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strayhotdogs · 2 years

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꧁ ђคɭɭ๏ฬєєภ ฬเՇђ Շђє ค๔ค 1꧂

This is just a tiny thing I wanted to write for Halloween, since lately I'm struggling to post anything. I'm sorry (x10) I've been busy a lot during the last months, hope this can make it up at least a bit. Enjoy.

Basically every short story you're about to read takes place after the Ada hosted an Halloween party, and the reader is spending the time after the party with their s/o. (because I'm introverted and I don't know how parties look like, sorry again).

Characters: Dazai, Kunikida, Atsushi.

Pairing: Dazai, Kunikida, Atsushi x Gn! Reader

Gn! Reader

Genre: Fluff, hurt/comfort.

Dazai

꧁ 1.678 words ꧂

The cold windblow that brushed your hair, reminded you of the cold season. The warmth of summer left Yokohama a few weeks ago, and you could already spot some leaves change on the trees, turning from a deep, fresh green, into a brownish shade that reminded you of old things.

Walking through the street, carved pumpkins and fake cobwebs announced the important event of that night: Halloween.

It was time for children to go out and enjoy the candies with their friends, while masked like ghosts or witches, letting themselves to get carried away from the spooky atmosphere of October.

A beautiful full moon tinted the black cloak of the sky, making it look silverish. It was beautiful. In the distance, the lights of the port flickered monotously, looking insignificant if compared to the small coloured lights that covered blocks and streets. People put a lot of effort into decorations that year.

Breathing in the cold air of the night, you kept walking, never leaving the hand of the man on your side: you peeked at him, just to check how he was feeling. Dazai never told to anyone how he really felt, and sometimes he struggled at being sincere even with you. But it wasn't a problem, there was you, to check on him.

He wore a small grin, that softened his features, and moved sinuously like he always did. The grip on your hand was firm, even if sometimes he brushed his thumb on the back of yours. He was quiet. Unusual for him, but enough for you to understand that he was feeling fine. Through time, you learnt that when completely at ease with someone, Dazai didn't mind silence. No jokes, no flirty lines, no forced smiles. Only a soft expression that made him look young. Like a twenty-two man. Like he should have been. It didn't happen often, but with you, it was almost becoming an habit.

It was as if he didn't feel the need to pretend anything apart from being himself.

-I can feel your stare beautiful, am I really that charming?

He murmured while his eyes still gazed at the street in front of you.

Nevermind, he teased you anyway.

And yet, his tone hid a tenderness that was rare to distinguish when he usually talked to someone else.

Your cheeks warmed a bit: obviously he would have noticed your intense stare. But you didn't feel embarrassed, he was the one you loved, after all, and it wasn't the first time that your eyes stuck on him for a long time. Only a small languor made you stomach twist, recalling the thoughts you were having before.

You held his hand stronger, that was wrapped up in a thicker layer of bandages.

-You want me to wrap those bandages on your head?

You asked him that afternoon. You were reading a book on the couch, when he approached you and draped himself on you, muttering that he wanted to disguise himself as a mummy for the agency party of that evening.

-Kunikida-kun always makes fun of me for having bandages wrapped up around my body. - He lamented while pouting on your neck, you tried not to shiver, when his hot breath hit your skin. -And well, this time I can hunt him as a mummy to revenge myself.

You tried to hold back a smile. Turning your head to look at him, you locked your eyes into his, while his head still rested on your shoulder.

-Basically, you want to scare him.

He nodded vigorously, before draping some bandages on your lap and smiling.

You swallowed a laugh, brushing a few strands away from his face.

Somewhat his playful smile softened, turning into something softer, akin to a sweet grin.

You kissed the tip of his nose, before agreeing to his plan. After all, it would have been fun, seeing Kunikida losing it a bit.

He spent the evening fooling the poor idealist, that by the time the party ended, was as pale as a vampire.

Your stomach hurt from all the laughing, and you partly thought that at a certain point in the evening, Dazai kept harassing Kunikida just to make you laugh.

So, now you were heading home, while the spooky evening still surrounded both of you.

-If you're charming? Yes, I totally agree with that. - You answered him. -But i was thinking more of how calm you look right now.

Your smile speaks more than your silence. You thought, but you didn’t say it aloud: it would have been so much.

It was almost imperceptible, but you could see his shoulders stiffen a bit. His smile decreased, and his eyebrows lifted. You could say he looked uncomfortable, but the tender shade of crimson on his cheekbones let you understand that he was embarrassed.

Cute, so cute. He was so tender you wanted to pepper his face with light pecks.

-Can we stop to a place before?

He murmured, finally looking at you. His eyes were glowing and for a moment, you felt trapped in them.

-Sure we can.

He said nothing, but from the smile he made, you felt the gratitude spread all over his body, and irradiate also yours.

You walked a few meters ahead, still in silence, just enjoying each other's presence. Then, Dazai stopped to an entrance, and you could see a greenish park, where lanterns made everything glow with shades that went from yellow to orange. In the distance, the sound of the ocean added to the rustling of the grass. Small white rocks adorned the hills while a few people walked through the small pathways that linked one hill to another.

The white rocks were gravestones.

The place where Dazai stopped was the graveyard.

You peeked at him, but again, you could only see a graceful smile on his face.

Never leaving his hand, you followed him down the stairs that lead to a small hill, where a big tree offered shadow to some graves.

-Is it the friend you sometimes talked about?

You whispered, trying not to ruin the quiet, mournful atmosphere of the place.

Dazai nodded, leading you infront of a specific gravestone. It was greyish, and some moss was growing on it. Signs of time were everywhere, reminding Dazai of how much time has passed, since that person was alive, laughing, crying, existing. He sometimes hinted that he had a friend whom he deeply cared about, but you didn't know much of him. Not wanting to press, you just let that topic go, only listening to what Dazai had to say. And now, you were in front of the grave of that person, proud that Dazai felt that comfortable with you to let you meet his friend.

Something seemed to burden him: the grip on your hand was almost painful, and his breath got suddenly heavier.

-Is...is this fine for you? - He asked, a voice so tiny you almost didn't hear him. You turned to look at him. His eyes were downcast, and his mouth pressed in a thin line. -I don't want to make you sad or to burden you, it's just that the moment seemed right to me, I thought about it for a while.

Sensing his distress, you left his hand, to cup his cheeks with both your hands. He avoided looking at you, something that never happened.

Nearing your face to his, you murmured a sweet reassuring:

-Dazai, ehy. - You let your nose bump with his. -It's completely fine, it doesn't burden me at all.

He timidly lifted his eyes.

-It doesn't make you sad, does it?

You shook your head, smiling.

-I'm so, so happy that you want me to meet your friend. And after all, I think Halloween night is a perfect night to talk about ghosts and spirits.

He stared at you a bit surprised, then, a soft smile appeared on his face forming small wrinkles to the sides of the eyes.

The intimate atmosphere made your stomach ache for more. Placing a small kiss on his cheek, you tasted how soft and warm it was. Dazai sighed, lowering his head, as to hide it between your hands.

You placed another kiss on his skin.

That was the side of him you loved the most: the tender, shy one.

You stayed like that for a while. He rested his forehead on your shoulder, letting you scratch his scalp. You lulled him back and forth, sometimes kissing his scalp. Dazai reciprocated, kissing the spot between your shoulder and neck.

Silence filled the air but you didn't mind, instead, you felt it was appealing to the place and to the night.

After all, ghosts didn't speak anymore the language of humans.

Then, Dazai gripped your waist tight, finally lifting his head from your shoulder. He kissed the top of your head, a silent "thank you", lingered in the nightsky.

He turned towards the gravestone, and started talking, introducing you to his friend.

-Sorry for what happened before Odasaku, they're just so beautiful I couldn't resist holding them.

He murmured teasingly, while winking at you.

You felt blood rush on your face, warming it whole.

An embarrassed smile appeared on your face: you just held him that dearly in front of his friend, and even if it was just a normal thing, you couldn't help but to feel your cheeks sting from the thought of how you openly showed affection to Dazai.

As you sat next to him, you elbowed Dazai gently, resting your head on his shoulder.

-Oh shut up, it's always you, the clingy one.

He gasped, dramatically draping himself onto you.

-You mean, don't listen to them Odasaku, they're lying.

He said, but his eyes were locked on yours, and a small smile stretched his lips.

From how intensely you were staring at him, you could bet you were making the same face.

The ocean still swung back and forth, and in the distance some children still discussed with their friends about candies.

After what seemed to be an eternity, Dazai murmured softly again. Tender, vulnerable, human.

-Give me a kiss.

And you couldn't bring yourself to refuse.

Kunikida

1558 words

-why don’t you take a break? You look exhausted.

Your voice reached Kunikida that rubbed his eyes again, during that night. He sighed, sensing tiredness definitely taking a tool on him.

Around you, there was silence. Only an owl echoed in the night, but it was so distant, the sound of cars and the chatting of people covered it. On the furniture of the office laid carved pumpkins, spiders made of plastic and a large number of cobwebs. The party had been chaotic, but each one of you seemed to have a good time.

Even the president showed up disguised as a wolf and ended up spending the evening talking to cats.

Kunikida too, despite his frown and his constant mumbling, he looked relieved that everyone was getting along, and that for once, the air was filled with lighthearted feelings, instead of the mourning and dark ones.

-Who’s going to clean this mess if I rest? - He muttered, his eyes almost closing. His voice lacked all its usual power and tiredness could be heard just from his breathing.

You neared him, adjusting both his glasses and his ribbon on the neck. Despite being disguised as a vampire, he kept his trademark ribbon, just as he kept his glasses.

He indulged in your touch, letting a sigh leave his lips.

he closed his eyes.

He really wanted to lean into you and rest his head on your shoulder to sleep until tomorrow. Then you would have brushed his hair, scratching his scalp, falling asleep too on him. But duties were duties and he had to clean the office, unless you all wanted to work with smiling pumpkins on your desks, on monday.

Backing off from your embrace, he sighed again.

-Let me help at least?

He stared at you: you were as exhausted as him, and he didn't want you to stress yourself over cleaning.

-You don't have to, you look tired.

You gazed at him for another moment, then, sighing, you grabbed the napkins from a desk and threw them in the garbage bag that was lying on the floor next to you.

Kunikida followed you, confused.

-What are you doing?

-I'm helping you out.

Kunikida blinked a few times, then, he frowned, similar to how he usually did while working.

-But I said you didn't need to.

-But I want to.

You debated nonchalantly.

Kunikida had always had this big flaw of his: when it was about chores, he wanted to do everything by himself, without anyone helping him. You always ignored him and he ended up with you helping him, but now, convincing him was probably going to be harder, since you were tired and he didn't want you to stress over this.

-Listen, - you continued, holding his hands in yours, -it's really sweet you don't want me to do the cleaning because I'm tired. - You held back a smile, noticing how a little blush appeared on his cheekbones. -But you're just as tired as me, if I help you, we will go home quicker.

Looking at your confident stare, he agreed, even if reluctanctly.

You two kept cleaning the office in silence, too much tired to strive a conversation. And yet, you still felt a bit of tension hanging in the air. Kunikida just a few moments ago looked like he wanted to do something, but held back in the end. You frowned. You didn't want him to feel like he had to restrain himself towards you: you were his s/o, you wanted him to feel comfortable to do whatever he wanted when he was with you.

Sitting on one of the many desks that there were in the office, you waited that Kunikida finished cleaning the desk next to the one you were sat upon. When he threw the last napkins and plastic dishes inside the garbage bag, he moved his hand to grab the following ones on the other desk, but instead of dirty plastic forks or spoons, he found your warm thigh.

