@rosegroup

@rjalker

@shadowstarlightwitch

@sirenium

@starfallsystemsblog *

@stars-in-our-skies

@starznvoidz

@syscourse101

@syscoursebot

@syscourser

@sysmedhater

@symmetrysys

@syssettings

@system-comforts

@systematic-hyyydromatic

@t4tdog

@tscs-plural-advocacy-blog

@the-astral-arbour

@the-amethyst-system

@the-amethyst-system

@the-dreamworld-system

@theluminolussystem

@thelunastusco

@theweebsystem

@urfavisplural

@pierz

@dr-gearz

Hang on, ran out of mentions, I'll reblog to add more

[stars-in-our-skies]

friends

[stars-in-our-skies]

I'm leaving this blog, for good this time. I might lurk on our sideblogs and leave likes on posts, but I am done. I've deleted all of our original posts and you can only find them in reblog chains. I've left most of my reblogs up for now. I will, eventually, delete this blog too.

The reason: our OCD feeds off this blog. I am at my worst when I post here. Every time I post something I fear the backlash or the discourse; what if I get asks about this? What if someone sends me something triggering? What if I get doxxed? Swatted? Am I a bad person? And it just gets worse. Regardless of whether I deserve all of those things or not, I need to leave for my sanity. Maybe I can return when I'm healed.

This was a great outlet for a time; I used this blog to vent to when I had no one and it served its purpose. No one is forcing me to do this. My opinions have not changed. I still stand by everything I've said. And while I hate that I have nowhere else to go and no one to turn to and that I've pushed everyone away, I've made this bed so I get to lie in it. But I cannot leave any of my posts up in this state.

If I've DM'd you my other/fandom blog already, you can find me there. If I haven't, you can ask for it (either through our askbox or DMs) and I'll tell you. Otherwise please don't bother us.

And to the people I've attempted friendships or conversation with and ghosted: I'm sorry. I'm not sure what's wrong with me or why I am this way. But you deserve better than to waste your time on me. I'm sure if things went differently I would have loved to be friends.

Cass

[stars-in-our-skies]

"i'm not triggered or upset by or even ideologically opposed to it, i just associate it with something so bad that i can't enjoy it anymore" is such a frustrating relationship to have with a piece of media

[stars-in-our-skies]

"u look tired" dawg i'm going insane

[stars-in-our-skies]

I feel like being in an abusive relationship is the closest thing to experiencing a time-loop IRL. like you experience the exact same cycle of bullshit over and over and over and no matter what you try to do differently it ends the same way and then resets to the beginning of the cycle. if you try to leave you end up back with them. if you acknowledge that this is cyclical and inescapable you're made to feel "crazy" & it's implied that you should not tell anyone else you're experiencing this. often when you do try to explain it, people do not believe you. you stop having the capacity to emotionally invest in your future because when every decision leaves you in the same place, you stop thinking about planning for beyond that day and just start planning for the least awful way to get through each part of the cycle. the conversations and arguments all start to feel scripted and don't feel real anymore. your whole life is a performance & you don't know who you are anymore, because who can you be if you don't have the agency to make choices about your life & don't get to express actual feelings and opinions because you have to keep repeating this script every day forever? existential nightmare

[stars-in-our-skies]

[stars-in-our-skies]

The Final Round!

Justification

Jellie: She is a cute, attention seeking cat during scar's videos and streams. She has been a character in Minecraft since 2018

The Nefarious Anglerfish: I like them :) [Super cool!!!!] One of the best memes of 2023

[stars-in-our-skies]

Ultimate Incest Tournament - Round 3

The Locked Tomb fanart provided by @lezbijski thank you!

