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That moment when your personality quirks and daily routine strangely resemble traits of untreated ADHD and strategies to deal with severe executive dysfunction...

Not me though I'm fine and I'm not questioning every part of my personality right now

[steppingvistas]

Some friendly reminders to...

Take your medication if you haven't already.

Drink a glass or two of water.

Release the pressure in your jaw. It has to be hurting by now.

Refill your pets' water/food bowls, clean out their litter, etc.

Check for upcoming appointments. I forget about mine far too often.

Take a shower if you're having sensory issues but can't figure out why. Sometimes that's all you need to get rid of those bad feelings.

Put on that load of washing that's been piling up for days. It's only going to feel more overwhelming the more you let it pile up.

Same goes for the dishes you've got sitting around the place!

Take a nap if you're feeling tired. It's better (and more productive!) to rest for an hour or two and be able to function for the rest of the day than to spend the entire day unable to do anything because you're too tired.

Show some appreciation to someone you're close to. Tell them you love them, give them a hug or just go sit with them for a while to let them know you're there.

Put that important thing in a safe space. Don't leave it where it is currently sitting because you think you'll remember where it is. You'll kick yourself for it if you do.

Go fiddle with some stuff that you haven't touched in a while. Grab that board game out and just read the rules, take a look at that book you've been meaning to read for months, or just. sit with a belonging that's not familiar to you. Maybe you'll find something that you quite enjoy.

move that fragile object from the side of the surface. IT IS NOT SAFE THERE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE CATS.

Take a two minute walk. You could even just step outside the front door and count three things you see. Fresh air is good (but i completely understand not wanting to, i've been procrastinating too)

Do something with that meal that's about to expire in the fridge. Eat it, toss it, whatever. Just don't let it sit there until it's moldy or you'll be even less inclined to do something about it.

Book an appointment if you're concerned about something that's appeared or changed about yourself, physically or mentally. I know it often feels like we're overreacting, and maybe we are, but it's worth it even just to put your mind at ease.

If you've got a streak of some kind going, remember to do that before it expires.

Happy living 💞

[steppingvistas]

Just got this bittersweet feeling of pure nostalgia while scrolling through a list of currently available MMO's.

Between 2007-2011 I played EVERY F2P MMO available in Germany: Runes of Magic, Allods Online, AION, TERA, Metin 2 - everything. I loved exploring these worlds - mostly solo - while knowing that the people around me were real people doing their stuff and not just virtual NPC's.

When it launched I began playing Guild Wars 2 and joined my first guild, meeting other players on my own initiative and chatting with them for the first time. In 2013 I switched to World of Warcraft and stayed there for the last 10 years.

And yet I still miss these old times when I didn't have the money for P2P or subscription based games. When terms like character progression, Pay2Win, build balancing and Discord guilds had no meaning for me. When I just went into a new world every few months, free to explore it and free to drop it when I stopped enjoying it without caring about the game's objective quality.

[steppingvistas]

Hello welcome my ADHD themed gameshow, "So you were holding it literally moments ago but now it's gone" the where YOU look for whatever you were just holding while going increasingly mad

[steppingvistas]

Finished Greedfall (Fem!De Sardet, Siora Romance, Anticolonialist Decisions, Kill Constantin) and all I can think about is this:

Petrus "The-Dad-Who-Stepped-Up" seeing De Sardet falling hard for a beautiful Doneigad (just like he fell for her mother all those years ago) and going "Oh Illuminated, no! She is as dumb as me!"

I actually ran most of the game with the "Found Family Squad" of De Sardet - Siora - Petrus. While supporting the native uprising for the entire time. It was great ❤️

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Currently struggling with the old problem of enjoying something (aka playing Age of Empires III), not feeling 100% physically and mentally fine (aka throat is fucked up due to a recent cold) and therefore being completely unable to do said enjoyable thing as I would not be able to enjoy it as much as if I was perfectly fine ...

Yeah sometimes I hate the way my dumbass brain works

[steppingvistas]

raskolnikov going outside for 2 seconds and immediately being exhausted by people to the point of fainting and delirium is. so me

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Feeling a bit Dostoyevskyan today... ill, generally pale and sickly, too weak to stand or sit for more than 30 minutes, cursing God and the world for my misfortune while temperatures climb close to 30°C and my tiny apartment has shitty insulation and...

