sukhwonders

[sukhwonders]

“If women drag women down, who do they have left to turn to?” — Pallabi Dey Purkayastha

Why do we feel the need to pit women against each other? When a girl is told 'you’re different than the rest,' she feels joy and pride. But why should we feel elevated by comparison? We’re fed the idea that being 'different' makes us better, but why not just be proud of who we are without diminishing others? This mindset creates an environment where competition overshadows connection, keeping us from seeing the value in solidarity and mutual support.

[sukhwonders]

piece of my brain: unfiltered

am I an amalgam of flesh and bones, or is there more to me? a whirlwind of memories, a symphony of tragedies, silenced fears whirlpooling endlessly.

is this what dreams are made of? proving my worth in a society of predators, circling like sharks, feasting on my vulnerabilities.

rejuvenations and exorcisms- countless rituals to cleanse, yet the demon persists, feeding, thriving, on the flesh and bones i merely borrow for some time.

i wish I were a bug, small enough to be overlooked, simple enough to disappoint. no more expectations, no more sullen sorcery- barricading the horrors to a halt.

[sukhwonders]

“The price is obscene” I say to myself, The voice so rasp, Pricking thorns in my head. A mold they carved, To fit a foot That always danced Wild and untamed Behind their watchful glance.

Chasing extremes, They pushed, They pulled, Just to make it fit, In the shoe never designed For her comfort.

So I stared at them— Glossy eyes, ambiguous mind. “Just a little respite?” “No,” they exclaimed. “It’s the norm, it’s the way.”

Calloused feet Treading crossroads of fate Edges of cliffs I almost leapt. 

To tell you, I was deemed, I was scarred by a fire so wild It tainted my heart.

And so, I ask again, Is it necessary? Is it inevitable? The price is obscene, For anyone not fitting The perfect and idealistic timeline

[sukhwonders]

[sukhwonders]

Will women ever feel safe?

the horrors inflicted upon women continue../.

[sukhwonders]

@septemberkisses

[sukhwonders]

for me the most chaotic academia thing is thinking you're not 'academia' while clearly being 'academia'. you know what i mean.

every once few weeks i'm like nah man im not into this dark academia shit and a week later i'm back on my white shirt library classics reading spree listening to mozart and tamino pulling all nighters watching yt about philosophers. life is twisted

[sukhwonders]

unearth

your presence has bestowed me with oblivion and revelation how unbeknownst of me to look only at your outer glimmering shield and not dare overcome the moat maybe you fabricate it for a reason the reason being the world which deserves to burn for extinguishing your trust in transparency I wish i were deserving to look at all that lay within the castle with divided rooms one for reading, one for painting and one for your fierce imaginings how colorful would life be if i sat in one of the four walls and dared experience the contents

you entrance me like no one ever has so unearthing you would have been a blessed honor that my immoral hands would never grasp you talk gently like the breeze that catches the leaves dancing you walk like the air hugs your curves as you sway your voice like the crunching of leaves in autumn every word you utter is divine looking at you is like worshipping a goddess who did not deserve to walk this menial Earth you should gulp at the realization of how unearthly you are you, creature among creatures and The soul among souls

[sukhwonders]

Have you ever read a seemingly simple sentence, composed of basic English words, but its meaning was so profound that it messed up your mind, leaving you in a state of deep contemplation and existential questioning?

Franz Kafka penned such a line and it has left me speechless:

"The meaning of life is that it stops."

Being aware of our mortality can really change our perspective drastically. Living every day as if it is our last because tomorrow is not promised and not taking the presence of anyone as "granted", really makes you wonder what truly matters.

[sukhwonders]

the dead do not die

"how transcendent

that the living continue to live

and the dead continue to live inside them"

[sukhwonders]

one last wish...

