strangetomato

[strangetomato]

This came up in my notes. :) I miss these guys.

[strangetomato]

My lilacs are finally in bloom. I planted these trees about 15 years ago (given to me from a friend's garden) when we moved in and now they are tall enough that I can smell them in my bedroom on the second floor. Lilacs always give a sense memory of my grandparents and my childhood. I love them.

I'm still picking away at the SHWC update, but real life has made it harder for me to find time to work on it and I honestly also hit a wall pretty bad with the current update. I think I have just been looking at it for too long, started second-guessing things, and have just generally lost steam and enthusiasm. I do feel this is improving a bit more recently. I hope so. I'm not giving up. I will get this out there... eventually.

I hope you all are doing well as the summer solstice is upon us. :)

[strangetomato]

I've been listening to the Baldur's Gate 3 soundtrack lately and the sung version of "I Want to Live" gives me JRO feelings

Particularly Ophelia

Thank you for sharing. :) It's a lovely song, and I can see that connection for sure. It's always interesting to hear other people's song associations like this.

[strangetomato]

Songs on Repeat

I'm curious... What's the longest you can listen to the same song on repeat? It seems like this might be associated with ADHD and dopamine, or perhaps some other element of being ND. I'm curious if any of you experience it as I do.

I regularly hyperfixate on a single song and listen to it (with headphones or in the car) on repeat for days at a time, even a week or more in some cases. I would honestly love to know the exact maximum number of times I have done so. I'd bet it's very high.

Other times, I have small playlists I cycle through like this. I'm quite happy to listen to an album from start to finish as well, but the pull of a single song over and over is huge with me. Once a new one grabs me, I'm all in.

[strangetomato]

Has anyone else had issues uploading to SimFileShare? Someone wanted me to share a packaged sim and I get errors when I try to upload it.

Edit: Thank you, Deedee! Seems there's issues with the site.

To the anon requester: I will share it as soon as I'm able to.

[strangetomato]

You are such a pillar of the similar community. I don't know if I've ever seen an online creator who is simultaneously as talented and as open and friendly as you. Like JR might say about O, the sun shines out of your ass xD

Thank you, kind anon. That's very nice and very generous of you to say. If only I had even half the regard of either J or R for O, I'd be doing alright, lol. I haven't been feeling the best lately, so my outlook is coloured by that at the moment. I appreciate the kind words, and hope you have a good day. ❤️

[strangetomato]

R.I.P. Brian Wilson. The Beach Boys were my first musical love, as a child. ❤️

[strangetomato]

I think one of your short stories is broken? D: the "In the News" one. Sorry to bother you!!!

No bother at all. It should be visible now. I think you can see the images again now if you have an LJ account? Not sure what changed there.

I was working on re-uploading the images on Dreamwidth, where a copy of my LJ exists, but that type of task is unfortunately like kryptonite to my ADHD brain. I made it to chapter 3. I will try to resume at some point. The text is all there and at least the images have been saved.

Thanks for your interest! :)

[strangetomato]

Happy birthday to my wonderful friend, @meetmetotheriver. I'd love it if you could wish her a happy birthday, too.

My lilacs are not in bloom yet, so these will have to do. ❤️

Edit: Wait! One is open! :)

[strangetomato]

I gave Buck new hair and his handsomeness increased by 100 points.

[strangetomato]

Not this again, lol!

I think their cc photo surviving intact and floating above the house is a good omen?

[strangetomato]

The real thing with ADHD is not "I forgot", but that forgetting is this ongoing process. I remembered! And then I forgot.

At ten this (hypothetical) morning I remembered that I have a meeting at six. And then from 11 through 3 I worked on other stuff and had zero thoughts about that meeting. Maybe even thought about what I was gonna do with my evening at home. Got attached to the idea of taking the time to make a good dinner, maybe play some video games.

And then at three I said, "Oh! Fuck!" and remembered again, hopefully long enough to set an alarm. And then I went to the bathroom and remembered that I need to clean the counter and spent twenty minutes cleaning the bathroom and went to get a snack and then at five I said, "OH! FUCK!" and had to scramble to dress like a real adult and get out the door.

It isn't one clean forgetting. It's a constant process of forgetting and then, with an exhausting adrenaline spike, remembering. And then forgetting. Baby, I can forget the same thing more times in a day than you ever forgot your parents' anniversary.

[strangetomato]

Happy Pride Month! 🌈

[strangetomato]

Another neurodivergent person with mental health issues here I found your advice really helpful :) Especially the part about writing what you love, I struggle with RSD and think I need to work on my confidence so I can share what I really want to and what makes me happy, even if I think it’s weird lol

STHWC has been a huge source of joy and also inspiration for me and I’ve been rooting for you throughout all the process of returning to it, I’m exited to see what’s to come!

I'm glad you found it helpful. :) And it is nice to hear from others with similar brains. RSD has been a big part of my life as well (one of my meds helps with it, thankfully), and I know it can be scary to put yourself and your work out there.

It's impossible to please everyone. That's why pleasing yourself first is important. If you love what you do and are having fun, you'll draw the right sort of audience for your work. I think as long as we're being thoughtful in our creating, we should also give ourselves permission to just go for it. Don't be afraid of making mistakes. We all do.

Weird is good. :)

Thank you. ❤️ As I mentioned before, I've written quite far ahead and I really want to share all of that, eventually. Thank you for the kind words and encouragement.

[strangetomato]

I found this jotted down in my notes app from Jan. 8, just prior to me returning to the sims community this year. There's something almost too intimate about this to share, but I think it shows what keeps bringing me back to this story:

I dreamt of Ripp Grunt last night.

It's been so very long, but I would recognize him anywhere. This is, of course, SHWC Ripp, or any of the other adult versions of him I have played in my years of simming. Grown up, grown wiser. I felt a deep friendship, a maternal feeling, and identification with him. This was a character I felt so deeply, I inhabited his mind and heart. I took what the game gave me and ran so far.

It was vague in the way that dreams are, but I observed his interconnected relationships, his love, his nurturing. I felt very proud of how far he'd come.

[strangetomato]

Well, folks. I'm officially the parent of a teenager.

Tomato One was birthed in the wee hours of the morning on Mother's Day of 2012. He is currently very much a middleschooler, who spends his time mostly playing videogames with his two best friends. He also practices taekwondo, plays saxophone in the school band, and volunteers at the SPCA with me. He drinks at least a litre of milk every day.

He's way, way too much like me, both in appearance and personality. :)

He's wonderful.

[strangetomato]

Don't you love snow in mid-May? ❄️🌷❄️