sunl0ver04

[sunl0ver04]

*yoink*

[sunl0ver04]

I know for a fact Eddie gets upset with Buck for not asking questions when he’s finding out gossip about other people.

Like Buck would hear something at the pta meetings and just relay it to Eddie like it’s nothing.

Meanwhile Buck has no idea that he’s even supposed to ask follow up questions.

“What do you mean Mary Anne Leigh is getting divorced?”

“That’s what I heard”

“Yeah, but who said it?”

“I don’t know the mom with the twins?”

“Which twins? The boy identical twins or the fraternal twins or the girl identical twins?”

“There’s more than one pair of twins in Chris’ school?”

“Who else was there?”

“I didn’t look”

“Okay but why are they getting a divorce? Did Mary Anne ask or the divorce or did her husband”

“I don’t know”

“What else did they say?”

“Something that Brayleigh’s husband was having an affair with his secretary?”

“Oh everyone knows that”

“One of the moms said that Brayleigh caught him and they guy in their bed”

“Wait. The secretary was a guy?!”

“Yeah and they said he was younger than him too”

“You know what, her husband did talk to me all the time during pta meetings and school events. Always asked to hang out after too, but I kept telling him next time.”

“What? When? What did he ask to do? He does that all the time? Where was I?”

“Oh so now you’re asking all the right questions”

“Eddie!”

[sunl0ver04]

[sunl0ver04]

CRYING

[sunl0ver04]

Be my Penguin

THIS FANFIC WAS WRITTEN BY ME AND PREVIOUSLY POSTED ON AO3. PLEASE DO NOT REPOST WORK ANYWHERE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.

“Have you been trying to mate with me?”

The words fly out of Eddie's mouth before he has a chance to stop them, and he refuses to be embarrassed about it. Especially when Buck was the one who started this weird mating ritual in the first place.

That being said, Eddie’s little outburst has, for the very first time, rendered Evan Buckley speechless.

Across from him, Buck sat frozen - beer bottle pressed to his lips and eyes wide.

Eddie’s changed his mind. He would, in fact, like to rewind time and unsay everything that just came out of his mouth.

Hell, maybe he should go back to before he moved to LA. Maybe head to Chicago instead.

Chris would like it there. Sure, winter would suck, but they’ve got nice museums.

Buck sets his beer bottle onto the coffee table and turns to face him.

“Uh,” Buck says, drawn out and slow. “I mean……. I…Do you want me to try and mate with you?”

Eddie blinks. Then blinks again, trying to figure out what terrible thing he did in his past life to be sitting beside his best friend, talking about mating with each other.

He’s a father. A first responder. An upstanding member of the community. No one can ever find out about this conversation.

“Take your time, Ed’s,” Buck says, entirely too amused considering Eddie kind of wants to die right now.

Eddie throws a hand over his face, praying the floor will open up and swallow him within the next two seconds.

“Nope. Pretend I said nothing. In fact, this is all a dream, Buck. It’s okay. You can go back to sleep.”

“No can do, Edmundo,” Buck says, clearly holding back laughter. “That trick hasn’t worked on Christopher since he was ten, so it sure as hell won’t work on me. Though, if you want, I could start squawking, flap my arms a little.”

“Uhhhhh. You’re not helping, dickhead.” Eddie says, muffled by the hands covering his face.

“I’d say I’m helping a lot, actually.” Bucks smiling now, big, bright, and so beautiful, Eddie forgets how to breathe for a second. “Glad to see you finally figured it out. Unfortunately, it took you nine weeks, so I wouldn’t hold my breath on being promoted from Firefighter Diaz to Detective Diaz anytime soon.”

Find full fic on A03 @ Sun_lover04

[sunl0ver04]

Thanatophobia (the phobia of losing someone you love)

THIS FANFIC WAS WRITTEN BY ME AND PREVIOUSLY POSTED ON AO3. PLEASE DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE ELSE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.

Buck doesn’t remember the drive from Eddie’s house to his loft, his mind clouded by the fact that he’d just lost the two most important people in his life - his family, his home, his safe space. By the time Buck reached his front door, he couldn’t quite stop the tears from falling. His breath comes out fast and hard as the panic of what just happened consumes him. He tries and fails to suppress a sob as he unlocks his front door, shaking hands and blurred vision making it harder than it should be.

The second Buck enters the loft, he climbs the metal stairs, slams open the bathroom door, and reaches for the fresh pack of razor blades he bought just last week. Everything was too much, the thoughts swirling around his head showing no sign of stopping. Buck knows it’s all his fault. If he wasn’t too much, too loud, too suffocating, too exhausting, then maybe Eddie wouldn’t be leaving. Maybe he would have been able to stop Christopher from running all those months ago. Maybe he wouldn’t feel so alone.

Before Buck can even think to stop himself, he’s dragging the blade across his arm and watching as the blood begins to trickle out of the fresh cut. The voices in his head disappear for a few seconds, and the weight begins to lift, but it’s still not enough. Buck isn’t cutting to stop the noise this time; he’s doing it because he deserves to feel the pain, deserves a physical reminder of his failures. Evan Buckley has known, ever since his first breath, that he was destined to fail everyone he loves. He failed Daniel before he could even walk, failed his parents and Maddie by not saving his brother, failed Eddie and Christopher more times than he can count. That’s why he keeps going, keeps cutting his arms and thighs until he can’t see past the blood and tears, keeps cutting until his pain feels more like redemption than suffering.

Vaguely, through the ringing in his ears, Buck can make out the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs and what sounds like his name being called. Before Buck can even react, he sees Eddie standing in the doorway of his bathroom, a mixture of shock, sadness, and fear on his face.

Taking a shaky breath, Eddie steps forward slowly, trying not to scare the man in front of him. “Dios, no. ¿Qué demonios has hecho, Evan?” Buck’s near-instant sobbing has Eddie rushing forward and falling onto the tiled floor so he can hold the crying man in his arms. Eddie hasn’t felt fear like this since he felt Bucks' ribs crack under his cold hands the night of the lightning strike. The thought that he probably played a part in the pain Buck is so clearly feeling breaks something in Eddie, breaks something that may never truly be fixed. It's right here, on Bucks bathroom floor, covered in his best friend’s blood, that Eddie promises himself that he will do everything in his power to make sure Buck knows that he is loved beyond words can describe.

Full fic can be found on AO3 @ Sun_lover04