His eyes immediately darted on yours, but you didn't give him time to ask anything, because your arms went to hug his figure whole. He stiffened: why his cheeks were getting that warm? When your skin touched his, he always felt his stomach flip and he didn't know how to respond.

But he had yearned for an hug that tight all the evening, so he didn't see the point in trying to reject you. He wasn’t big on PDA, mostly because Dazai loved to tease him and he always ended up being a stuttering mess that made you smile, but that clearly bothered him.

Kunikida moved a few dishes from the desk, resting his head on your shoulder. He let a warm, heavy breath hit your skin, giving you goosebumps.

One of your hands went to caress his head, carding your fingers through the golden strands. A rare instinct of protection boiled inside your chest, and you tightened your hold on his hair: he looked so small, so defenseless when tired.

He craved cuddling you all the evening, you could say it the way his hands held you dearly. You smiled. Even if on the outside he appeared like a unperturbed and composed person, he became clumsy and bashful when you were around.

Furthermore, there weren’t others in the office now, so he could allow himself to be a bit sentimental.

A hand went to caress your left thigh, his big warm hand enveloped your skin completely, stroking it gently, as if you were made of porcelain. Kunikida had always treated you like that: as if you were something delicate, that he had to look after.

You could feel how much his hand was calloused, probably because he got hurt several times during work, because he used to hold guns or because he wrote for long times.

But there was something familiar in his touch, that made you love even his sore spots.

He lifted his head, only to rest his forehead on yours. He opened his eyes a bit, but his stare was that intense that it sent butterflies to your stomach.

He observed you all the evening, and he couldn't help but to think that you were so beautiful. How you smiled, how you greeted the others, every part of you looked so graceful, he probably had a languid stare that was that noticeable he had to endure Dazai's teasing every now and then:

"Kunikida-kun is almost smiling, the end of the world is near", or "if you will keep staring at them that intensely they will wear out, Kunikida-kun".

He remained silent, almost without hearing what Dazai said, the world appeared muffled with you around. But he decided to keep his thoughts of you for himself, until now.

-You look endearing dressed like this. I couldn’t find the moment to tell you tonight.

You felt your cheeks warm immediately: he stared at you all the evening with sparkles in his eyes, but you thought it was just your impression. Not that you felt uncomfortable, but Kunikida always surprised you with those unexpected compliments.

He brought the other arm to hug your waist, drawing you closer to him; the other hand was firm on your thigh. You could feel his warm breath on your face, and you struggled not to shiver in anticipation.

You stared at him, drowning in his greyish eyes for a lot of time. Endless minutes flew between you two.

You just stood there, admiring each other.

Then, Kunikida rested his lips on yours, sighing. They were warm, and tasted sweet, so sweet, probably from all the candies he had eaten during the evening.

Silence filled the air, only interrupted by your sighs and pants.

Kunikida’s hand traveled from your waist till your neck, caressing it with his thumb. You gripped his hair, careful not to hurt him, but strong enough to push his lips closer to yours.

He let his tongue intertwine with yours, as a louder sigh left his mouth.You held back the urge to smile in front of his tenderness.

You spent the following moments enjoying his caresses: he never stopped stroking your thigh, back and forth, till the knee and then all the way back to the waist.

After several moments you parted, panting, as a tender crimson tinted both your faces. His glasses were turned upside down, and a bit misty.

You adjusted them, giving him another kiss, lighter than the last one.

-Let's finish cleaning here. - He whispered, keeping his eyes closed. His nose bumped against yours making you feel his warm breath. -We will pick up from where we left at home.

A sweet languor made its way in your stomach that trembled in anticipation. You nodded, getting off from the desk, keeping helping him cleaning.

The night was long and you had all the time in the world.

AtsUsHi

1401 words

-Had fun, back at the agency?

He whispered, not wanting to startle you.

You narrowed your eyes, blinking slowly. The party at the agency had been chaotic: Dazai kept harassing Kunikida all the time and both of them ended up tripping over a table with drinks on it, drenching themselves completely; you had seen Kunikida being angry at Dazai, it happened every day, but you had to admit that this was the first time that you had seen him his whole face red of anger: for a moment, you thought he was going to explode. But despite that, it had been fun.

Atsushi had kept you close all the evening, trying to win the embarrass of Dazai teasing him.

You remembered that he was still standing in front of you, that was waiting for an answer.

Feeling your whole body way too much tired to answer with words, you managed to nod slowly, blinking again.

-You still want to watch it?

The exhaustion was crippling into your bones as you tried to reply with another nod. Despite the tiredness, you still wanted to spend time with him without sleeping.

He patted you on the head, making his touch linger on your skin for a bit. You were warm, the type of warm that humans usually had. Atsushi didn’t know why, he didn’t spend that much time thinking about it, but human warmness was completely different from the one that a blanket could ever give you: it was gentler and was full of that calmness that Atsushi lacked during all his childhood.

It was useless at that point, explaining why he enjoyed cuddling with you that much.

You smiled softly, leaning into his hand: often Atsushi got touchy and you didn’t mind, he always caressed you as if you were something fragile and precious, if possible, it made you even sleepier than before.

Hesitantly, he removed the hand from your hair, and grabbed a blanket from the wardrobe, heading to the leaving room.

You put on your pajama's shirt, following him suit. You nodded, following him to the living room.

Taking a deep breath, you inhaled the faint smell of cinammon that lingered in the room, as a warm feeling of quietness blossomed inside your chest: you always had the impression that Atsushi's home looked somewhat cozy: lots of blankets, cushions, and something else that you couldn't describe precisely.

You smiled, as he lent you a blanket. You grabbed it, covering your shoulders. Maybe, what calmed you that much was just his presence there with you.

You sat on the couch with him, as he covered you both with another blanket. Everything was quiet, nothing could be heard. He rested his head on your shoulder, letting the movie you two chosen play on the tv.

Since it was Halloween's night, Atsushi suggested you two watched an Horror movie. It was curious, how he had lived his whole childhood fearing other people, being chained and imprisoned, and still enjoyed spooky tales and tv series.

You agreed, even if a bit reluctantly. It's not like you were afraid, but you didn't enjoy horror movies that much. There was always something that made you shiver at some point, and sometimes it happened you had nightmares about the movies you watched.

You crouched to Atsushi's side, grabbing his hand. This time, you were with him, so you had nothing to worry about. Looking at the screen, you let the movie go on in front of your eyes.

Then, a scene made you jump. It wasn't that scary but it surprised you enough to grip Atsushi's hand.

He turned his head immediately, observing you carefully.

-Ehy, are you fine?

He whispered.

You nodded, even if a bit startled.

-Yes, I wasn't expecting it, that's it.

You stared at him, a soft smile on your lips to reassure him. But Atsushi was way too sweet to let that slip that easily.

One arm of his went to hug your waist to bring you closer to him. Kissing your forehead he whispered soft reassurings. He knew what it meant to be scared, even a little, so he didn't want you to dismiss it as something unimportant.

-You sure you want to keep watching this? We can choose something else, less spooky maybe.

You shook your head, still a bit red in the face.

-No, it's fine. It's just that I used to have nightmares every once in a while when I watched horror movies, but they don't scare me the at much to the point I can't watch them.

You explained.

Atsushi stared at you, a bit surprised. Then, the grip on your waist tightened and in a second you were on his lap.

Warmness arose on your cheeks again; lifting your head you stared at him astonished: despite being tired he still had the strenght to lift you without any problem.

He smiled softly at you, trying to look reassuring. Your pupils ran all over his face, searching for an answer.

-this way, you won’t be scared anymore.

He whispered not to ruin the mood.

You felt a wave of warmth hit your body whole, reaching instantly your cheeks. Through time, you had learnt that even if Atsushi was timid or inexperienced, had those moments in which the desire to reassure or protect you surpassed his shyness, that lead him to commit acts of boldness that you didn't mind at all, but that embarrassed you nonetheless.

Tucking your head under his chin, you snuggled yourself up, letting him embrace you better.

With that, you kept watching the movie, or at least you tried: your eyelids were becoming heavier and heavier, and it was difficult to follow lucidly what was happening on the screen. Atsushi's scent was strong, sending exquisite languors to your stomach.

You lifted your gaze slightly, noticing how he had his eyes glued on the screen: his purple irides reflected the colors of the movie, trapping your gaze. It was almost hypnotic looking at how the various colors lingered on his pupils.

Your eyes faltered a bit, closing for a brief moment. You widened them instantly, trying to stay awake.

Turning your head, you gazed at the screen again. Atsushi sighed a bit, lifting his chest. You opened your eyes again, not remembering having closed them.

A scary scene came on the screen but you couldn't care less, since Atsushi's hand went to caress your head again. You brought a hand on his shoulder, turning slightly, and resting your head on his neck, inhaling his scent.

Your eyes closed again, and this time, you didn't oppose, letting yourself bask into the warm and cozy feeling that Atsushi gave you. The feeling of his heart beating near to yours, was the last one you felt, before sleep took over you.

The boy was watching the movie fervently, it was even better that he had expected, when he heard soft snores on his neck. Turning, he noticed that you had fallen asleep on him, with a calm expression painted on your face.

He smiled: well, you felt safe surely, maybe even too much, but he was way too in love to care.

Turning off the tv, he tried to carry you, without waking you up. You frowned a bit, as he moved to stand up.

-Shh, it's fine, everything is fine.

He hushed you, heading to the bedroom.

Laying you on the warm sheets, he covered you with the blanket, joining you immediately.

He wrapped his arms around you, always carefully not to wake you up. Sighing in your sleep, you snuggled closer to him, which brought Atsushi to smile fondly.

He kissed your forehead, thinking how lucky he was having you by his side. There were days in which he still felt not deserving of you, and sometimes it happened that really believed to the voices inside his head.

But then, you smiled, and he immediately pulled himself together: you loved him and he knew that you would have reassured him as many times as he needed.

He tucked your head under his chin.

Scary, how life could surprise everyone, it really turned situations upside down: considering from where he came, to how far he had come, it was really scary and confusing remembering all the details and events that brought him there.

-Goodnight Y/n, I love you.

Fortunately, there was you, to remember him where he was each time, otherwise, he didn't know where to go.

I’ll post part two tomorrow, the next characters are: Ranpo, Yosano and Tanizaki.

Will I ever stop writing about Dazai talking to Oda? No. It’s just a tender trope and I think Dazai would likely choose special occasions such as Halloween, Christmas or Oda's birthday to introduce his s/o to Oda.

Kunikida tends to overwork himself like, always, he needs someone who helps him to unwind a bit.

Atsushi's one is probably the coziest, he always gives me the impression of warmness and calm.

Taglist: @kisara-16reblogs @irethepotato

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strayhotdogs · 2 years

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hiiii could I request kunikida comforting an s/o who often gets bad migraines? Lol ur amazing thank you so much in advance

ӄʊռɨӄɨɖǟ աɨȶɦ ǟ ֆ/օ աɦօ ֆʊʄʄɛʀֆ ʄʀօʍ ʍɨɢʀǟɨռɛֆ

Hii 💞, thank you for your request; aaah somehow, writing Kunikida always makes me hyped, it can’t be helped, he’s a true gentleman.

Characters: Kunikida.