Your present intake of breath, Might be another man's dying wish, One last wish Before he succumbs to his forlorn fate. How easily we ignore our belongings, How easily we judge others for theirs. That one man on the hospital bed eyes hollow and ashen skin, Who battles Yama every day— Ask him if these belongings matter, If they ever mattered. Or does he yearn for the warmth of the sunrise? To hear one last time the twittering of birds The ebbs and flows of the tides As they whisper against the shore. You will understand how narrow you have been, How disgustingly materialistic your cravings, To possess more and more. Till what is left? It all circles back to it: Your dying wish of one last breath.

[sukhwonders]

when in doubt...

This virtue that halos around me resonates with Arete? or Hecate? I am unaware.

The angels on my shoulders weighing my conscience, bending my will day-by-day.

What am I; What am I not? I'm still in the process of figuring it out.

During the daylight Arete whispers, "Silly you, be good"; But Hecate demands and complains, "you really think?"; The halo begins to flicker, The spark ceases to glimmer; I am no longer the mortal flesh; Just an amalgam of every thought That never reached the surface.

What am I? What am I not? A soul in flux; A heart in doubt I'm still in the process of figuring it out

[sukhwonders]

you are with me but you are not

it doesnt feel the same way it was before we dont talk the same way we used to talk before we dont meet each other like we used to before before the eclipse happened and snatched away the light of my life i was happy without you and i was happy with you but now, what is this happiness? you are with me but you are not you want to see me but you can't for how long will this continue when will i even see you will we ever even meet will your lingering glance ever settle on me? will your breath ever be taken again away by me? the moment you see me? but the unfortune lies not in the the lingering glance or the breath it lies in the uncertainty of when the angels will hear me and grant me this moment that we have been longing for will we end it before instead? will the moment last a decade? will our souls that were so entwined try to untangle themselves? i feel the tug now the push the pull the drag scraping my sides how deeply entwined were we will we forever be this connected? will the moment that we were longing for ever be granted?

[sukhwonders]

a decision? what's that

the balance lies ahead, pros and cons weighted on each end, will i do this or that, what if life comes tumbling down, what if life laughs at my face, what if i fail miserably, will life ask me to dissuade? all these bombardments making me welp in pain when will making decisions become easier and when will breathing become calmer

[sukhwonders]

when a woman is in love pt. 1

You know I don’t like to describe him like other girls do, he’s not my prince charming or my lucky boy, he’s not my knight in shining armor I am not the damsel in distress he needs to save instead I am that desperate girl who longs for him yes I am desperate but just for him for his smile to gleam at me for his dimples to crease towards me for his laugh to be directed to me for that glint in his eyes as he looks at me I am desperate but just for him I want him like the blood running in my veins I want him like the air I breathe but even though wherever I go I don’t notice the lack of him he swarms my mind and buzzes in it I always think of responses he would conjure in all the situations that fit he’s not near me but he’s in me in my head, in my heart, in my being his soul entwined with me and I am desperate but just for him

[sukhwonders]

heaven's over now

is this the heaven that the younger me dreamed of? this heaven? where my breath feels like a stolen inhale? where it feels like a rope has been tied around me? why am i constricted? heaven was not supposed to feel like this but oh! the string broke and realization hit just like heaven was a thought of mine this is the hell of mine overthinking each situation has led me to this lying about my sadness has resulted into this the façade on my face the strongest trait of mine my younger self would not have been proud and that is what hurts my soul almost like i committed a heinous crime

but sometimes i wonder, maybe it is time to redefine, my thinking and processing to get in line maybe there is still a chance for me to enter the gates of heaven maybe there is still a chance that the angel there has reserved a seat for my presence but oh the demon is stronger! he enters this fuzzy brain of mine and makes me hit rock bottom the zero which i rose from now lies in front of me which is why i say, that heaven is over now and there is no chance for me

[sukhwonders]

Icarus laughed when he fell, in defeat and unconquerable eyes, But if he hadn't flown at all, hadn't risked it all, he would've never known what freedom felt like