styvnne - Tumblr blog

[styvnne]

i want to hold your hand and let you know that it’s going to be okay, i’m here and i’ll never leave. 

[styvnne]

i swear i felt flowers growing in my chest;

on the day i was yours.

[styvnne]

you told me you used to write. but you burnt every pages of the book. you’re afraid to feel again. love, let me tell you this, give yourself a chance to love a second time. you never know something better might be waiting for you out there. 

[styvnne]

“Are you over him?”

“Maybe. I’d be lying if I say the places we went to won’t remind me of him. My heart still skips a beat at the sound of his name. I still think of him from time to time. But it doesn’t hurt like it used to. ‘Maybe’ doesn’t sound promising enough, does it? I guess I’m just used to it, with him being gone.”

[styvnne]

Every part of me aches for you to come back. I wish you’d be sorry for leaving and that you want me back.

[styvnne]

And if you’re looking for me, I’m still here- right where you left me.

- I loved you and I still do.

[styvnne]

I was rummaging through my memory box and I found a picture of us. I stared at it for a moment. How nostalgic, I thought. It was a few years ago at a theme park. I turned to look at my hand, recalling what happened on that day.

“I can’t.” I said nervously before we got onto the seat.

“Come on, I’ll hold your hand through the ride.”

I faced my fear of riding the rollercoaster. The terrifying thoughts of height disappeared because you were there with me. Funny how when it came to you, I forgot things that bother me. It was as if you had the ability to make me forget.

I haven’t been on a ride in so long since you’re gone. It reminds me so much of you, that holding your hand is the only thing that makes me feel safe.

s. y

[styvnne]

“Good night.” I wish there was more to it. I was always hoping to see your name pop up on my screen, even after we ended. I wondered if I have crossed your mind once in a while. It was Sunday when you decided to ask how I was. We spent an hour, at least, exchanging updates. You told me you were sick three weeks ago and that you’re doing much better now. I kept typing and erasing. There was so much to say, but my fingers froze at the thought of my words wouldn’t mean anything to you.

Even if I told you I miss you to my very bones; I know, I know it won’t change the way things happened.

- I can’t be just friends with you

s. y

[styvnne]

“Do you miss him?”

“There’s not a day that I don’t.”

s. y 

[styvnne]

He fell asleep to the playlist she made for him.

s. y 

[styvnne]

I still remember the night when you kissed me and you said, “I fucking love you and you’re the best thing that happened to me.” You were drunk and smelled of whiskey. I wasn’t sure if you meant every word you said. Maybe it was you saying goodbye. - You left the next day and never looked back

 s. y