Pairing: Kunikida x reader

Genre: fluff, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort

Gn! Reader

Kunikida

let’s admit that Kunikida in the first place suffers from bad migraines. Between dazai and the work, along with his many other anxieties, he probably suffers from chronic migraines or cervical.

also, he doesn’t sleep at all. Not because he doesn’t want to, but because he can’t. Even if he affirms he gets something like seven hours of sleep, this probably is a rare occasion.

he already noticed you massaging your temples, or holding your head between your hands, to soothe the annoying feeling. It throbbed and also stung, it was almost unbearable.

then he saw how usually, days before you had those terrible migraines, you felt angrier than usual, you almost couldn’t bear the sound of someone’s voice, and you felt unstable on your feet.

he’s not really intuitive, but when evidence is displayed all over in front of him, he doesn’t lose time asking you:” y/n, what’s wrong? Are you not feeling well?” Trying not to think to the worst of the outcomes - due to his work nature, I think he would be an apprehensive lover, because he doesn’t want you to get hurt or to suffer, even if the matter is silly. (Honestly, I think that each one of the Ada would be apprehensive with their lovers, their work just charges them of a lot of stress and anxiety)

“just a bit of migraine, I get them pretty often”, you answer between the pain and the throbbing. You kept massaging your temples; Kunikida stared at you for a bit, probably thinking to what to do. Then, he pushed his glasses on the bridge of his nose, whispering “I see”.

He is an anxious man, despite trying to always display a rational asset to solve any situation, is obvious that he suffers from anxiety -think about each time the agency had been having a hard time or when Atsushi was kidnapped for the first time from mafia- and deeply cares about his surroundings. So, he would take notes probably trying to avoid freaking out.

almost feels impatient since he wants to solve the situation.

one evening, when another migraine stroke in, he saw you massaging your temples with a frown on your face. “Another one?” He asked, you only nodded. He got up, telling you to wait there. You tried to listen to him, through the annoying throbbing of your head.

he returned moments after, giving you a hand to get up. You grabbed it, and let him drag you whenever he wanted. Your temples stung, as you grimaced in pain. Then, you felt something warm, as you heard the sound of water. Opening your eyes, you noticed that the bathtub was full of fuming water. You widened your eyes, gazing at the man.

he reciprocated, showing you one of his rare soft smiles. “I’ve read that warm baths can help, let’s try together if it works”. -No, he won’t help you taking off your clothes, it would embarrass him too much, he would become purple. “T-Tell me when I can come in, okay?” “Are you blushing?” “Shut up” (Yes).

so, you found yourself immersed in the warm water, while Kunikida rubbed your temples in silence; there was no need for words, plus, he thought that talking would have only increased the migraine. He washed your hair too, massaging the scalp gently.

you let him do it, not that Kunikida didn’t do things like this often, he loved to read with one hand intertwined with yours, while the other held the book; he adored to sleep with you on him, or cuddling you in bed, but washing your hair was new. You didn’t mind it, instead, you found it a pleasurable surprise.

you closed your eyes, feeling the throbbing at your temples decreasing. Kunikida washed your head with warm water, and you couldn’t hold back a sigh: his touch was that gentle that you almost had goosebumps.

then, after a bit, he got up, “where are you going?” You asked, almost waking up from your haze. He wiped his hands on the towel, “don’t worry, I’m only going to make dinner”, then, he turned, and gifted you with a relaxed expression, different from his usual frown, “finish to adjust yourself, I’ll be in the kitchen,” he left you a small peck on the lips.

when you dried yourself, and put clothes on, you walked to the kitchen, still feeling a bit of throbbing on your temples. And you saw Kunikida, standing up in front of the kitchenette, cutting some pieces of salmon, to fry them in the pan. It almost made you smile, how focused he was.

“I’ve read that there are a few foods that can help you decrease the pain of migraines”, he admitted, while sitting to the table. “How are you feeling?” He asked after a few moments of silence, in his look, you could see a bit of nervousness. You blinked. “Better, don’t worry”. He lowered his eyes on his plate, sighing. “I just don’t want you to suffer too much”, he grabbed your hand, to caress it, “and, I want to help you”.

you felt your heart race a bit: Kunikida had always been like this: when he cared about your well being, he ended up getting nervous, and almost neglecting himself. Despite finding his care for you sweet, you didn’t want him to stress over trivial things. You held his hand to caress its back. “Darling look, you’re already helping me a lot”, he peeked at you, “but please don’t stress too much over this, I don’t want you to get a migraine too”, you smiled.

he hinted a small smile back, looking at you in your eyes. Your stomach jumped a bit, looking at his warm pupils. Then, he huffed, and frowned a bit, “you could never cause me a migraine, it’s always Dazai’s fault, that bandaged idiot”. You laughed a bit, and Kunikida couldn’t help but to feel a bit proud. -yes, I’m sure Kunikida would try to make jokes feigning being angry, just to make you laugh.

once you two had finished eating, he got up, to clean the table. You did the same, but he stopped you, placing his hands on your waist. “Go to bed, I will wash the dishes.” “But I can do it-“ you bit back, but he stopped your rambling, kissing your forehead, “I can do it alone, you rest. It won’t take long”. Noticing that he was firm on his point, you headed to bed.

the warm sheets welcomed your sore body, and you almost fell asleep in the exact moment your head touched the pillow. Kunikida joined you a bit after. He moved the blankets quietly, to avoid making you startle. You felt his big arms envelope you, and in no time, you found yourself being hugged by him. He rested his head on the top of yours, while your head was pressed on his chest. You smiled through your sleepiness.

he left a kiss on the top of your head, “rest well y/n, I love you”. Kunikida’s body was warm, and his smell so strong; you nuzzled in his hold, finally falling asleep.

Kunikida would try to reduce your stress to the minimum. If you seem to be exhausted at work, he would tell you to rest a bit, and to continue when you felt like better. “But you need these now, I can’t stop working”, “I can wait if it means that you will feel better”, Dazai groaned loudly, “ah, Can I rest too, Kunikida-kun? My head hurts”. Kunikida threw him your paperwork. “Shut up, Dazai, their condition is serious. Fill those reports and get back to your work”.

“Kunikida-kun is worried about Y/n-kun, aww so romantic”, you giggled, but Kunikida was fuming, “I’m not romantic! Work, you dumb asshole”. -again, his face was covered in blush.

he would try to reduce your efforts too, “is this heavy to you? Handle it to me”, “you can’t reach it? I’ll grab it for you”. “Are you heading to the market? Let’s go together”.

Asks you “how are you feeling?” Or “did you eat today?” A lot, please bear with him, he is worried about your health and wants you to feel better.

in bed he gives you massages to your temples, your shoulders, your neck, while leaving small kisses here and there. “Better?” He asked, kissing the spot between the shoulder and neck, making you shiver a bit. You nodded. He kissed your neck, smiling, making you sigh again.

Cuddles you a lot, especially when the attack is more painful than usual. He just lays on the couch with you on the top of him, to scratch your scalp gently. -honestly, I don’t see Kunikida as someone that enjoys physical touch a lot. He is private and probably introverted, that meaning that he would need his spaces, during the day. But, at the same time, he’s touch-starved, he rationalises everything to keep others distant, to not suffer when his ideals will be destroyed again.

He is someone that would likely enjoy physical touch only with the ones he trust or is close, for example his lover. So yes, Kunikida would be the cuddly type, but only with the ones close to him.

if you whine or lament in your sleep, he would pepper your face with small kisses, hushing you. “Shh it will go away, everything is alright”.

if you cry because the migraine is bothering you too much, he would wipe away your tears, from your eyes, hugging you tightly. “Shh it’s okay, I’m here, don’t cry”. It would completely break his heart, watching you stress over your migraines.

that’s why he would ask Yosano, if there are meds to at least decrease the pain. “Yosano-Sensei gave me these, let’s try them.”

checks if you sleep enough, or don’t skip meals. “Skipping meals can worsen your migraines.”

writes down his ideal the things that trigger your migraines and tries to avoid them the best he can.

if your migraine is due to lack of vitamins, he would help you remember when to take them, and he would ask you everyday about it: “did you take the pills?” “How are you feeling?” You nodded; he ruffled your hair as a reward.

careful to wake you up, since making you jump from yours sleep would only increase the risk of migraines. He caressed you gently, with his big hands. You stirred in your sleep, opening your eyes just a bit. “Good morning” he whispered. You smiled, muttering a tired “good morning” too. He would pepper your face with kisses, before giving you the last one on the lips, slower and warmer.

overall Kunikida would take care of you not only when you get migraines, but each time you don’t feel well. Do the same when he feels sick, he needs someone who cares for him and stands close to him when he’s not okay. He would really appreciate it.

gentleman. That’s it. That’s the whole headcanon.

Kunikida is a true gentleman, and I’m defending this headcanon with my soul whole. He is dedicated, hard working and kind. Husband material.

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strayhotdogs · 2 years

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ȶօառֆ օʄ ɛӼɨֆȶɛռƈɛ

Part 3

read part one here

Read part two here

Chapter 8

You tried to adjust better the too big uniform on your shoulders: it was definitely enormous for you, at least three or four sizes than yours. But you had no choice, disguise was the only solution, in that situation.

The hat fell on your eyes; you huffed, trying to crook it on the side of your head.

Sometimes, you thought that Dazai and Ranpo, found an immense, devilish pleasure, in inventing plans like that.

You rolled your eyes; well, it can’t be helped. Furthermore, you had finally arrived to the final act of this incredible mission, it was time to end this all.

Final act.

You thought.

Right, that was the end, of your relationship with-

-It’s possible you’re overthinking even before we start?

You stiffened, caught off-guard, then, recognizing the voice, a strong languor hit you in the stomach. You turned.

-I was keeping myself busy, while waiting the lagger you are.

You smiled, and he did the same. Your silence was again, full of unspoken words. He was wearing, a disguise too, it was identical to yours, only that it seemed to fit him way better, and you didn’t mind him in army clothes.

A rush of adrenaline, invaded your limbs at the thought, but you let it conquer your body without any resistance; during the past days, you had dwelled on your feelings, and on your various informal talks with the man, and you understood, that the more you tried to suppress your feelings, the more they got bigger. Worse, you addressed that emotion, and when you address an emotion, you can’t get rid of it anymore. Worst, you didn’t mind at all. During the first days, you denied to yourself your feelings, you tried to rationalize them, hoping that like this, they would have just gone away; but Yosano’s words hunted you at night, and you started to mix them with your sensations, and in the end, she was right. You wanted to be with him, but you were sure he wouldn’t have felt the same, but now, this didn’t scare you anymore: you just wanted to tell him how you felt, it didn’t matter, you just wanted to let out the trembling feeling of your heart.

-Well, should we move?

He adverted his gaze, smirking. Your heart never stopped to race.

The mission. You should focus on the mission.

-Oh yes…okay, well- you stuttered, since your mouth wasn’t cooperating with you, -we have to find the criminals that are hidden over there, - you pointed at the headquarters on your shoulders, -probably they’re as disguised as us, so be careful at each person you meet.

He nodded, serious.

You tried not to think at how that look affected your heart, again.

-Okay, let’s go.

You went to lift from the ground, but an arm gripped you, pushing you downwards again.

You turned your face, only to find Chuuya’s one near yours.

-Be careful, if things are really like this, they’re going to be feral on us.

-Like any other time.

-Just…don’t get hurt.

A faint blush appeared on his cheeks, despite his scowl, the light in his eyes, appeared somewhat soft.

Chuuya really wished, you didn’t hurt yourself like that time, because this one, he was sure, a 1989 Chateau Margaux wasn’t going to be enough.

You smiled, -I’ll try.

And I hope, that you won’t hurt yourself too. But you, didn’t say that.

