system-in-shadow

[system-in-shadow]

why won't my brain let me get better

[system-in-shadow]

[system-in-shadow]

God damnnnn am I getting sick of the DID community online. I don't try shit on other systems or say what's "right or wrong" because every system is uniquely it's own.

But FUCK MAN. it's like you can't say anything that falls into classic experiences of a covert system without it being beat down by heavily aware or overt systems. (I won't say fake... but.... that's how it feels a lot of times....)

Circles that used to feel safe, here and other social medias, don't feel so anymore. If you aren't a system with 30+ alters who fully understand themselves, sign their posts with a personal tag, then you get brushed off as inferior.

Like actually fuck off and kick some damn rocks man. I am not anti self diagnosis because it is truly all that is available to a large portion of the community, but God do I get frustrated at the times I'm treated as invalid for a diagnosis that took until I was 28 years old. After years and years of being dismissed and finally having 2 therapist finally clock on to us. Even then I froze in panic and denied denied denied it was true. Fought for my life to prove I DIDNT have this. Until it reached a point I couldn't avoid the facts anymore.

Can we please stop looking down at people who don't looked bright eyed and bushy tailed at having DID when they are 16yr old.

[system-in-shadow]

POV: confronting Parts when you get access to blurred out memory from amnesia.

[system-in-shadow]

There was months. Maybe 2 months. And everyone went silent. It was a relief at first. Relief of having continuity in my days. But after a few weeks I realized how lonely I was. How silent it was.

I would try to talk inside but everyone was back in hiding. To be fair, I kind of snapped on a few.

They've come around. I am we again. But it's an adjustment again. Adjusting to accepting the time gaps and time skips. Adjusting to how jarring the time skips can be.

I'm glad to feel like we again. And to know some are forgiving me by fronting with our best friend again.

Just.... always an adjustment.

[system-in-shadow]

did sucks.

honestly fuck you endos for wanting this.

i lose days of time. im constantly fatigued. it gives me high levels of anxiety. im behind in my classes.

it’s not all silly goofy built in friends.

sure it’s great sometimes but i hate it. imagine if someone was in your brain hiding things from you. that’s what one of my alters does does. it sucks.

i can’t live my life because im losing so much time.

i feel like my life is falling apart but haha at least i have friends in my head 🤭😇

it’s so demoralizing to see people want this disorder when it’s so horrible to live with.

-indy

[system-in-shadow]

[system-in-shadow]

AHHHH FINALLY, we have a new system blog. Ours got erased when the main account was taken down.

This will be mostly a rant and vent blog on system thoughts and a place for others to post as themselves instead of passing as our host.

DX: DID

Don't ask who we are or who is speaking because we still can't identify everyone.