Propaganda under the cut:

Coronabeth/Ianthe:

They are everything. Fucked up codependent flesh-bending murderous twincest sisters

When you have to cry yourself to sleep every night because your twin sister didn't eat your soul, something incesty is definitely happening

no one is doing it like them. what if I loved you so much I wanted you to eat me and you loved me so much you refused to do so. what if the only threat I had against you was my own death. what if we had only spent three nights apart in our lives. what if I spent my whole existence covering for your lack; what if everyone assumed I was the one who was lacking. what if we were sisters. also what if someone said it wasn't surprising that people thought I was your boyfriend. they r winning at twincest AND gender AND godhood AND codependency

This entire section [Corona - Crown; Ianthe - The Prince] where Ianthe is possessing their dead servant's body and controlling a corpse army: "Crown threw herself out of her chair and went down on her knees in front of the Prince—wrapped her arms around the Prince’s legs and put her cheek on the dead right thigh. The Prince reached out and tangled one hand in her bright, springy curls, and sighed a cold, dead, defeated sigh. When Crown spoke her voice was low and tender, the lowest and tenderest voice Nona had ever heard: “Baby, it sounds awful.” “Corona, it’s death.” “So stick it. Stick all this and come home with me … throw this all in and come to me.” [...] “But we’re closer to the goal than ever before.” “Of course we are, you perfect genius,” said Crown, lovingly, and she took the dead gloved fingers, and she kissed them. Every single dead soldier’s fingers twitched..."

Dave/Rose:

Daverose blondetwin sweep because they were codependent without ever meeting from growing up seeing each other in their dreams

What does it mean to be an abused teenage boy growing up alone and seeing a girl in your dreams every night who is also your best friend. and when you finally meet her you go on a suicide mission together even though nobody was asking you to die with her. and then you are the only two human beings left in the recognizable universe on a cold meteor surrounded by aliens but you’re glad it’s with her. and when you finally touch the girl from your childhood dreams she looks exactly like you. because she’s your sister

I don't have words for how good these snarky assholes are together. DaveRose is brain chemistry changing. They both put up so many fronts, and engage in so much snarky wordplay, and are constantly trying to get under each other's facade. They play off each other so well, witty and sharp, I need them to be together always

We all die & we all die alone are the two cold truths of the universe but dave and rose broke both simultaneously by ascending to godhood together

Their twincest wins because it is just so confusingly tragic? profound? dave leaving rose behind in a doomed world, dave following her to the bomb. they are both so closed & cut off & curt its hard to imagine the depth of these things. but that is their love language: giving up their lives for each other over and over, in a confusing and fumbling and heartfelt love song. i can’t say i love you but i know we’ll die together anyway. because we’re made of the exact same stuff. i’ll find you again at the last moment. that’s love.

THEY DIED TOGETHER, YOUR HONOR

Confirmed canon by the author, (something happened) between them. Parallels of dying by each other's sides in EVERY timeline. They are THE womb-to-tomb. There is nothing platonic about winking at your brother while talking about crushes, that shit is incestuous. Seer/Knight archetype. They will die protecting each other.

do you realize love someone if you don’t follow them on a suicide mission into the gaping maw of a literal fucking sun after they knock you out and psychoanalyze you in your dreams? the blueprint of the “ethereal androgynous blonde boygirl twins” trope. witch/knight dynamics. they find each other to die together in every timeline no matter what (but they’re still emotionally constipated teenagers who bicker and make fun of each other in pesterchum). kids with grown-up powers. perfect little freaks of nature. what if we looked exactly like each other’s eyes

[stars-in-our-skies]

I mean I personally hc Chell from portal as NB, but idk if that counts cause it’s not exactly a popular idea.

It does not, but i do agree with your headcanon.

[stars-in-our-skies]

It's not super popular but I've noticed a small rise of people headcanoning elphelt valentine from guilty gear as transmasc before the strive dlc- after the dlc though there seems to be a lot more transfem hcs for her. Baiken is definitely a character that's pretty commonly headcanoned as transmasc/some form of genderweird though

after the dlc though there seems to be a lot more transfem hcs for her

Yeah that happens a lot.