The headquarters were dark, imponent, and overall, they didn’t inspire you that much of trust. Every building was or of a sterile white, or of a military green. The windows of those buildings were narrow and blackened, to avoid anyone from looking inside them; there was an enormous yard, that was completely covered in asphalt and pebbles. Along the fence, there were a group of sentinels which were on patrol and a group of cadets that was running, and doing some exercises: they were probably training.

The sky was clouded, you thought that it completely resembled the place where you were: shadowy, a bit filthy, despite them being the “good” ones.

You frowned.

Good ones? There were even people like that in the world?

In the past few weeks, you started wondering, if there was a precise line between the two parties, and every time you asked yourself about it, your mind always put the redhead as an example. He was in the mafia, so he should have been “bad”, but he was also capable of being gentle, like he was with you. And you were in the agency, so you should have been “good”, but you could be also “bad”, since you let that fly-man die, back then. So, in the end, you started to think that there wasn’t any good, any bad. Only people, that did things. What decided if the things they did were good or bad was just common sense.

The fault was completely of the man by your side: you weren’t like that before. And you didn’t mind, how he had changed you.

An elbow hit you on the waist; you shook your head, looking at Chuuya.

-Stay focused, what are you smiling for?

You could have mocked him, but your mind, spoke before you could even organize your thoughts:

-You.

Silence. You could hear the sound of glass shattering in the distance.

-EH?

-YOUR APPEARANCE, I MEAN. – You tried to adjust your sentence, but paraphrased like that, it was even worse. Widening your eyes, your face turned from crimson to purple. -YOUR APPEARANCE IN DISGUISE, OBVIOUSLY. – You whispered screaming, agitating your arms in the air, to add honesty at your words.

He blinked, confused, but you decided to continue with your charade.

-C’mon, that uniform is enormous on you, you almost look like a dwarf dressed for the conscription haha.

Your sweat was cold, but despite it, your face was warm, too warm.

Dwarf dressed for the conscription? Really? I want to die. You thought.

Chuuya lifted an eyebrow, but decided not to answer you. He spent a few moments running his eyes all over your timid silhouette, and you had never felt that naked in front of someone, in all your life. Then, as if he had understood something, he grinned, and patted you on the head.

You had to hold back a sigh.

-Alright, alright, as always, you’re mocking me, and here I was thinking it suited you cutely.

You wanted to bury yourself in the ground.

-Well, at least I make you smile.

Yes, you definitely wanted to bury yourself in the ground.

You turned, gritting your teeth, you didn’t know if it was because of frustration, or because of embarrass.

-S-shut up, and focus. We’re here.

The two of you stopped walking. You were in front of a dark green building, where the army was testing the new weapons. You got closer but the large door was made of iron and protected with a pin. You groaned, thinking that despite the two uniforms you wore, you hadn’t any password to enter.

-We don’t have the pin, ah.

You told the man behind you, that was waiting for a move.

-Didn’t the commander own one of them?

You rolled your eyes.

-Yes, but the criminals stole it.

Chuuya tsked, then, walked in front of the door and touched it. The latter glistened in red, and crumpled a bit, and yet, nothing happened.

The man gritted his teeth.

-Shit. It’s ability user proof.

You felt the nth rush of adrenaline invade your body: neither him, could destroy it.

You fisted your hands: crap. You had to find a solution, and fast. Those criminals could have already been inside.

Then, you felt whistling behind you.

You turned, and noticed two soldier walking and having a chat. You gazed at their uniforms. Three stars, Colonel. Two stars, Lieutenant colonel. Each one of them had a form hanging on the neck; your eyes widened: it was the same pass the commandant had, before the criminals stole it.

A wrong, truly wrong idea popped up in your mind, and while you desperately tried to suppress it, it felt like the last solution you two had.

You called Chuuya. He turned, and looked at you in the eyes: it was enough, for each other, to understand what to do.

You pressed the pass on the decoder, and it blinked in green, before opening the door. You two entered the building, leaving behind you, the two knocked out soldiers. Caught off guard, they needed only a few punches, to definitely fall on the ground. Then, you dragged them behind a wall, and tied them with the long belts of their uniforms. It has been as easy as stealing the candies to a toddler.

You sighed; you were finally inside. The place was dark, and only a few neon, emanated a white weak light. You could feel the buzzing of the electricity in the distance, as a faint smell of tire and iron expanded through the large room.

-Who are you? Identify yourselves.

A stern voice startled you both, and obliged you to turn.

In front of you, there was a tall and large man, that was probably twice your size, his glare was firm, and focused. Probably, he was one of the guards. You sucked your breath, you had to invent a lie, quickly.

-We, uhm well, - you read the name written on your pass, -Yoko Mikiko, sir – you tried to mimic the military salute.

He glared at you for another minute, skeptic about your appearance; you continued to look at him, trying not to display any sign of fear or tension.

He seemed convinced. Then, he shifted his glare to Chuuya, that, did the same as you.

-Yu-Yukiko Yoshio..sir.

You held back a giggle: he was terrible at lying.

But, despite their terrible acting, the guard looked convinced enough to let both pass.

It had been easier than I thought. You murmured, inside your head.

You wiped the sweat of your forehead; you were feeling more nervous than usual.

You shook your head: you just had to focus. Focus.

The big corridor led to a laboratory, that had the door of transparent glass and some large windows, that verged on the passageway. There was no sign however, that it had contacts with the outside. There were two white counters, where there were displayed a few test tubes, that contained each one different colors; two thermostatic cups laid at the end of the long desk, and were full of black and bluish fluids.

On the wall, there were pinned different notes, reporting some experiments, and a few drawings about human limbs and organs. You felt a bit disgusted, and your thoughts from before, returned stronger: “the good sometimes do bad things”.

In some conical graduated glasses, a yellowish liquid was boiling inside them. You wondered what could have been. A few ones, with some names on them, were empty: you sympathized: some things just didn’t go right for everyone, somedays.

There was no trace of humans, but it just looked as if they were on break.

-Well, there’s nothing interesting here we should move-Chuuya?

You gazed at the man, that was now, looking at the notes on a desk, astonished.

You walked to him, curious. He was staring at some notes about experiments on abilities and ability users. Nothing you hadn’t expected, so why did he look like he was disgusted and…was fear, the one in his eyes?

-Shitheads. Many years, and they still don’t give up. – He lowered his head, hiding his expression. You leaned to look better at him, but his eyes were hidden between his orangish locks, and his fedora.

-Chuuya what-

Again. He was doing it again, he had the same look on his face, of when you joked about him being human. A thought started to race inside your mind: I was odd, maybe too much, but for his reactions it made sense, could he be an-

-We should go. We should go.

He whispered, but his tone didn’t admit any replies.

He interrupted your train of thoughts, and you understood, that it was better not to ask anything.

-Okay.

Was everything you could say.

A few steel glasses fell on the ground, as if they had been startled by something, you turned, but there wasn’t anyone. Probably they were just crooked on the desk, there were far too many things on those counters, it was a miracle that something still had to fall from the latter.

You turned, noticing that Chuuya was a little less pale than before, but he still had that confused demeanor that didn’t fit him at all.

You kept walking, but still, there was no sight of anyone in kilometers, the corridor, was deep and quiet.

You and Chuuya didn’t talk that much, the only things that you two exchanged were small huffs and stolen gazes. He looked still a bit bewildered, and you didn’t want to lose focus of the mission, overstepping a line that you couldn’t, asking him a far too private thing.

You reached the end of the foyer, but there was nothing.

Nothing.

You widened your eyes, trying to process: there was nothing. No rooms, no passages, no buttons to push, no doors to pull. Only an impasse.

-No, no, no – you ran in front of the blank wall, staring at it, speechless, -there has to be something, anything, there must be something.

-Are you sure it was this one?

You frowned,

-Yes, the commandant said it was this establishment.

Chuuya stared at you, not knowing what to say. It was a pain to watch you in distress, and it was a pain even more not knowing in which direction where to head to.

You closed your eyes, searching for a solution now was merely impossible, the criminals should have already arrived to the weapons. Was the laboratory from before, where they tested the uranium? No, impossible, you hadn’t seen any weapon there, and there weren’t any other rooms inside that building. Was the commandant corrupted? Wanted he to give you deliberately wrong information just to mess with you? Which it was? You didn’t know. You didn’t want to give up, but where the possibilities didn’t allow you to succeed, it was better to consider a retreat.

You opened your eyes, your fingers already on the radio, to communicate to your colleagues, about the failure of the mission, and so, the failure of the agency, and the end of their oath with the mafia.

-Tsk, - the man whispered, fishing out of his pocket a napkin to clean his hands, -I had to see the atrocities in that laboratory for nothing.

Then, you noticed something. The hand that Chuuya was laying on the paper, glistened in blue. Wait. His ability was red, why now it was blue?

Then, he moved the hand from the napkin, to scratch his nape, and the handprint remained on the paper for a bit, only to disappear after a few minutes. You fished a flashlight from your pocket, and pointed it where the handprint should have been. There it was. But when you took the light away, it disappeared.

-Well, we should go back, and probably think to a better plan, I’m sure that asshole of Dazai knows what to do-

-Chuuya.

He opened his eyes.

You looked at him, an idea started to shape inside your mind.

-Did you touch anything back at the laboratory?

He blinked, then noticing you were serious, answered:

-Eh? Uh, the notes, and a few thermostatic cups, they had blue and black fluids in them, I was curious you know?

You widened your eyes: obviously there was nothing there. There couldn’t be anything. You smiled, understanding how this was going to work.

-Follow me.

You told him, and you ran toward the laboratory. After a few minutes, you heard steps approaching,

-What are you doing? We have already visited the laboratory.

He yelled while running.

-It’s invisible ink. – You screamed back, -when you placed your hand on that paper on the wall, your handprint disappeared after a bit, but when I pointed the flashlight on it, it was still there. – you fastened your run, -it is a reversible one, they’re well equipped.

-Reversible one? Seriously, this shit exists?

You nodded, -Yes, they’re created in laboratory, using thymolphthalein and sodium hydroxide, they’re elements which react to the carbon dioxide, that there is also in the air.

You entered the laboratory, turning off the lights.

-Ehy what are you-

-These kinds of inks, disappear when a heat source goes away, so if we turn off the lights, it should appear only where I point this one – you lifted the flashlight.

-But the lights were on before, shouldn’t had they heat the room whole?

-Exactly, - you said, -we didn’t notice because probably, they were covered with notes, or probably since the room whole was heated, we couldn’t notice, were the lights indicated some hidden words.

You started to point the flashlight here and there, on the papers, on the different recipients that there were on the counters, on the walls, searching for anything.

Chuuya followed, a bit amazed by how fast you thought. who would have thought that? He had to restrain his urge to pat you, complimenting your intelligence.

-satisfy my curiosity,

You nodded, keeping researching,

-Why it was blue? Did they add some colorants?

You giggled. How innocent of him.

-No, it is the cobalt chloride, which is of a bluish color.

-Eh?

-It is the component that helps the ink to be reversible.

-Oh.

He understood very little of what you said, but added nothing. His head was already hurting so much; but, he had to admit, he felt rather amazed by your chemistry knowledge.

You kept pointing the flashlight here and there, until you noticed something on the wall where should have been the windows. It was a poster, about elements: Oxygen, tungsten, nitrogen, helium, rhenium. There wasn’t anything odd, till that point. But when you pointed the flashlight on them, you noticed that there was another letter, written on the poster, visible only with the invisible ink: D.

It came before oxygen. It was the first letter before the other elements.

Your eyes roamed all over the paper, trying to find an answer, then, your brain resolved the issue, before you could even think: it was a sentence, and each element was a different letter.

D, O (oxygen), W (tungsten), N (nitrogen), He (helium), Re (rhenium).

