strxwbxbe-blog
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can we play dead and never return?
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just becuz wai ko nag una chat simi, doesn't mean wai ko nahidlaw simo. ga huat lg ko bi nga ikaw naman una chat kag mahidlaw skon ky ako mn lg prme daan, :(
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last night, i cried so hard nga ang sister ko ara lng sa babaw samtang ga lantaw sa kdrama. Ga overthink ko things nga impossible mn matabo. Until i thought about suiciding again, bug'at2 sa pamatyagan nga ga hibi ka tas gna punggan mo lang gd ya nga hindi ka mag gahod. Wla nako may gna paminsar kagab'e kundi kaugalingon ko nlng nga ara sa cr nga may dala kutsilyo. Sa tam'an ko ka hibi, i let out a slight sob and good thing ang magulang ko naka earphones. I stood up kagab'e kag nag kadto sa cr without single sound. Nag pungko lg ko sa cr kag digto naman nag hibi, it was just 11pm di ko gusto nga mabatian ko nila mama. Nag balik ko sa babaw kag nag higda liwat, wiping my tears and calming down. Nadumduman ko naman ang mga tao nga nag betray sakon, mga nag binutig sakon, mga tao nga nakasala. I burst out in tears again.. Wala ko na namalayan nga natulugan nko gle. Bur worst i dreamt about being dead. I saw mama, papa, my sisters, brother, uncle and the love of my life, crying. I woke up, i cried nanaman and then i saw the rosary laying sa side ka bed ko. I grabbed it and take hold of it like my life depends on it. And somewhat, while holding the rosary, my heart felt light. I thoight about how the rosary saved me from the dream and how it saved me from the demons in my head. As in, law'ay sa pamatyagan. Amo na always bring or have rosary. Cuz bisan amo lng na ka gamay, dako2 gd ang bulih ya simo.
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i was as sad as me months ago
if life is a choice
Do u think about this question? Are we alive to survive or are we alive to live? Are we alive just to go to school, get a job, grow old and die? How can we live when we're surrounded with people who judges us? If life is a choice, do u think people choose to live? Maybe some will and some won't. But if I am to ask, I will not choose life because what's the point of living when you feel dead already. Until someone and there's always this someone whom you don't want to leave. And that person will give you reason to live and makes your dead soul back to life, and I'm lucky to have that person. Without him, I'm living my life with sadness and pain. And how ironic because I never prayed for God, but now I prayed for that person to stay forever with me. If life is a choice, i will stay for the person who truly values me, no matter how hard it is for me.
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taena nami gid ya pakamatay
kung wala lang may ga palangga sakon...
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Amo naman lang ni nga acc nga wala may nakakilala sakon, i could just say whatever my heart wants to say. And sometimes, it's not enough. Whenever i needed someone to understand me, ako nalang mag inchindi sa ila kay not all the time ara sila ky i know they're busy and it's okay. Amo nalang gd na ya ang palatandaan nga dpat makaya ko nga ako lang. Ky in the end, kita mn isa ang mapatay. Ga ginhawa ko ky i should live my life. Pro sometimes ano mn bi ang pulos? Dba to survive? I don't want to sound depressing but that's reality.
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taena nami gid ya pakamatay
kung wala lang may ga palangga sakon...
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if life is a choice
Do u think about this question? Are we alive to survive or are we alive to live? Are we alive just to go to school, get a job, grow old and die? How can we live when we're surrounded with people who judges us? If life is a choice, do u think people choose to live? Maybe some will and some won't. But if I am to ask, I will not choose life because what's the point of living when you feel dead already. Until someone and there's always this someone whom you don't want to leave. And that person will give you reason to live and makes your dead soul back to life, and I'm lucky to have that person. Without him, I'm living my life with sadness and pain. And how ironic because I never prayed for God, but now I prayed for that person to stay forever with me. If life is a choice, i will stay for the person who truly values me, no matter how hard it is for me.
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