taestheticcus

[taestheticcus]

obscure words

sonder:

the realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own

mauerbauertraurigket:

the inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends 

vemodalen:

the frustration of photographing something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist

anthrodynia:

a state of exhaustion with how shitty people can be to each other

hanker sore:

finding a person so attractive it actually pisses you off

[taestheticcus]

// Beneath the thoughts and feelings you have worn on your shoulders for so long, there is the real you, who is worthy of freedom from what darkness said you would be. For you are more than what you feel, you are more than what you think, and yes, these things do matter, but they do not mean everything. There is still this open space deep within endless grace to let those old things go  and start all over again. //

-Morgan Harper Nichols

[taestheticcus]

This is the first time I’m addressing anything over here. But what I am going to address is surely not something which is new to any of us and it will be really nice if you read it. I know it’s long but please, if you ever loved One Direction, read it. :)

 So one of the most popular bands in the WHOLE of known universe had its 10 year anniversary and I, as a super proud and happy directioner looked forward to that day with all my heart and eagerness. Of course we were clowning, I mean c’mon, this is the band that makes money off the hopes it gives us of reuniting, but still I will never stop loving them because the memories I have attached with them are too precious to just be forgotten about, even if the band doesn't physically exist anymore.

 The day and the week (you might say), was rather filled with a burst of energy and extreme love that we feel for them and every time a member of the band posted a picture or tweeted, we lost it. We screamed “I love you” over more than a thousand times, got extremely frustrated because the fandom that can hack through security cameras and (supposedly) find out their passport pictures, is not able to goddamn open an envelope (which turned out to be the Where We Are Tour which I’m sure all of us have at least seen once) and cried our eyes out while scrolling through the website they created, watching the same video diaries, interviews and music videos that we now know by heart. But to our  disappointment, we didn’t get anything more than a video, which barely lasted 5 minutes (and here comes the thing that stings the most) no post from Zayn.

Now I myself was extremely mad at the fact that he didn’t post anything. Not even a story or a small tweet and very honestly I called him names too. I feel nasty now for doing that because it IS a hard pill to swallow that he DOESN’T need to post anything to show us his respect for the other boys and the band. He owes it to himself and NOT us. Him posting or not posting anything doesn’t change his love and how thankful he is to us. I know that without “us” he won’t be so famous, but without us he won’t have suffered through racism and Islamophobia. Of course not all of us contributed to that but the fact that some of us did, the “fans” of the band, who did say horrible things here and there DID affect him, even when there were thousands of us believing the opposite. When you belong to a minority in a group, especially a minority that has been condemned and treated harshly over years, it’s hard to overlook the people criticizing you.

He was heavily whitewashed while he was in the band and the management went to the extent of telling him that he doesn’t need to answer anything related to his religion in any interview because they knew it would attract hate and they didn’t want such a “petty” issue to interfere in their monotonous-don’t take any musical input form the members-be the perfect band-money making strategy. But in one interview Zayn shared “I believe that your religion should be between you and whoever your belief is in. I don't think you should stick it in people’s faces.”

But being a Pakistani- British heartthrob, no one would allow him privacy. His tweets about spreading awareness about events like #FreePalestine and retweet in support of Peshwar were unnecessarily over thought and some media outlets suggested that Zayn is talking about all of this because he is somehow more involved in those incidents. As if he is not a human who could just have compassion towards them.

Being in One Direction, he wasn’t allowed to promote anything that showed his Muslim side and was asked to appeal more to white teenagers. This is ridiculous because they are already controlling the music that they sing and suppressing them in so many ways, that they decided to enforce power of looking after how they dress and look too.

 When a video of Zayn and Louis smoking marijuana leaked online, Zayn received the most backlash, regardless of the fact that Louis used a racial slur (nigger). Let’s not forget how he was coined the ‘Bradford Bad Boy’ since the beginning because he was an introverted mysterious guy.

 “The leaked promotional promotion of This Is Us put him in a box of being the “poser” and all other sorts of bad boy villian image in contrast of the positive descriptions of the other members. Curious how the only brown guy in the group gets the worst narrative.” A source states

Zayn has faced countless parody songs like “Zayn did 9/11″ by Uma Kompton, taunting tweets suggesting he’s a terrorist and joke about him leaving 1D to join ISIS.

But as we all know why he left 1D, since he developed an anxiety problem and eating disorder because of the absolute bullshit he went through, he is said to have caused disruption among the fanbase of One Direction. Some of the fans only want Zayn to be successful as long as he is a puppet of the toxic One Direction “brand.” Although fans encouraged him to speak up more about his problems while being a part of the band, they were outraged and stated his actions to be traitorous, when he left the band to cut himself off the suppression he was under and freely speak about it.

 “Strangely enough, aside from Liam, Zayn’s former bandmates have never publicly defended him from discrimination. Perhaps that’s the result of their PR team’s instructions, but it is sad to see that the issue has largely been swept under the rug. The objective for the One Direction machine has always been to make as much money as possible in the shortest amount of time—not to make much of a social or political impact. But Zayn has the potential to do exactly that.” A source says.

Recently he told Vogue, “I was raised in the Islamic faith, so it will always be with me, and I identify a lot with the culture. But I’m just me. I don’t want to be defined by my religion or my cultural background.”

Surely we can say that he really believes in that and that’s why he said it openly, but a part of me can’t help but think that he is saying this and forcing himself to believe this because he has been discriminated against so much.

If we command that he posts something about how “amazing” his journey has been when he was in the band, the truth still remains the same that it wasn't an amazing journey. He loves the boys, he loved the exposure and the opportunity to some extent too and has always expressed his gratitude and gratefulness to them and the fans, but ITS OKAY if he doesn’t post about it.

You can say that without the fans he would have been a nothing, but don’t you think he already knows and acknowledges that? Don’t you think he knew that his fans might turn their back against him when he will depart from One Direction and still ended up leaving the band? Don’t you think he knew that he will practically face a different fan base now or that if worst comes to worst he will not have a lot of fans and might actually end up being a failure? People did turn against him but he doesn’t give a shit anymore because he cares about his mental health.

So, understand that he is always very grateful to all the love and support that he has been showered and will always mention it while in a concert or when he is winning an award, or tweet once or twice about it or randomly bless us with his face on Instagram, but don’t throw shade on him because it’s a day where he is “supposed” to post. He is already suffered enough, cut him some slack when he is finally happy and growing and healing and having a baby.

Let him be. Let him be free of all the hate we have held for our selfish reasons. Please.