Down here.

Down here. So-

You noticed a grate under the poster, that wasn’t fixated on the wall, you crouched, while Chuuya looked at you, confused.

Removing the lattice, you discovered that there was another corridor, smaller, but it was large enough to walk into.

Chuuya kneeled too, staring at the dark lobby in front of you. He could feel his heart race: were you a sort of genius or something?

-How…how did you understand it?

You felt yourself blush, under his strong gaze: had he always looked that cute, while surprised?

You smiled, starting to crawl inside the corridor,

-I’ll tell you while we go, now hurry!

He followed you, and you both left the laboratory behind your backs. After a few moments, some bottles startled again, like before. Neither of you noticed.

The environment after the corridor, was completely different: the passage ended on a large atrium, where there were some soldiers which were carrying some weapons, like rifles and bombs, bullets and many other things you had barely saw in your entire life.

Some of them wore the uniform, others, the gowns. It had completely the aspect of an area which was truly top secret.

However, they looked in turmoil, there were people running here and there, and sometimes someone let out a yelled order. Something wasn’t right, you could sense it.

You reached for a soldier- no, he was probably a scientist, since he had the gown. He trembled and had a thick layer of sweat on his forehead, his eyes darted on the complete surface of the room, as to research for an emergency exit.

-Sir, - you coughed to adjust your voice, but it only startled the man more, -sir, I beg your pardon if this will bother you, but I would prefer to be informed about what is actually going on.

You tried to sound formal the most, but you knew it well that your military jargon sucked.

However, the poor man, seemed too much scared to care, so, he adjusted his glasses, and muttered an answer:

-T-T-The room with the Uranium…has-has been violated!

You blood ran cold: they were already there.

An alarm went off, and it echoed through all the place.

-Okay, time to hit some shitheads.

Chuuya muttered behind you, adjusting his hat, probably he was missing his fedora.

-Ehy old man, - he yelled to the scientist, ruining completely all your formal speech from before, -where is it, this Uranium.

The poor scientist exhaled another trembling answer, but before he could tell you where you had to head to, he got swept up by a crowd of soldiers with rifles, that ran in the opposite direction of the three of you.

-It has to be there, - the ginger screamed at you, -c’mon let’s follow them.

You two ran again, following the soldiers, your uniform was getting too heavy for you, the tiredness was making his sick work. You had to push the sleeves up, to avoid them getting in the way, and the trouser’ sleeves, were falling repeatedly on your shoes.

A hand gripped yours, pushing you forward,

You adjusted the hat on your head, only to notice, that the one that was gripping firmly your hand, was Chuuya. You smiled, for a bit, but you did.

You reached a smaller laboratory, that contained less material than the other one. However, there were on the counter, weapons you had never seen before. They were someway similar to rifles, but instead of the bullets, they contained a silverish material, it wasn’t liquid, rather viscous, you would say.

On the counter too, there were some syringes with the same color, and some cups too, almost everything, in that laboratory, was covered in that shade.

And it wasn’t good.

It meant that everything, in there, was Uranium.

You should have worn masks, and yet, you were there, without any protection: you had to make this quick, or no one there, would have come out alive. The thought of dying and letting others die because of some fool, wasn’t in your plans.

You gritted your teeth.

A mischievous laugh interrupted your train of thoughts: it came from the counter in front of you, and yet, there was no one there. Then, after a few moments, in front of you, appeared a man, glitching.

-Well, well, well, we have been discovered, how fun. – He laughed again, sinister and dry.

You gripped your gun, but it was useless, the rifles that the soldiers held, were useless, the element contained in the laboratory was that radioactive, that a bullet would have been enough to send everyone in the afterlife.

-Stop it, why the hell are you doing something like this?

You yelled. His disgusting gaze travelled on you,

-Oh, that’s easy, little one - money. Those weapons would make us earn millions, if sold at the black market.

Just as you thought. You looked at Chuuya, and he reciprocated your worried stare.

-But I shouldn’t confess this to you, should I? You could arrest me,

-I don’t have that kind of power.

-Yes, that you have. Armed detective agency agent.

You widened your eyes, what?

You felt a rustling behind you. Turning, you saw the guard that let you inside the building that asked you, your names. His looks, changed, and he started to resemble more and more another person, his chin, his beard, his height, everything shapeshifted.

-Shit. It was way too easy the way they let us in.

Chuuya whispered. You felt your hands tremble in adrenaline.

-He read your name on the time card you hid inside your trousers’ pocket.

You touched your back: it was the truth, your identify card from the agency, was hanging from your pocket. Miscalculation, terrible miscalculation.

The man wanted to hit you with a piece of wood, but you dodged it, rolling on the floor; a soldier went to hit him, but he was immediately sent to fly, he fell on the ground, blood spurting all over, his limbs didn’t move: he was dead.

-Forgive him, he is still learning how to control his strength. He drunk the liquid only a few hours ago.

You recalled how a few cups were empty, in the laboratory, you thought it was just because some experiments didn’t go well, and instead, it was those fools, who drunk them.

-Oh no.

You stuttered. The tags on the cups reported three different names: invisibility, shapeshifting, flying. They were all abilities. They were experiments about abilities. And those fools drunk them wholes.

A pair of soldiers went to hit the invisible man, that at this point, he should have been the boss of the organization. But he made himself invisible, and then appeared again, at their back. He crouched and broke the neck of both of them.

You grimaced; it was disgusting.

Wait.

They were only two. Where was the third one?

Something lifted Chuuya, making him fly on the ceiling. You turned, worried, only to see him, using his ability to stop his fall on the floor. Another man, followed him, floating. You frowned: there it was. The third one.

-well, it was fun to talk to you, but now. It’s time to sleep for you all. – he grinned, -forever.

You gritted your teeth, dodging his kick. You rolled on the floor, and grabbed him by the leg, trying to make him fall on the ground, but he smirked, and made himself invisible again, escaping from your tight grip.

Chuuya threw his dagger in front of the flying man, but he dodged it, following the ginger on the ceiling, they ran, fighting upside-down.

You went to grab the shapeshifting one, with the help of another soldier, you pushed him on the ground, but he changed his shape in a tile, becoming incredibly heavy.

The invisible one appeared behind you, pressing your wrist with his feet. You screamed; it was going to break like that. But a kick sent him on the wall.

You turned, trying to get up, only to notice that Chuuya, was staring at the man with a dead look inside his eyes. His blue eyes, were again merciless.

-Are you well?

You nodded, but when you were about to take his hand, the shapeshifter returned in his true form and gripped you, pushing you on the ground again.

You two rolled outside the laboratory, ending near the atrium, where you were before.

Since you weren’t near the Uranium anymore, you fished out your gun, firing two bullets, but the enemy got up and touched the wall, becoming immediately part of it.

You swore under your breath.

Something was sent on the wall, again, and you thought that Chuuya might have kicked someone else. But this time, you saw the ginger glued on the surface, almost unconscious. You turned, only to notice the flying man rest crouched on the floor.

Someone kicked you on the back, and you fell again, coughing. You felt almost nauseated.

-I thought you both were stronger, what’s wrong? Giving up already?

The invisible one mocked you.

Chuuya got up on his trembling legs. Using his ability, he threw the man a few pebbles that fell from the wall, but he got invisible again, and dodged them, changing his position through the space.

You gripped him, ignoring the soreness of your back and your left wrist. You hid behind a pillar, it was secure, for the moment.

You looked at him, you had never seen the redhead with blood and bruises on his face. Your heart faltered: he was wounded, not severely, but he was, and it made your anxiety increase terribly.

-They’re too strong we can’t beat them.

You muttered, lowering your gaze.

-Y/n…

-No Chuuya, Y/n nothing. They’re beating us completely, there’s no way we can win.

He gripped you by your shoulders.

-See? That’s it. That’s what makes me mad about you.

You blinked; a tired churn stirred in your stomach.

-W-what are you-

-You completely discovered this place by yourself, blabbered about all those chemistry things as if they were the weather forecast, and now, that a few assholes are making themselves big because they have those abilities, you want to give up? No. It doesn’t make any sense.

-But-

-You always find the weirdest solutions to problems, but when it comes to handling fights, you always want to give up, don’t think I didn’t notice.

You lowered your gaze, the sound of rifles, seemed so distant. It was strange, how you could make everyone shut up, but in front of him, you always felt incredibly naked.

He gripped your hands, intertwining his fingers with yours; you widened your eyes.

-Can’t you be confident in your fighting abilities, just for once?

He whispered.

Your frowned: you could feel the sorrow in your throat tighten it.

-I’m trying, but really, they’re too strong, I didn’t even hit them once,

You murmured, discouraged.

-Hey, - he called for you, his tone was a bit softer than before, -each one of us has a weak spot. Even the ones who look invincible, instead, especially those ones. You just have to find it. – he lowered his voice tone, -they drunk some experiments, and experiments are called like this because they exist to be tested. They surely have a flaw that those shits didn’t notice. – He searched for your eyes, but you were too busy at staring at your hands intertwined, they were warm, and they reassured you a little.

-Okay, I’ll try.

You muttered, unsure.

He rested his forehead on yours, you could feel his warmth, it gave you goosebumps. The grip on your hands tightened, despite the pain inside your wrist, his hold wasn’t bothering you at all.

You could feel his breath on your skin, the tips of your noses bumped together; if he had just leaned forward a bit, your lips would have touched.

But again, it happened nothing.

He just stayed there, staring at you closely.

-I know you can do it.

He whispered, then, he hesitated a bit, but withdrew from your hold, distancing himself from you. He stood up, blinking at you, with a small smirk on his face. Then, he dove again in the battlefield.

You touched your forehead: it was still warm. Like his hands.

A weak spot.

Shaking your head, you tried to focus. A weak spot, you had to find a weak spot.

You left the safety of the pillar only to find a terrible spectacle in front of you: a bunch of soldiers were laying on the floor, soulless. Blood dirtied everything, as those three kept killing, and killing and killing.

You gritted your teeth. You had to stop this, immediately.

You glared at the invisible man, that was now trying to dodge a bullet from a soldier, making himself invisible. Then, he dodged another one, and another, till it looked difficult to become invisible.

He needs time to recharge, he can’t make himself invisible for a lot of time.

An idea popped up in your mind: calling for your ability, you fished out from your pocket, a sack of flour. You ran towards the man, that was trying to become invisible again, and threw on him the white dust. Immediately, his power didn’t work anymore.

He yelled, trying to clean himself from the flour, but it was useless, there was too much. He tripped on his own feet and fell on the ground.

You fished out a pair of handcuffs and blocked him. Then, from your pocket, you created a napkin with chloroform, and pushed it under his nose.

-This is for having kidnapped the commander, - he fell asleep, and you punched him. -And this, is because you were following us before.

He fell limp on the ground. He would have been asleep for a while.

Now, you understood, those startled bottles back in the laboratory, because they moved on their own. It was this criminal, invisible, following you around. He surely laughed a lot, when you and Chuuya lost yourselves in the corridor, and wondered if giving up was the best solution. You wanted to hit him again, but hitting a knocked-out man, was wrong, so you held back, deciding to focus on the two thugs that remained.

The tile under your feet shifted, and came out two arms, that wanted to grip you, but you were faster and jumped on the one in front of you.

The shapeshifting man returned to his form, and you took advantage of momentum to punch him, making him fly, then, he returned on the ground, and, touching a chair he shaped himself like that, trying to blend with the battlefield.

You went to grab him, but he transformed himself again, and tried to escape.

