sys-confessions - Tumblr blog

[sys-confessions]

Mainly a vent regarding r/systemscringe because this is getting so fucking annoying

I hate that people will actively post places and fakeclaim every system. Not just endos, but legitimate systems. We’ve been posted on there a bit and it’s annoying as hell to see people that just don’t know us saying we’re “faking a disorder and making it a game”

Can I not have fucking fun? Do I have to be fucking miserable for those bastards to understand that I’m sick and tired of not being able to enjoy my life?

They don’t think DID exists and it’s annoying as all hell.

I’m more upset that others on blogs are getting posted via asks and shit just to be made fun of.

They even say that ramcoa doesn’t exist when it does. There’s a plastic bag over their heads and they won’t do anything to stop it. I wish Reddit would fucking do something about the bullying and belittling that fucking subreddit does and how much misinformation is there.

God damn. I wish they’d just let systems fucking live and stop saying “every single system is fake and can’t have fun”

It’s annoying.

But if you say anything about it and how you’re annoyed that you’ve been fakeclaimed, you’re immediately fake as well, no matter if you have a diagnosis or not

People piss me off

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[sys-confessions]

Not a confession more of a question

If you can't answer that's ok!!

Is it possible for a headmate to accidentally create a spot in headspace that looks like a part of their source?

It's definitely possible. In our case, all of our introjects have their own subsystems or layers that look like their source.

[sys-confessions]

I'm the host/default of a system and I keep a journal (have since I was a kid) but only one or two others actually write in it as well, and typically they're masking as me. I'm not sure if this is normal or not. I get not all of them would want to add to it, but it makes me doubt what's going on because it's mainly a "me" thing.

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[sys-confessions]

kinda vent-ish

i miss our ex psys, we talk to them but only as friends

i miss my partner i really want to just beg them to let me talk to him

im so desperately waiting for him to front on his own and talk to me, but their host is too busy

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[sys-confessions]

sometimes i feel Partial-DID and osdd-1A systems tend get overshadowed? or like not talked about enough, it feels a bit isolating ngl.

-🛰️(a P-DID system here)

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[sys-confessions]

System who ended up in a bad relationship that destroyed their protector here!

Izzy is no longer our protector, she’s not in the right mindset to do that job. We luckily had someone who stepped into the role with no fuss.

We still find ourselves hoping every notification is them. Coming back to us. I think that maybe they destroyed all of us, not just her.

Wishing the best of luck in your recovery. You will get through this.

[sys-confessions]

It’s so fucking debilitating to watch people take terms and posts and recoin them just to match their own views…. Example. Someone who is pro endogenic and taking a term made by a anti endogenic and recoining it JUST BECAUSE they had different views, and same goes for the opposite way

It’s fucking pathetic and stupid, yall need to grow the fuck up. I get it. We’re upset we can’t control other’s opinions and mindset either.

But is there really a need for that?? Especially over mogai and xenogender labels?? Don’t fucking gatekeep terms

- Supernova from The Corporate Tower

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[sys-confessions]

its so fucking annoying to see someone try to make a support post for systems and its full of the most obvious discourse brainrot ever

"youre valid even if you have a little fictive alter who says bad words."

what

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[sys-confessions]

Hey, I have a bit of an issue.

I'm a demonic entity, my s/o is a human, my best friends s/o is a demonic entity and my best friend is a human. (this will be needed later on, I swear.)

So, here lately my friend (we'll just call her N) gave me her kid because N and her s/o weren't ready for a kid.

I'm very openly gay and I'm repulsed by even the subject of a woman being seen in any way that's not platonic. (I don't mean that in a rude way, it's just how it is and I never knew why.) N is open about being bi, along with my s/o.

Well, here's the issue. The baby I was given, is half human and half demon. I'm sure you can see the issue that can cause suspicion. Even though he knows I'm gay, I still worry about him jumping to conclusions. He's told me I can ask for him to front before but it feels wrong to do so because I don't wish to bother him if he's busy and I'm aware I have to tell him, it's just nerve wrecking.

I don't know if I'm making any sense with this.

I don't mind if you give advice or not, this is just something that's bothering me.

Hi anon, I'm very sorry for the late reply.

As it stands, I do believe that you may want to explore those feelings of repulsion in a safe environnement. For exemple, are you more worried that your partner would believe that you may have cheated on him, or rather are you more uncomfortable with the imagined scenario in which you would have had relations with a woman, resulting in the child?

I wish you the best of luck with this situation.

[sys-confessions]

Something that always nags us about feeling fake is knowing how so many of us are nonhuman and have our own separate memories unrelated to being a system, which I don't think logically is that different to our introjects and having memories but it makes us feel like we're faking it all regardless-

And honestly I have no idea how common this actually is, we feel like we have so little knowledge despite everything we've tried-

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[sys-confessions]

We ended up in a relationship with someone who really hurt us. They have since disappeared from our lives completely .

I want to find them and beg for their forgiveness, even though they practically destroyed our Protector.

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[sys-confessions]

I'm a host and after communication shut down I just...went into denial. Now I'm not sure where I am. I don't want to admit my alters are real. The thought of reaching out to them again terrifies me. I know that they tried to reach me and I pushed them away. Now I'm just here with constant reminders that I was starting syscovery and I don't want to confront it

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[sys-confessions]

i keep coming to and finding hookup apps installed on my phone. it never looks like anything has actually happened, but i can't help but be worried anyway... especially since i don't know how to stop it

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[sys-confessions]

Tw mention of character death, very subtle mention of sh

I don't know how, but we manage to form fictives that remember they have died or do die in their source.

One of our newest fictives is Tech from The Bad Batch (I'll try not to spoil the series that much) and as expected, something bad happens to him in his source.

All I can do is hope that he doesn't remember what happened because it could lead to us doing some things we aren't proud of.

All of our fictives so far remember something from their source, even if it's not much, and often is weights not just on them but on all of us.

very depressing, ik, sorry.

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[sys-confessions]

Tw: mention of sexual trauma

Being a sexual trauma holder and a little/middle sucks, I feel gross. I'm just a kid why do I have to hold these memories :(

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[sys-confessions]

Tbh tired of the whole "littles are always innocent" crap. Yes I have no problem with genuinely innocent littles, but I'm not a sweet wholesome innocent little, and seeing all the content about littles only being innocent just makes me feel like hell and like I'm invalid :p quit assuming littles are all innocent beans or sumn idk

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[sys-confessions]

its so terrifying figuring out ur a system closely after ut friend says they are one, we did research because we were curious abt it and then realized how many symptoms we match HGHHHH

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