I'm not familiar with this series at all but from a very brief skim of her wiki page, Elphelt seems to have a notably complicated relationship to femininity/womanhood. I've noticed in characters like that it's more common to headcanon them as transfem or a lesbian even when transmasc would make more sense -- one of my favorite characters is like this. So regardless of whether this applies to Elphelt (I might be misunderstanding her), it does happen a bunch.

Glad to hear about Baiken though. Thanks for the ask.

[stars-in-our-skies]

Ultimate Incest Tournament - Round 2

Homestuck fanart by Timsel-kun on deviantart

Propaganda under the cut:

Beverly/Elliot:

Hot lesbians both played by Rachel Weisz! And they're canon in the book it's based on, and like HEAVILY implied to be for realsies in love and fucking in the show. Great lesbianism, great incest

There's literally a scene where elliot is listening intently to beverly having sex in the next room, and she like moans listening to it ok

Beverly's gf breaks up with her cuz she's weirded out by the twins relationship

Beverly likes to attend a support group for ppl with dead siblings and pretend her sister is dead like the psychosexual issues here.....

beverly and elliot were literally trying to have a child together. Elliot (a gynecologist) artificially impregnated Beverly MULTIPLE TIMES

Dave/Rose:

Daverose blondetwin sweep because they were codependent without ever meeting from growing up seeing each other in their dreams

What does it mean to be an abused teenage boy growing up alone and seeing a girl in your dreams every night who is also your best friend. and when you finally meet her you go on a suicide mission together even though nobody was asking you to die with her. and then you are the only two human beings left in the recognizable universe on a cold meteor surrounded by aliens but you’re glad it’s with her. and when you finally touch the girl from your childhood dreams she looks exactly like you. because she’s your sister

I don't have words for how good these snarky assholes are together. DaveRose is brain chemistry changing. They both put up so many fronts, and engage in so much snarky wordplay, and are constantly trying to get under each other's facade. They play off each other so well, witty and sharp, I need them to be together always

We all die & we all die alone are the two cold truths of the universe but dave and rose broke both simultaneously by ascending to godhood together

Their twincest wins because it is just so confusingly tragic? profound? dave leaving rose behind in a doomed world, dave following her to the bomb. they are both so closed & cut off & curt its hard to imagine the depth of these things. but that is their love language: giving up their lives for each other over and over, in a confusing and fumbling and heartfelt love song. i can’t say i love you but i know we’ll die together anyway. because we’re made of the exact same stuff. i’ll find you again at the last moment. that’s love.

THEY DIED TOGETHER, YOUR HONOR

Confirmed canon by the author, (something happened) between them. Parallels of dying by each other's sides in EVERY timeline. They are THE womb-to-tomb. There is nothing platonic about winking at your brother while talking about crushes, that shit is incestuous. Seer/Knight archetype. They will die protecting each other.

do you realize love someone if you don’t follow them on a suicide mission into the gaping maw of a literal fucking sun after they knock you out and psychoanalyze you in your dreams? the blueprint of the “ethereal androgynous blonde boygirl twins” trope. witch/knight dynamics. they find each other to die together in every timeline no matter what (but they’re still emotionally constipated teenagers who bicker and make fun of each other in pesterchum). kids with grown-up powers. perfect little freaks of nature. what if we looked exactly like each other’s eyes

[stars-in-our-skies]

there is a small but present group of people who HC Hu Tao from G*nshin *mpact as a trans man.

I agree with your statement completely about how it's always the other way around and, personally, this is the only example I can think of where it's a canonically cis woman getting HC'd as a trans man.

Other wise it's always always always cis men getting HC'd as trans women.

I'm glad to hear that. When I was in the genshin fandom about a year ago, I didn't notice this headcanon at all -- but as an aside, i wholeheartedly agree with it. So I hope it gains more traction. (Personally I always headcanoned Sucrose as a trans man but I believe I'm alone in that.)

Thanks for the polite ask.