Stumbling, you reached for his leg, pushing him on the ground, he tried to shift into a tile again, but you lifted him from the ground, holding him by the hem of his shirt.

-Thought you could escape? – You punched him, -I’m sorry I ruined your plan, - you whistled, calling for Chuuya, - But I can’t allow you to touch anything, if I would, you could certainly shift into the object you touched.

And with that, the ginger used his ability to lift the man above your head. He squirmed, trying to free himself from the tight grip of the gravity.

-Be quiet, or I will push you so hard in the floor, you will reach the center of the Earth, - he murmured, the cap covering his eyes, -understood?

The man immediately froze, nodding that fast, that you worried it could have been unscrewed from the neck.

You rested a hand on his shoulder, smiling,

-Thank you,

He smiled back at you, before adverting his gaze. You did the same, feeling your cheeks warming a bit. The languor inside your stomach returned stronger than before. You were almost getting used to it.

-Don’t let him go, be careful, I will catch the last one.

-Roger that.

He yelled, while you were already too far to hear him answer.

You ran, trying to dodge the corpses that were lying on the floor, they were really a lot, and they would have increased if you wouldn’t have stopped those criminals.

Suddenly, you felt a buzzing, coming from the ceiling.

You stopped running, and, still panting, you lifted your head,

The man was floating above your head, with a mischievous grin on his face. You smirked:

-You don’t have any wings, and yet, you’re noisy just like a fly. Not good for hiding, right?

His grin widened,

-It’s not like I need it, - he descended, you stepped forward, hiding a dagger inside your pocket, -besides, the one who’s going to die, it’s you.

He flew in your direction, but you were faster, and dodged his attack. Fishing out your dagger, you turned to hit him, but he surprised you from above, and kicked you on the back. Despite falling on the ground, you rolled on your side and grabbed your weapon again.

He followed suit, dragging you on the floor, before lifting you high as the ceiling. Your blood ran cold, it was high, way too high. You could feel a bit of nausea approaching.

Sensing your inner turmoil, the flying man mocked you:

-What is it? Already giving up? I thought you were stronger, detective.

Your eyes darted on his disgusting face: he wore an annoying grin, and his eyes, lacked light completely. They were opaque, similar to when Chuuya got angry. You frowned. No. It was different. Even if the opaqueness was that one, the redhead always preserved a bit of gentleness in his darkness. It was as if there was an obscure elegance, in his darkened eyes. Instead, the ones of the flying man, were dark completely, narrow, sinister, you didn’t know, but there was something that made you think that those eyes had never glistened with light before. They were plain, empty, Chuuya’s ones, were luminous, sometimes, and you were sure that it wasn’t because of their light shade.

Kindness was something a few only had, and the flying man in front of you wasn’t one of the adepts. Chuuya yes, he was. Despite being “bad”, he had a small part of the “good”.

Something came up on your mind, like an old song:

Sometimes the “bad”, do “good”.

Sometimes the “good”, do “bad”.

And you in that moment, understood, that despite being good, now, being bad, was the only thing that would have solved the situation.

You punched the man in the face, with your free wrist, he flew behind, still holding you; you lifted your silhouette, and he trembled, clearly struggling to keep flying. You grabbed him by his shoulders, freeing your other hand from his strong holding.

He trembled again, struggling to fly. You grinned, punching him again.

-As I suspected, - you whispered, closer to him to let him hear you, -you can’t fly with someone, you weight too much for your bones.

You kicked him in the gut, he crouched, beginning to fall.

-Let me tell you a thing, - you fell with him, -greediness is bad for the soul, - he fell on the ground, breaking a few tiles. You fell on him, wavering your hand to free your eyes from the dust. -And, - grabbing the hem of his shirt, you lifted his semi-conscient figure from the ground, -the armed detective agency, never gives up.

With that, you punched him again, knocking the man off completely.

You breathed, drying the sweat from your forehead, but in all fairness, you were soaked. Grimacing, you decided that once at home, you should have taken a bath.

With a sigh, you dragged him on your shoulders, reaching Chuuya in the atrium.

In the large room, in was a catastrophe: there were puddles of blood everywhere, and lifeless bodies rested motionless on the ground. Only a small portion of soldiers, was still alive. You fisted your hands, admitting with a hint of regret, that you would have preferred to save everyone, but you knew, deep inside of you, that it would have been impossible. People died, no matter what.

You noticed Chuuya sat on a wall, glaring at the shapeshifting man; you felt a small smile stretch your lips, and you let it. Then, as if he felt stared at, the redhead turned his head, and his glare melted, noticing that you were back, without serious wounds.

He jumped from the wall, and landed on the floor gracefully. You felt a small shiver trespass your back.

He stared at you, carrying the man on your shoulders, then he huffed.

-He’s heavy, isn’t he? Give it to me.

In no time, the man glistened in red, and lifted from your back. You could feel the latter crack, as you felt relieved, you didn’t have that thug on you, anymore.

Then, Chuuya lifted the still fainted invisible one, and brought them closer to the shapeshifter one.

-Let’s go, we have to bring them on the surface.

You nodded, and with that, you two, left.

You opened the door of the building with the pass you still had on the neck: the sky wasn’t cloudy anymore, instead, a large sun, illuminated the blue sky. Only a few white, small clouds, walked through it.

You narrowed your eyes, at the sunlight, but you couldn’t deny that the sunrays that warmed your face, were incredibly comfortable.

-Aah, it’s ended, finally.

Chuuya muttered, while stirring his back.

You closed your eyes, letting the sun warm your face. Despite the relief that you felt, a small languor pinched at your stomach: it’s ended. For real this time. This had been your last mission with Chuuya, from tomorrow, you would have been enemies again.

You opened your eyes, lowering your gaze.

You received a message from Kunikida, the agency and the port mafia were outside, waiting for them. You sighed, smiling bitterly.

It has been beautiful, for how long it lasted.

-What are you overthinking about, mh?

You jumped in your place. Lifting your eyes, you noticed the redhead staring at you, curious.

-I-

You started, but you didn’t know what to say. Sighing, your eyes darted all over the place, that surrounded you both. You had to answer him, but how? A bit of adrenaline returned, and it exhausted you even more. Your heart told you exactly what you had to say, but your mind was too scared, to let it out.

-Chuuya I well-

He lifted an eyebrow: he had never seen your face that red, before, for a moment he wondered if you were about to faint, because of fatigue.

You swallowed, feeling the adrenaline making your legs weak.

-W-what I’m trying to say is that-

-Ehy! You two! You shitheads!

A third, foreign voice yelled to you both, making you snap out of the dizzy state where you had fallen. You both turned, and noticed, two soldiers, only dressed in underwear, staring at you with a truce look.

-You robbed us of our uniforms, right? You won’t get away with it!

Oh no. The soldiers which you stole the pass from, were awake again.

Chuuya grabbed you by your shoulders,

-What did you want to tell me?

His eyes darted all over your face, and you did the same.

You could hear the two angry soldiers rush towards you both, and, answered Chuuya:

-What I wanted to say is that we should run.

And then, you started running, intimating him to follow you.

After stalling for seconds, he ran behind you, bringing with him, the three floating criminals.

Chapter 8.5

Days went on: the day became night, and the night became day again. The sky was steady and quiet, indifferent to the tumultuous lives humans carried on. And again, the sunset turned into dawn, and the dawn into sunset.

You walked steadily, where the ocean shattered. The salty fragrance invaded your nose, you breathed, inhaling as much as you could.

Time was indifferent to the change, and yet, it changed everything.

The work at the agency returned the usual: filling reports, stopping the usual gangs from robbing jewelries, Kunikida yelling because Dazai wasn’t working. Life was quiet again, like the sky.

But you, victim of the time, changed. There was something, that was missing, something you couldn’t replace with any other. There was a hole, inside, where your heart beat.

The wind moved your hair, you rested your hands on the railing, the ocean beneath you, moved slowly, the waves swinging back and forth. The water reflected the steady, indifferent sky: a deep, glistening cerulean. You smiled, but it was weak, it died when another wind blow, brushed your face.

Cerulean.

Like his eyes.

A heavy feeling whumped your chest: it was something tiny, simple, you almost felt stupid for how much you let this affect you; and yet, you couldn’t deny the stinging feeling inside your heart:

You didn’t tell him.

You didn’t tell him how you felt.

How those many times in which he mocked you, you actually liked it, how happy he made you, when he protected you from that lethal bullet. That night, at the bar, when he listened to your whining about the mission, and didn’t judge, how relieved you felt, when he listened your story, and didn’t interrupt you, and then, told you his. And your last mission? Your mind would have been some hard times, forgetting everything. There were too many things to process.

How far had you two come; thinking of the first times, you couldn’t even look at him in the face, and now, you were missing his eyes the most. You had lost count, of the mornings in which you felt sad, or simply empty, wishing you could see his face, just only one more time.

You wished you could tell him, that despite the difficult situation in which you two were, you didn’t care.

You just wanted to be with him, you just wanted him.

But you couldn’t. And now, between your hands, there was nothing but the weight of unspoken words.

You gripped the railing firmly, noticing how your throat felt constricted, the image of him smiling popped up in your mind:

Things are not obvious, until someone affirm, they are so.

The night made his blue eyes even more luminous, the street was quiet, the ocean shattered in the darkness: closing your eyes, you were there again, between his arms, on that lonely bench, talking about your past. He smiled, whispering reassuring words to your ears, making you nervous, the kind of nervousness, you enjoyed feeling.

Then, your mind went back to the mellow lights of the bar, where the dawn was rising, and you two, still awoke, talked seriously for the first time. Again, your mind kept charging memories of you with him, till your first mission, when he mocked you for being an overthinker.

-Guess you were right, Chuuya… - you murmured, feeling the weight on your chest increase, -if I hadn’t been like this, now you would know how I feel.

Thinking I was so opposed to work with the mafia, Chuuya what did you do to me?

Opening your eyes, you noticed how your grip on the railing was stronger, now:

-Yosano…- you muttered, -Yosano-sensei was right, - you admitted to yourself. It burned, it burned oh so much, you felt like a fire was burning everything inside your chest.

You recalled, how you got interrupted, during your last mission, you were about to tell him, you really were, but then, those two soldiers surprised you, and your mind short-circuited, answering the man, with completely different words, compared to the ones you thought.

The regret turned into ashes, and fell from your eyes, in the form of tears.

-I can’t, - a sob broke your monologue, -suppress these feelings.

The words you two left unspoken, built a cathedral of solitude around your souls.

Your eyes were now filled with water, you didn’t remember the last time, tears burned that much.

Chapter 9

Three weeks later.

-Be careful, they look more ferocious than usual.

Kunikida instructed, as you all loaded your guns. Mafia returned more aggressive than usual. This time, the matter concerned an explosion of a building in the middle of the city, it was a threat, for a company that decided to betray them, but the explosion had been that intense, that it blew up also other two blocks near there. Most important, there were already a pair of casualties, you had to solve this immediately.

You nodded, preparing to dive into the battlefield. Sighing, you got up, but the dizziness made you trip on your own feet. You thought you’d fall on the ground, but a gloved hand kept you still.

You turned, only to find Yosano staring at you.

-You okay Y/n?

Still a bit disoriented, you nodded in agreement.

-Yes…I think. Sorry, I’m not sleeping a lot, lately.

The woman gave you a concerned look, but added nothing: she knew far too well, what, or better, who provoked your insomnia, and she felt even a bit sad for you, you had always been one of the best agents of the agency, but in the last weeks, you seemed rather absentminded, causing a bit of trouble with the cases. Even now, the look on your face was tired, empty.