[steppingvistas]

"That's not like you to lose face"

Has anyone else recently played Red Dead Redemption II? Well I did. It is "the" game if you want a great story, relatable characters and a living world in which even your horses testies have a realistic reaction to the cold! Anyways, I played it and noticed something funny today: Let's talk about how our brain comes up with the strangest connections when it is well-fed with source material from all over the media landscape!

By now readers should know that I like to put song lyrics in the headings of these posts. Most of them are from songs I've heard in the radio during my virtual world trip in the flight simulator. Today's quote comes from 1980's "Too Bad" by Doug and the Slugs. Heard it on a station in Kincardine, Ontario while crossing Lake Huron over to Michigan.

So what did my brain do? It created a link between the song's lyrics and RDR II's master planner Dutch van der Linde. And at first I had to check if the song wasn't on the official soundtrack since it could be his actual character theme.

Yes, the original song isn't about cowboys or outlaws or robberies at all! But it also fits a certain Mr. "Tahiti!", serving as a hillarious callout to his rampant narcissism, his failure at planning his heists and getaways and his utter unwillingness to learn from any of his mistakes. Even funnier as the artist's voice somewhat reminds me of Hosea.

I can only recommend the song to any RDR II fan - listen to it, close your eyes and think about trolley stations (without forgetting the quarter! hehe..)

[steppingvistas]

"I only pray when I ain't got a prayer"

Faith and Religion - those are difficult topics for me. Once I would have called myself a Christian. I even began to study Theology to become a priest. After breaking with that way of life I studied Philosophy and Comparative Studies of Religion. I guess I wanted to find that one absolute truth to dedicate myself to. But guess what: I found a billion of theories claiming to be the one truth instead.

To get to the gist of it: I lost my faith in 2016 when I broke with Christianity. I haven't found an absolute truth to free me from all doubt. I never saw "the face of God" or "the primal cause" or something like that.

Am I despairing because of this? I think not. I learned a lot from immersing myself in different schools of thought and faith. Instead of becoming a raging atheist who is always up in arms against any form of religion or turning into a jaded church member who treats with God or Allah or any higher power as with a stubborn shopkeeper I became - for the lack of a better word - "open". Open for alternative explanations and viewpoints. I don't believe in any deities or in a higher power at all, but if there is one, I wouldn't have any problems integrating them into my world view if they suddenly appeared in front of me. If someone chooses to believe in a god then I won't judge. Yet I will disagree with the form this faith may take as there are many harmful or outright dreadful things people justify with their religion. But this is on them - the human - alone.

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"You can't go in alone, everybody needs help"

What I love about Country music from backwater stations is their applicability. People sing about normal life. No posing, no storytelling, no dramatic twists and turns - they force you to evaluate your way of living and thinking by being so "normal".

The quote above belongs to a song I heard on a station from Burlington, Vermont while flying to Alexandria Bay. It concerned our need for real connection, for friendships with people we can trust. Trust is a difficult topic for me: I have lost my trust in others many times and I have given them cause to lose their trust in me, too. If you have a fast-moving brain and a faster-moving tongue, it happens. So to build and maintain stable relationships you have to learn to keep yourself in check. To go against the pressing need to perform for others, to stand in the center of attention.

I don't believe in "thinking of others before you think of yourself". I believe there is enough capacity to care for both. It is trying and sometimes you will fail. Sometimes you will disappoint those closest to you and sometimes they will disappoint you. But in the end it is the desire to try honestly that counts for me. And more often than not it will enable you to win back their trust or build new faith in them.

[steppingvistas]

"Beacon of Hope"

I have to confess - I struggle a lot with my favourite piece of software. More than 900 hours in Microsoft Flight Simulator 2020 and I still ask myself: "Do I really want to fly?" But no, most of the time the question is more existential in nature: "What is the purpose of all this?"

Just picking a route and flying is a great way to kill time. It may also be great if you are either new to "the sim" or if you actually care about this specific place or region. But I never felt content with those free flights. I need a purpose, I can't just do things without a good reason. Which sucks - I am rather unable to stick to most of my plans either.

Yet the question remains as I actually figured out yesterday that I like flying and I want to fly on a regular basis. So how do I motivate myself? By writing about it. I will use this blog to write about all the little thoughts, the ideas that come up, the experience of virtual flight in a virtual world. Not a plan but a certain kind of commitment to bind myself.

This blog will be my beacon of hope - hope that I will complete my first world trip after three years of looking for motivation.

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