There are things, that we pursuit even when we have the certainty we will lose, one day. And yet, even if we’re aware of it, we let the loss of those things hurt us, as if we didn’t see it coming. But, who said that knowing something, prevents you from hurting?

You dove in the battlefield, the doctor just stared at you in the distance.

Kunikida wasn’t lying when he said that they were being aggressive. It has been a while since you saw Mafia using that much of cruelty in public, during morning.

You rolled on the ground, dodging a lemon grenade. In the distance, you could hear a mischievous laugh.

Getting up, you ran toward a civilian, and pushed him on the ground, to avoid another explosion. You helped the disoriented man getting up, and put him on the corner of the street, intimating him to run, because that wasn’t a safe place.

Then, you kept running, to free the street from as many people as possible.

Someone grabbed you from behind, pushing you on the ground, you grabbed him by the leg, making him fall on the ground too; you got up, and he tried to grab your arm, to drag you under again, but you took his wrist with your hand and broke it, turning it upside-down. The man yelled in pain, and you took advantage of it, to punch him twice, to knock him out.

Then, you felt another person approaching from behind, you lost no time in turning, gun loaded. When you whirled: a dagger lingered perfectly on your throat, your gun, on the forehead of the man.

When the dust decreased, you saw it: dark jacket, like night’s cloak, red hair that made you remember of flames, covered by a black fedora. A pair of opaque, blue gemstones, was embedded on his face, contracted in a deep scowl.

Despite the hard features, you could feel, as if the man in front of you, was covered in a filthy and fascinating violence, that, despite the devilish smell, preserved an elegance that only him, could have.

Your heart dropped, and so did your gun, that fell on the ground without a sound.

The man too, in front of you, looked startled.

-Chuuya.

Your mouth struggled, to let that known name out. It has been a lot, since you pronounced his name at high voice, the syllables almost felt foreign, on your lips.

-Y/n.

His tone mirrored yours: dry, confused, and also a bit worried.

Honestly, during the past weeks, he drunk more than he had ever done. Koyo had never seen him drinking so much in a while, and when he didn’t have a bottle of wine between his hands, he looked distant, and also melancholic. His eyes were always absent, as if they were staring at something so, so far. He was slow, in both combats and missions, and during night, he rolled and rolled inside his bed, without being able to sleep. He couldn’t dream, was his sour consolation.

A bomb exploded in the distance. Chuuya shook his head: he was on a mission, he was working, it wasn’t time to let sentimentalisms arise. But looking at your disoriented eyes, still made his limbs tremble a bit: had you always been that beautiful?

Anyway, he couldn’t let his men die, because of his feelings for you.

-Chuuya I-

-Sorry. I got to go.

Then, he adjusted his dagger inside his pocket, and turned, hiding his face under the fedora.

-But-

-I can’t kill you, so I will just ignore you, okay? Stay away.

And with that, he began to walk.

You stared at him with wide eyes: he looked like a completely different person, and it has been only three weeks. You frowned: it hurt, just a bit, but it hurt. And yet, you had no right to feel like that, he was working after all, and you too. You were enemies. But this word sounded foreign, if compared to the image of Chuuya. It has been a lot, since you considered him an enemy of yours, but he didn’t look like he cared that much about it, since he was leaving you right there in the battlefield.

Suddenly, all the things you two shared, hit you like a wave. You were tired of thinking about what would have happened, if you did this or did that, if you said this or said that, you had already lost him once, because of your overthinking, now, that you had the occasion to talk to him a second time, you decided that it was time to turn off the brain, breathe, and just let out what you really thought. Yosano’s words came back to you:

-Because you’re searching in the wrong place. – The doctor answered simply, -you’re searching the answers for a feeling with your logic, that doesn’t care at all about sentimentality.

You closed your eyes:

-I’ve missed you.

You yelled, loud enough so he could hear you.

His figure stiffened, but he didn’t turn.

-And I still do.

-I’m working, I said.

He turned a bit his face.

-I don’t care. I wanted to tell you.

You panted as if you had run kilometers, and in a sense, you did it. You were running around this matter for months now, and now, you were tired, tired of running and never reaching the end.

Chuuya stood still for a bit, then, tsked and turned towards you.

But his eyes, were still cold.

He moved a few steps forward, to reach you.

He remained silent, and it was becoming difficult to shut the voice inside your head. Finally, he stood in front of you, while another explosion made dust rise, in the background. You never lowered your gaze, looking at his eyes firmly, organizing your speech.

Then, he grabbed you by the wrist, and guided you out of the battlefield. Stumbling on the pebbles, you followed him. You felt sorry for leaving your colleagues alone fighting, but it wasn’t like they couldn’t handle a fight with a missing member.

The man was silent, as he dragged you both in a secluded alleyway, not so distant from the field, but enough to talk without receiving a lemon grenade on the head.

He stopped, and left your wrist, still not looking at you.

You waited, a bit distant, to leave him space; then, a voice came, lower than a whisper.

-You did miss me. Really?

There was a hint of annoyance, in his voice.

-So why didn’t you call me, or text me, we’re in the twenty-first century, talking to someone who’s far away, shouldn’t be difficult.

You frowned.

-The president made us delete all our contacts with you, when the previous mission finished. I bet the boss obliged you to do the same.

He turned, huffing a small laugh.

-Obviously, he made us do it.

-So, what are you talking about?

His face returned serious, as he answered you again,

-I’m saying that if you oh so much missed me, you could have just searched for me.

-It doesn’t make any sense. You knew it well that I couldn’t. You’re in the mafia, and I’m with the agency, there was no way I could search you.

He made an expression you couldn’t explain, but it was as if he had obtained all the answers he was searching, with the one, you gave him.

He lowered his gaze.

-So, it’s like this. – He turned again, a bitter smile on his face. -There is nothing to discuss, let’s end this conversation here-

-And yet, - you interrupted him, lowering your gaze, -I couldn’t bring myself to forget you.

Memories of the past days rushed in your mind, and you frowned again, three weeks, it has been only three weeks, why did it seem like years?

-I couldn’t bring myself, - you breathed, -to avoid thinking you.

-Y/n please, you’re making things difficult.

His voice sounded pained, as he still didn’t turn.

You debated back, letting everything out.

-No, you’re making things difficult, Nahakara. – You swallowed, feeling your throat constrict, -I can’t understand you at all: a minute before, you look like you want to protect me with all your being, and a moment after, you look like you want to kill me. It has always been like this, between us, a constant being friends, and then being enemies. But to be honest, I don’t think of you as an enemy, since our first missions. And I don’t think it now, neither.

Chuuya turned, to look at you: you were almost reflecting his sadness, head hanging low, and shoulders that hid it. You looked so small, defenseless, in front of what should have been your worst enemy.

-You know? You were right, when you told me that I like to overthink. You always repeated it to me, I remember that I wanted to hit you so much, when you firstly said it.

-Man, you really like getting lost in that little head of yours, don’t you?

You stiffened, puffing your cheeks.

-I just think about possibilities and outcomes of the various situations.

-Basically, you overthink.

Your mind recalled one of your first conversations that clearly, you could almost see it in front of you.

You bit the inside of your cheek.

-But you were right, I overthink, too much. And because of it, I- you swallowed again, and this time, hurt more than expected, -I lost the only one that had listened to me completely, in all my life.

And you meant it. Since your mother had been in that nursery house, you had no one to talk to. Yes, you had the agency, and a few friends, but you hadn’t opened up that much to your friends like you did with Chuuya.

Too wrapped up in your own speech, you hadn’t realized, that Chuuya was in front of you, staring at you with something akin to tenderness in his eyes.

-At the beginning, I thought that I could ignore this feeling, because I felt like it was wrong. – You tried to dismiss the tremble in your voice with a cough, but it was way too obvious, -and that you were being nice to me, just because we were allies, but- you swallowed again, feeling your chest cracking, -but as time went by, what I felt became bigger and bigger, and I arrived to the point in which I didn’t want to suppress my emotions anymore. That you were being kind, not just because we were allies, but because being on a different side from mine, doesn’t forbid bring gentle.

You swallowed again, your nose hurt, and you were sure, that it was all red.

-We just did so much together, I wish I hadn’t never had to let you go.

Chuuya wrapped his arms around your small frame, and dragged you on his chest, where you let a few tears escape from your eyes. You couldn’t bear it anymore. Your feelings were overflowing, it was beautiful, but oh so frustrating.

-I hate it Chuuya, the distance between us. It’s been only three weeks, but it feels like a lot. I have so many thoughts about you, they keep racing inside my mind, without resting. And it’s tiring, - a sob escaped your mouth, you had never felt that embarrassed in all your life. -You don’t know, you don’t know about how each morning, when I open my eyes, my stomach feels punched, and believe me, it really feels like I’m being punched, - you sighed, angrily wiping your tears away, -Or how much my head throbs, or how I can’t just stop crying.

You definitely broke, crouching on his chest, as if to search a shelter, for your vulnerability.

-That’s all, that’s how I feel, that’s what I think about you. But I can’t be sure about what I said, if you don’t say anything.

You let out a few sobs more, and Chuuya felt his heart constrict. It was the first time, you broke that much in front of him. He kept looking at you: trembling, sad, confused. He almost wanted to punch himself, for how he made you feel. He just, never expected you would feel like this about him, there was a lot better, outside, and there you were, wasting tears on a mafioso, that had nothing to give you, but a troubled relationship.

He frowned: to be honest, he too, had a few things to say, and now, it was the perfect moment:

-Want to know, what I thought of you when I saw it for the first time?

You nodded weakly; your sobs didn’t decrease.

-When we met for the first time, I had the impression you were an annoying brat, always firm on your ideas, in an excessive and stubborn way, I even considered asking the boss to change partner. – He carded his fingers through your hair, scratching your scalp, -then, we had that fight in the building near the ocean, and then, the other one for the custody of the commandant, and fuck, you were good at fighting. I had to admit that I mistook you. – He closed his eyes, recalling how you put those thugs twice your size down, only with a pair of daggers, -and at the same time, I found you…kind. Despite all the things you had been through. And then, - he lifted your head, wiping away a few tears, from your face, -I realized you were clever, a lot. Man, what even was that thing with chemical elements, back in the laboratory? My head almost hurt when you explained how it worked. – You felt your lips stretch in a small smile, too much embarrassed, you looked downcast.

-But most important of all, - he drew you closer to him even more, -I wanted to stay close to you, in a way I’ve never thought about anyone else. But I…- he faltered a bit, and you could read his hesitation, about admitting something, then, as if he had decided what to do, lifted his gaze again: -I was…scared. – he admitted reluctantly.

You widened your eyes, gasping under your breath: such vulnerability, was something you had never witnessed about him, but you had to admit, it wasn’t unfitting. He always gave you the impression of someone who bottled up his feelings a lot.

Brushing your cheeks again, he kept talking,

-I was scared because, we should be enemies, and I couldn’t allow myself to be with someone that was with an organization, that fought against the one where I worked. But at the same time, I couldn’t ignore how beautiful and strong I found you.

His eyes stared into yours, with such an intensity, you felt your chest melt. You sniffed, sometimes sobbed, but you found your self not being able of tearing your gaze away from his. His eyes were soft, and yet, they looked at you with a deep strength that made your stomach riot.

-I didn’t care about the alliance, I wanted to protect you, because I wanted to, not because we were colleagues. It was different.

In that moment, you realized another thing: Chuuya had always, always, always, looked after you, even when he gave you the impression of not caring about you, even when he seemed annoyed by you. He just wanted to avoid hurting you. When he teared you away from that bullet, when he slitted the throat of that man, when he lifted you on the ceiling, to avoid the enemies grabbing you and killing you. Signals were everywhere, and yet, you noticed nothing.

You rested your hands on his chest, another question was pressing you:

-Before, on the battlefield, you said you couldn’t kill me,

-That’s right. That’s because I don’t want to hurt you. – he rested his forehead upon yours, giving you goosebumps; -I can’t. And yet, I ended up making you cry, and I can’t deny, that I didn’t feel any better, during the past weeks.

Your hands caressed his shoulders, lingering your touch on the arm, then on the forearm, till encircling his wrists. You held his hands firmly on your face, leaning into his touch. You closed your eyes:

-I don’t care, Chuuya. I don’t care. - You whispered, sounding almost desperate, -I don’t care about our organizations being enemies, I don’t care about what they could say. I think, - you pressed your forehead stronger on him, -I think that as long as work won’t interfere with us, we could try.

You breathed, feeling your throat constrict again,

-What do you think of it-

-That night, - he interrupted you, -when I threatened you to leave you on the bench, because you were falling asleep on me, you answered that I would have never left you there, and when I asked why you were so sure, you answered me that it was because you were sure of it. Why? Why you were so sure about it?

You recalled the moment,

He screamed again, shaking you, and drawing your silhouette close to his. Despite your tiredness, you could feel a faint blush, approaching your cheeks.

-Well, if you will fall asleep on me, I will leave you here.

-I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t,

-Aah? What makes you believe that I-

You smiled, remembering it way too well: it was the night when you two were sat on the bench. Your words came out smooth, your mouth let them sleep oh so gently:

-Because I knew you were worried about me.

He widened his eyes, his stomach told him that you were right.

Chuuya felt his cheeks warm a bit, but this time, he wanted to be honest with you. He asked you a question, and you replied, so you deserved an honest explanation, even if it costed a bit of his pride.

-You-you’re not wrong. I mean, I couldn’t have never left you there, in the middle of the night, someone could, - he blushed a bit more, -could hurt you.

You opened your eyes, fixating your gaze on his again, and what you saw, was the most beautiful version of him you had ever seen: deep crimson on his cheekbones, bright eyes, and eyebrows lifted, as if he was struggling to admit everything.

Cute. So cute.

Your stomach churned again with the languor you had learned to love.

-I have always been worried about you. Even when I said I wasn’t.

He wiped another humid tear from your face, smiling sheepishly.

Seeing him that embarrassed made you want to mock him, just a bit, but you wanted. You considered it just a little revenge, for how much embarrassed he made you feel, when he teased you.

-It was obvious that you were worried about me. I mean, - you left his wrists, to squish your cheeks with your fingers. You wanted to do it, since you realized you had feelings for him: they were soft, and warm, you wished you could kiss them. -You listened to my story completely, and even hugged me when I cried, aw, but I appreciate you admitting it.

He blinked a few times, the faint blush never left his face. Then, as if he had realized something, he smirked, and, with a hand, he pushed yours away, from his face, while with the other, he went to lift your chin.

-We’re becoming bold, aren’t we?

He drew his face closer to yours again, and you felt all your courage run away from your body.

He bumped his nose against yours, you could feel his breath on your skin.

You swallowed, losing the ability to talk.

-What is it? Cat got your tongue? You were teasing a moment ago if I’m not wrong.

You felt your legs tremble, he had never been this close to you, it was frustrating, you wanted to tear your gaze away from his, but at the same time, his eyes completely blocked you. You just stared at him, feeling the heat rise on your cheeks, and expand through your body whole.

His smirk slowly became a smile, and you, despite your embarrass, felt yourself smile too.

Oh my god, you’re terrible, Chuuya. You thought.

Huffing, you closed your eyes, giving him what he wanted:

-Okay, okay you won, happy?

His look returned less intense, but he didn’t back off from your face, your noses still bumping.

-Obviously. – His smile never left his lips: -You dared to tease me, you have some guts.

You punched him on the shoulder, giggling.

-I just wanted to revenge.

-For what?

-Because you always embarrass me,

-That’s not true.

-Liar.

-Fair.

You two laughed again, close. You leaned against the wall, and he never stopped holding you.

Then, laughs died down, and silence returned. Only in the distance, bombs and shots could be heard. But you two, seemed not to hear a thing.

You peeked at him, and he did it at the same time as you. Both, adverted your gazes.

You sighed, swinging back and forth, he scratched his nape, biting the inside of his cheek.

The silence filled the moments that followed that one, both of you still running around the matter, still dwelling about what you two wanted the most from the other.

Then, a hand went to cup your nape, carding the fingers in your hair.

You lifted your head that fast, that you thought it could break; Chuuya was looking at you intensely like before, and his hand on your head was soft, foreign, you leaned in his touch, still looking at him.

He got closer, tilting his head on the side. Your noses bumped again,

-Should we kiss? Or would you prefer to stare at me like that forever?

He mocked you.

Your mouth went dry, and your chest hurt, for how much your heart was beating. You wanted it, you wished for that moment, for weeks, and now, he was about to give it to you, you almost teared up again.

But another question popped up in your mind, and it was something you couldn’t ignore:

-Wait.

He stopped immediately.

-What is it?

He sounded almost worried.

You lowered your head, gathering your thoughts.

-You want to kiss me? I thought you didn’t want to.

He frowned.

-What? I’ve been holding back for a lot, obviously I want to kiss you.

It was your time to frown.

-You…you already wanted to kiss me, twice, I noticed it, I’m not stupid, - you lowered you head. It was true: he tried to kiss you once on the bench, but backed off at last, and the second time during your last mission at the military base. - But you never did, I thought that maybe it wasn’t something that you wanted from me.

You sighed, gripping his vest tight, with your hands.

Chuuya was silent for a few seconds, then, you saw his face lowers at your height; he searched for your eyes, while a hand lingered on your cheek. He caressed it, and you couldn’t resist the need, to lean into his touch.

-What are you talking about? You’re not stupid at all, Y/n. – He rested again his forehead on yours, sending another wave of warmth through your body. -That’s true, I tried to kiss you, more than once, but I assure you I didn’t back off because I didn’t want to, I would tell you the biggest bullshit of my whole existence, if I’d told you so.

You looked at him, and he read the question inside your eyes,

-The first time we were sat on that bench, and you had just finished telling me the terrible story about your past. You looked wrecked, both from the event of that day, and from the story you had told me. I wanted to kiss you, I really wanted, to let you know, that despite all the things you had been through, you’re still beautiful and kind. – he sighed, -But, I didn’t do it, because I didn’t want to take advantage of you. You were disoriented and tired. And despite my desire to kiss you, I held back, because you were that fragile, I was scared I could break you.

You sucked your breath. He hadn’t kissed you, because he didn’t want to take advantage of you. You felt your face flush. So caring, you hadn’t words to explain the warmth inside your chest; you had never felt this safe, in all your life.

-And…the second time?

He frowned,

-You really wanted your first kiss with me to be in a secret military base, while three fools were about to kill us? Of all the odd things you said, that’s the oddest.

He admitted nonchalantly.

You pondered, effectively, he was right.

-Well, not that now would be a better moment.

You whispered; you were in the middle of a battlefield, and you were supposed to work, you couldn’t ignore, that this wasn’t the best occasion, according to Chuuya’s thought process.

-Searching for the right moment, I lost the occasion to kiss you twice, I don’t want to lose it a third time.

Okay, you agreed to that, too.

And you also couldn’t deny, you wanted him to kiss you.

-Fair.

Impatience was both a flaw and a virtue of humans, it all depended where and when used.

-Don’t ever think again that I don’t want to kiss you because I don’t want to, or because I consider you not enough for me. – he got closer to you, his breath invaded completely your face, and your heart threatened to explode inside your chest. You felt your limbs tremble, as he brought again his hand behind your nape.

-You’re beautiful, and enough. And most important of all, - you closed your eyes, your cheeks were burning, -you’re the only one I want.

And with that, he stopped talking. The hand on your waist held you firm, while the other behind your nape, drew you closer to him. Like this, you two kissed. Soft, slow, tender. You had to use all your strength to avoid your legs giving out, they trembled so much, you wished Chuuya didn’t notice it, but judging by his smirk, while he kissed you, he knew completely about it.

His lips nibbled yours, and you couldn’t hold back a sigh.

He panted, only to drag you on his chest, to kiss you again. He held your face as if you were delicate, his fingers almost lingered on your skin, like he was scared to break you. But despite his gentleness, you felt how strong his feelings were. The way he didn’t leave you a moment to breathe, the way his pants hit your face, the way his lips warmed yours, just touching them. Everything, everything, in his demeanor, gave you signs of intensity. And it was strong, fierce.

You felt tears prickling at the side of your eyes:

He was there, he was really there with you, and he was really kissing you.

Everything was real, it wasn’t just a dream, that when you woke up, left you just with your eyes wet, and your stomach upset. It was really happening.

Your head was spinning, your body whole burned.

There wasn’t anything romantic in all of this. If not, you found you two pathetic, and also a bit stupid. You had to lose yourselves many different times, before admitting how you really felt, despite being obvious for both of you. At some point, you understood how he felt about you, and, considering what he had said now, he too, understood how you felt about him. And yet, neither of you made a move. Why? You sighed, encircling his neck with your arms. The answer was simple:

Things are not obvious, until someone affirm, they are so.

You smiled, parting from him.

He gifted you with the tenderest smile you had ever seen him making. You reciprocated, as a few tears left your eyes, and marked your skin.

-I love you.

Your chest hurt a lot: you had never imagined hearing it, would sound that beautiful, from him. Your mouth struggled to let the words out, but you made an effort:

-I love you too.

His smile widened, and he dove for another kiss. You were about to do the same, but then, a louder explosion made you two part immediately.

You stared at the street, where a black smoke lifted.

Blinking, you thought that the situation was even worst than when you two left. Probably, the agency needed help. You frowned, feeling a rush of nervousness hit your chest.

A subdued giggle made you turn.

Chuuya was smirking, while adjusting his coat.

-Well, it seems they need help.

He stepped where you were watching the battlefield, staring at it. You nodded.

-It looks even worse than before.

He sighed.

-Time to return to work.

He adjusted his fedora on his head, and put his hands into his pockets. You agreed, adjusting you as well, feeling much better than before. Your limbs didn’t hurt, and that annoying feeling that whumped your chest, wasn’t there anymore. You peeked at the man: he wore a serious glare, while he looked at the battle. Probably he was thinking about which orders give to his men.

You smiled, adjusting your hair: you had always thought that he had something fascinating, when he looked serious.

-Y/n.

A pair of lips hit you on the cheek. You turned, feeling your skin warm again.

-Be careful, I’ll see you after.

He whispered, and then, he just dove in the battlefield again.

You just stood there, calming the annoying thumping of your heart. Then, shaking your head, you followed him, searching for your colleagues, feeling as energic as once.

You hadn’t even said everything. You thought.

There were still a lot of things to discuss, because that time on the bench, like the one at the bar, you were sure, Chuuya hadn’t told you everything about him. He still bottled up some things, some hurtful memories, and you longed to know them, to let him know that now, he wasn’t alone, that you, you wanted to hear everything he had to say. You had time now, all the time in the world, and it inspired you so much calmness, it was a comfortable feeling, that invaded you whole, and made you feel safe, cozy even.

Love wasn’t the only thing relationships needed, you knew it, but it was the feeling that you needed to let relationships happen.

You loaded your gun.

Trust, respect, and common morals, were the ones that a relationship needed to keep going.

You fired.

Fortunately, you wanted to give Chuuya, those and even more.